Scribe Report 1659 – December 21st 2015
The Christmas Run
Next Run 1660 – December 28th 2015
New Year’s Run
125 Hashers this week!
Hares: Odd-Job and Liberace
Scribe by: Lady Flipper
There is a first time for everything as they say and so after over 632 runs I sit
down to pen my very first scribe. Being born in Chiang Mai, I of course speak Thai
and Lat and having lived in England for 18 years I am of course now fluent in
Hindi, Gujarati, Arabic, Turkish, Polish, Greek, Maltese, Swahili and of course the
sometimes heard language of English. Therefore I need no help from anyone
recalling in print the days events.
Obviously due to the religious beliefs of my husband we never actually celebrated
Christmas as such, we simply went to SFW‘s warehouse and looked at the empty
shelves, so many of the seasonal customs remain a mystery to me. I was going to
do the whole scribe to the carol of “The Twelve Days of Christmas” but
someone would doubtless whine like the proverbial stuck cow, no pigs on our
Christmas table, and bearing in mind I was the first lady runner on the PH3 to ever
reach 500 runs (if you classify SIR FOSSIL as of the female gender please do not
stand behind me in the supermarket queue) so drawing on my vast experience
over the last 15 years, here goes.
We arrived at the A-Site in good time find the first of the Norwegian hares,
LIBERACE, already sitting on the A-Site eagerly anticipating the onslaught of the
masses. His erstwhile partner for the day, not to say life rumour has it, ODD-JOB
appears out of the bushes like some modern day Norgy David Bellamy seemingly
supremely confident in his own abilities as a hare.
In total 125 hashers duly turned up for the annual PH3 Christmas Run.
Noticeable in the circle was the table of presents for distribution from Santa later.
First circle called and new shoes and virgins are dealt with.. The hares explain the
run and it is off into familiar territory for what we know will be a good run..
Therefore I have no need to go myself. Upon returning the satisfied runners inform
us the run was under seven kilometres long with the usual excellent scenery we
have come to expect from this particular favourite area.
Winding down time and the hares LIBERACE and ODD-JOB have laid on mulled
wine. When this PH3 tradition started a few years ago SEAMAN STAINS used to
make it stirring the vat with his bare arm… Botulism at Christmas, how quaint..
Then BOTTOMLESS took it over and it became known as German ‘Glue
Wine‘…… now the Norwegians are in charge it is known at Gløgg…. and jolly
nice and popular it proved… so much so that SCAR W\2T’S seemed to drink half
of it himself.
As promised the San Miguel Girls did turn up and I personally gave them five
Christmas hats to wear to make them look more in keeping with the day. Soon the
Thai versions of Bet Lynch only not so buxom were distributing lashings of both
versions of San Miguel to thirsty runners and picnickers alike. A couple of boxes
of chocolate liqueurs were doing the rounds also eagerly devoured by the girls.
Finally it is circle time and the hares are iced with as much tradition as we hold
Christmas in. It was agreed by all that the run and so far more so,the day itself had
been the anticipated success. I do know my husband tutored the hares in the
amended LBJ quote “When you have got them pissed and fed… their hearts
and minds always follow”.
A-Site Mis-Directions:
From Pattaya Klang, head North and take the flyover to Hwy 7.
After about 9 km, exit Hwy 7 at Hwy 36 towards Rayong. Keep
left on the entry ramp and do not join Hwy 36 but after 1.2 km
turn left onto the 3240 heading towards Khao Mai Kaew.
Continue on the 3240 for 6.3 km and turn left (HHH) just past a
row of shop houses. Follow the road all the way up the hill
(700m) and at the lake turn left onto the causeway. The A-Site
is on the right on the other side of the lake (400m).
Raffle time and the increased value prizes were won by a variety of regular
hasher’s such as BLUE SKY as well as visitors and virgins making the goodies
go around nicely.
The is the time for Santa to make his yearly appearance from the North Pole,
usually more commonly known as the T.Q.. This year he had two elves with
him in the form of LOST CAUSE and BLUE SKY. Unfortunately because
Santa had been sucking on the shisha up to a minute or two prior to the circle,
his elves had not been given his magical sack to put the presents in. All the
presents were still on the display table.. What to do children.?????
