Family as a Dysfunctional System

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Family as a Dysfunctional System

FAMILY AS A DYSFUNCTIONAL SYSTEM

Objective: Student will understand the relationship between substance abuse and dysfunctional behavior within the family system.

Overview

I. Anticipatory Set

(15 minutes)

II. Instruction

(45 minutes)

III. Guided Practice

(45 minutes)

IV. Independent Practice

(45 minutes)

V. Closure

(15 minutes)

Procedures

Introduce objective

Conduct anticipatory set from LRS #1

(Refer to LRS #2 for guidance)

Teach points from The Family As A

System, LRS #4

Distribute Nurturing and Dysfunctional

Families, SW #1. Compare both systems in the chart.

Explain the roles that people in dysfunctional families tend to play, using

LRS #5 for reference.

Check for understanding (LRS #2)

(Refer to LRS #3 for guidance)

Choose an activity from LRS #3.

Allow time for students to work in groups or pairs as directed.

Share out if appropriate.

Distribute The Family System and Family

Roles

Allow time for completion and share out

Closing Questions:

What are some ways that people adapt to having an addict in the family? (Review

Objective)

What are some things that you would like to do in the future to create a more nurturing home environment?(Personal

Reflection)

What did you like/dislike about this lesson?(Lesson Feedback)

Materials

LRS #1

LRS #2

LRS #4

LRS #5

SW #1

SW #2

LRS #3

LRS #6

LRS #7

LRS #8

SW #3

SW #4

SW: Student Worksheet

LRS: Leader Resource Sheet rev 4/3/13

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LRS 1

Family as a Dysfunctional System

Family as a Dysfunctional System

Objective: Students will understand the relationship between substance abuse and dysfunctional behavior within the family system.

Key Terms – Important terms are defined throughout the lesson.

Anticipatory Sets (Choose the option you prefer)

Option #1: Exploring Group Dynamics

Ask students to remember the last positive experience that they had, while being part of a group. Have them write the experience down in their composition books. Next, ask them to write down what made the experience a good one. Was there trust? Did people work together as a team? Share out and chart answers.

Now, ask students to recall the last negative experience they had while being part of a group. What happened? Ask them to write down what factors caused the experience to be negative. Share out and chart answers.

Ask students “Do any of these positive or negative factors exist within families?” Invite students to comment on any connections they can identify.

Transitional Statements: “As you can see, there are many factors which can cause a group to work well together or become unhealthy. Today, we will explore how addiction can impact the way families operate and what can occur within a family when recovery begins.”

Option #2: What makes up a system?

Write on one site of the board “What makes up a system?”

Ask students to individually brainstorm this question, writing ideas in their composition books. Prompt them with a few examples of systems with component parts (i.e. car, solar system, workplace, fish tank, etc).

Allow 2 minutes and then invite students to share out.

Next, select one student-offered example of a system.

Ask students to consider how the system would be affected if one part of the system were not functioning correctly. You may wish to start with an inanimate object (example: a car with a flat tire) and then graduate to an example that involves people (i.e. a work team with a lazy employee).

Offer examples of systems that include a dysfunctional component part and ask students to comment on the impact that part has on the entire system. List responses on the board.

Next, ask students to look at the affects listed on the board. Ask class how those affects compare with what takes place in a family where addiction is present. Point out any similarities you see.

Transitional Statement: “Today we will explore the ways that families operate as systems. We will also look at how addicted family members can impact others within the family and even contribute to the behavioral patterns of future generations.”

SW: Student Worksheet

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LRS 2

Family as a Dysfunctional System

Instruction

Concept Development – 30 minutes

1.

Use The Family as a System, LRS #4, as a guide to discuss how families work together as a system and how the behavior of one family member impacts others in that system.

2.

Distribute Nurturing and Dysfunctional Families, SW#1. Use the chart to illustrate how family systems can operate in nurturing or dysfunctional ways. Solicit examples of additional behaviors that fall into the “nurturing” and “dysfunctional” categories.

3.

Explain that in dysfunctional family systems, family members often take on roles that support the system. Review the roles, as described on Family Roles – Overview, LRS #5.

4.

Address the importance of recovery for the entire family using the following points: a) The importance of recovery for the family has long been overlooked. Much attention in the treatment field still remains exclusively focused on the chemically dependent person.

This falls short of addressing the whole problem because families operate as systems and when one part of that system is behaving in a dysfunctional way, the entire system adapts. b) The entire family system is enmeshed in the cycle of addiction. Each person has his/her own set of defense mechanisms and survival behaviors. The entire family must become well. c) Most of us bring these survival behaviors from our family of origin to our “new families.” Since most of the current populations have been raised in dysfunctional families, most of us have dysfunctional behaviors.

