AUDITION PACKET
WEDNESDAY ADDAMS
SCENE 2
(MORTICIA'S BOUDOIR)
(Revealing GOMEZ, fencing with LURCH,
who holds his foil absolutely still
while GOMEZ swipes at it
extravagantly.)
GOMEZ
Fight sir, fight like a man! Feel the kiss of my Spanish
steel! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Foiled again!
(GOMEZ strikes LURCH's sword down.
LURCH pokes GOMEZ with it.)
Oww! Damn your lightning reflexes!
(GOMEZ retains his sword. MORTICIA
enters with a bouquet of yellow
flowers.)
MORTICIA
Gomez, look.
GOMEZ
Ugh! Flowers! Who would send something so tasteless?
MORTICIA
(reads the card)
"The most precious gift there is,
More goody-licious than gold,
Is that blessing we call friendship,
Whether new or very old."
GOMEZ
"Goody-licious?" Who talks like this?
(MORTICIA removes the flowers from the
stems,During--)
MORTICIA
The Beinekes. Wednesday's friend Lucas and his parents.
They're coming for dinner tonight.
GOMEZ
Lucas?
8
MORTICIA
Yes.
GOMEZ
But Lucas is a boy's name.
MORTICIA
Yes.
GOMEZ
Wednesday has a friend who's a boy?
(They both look at Lurch. Finally--)
MORTICIA
It's nothing, darling. Puppy love.
(hands Lurch the stems)
Put these in water.
(WEDNESDAY enters, carrying her
crossbow and a goose with an arrow
sticking out of it.)
WEDNESDAY
Mom, Dad, I shot dinner.
MORTICIA
(taking it)
Oh, Wednesday, that's lovely. Wherever did you find it?
WEDNESDAY
Petting zoo.
MORTICIA
Thank you, dear. Come, Lurch - we'll whip up something
really special. And this time, we'll actually cook it.
(shares a laugh with Lurch)
Oh, Gomez - guests for dinner! Fresh meat!
(They exit. WEDNESDAY looks nervously
after them.)
WEDNESDAY
Daddy, I have something very important to tell you.
GOMEZ
What?
9
WEDNESDAY
Can you keep a secret?
(WEDNESDAY produces a ring from around
her neck.)
GOMEZ
Of course.
WEDNESDAY
Look.
GOMEZ
If I didn't know any better I'd say that looked like an
engagement ring.
(she just looks at him)
What are you saying?
WEDNESDAY
Oh daddy, Lucas wants to marry me!
GOMEZ
What?!
WEDNESDAY
Lucas Beineke loves me and he wants to marry me.
GOMEZ
Do you want to marry him?
WEDNESDAY
Yes. I think so.
GOMEZ
You think so?
WEDNESDAY
Well, I've never even met his parents, and he's never met
mine, and - I just need to be sure.
GOMEZ
That he's the one?
WEDNESDAY
That the families can get along. I mean, he has to know
what he's getting into.
10
GOMEZ
What are you saying?
WEDNESDAY
I'm saying we're who we are, and they're from Ohio.
GOMEZ
(slicing the air with his sword)
Ohio? A swing state!
WEDNESDAY
That's what I mean.
GOMEZ
You're right, this is important. Let's go tell your mother.
WEDNESDAY
No.
GOMEZ
No? But we have to tell your mother –
WEDNESDAY
Daddy, please! She'll ask a lot of embarrassing questions
and wreck the whole thing.
GOMEZ
You don't want me to tell your mother you're getting
married?
WEDNESDAY
After dinner and we're all friends, then we'll tell her.
GOMEZ
But I've never kept anything from your mother.
WEDNESDAY
(getting desperate)
Daddy, please!
GOMEZ
But—
WEDNESDAY
If you love me.
11
SCENE 6
(SOMEWHERE ELSE IN THE HOUSE)
(WEDNESDAY enters, pursued by LUCAS.)
LUCAS
You realize they're gonna freak when we tell them?
WEDNESDAY
My father won't.
LUCAS
Why not?
WEDNESDAY
I already told him.
LUCAS
What? You told your father? Your father, with the sword?
You told him we were getting married, just like that?
WEDNESDAY
He's totally cool with it. Mostly.
LUCAS
I thought we were gonna tell them all together!
WEDNESDAY
We need his help. You don't know my mother. She could
really screw it up.
LUCAS
I'm not marrying your mother.
WEDNESDAY
I know. Look - it might seem old fashioned, but I want
their blessing.
LUCAS
You're right, it is old fashioned.
WEDNESDAY
Lucas, do you love me?
LUCAS
Of course.
43
WEDNESDAY
Then leave it to me. It's all going according to plan.
LUCAS
What plan? There's no plan!
WEDNESDAY
That's the plan. Improvise. Keep 'em guessing.
LUCAS
You're really crazy.
