Elvis Rocks Hawaii
Last year’s Hawaii trip was a success; we all had a blast and the Crease
Monkeys were victorious. After all was said and done, though, I wasn’t sure if I
would make it back the following year. But when Heather Kormanik told me that
the Toyota Women’s Team was representing this year, I felt obligated to return.
Oh boy am I glad I did! This year’s tourney put on by Mark Tarone and Harry
Jackson et al, turned out to be bigger and better than last year’s; and with the cast
of characters Imported to Oahu, you knew we had a big week ahead of us. Upon
completion of the trip many people felt that it was their favorite tournament of all
time. Gewas Schindler and Jeff Wills had such an awesome experience that they
are planning on moving to Hawaii after their professional lacrosse careers are
over. With almost a week to rip Oahu, and not much sleep time, I have a ton to
talk about. I will do my best to be concise, but you are better of making yourself
comfortable.
After a day of traveling and a night of getting “acclimated,” we started off
Tuesday morning early by renting a couple Suzuki Samuris and cruised up to the
North Shore. Our first stop was Pipeline. Usually they do not allow swimming
on the North Shore because of the dangerous shore breaks, rip tide, and undertow.
Today wasn’t too bad so Gewas, John Ciliberto, and myself took a dip. After
watching some surfers and Cili’s oceanside calendar shoot, we took a ride to a
road side eatery just down the street. The shack’s specialty was the Ahi Fish
Sandwich…very tasty. We sat down at the main table with a couple North Shore
Residents, “Camel Joe” and his side kick Dennis. Camel Joe, a man in his late
40’s or so claimed to be the inventor of Camel Joe the cartoon character. They
were very entertaining and it probably helped that they were drinking 40’s of
Mickey’s at one in the afternoon. Dennis hooked us up, and told us a good spot to
go rock jumping. So we headed back down the strip to Wiamea Bay. Gewas and
Cili were the first to jump off the 35 – 40 foot rock, which quickly escalated from
mere jumps into flips, gainers, and reverse one and a halves. Although Cili
cranked out the best dives, Gewas had the best dive gone bad as he attempted a
reverse one and a half which he landed on his side. I jumped a couple times and
realized it was actually a lot more fun than it looked from the beach. I spent
another 20 minutes crashing into waves from the beach. My patented move is to
run at the waves and let them take out my feet as I do a flip into the surf…it can
keep me entertained for hours. At Wiamea, you get some waves that break on the
beach, so you can stand on sand and get pummeled by waves that measure 8 to 10
feet as they break on your head. I took about four of those before I jacked up my
neck and decided to call it a day…I am still shaking sand out of my dreads from
that set.
We met up with Eric who lives 3 houses from the Pipeline Beach. He
took us up in the hills overlooking Wiamea bay. We sat for a bit having a bevy as
Eric told us about the Big Wave Challenge that goes off every few years in which
a handful of invited surf studs try to ride 30-40 foot monsters. I thought I had it
good…sit around for 3 or 4 weeks a year waiting for the surf to come in. I could
take that…as long as I didn’t have to actually try and surf those mother’s (we will
get to my attempt at surfing later). Upon completion of the short tour, we headed
back down to the beach to watch some surfing.
The waves were coming in pretty good now, so we sat and chilled for a
bit. As Mike Ryan attempted to break open a coconut on some rocks, we saw a
couple Philippino kids strut by on their way to the waves. As a side note, the
surfer came back with his board snapped in half before Mike was able to crack
open the coconut. It wasn’t bad…a bit dry and bland but tasty. We thanked our
guide and headed back to Waikiki the long way around the eastern part of the
island, about an hour and twenty-minute drive. It blew my mind to see such
humble “houses” across the street from such amazing beaches.
