Time Out for Time Out
Reasons for avoiding this practice, and
strategies for what to do instead.
A training by Kathleen Sullivan MA ECD
Time Out for Time Out
 “One of the main functions of time out for me
was that it allowed me to avoid dealing with
behavior that was too frustrating or difficult or
mysterious. Time out let me pretend that I
had dealt with the problem, that time out‟s
succinct message – You know that isn’t
allowed – was sufficient.”

Bob Strachota On Their Side: Helping Children Take Charge
of Their Learning, Northeast Foundation for Children.
Time Out for Time Out:
The teachers’ perspective
 Compare and Contrast the following notions:
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Punishment vs. Discipline;
Understanding vs. Patience;
Misbehavior vs. Mistaken Behavior;
Praise vs. Encouragement.
 Consider what these terms mean to you, and
how you react or respond to them.
 Discuss with two others and record important
points.
Time Out for Time Out
 Thinking about unkindness always reminds
me of the time-out chair. It made children sad
and lonely to be removed from the group,
which in turn made me feel inadequate and
mean and – I became convinced – made
everyone feel tentative and unsafe. These
emotions show up in a variety of
unwholesome ways depending on whether
one is a teacher or child.”
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Vivian Paley, You Can’t Say You Can’t Play
What Time Out Does…
 To the child:
 Instills feelings of shame, humiliation, belittlement,
isolation, and rejection. In other words, it makes
children feel unhappy and bad.
 To the class:
 Instills a culture of fear and insecurity.
 Creates perceptions regarding who is “bad” in the
classroom.
 To the teacher:
 Relieves a teacher of the burden of understanding and
addressing the true needs of the child.
 Promotes “us against them” dynamics.
Time Out for Time Out
 Time out “cannot give a child new standards
of behavior, insight into how one‟s actions
affect others, or strategies for coping with an
uncomfortable or painful situation...The adult
is not asking: „Why have you…?‟ Or even
saying: „Here‟s why you might…‟ She is
simply telling the child, „Do it my way or
leave.‟”
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Lillian Katz, “Young Children Magazine” (NAEYC)
What Time Out Does not do…
 To the child:
Teach the child to understand his/her behavior and its social,
physical, and/or emotional consequences.
 Teach the child how to correct problems and learn new,
more acceptable behaviors.
 To the class:
 Serve as an instructional tool for developing appropriate
behaviors.
 Assure children that this classroom is a safe place.
 To the teacher:
 Encourage him/her to evaluate the circumstances under
which unwanted behaviors occur.
 Foster development of skills and strategies that would help
diminish unwanted behaviors among children in the
classroom.
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Time Out for Time Out
 “As an adult you can imagine how resentful
and humiliated you would feel if someone
forced you into isolation for something you
said or did.” For a child, however, it is even
worse, since she may come to believe “…
that there is something so wrong with her that
she has to be removed from society.”

Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish, How to Talk So Kids Can
Learn.
Preventative Strategies:
This training assumes that you…
 Understand the developmental levels and abilities of
the children with whom you work.
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Social, Emotional, Cognitive, Physical.
 Observe and record children‟s behavior: challenges
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and strengths.
Try to understand a child‟s behavior;
Look for triggers and consequences: try to resolve
them (Antecedent, Behavior, Consequence: ABC);
Cultivate a relationship with the child, AND his/her
parents/guardians.
Plan a classroom environment that takes into
consideration all of the above.
Preventative Strategies:
This training assumes that you…
 Have a schedule that you follow everyday;
 Employ set routines with children throughout the day;
 Post, review, and implement simple classroom rules;
 Consider the reason for the rules, and be sure you
can explain why they are important.
 State expectations in a positive manner;
 Offer a balance of active and quiet times throughout
the day;
 Offer choices within the context of play.
Preventative Strategies:
This training assumes that you…
 Plan activities that teach:
 Appropriate behavior such as voice control;
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Little Red Wagon, Leo the Lion,
 Acceptable communication regarding needs and wants;
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Tell children exactly what to say. Remind them to use their regular voices.
 Appropriate use of materials;
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Introduce new materials at group time. Demonstrate possible uses. Reinforce
such uses in the respective play areas.
 How our bodies can be used (Self Control);
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Red Light Green Light, Freeze Dancing, Moving Fast and Slow.
 Recognition of feelings;
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Photos of children expressing different emotions, Pass the Face, Mirror,
mirror (Mirror Neurons).
 What to do with the emotions we experience.
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Model appropriate expression of emotions, read books about strong
emotions, use puppets to teach, etc…
Alternatives to Time Out
 Time In:
 One on one time with a teacher to discuss what is
happening, what is expected, and how to plan for
what‟s next.