WEDNESDAY
You say that like it's a bad thing. It's just a simple
dinner. What could go wrong? Come on.
(She leads him off. FESTER and
ANCESTORS appear again. The kids' love
has won over the ANCESTORS.)
FESTER
Aww.
#8A BUT LOVE REPRISE 2
BE PATIENT AND SOON THE WAY WILL BE CLEAR
FOCUS YOUR FEAR
AND TROUBLES ALL WILL DISAPPEAR
LET'S NOT TALK ABOUT ANYTHING OLD
ANCESTORS
PLEASE DON'T LEAVE US OUT IN THE COLD
FESTER
LET'S NOT TALK ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE
BUT LOVE
ANCESTORS
BUT LOVE
FESTER
BUT LOVE
44
ACT TWO
SCENE 1
(OUTSIDE THE HOUSE)
#15 OPENING ACT II
(TASSEL and IT have a flirtation and
run off. FESTER opens the curtain and
closes the gate. WEDNESDAY enters, with
suitcase and crossbow, pursued by
LUCAS. The ANCESTORS observe this.)
[MUSIC STOPS]
LUCAS
Wait, wait! We have to talk this over for a minute.
WEDNESDAY
Talk what over?
LUCAS
We can't just run away and get married. You said it was
important that everyone got along.
WEDNESDAY
And you said it didn't matter!
LUCAS
Yeah, but they wanna kill each other! You want that hanging
over our heads?
WEDNESDAY
Boy, you sound just like your father. The root doesn't
fall far from the tree, does it?
LUCAS
What?
WEDNESDAY
Forget it.
LUCAS
The apple. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
WEDNESDAY
God, you're annoying.
76
LUCAS
You know what I think? You don't really wanna get married.
You just said that to stick it to your mother.
WEDNESDAY
Don't psychoanalyze me, Lucas. It's a deep dark hole and
you don't wanna go there. Come on.
LUCAS
What'll we do for money?
WEDNESDAY
Stop being so scared of everything.
ANCESTORS
Yeah.
LUCAS
Right, like you're not scared.
WEDNESDAY
I eat scared for breakfast, honey.
ANCESTORS
Yeah.
LUCAS
Let's go back in the house and make some rational
decisions.
ANCESTORS
No.
WEDNESDAY
I don't want rational decisions! I want dangerous,
impulsive, crazy decisions!
ANCESTORS
Yeah.
WEDNESDAY
Are you coming or not?
LUCAS
Look - I - I can't run away like this. It's too crazy. I'm
sorry.
77
WEDNESDAY
Not as sorry as you're gonna be when you wake up and you're
forty-six and working for your father!
(ANCESTORS gesture to respond, but
WEDNESDAY cuts them off. She storms
away. LUCAS calls after her.)
LUCAS
I can be impulsive! I just need to think about it first!
[MUSIC IN]
(LUCAS, all indecision, exits back to
the house. FESTER enters.)
ANCESTORS
AH, AH, AH, AH, AH!
FESTER
There you are: Secrets exposed. Marriages threatened.
Delicious anarchy. What happens now? Can this be repaired?
Or do you all leave in an hour feeling vaguely depressed?
Let's find out, shall we?
(FESTER parts the gates, revealing--)
78
WEDNESDAY 3
SCENE FIVE: UNDER THE ADDAMS FAMILY TREE
GOMEZ sits on the swing. He listens to the sounds of
the city and park - culminating in a scream and two
gunshots, which relaxes him.
WEDNESDAY crosses furiously, with suitcase and
crossbow.
GOMEZ
Wednesday!
WEDNESDAY
Don't even!
GOMEZ
Where do you think you're going, young lady?
WEDNESDAY
Away.
GOMEZ
Elopement??
WEDNESDAY
Daddy, would you just please let me GOMEZ
No! This is what comes from keeping secrets! If the
two of you wanted to get married, you should've WEDNESDAY
(cutting him off)
There's not gonna be any marriage!
GOMEZ
No? Why?
WEDNESDAY
He bailed!
What?
GOMEZ
A breach of promise?
An outrage!
WEDNESDAY
He thought running away was a bad idea.
GOMEZ
On the other hand, he does have a point.
WEDNESDAY
I hate him!
GOMEZ
Well, it's a beginning. Something to build on.
WEDNESDAY
He says he can't live without me, and then he lets me
go. I love him. Why doesn't he love me?
GOMEZ
You just said you hated him.
Which is it?
WEDNESDAY
Both.
GOMEZ
Now you've got it.
06
PULLED
[Rev. 1/3/12]
Music and Lyrics by
ANDREW LIPPA
WEDNESDAY: "This dinner has to go OK.
PUGSLEY: "It will if you let me blow up this Lucas guy!"
WEDNESDAY: “Oh, Pugsley - ever since I met him, I wanna laugh and
cry and everything seems right and wrong at the same time and then
sometimes I just want to rip his flesh..." [MUSIC]
(cont.) "...off and eat him up until there's nothing left.”
