Dillon McGill
The Unhealthy Child
Analyzing the Consequences of Divorce in America
Abstract
The United States has seen a slight decrease in the rate of divorce
since its peak in 1981, but still has one of the highest rates of
divorce–along with Sweden–in the world. Approximately half of
all marriages in the United States will end in divorce (CDC,
2009). It has been proven that the mental and physical healths of
children suffer greatly when they experience divorce. The goal of
this research is to answer the questions, “What symptoms do
children of divorced parents suffer from?” and “How can people
avoid divorce in order to prevent mental and physical illness in
their children?” It will be shown that through simple steps,
marriages and families can be strengthened, and this will have
positive, far reaching effects on the health of American children.
Approximately half of all
marriages in the United States
will end in divorce.
Dillon
Dillon McGill
The Unhealthy Child
Introduction
The Erosion of the American Family
In the last half of the twentieth century there was a drastic
change in attitudes toward divorce in American society. After
World War II there was a huge spike in divorce rates. The spike
peaked in 1981, and started to decline shortly thereafter.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
(CDC), 77% of children in 1980 lived with two married parents.
In 2008, that number dropped to 66.7%. Children are being
passed back and forth between parents at a higher rate than
before. They are unwilling victims who ultimately suffer from the
poor decisions being made by adults.
While it might appear that rates of divorce have gone down
considerably since 1981, one must also take into account the
change in marriage rates. The percentage of people who marry in
this country has decreased significantly since 1950. Fewer people
are getting married, and people are marrying at older ages. It’s
clear from these trends that the institution of marriage is under
attack. One compelling observation was made that, “the concept
that society has a strong interest in preserving marriages for the
common good as well as the good of the couple and their
children has been replaced for many by the idea that marriage is
only a private relationship between consenting adults, terminable
Comparing Marriage &
Divorce
Some Causes of Divorce:
1. Immaturity
2. Insecurity
3. Conflict of Values
4. Unresolved Trauma
5. Jealousy and Infidelity
-Clay Watkins, Licensed Marriage & Family
Therapist.
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“The worst reconciliation is better
than the best divorce”
-Miguel de Cervantes
at the will of either… Some even refer to a first
marriage as a ‘starter marriage,’ like a small home one
uses for a while before moving on.” (Oaks, 2007).
Men and women are having trouble developing and
sustaining meaningful, trustworthy relationships. This
discord between husband and wife, often rooted in
selfishness, is distorting the purpose of the family. It
has become common for people to view marriage as
more of a burden than a blessing. How many times
have you heard someone say that they don’t plan on
getting marriage until they are completely finished
with their educational goals, and have established
themselves comfortably in a career? What does this
say about the purpose of marriage and family as
society sees it? People will spend years of their lives
in college, dedicating much time and effort into
preparation for their career, which is likely to be less
rewarding (and less important) than their marriage
will be.
“Some even refer to a first
marriage as a ‘starter
marriage,’ like a small
home one uses for a while
before moving on.”
-Dallin H. Oaks
structure can make or break childhood.
Recent studies have shown that the
influence of a child’s family structure can
effect how they deal with marriage and
family in adulthood.
Relationship issues aren’t the only problem facing
American families. The CDC has said that in 2007,
slightly more than five percent of children ages 4-17
were reported by a parent to have serious difficulties
with emotions, concentration, behavior, or being able
to get along with other people. In the same report, the
CDC also concluded that 17% of children ages 6-17
were overweight and 65% did not meet recommended
levels of physical activity and the diseases linked to
physical inactivity have been shown to pose a
considerable threat to the economy (National, 2008).
According to Jost and Robinson (1991),
liberalized attitudes toward divorce in the
1950s, '60s and '70s tended to minimize the
harmful effects of marital dissolutions on
children. Recent studies however, have
shown that the effects of divorce on children
are serious and often have lasting
consequences. One such study found that,
“Compared with children with continuously
married parents, children with divorced
parents reach adulthood with lower levels of
psychological well-being, more discordant
marriages, a greater likelihood of seeing
their own marriages end in dissolution, and
weaker ties to parents, especially fathers.”
(Amato, 2003).
