2011.04.13
Block A
Jerica Y, Kevin L, Lauren K, Sangheon C.
School Survival Guide for Nerds
Theatre II Radio Play Script
Characters:
Host / Narrator: Lauren
Nerd Host / Narrator: Jerica
Nerd: Kevin
Girl, Jock, Friend: Sangheon
1. Sound: School bell (1X)
2. Nerd: *Sigh*
3. Music: A calm song, duck for voices
4. Narrator: Welcome nerds and nerds! Today I’ll be offering some essential tips for you
nerds to survive in high school. We’re very tight on time, but we will still tell you four
most important tips.
5. N.N.: Follow these simple tips and you’ll have a normal life in high school like me in
no time!
6. Music: transition song, bright melody
7. Narrator: Let’s begin. Tip number one! How to make friends in a normal manner. Talk
to other students around you. Although you are tempted, avoid talking about GAMES!
8. N.N.: I know how hard it is! I used to talk about games only too. But now, instead, try
talking about things like the latest music trend. Here is a DON’T.
9. Sound: dun dun dun (X1)
10. Nerd: Howdydo!
11. Kid: Hey new student! How are you adjusting to the school?
12. Nerd: Good, anyways, do you know what I achieved last night? I played Devil
Dungeon Warriors last night and got ALL the way to level 8! I FINALLY opened the
enchanted gate and managed to...
2011.04.13
Block A
Jerica Y, Kevin L, Lauren K, Sangheon C.
13. Kid: Um.. yea.. that sounds great. OH, look at the time! I gotta go to the next class...
Bye.
14. Sound: buzzer sound (X1)
15. Narrator: See, talking about games is a terrible choice especially when you are
trying to make new friends. They WILL avoid you.
16. N.N.: Trust me. If people get the first impression that you ONLY love games, then
you can be mistaken as a LONER who stays at home playing games 24/7. Even if you
are, we’re here to help you get friends! Now here is a DO.
17. Sound: happy chime (X1)
18. Nerd: Howdydo!
19. Kid: Hey, you’re the new kid, right?
20. Music: faint music in the background
21. Nerd: I sure am! Wait, by golly gee wheez! Is that E.T. by Katy Perry?
22. Kid: Yeah, it is! You know this too?
23. Nerd: Psh, who DOESN’T know this song? It’s great!
24. Kid: Yeah, it is, right? Haha... Hey, come eat lunch with us!
25. Nerd: Gee, really? Ok!
26. Sound: children cheering (X1)
27. Narrator: See how normally everything went? No one ran away from you. Just follow
this first tip and you’ll be able to make new friends in an instant. Now let’s move on to tip
2. How to get a girl! Try taking your shirt out of your pants for once, and spend more
time on your looks!
28. N.N.: And, it’s also a better idea to spend your money on new clothes and stylish
accessories, rather than on new textbook editions or calculators you already have.
Here’s a bad example.
29. Sound: dun dun dun (X1)
30. Nerd: Ooh, she’s SO pretty... I wonder if she will go out with me.. I will do her
homework and take notes for her everyday! Why hello there...
2011.04.13
Block A
Jerica Y, Kevin L, Lauren K, Sangheon C.
31. Girl: Um... Hi... Can I help you with something..?
32. Nerd: Yeah, ehehe, I was just wondering. Do you want to... you know, go on a date
with me? I’d love to do all your homework for you!
33. Girl: Eek.... Um... Listen.. You’re really NOT my type. I’d do something about those
glasses of yours first. So NERDY. And is that your shirt? In your pants? Gross, untuck
them, PLEASE.
34. Nerd: No, wait! You don’t know anything about style! Come back!
35. Sound: buzzer sound (X1)
36. Narrator: Now... I think we can agree that things didn’t go so well. If you don’t work
on your clothes and style, then not a single girl will fall for you. So, it’s time you do the
right thing, and get it to go down like this.
37. Sound: happy chime (X1)
38. Nerd: Ooh, she’s SO pretty... I wonder if she will go out with me.. I will do her
homework and take notes for her everyday! Why hello there...
39. Girl: Oh my gosh? Is that really you? I didn’t recognize!
40. Nerd: *in manly voice* Well, I DID change a bit, right?
41. Girl: Yeah, I mean you look.... different, and... nice! I really like how you got rid of
your glasses and didn’t tuck in your shirt. Do you want to go out with me?
42. Nerd: Oh my my my! Well... Sure. Okay.
43. Sound: children cheering (X1)
44. N.N.: I remember when that happened to me! I couldn’t believe it! I was so happy.
45. Narrator: Following our tip will get you into glorious moments. Sounds great, doesn’t
it? Now, tip number three! How to socialize. Get yourself a Facebook account you
should already have. Also get an iChat, Skype, and MSN messenger!
46. N.N.: Oh, and when you start a chat with a person, don’t be boring and talk about
studying. When I did that, everyone avoided me even online. Here’s a DON’T.
