aeroplane blond - one who has dyed her hair but still has a 'black box"!
aeroplane skirt - a skirt with a very long slit up it that goes all the way up to the 'cockpit'.
Suggested by Matthew Harris.
April in Paris
- a bit of a weird one this. This is taking well-known complex bit of Rhyming
Slang to the next level! 'April in Paris' = 'Aris' = 'Aristotle' = 'bottle' = 'bottle and glass' = 'arse' !
Suggested by Alec Sterling.
back wheels - balls, testicles. An example of this excellent suggestion from James Muir would
be "Cor, I got a great blowjob last night, she even got me back wheels in!". You could also use vulgar
terms like "Right up to the back wheels" etc.
badger scratching - to feel a woman's vagina. i.e. "Wouldn't mind doin' a bit of badger
scratching with her". Suggested by Simon Dodson.
badly packed kebab - a vulgar (but still excellent) term for the 'vagina'. Suggested by
Catherine Schrier (which makes it more OK to put on the site!). This one will do the rounds I'm
sure.
Barry White - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'shite' (northern sounding version of shit). e.g. "Just
nipping out for a Barry!". Suggested by Matt Rodway.
Basil Boli (footballer) - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'tolli/toley/toly' which apparently is
Scottish slang for 'turd'?? e.g. "I'm just nipping out for a Basil". Suggested by Derek Dunbar.
Bazil Brush - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'thrush' (the condition). Suggested by Lee McCloud.
Also 'dust pan and brush'.
Battle of Hastings - meaning 'history'. A term I heard on the TV show 'Game On'. It was
used in the context of a relationship - "No mate, she's Battle of Hastings". Anyone know of this
one?
Beatrix Potter - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'rotter' (ugly 'bird'), e.g. "Blimey, will you look at
that bird Tim's with. A bit of a Beatrix!". Suggested by Tim Green.
beer scooter - the ability to get home after a night out on the booze and not remember it, i.e.
"I don't even remember getting home last night, I must have got the beer scooter".
Billy Bunter's - Modern (?) Rhyming Slang for 'punters' (customers), e.g. "Oi John, there's
some Billys on the forecourt". Suggested by Gary Foster.
Billy-two-sheds - an excellent one on the same lines as 'Billy-no-mates'. The sort of bloke
who, no matter what you have, always has one more or does one better. Suggested by Chris
Donnelly.
bitch piss - 'girlie' drinks, i.e. vodka coolers and other alcopops. Suggested by Mark Nolan and
already used by me and my mates! "What's that bitch piss you're drinking, get a pint dahn yer".
blob hammock - original suggestion for sanitary towel by Glenn Atkins.
Bob Marley - another Modern Rhyming Slang term for 'charlie' (cocaine). If used in it's short
form (i.e. 'Bob') it could be confused with the older term 'Bob Hope' (dope).
Brad Pitt - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'shit'. This seems to be a relatively popular one at the
moment.
Britney Spears - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'beers', e.g. "Give us a couple of Britneys will ya
Doreen". Suggested by Max Barber as seen on 'The Big Breakfast' TV show.
Bruce Lees - erect nipples (as in a pair of hard 'nips'). Suggested by Helen Shemilt.
budgie's tongue - clitoris, e.g. "You know how it is mate, you find the budgie's tongue and
bingo!". Suggested by Neville Ackerman.
Bum Gravy - This one speaks for itself ! You may get this after a dodgy ruby. Suggested by
Keith Giles.
bunny boiler - an unhinged and overly possessive woman. From the rabbit boiling scene in the
film "Fatal Attraction", e.g. "I don't like the look of her mate, could be a bunny boiler". Suggested
by Paul Webb and also by Tristian Paramor.
busted sofa - an excellent term for an overweight woman wearing a tight dress/trousers.
Suggested by Ray Connor.
Cecil (Gee) - a new slang term for a thousand pounds (a 'G' is an old term for a 'grand' which is
a thousand). Used by Johhny Vaughn and heard by Matt Helm.
cheesy quaver - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'raver'. Suggested by Philipp Thuering who says
he saw this one in a book.
Chevy Chase - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'face', e.g. "Nice Mystics shame about the Chevy".
chicken jalfrezi - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'crazy'. Chris Kelly suggested this one.
chubby chaser - a person attracted to fat people (usually after much beer). Suggested by
Paula.
council gritter - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'shitter', e.g. "Does she take it up the council?".