These health problems have been addressed in great
detail over the last few decades, and a lot of progress
has been made in the areas of cause and prevention of
disease. However, the lack of research and attention
to the areas of marriage and family, and how they
relate to the health of children, is frightening. Family
The physical effects of divorce on children
aren’t as widely researched as the mental
aspects, but they are no less important. One
researcher found that children with divorced
parents had higher rates of accident, injury,
poisoning, asthma, frequent headaches,
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Men and women are having trouble
developing and sustaining meaningful,
trustworthy relationships.
speech defects, and bedwetting (Dawson, 1991). The same
author also found that children living with both biological
parents are 20-35 percent more likely to be physically healthy
than children from broken homes. Conversely, Angel and
Worobey (1988) found that “Following divorce, children are
fifty percent more likely to develop health problems than two
parent families.”
Divorce has innumerable consequences for all the parties
involved, especially children. At a time when the health of
children has never been so poor, it is absolutely imperative
that we as Americans do all that we can do to ensure that our
future generations will be as healthy and prosperous as
possible. By strengthening marriages and families, the rate of
divorce in this country could be lowered significantly. This
would translate to lower rates of mental and physical
disorders in children, which would eliminate many social and
economic burdens placed on society.
Fact:
Children living with
both biological
parents are 20-35
percent more likely to
be physically healthy
than children from
broken homes.
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Market Drivers
Why You Should Care
The CDC reports that the United States spends more of its gross domestic product on health than does
any other major industrialized country. In 2006, health care costs in the United States totaled $2.1 trillion
(National... 2008). With cardiovascular disease (CVD) being the leading cause of death in the United
States (remember that divorce has been linked to higher rates of inactivity, and that inactivity leads to
obesity which is one of the primary risk factors for CVD), it is probable that the costs associated with
treatment of CVD make up a large percentage of the total health care expenses.
High levels of CVD add to the economic burden on society. When rates of disease and treatment escalate,
resources are depleted faster and the climbing health care costs translate to higher costs for U.S. taxpayers.
Some people fear that the health problems of the aging baby boomer generation, and the vast amounts of
overweight and obese Americans today–about 135 million (Greenblatt, 2003)–will cause a financial drain
on society that will hit sometime between 2030 and 2050. This burden will be worse if people fail to
address the health problems–and their causes–experienced by America’s youth. Skeptics might claim that
progress has been made and that children are healthier today than they’ve ever been. One researcher feels
differently, Mann (2008) found that CVD risk factors in children are on the rise, and that the rate of
premature heart disease among obese teens is set to triple in coming years. How might a shift in focus on
children’s health and wellness reverse these trends?
Ancillary Problems
What’s Contributing to the Problem?
How Family is Portrayed by the Media
According to the American Academy of Child &
Adolescent Psychiatry, “...children in the United States
watch an average of three to four hours of television a
day. By the time of high school graduation, they will
have spent more time watching television than they have
in the classroom.” How much time children spend in
front of the television screen wouldn’t be a problem if
what they were watching was educational, but it’s not.
While not educational in the traditional sense of the
word, TV is teaching children. When kids watch TV,
they are learning about families: what they are, how
they interact, their purpose, how spouses treat oneanother, how parents treat children, and how to resolve
problems. The problem is that the images of family in
the media are grossly misleading and unrealistic.
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“Images of family in the media are
grossly misleading and
unrealistic.”
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Shows in the 50’s and 60’s like I Love Lucy, Lassie, and Leave it
to Beaver portrayed the nuclear family–made up of two biological
parents and their children–as a unit that worked together for a
common good. The importance of values like respect and hard
work–a necessity for survival at the time–were common themes in
these shows. Fast-forward 50 years, and you’ll find that those
values have been replaced. What have they been replaced with?
One study reported that 66% of prime time TV contains some
sexual content (UCSB, 2007). Violence in children’s TV shows has
become increasingly popular, and is often passed off as “just
harmless entertainment.” Clearly the themes have changed from
displaying a visual diary of daily life to pile-driving viewers with
sex and violence.
The importance of values
like respect and hard
work–a necessity for
survival at the time–were
common themes in these
shows. Fast-forward 50
years, and you’ll find that
those values have been
replaced.
Entitlement
A major concern of both employers and educators around the
nation is the sense of entitlement possessed by the children of the
baby-boomers. As these “trophy kids” enter college and the
workforce, they bring with them unrealistic attitudes and
expectations about their roles. These are the children that were
rewarded and praised for every move they made. They were given
awards for success and for failure, for fear of hurting their selfesteem. In college they expect to receive 'A' grades on assignments
for doing “all that they can do.” This expectation is often met with
the harsh reality that professors–in preparing students for the real
world–reward students based on results, not effort. In the
workplace, they expect higher pay, flexible work schedules, early
promotions and more vacation time (Alsop, 2008).