5.

Check for Understanding: a.

What is one characteristic of communication in a nurturing family environment? b.

How are family roles affected when an addict in the family becomes sober? c.

In what way is chemical dependency a “Family Disease”?

SW: Student Worksheet

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LRS 3

Family as a Dysfunctional System

Guided Practice

Choose from the following student activities:

Option #1 – Family System Role Plays

1) Place students into small groups.

2) Ask students to assign “family roles” to each member of the group.

3) Tell groups that they will be creating and performing a brief role play to show how an addicted family member’s behavior affects other members in a family. Cut and distribute role play scenarios from LRS #5 to the different groups. Tell groups to read their assigned scenario and create a role play situation or conversation that shows the affects that this scenario has on family members.

4) Allow groups 10 minutes to prepare their role plays and then have groups perform them before class.

Option #2 – Name that Family!

1) Separate class into two groups.

2) Tell students that the groups represent two teams that are competing in a game of “Name that Family!” Draw a scoreboard on the white board at the front of the class to keep a running tally of each team’s score.

3) Explain that you will be reading statements about the behavior of members within a family.

Allow students to refer to their nurturing/dysfunctional family charts (SW#1) to determine whether the examples represent nurturing or dysfunctional family behavior.

1) Read the statements of family behavior listed on LRS #7. After reading each statement, call on students to guess whether the statement reflects nurturing or dysfunctional behavior.

When students guess correctly, give their team a point.

2) If some of the statements generate conflicting interpretations, discuss how the statements could reflect nurturing or dysfunctional family behavior.

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LRS 4

Family as a Dysfunctional System

THE FAMILY AS A SYSTEM

Definition: The family is a system made up of component parts that are linked together in a certain way to accomplish a common purpose.

Component parts: Family members, whether one parent, two parents, extended family, children or no children. Each member plays a specific role in the family system.

Linked together: By family rules, spoken or not spoken, healthy or unhealthy.

Common purpose: Survival, procreation, support, pooled resources, common housing, place to educate and nurture, interdependence, dependence, enable a dysfunction.

A family system can be compared to any other system—work, school, church, business and community which has component parts which are linked together for a common purpose.

A chemically dependent family system becomes dysfunctional because each of the above mentioned areas are impacted in the following ways:

Component parts: Often times, there is a loss of one or more of the family members. The loss can be:

Physical: through death, separation, illness, or side-effects of chemical dependency (passed out, sleeping, in jail)

Emotional: through withdrawal, anger, abuse.

Both physical and emotional loss, as well as the threat of such loss, is very real to the family members.

Additionally, in a chemically dependent family, the roles are well-defined, but there is no discussion about their value in making the system run smoothly and reach its goals. A comparative example is how in a manufacturing business there are managers who organize and lead the team; a production group that makes the product; a clerical group that provides administrative support, and a sales group that sells the product to the public. Each department has a job description. All of the components are linked together by the organizational plan with the common purpose of manufacturing a product, selling it, and making money.

The roles in a chemically-dependent family are often self-selected based on the individual’s personality and his or her set of defense mechanisms. Family roles will be discussed in greater detail in following units.

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LRS 4

(continued)

Family as a Dysfunctional System

Linked together: Rules in a chemically dependent family are:

1. Non-existent

2. Confusing

3. Constantly changing

4. Not discussed or negotiated

5. Help organize and perpetuate an unhealthy system

6. Designed to defend against change

Therefore, the unhealthy family system operates on many assumptions.

Common purpose:

The assumed common purpose in a chemically dependent family is to survive. The family is often dealing with basic needs of food, shelter, and safety. The chemically-dependent person’s goal is to use. The family is obsessed with the chemically dependent person’s behavior related to his/her chemical use. There is little chance of the family working toward a goal beyond survival.

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SW 1

Family as a Dysfunctional System

NURTURING AND DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILIES

NURTURING

People feel free to talk about inside feelings

All feelings are okay

Person more important than performance

All subjects are open to discussion

Individual differences are accepted

DYSFUNCTIONAL

People compulsively protect inside feelings

Only “certain” feelings okay

Performance more important than the person

Many taboo subjects, lots of secrets

Everyone must conform to strongest person’s ideas, values

Lots of control, lots of criticism Each person is responsible for his/her own actions

Respectful criticisms and appropriate consequences for actions

Few shoulds

Clear flexible rules

Atmosphere is relaxed

Joyous

Faces and works through stress

People have energy

People feel loving

Growth is celebrated

People have high self-worth

Strong parental coalition

Punishment, shaming

Lots of shoulds

Unclear, inconsistent and rigid rules

Atmosphere is tense

Lots of anger, fear

Avoids stress

People feel tired

Hurt, disappointed

Growth discouraged

People have low self-worth

Coalitions across generations

Designed by Family Care Team, Johnson Institute

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Family as a Dysfunctional System

SW 1

(continued)

1.

