The Word on Marriage and Divorce
WEEK OF January 19, 2014
Matthew 19:1-12
Leader, as a rule, answering the questions in “engage it” should take no more than 10
minutes and are designed to generate conversation around the sermon’s main themes.
1. How many people do you know who have been affected by divorce? What are some of
the ways that people are emotionally, spiritually, and physically impacted by divorce?
2. If a friend was getting married this weekend, what marriage advice would you give?
Leader, “unpack it” questions help provide an understanding of what happened in the
passage and a deeper analysis of certain themes in it, oftentimes, bringing in
additional passages for comparison or support.
Context on the passage: “John [the Baptizer] had been put in prison and killed, at least in part, for his
public opinion on marriage and divorce, so the Pharisees hoped to trap Jesus too. They were trying to trick
Jesus by having him choose sides in a theological controversy. Two schools of thought represented two
opposing views of divorce. One group supported divorce for almost any reason. The other believed that
divorce could be allowed only for marital unfaithfulness. This conflict hinged on how each group interpreted
Deuteronomy 24; 1-4. In his answer, however, Jesus focuses on marriage rather than on divorce. He
pointed out that God intended marriage to be permanent and gave four reasons for the importance of
marriage (19:4-6).”1
So again, in their continued quest to destroy Jesus (Matthew 12:14), the Pharisees lay a trap using the issue
of divorce. The Pharisees themselves were in the first group – teaching that a man may divorce his wife for
practically any reason. John MacArthur explains the Pharisees’ teaching:
. . . a man could divorce his wife for the most trivial of reasons, for such things as taking her hair
down in public or talking to other men and even for burning the bread or putting too much salt in
the food. For her to speak ill of her mother-in-law or to be infertile were more than sufficient
grounds for divorce.2
It may go without saying that this idea of easy divorce was popular with the men of the day as we see in the
response of the disciples in verse 10.
Read Matthew 19:1-12
3. What question did the Pharisees ask in Matthew 19:3 and what was their purpose in
asking?
Question: “Is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause?”
Purpose: The question was a test meant to find a way to trap Jesus. He had already taught on
divorce in the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5:31-32) so they knew what he would say. The
response by the disciples in verse 10 shows that the Pharisees were correct in thinking Jesus teaching
would be difficult to accept and could be a way to discredit Him.
1
Matthew 19:3-12 footnote. Life Application Bible. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2001. p. 1572.
2
MacArthur, John. Matthew 16-23. Chicago: Moody Publishers, 1988. p. 164.
2
4. In response to the Pharisees’ question on divorce, how does Jesus elevate marriage
(Matthew 19:4-6)?


He makes the point that marriage began with God, who created the first man and woman.
He then states the reason that a man will enter into a marriage. His created gender moves
him to leave his parents and to be united to his wife.

The design is that spouses will become one flesh together, no longer two.

God joins spouses together, and Jesus warns that what God has joined together, no man
should separate.
5. According to Ephesians 5:31-32, for what other essential reason does God elevate
marriage?
God compares the marriage of a man and a woman to the relationship between Christ and the
church. Marriage is an earthly representation, an earthly symbol of the mystery of Christ’s
relationships with His church. Therefore, to the extent of the godliness of our marriage, we show
unbelievers around us the love and sacrifice of Christ for his Church. A godly marriage can and
should be an effective form of evangelism.
6. In Matthew 19:7, the Pharisees appealed to Moses as the basis for their teaching. What
did the Mosaic Law say about divorce in Deuteronomy 24:1-4?
Far from commanding divorce, Deuteronomy 24:1-4 places restraints on divorce. The passage talks
about a woman who is divorced and then divorced again or widowed. She must not go back to her
first husband. She is not to be passed around between men at their whim in some sort of “serial
monogamy.” The requirement to provide a certificate provided a deliberate process and thus time for
reflection when considering divorce.3 These two regulations provided checks on a culture of easy
divorce that was pervasive in Egypt4 and the rest of the ancient world, one which the Israelites
participated in as well.
3
Jamieson, Robert, A.R. Fausset, and David Brown. “Deuteronomy”. Commentary Critical and Explanatory on the Whole
Bible. n.p. 1871. Biblia. Web. 11 Jan. 2014.
4
Johnson, Janet H. “Women's Legal Rights in Ancient Egypt”. Fathom Archive. The Oriental Institute at University of
Chicago, Web. 11 Jan. 2014.
7. What would the Pharisees gain if Jesus opposed Moses?5
Moses was the giver of the law in the eyes of the people; his word was the “bottom line” on every
matter concerning God’s thought on all issues. If the Pharisees could get Jesus to publically oppose
Moses’ teaching, then they could easily make the argument that He was, in fact, opposed God.
8. In Matthew 19:8, what does Jesus say about Moses’ intention for allowing divorce?
What is implied by Jesus’ use of the word “allowed”?
Moses’ concession in Deuteronomy 24:1-4 is given in order to allow women to remarry if they have
been divorced by their husbands (an unmarried woman was in a very vulnerable, unsafe position in
that culture). Moses made this concession because of the people’s hardness of heart. Divorce was
not part of God's plan in the beginning.
Implicit in Jesus' use of the word “allowed” is a rejection of the idea that Moses commanded divorce
as the Pharisees suggested.
9. Informed by Zechariah 7:11-12, Jeremiah 5:20-25, Ephesians 4:18, what does it mean
to have a “hard heart” and what are the effects of a hard heart?
What is a “hard heart”?

