BOTTLING IT UP: THE NEXT GENERATION
The effects of parental alcohol misuse on children and families
I was trying to be Superwoman and I was too stubborn to ask for
help. I felt I had to be the best mother I could possibly be. I was having two
bottles of white wine a night, then I switched to vodka because people
wouldn’t smell it on me. I’d only drink after I’d put George to bed so on the
outside I appeared to be functioning. Every time I look at him [her son] I
feel guilt- I wasn’t there for him emotionally
Susan*, 35, mother
My daughter knows if I’ve gone on the binge she won’t hear from me.
I’ll get a text saying ‘Are you alright Dad?’ We’ll spend a couple of hours
and a meal together, but that’s not the father/daughter relationship I’d
planned. I expected to be in the family home and she’d come in from school
and we’d live our lives together. There’s regret. I’ve got brothers and a sister
and they’ve got stable relationships with their children. I’d imagined happy
families. If I had my time again, I’d have changed things earlier before the
slippery slope of dependency.
Peter*, 51, father
2.6 million
children are living in the UK with parents who are
drinking hazardously.
¢ Despite the fact that so many children are affected, it remains a hidden problem.
¢ Not given enough attention by successive governments, services for families need to become a priority.
¢ Alcohol misuse is frequently a family secret that remains undisclosed, and children’s voices, all too often, go
unheard.
¢ Turning Point wants policymakers to listen to the voices of children and families affected by alcohol misuse.
Key findings
In 2006, Turning Point published
Bottling it Up, which analysed
the views and perspectives of
parents using our services, and
of their children. The research
found that parental alcohol
misuse has a massive impact on
families.
We have updated this work
to see what has changed. We
have found that some progress
has been made since we first
published Bottling It Up, but
families are still not getting the
support they need.
Bottling it Up: The Next
Generation is based on the
experiences of children and their
parents. Turning Point analysed
anonymous data relating to the
thousands of people who used
our alcohol treatment services in
the last year.
We also surveyed 100 parents
who currently access these
services for alcohol-related issues,
and spoke to other parents in
more depth to gather their views
on how they felt alcohol had
affected their children. Turning
Point conducted interviews with
staff covering their experience of
Children watch (people) much more than they listen. When you think what they’ve seen… there’s
nothing ‘average’ or ‘normal.’ The child of an alcoholic doesn’t ‘fit’- they don’t know how to ‘do life.’
Their schoolwork may suffer especially if they have an alcoholic mother. If she’s comatose on the sofa
then schoolwork isn’t going to get done. Family treatment is vital to prevent the next generation of
addicts. It’s very important for children to forgive or they end up blaming themselves.
Glenda Lee, Turning Point service manager
working with families affected by
alcohol misuse, and undertook a
review of other research in this
area.
The family as a whole
Substance misuse is one of the
areas we work in. Others include
mental health, learning disability and
employment. Between 2010 and
2011, 12,248 people used Turning
Point’s alcohol treatment services
and nearly half (5,326) were parents.
The average alcohol consumption of
the parents we support was 30 units
per day, 24 for mothers and 33 for
fathers. This is the equivalent of 15
glasses or three bottles of wine or
up to 15 pints of beer.
This is well in excess (nearly ten
times) of the limits recommended
by the Department of Health. The
recommended ‘safe’ daily limit for
women is three units and no more
than four for men.
A total of 3,395 children lived with
Turning Point service users, and
these children included their own
and extended family members
such as cousins or nephews. This
highlights the issue that children at
risk include those who are part of
the extended family.
According to our survey of 100
parents who access Turning Point’s
alcohol treatment services, 83%
worried their drinking had impacted
on their children.
Children of parents who drink
heavily often feel confused about
their role within the family, are
isolated from their relatives or other
family members and are seriously
affected by family conflict, domestic
violence, parental separation and
divorce. They often miss out on key
aspects of normal family life, such
as birthday celebrations or family
outings.