47. Sound: dun dun dun (X1)
48. Sound: Skype log-in sound
2011.04.13
Block A
Jerica Y, Kevin L, Lauren K, Sangheon C.
49. Nerd: Hm... Who should I talk to... Aha! Michael from Chemistry class.
50. Sound: keyboard sound as nerd types (X1)
51. Nerd: Why.. Hello.. There.
52. Sound: incoming message sound (X1)
53. Michael: Hi!
54, Sound: keyboard sound as nerd types (X1)
55. Nerd: Did you finish that lab write-up for Chemistry?
56. Sound: logging-off sound (X1)
57. Nerd: Michael has logged off?! What?! WHY?! Wait, did he block me?!
58. Sound: buzzer sound (X1)
59. Narrator: As you can see, the moment you mention ANYTHING about school, you
will become a friend repellent. Talking about school in a POSITIVE way is the LAST
thing you want to do. Instead, try something more like this.
60. Sound: happy chime (X1)
61. Sound: Skype log-in sound (X1)
62. Nerd: Hm... Who should I talk to... Aha! Michael from Chemistry class.
63. Sound: keyboard sound as nerd types (X1)
64. Nerd: Why.. Hello.. There.
65. Sound: incoming message sound (X1)
66. Michael: Hi!
67. Sound: keyboard sound as nerd types (X1)
68. Nerd: Man, today’s P.E. class was so tiring, wasn’t it? I think the teacher’s a maniac
or something.
69. Sound: incoming message sound (X1)
2011.04.13
Block A
Jerica Y, Kevin L, Lauren K, Sangheon C.
70. Michael: Yeah, I know, right? He’s so weird. I’m glad I’m not the only one who thinks
that way. I just wanted to play tennis for fun!
71. Sound: keyboard sound as nerd types (X1)
72. Nerd: I know, it was hard to have fun in P.E. today.
73. Sound: incoming message sound (X1)
74. Michael: Hey, do you want to meet after school tomorrow and just play for fun?
75. Nerd: What? He’s inviting me? Oh gee willikers!
76. Sound: children cheering (X1)
77. Narrator: Talking about something that you and the person have in common may be
helpful as well. Now we’re on to our last tip! Tip number four! How to deal with bullies.
Get yourself a shield! When all else fails and you lose hope entirely, it’s time to get
yourself something... or SOMEONE that will help you out.
78. N.N.: And to do that, all you have to do is simply get a person you don’t really care
about. Get one of your only friends and always stay with him or her. When the bully
shows up, this is something you SHOULDN’T do.
79. Sound: dun dun dun (X1)
80. Jock: Hey nerd. Come here.
81. Music: eerie music, for dramatic suspense
82. Nerd: Eek! Don’t hurt me! I will stab you with my new mechanical pencil if you come
closer!
83. Jock: OOH. SO SCARY. AHAHAH GIVE ME YOUR LUNCH CARD!
84. Nerd: No!
85. Jock: NO?! Then you’ll have to follow the consequences!
86. Sound: punching sounds (X6)
87. Nerd: AHHHHH! NOT MY GLASSES!
88. Sound: buzzer sound (X1)
2011.04.13
Block A
Jerica Y, Kevin L, Lauren K, Sangheon C.
89. N.N.: I don’t even want to THINK about it! All those moments... Moments of PAIN.
Brings back bad memories....
90. Narrator: That’s just pathetic. When are you going to stop being the one injured all
the time? It’s time you played smart. Here’s how it should go down.
91. Sound: happy chime (X1)
92. Jock: Hey nerd. Come here.
93. Nerd: Eek! Don’t hurt me! I will stab you with my new mechanical pencil if you come
closer!
94. Jock: OOH. SO SCARY. AHAHAH GIVE ME YOUR LUNCH CARD!
95. Nerd: No!
96. Jock: NO?! Then you’ll have to follow the consequences!
97. Nerd: Psh, FINE. NOT MY PROBLEM. HEY MICHAEL! COME HERE!
98. Michael: Huh....? Oof!
99. Sound: punching sounds (X6)
100. Michael: AHHHH! How could you do this to me?!?!?!?!?!
101. Nerd: Ehehe. Oh well. Not my problem!
102. Sound: children cheering (X1)
103. Narrator: After all, what are friends for? Safety is the most important thing! You
need to keep yourself unharmed. Take this tip number 4 into serious consideration, and
your bully problems won’t trouble you any longer.
104. Music: transition music, bright melody
105. Narrator: Well, unfortunately that is all we have for today! There are only 4 tips, but
these 4 tips are for sure enough to get your new life started.
106. N.N.: A better life awaits you, my fellow friends. A better life. Awaits you.
107. Narrator: Well then, see you next time!
108. N.N.: Bye bye.
2011.04.13
Block A
109. Music: Closing Music
THE END
Jerica Y, Kevin L, Lauren K, Sangheon C.