Tenderly
They were to have stayed at this campsite just one night. It was a cosy place, a safe little
meadow, sheltered by a cliff from the north, surrounded by pine-trees. A stream ran a few
yards from there, providing them with clear water. During the night, while they slept, their
horses disappeared. This had never happened before, so at first they thought the horses had
only strayed. After looking for them for quite some time however, they suspected thieves.
When searching for the horses on a hillside she sprained her ankle. She slid on a cob, badly
hurting her leg. He took her back to the camp in his arms. By good fortune they had
everything there and they were safe.
He laid her next to the fire, wetting his spare shirt at the stream to make a cold pack for her
ankle. The village was a day’s ride from there, and it would take another day to get back. She
did not want to be alone for so long, so they decided to wait for the men coming after them.
However, something must have happened down in the village, or the men had delayed setting
out.
’’They must be here by tomorrow,’’ she said.
’’If they do not come, I will have to go for help,’’ he said. ’’ We cannot stay here forever.’’
At dusk he escorted her to the stream to have a wash, then went far from there, so as not to see
her naked body, even by chance.
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In the evening they were sitting over the fire. The fire-light glinted on their faces, giving them
gilded masks, and they somehow found their tongues. He was known as a man of few words.
Now he was talking endlessly. She was amused by it, and also enjoyed having his ears.
At night they slept next to the fire. He drew away from her the first night.
’’Come here beside me,’’ she called. ’’You will perish from the cold. We can keep each other
warm.’’
He laid down behind her, spreading the blankets on both of them. They hardly touched each
other. It was she who pressed her back close to him. She moved clumsily because of her bad
leg, trying to keep it still. The man had made a brace for it from a piece of wood to help keep
it motionless.
The first time they lay beside one another, he spent the whole night awake, listening to her
breath, dreaming about some other time, some other place, in another life where they are
laying in a white linen bed, in their own house, and people know them. Any time they walk
out, people greet them. ’Good morning, Mr and Mrs Wells!’
On the second night he had a lump in his throat and his throbbing heart kept him awake until
dawn. It was an unrestful night for him -- saturated with an odd mixture of happiness and
anguish. ’Johan, always Johan,’ he simmered. ’Johan wants this, Johan wants that. Johan and
I are getting married this year… This guy was never at home, that is why she had to come for
the herd. Men’s work, though.’
When asleep, she was looking for the warmth of his body. She nestled to him instinctively,
and he held her. This time he dared to take a whiff at her hair, breathing in her fragrance, and
curled his body round her, like the crescent moon around a piece of dark blue sky.
2
She woke up early, with the man’s arm around her, even his left leg across hers. The sun was
coming up over the hills in the sharp chill of the morning, the air was soaking wet with dew.
Gently she tried to wake him up to get out of his clench. ’’Let me,’’ she whispered.
He was startled out of his harassed sleep, with the tenseness of the nights past, and instead of
letting her go, he tightened his grip. Overtaken by lust, he rolled between her legs, unbelted
his trousers with a single move. Now she realized what was happening.
’’Jack! What are you doing, Jack!?’’
She had no chance to escape, his physical strength was obvious. He threw himself onto her
slim body, pressing her to the ground and pulled down her pants.
’’Jack, please…’’
He buried his face into her neck, hardly aware of himself, however, still taking care of her
ankle, not to press upon it. It was amazingly easy to penetrate. He felt her gasping under him,
like a dickey-bird, when he trembled and groaned after a few moves. She was silent and
motionless. He touched her face and felt her tears.
He released her, and without looking at her, pulled up his pants and stood up. He took his gun
from the ground and ran to the woods.
She was lying on the ground for a while, wiping the tears from her face with the back of her
hand. Slowly she pulled up her pants, then put some wood on the fire from the stack Jack had
piled up the day before. She did not know if he would come back. „If he does not return by
nightfall, he will have surely gone down to the village,” she thought.
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They arrived earlier than she expected. Jack told them exactly where to find her and one of
them brought her back to the village on horseback while the others continued on their way
after the herd.
*
He entered the room.
The blind was down because of the heat outside and the sunshine was leaking through the
slots of the blind in thin stripes. She, wearing a white linen dress, was standing next to the
bed.
They stood staring at each other.
He closed the door. His throat was dry, he was breathing hard.
He gazed upon her despairingly. He did not want her to be afraid of him.
He had no need for concern, however – she was relaxed. Slowly she raised her hand and
unbuttoned the upper part of her dress, uncovering the delicate pale skin of her neck. He
stepped forward. Never moving his eyes from hers, he took off his shirt and trousers. He
wanted to have nothing on, as though trying to testify he was unarmed.
He stood there naked with his muscles tightening on his arm as he clenched his fist.
Gently he stepped closer and continued unbuttoning her white dress. He was heavy-handed
and awkward with the small buttons, but she did not move. He smoothened the clothes off
her.
He wanted to do it right. He wanted to show, that this was the real him, that he could be
gentle.
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He embraced her only when they both were naked. He pulled her to his chest and buried his
face into her hair. Trembling, he inhaled its scent, then kissed it again and again. Then lower,
on her forehead, on her cheeks. He kissed her neck, her small, white bosom. He knelt down
and pressed his face against her soft belly, breathing in her deepest fragrance. He started
sobbing at last.
She raised him up, he kissed her, desperately, thirstily, and she gave him everything. He did
not have to steal anything away, since he had had it all for a long time.
The sun ribboned their skin as they lay entwined on the white linen bed.
’’Johan? ’’he asked with a stifled voice.
’’He’s gone. He’s been gone for a month. I’ve told him.’’
’’Because of me?’’
’’Because of us. I’m expecting a baby from you.’’
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