Family in
Media
Childhood
Obesity
Entitlement
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The causes of such attitudes have been debated, but one thing is clear: the “what’s in it for me?” mentality
is very dangerous. Dangerous because it’s deeply rooted in selfishness, the kind of selfishness that
threatens marriages and perpetuates the cycle that ties into poor mental and physical health.
Childhood Obesity
During the period 1976-1980, only 6 percent of children ages 6-17 were overweight. In 2005-2006, 17
percent of children were overweight (CDC, 2009). The growing number of overweight and obese children
in America is frightening. Americans are constantly being bombarded with the ideas that our houses, cars,
and even meals should be bigger. Many fast food restaurants will “super size” meal portions for only cents
more. Easy access to large quantities of food and limited necessity for physical exertion in this society has
created generations of people at great risk for cardiovascular disease. How can this risk be put in check?
The solution starts in the home.
Children that live in single parent homes or homes with divorced parents are more likely to be physically
inactive and therefore more likely to be overweight or obese. Danaei et al. (2009) found physical inactivity
to be one of the major preventative causes of death in the United States. Being physically active helps burn
excess calories consumed, improve the contraction efficiency of the heart, and lower resting heart
rate.
Fight Childhood Obesity
1. When it comes to diet, avoid processed
foods and foods high in sugar, sodium,
and saturated fat.
2. Give kids healthy options like fresh fruit
instead of chips.
3. Replace sugary fruit juices and
carbonated drinks with milk or water.
4. Limit the amount of time spent watching
TV, playing video games, etc…
5. Reward kids for being physically active,
and encourage them to participate in
sports.
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History
unfortunate, but Americans were less likely to
criticize someone for wanting one—not just
because divorce was common but because wanting
a divorce was consistent with the individualistic
way that more and more Americans viewed family
life. By the end of the 20th century, a person who
was deeply unhappy in his or her marriage was
almost expected to seek a divorce.”
From Pope Clement to the Gosselins
The history of divorce in America dates back to our
European heritage. According to the Catholic
Church–which dominated Europe from around 325
A.D. clear into the 20th century–divorce was not
allowed. Consequently, there was no tradition of
divorce until people like Martin Luther spoke up
against the practices of the church.
This sense of selfishness and the attitude that
people need to “look out for number one” is viral
in our society. Focus has shifted from the
relationship to the individual. People are becoming
more and more concerned with their social status;
where they went to school, what kind of car they
drive and what their position or title is.
When the New World colonists came to the
Americas, they brought with them Protestantism.
John Calvin was the heart of the theological
framework at the time. Calvin followed much of
what Luther had taught, which included allowing
divorce in cases of adultery or desertion. In the
1800s Indiana, Arkansas and the Dakotas became
the first “divorce mills,” states that people migrated
to if they were seeking a divorce. As time went by,
more divorces were being granted, and divorce laws
were changing but divorce was still frowned upon.
Cherlin (2009) noted that public concern grew as
the divorce rate rose from about 1 in 20 marriages
just after the Civil War to about 1 in 10 in the
1890s. As time passed, divorce became more and
more acceptable. “What was new in the last half of
the 20th century,” Cherlin (2009) suggests, “was the
spread of the idea that divorce is an individual
right.” The attitude that divorce is an individual
right became popular in 1969 after California
passed the first “no-fault” divorce law. Nearly all
the other states followed California and passed
similar laws soon after. These laws made it possible
for someone to obtain a divorce for any reason at all
by simply citing irreconcilable differences.
Divorce has become common in our society. Many
TV shows make light of divorce and lots of shows
are based on the lives of single parents. It would be
hard to find a primetime show that didn’t portray
the family as dysfunctional and problematic.
Adults are able to decipher the humor and irony in
media, but children are not. Even if adults can
“filter” out truth from fiction, continued exposure
to images and ideas in the media will cause people
to gradually accept them as reality.
One of the most shocking observations of how
divorce has changed in America is made by Cherlin
(2009). He cites that “…the companionate marriage
of the mid- 20th century morphed into the
individualized marriage of the late 20th century, in
which self-development and personal growth were
paramount. A divorce might still be seen as
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Conclusion
The Solution
Strengthening marriage and family relationships can eliminate the mental
and physical stress caused by divorce. It can create a foundation whereby
children can learn to adopt healthy lifestyles that prevent obesity. Strong
family bonds can teach children values that will propel them into
adulthood with realistic expectations about their purpose. Children raised
in homes with parents that value their marriage would be more likely to
adopt similar values and avoid media influences that distort the image of
American families. By fortifying the bonds between husbands, wives, and
children, divorce rates would decline and so would rates of mental and
physical disorders in children.
