Resolving Neighborhood Conflict and Creating Social Capital through Communication
We all have “That Neighbor.” That neighbor with the unkempt landscaping. That neighbor with the unruly children. That neighbor that should really powerwash their siding. In today’s society, it is easy for us to point out (and
even register a formal complaint of) the flaws in others without truly understanding the root cause of the problem.
There are also those exceptional people who, when faced with neighborhood conflict or apparent civic disobedience,
simply ask “Why?” and take action.
Here are scenarios of times where solutions were found and connections were made because neighbors dug a
little deeper, became a bit more inquisitive and showed care for the people in their neighborhood.
“That neighbor with the knee-high grass”
For the past week, Tom noticed the house on the corner’s grass growing. There was a lot of rain lately, but what
were a few dandelions just a few days ago, now looks more like a cow pasture. Last night, Neighbors were posting
on the Nextdoor page about how to file a complaint with the City Codes Office because the home’s grass was out
of control. Tom cut into the conversation and said, “Don’t worry, I will handle it.”
The next week Miss Jenkins stopped Tom during his walk
and thanked him for contacting the City about the violation.
In a calm, yet very passionate manner, Tom said “I didn’t
call the City” and told the story of Daisy.
What looked like a codes violation to the outsider was the
story of a military spouse doing her best to carry the load of
two young boys, one dog, college courses and all the
household duties. Daisy’s husband is serving in Afghanistan
and forgot to empty the old gasoline from the mower before
he deployed and consequently, the mower wouldn’t start.
Because Tom took the time to chat with Daisy, he was able
to help repair the lawn mower and, though she declined,
offered to cut the grass. The two have become fast-friends
and now Tom and his wife have had Daisy and the boys
over for dinner twice.
“That neighbor running a smelly loud generator all night long for days”
Marcy is a newly elected neighborhood watch coordinator. While she was out raking leaves, she heard the
sound of a motor running but thought little of it as many of her neighbors were out doing yard work. Later
that evening, Marcy received a call from one of her block captains asking if she would call the police and report a neighbor from one block over for a noise violation. The neighbor was tired of listening to and smelling
the fumes of the generator that had been running continuously for a few days. Marcy asked the block captain
to be patient and that she would stop by tomorrow to see what was going on.
The next day Marcy knocked on the door but no one answered. Though she was concerned, Marcy wanted to
avoid calling her friends in the police department until she felt it was absolutely necessary. She knew the family had young kids and decided to walk her dog around the block when school let out in hopes of catching the
family.
Marcy’s plan worked. The school aged son wanted to play with her friendly Chocolate Labrador. Frank, their father, came up anxiously apologizing for the excitement of his son. When the short attention span of the
child took him from playing with the dog, to a basketball game in an opposing driveway, Marcy brought up the subject of the generator. Frank,
clearly embarrassed, told Marcy that he had been recently laid off from his
job and his electricity had been turned off and would remain off until his
wife’s next pay day. The generator was the only thing keeping what was
left of the food in their refrigerator from spoiling. Marcy wasn’t expecting his honesty but offered to help Frank find assistance through some of
the resources offered at her church. He agreed and quiet was soon restored to the neighborhood.
“That neighbor that leaves their garbage can out on the street till Sunday”
Jamie and Pat are always out doing yard work, walking their dog, or just chatting up passers-by. If anything is going on in their neighborhood, they’re the
ones who know about it first. The latest gossip on the street was about the
new neighbors at the end of the cul-du-sac. Lately, the garbage can had been
left out for one or two days after trash pickup. Now, when almost a week had
passed and no one had brought the can in, Jamie decided to take a walk to find
out what was going on.
Jamie first brought the cans up the driveway, and then rang the doorbell. An
older woman answered from behind a locked door. They introduced themselves to one another and the woman, Luna, hesitantly opened the door to her neighbor. Jamie noticed that this older woman appeared tired and to be having an emotional day. Jamie simply stated the purpose of the unexpected interruption was to bring her garbage cans up and make friendly introductions.
Luna looked up to Jamie, with tears in her eyes, and said “Cliff usually does that. I can get it down the driveway
but it’s too heavy for me to wheel up.” The two sat on the front porch and
Jamie heard the story of how Luna and Cliff had recently retired to Virginia
Beach because they loved the boardwalk and mild climate. Then how
shortly there after Cliff was diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer.
One week he was fine, the next he is spending most nights at the hospital.
It has now been a few months since Jamie met Luna and Cliff’s health continues to decline.
Jamie and Pat now make it a point to take Luna’s cans up and down the
driveway and check in on her each time they do so. Other neighbors have
volunteered to help out with yard work and stopping by to just visit.
These are just a few of the stories shared by
neighbors just like you and me. People who
see beyond the surface of unsightly landscaping or chipped paint and ask “WHY?”
Let’s be honest, there is no excuse for neighbors who leave dog poop un-scooped, play
loud music at 3am on a school night, or
dump grass clippings down the storm drain;
but in general, we’d all like to believe that
most of us are considerate and caring individuals, who take pride in our neighborhoods, some with better circumstances than
others.
So here is a call to action. If you see something out of the ordinary or something that
on the surface may seem like a code violation or a neighborhood disturbance, ask
yourself, “WHY?” You might be surprised
to know that a simple question can make all
the difference.