GRADE
6
FRAMEWORK / CONTENT STANDARDS ADDRESSED:
Massachusetts Curriculum Framework
for ELA and Literacy (2011)
“What does good student writing at
this grade level look like?”
The answer lies in the writing itself.
The Writing Standards in Action
Project uses high quality student
writing samples to illustrate
what performance to grade level
standards looks like—in action.
Grade 6
English Language Arts
Opinion /Argument
(Persuasive Essay)
Homelessness Essay—
The World of Hobos
Massachusetts Department of Elementary and Secondary Education
Writing Standards in Action Project
www.doe.mass.edu/candi/wsa
Page 1
SAMPLE B6-12 (Opinion/Argument—Persuasive Essay)
GRADE
6
Background Information
FRAMEWORK / CONTENT STANDARDS ADDRESSED:
Massachusetts Curriculum Framework
for ELA and Literacy (2011)
Writing Sample Title: STANDARDS-BASED COMMENTARY
Homelessness Essay—The World of Hobos
The student writing sample that follows
includes standards-based commentary.
The commentary found in this column
describes how the writing meets the
standards in the Massachusetts Curriculum
Framework for English Language Arts
and Literacy (2011) and other content
frameworks when applicable.
Text Type and Purpose: Opinion/Argument
Grade level/Content area: Grade 6 English Language Arts
Type of Assignment: Persuasive Essay
Standards Addressed:
(W.6.1), (W.6.4),
(L.6.2), (L.6.3), (L.6.5)
See descriptions of these standards
in the right column of the next page.
Understanding the
Standards-Based Commentary
1.Grade-specific standards
addressed are:
This sample of student work meets grade level standards.
It demonstrates the following attributes of effective writing.
• Listed in the column to the right of
student work by strand, grade, and
number (or number and letter, where
applicable)
Highlights:
The sample:
• Introduces an empathetic claim, contextualized in a vivid
and empathetic manner
• Elaborates on the claim with clear, convincing reasoning
and evidence
• Creates with a variety of linking words, phrases, and clauses
a logical, cohesive progression of ideas
• Establishes and maintains an effective style
• Marked by a colored block with a letter
code, also in the column to the right of
student work
EXAMPLE:
2. Colored arrow blocks beneath each standard in the right column:
• Are of the same color and letter code as
the block that marks the standard being
addressed
• Makes strategic use of precise language to express
ideas concisely
• Varies sentence patterns to enhance style
• Uses words and phrases to indicate an enthusiastic tone
• Mark standards-based commentary
related to the standard being addressed
• Provides a strong conclusion that reinforces the claim
with figurative language
EXAMPLE:
• Appear in alphabetical order
3. Corresponding colored arrow blocks
within the text:
CONTINUED
Massachusetts Department of Elementary and Secondary Education
Writing Standards in Action Project
www.doe.mass.edu/candi/wsa
Page 2
SAMPLE B6-12 (Opinion/Argument—Persuasive Essay)
• Set off sections of student work to which
commentary applies
• Do not necessarily appear in alphabetical
order—but where evidence of a particular
standard exists
EXAMPLE: (begin)
section
(end)
Background Information
GRADE
6
Instructional Practices:
FRAMEWORK / CONTENT STANDARDS ADDRESSED:
Massachusetts Curriculum Framework
for ELA and Literacy (2011)
Writing Standards:
Grade 6, Standard 1 (W.6.1)
The teacher used the following practices:
• Classroom analysis of exemplars to demonstrate features
of effective opinion/argument writing
• Modeling of various organizational possibilities
• Frequent teacher/student interaction at each step of the
writing process
Write arguments to support claims with clear
reasons and relevant evidence.
EXAMPLE:
Writing Standards:
Grade 6, Standard 4 (W.6.4)
Produce clear and coherent writing in which
the development, organization, and style are
appropriate to task, purpose, and audience.
Assignment Description: Students were asked to propose a solution to a local, state, or
national problem. Relying on personal experience, they were to
convince readers of the serious nature of the problem and the
practicality of the solution.
EXAMPLE:
Intended Audience:
Teacher, peers
EXAMPLE: Writing Process:
Alone; in class; pre-writing; organizing; drafting; revising;
self-editing; peer-editing/peer response; teacher feedback
Materials:
Exemplars, graphic organizers, persuasion map, teacher-made
handouts, language arts text
Massachusetts Department of Elementary and Secondary Education
Writing Standards in Action Project
www.doe.mass.edu/candi/wsa
Page 3
SAMPLE B6-12 (Opinion/Argument—Persuasive Essay)
Demonstrate command of the conventions of
standard English capitalization, punctuation,
and spelling when writing.