When we got back we showered up and headed to Kobe’s Japanese steak
house for Harry Jr’s 1st birthday party. We had a group of about 30 or so spanned
out over 4 cooks. It took our chef at least a half hour to come out and I think they
had to pull him up from the minors. Although his skills were fine, he lacked the
flair of the other chefs such as flying food and four foot high flames. After a
couple of rounds of saki, we headed over to Moose Magilicuties. Last year we
went to Moose’s almost every night during the week and for the most part it was
weak. Although Moose’s would rage on other nights, tonight was slow and I
headed home before I had too.
Wednesday morning I went golfing with Eric Miller, Matt Schearer, and Joe
High. We played at Luana Hills, which is in a valley up in the hills about 20
minutes from home base. We got there and paid $100 for greens fees and headed
out to the driving range before teeing off. As we reached the driving range it
started to down pour. Joe was the only one who ventured out into the rain. He
tried hitting balls, but his rental kept flying out of his hands as he swung. After
about 15 minutes the rain subsided and we proceeded on. Luana Hills was
definitely the coolest coarse I have played on. Set in the jungle at the base of a
volcano, if you hit a ball off the fairway it is lost in the jungle. I am a below
average golfer with potential but I hit em well for the first couple holes. I pared
the second hole and was looking to beat my all time record of 100. E Miller
struggled at first swearing at himself…”why do I even play.” After a couple
holes Eric started to play better as I cooled off to my double bogie or worse pace.
Joe had to rent clubs and buy balls, and was down to his last ball of three sleeves
when we hit the 9th hole. Both he and I hit one in the jungle and since there was a
bit of a break in the foliage, we decided to go looking for balls. As we stepped
into the brush I felt like I stepped into the land of forgotten golf balls. They were
everywhere. I went down to the stream and found a spot where there were 5 balls
pilled on top of each other. At first I thought an animal was stock pilling them,
but more likely the steam settled them there. Joe had all that he could hold, and I
was pilling them in my towel, as E yelled down to us…”GET UP HERE, THE
PEOPLE BEHIND US ARE TEEING OFF.” I grabbed a few more and ran up to
the fairway. All excited I cranked a shot onto the green and tapped out.
Definitely my highlight from the front nine…pathetic huh.
We stopped at the pro-shop to grab some hot dogs. They were out of
dogs, so I grabbed some pretzels. Eric was pissed and got talked into buying a
marinated spam roll. I think it was as bad as it sounds because he chucked half of
it. The 11th hole was a beautiful par 3 with the green sitting on an island in a
swamp. We all teed off about 3 times each with only one ball not going into the
woods. It was all down hill from there. I went into the woods on another ball
hunt. As I came out with an additional 8, Matt was using Joe’s pitching wedge to
chop open a coconut. We blasted it open and had a snack. Not finishing the hole,
we proceeded to the next. As I teed off, E Miller attempted to knock down
another coconut from a tree with his driver. He was about as successful at getting
it down as we were in finishing our round. . After spending what seemed like 3
hours on the front nine, I think we were all a bit tired and our golfing
showed…we sucked. Matty started Happy Gilmoring his drives and the rest of us
continued spraying our shots all over the course. We decided to call it a day and
headed back to The Banyan.
After a hot tub with some Japanese dudes, we got dressed for Halloween. I have
been into Elvis ever since I saw a documentary called “The Way it Was” last
winter. I scored a white jump suit at a costume store in Baltimore before I left. I
started growing my sideburns out and even got to ware the jump suit the Saturday
before I left at McFadden’s in Bmore. Other Crease Monkeys ranged in their
preparedness. Joe High and Willsy walked down stairs and were back in 15
minutes with homemade costumes from the ABC Store. If you have never been
to Waikiki, there is an ABC convenient store every block. Willsy went as Don
Filthy Hoa. He took a fish net shopping bag and cut holes in it for a shirt. Joe
scored a pregnant woman’s beach dress and hat …both turned out sweet. We pregamed it for a bit and headed over to Arnold’s to meet up with other tournament
people. We were some of the first to show, so we made our self at home. After
an hour or so it started to pick up. Most other teams had just flown in during the
day, so it was the first time seeing a lot of people. At about 11:30 we jumped in
cabs and went to a club called The Maze. The Maze is a club consisting of 3 or 4
dance rooms. We entered the Hip Hop room and I was content. I cut a little rug
with my Toyota home girls, before being pulled into room 2 by roommate
Brendan Bellotte. It took him a couple tries, but I decided to give it a shot. This
room was a bit bigger, but was only at about a quarter of the maximum
occupancy. I started busting a move. I don’t think I ventured out of a 10 yard
radius for the next 2-3 hours. For those of you who have never hung out with me
before, besides lacrosse, dancing is my other pastime.
