ISAAC AND REBEKAH:
PICKING A MATE
Genesis 24:1-9, 12-20, 50-51, 57-58, 63-67
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Before Reading the Passage
We looked last week at Abraham and Sarah.
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This wonderful couple had a son very late in life. In fact, Abraham was 100 and Sarah was 90
years old when Isaac was born.
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They dearly loved Isaac. Their whole lives seemed to revolve around Isaac. The truth is their love
was a smother love. They over-indulged Isaac. Twice we are told that “Abraham gave all that he had to
Isaac (Genesis 24:36; 25:5).
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I don't know that Abraham and Sarah even thought about a bride for Isaac. It was not until Sarah
died that Abraham said, “Isaac needs a wife.” Isaac was 40 years old.
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When you study Isaac's life you will find that he was a good man, but he was not a great man like
his father, Abraham.
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Keep that in mind as we look at this couple, Isaac and Rebekah. He was a good, godly man, but
not a great man: over-indulgence by his parents, shy, passive, meditative, but not a deep thinker, not very
outgoing.
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The selection of a mate is important, so Abraham made the servant who is going to pick Isaac's
bride promise three things:
1. He wouldn't choose a wife from the unbelieving Canaanite women. Abraham had rather
see his son remain wifeless than to marry the wrong woman—an unbeliever.
2. He was to choose the wife from among Abraham's relatives.
3. If the woman wouldn't come to where Isaac was, the servant was not to take Isaac to his
father's homeland, lest he get involved with an unbelieving woman. Again, it would be
better for Isaac not to have a wife than to marry an unbeliever
Read the Passage.
The selection of a mate is important.
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Abraham told his servant to pick Isaac's bride and make sure she was of the same race, religion
and social background as Isaac.
Let me show you the importance of picking the right mate:
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In Genesis 1 God gives 31 verses devoted to the creation.
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But Geneses 24 is the longest chapter in the Book of Genesis and tells how Isaac got his bride.
For Isaac and Rebekah, it was love at first sight...deep love, but it did not last because they failed to work
on their marriage.
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No, they stayed together “till death did they part” but it did not end up being a happy
marriage, because, although it started off fine and they loved each other very much, they
failed to work together on their marriage and keep it fresh and exciting.
One marriage counselor says that marriage at best is a blind date.
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A man and woman could court each other for ten years and still make some fantastic discoveries
about each other within a year of wedded life.
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Even couples who live together out of wedlock do not know what marriage is all about. Even if
they decide to take the marriage vow, their new life together will not simply be more of the old life as
when they were living together.
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*The woman/man you courted will not be the same woman/man you are married to—not exactly.
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*Marriage is like a blind date: you may go into it with your eyes open, but there is a lot you
cannot see!
I.
The Divine Matchmaker
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When Abraham sent his servant to find a wife for Isaac, it would not just be him picking the bride,
but it would be God's choice.
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Note Genesis 24:7.
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The servant is going to seek God's leading...pray about the choice...and “put out the fleece”--see
Genesis 24:11-16.
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I told you that Isaac was rather mild-mannered, meditative, reserved, quiet...Rebekah, on the other
hand was vivacious, beautiful, outgoing, gracious, friendly, thoughtful, hard-working and anxious to
please.
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Remember, Isaac is 40; she is in her early 20's.
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I say hard-working—she watered all ten camels after she gave the servant to drink. Let me tell
you something about camels:
- A camel needs about 5 gallons of water a day. They can store about 20 gallons of water at a
time.
- When they are full of water, they can travel 250 mile comfortably, carrying about 500
pounds about 30 miles a day.
- The trip this servant made was about 500 miles and took about 3 weeks.
- If she had a gallon bucket, and the camels were dry, she would have to draw 200 buckets of
water and pour them all out in the trough.
What a girl! Beautiful, friendly, hard-working!!
How do you pick a mate? According to this account, what do you look for? Some guidelines:
1.
Christians marry Christians
- Three times in Genesis 24, Abraham said, “Make sure the woman you pick is a believer.”
- II Corinthians 6:14: “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers.
- The Jewish rabbis literally show their young people what this means. They harnessed a camel
and a donkey to the same plow. The donkey has a terrible time. The camel doesn't like being
that close to a donkey. The little donkey had all the weight of the yoke resting on its
shoulders. Neither one of them can get in step. And to plow these two together is forbidden
of the Lord.
- Just so with a believer and non-believer—they can't pray together, go to church together in
a meaningful way—one will want to give, the other will not.
2. Committed to Christ
- If you are a spiritual Christian, sold out to the Lord and you marry a carnal, back-slidden
Christian, they can make life miserable for the spiritual Christian.
- It's also important to have the same Biblical background—doctrinal beliefs. This helps
avoid the problems of where you will go to church and where the children will go to
church.
- Genesis 24:23: “Whose daughter are you?” He was interested in her family—are they
believers...what's your spiritual background.
3. Communication
- Find someone you can talk to and spend time talking and listening to. If you
spend your date life involved in heavy kissing and even immorality, you never get to know
the person.
4. Character
- Look for a person who has honesty, integrity, kindness and knows how to work hard.
- The character of a person is one of the main building blocks of marriage.
- Dr. Betty Hearn—stopped dating a boy because he swerved to hit a rabbit. That told her
something about his character.
5.
Concern for others.
- Marriage is a life of giving oneself to the other. Selfish people can be hard to live
with.
6.
Call upon the Lord
Genesis 24:5-7, 50-51
- Pray for guidance and direction. Ask the Lord to bring the right person into your life,
then be the kind of person that will attract the kind of person you want to spend the
rest of your life with.