Many children say they find it
difficult to make friends and are less
likely to talk to friends about their
problems. The family may also be
affected by financial worries. Where
Our lives where a mess. This women called Suzan came along and helped us a lot. She helped mum
and dad to improve in their drinking and bullying and to stop the loud music. She supported us all and
helped dad to let out steam and talk to people. But she also got me and my brother this special person
to take us out of class to talk to let out steam. (sic)
Allie*, 11, child
I had a sticky divorce then was diagnosed with breast cancer- I went under. I hit the bottle and
was drinking myself into oblivion. It’s a forbidden thing for a mum to be like that. My son, he decided
he was going to turn himself into a parent. My teenage daughter got through her exams but now she’s
suffering panic attacks and anxiety. She’s been traumatised by the whole experience.
Sharon, 48, mother-of-three
a significant amount of the family’s
finances are spent on alcohol, this
often spirals seriously into rising
debt, defaulting on the mortgage
or rent, and fears about losing the
family home. According to our
research, 77% of parents accessing
Turning Point’s alcohol treatment
services said their drinking had
impacted on their finances.
Children’s physical and
mental health.
A child’s physical health can be
affected by a mother drinking during
pregnancy and through neglect in
childhood. Mothers accounted for
more than a third (1,925) of parents
receiving alcohol treatment through
Turning Point over the past year.
In addition, 48 of the women who
used our services were pregnant.
A key issue was that mothers
often felt under pressure to be
‘perfect’ and that alcohol was a
way of coping with the demands
of motherhood. Some said a lack
of support from their partners was
a trigger for their drinking. Others
were drinking at least three nights a
week and consuming more than 70
units - the equivalent of nearly eight
bottles of wine. Their drinking was
often in secret when their children
had gone to bed.
We found that mothers often felt
guilty of ‘emotional’ neglect towards
their children. Our staff found
that mothers who have an alcohol
problem also face far more stigma
than fathers because society sees
them as having the ‘pivotal role’ in
caring for children.
Our staff reported that children’s
mental health can also be
affected. Children sometimes end
up developing eating disorders,
depression and even psychosis in
adulthood.
According to our survey of people
My son was born with kidney failure and had to have a transplant. I love my children but I
couldn’t handle it and left him (his son) when he was three. I still have flashbacks to that day. My
lovely daughter was there on the doorstep saying ‘Don’t go, don’t go.’ They were crying. They didn’t
deserve that. At my peak I was probably on 30 pints and a bottle of Scotch a day. There should be
more counselling for the family. It (drinking) isn’t a career move: I’ve lost good jobs. Alcohol breaks up
families. It’s cost me two marriages and I don’t see the kids because I’ve hurt them so much.
Jake, 48, father-of-three
accessing our alcohol services, over
half of parents (55%) reported their
children experienced high levels of
stress and anxiety as a result of their
drinking; 62% felt their children
were concerned for the parent’s
safety, welfare and health. Such
anxiety can include a preoccupation
their parents might be harmed and
worrying about the family ’secret’
being revealed.
early age. For others, violence and
aggression is learned behaviour
arising from living in a disruptive
household where arguments and
parental conflict are common.
Our staff found that these children
meant their children often either
missed school or found it difficult to
concentrate at school, and had poor
experiences and low aspirations to
succeed. Professionals may often
assume that these children have
A parent’s ability to fulfil
their role
52% of parents we spoke to said
they were unable to provide their
children with adequate care and
support because of their drinking.
47% said their focus was on alcohol
at the expense of parenting. A total
of 45% of the parents we surveyed
said their alcohol misuse had lead
them to spend significant amounts
of time away from their children.
Some children blamed themselves
for their parents’ drinking and for
not keeping the family together.
Children are often concerned that
they might have to leave their mum
or dad. 32% of the parents we
surveyed, thought that their child
ended up taking on the role of carer.