Suggested by Sean Perry.
cup fart - the funny sound made when you don't quite slurp your tea. Suggested by Smitty.
custard pie - meaning: turned down by a girl, i.e. "I got the custard pie from that bird over
there". (Suggested by Tamir Young.)
Danny La Rue - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'clue', i.e. "I haven't a Danny mate!". Suggested by
Andy Lock.
David Gower - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'shower', e.g. "Give us half an hour mate, I've gotta
go for a David".
Donald Trump - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'dump' (defecate), e.g. "I'm just nipping out for a
Donald".
drink-link - a modern term for a cashpoint machine (ATM). Named so because it is common to
visit one before going out on the booze! Suggested by Allan.
drop the kids off at the pool - to defecate. This seems like a popular one at the
moment and has been suggested by many. Maybe originates from the comic Viz, although Gregg
from the USA reports that this was popular there in the early 80s.
drum and bass - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'face', i.e. "Nice body, shame about the drum".
Suggested by John Mortimer.
Easy Rider - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'cider', i.e. "Give us a pinta Easy mate". Suggested by
Brian MacDonald.
Edinburgh Fringe - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'minge' (vagina). Suggested by Alan.
Elephant and Castle - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'arsehole'. From the well-known area in
London. I have heard this before but am not sure how widespread it is. Suggested by Malcolm
Kinsley.
Euaned - to get very drunk. A reference to Tony Blair's son's drunken antics reported in the
press. e.g. "I got completely Euaned last night !". Thanks to Sam Sharp.
feeding the pony - to arouse a woman using one's digits ! Suggested by Nicola Fleet. Also
see 'badger scratching'.
(to) figure of eight it - to suggest a girl has a slack vagina, i.e. "Blimey, you'd' av to figure
of eight it to get any pleasure from it!". Suggested by Jon Krinks.
fish licker - lesbian. Suggested by Glenn Atkins.
fishmonger - slang term for 'lesbian'. Anyone else use this? Suggested by Jon Krinks.
Flight Lieutenant Biggles - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'giggles', e.g. "I had a bad case of
the Flight Lieutenants". Suggested by Jon Macfarlane who saw this in an Irvine Welsh book.
float a sausage to the seaside - to have a shit. A term that has been suggested by a
few people. This one is one of many similar phrases (see 'see a brown friend off to the coast',
'drop the kids off at the pool') which may originate from the comic Viz.
Frank and Pat - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'chat', e.g. "Do you ever stop your Frank and Pat!".
After the well-known couple in Eastenders, the UK soap.
front/four wheel skid - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'Yid' (Jew). Suggested by Simon.
furry monkey - slang term for vagina. As used by Daisy Donovan on Channel 4's 'Eleven
O'Clock Show'.
gentleman's relish - spunk/sperm. Another great suggestion from Jon Krinks.
George and Zippy - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'nippy' (cold). After the bizarre puppet duo
from the children's TV series 'Rainbow'. Suggested by Matt Wrixon.
Gianluca Vialli - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'Charlie' (cocaine). Suggested by a few people.
glazey dougnut - a gross term describing what you get round your mouth after a woman has
finished sitting on your face. Suggested by Steve.
Gorillas in the Mist - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'pissed' (drunk). Not sure if this is
widespread or not. Suggested by John-T.
greyhound - a very short skirt. From the fact that a greyhound (on a race track) is close to the
hare (hair), i.e. "Blimey, look at the greyhound on that bird!". Suggested by Tim Golding.
hanging bacon - womens 'bits'. Bit of a rude one suggested by Tania Baird.
Hale and Pace - Modern Rhyming Slangfor 'face'. Named after the comedy duo, e.g. "When
you're stoking the fire you don't worry about the Hale!". Suggested by Nick Rogers.
Harry-big-button - One of my favourites, this comes from a friend of mine and is used to
describe cheap-looking electrical goods with big buttons and naff design. An example would be "I've
got a new car, it's alright but the stereo's a bit Harry-big-button'. This one tends to catch on with
others and I would be very interested if anyone else had heard it. (Suggested by R. Bushby.) I've
had one email on this saying from a Brian Jones who uses the term "Harry-clunk-buttons" after
those cheap Harry Moss car stereos. I think these car stereos are probably the origin of Harrybig-button.
Hattie Jacques - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'shakes', i.e. "After that booze up I 'ad a bad
case of the Hatties". Suggested by Christine Cusick.
have a tower! - slang for 'have an eyeful', i.e. 'Eiffel'. Suggested by Al.
huger than soup - something that is a big deal or a big event. Suggested by Kel. Anyone else
use this one?