NURTURING FAMILIES AND DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILIES

(Continued)

In dysfunctional families, “ghosts” from the past, i.e., unfinished business from our parents’ families, tends to be passed down through the generations until it is resolved.

2. Frequently the feelings of fear, guilt, anger, emptiness, loneliness, helplessness, hopelessness, depression, sadness, and worthlessness, are part of dysfunctional families.

3. Rarely are any feelings, including positive ones, expressed appropriately. Covert/passive or aggressive are the two ends of the expression spectrum which are used the most.

4. Children receive messages about their worth from their parents, grandparents, siblings, family, teachers, friends, and community members. All these messages contribute to the child’s positive or negative feelings of self worth.

5. Families that are experiencing a great deal of pain over a period of time are not able to nurture the feelings of self-worth of each family member.

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LRS 5

Family as a Dysfunctional System

Family Roles - Overview

Various authors have written material on dysfunctional family roles. Among the most famous are,

Virginia Satir, Sharon Wegscheider-Cruse, and Claudia Black. Each has developed their own set of labels for the roles, but for consistency sake, we will identify them as:

Chemically Dependent

Person : The primary person taking the chemical

Enabler:

Family Hero:

Lost Child :

Mascot:

The person, usually the spouse, that “enables” the dependent person to continue using; codependent.

The responsible child, high achiever, “little adult”

Loner, withdrawn, detached

“Clown”, humor, provides distraction

Scapegoat:

“Problem child”, poor grades, early pregnancy, uses drugs, angry.

Some children play out more than one role; others are clearly known. All roles are chosen and developed as defense mechanisms or personalized survival techniques that allow them to live in an emotional and/or physically threatening environment.

A widely accepted theory is that these roles can also be applied to non-chemically dependent families.

Some characteristics of such families are:

1.

Poor communication – not direct or honest

2.

3.

No-talk rules

Family secret

4.

5.

Lack of nurturance of family members

Lack of negotiation

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LRS 5

(continued)

Family as a Dysfunctional System

Such families could have the following as central issues:

1.

Eating disorders

Abuse – physical, emotional, verbal, sexual neglect

5.

6.

2.

3.

4.

Gambling

Spending

Sex

Chronic physical or mental illness

7.

Extremely rigid beliefs

When one member of the family makes an effort to change, the family enters a crisis state.

Although dysfunctional, the system had operated smoothly. When one member “steps out” of the system, as one does when he/she enters recovery, the entire family is challenged to change. This is a very difficult time for the person who is in the early stages of recovery, as the family will try to pull the person back into the “comfortable” way of operating in order to regain a sense of balance. Most treatment programs support the entire family entering therapy to create a “family recovery”.

We all carry childhood roles into adulthood. They are our defense mechanisms. There are characteristics of each of the roles that will have negative side effects if not addressed.

Additional Resources:

The Family Trap, Sharon Wegscheider-Cruse

Choicemaking, Sharon Wegscheider-Cruse

Repeat After Me, Claudia Black

It Will Never Happen to Me, Claudia Black

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SW 2

Family as a Dysfunctional System

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

As described by psychologist Abraham H. Maslow, humans have five basic categories of needs.

The model proposed here is hierarchal. This means that the more basic needs must be met before moving on to the next level. Because the concept of spiritual health (not necessarily a religious application) is such an important part of recovery, it has been added to the top of the model.

Maslow’s concept is important in looking at behavioral change of the at-risk individual, i.e., those dealing with issues of chemical dependency, abuse, unintended pregnancy, and delinquency. Many such individuals have serious physiological needs (food, housing, adequate sleep, employment) and safety needs (structure, predictable schedule, free from fear of bodily harm). Those needs must be addressed before behavioral expectations can include developing healthy relationships, enhancing self-esteem or reaching long-term aspirations.

PHYSIOLOGICAL: Food, shelter, water, sleep, sex

SAFETY: No fear of physical/emotional harm; structure; predictability

HUMAN

RELATIONS: Friends, significant other, children; feeling and giving warmth; caring

SELF-ESTEEM: Respects and honors self; confidence that others are like me

SELF-ACTUALIZATION: Having goals, dreams, and reaching them; having a sense of accomplishment

SPIRITUALITY: Feeling a sense of connectedness with others that goes beyond a

mental and physical connection.