Children’s behaviour
Children are affected by the
unpredictable behaviour of their
parents. More than a quarter of
parents (27%) felt their drinking
increased the risk of their children
developing anti-social behaviour.
For some children, their reaction
to their parents’ drinking had
led to them being caught up in
the criminal justice system at an
negatively on a child's development
and wellbeing, but children often
also show significant levels of
resilience. Many become more
determined to build a positive future
for themselves as a result of their
negative experience.
were more likely to experiment
with drugs and alcohol at an earlier
age, and more likely to progress to
problematic use. For 28% of the
parents we surveyed, their drinking
a high level of understanding of
alcohol misuse, but in fact many
children need more education on
this issue.
Parental alcohol misuse can impact
Children can find themselves taken
into care or looked after by relatives
during this time. In Turning Point’s
alcohol services, 34% of the adults
we surveyed have had their children
taken away from them because
of their drinking. Our staff found
that women in particular fear their
children will be taken into care, and
this is a barrier to them seeking help.
Children may see any separation
as a punishment. They may also
assume parental responsibility in
the household, including carrying
out household chores, caring for
younger siblings and caring for the
parents themselves. This puts an
additional strain on children, affects
their achievement at school and
impacts on their ability to make
friends.
Some parents may try to blame their
children. 26% of those we surveyed
said that at some point they have
seen their children as the reason
why they’ve needed to drink. Some
focus on them as their reason to
change. 43% of the parents we
surveyed have been dealing with
their alcohol problem because they
want to give their children a better
life.
What stops children and
parents getting help?
n The shortage of services. The
number of services has increased
but the level of provision remains
inadequate. Services are often not
available or are temporary.
n Services are usually not working
together. Staff in adult services often
feel ill-equipped to meet the needs
of children of misusing parents. In
children’s services, many staff lack
the knowledge, skills and confidence
to address parents’ alcohol
problems, even when they affect
children. Very few professionals
are confident about addressing the
needs of both children and parents.
n Parents are often reluctant to ask
for help because of a fear of losing
their children and being seen as a
‘bad parent’; the stigma attached to
alcohol misuse; a lack of information
on what services are available; and
underestimating the impact of their
problem.
Key facts and figures
¢ Children who see their parents
drunk are twice as likely to get drunk
themselves. (Source: Joseph Rowntree
Foundation MORI poll, 2011)
¢ The number of hospital admissions related to alcohol
reached 1.06 million in 2009-10 compared with 510,800 in
2002-03. (Source: The NHS Information Centre, 2011)
¢ In 2009/2010, 30% or around 33,000
adults who were undergoing treatment
also had parental responsibility. (Source:
National Alcohol Treatment Monitoring
Service, 2011)
¢ Alcohol causes 8,664 deaths each year
¢ Alcohol or other parental substance
in the UK. This figure excludes cases
where alcohol was an indirect cause
of death. (Source: Office for National
Statistics, 2009)
misuse is evident in 57% of child
protection cases involving either serious
or fatal child abuse. (Source: Department
for Children Schools and Families, 2008)
¢ There are approximately 1.6 million people in England and
Wales who are dependent on alcohol. That means they drink
every day and struggle to control their drinking. (Source:
Department of Health, 2010)
¢ Offenders were under the influence
¢ Up to 2.6 million children are living with parents who are
of alcohol in 37% (more than 360,000)
of all domestic violence cases. (Source:
Home Office: British Crime Survey,
2009/10)
drinking hazardously. 705,000 are living with dependent
drinkers and 3.3 to 3.5m (30% of under 16s) are living with
at least one binge drinking parent. (Source: Journal of Public
Health, Victoria Manning et al, 2009)
Bottling It Up:
The Way Forward
We know that provision of services
for families affected by alcohol
misuse is patchy. This needs
to change. The key also lies in
replicating services that have already
proved effective.