 Time with a teacher and another child for the same
purpose.
 Time Away:
 Redirection: The invitation, or direction to a child to
choose another area of play.
 Cool-down time: The opportunity to choose a safe,
soft, cozy area for the purpose of regrouping.
Alternatives to Time Out
 Ignore:
 This strategy may be employed when a child‟s
behavior is not endangering him or others,
 Distract:
 This strategy may be employed to disrupt a sequence
of behaviors that are learned, but unacceptable.
 Solicit support:
 Teachers may ask other staff or students to support
proper behavior by modeling.
 Negotiate:
 At times, teachers may need to compromise with
children, or “Choose their battles.”
Time In Strategies
 Time In works when the child is calm enough to have a
discussion. Here are the steps for Time In with the teacher:
 Approach the child with a calm voice and non-threatening
body language.
 Tell him/her that you wish to talk.
 Get down on the child‟s level and speak gently with him/her
about the behavior that is being viewed.
 Tell the child:
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The behavior you are seeing.
Why it is not ok to conduct the behavior.
That the behavior needs to stop.
The behavior you expect.
Ask the child if he/she needs your help to change the
behavior.
Time In Strategies Continued…
 Here are the steps for Time In with a peer:
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Approach the children with a calm voice and non-threatening body
language.
Tell them that you wish to talk.
Get down on the level of the children and speak gently with them about
the behavior that is being viewed.
If a child has been hurt or upset, console the child.
Identify what you are seeing.
Tell the offending child to look at the face of the child who has been
bothered or upset.
Describe the child‟s facial expression, vocal tones, note tears etc…Do
all of this in a gentle “teaching” voice.
Ask the child who has been offended what will make him/her feel
better. (A hug? A toy? A cold cloth?)
Invite the offending child to help fix the problem by attending to the hurt
child‟s needs.
Thank the two children for making the classroom a safe place to be.
Restate the expectation of behavior.
Time Away Strategies
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Time Away works when a child‟s behavior warrants removal from a situation.
Usually this occurs AFTER a Time In strategy has been utilized, but has failed.
Redirection is a form of Time Away:
Offer a brief explanation:
Tell the child that the behavior you are observing is unsafe and must stop.
Remind him/her that you have discussed the behavior and have agreed that it
must stop.
State that since the behavior is continuing, the child must take some time away
from the area until s/he is ready to follow the rules.
Offer choices:
 One choice may be a closed-ended activity. After the completion of a
puzzle, for example, the child may return for another try at his/her preferred
area.
 Another choice may be to an open-ended activity. If the child is capable of
determining when he/she is ready to return to the preferred activity, he/she
may go to any area to play. When he/she feels ready to return, he/she may
come talk to you about it. The teacher should gently remind the child of the
expectations and allow re-entry.
 AVOID THREATS. For example: “If you throw blocks again, you won‟t be
able to stay in this area. I‟ll be watching you…”
Time Away Strategies Continued…
 Cool down time is another form of Time Away:
 Here are the steps for cool down time:
 Involve the children in the creation of a soft space in the room where
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anyone can go to cool down.
Model use of the cool down area yourself.
 Go there, stating the reason you are going.
 At times, invite a child to go there with you.
 Take deep relaxing breaths while you are there.
 Tell children why you are taking the breaths.
Invite children to go there whenever they feel the need to regroup.
Offer to go to the area with a child in a time of need.
Make the cool down area an active part of the room.
Remember it is an area where we TEACH and PRACTICE calming
strategies.
Children determine when they have cooled down. Not teachers.
Alternatives to Time Out
 Ignore: Some behaviors do not warrant a
response from you. If a child is not hurting
others, or him/herself, the unwanted behavior
may diminish if it is ignored.
 Distract: Some behaviors may be a part of a
learned sequence that the child goes through.
By distracting the child to another activity, you
may help disrupt and ultimately diminish the
behavior.
Alternatives to Time Out
 Solicit Support: Sometimes children respond better
to their peers or yours with regard to compliance. It
may be helpful to ask someone else to support the
desired behavior, and remove yourself from the mix.
Remember, this strategy must be implemented in a
gentle, teaching manner, a “Let’s help each other
manner” rather than a punitive manner.
 Negotiate: Sometimes children cannot comply
completely with an expectation. So teachers must
“choose their battles.” If a child cannot pick up all the
blocks, set three out for her to pick up. Tell her that
you will help her by picking up the rest.
Verbal Environment
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Things to say/do:
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Things not to say/do:
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Gear the expectation to the
developmental, and/or emotional
state of the child.
State exactly what you want the
child to do.
Repeat the expectation two to three
times.
Keep your language simple and
your sentences brief.