The GM NO MORE CUM comes to the rescue and asks anyone under the age
of 25 to come to the present table which turned out to be a bigger mistake than
Hitler stopping to take a dump a at Dunkirk. Unfortunately,a couple of the
naughty girls told bloody great ‘porky pies’, that means lies, I speak cockney as
well, and as one, then two, then three and then half of Buriram not to mention
Cubic Bay encompassed the circle and with Santa looking on smiling from
under his beard, the GM as well as the elves battled to keep the throng from
storming the Winter Palace. Thankfully,order was restored and Santa duly
gave out a couple of prizes before the feral motley retreated to the safety of
edge of the circle.
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Pattaya Hash House Harriers – Run 1659 – December 21st 2015 – The Christmas Run
Pattaya Hash House Harriers – About Us
--- PICKUP POINT -–
Buffalo Bar – Pattaya 3rd Road near Soi Lengke
Every Monday at 3:15.
The Bus leaves at 3:30 promptly.
Run Prices: Male 350B, Female 150B, Children 50B
Please visit our web site www.pattayah3.com
Future Hares, call Hare Raiser Sir Free Willy, 09 90 124 393 On On
Run# Date
Hares 1660
1661
1662*
1663
Dec 30
Jan 4
Jan 11
Jan 18
New Year’s Run
Beverley Hills Pink Cock and Steptoe
Sir Free Willy and Lady Flippee
M&M Disorders, Rear Gunner & Pinkaboo
Nicky’s
TQ
Jameson’s
Boom GH
If you want to be a hare but not sure how, contact Hare Raiser and we can help
you partner with an experienced hare. Enjoy a great part of hashing – Hare a run!
* Map needed
Hashers Present Previous Week – 64
3 Tor-hugo Antonsen; 3 Philip Jackson; 3 Palin Pronprong; 129 ANTIQUE; 32 BAHT BUS GESTAPO; 537 BALL RINGER; 26 BLUE SKY; 2 BOW TIE; 52 BURL
IVES; 214 CHEAP NORGY CUNT; 47 CRAPPER; 15 CROW FUCKER; 1333 EMPEROR AIRHEAD; 21 FUNNY BUNNY; 570 G.I. JOE; 720 GENERAL KIDNEY
WIPER; 282 GERMAN SHEPHERD; 66 GOLDEN DILDO; 38 GOLDEN RIVET; 100 HELIUM HEAD; 41 IM LAO; 52 JINGLE BALLS; 36 KAMOY KATOY; 216 KEE
MAH; 116 KNOB MARLEY; 632 LADY FLIPPER; 23 LADY SNAKE; 278 LIBERACE; 76 LITTLE WHITE DOVE; 381 LONE WOLF; 70 LOST CAUSE; 30 LOVE BOAT;
9 MANGO MUNCHER; 50 MASTER CHEF; 108 MENSTRUAL DISORDER; 127 MENTAL DISORDER; 49 MISUSE ME; 684 MRS. HEAD; 59 MY GIRLFRIEND
KNOWS I'M GAY; 126 NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER; 175 NO MORE CUM; 367 ODD-JOB; 94 PAPRIKA SMILEY; 310 PELER; 100 POCAHONTAS; 16 POCKET
SOCKET; 195 ROBBING BASTARD; 123 RUNNING BARE; 220 SCAR W/2TS; 49 SHIT ON MY SHIRT; 624 SIR ARSE-A-HOLIC; 654 SIR FREE WILLY; 654 SIR
REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD; 820 SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD; 212 SKIING FINN; 39 SLACK VAGINA; 63 SPANKINSTEIN; 105 SPECIAL PRICE; 386 SQUEEZE MY
TUBE; 391 TAMPAX; 133 TINY ANAL TORPEDO; 145 TWO TIME; 753 VIETNAMESE VIOLATOR; 260 WANK-KING'S WANKER
Returners – 37
5 Henrik Hossmann; 4 Victoria Nagy; 2 Sharron Normanton; 2 Jeremy Normanton; 2 Oddarne Soerensen; 2 Didrik Stobakk; 215 1/4 POUNDER WITH CHEESE; 103
B. B.; 34 BEETROOT HEAD; 329 BELL END; 67 BEN 10; 192 BILLION SUCKER; 28 CASPAR; 108 CROCODILE; 102 DIRTY HARRY; 227 GANGREEN; 3
HARRY'S PINK CAMEL; 189 KILL BENNY; 22 KUNG FU QUEEN; 4 LESBIAN FENIAN BASTARD; 85 LITTLE TOMMY TWO LIPS; 7 MENTAL TAMPAX; 84 MUD
CRACKER; 32 MUD'S CRACKER; 92 NO TRUCKING IDEA; 296 PIG PUSHER SWINE STABBER; 150 PINKABOO; 29 POL DANCER; 140 RATSO-EEL-SNIFFER;
234 REAR GUNNER; 10 ROCKY BALBLOWME; 170 RUBBER DICK; 53 SPERM POLLUTER; 355 STINKY SLOPPY SECONDS; 26 SUGAR DADDY; 57
TESTICLES; 196 TRY-A-FUCK
Visitors (PH3 Total Runs) – 10