Language Standards
Grade 6, Standard 3 (L.6.3)
Time:
4 class periods
Please note:
The samples may contain inaccuracies in
wording and content or shortcomings in the
use of standard English conventions.
Language Standards
Grade 6, Standard 2 (L.6.2)
END OF BACKGROUND
Use knowledge of language and its conventions
when writing, speaking, reading, or listening.
EXAMPLE: Language Standards
Grade 6, Standard 5 (L.6.5)
Demonstrate understanding of figurative
language, word relationships, and nuances in
word meanings.
EXAMPLE: GRADE
6
Opinion/Argument
FRAMEWORK / CONTENT STANDARDS ADDRESSED:
Massachusetts Curriculum Framework
for ELA and Literacy (2011)
STANDARDS-BASED COMMENTARY
In this sample...
The writer argues in favor of increasing the number of homeless
shelters in Boston. A logical progression of ideas incorporates
convincing reasoning and evidence, made cohesive with a variety
of transitional elements. Precise language and varied sentence
types clarify complex ideas and create a consistent style and
tone that reflect empathy for the homeless and enthusiasm for
the claim. The essay concludes with figurative language that
crystallizes the argument, giving it added impact. Notwithstanding
somewhat formulaic organization, this sample is an effective effort
at persuading the reader of the wisdom the writer’s claim.
Understanding the
Standards-Based Commentary
The student writing sample that begins on this
page includes in this column standards-based
commentary describing how the writing meets
the standards in the Massachusetts Curriculum
Framework for English Language Arts and
Literacy (2011) and other content frameworks,
when applicable. Where they apply, substandards marked by letters are included.
Evidence for the commentary is noted in the
text of the student writing using color-coded,
numbered ‘begin’ and ‘end’ arrows.
For example:
marks the beginning and
marks
the end of the relevant section in the text.
Please note that the labeled arrows in the text
do not necessarily appear in alphabetical order.
Homelessness Essay
The World of Hobos
Writing. Grade 6, Standard 1
W.6.1.a
Hobos! Your first thought would probably be “Say, What?” or
“Wah?”.
Then you might be imagining
might be like.
what a hobo
Some people may think of them as broke bums
WRITING SAMPLE CONTINUES
Introduce claim(s) and organize the reasons
and evidence clearly.
A1 Examples: 1
The writer defines the plight of the homeless in
a vivid, empathetic manner (Some people may
think of them as broke bums who stay behind a
Dunkin’ Donuts or in front of a 7-11. Others may
think hobos as awesome and cuddly people
who are there for our entertainment, begging for
cash. The reality is that they’re really people like
you and me, misunderstood and treated unfairly
by society.).
Massachusetts Department of Elementary and Secondary Education
Writing Standards in Action Project
www.doe.mass.edu/candi/wsa
Page 4
SAMPLE B6-12 (Opinion/Argument—Persuasive Essay)
MORE COMMENTARY
Opinion/Argument
GRADE
6
FRAMEWORK / CONTENT STANDARDS ADDRESSED:
Massachusetts Curriculum Framework
for ELA and Literacy (2011)
STANDARDS-BASED COMMENTARY
who stay behind a Dunkin’ Donuts or in front of a 7-11. Others
Writing. Grade 6, Standard 1
(continued)
may think hobos as awesome and cuddly people who are there for
A2 Examples: 1
our entertainment, begging for cash.
The reality is that they’re
really people like you and me, misunderstood and treated unfairly by
society.
One simple thing to solve this is
to create more homeless shelters in Boston.
know
that
Little do you
it could create less crime, provide jobs for many,
The writer concisely proposes a solution for
homelessness (One simple thing to solve
this is to create more homeless shelters in
Boston.).
A3 Examples: 1
The writer provides an organizational
framework by specifying several benefits
of the proposed solution (...it could create
less crime, provide jobs for many, and how
we could all easily become homeless in a
second.).
and how we could all easily become homeless in a second.
WRITING SAMPLE CONTINUES
Massachusetts Department of Elementary and Secondary Education
Writing Standards in Action Project
www.doe.mass.edu/candi/wsa
Page 5
SAMPLE B6-12 (Opinion/Argument—Persuasive Essay)
MORE COMMENTARY
GRADE
6
Opinion/Argument
FRAMEWORK / CONTENT STANDARDS ADDRESSED:
Massachusetts Curriculum Framework
for ELA and Literacy (2011)
STANDARDS-BASED COMMENTARY
Now, I know you are probably wondering what crime has
to do with a homeless shelter.