Families can be strengthened by following some of the following steps:
1. Spouses meet together weekly (or more often if necessary) and have a
“marriage counsel.” This would involve setting goals together, and
resolving conflicts.
2. Spouses commit to unwavering fidelity and loyalty in the marriage.
3. Spouses commit to putting the interests of their spouse before their own.
4. Spouses commit to a date night once a week.
5. By living honest and admirable lives, people would experience an
increased sense of integrity and lead better examples for children.
6. Families spend one night a week together for “family night.” Family
members would take turns preparing a lesson, playing games, and having
treats.
7. Limits placed and enforced on time spent watching TV and playing
video games.
8. Families commit to meeting together once a week for “family counsel.”
This is similar to the marriage counsel that spouses would have.
By following these guidelines, many of the problems that cause divorce
would be eliminated. The rates of divorce would plummet. Along with
decreased rates of divorce would be decreased rates of mental and physical
disease in children. Some of the economic burden associated with health
care costs would be alleviated, and children would grow up to be more
productive members of society.
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The Unhealthy Child
For additional resources online, check out:
Call To Action
What You Can Do
The first step to strengthening your family relationships is to
pick one thing from the list above and do it! Continue
making goals to be better and to accomplish all of the items
on the list. Make the decision today that your family’s
health and well being come first in your life and commit to
improvement. Get others involved. Show the list to your
friends and family members. Promise them that they too
can improve their relationships through these steps, and
that they can improve the mental and physical health of
their children.
The Interpersonal Web at Northern Virginia Community
College:
http://novaonline.nvcc.edu/eli/spd110td/interper
/relations/relations.html
The Gottman Institute: Researching and Restoring
Relationships: http://www.gottman.com/
Smart Marriages: The Coalition for Marriage, Family
and Couples Education:
http://www.smartmarriages.com/
American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy:
http://www.aamft.org/index_nm.asp
U.S. Department of Health and Human Services,
Administration for Children and Families: Healthy
Marriage Initiative:
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/healthymarriage
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References
Alsop, R. (2008). The Trophy Kids Grow Up: How the Millennial Generation Is Shaking Up the Workplace. The
Wall Street Journal, D1, October 21, 2008.
Anato, P. R. (2003). Reconciling Divergent Perspectives: Judith Wallerstein, Quantitative Family Research, and
Children of Divorce. Family Relations, 52, 4, 332-339.
Angel, R., & Worobey, J. L. (1988). Single Motherhood and Children's Health. Journal of Health and Social Behavior,
29, 1, 38-52.
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). Marriage and Divorce. Retrieved from
http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/divorce.htm.
Cherlin, A. J. (2009). The Origins of the Ambivalent Acceptance of Divorce. Journal of Marriage and Family, 71, 226229.
Danaei, G., Ding, E.L., Mozaffarian, D., Taylor, B., Rehm, J., Murray, C., Ezzati, M. (2009). The Preventable
Causes of Death in the United States: Comparative Risk Assessment of Dietary, Lifestyle, and Metabolic Risk
Factors. PLoS Medicine, 6, 4, 1-23.
Dawson, D. A. (1991). Family Structure and Children's Health and Well-Being: Data from the 1988 National
Health Interview Survey on Child Health. Journal of Marriage and Family, 53, 3, 573-584.
Greenblatt, Alan (2003). Obesity Epidemic. Can Americans change their self-destructive habits? CQ Researcher, 13,
4, 72-104.
Jost, K., & Robinson, M. (1991). Children and Divorce. What can be done to help children of divorce? CQ
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Mann, Denise (2008). Child Heart Disease Risks on the Rise. WebMD Health News. Retrieved from the World Wide
Web: http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=93373.
National Center for Health Statistics (2008). Health, United States, 2008. Washington, DC. U.S. Government
Printing Office.
Oaks, D. H. (2007). Divorce. Ensign. May 2007, 70-73.
University of California, Santa Barbara (2007). Sexuality in the Mass Media: How to View the Media Critically.
Retrieved from http://www.soc.ucsb.edu/sexinfo/article/sexuality-in-the-mass-media.
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