7 Mark Stoker - Dubai Hash, UAE
1 KUMQUAT MAY - Hong Kong Hash, HK, China
1 Bernard Baillet - Pattaya Jungle Hash, Thailand
3 Thawanrat Paowana - Pattaya Jungle Hash, Thailand
18 ZENERGY - Pattaya Jungle Irregular Lunar Hash, Thailand
2 BOW TIE - Hastings Hash, UK
2 SHIT HOUSE - Hong Kong Hash, HK, China
3 Theerapat Paowana - Pattaya Jungle Hash, Thailand
3 NEMO - Pattaya Jungle Hash, Thailand
1 FORREST HUMP - Unknown Hash
Virgins – 15
Patrick Becu; Mint Becu; Lynn Brewster; Tannia Collier; Leif Hausmann; Anton Holbaek; Christian Hossmann; Christian Hossmann jr; Ragna Hovik; Nika Marlow;
Nicole Marlow; Victoria Soerensen; Attalaso Soos; Marianna Vass; Attila Wis
Anniversaries - 4
PINKABOO was congratulated on completing her 150th Run
POCAHONTAS was congratulated on completing her 100th Run
HELIUM HEAD was congratulated on completing his 100th Run
MASTER CHEF was congratulated on completing her 50th Run.
Hash Name Events - 1
FENIAN BASTARD was renamed LESBIAN FENIAN BASTARD.
Birthdays – 1
Happy Birthday REAR GUNNER - 23 December
Walter Peters was given the New Hash Name FORREST HUMP.
Happy Birthday BAHT BUS GESTAPO - 24 December
Happy Birthday TWO TIME - 21 December.
EMPEROR AIRHEAD takes the circle to ice the hares and to thank them once
more for a good run and day. A Swedish visiting crack is called in as she
recently came seven in the world karate championship.
TOMMY TWO LIPS and FENIAN BASTARD again as well as BEETROOT HEAD
to tell everyone they are all from his own neck of the woods….. what
Heidelberg?… Two confused GM‘s on the trot, whatever next?
Stats time and WANK-KING’S W–NKER calls in the following venerated
hashers for their respective milestone: MASTER CHEF – 50 Runs; HELIUM
HEAD – 100 Runs; PINKABOO – 150 Runs; POCAHONTAS – 100 Runs.
Well done. True and loyal hashers all.
GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER and his assistant 1/4 POUNDER WITH CHEESE
enter the fray as FENIAN BASTARD has asked to be renamed…. proving you
sometimes get what you pray for he is duly renamed LESBIAN FENIAN
BASTARD .
The GM, NO MORE CUM takes the circle to ice as many Norwegians as
possible over the latest report that Norway is the best place in the world to
live.. If that fact is so, then why are there more Norgy’s residing in Pattaya
than in Oslo?
Returners brought in and kept there while the Hash Hymn is strangled then the
party continues back at the Boomerang Guest House which I will assume in
persona absentia was the usual hearty welcome.
Despite hiccups an excellent day well worthy of the best Hash in Asia. Well
the done the hares, well done the mis-management, well done all.. Truly we are
the chosen people.
LITTLE TOMMY TWO LIPS and FENIAN BASTARD get iced for frequenting
the Billion Bar, Soi 6 and Kathoey hangouts instead of being at the Hash.
The hares have arranged a special hare song flying over from Norway a world
famous accordion player called Od, who has won two Grammy’s…. or
maybe he has shagged two grannies, one of the two..
He teams up with TAMPAX to make a new musical combo of Od and Odder,
to sing the accordion version of Jingle Bells.. Variety is he spice of life and I
must say they made a welcome change from the usual lame ass songs
revolving around knobs, knockers and anal penetration.
If I have forgotten anyone my apologies. Faces and Fannies I never forget. But
names are for tombstones.
On-On ! Lady Flipper
The GM, NO MORE CUM….. ventures back into the circle to ice LITTLE
Next Week’s Scribe is Lady Flipper
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