Funny Things at Jummah
Isn't it amazing what people do during Jummah?
Like reading newspapers.
Yeah, like reading newspapers.
Some people even pass out pictures.
Ha ha ha ha. Is this you?
Some people even sleep during Jummah.
But can you blame them? The khutbahs are sometimes very boring.
Very broing.
It's not always thier fault sometimes the khateeb needs some tips so today
we are gonna give some khateebs some tips. So here it goes.
If there's one thing that we need to remember is that...(mobile rings in
background)...is this me?
Where's the khateeb?
The companions of the prophet...(Do you guys wanna get some food after
Jummah)...yes the companions of the prophet, they used to...(yeah sounds
cool, sounds good)
Did you know you can't even talk during the khutba?
Are you serious?
Yep. You can't talk you can't even tell someone to be quiet during the
khutba.
I can't even tell them to be quiet?
That counts as talking.
What is the brother says Asalaamu alaikum to me?
You can't return his salaams.
Can I tell him to be quiet?
No.
I guess that's good to know.
My dear respected brothers and sisters in Islam. The exciting events in the
Battle of Badr happened...
It looks like we are running out of time...I know it's close to 2 o'clock I
know must of you have to go back to work but this is a very interesting
topic so please brothers give me another 20 minutes so I can explain it
further detail.
Ah dude that's just wrong.
The angels sit at the doors of the Masjid with scrolls and they write the
names of the people who enter. And when the athaan is read they roll up
their scrolls and they go listen to the khutba.
Man. I need to start coming in early. I keep getting stuck with these cheap
seats in the back. Plus I need that extra reward for coming in early.
There was a time...where...many...of those...who...
This is so frustrating. Please let it out.
...have...
If you don't know how to make wudu and your read Jummah then we have a
problem.
You mean there are people here at Jummah and they don't know how to make wudu?
Apparently so. This is why we have so many Khutbahs about wudu. Or we don't
have other issues to talk about.
We got other issues to talk about.
So spice up the Khutbah. Let's talk about issues that are relevant.
Like what?
Like marraige.
That's what I'm talking about.
You know what I'm saying?
So I hope these simple tips have helped you. Atleast have a remainder of
certain things that goes through people's heads that are not the khateebs.
We kinda ran out of tape, we kinda ran out of time and we're pretty much
done so inshallah please take the tips. Jazakhallah khair for listening.
This is Ali reminding you just in case you forgot. Asalaamu alaikum.
Funny Things at Jummah
Isn't it amazing what people do during Jummah?
Like reading newspapers.
Yeah, like reading newspapers.
Some people even pass out pictures.
Ha ha ha ha. Is this you?
Some people even sleep during Jummah.
But can you blame them? The khutbahs are sometimes very boring.
Very broing.
It's not always thier fault sometimes the khateeb needs some tips so today
we are gonna give some khateebs some tips. So here it goes.
If there's one thing that we need to remember is that...(mobile rings in
background)...is this me?
Where's the khateeb?
The companions of the prophet...(Do you guys wanna get some food after
Jummah)...yes the companions of the prophet, they used to...(yeah sounds
cool, sounds good)
Did you know you can't even talk during the khutba?
Are you serious?
Yep. You can't talk you can't even tell someone to be quiet during the
khutba.
I can't even tell them to be quiet?
That counts as talking.
What is the brother says Asalaamu alaikum to me?
You can't return his salaams.
Can I tell him to be quiet?
No.
I guess that's good to know.
My dear respected brothers and sisters in Islam. The exciting events in the
Battle of Badr happened...
It looks like we are running out of time...I know it's close to 2 o'clock I
know must of you have to go back to work but this is a very interesting
topic so please brothers give me another 20 minutes so I can explain it
further detail.
Ah dude that's just wrong.
The angels sit at the doors of the Masjid with scrolls and they write the
names of the people who enter. And when the athaan is read they roll up
their scrolls and they go listen to the khutba.
Man. I need to start coming in early. I keep getting stuck with these cheap
seats in the back. Plus I need that extra reward for coming in early.
There was a time...where...many...of those...who...
This is so frustrating. Please let it out.
...have...
If you don't know how to make wudu and your read Jummah then we have a
problem.
You mean there are people here at Jummah and they don't know how to make wudu?
Apparently so. This is why we have so many Khutbahs about wudu. Or we don't
have other issues to talk about.
We got other issues to talk about.
So spice up the Khutbah. Let's talk about issues that are relevant.
Like what?
Like marraige.
That's what I'm talking about.
You know what I'm saying?
So I hope these simple tips have helped you. Atleast have a remainder of
certain things that goes through people's heads that are not the khateebs.
We kinda ran out of tape, we kinda ran out of time and we're pretty much
done so inshallah please take the tips. Jazakhallah khair for listening.
This is Ali reminding you just in case you forgot. Asalaamu alaikum.