- David Jeremiah told of a father who prayed during family devotion time, “Father,
keep my children from divorce.” His teenage boys were sitting right there, unmarried. Later he was asked why he prayed that way. He said, “Because many
divorces begin in the selection process.”
7. Cares for self
- Look for someone who cares about their appearance and keeps themselves clean.
- If people have no respect for themselves, they usually have no respect for others.
8. Chastity in the Relationship
- Be committed to keep yourself pure and save your virginity for your spouse after
you are married.
- True love waits.
9. Common Philosophy
- In the area of finances, family, family training.
- Marry within your station—basic values, education, faith...If you do, there will be
fewer adjustments to make and you will give the marriage a better chance to
succeed.
10. Commendation of the Parents
- Listen to the advice of your parents. They may see good or bad qualities in a
person that you might not notice.
- Also, notice the attitude of the person you date toward their own parents. If a man
is unkind or disrespectful toward his mother, he most likely will treat his wife that
way.
While we don't pick our children's mates , we can teach them from their early years the vital importance
of marrying a believer.
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If they are a Christian, God has a Christian mate for them.
But because Isaac and Rebekah didn't work on their marriage, they began to drift apart.
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In Genesis 26:7 Isaac takes a page from his father's life—he lies about his wife—saying she was
his sister—She never seemed to be able to forget that.
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From that time, Rebekah loved Isaac, but she lost respect for him. Once you lose your mate's
respect and don't do all you can to restore that respect, the marriage is bound to go south.
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After being barren for 20 years, Isaac prays that Rebekah will have a child Genesis 25:21.
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Having babies doesn't solve problems, they often reveal them and that's what happened to this
couple.
II.
Secret Revelation
Genesis 25:21-28
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Rebekah had a difficult and uncomfortable pregnancy—verse 22, “Why am I like this? What's
happening?”
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God gave her a special revelation: “You are having twins. Usually the elder son receives the
birthright, but not so with your boys. The oldest will serve the younger.”
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Here's the problem: Because Rebekah had little respect for Isaac, she never shared that revelation
with Isaac. She knew that it was God's plan for the second born son, Jacob, to receive the birthright
blessing and not Esau, but she never told Isaac.
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Communication had broken down.
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Rebekah is mentioned only one time in the New Testament. See Romans 9:10-13—Note “to her”,
not to Isaac. Verse 13 is referring to Esau's descendants, the Edomites who experienced God's divine
judgment.
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But now, notice Genesis 25:28
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It may well be that Rebekah showed favoritism to Jacob, partly because of God's revelation to her
about him.
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Or it might have been the temperament of the boys: Esau was an outdoors man—everything Isaac
may have wanted to be, but wasn't. Jacob was a mother's boy—staying at the tent, cooking.
The two greatest problems in marriage are found here:
1.
Communication
- She failed to share her heart with her husband. Why didn't she tell him?
- When we fail to share things with our mates, it's a sign that something is wrong with our
marriage.
- Share what's in your heart with your mate. If something is bothering you...if you are not
happy with something—share it with your mate in the right way, with kindness and love, in
the right spirit.
- If you must disagree, do it with the right tone of voice and volume of voice. And don't put the other
one down or nag!!
2.
A domineering wife and a passive husband
- In this case the result was favoritism
Genesis 25:28
- Showing favoritism to children causes defects in children and brings them low self-esteem.
- Many children grow up thinking their parents favor one sibling over the other.
- What happens?
A child grows to disrespect the parent who over-indulges him.
1. Genesis 25:29-34—Jacob Over-indulged by his mother and rejected by his father. Stole
his brother's birthright with a bowl of stew. Don't you expect that that affected not only
Esau, but Jacob too? And I wonder if Rebekah didn't just smile about it, at least inwardly.
2. Genesis 25:34-35—Esau
Deliberately ignored the standard set by Abraham for Isaac.
He married outside his race...twice...then in Genesis 28:9 married a third time; this time,
Ishmael's daughter in a ploy to repair his fathers favor. (The first two times it was out of
spite.)
III. The Deceptive Scheme
Genesis 27
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Isaac was old – 137 – and he thinks he is nearing death. He is blind and doesn't wander far from
his tent. He calls Esau in and tells him that he wants to bless him and give him the birthright. Rebekah is
listening and plots to deceive her blind husband with the help of her favorite son.
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Remember: Isaac still doesn't know of Rebekah's revelation from God. Wouldn't that be a good
time for her to go to Isaac and share what God had told her. But she'd rather deceive her husband!
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Trust is essential to a good marriage—sneaking around, hiding things, planning schemes against
your mate will wreck the marriage.
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To Jacob's credit, he didn't want to deceive his father
Rebekah taught her son to scheme and deceive!
Genesis 27:8-17
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Now, Esau comes in
Genesis 27:30-38
Isaac knew Esau had traded his birthright for a
bowl of stew and that he had deliberately and for spite married pagan women; yet, he wanted to bless
him, but he could not.
IV.
The Sad Ending
Genesis 27:41-45
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What a priced Rebekah must have paid at the hands of Isaac and Esau for the part she played.
Genesis 27:44-45 Are haunting words—she died before Jacob ever returned.
* We make our decisions; then our decisions turn around and make us!
How do you keep the honey in the honeymoon?
1.
Keep the Search Going
- Keep learning about each other.
- An old preacher told a young groom after the ceremony--”Listen, now that you've caught the fish, don't
throw the bait away.”
2.
Keep the Communication Flowing
- Communication leads to understanding and understanding leads to happiness in the home.
3.
Keep the Love Showing
- Love will not grow automatically. It must be nourished. If you nourish it, it will grow; but if
you neglect it, it will die.
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