I paused for a picture request here or a drink there, but kept it going until
around 3am when I decided to walk around. Most everyone I knew had left, but I
found Baltimore native turned Hawaiian resident Tony Brown and John Cili. At
3:30 they offered me a ride home. I declined but ended up cabbing it home about
10 minutes later. I got back to the room to see Brendan “rearranging” the
furniture. We hung out till about 5 and called it a night.
Thursday morning I got up and cruised upstairs to Kip, Matty, and Erik’s
room where I ran into our friend Yamada Yousuke who we had met last year at
the tourney and who was playing on our team this year. He gave me a gift, which
turned out to be a teacup with his school’s name and song printed on the side. We
gathered ourselves and headed down to the beach. Waikiki beach was about 2
blocks from our hotel. I stopped at an ABC store to get batteries for my radio,
while Kip entered a surf shop to buy a board. We set up shop on the beach, as
everyone besides Yousuke, and myself rented boards and jumped in the water. I
lasted about 15 minutes before I had to get a board and try my hand at surfing.
The waves were breaking about 150 yards out so even paddling the 12-foot
boards out was quite the workout. When I made it out to the rest of our crew, I
was pretty well spent. For the most part we just lounged on our boards, shooting
the bull, and checking out the scenery. Reido and Cili caught a couple waves, but
I was getting no love. I noticed this one surfer girl who seemed to catch every
wave, so I decided to hang out near her. I got a little closer to actually catching a
wave, but it seamed that everywhere I went, the waves started breaking
somewhere else. I gave it the old college try, but couldn’t put it all together.
After 3 near misses, I decided to catch a wave and head in. Although I felt
awesome when I headed out an hour and a half earlier, the combination of lack of
food and prevalence of sun left me feeling like a 1975 Elvis before his daily dose
of pain medication. I decided to cut my loses and paddle in. As I reached the
shore and pulled my board out of the water, I detected a burning sensation on the
bottom of my foot. Apparently I had stepped on the reef, because my foot was
sliced open. Simply walking on the sand was quite uncomfortable.
We walked back to the hotel, hot-tubbed it and got ready to depart for the
Luau. A tour bus picked us up at our hotel and took a group of 60 to Paradise
Cove. Our group consisted of Monkees, Toyota Women, another group of
Baltimore women laxers, and friends. The first hour was a bit slow, highlighted
by spear chucking. I opted not to throw, but was extremely entertained by others
who did. Gewas had the best throw of the evening as he “snow snaked” his spear
side arm right in the target (apparently Gewas played a game when he was
younger called snow snake involving spears). After being ravaged by fire ants, we
watched one of the Paradise Cove natives, shimmy up a palm tree and toss out lei
petals…not bad. Next was a lame mock fishing exposition, followed by the Imu
Amphitheater ceremony. At the ceremony, hula dancers and singers entertained
us before the unburying of the luau pig; which was cooked by placing hot rocks
inside the pig.
At last it was dinnertime. Because we had purchased the gold package,
we ate on the porch overlooking the rest of the luauers and the main stage. As the
free booze began, more hulla dancers and male warrior dancers entertained us.