Jackson Pollock(s) - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'bollocks' (testicles). e.g. "He needs a good
kick in the Jacksons".
Janet Street-Porter - Modern Rhyming Slang for a 'quarter' (of hashish).
Jean-Michel Jarre - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'bar', e.g. "Oi, Simon, get up to the Jean
Michel, will ya!?". Suggested by Simon Scott.
jockeys' whips - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'trips' (LSD). Suggested by Keith Giles.
Johnny-no-stars - a young man of substandard intelligence, i.e. the typical adolescent who
works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' bit comes from the badges displaying stars that staff
at fast-food restaurants often wear which show their level of training.
Johnny Vaughn - it's only right that the man from 'The Big Breakfast' who has popularised
many slang terms should have one using his moniker. This one is Modern Rhyming Slang for 'porn'
(pornography). Heard and suggested by Matt Helm.
kryptonite - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'web site'. One of the few terms I've heard for this.
Suggested by Chris Lambeth.
kung fu fighter - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'lighter'. Suggested by Toby Stokes.
Leo Sayer - an 'all-dayer' (drinking or a rave etc).
Lou Reed - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'speed' (the drug). Suggested by Ken Anderson.
Melvyn Bragg - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'fag' (cigarette), e.g. "Oi mate, can I scrounge a
Melvyn off you?".
Millenium Dome - Modern Rhyming Slang for ''phone' (a modern replacement for 'dog and
bone' perhaps), e.g. "Yeah, she gave me a tinkle on the Millenium Dome last night". Suggested by
James Kicul.
Milton Keynes - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'jeans'. Suggested by Lee Murthwaite.
Mork and Mindy - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'windy', i.e. "It's a little bit Mork and Mindy
today, innit?". Suggested by Barbara Andruccioli.
mumblers - used when you spot an attractive girl in tight shorts or similar clothes, i.e. you can
see the 'lips' moving but can't quite make out what they're saying. Suggested by Andy Beamish.
Nelson Mandela - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'Stella' (the lager). Suggested by Mark
Hayward.
Niki Lauda - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'powder' (cocaine). e.g. "It's at times like this I could
really handle a bit of Niki". Suggested by Tim Manning.
Norris McWhirter - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'squirts' (what you get after a bad curry!).
Suggested by Jon Macfarlane.
one in the departure lounge - to need to defecate imminently. Suggested by Sharon
Cooper.
panty hamster - original slang term for the vagina. Suggested by Dan Sparrow.
Pat Cash - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'slash' (to urinate). A modern version of 'Jack/Frasier
Nash'. Suggested by Jason Bicknell.
Paul Weller - another bit of Modern Rhyming Slang for 'Stella' (the beer Stella Artois).
Suggested by Tom Willis.
Pearl Harbour - cold (weather). This is one I have heard from a fair few people recently. An
example of it would be "It's a bit Pearl Harbour out there!". Meaning - there's a nasty 'nip' in the
air! This comes from the well-known surprise attack by Japanese planes on the American port in
Hawaii in 1941 (history lesson over). Suggested by Lawrence Gore and by Matt Grimshaw.
pictures of the queen - paper money, notes. e.g. "How do you want payin'?" "Pictures of
the queen mate !" Suggested by Dan Adams.
polo mint - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'skint', e.g. "I can't afford those shoes, I'm a bit polo
this week". Suggested by David Webb.
porridge wog - a rather un-PC term for a Scottish person.
puppy rubbing - to stroke a woman's breasts. Suggested by Simon Dodson.
ragman's coat - untidy and very hairy vagina, e.g. "Yeah, she looks quite fit but I bet she's
got one like a ragman's coat!"
rat with a wig on - slang for an ugly woman.
release a chocolate hostage - to defecate. Have heard this one from a few people, e.g.
" I'm just nipping out to release a chocolate hostage".
ricockulous - a more extreme version of the word 'ridiculous'. Good for when you want to add
more emphasis. Suggested by Adam Pyne.
salad dodger - an excellent phrase for an overweight person. Suggested by a few people.
Samantha Janus - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'anus'. After the popular bit of British totty.
Suggested by Ian Atkinson.