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LRS 6

Family as a Dysfunctional System

Role Play Scenarios

You are either all brothers / sisters in a family or a family with a mom, dad and children. The enabler is the key person in the addict’s life in terms of giving

“permission” to continue to drink or use. The addict has had a long history of using while with his family. There may or may not have been some kind of abuse as part of that using. Create a role play that captures how this family functions while the addict is using.

The addict has decided to go into treatment. He / she has just returned home from a 28-day residential program. Create a role-play that shows how your group members feel about the fact that the addict has gone into treatment and has stayed clean and sober for a month.

The addict has done a lot of work in his/her recovery and has been clean and sober for four months. Create a role play that shows how your group members feel about the fact that the addict has been clean and sober for four months.

The addict has had a slip. He/she started drinking and using again. He/she has been gone from the house for the last two days. Create a role play that shows how your group members feel about the fact that the addict has had a slip and has been gone for the last few days.

As a result of the slip, the addict and enabler’s relationship has turned nasty. A big physical fight occurred between them just last night. Create a role play that shows how your group members feel about the fact that the addict and enabler are fighting.

SW: Student Worksheet

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LRS 7

Family as a Dysfunctional System

GUIDED PRACTICE – OPTION #2

FAMILY STATEMENTS

Read the following statements. Call on students to guess whether each statement reflects a nurturing or dysfunctional family.

1)

Melissa felt bad about the “D” she received on her report card. After sharing the news with her mother, they set up a meeting with her teachers to figure out how she could improve the grade. [Nurturing]

2) Steven was the pride and joy of the family. He knew it was his job to make people laugh no matter what kind of stress they were going through. [Dysfunctional]

3) Lisa grew up in a home where children didn’t question authority. Now that she is a mom, she believes that her children should agree with her religious and political views. [Dysfunctional]

4)

“When mom says ‘no’, go ask dad.”

[Dysfunctional]

5) When Ed found out that he lost his job, he became very depressed. He was anxious to call his wife for support and encouragement. [Nurturing]

6) Derrick knows that if his little brother forgets to do his chores, it is better to cover for him than to let mom or dad find out about it. [Dysfunctional]

7) Cynthia couldn’t wait to get her driver’s license. He mother was eager to teach her to drive and was happy to see her daughter enjoying her new freedom. [Nurturing]

8) Roxanne is a loving wife and would do anything to support her husband- even if that means taking an extra job to support the family when her husband spends the family income on drugs. [Dysfunctional]

9)

Jimmy was disappointed that he didn’t make the cuts for the baseball team at his school. He avoided his father when he got home, knowing what a disappointment he would be.

[Dysfunctional]

10)

Julie’s mother noticed that Julie wasn’t studying as much as she had in the past. Her mother was disappointed by this. She thought about telling her to study more, but decided to just get rid of the family television to teach her a lesson. [Dysfunctional]

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LRS 8

(continued)

Family as a Dysfunctional System

Independent Practice

1.

Distribute The Family System and Family Roles.

2.

Allow time for completion and share out.

Closing

When students have finished the Independent Practice assignment, bring the lesson to a close by asking the following questions:

1.

What are some ways that people adapt to having an addict in the family? (Review

Objective)

2.

What are some things that you would like to do in the future to create a more nurturing home environment? (Personal Reflection)

3.

What did you like/dislike about this lesson? (Lesson Feedback)

When you are finished discussing the above questions, acknowledge students for their feedback and participation in the lesson.

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SW 3

Family as a Dysfunctional System

THE FAMILY SYSTEM

1.

Your family is a system in the following ways:

Name of Family Member

1.

2.

Responsibilities or Role

2.

3.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

2.

3.

1.

2.

3.

1.

2.

3.

1.

3.

1.

2.

3.

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SW 4

Family as a Dysfunctional System

FAMILY ROLES

1.

The role I played in my family was: ________________________________

2.

The behaviors I showed as a child that would support this role were: a. b. c. d.

3.

I chose those behaviors to protect myself from: a. b. c. d.

4.

The feelings that I felt were: a. b. c. d.

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Family as a Dysfunctional System

Today, as an adult, I still (check appropriate boxes)

8.

7.

5.

6. As an adult, this role protects me from: a. b. c. d. a. b. c. d.

I could turn the negative characteristics of this role into positive ones by: a. b. c. d. act overly responsible act out negatively detach from others act as “the clown”

As an adult, acting this role negatively affects me in what ways?

SW 4

(continued)

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