My table included Yousuke, Matt Clune, John Cili, Stacey Caslin, Heather K, and
Anne Heine. Dinner consisted of authentic Polynesian food including the poi
appetizer. We were warned jokingly before dinner by the MC that only tourist eat
poi. Apparently it is real good for you so I had a bit…I will eat almost anything if
you tell me its good for me. I picked up a few new dance moves and started
shooting my mouth off about becoming a hula dancer if my lacrosse career ever
falls through. I piped down however, when the fire dancers came out. This one
guy started twirling a stick with flames on both ends all around his body. With
my propensity for my hair catching on fire, I am not sure if fire dancer is really
the direction I want to head.
After we finished eating, we all started to wander to the bus. Stopping for
“one for the road,” we started talking to a hula dancer who said she was coming to
watch us play on Saturday. Gewas started to speak and then held back. She
asked what he was going to say, and Gewas replied, “I have too much respect for
you (to say what I was going to say).” This reply made it as one of three of his
best pick-up lines for the week. Number 2 “I love you.” And Gewas’ number 1
pickup line of the week…”I’m native, your native…let’s do this.”
The return trip featured part 2 of TR’s DJ Bus Party, which went off
without a hitch. We got back to Waikiki and headed to Mooses’. Tonight was
Mooses’ best night by far, with a raging 70’s band, the dance party started upon
entrance. Reid Jackson ripped it up with his energetic aerobic style movements;
which lead to his capturing 1st Team All Dance Squad and was elected Best
Monkey Dancer of the Tourney, beating me out by 3 votes.
Friday morning was dedicated to sleep. There was a press conference at
Compadres, so Harry, Erik, Reid and myself went over to have some lunch and
talk some lax. The food was awesome. We spent a few minutes afterwards,
taking pictures and explaining how the Hawaii Lacrosse Tournament fits into our
year of lacrosse. After lunch, we went to the game fields where we were suppose
to have a scrimmage with O Club. For some reason they did not want to play us,
so instead, we scrimmaged the Japanese squads. Kim Gray presided as ref. On
the first play of the game, Hamilton Pollard leveled a Japanese player on the
receiving end of a buddy-pass, drawing and instantaneous whistle. Our team
looked very sloppy, and I think we either tied or loss the second scrimmage.
Yousuke, ripped a high bouncer into the upper corner against the team he now
coaches. The other highlight was Erik Miller’s “slowest dodge of all time,” in
which three Japanese defenders draped on him as he slumbered to the goal for a
shot.
We hit the hot tub for about an hour, showered up and headed to Kapono’s
at the Aloha Tower for the pre-tourney kick-off party. The group I road over with
decided to hit the food court as I opted for the party. I spotted Mark Tarone,
Tournament Host, so I walked over to say hi. Within a matter of minutes, the
Japanese players swarmed me for pictures. Typically one of these photo shoots
goes as follows: A group of 4 to 6 guys ask for a picture and then take turns
getting in the picture. By Sunday I had come to recognize some of the players,
and realized I had gotten my picture taken as many as 4 or so times with some
individuals. After the photo shoot I walked around to see who was there. I found
a stool next to Suzy Waire at the bar and gladly took a seat. I ordered a raw fish
medley and chilled for a bit. Friday at Kapono’s turned out to be a pleasantly
mellow evening. There was a live band with a bit of dancing, but the closest I got
to the dance floor was when Lelie tried to get me to step in and save this one
woman from dance partner hell. This guy, who looked like Screetch from Saved
By the Bell, had asked someone to dance and proceeded to bounce and flail
around without any regard to the groove. I thought he was sweet, but by the
expression on his partner, I don’t think she was as amused. Although I use to be a
lifeguard in high school, and posses the saving instinct, I didn’t feel this situation
warranted a rescue mission. I sat there amused for at least a half hour watching
Screetch let loose on unsuspecting females.
Most everyone from the party had left, so we decided to roll over to
Mooses’. Mooses’ came up lame, so a group headed back to Waikiki Banyan for
a late night hot tub. I was escorted by Cili, Gewas, and Tory, but when we
reached the tub we found it cold. Tory called it a night, while we sat around and
b.s.’ed for a half hour before turning in.
Since the Crease Monkeys had won the tournament last year, we got
hooked with game times. We squared off against Barbary Coast at 1 on Saturday.