Schindler's List - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'pissed' (drunk). Suggested by Kevin Joslin.
scope - a replacement for the un-pc term 'spastic' used by many a school child to ridicule
someone inept or stupid. I think this was at least part of the reason the charity 'The Spastic
Society' changed their name to 'SCOPE'. Trust slang terms to update with it! Suggested by Vincent
Duckworth.
see a brown friend out to the coast - have a shit. One of many new phrases for
going to the toilet. Suggested by Trevor Burton.
(to) shake hot white coconuts from the veiny love tree - to masturbate.
Humorous phrase heard by Jon Krinks on the UK TV show 'The League of Gentlemen'.
skin chimney - excellent (but disgusting of course) term for vagina. Suggested by Lee
Murthwaite.
spam fritter - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'shitter' (anus). Similar to 'Garry
Glitter'.
Suggested by Ken Anderson.
spit roast - for a woman to be penetrated by two men from both ends at the same time. A
phrase I have heard on many occasions but am not sure how well-known it is. Suggested by Nicholas
Barr.
steak drapes - an alternate version of the popular phrase 'beef curtains', a vulgar description
of the vagina. Suggested by Mark James.
Steve McQueens - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'jeans'. Suggested by Steve Ashton.
swamp donkey - an unattractive woman, e.g. "Blimey, have you seen those swamp donkeys
sitting in the corner!".
swede - 'head'. As in "you're doin' me swede in mate, shut it will ya!". From the vegetable.
sword fighting - a term for when a woman performs oral sex on two men at the same time.
Tarka (the otter) - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'dot her. A bit of an odd one this, but to
'dot' someone is to perform anal intercourse on them (because the anus resembles a full stop), e.g.
"Oi mate, did you Tarka?". Suggested by Stuboy.
tart fuel - similar to 'bitch piss', bottled alcopops regularly drunk by young women. Suggested
by Paul McCloskey.
tea towel holder - the anus. Derived from the fact that those round plastic holders that you
push tea towels into resemble the anus. Suggested by Andrew Riley.
TFTF - Too fat to fuck. Typically after a curry, meal out or similar, something your
wife/girlfriend can whisper to you on the way home from an evening out. Suggested by Big Gay Al.
Thora Hird - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'turd', e.g. "Just nipping out for a Thora". I've heard
this one before but I'm not sure how popular it is. Suggested by Jason Bicknell.
TMT - meaning 'That's mine tonight'. When pointing out to your mates a girl to be retained in
memory in order to masturbate once home. A rather sad, but excellent term suggested by R
Ashworth.
Tony (Blair)
by Adrian Lord.
- Modern Rhyming Slang for 'hair', i.e. "I'm off to get my Tony cut". Suggested
toothless gibbon - inventive term for the vagina. Suggested by Jon Krinks.
tromboning - this disgusting term describes a sexual act where someone has their face in a
bloke's arse (probably felching), whilst giving them a hand job. The action appears similar to that of
someone playing the trombone. Suggested by Sam Sharp.
tropical fish - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'piss', pron. 'pish' (in a Scottish way). An example of
an abbreviated way of using it would be to say "I'm off for a tropie". Suggested by Michael Rees.
Turkish bath - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'laugh', e.g. "You're 'avin a Turkish mate!".
Suggested by W Sparks.
Turkish delight - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'shite'. Suggested by Skip.
up on blocks - having a period (menstruating), i.e. out of action, a bit like a car in a garage, e.g.
"I don't think I'll be in luck tonight lads, the missus is up on blocks".
vertical bacon sandwich - vulgar term for the vagina.
Vincent Van Gogh - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'cough'. As in "That's a nasty Vincent you've
got there". Suggested by Paul.
Wallace and Gromit - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'vomit'. Suggested by Bob Pearce.
wigger - a white man who is trying to act like a black man. Especially applied to a white rapper, i.e.
Vanilla Ice. Suggested by Tony Beadle.
wind and kite - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'web site'. Suggested by Abbie Jones.
wizard's sleeve - a large (cavernous) vagina. I've had this suggested from a number of people
and think it may be a creation of the 'Viz' comic (popular in the UK).
wunch - Spoonerism - collective noun used exclusively for members of the Banking profession, as
in "A Wunch of Bankers" (think about it!). Suggested by Smitty.
Wyatt Earp - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'burp'. Suggested by Jonn-T.
Wynona Ryder - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'cider'. Suggested by James Mellor, e.g. "Can I
have a pinta Wynona and half a Nelson".
zart - A fart like sound emitted from the vagina, often after roudy sex. Suggested by Smitty.