Employ an authoritative “teachertone.”
Encourage children to work
together.
Acknowledge successes, and
challenges.
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Assume that every child can and
should comply with every rule with
the same level of success.
Add “ok?” to the end of the
sentence.
Become engaged in a discussion
regarding the merits of your
expectation.
Mock or imitate the child‟s voice.
Employ a threatening, authoritarian,
or loud tone.
Encourage children to be
competitive.
Label children‟s behavior as good or
bad.
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The Deeper Issues
 Some children come to us with great risk
factors. These factors affect their lives and
consequently their behaviors in a negative
way.
 The following slides will help us to gain a
perspective on these risk factors, and to
begin a process of understanding how to help
children using a systematic process.
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Need:
An alternative viewpoint.
Self-Esteem Needs
Belonging
Safety
Belonging Needs
Child
Safety Needs
Physiological Needs
Physiological
Self-esteem
All human needs impact the child all the time.
At certain times, one need or more may exert more pressure.
Resiliency factors influence the amount of pressure
that any one need may exert on the child
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Need:
An Alternative Viewpoint
 All human needs impact the child all the time.
 At certain times, one need or more may exert
more pressure.
 Resiliency factors influence the amount of
pressure that any one need may exert on the
child.
The levels of the Brain
 Brain Stem: primitive instincts, reflexes,
motor/movement control, internal functions
 Limbic system: emotions, neurological alarm
system, facts and events, decides short or long term
memory, rich in stress hormone receptors.
 Frontal lobes: impulse control, shifting/mental
flexibility, goal setting, executive function.
 Prefrontal cortex: moral development,
consciousness.
Brain chemicals that influence
behavior
Serotonin = happy, calm
Cortisol
Stress,
anxiety,
tension
Adrenaline
Fight/flight
Dopamine = attention,
memory musculature
The Arousal Cycle
Arousal
Judgment
Anxiety,
Trigger,
Crisis,
Recovery,
Resolution
Kindling Theory
Full Disorder Threshold
Time
Physiological Needs
 These include the needs we have for oxygen,
water, protein, salt, sugar, calcium, and other
minerals and vitamins. They also include the
need to maintain a pH balance (getting too
acidic or base will kill you) and temperature
(98.6 or near to it). Also, there‟s the need to
be active, to rest, to sleep, to get rid of wastes
and to avoid pain and to have physical
intimacy.
 Dr. C. George Boeree.
Physiological Needs
Does the child have adequate food, water,
nutrition, shelter, clothing?
If no, what resources does the family need?
Who can help?
How can we support the child‟s resiliency?
What are some of the behaviors we might see
when a child does not have adequate food,
water, nutrition, shelter, clothing?
Physiological Needs
 Are the child‟s medical needs being met?
 If no, what are the medical needs? Who can
help?
 How can we support the child‟s resiliency?
 What are some behaviors we might see when
a child‟s medical needs are not met?
Physiological Needs
 Are the child‟s sensory needs (Auditory,
Visual, Proprioceptive, Vestibular, Olfactory)
being met?
 If no, what are the child‟s sensory needs?
Who can help?
 How can we support the child‟s resiliency?
 What are some of the behaviors we might see
when a child‟s sensory needs are not met?
Physiological Needs
 Have the child‟s temperament needs been
recognized and accommodated?
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(fearful, feisty, or flexible)
 If not, how can we better understand this
child? How can we live / work together in a
positive relationship with this child?
 How can we support the child‟s resiliency?
 What are some of the behaviors we might see
when a child‟s temperament needs have not
been recognized and met?
Time Out for Time Out
 My teaching improved when I stopped relying on time
out…I was able to adopt different responses for
different types of talkers [and]…I found myself more
allied with those who repeatedly had difficulties.
These children changed from being stumbling blocks
to being part of my responsibility and I, in turn, began
to require that they rely less on time out and take
more responsibility for their behavior.”

Bob Strachota On Their Side: Helping Children Take Charge of
Their Learning, Northeast Foundation for Children.
Time Out for Time Out
 Little Red Wagon:
This song begins as a whisper and
becomes progressively louder with each verse:
 “You can‟t ride in my little red wagon, the front
seat is broken and the back seat‟s draggin‟”
 Chug, Chug. Second verse, same as the
first but a little bit louder and a little bit worse.
 Repeat the words of the first verse. When you get to the third
verse the words change and children yell:
 Third verse same as the first, but a whole lot
louder and a whole lot worse!
Time Out for Time Out
 Leo the Lion:
This song begins as a whisper and becomes
progressively louder with each verse:
 Leo the Lion was the king of the jungle, and
his jaws were strong and wide…Roar…
 Sing three times, the third verse is yelled.