Zechariah 7:11-12 – Stubborn; Refusal to listen to God.

Jeremiah 5:20-25 – Foolish; senseless; refusal to see or hear; lack of reverence for the
Lord; turning away from the Lord’s way; choosing one’s own path.

Ephesians 4:18 – Darkened in their understanding, alienated from a life of God;
Ignorant; Callous; Given over to sexual sin, greed, impurity, and deceitful desires.
Results of a “hard heart”?

Zechariah 7:11-12 – God’s wrath. God’s refusal to hear the cry of the hard hearted.
Desolation of the heart and of the land in which they live.

Jeremiah 5:20-25 – Loss of the good things/the blessings that the Lord give’s to the
obedient/upright.

5
Ephesians 4:18 – Alienated from God, callous, and sinful, enslaved to old self.
Serendipity Bible for Groups: New International Version. 4th Edition. Nashville: Serendipity House, 1998. print. p. 1356.
4
For further understanding, there are many examples of hard-hearted people who are persistently
rebellious or unbelieving. Pharaoh in Exodus 7:3-4 is an example of a rebellious heart. And an
unbelieving heart is illustrated in Mark 16:14. A hard-hearted person resists or defies God.
10.In Matthew 19:9, how did Jesus alter Moses instructions from Deuteronomy 24:1-4?
Jesus restricted the allowable reasons for divorce to a single offense. Only sexual immorality would
be a valid reason to dissolve the bond of marriage.
11.How does God look upon a divorce with no biblical grounds and a subsequent
remarriage (Matthew 19:9)?
If a person divorces for any reason other than that given in Scripture that person is still married in
the eyes of God. If he/she marry another, adultery is committed because in God’s eyes, the person is
still “one flesh” with his/her original spouse. Regardless of the rules man makes for marriage, God's
rules are fixed, and they alone constitute truth.
12.What is the other basis for divorce given in 1 Corinthians 7:12-16?
Divorce is allowed if an unbelieving spouse leaves the believing spouse. More than an allowance for
divorce, the believing spouse is commanded by I Corinthians 7:15 to let the unbelieving spouse go 6. If
the unbelieving spouse consents to stay with the believing spouse the believer must not divorce the
unbeliever (I Corinthians 7:12-13).
13.How did the disciples react to Jesus' declaration about marriage, and why did they
react that way?
They see that Jesus is setting the bar very high in firmly stating the binding nature of marriage.
Their knee-jerk conclusion is that not getting married at all would be a preferable choice to getting
stuck in an undesirable marriage. Their response highlights how jarring Jesus' teaching on divorce
was to the disciples and how opposite it was to their culture.
6
MacArthur, John. 1Corinthians. Chicago: Moody Publishers, 1984. p. 168. Print.
14.Define the word eunuch and the three categories of eunuchs based Jesus’ teaching in
Matthew 19:11-12.
Jesus states three groups of men who would be defined as eunuchs, loosely defined as people who
remain unmarried. The first is a man who was born without the physical ability or desire to marry
and reproduce… presumably due to some naturally occurring condition associated with hormone
production. The second group is those who have been violently castrated in their youth by the evil
deeds of other men. The third group is those who choose not to marry but to remain single and
sexually abstinent because of a decision to devote themselves more fully to God’s kingdom (See also
1 Corinthians 7:7-9).
15.In the passages studied here as well as other passages in God’s Word, what hope does
Jesus offer for those who are divorced?
Answers will vary.
Leader, “live it” are generally designed for individual application after small group
time; though, some may be appropriate for group discussion, if desired.
16.Pray this week for those you know who have been affected by divorce. Pray for the
marriages of the people you know, asking God to heal, protect and strengthen them.
17.If you are married, how can you reaffirm and protect your marriage commitment?
What is one special thing you can do this week to strengthen your marriage?
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