The truth is
that like any person, homeless people can get fed up with asking for
money and can resort to more desperate measures.
and food can be stolen for money or survival.
any robbery,
Valuables
So, like
police will have to respond which can distract
them from doing other important things.
to this because
Shelters come in
when people are taken in, they are usually
supplied with most things needed for living, such as a bed and
food.
This means that
there is less need for
hobos or the homeless to steal necessities.
Writing. Grade 6, Standard 1
(continued)
W.6.1.b
Support claim(s) with clear reasons and
relevant evidence, using credible sources
and demonstrating an understanding of the
topic or text.
B1 Examples: 1 . 2 . 3
The writer constructs a logical, fairly easy to
follow progression of ideas to give credence to
each specified benefit of the proposed solution
(The truth is that like any person, homeless
people can get fed up with asking for money
and can resort to more desperate measures.
Valuables and food can be stolen for money or
survival. So, like any robbery, police will have
to respond which can distract them from doing
other important things. Shelters come in to
this because when people are taken in, they
are usually supplied with most things needed
for living, such as a bed and food... folks can
usually jump to thinking that they were just
fools that gambled too much (even I used to
think that). If you think about it, though, what
the Massachusetts economy is like, it would
not be surprising for someone to lose a job.
This can force someone to sell or just lose
their house completely... What I’m talking
about is you, yourself, and how we could all be
homeless in a second. Plus, adults, what if you
had children? Sure, I bet a fully-grown adult
would know how to take care of themselves
for a while on the street, but a child or a baby
would have no means to keep themselves
warm or know how to search for food.).
WRITING SAMPLE CONTINUES
Massachusetts Department of Elementary and Secondary Education
Writing Standards in Action Project
www.doe.mass.edu/candi/wsa
Page 6
SAMPLE B6-12 (Opinion/Argument—Persuasive Essay)
MORE COMMENTARY
Opinion/Argument
GRADE
6
FRAMEWORK / CONTENT STANDARDS ADDRESSED:
Massachusetts Curriculum Framework
for ELA and Literacy (2011)
STANDARDS-BASED COMMENTARY
Another cause of crime increase and people being
Writing. Grade 6, Standard 1
(continued)
homeless is because of job loss.
clothed, homeless people,
When people see tattered
folks can usually jump to thinking
that they were just fools that gambled too much (even I used to
think that).
If you think about it, though,
what the
Massachusetts economy is like, it would not be surprising for
someone to lose a job.
This can force someone to sell or just
lose their house completely.
more shelters
However, with
it gives these people somewhere to go where they
can start small jobs to save money and get back on their feet.
B2 Examples: 1 . 2 . 3
The writer’s straightforward progression of
ideas leads to several conclusions to buttress
the overarching argument ((This means that
there is less need for hobos or the homeless
to steal necessities... However, with more
shelters, it gives these people somewhere
to go where they can start small jobs to
save money and get back on their feet... The
situation could even lead to illness and with
no money, little kids can die if left with an
untreated illnessl.).
W.6.1.c
Use words, phrases, and clauses to clarify
the relationships among claim(s) and
reasons.
C1 Examples: 1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5 . 6 . 7 . 8
The writer creates cohesion within paragraphs
with a variety of transitional elements (Then
you might be imagining... One simple thing to
solve this is... So, like any robbery... Shelters
come in to this because... This means that...
If you think about it, though... However, with
more shelters..., or...).
C2 Examples: 1 . 2 . 3 . 4
WRITING SAMPLE CONTINUES
The writer provides a variety of transitions
from one paragraph to the next by referring
to relevant ideas from the introduction (Now, I
know you are probably wondering what crime
has to do with a homeless shelter... Another
cause of crime increase and people being
homeless is because of job loss... What I’m
talking about is you, yourself, and how we
could all be homeless in a second... So, this
would be why and how shelters can benefit
you...).
Massachusetts Department of Elementary and Secondary Education
Writing Standards in Action Project
www.doe.mass.edu/candi/wsa
Page 7
SAMPLE B6-12 (Opinion/Argument—Persuasive Essay)
MORE COMMENTARY
Opinion/Argument
GRADE
6
FRAMEWORK / CONTENT STANDARDS ADDRESSED:
Massachusetts Curriculum Framework
for ELA and Literacy (2011)
STANDARDS-BASED COMMENTARY
Still, after all this,
we’ve been talking about other
people, but what about right now.
What I’m talking
about is you, yourself, and how we could all be homeless in a
second.