Approaches that Turning
Point has found successful
include:
Family-focused substance misuse
services
There has already been a shift
towards refocusing adult services
so they address the needs of the
whole family. For example, where
funding is available, Turning Point’s
substance misuse services are able to
arrange activity holidays for parents
and their children. This has proved
effective in helping parents and
children rebuild their relationships
and overcome their challenges.
Partnership working
In Oldham, Turning Point works
collaboratively with Action for
Children’s Anti-social Behaviour
Family Intervention Project. The
families who attend the service have
a range of complex needs and a
Turning Point worker is employed
to provide specific support for
substance misuse. It is supported by
Oldham’s Drug and Alcohol Action
Team (DAAT) and this joint working
ensures families’ whole needs are
met.
Home-based services for
families
Turning Point’s Substance Using
Family Support Services (SUFSS)
in Tameside works with families
affected by parental substance
misuse. Mostly delivered within the
family home, the service supports
people to develop appropriate
parenting skills, engage with
substance misuse treatment
services, maintain suitable housing
and ensure children’s well-being is
safeguarded. The service is unique
because it is jointly commissioned
to work across children and
adult services. This means that
professionals are able to identify
better each family’s needs and risks,
reducing the likelihood of issues
within the family home escalating
and harm being caused.
What must be done for
children, parents and families?
use on children and families, backed
up by sufficient resources.
treatment services where resources
are scarce.
n More information directed at
parents and children on the effects
of problem drinking on families, and
where to go for help.
n The needs of children of alcohol
misusers to be prioritised as a
specific group within the wider
children’s agenda.
n Adult services should ensure they
have specific provision to support
parents.
n Screening and early identification
of families who need support
to prevent a new generation of
children at risk.
n Prevention and early intervention
support, including the extension of
antenatal services.
n Support that addresses parenting
difficulties including individual or
group counselling and practical help
in maintaining a home, establishing
routine and boundaries, and
developing support networks.
n The Government and the Welsh
Assembly to place a duty on
local authorities to develop local
strategies on alcohol-misusing
parents and invest more heavily in
specific services. This includes help in
establishing routines to run a home.
n Joined-up support that
encourages discussion and problem
solving within families, and includes
diversionary activities and family
therapy.
n Residential treatment and
rehabilitation services which enable
children to stay with parents in a
supportive environment.
Our recommendations:
n A cross-government strategy to
tackle the impact of parental alcohol
n More information should be made
available to help children of alcohol
dependent parents.
n More research into the number
of children affected and to inform
the development of services to help
these children and troubled families.
n Adult services should ensure
they assess the potential impact
of alcohol on clients’ children.
Children’s services should have
clear protocols to support the early
identification of alcohol-misusing
parents and their children.
n All professionals working with
adult alcohol misusers should
be trained in supporting people
to develop parenting skills and
supporting children living with
parents that misuse alcohol.
n Parents and children must
have a say in the planning and
commissioning of services.
n Better liaison needed between
adult and child services, and
between different providers.
Conclusion
This report must act as the process for change. We need to
understand the true scale of the problem. We need more
services to meet the needs of parents to prevent a new
generation of children at risk of poor mental health, drug
and alcohol addictions, truancy and worse. We need better
information for children, parents and services so that they
The report also contains a
number of recommendations
for services:
can provide more support. There are far too many children
n Integration of family and
parenting specialists into existing
families to remain unheard and forgotten.
affected by their parents’ use of alcohol in this country. We
cannot let them down. We cannot allow the voices of these
© Turning Point 2011
*Some names have been changed
For more information:
Turning Point
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21 Mansell Street
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E1 8AA
Tel: 020 7481 7600
Email: info@turning-point.co.uk
www.turning-point.co.uk
Turning Point is a leading health and social care organisation. We provide services for people with complex needs,
including those affected by drug and alcohol misuse, mental health problems and those with a learning disability.
Turning Point is a registered charity number 234887 a registered social landlord and a company limited by guarantee no. 793558 (England & Wales).
Registered office: Standon House, 21 Mansell Street, London E1 8AA