Misterioso
Vamp
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PUGSLEY: “Wow. You got
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WEDNESDAY: “Fly away, little
birdie.” [She gives it a little
launch-toss and it falls, dead, into
the pit. GO ON]
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Su - gar plums!
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b
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An - gels watch - ing as
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I sleep and
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Slightly Brighter
b œ
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J
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73
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75
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String quar - tets and Chi - a Pets and
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72
66
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Christ - mas eve?
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Dis - ney world? I'll go there twice!
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!
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67
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af - ter - noon ba - na - na splits.
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>
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bœ >
3
bbbbbb
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Piano/Vocal
06. Pulled [Rev. 1/3/12]
76
b
& b bbbb œ œ œ œ œ œ
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f
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pulled in a new
b
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80
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pulled
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simile
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but the boy
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J‰J‰J‰
ting,
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79
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I'll stop re - sis - ting.
Just
watch me
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if they keep in - sis
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78
j
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ev' - ry
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di - rec - tion,
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in
77
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84
Œ
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I should
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j sub. P
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>
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has a
bite
85
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stay in the
‰
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n œœœ
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nœ
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dark,
not
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cresc. poco a poco
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no ped.
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b œœœ œ œœœ œ œœœ œœœ œœœœ
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82
than his
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bark.
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And you
j
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n œœ œœ
j j
nœ œ œ .
nœ œ œ .
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–8–
Piano/Vocal
86
b b b b œ œ3 œ ˙
b
&
b
87
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bet I'll bite, too.
b
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f
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con ped.
98
b
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Do what's
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99
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as I'm
n ˙˙˙˙
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90
!
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101
w
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www
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di -
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æ
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rit.
91
pulled in a new
j
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100
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Œ
89
tru - ly tab - oo,
j
j
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rec - tion.
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b
b
b
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b
&
b J‰
f
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b b œœ
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>
88
06. Pulled [Rev. 1/3/12]
102
!
!
!
Œ Ó
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ß
?
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fl
19
CRAZIER THAN YOU
[Rev. 1/14/12]
Music and Lyrics by
ANDREW LIPPA
LUCAS: "Where'd you--"
WEDNESDAY: “Put this apple on your
head and go stand against the tree.”
LUCAS: “Wait - you're gonna--?”
WEDNESDAY: “Uh-huh.”
LUCAS: “You're crazy.”
WEDNESDAY: “And you're not crazy
enough. That's the problem.” [GO ON]
LUCAS: “No, but see--the lover always comes back. Ulysses.
Tristan. Romeo.”
WEDNESDAY: "Listen, I'm home-schooled. What's your point?"
LUCAS: "I'd rather die than live without you."
WEDNESDAY: “Ok. Prove it!”
LUCAS: "What."
WENDESDAY: "Prove it." [MUSIC]
"Here."
Bright 4
## 4 1
& 4
q
»118
r
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2 WEDNESDAY:
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Once,
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& # 44
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simile
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Life,
Thought
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less
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we
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hope -
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were one.
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was
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r
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fin'
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ly
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Piano/Vocal
&
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are
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my
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un - done?
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I wan - na
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well
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as
life.
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and
with
my
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I wan - na
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love
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you with
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death
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in
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14
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19. Crazier Than You TOUR [1/14/12]
œœ
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knife.
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17
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But can I
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b œœ œ œœ œ œœ œ œœ œœ œœœ
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Piano/Vocal
# # 18œ
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live
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as
your
tor
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22
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than
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noth - ing up
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'til
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b Œ
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you!
than
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now
proved me
has
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cra - zi - er
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just
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the o
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you.
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25
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than
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I'm
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wife?
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your
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20
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19. Crazier Than You TOUR [1/14/12]
So,
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‰
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–4–
Piano/Vocal
b
&b
&b
b
? bb
28
&
26
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get on
board
Œ
bœ
bœ
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sim
-
#
V # œ
‰.
I'm
ply
move
‰
‰
29
‰
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not
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o
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Ó
that of
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!
30
tru - ly love you.
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I'm
r
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not
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#œ œ #œ
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32
nœ
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But
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in
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this mo
r
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#œ œ #œ
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33
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de - ranged.
r
r
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you.
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ong.
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im - pul - sive.
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r
& # œ œœ n œœ " œœ " œœ " œœ " œœ " œœ ‰
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? ##
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Œ
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# # 31‰
&
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Œ
lo
œ nœ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ .
And yet
r‰
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WEDNESDAY:
r
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I'd ne - ver ask
a
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27
b œœ œœ
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r
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#œ œ
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!
LUCAS:
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"
b œœœ ...
##
##
or
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19. Crazier Than You TOUR [1/14/12]
œœ. œ
Ó
ment
r
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œ
œ nœ
Œ
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"
#œ œ #œ