Plus, adults, what if you had children? Sure, I bet a
fully-grown adult would know how to take care of themselves for a
while on the street, but a child or a baby would have no means to
keep themselves warm or know how to search for food.
The situation could even lead to illness and with no money,
little kids can die if left with an untreated illness.
Writing. Grade 6, Standard 1
(continued)
W.6.1.e
Provide a concluding statement or section
that follows from the argument presented.
D Examples: 1
The strong concluding statement refers to broad
contours of the argument that encapsulate it
and reinforce a dramatic call to action (So, this
would be why and how shelters can benefit you,
and maybe next time you see someone out,
homeless, on the street, you might realize that
could someday be a neighbor, a friend, or you!
Even now, while you’re reading this, a shelter in
the world could be helping someone get their
life back. So, what are you waiting for? Now that
you know about these reasons, you can try help
make more shelters in Boston and give more
people a chance. For all you know, you could be
helping someone that could be the world’s next
Bill Gates!).
WRITING SAMPLE CONTINUES
Massachusetts Department of Elementary and Secondary Education
Writing Standards in Action Project
www.doe.mass.edu/candi/wsa
Page 8
SAMPLE B6-12 (Opinion/Argument—Persuasive Essay)
MORE COMMENTARY
Opinion/Argument
GRADE
6
FRAMEWORK / CONTENT STANDARDS ADDRESSED:
Massachusetts Curriculum Framework
for ELA and Literacy (2011)
STANDARDS-BASED COMMENTARY
So, this would be why and how shelters can benefit
you,
and maybe next time you see someone out, homeless, on
the street, you might realize that could someday be a neighbor, a
friend, or you!
Even now,
while you’re reading
this, a shelter in the world could be helping someone get their life
back.
So, what are you waiting for?
W.6.4
Produce clear and coherent writing in which
the development, organization, and style are
appropriate to task, purpose, and audience.
Overall text reference
The writer makes an enthusiastic argument
with a logical, fairly easy to follow progression
of ideas enhanced by convincing details.
Note: Comment refers to the piece as a whole
rather than a specific example within the text.
Now that you
know about these reasons, you can try help make more shelters in
Boston and give more people a chance.
Writing. Grade 6, Standard 4
For all you know,
you could be helping someone that could be the world’s next
Language. Grade 6, Standard 2
L.6.2
Demonstrate command of the conventions
of standard English capitalization,
punctuation, and spelling when writing.
Overall text reference
The writer’s sophisticated control of standard
English capitalization, punctuation, and spelling
enhances the clarity of this sample.
Bill Gates!
Note: Comment refers to the piece as a whole
rather than a specific example within the text.
END OF WRITING SAMPLE
Massachusetts Department of Elementary and Secondary Education
Writing Standards in Action Project
www.doe.mass.edu/candi/wsa
Page 9
SAMPLE B6-12 (Opinion/Argument—Persuasive Essay)
MORE COMMENTARY
Opinion/Argument
GRADE
6
FRAMEWORK / CONTENT STANDARDS ADDRESSED:
Massachusetts Curriculum Framework
for ELA and Literacy (2011)
STANDARDS-BASED COMMENTARY
Language. Grade 6, Standard 3
L.6.3.a
Vary sentence patterns for meaning,
reader/listener interest, and style.
G Examples: 1 . 2 . 3 . 4
The writer uses a variety of sentence types to
clarify ideas and enhance reader interest (The
reality is that they’re really people like you and
me, misunderstood and treated unfairly by
society... Valuables and food can be stolen for
money or survival... This can force someone to
sell or just lose their house completely... Even
now, while you’re reading this, a shelter in the
world could be helping someone get their life
back. So, what are you waiting for?).
L.6.3.b
Maintain consistency in style and tone.
H Examples: 1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5
The writer makes purposeful use of appropriate
words and phrases to indicate an enthusiastic
tone (Little do you know... The truth is... Still,
after all this... So, what are you waiting for...?
For all you know...).
Language. Grade 6, Standard 5
L.6.5
Demonstrate understanding of figurative
language, word relationships, and nuances
in word meanings.
I Examples:
1
TThe writer heightens the effect of the
argument by concluding it with a meaningful
allusion to a well-known contemporary figure
(Hector Street – the long divide... Outward a(...
you could be helping someone that could be
the world’s next Bill Gates!).
Massachusetts Department of Elementary and Secondary Education
Writing Standards in Action Project
www.doe.mass.edu/candi/wsa
Page 10 SAMPLE B6-12 (Opinion/Argument—Persuasive Essay)
END OF COMMENTARY