We started out slow, going down 2-1 at the half. We picked things up in the
second half though scoring 7 unanswered finishing with an 8-2 win. We had
about an hour off between games, so I scored a half hour rub down at the massage
tent. As I have gotten older and my body tends to act up from time to time, I have
found that massage is the best thing for my muscles. Game 2 matched us against
Japan East. We faired a bit better than the day before. Most Japanese players
only get to play competitively for a couple years while going to University. In
general, they are fundamentally sound with quick change of direction moves.
Their outside shots, however, did not prove to be too much of a challenge for the
Miller Brothers. Crease Monkeys 10 Japan East 4.
Upon completion of the game, we headed across the street to the beach
where the outrigger boat races were already underway. After last year’s debacle
in which we tipped both in the practice run and during the race after ramming
another boat; this year we beefed up our line-up and lobbied for a more competent
steerer. This year’s crew featured returning oarsmen Matt Schearer and myself
along with Kip Fulks, Jake Bergey, and Mark Frye. The Hawaiian teams take
great pride in the outrigger races, because they figure if they don’t win that lax
tournament, they at least should win the races. We had a respectable showing on
the ¾ mile race finishing second about 30 yards behind the Hawaiian team. Due
to the competitive nature of the members of our boat, we were pissed about
loosing, but I tried to look on the bright side. One we didn’t tip, and secondly we
didn’t have to row again. Instead I relaxed on the beach with Heather and Anne
until the main event. No not the outrigger finals, but “snorkel races.”
While the American and Canadian laxers relaxed with an adult beverage,
the Japanese entertained themselves by burying each other in the sand and
throwing one another in the water. We noticed a game going on in which two
people lay flat on their stomach with their arms folded under their chin. At go,
they sprung up and raced for a snorkel stuck in the sand about 30 yards down the
beach. Each race would inevitably end in both competitors diving for the snorkel
with the winner jacking up the front of their shorts in a mocking sort of victory
dance. It took some prodding, but we got John Ciliberto to take on the Japanese
champion. Cili got a great jump and beat his opponent to the snorkel, but
nonchalantly grabbed at it. He ended up fumbling the snorkel and the Japanese
kid grabbed it winning the match. Kip Fulks was next. On his race for the
snorkel, they were pretty much neck and neck. As they dove for the win, Kip
slammed the Japanese kid with his left arm and grabbed the snorkel with his right.
As they stood up, the front of the Japanese kid was covered in sand, and he stood
holding his chin as if he had just been run over by an all terrain vehicle. The
crowd of at least 100 now cheered on Harry to race. Crease Monkey legend has it
that Harry once body slammed an instigator at an impromptu sumu challenge a
couple of years back at the New Orleans tournament. What’s great about that
story is that being slammed embarrassed the guy to the point that he got up and
wanted another go. Harry proceeded to slam him a second time. That was a
replaced hip ago, but Harry was up for today’s event. The Japanese Champion
spotted Harry 5 yards, but as they both jumped up to race for the snorkel, Joe
High and Cili tackled Harry’s challenger allowing Harry to jog in for the win.
The grand finale featured a rematch between Ciliberto and the same kid
who had been racing for the past half hour. This time Cili made sure on his grab.
His celebration dance started with a self-imposed frontal wedgey like the ones we
had witnessed the Japanese doing earlier. The crowd absolutely lost it when he
started gesticulating with the snorkel.
We headed back to the hotel, and today’s pregame soak involved a cold
tub. Nonetheless, we stayed in for at least an hour because we were so
entertained by a couple Canadian stewardesses who were in town for a softball
tournament. We ate dinner at Duke’s. I got the raw Sashimi, which was about as
delicious as food could be. It melted in your mouth. Don’t forget it was last year
that I ate raw fish with chopsticks for the first time. Anywho, after dinner we
traveled across town to John Domini’s for another tournament party. This place
was swank. Equipped with 70’s style rugs and an artificial river full with 2 foot
“goldfish.” The dance floor had a pretty consistent attendance with a spectacular
view of Waikiki from across the bay. I maintained a pretty good balance of
talking with people and stirring it up on the dance floor. When 2 o’clock hit, we
tried to figure out the best place to go. T Brown suggested Pipeline, while Mark
Tarone thought The Wave or The Ocean would be a better fit. We tried The
Wave, but some in our party didn’t meet the dress requirement. The Ocean let us
in and I tried mixing it up with dancers there, but “hit the wall” and grabbed a cab
home with Wilsy.
Once again we got squared with a late start as the semi-finals kicked off at
1pm. We matched up against the Olympic Club. After having a few games
under our belt, we started playing pretty well. If it wasn’t for fellow NESCAC
alum Andy McDonald (Williams College), the 9-5 final could have been worse.
The other semi-final featured Marin and Michelob. Michelob sported Ryan
Powell, Brian Silcott, and Randy Frasier, but lost in OT on a fluke goal.
The Final was a rematch of last year in which the Monkeys dethroned
Marin. Matt Fields put together a solid squad as usual with the likes of Matt
Ogelsby, Todd Eikleberger, and Lorn Smith. Marin dominated time of possession
early on and went up 2-1 for a bit; before Jake Bergey, Billy Serino, and Gewas
Schindler opened the floodgates. A 12-6 Final capped off a physical and
energetic game. Following the game, we traded stuff with the Japanese teams.
Harry brought a bag full of leftover Crease Monkey Paraphernalia for us to trade
with. I scored a 2002 Japanese National Team T-shirt. The best trade of the day
was pulled off by John Ciliberto who scored a sky blue T that says Do
You….Justy? And believe me he does. The Toyota women were awarded a
trophy for their 18-2 win over Hero’s. All-Tourney Team for the men included
Matt Scheerer, Billy Serino, Erik Miller, Brendan Bellotte, John Ciliberto, John
Grant Jr, Todd Eikleberger, Brian Doyle, and myself. We hung out for a few,
then packed in our Jeep and headed back to the hotel for our final hot tub.
The night’s festivities kicked off at Duke’s where a buffet was set up and
ready to tear into when we arrived. After dinner, we awarded Yousuke with his
game jersey signed by the Crease Monkey squad. Harry had just gotten a new set
of jersey’s with a full array of numbers along with the letters X and Y. He had
also ordered a 1/8 for his son Harry Jr, thinking it would be a kids size. When it
came back in normal sizing, we thought it only appropriate to have our friend
Yousuke ware it. We stuck around for a couple Hawaiian Teas before cruising to
our final party of the weekend… a tournament rap-up at Compadres. John
Langan, a member of the Hawaiian Team, is also manager of Compadres. This
year’s turnout well surpassed last years, and proved to be one of the most fun gettogethers of the week. Bud Cerio and the Now, along with special guests to be
named later, pumped out the live music. About two hours into the party, I was
called into the main room, because Jeff Wills was about to go on. Lorn Smith
was already on stage accompanying the group on guitar, while Yousuke was
mastering the art of tambourine. Willsy respectfully subbed in on drums and
proceeded to tear the joint up. It was awesome. Not that I usually need much of
anything to get me on the dance floor, so I was passed the big sombrero and
started shaking what my mamma gave me. 2am seemed to come way too fast.
We decided to pay tribute one more time to our good old friend Moose
Magilicuty. For some reason instead of continuing the dance party, I set up shop
at the far corner of the bar and spent the next hour shooting it with the Seattle
contingent… Janice, Steve, and Bissell. Once again closing time came way too
soon so we tried to get a late night going back at the room, but unfortunately
lacked adequate refreshments. So instead I sat around with Gewas, Bellotte, and
Zonk laughing at the stupid stuff that was coming out of peoples mouths at 4 in
the morning, until probably close to 5.
When I woke up on Monday morning, every muscle in my body was sore
and I felt like I had pulled about four of them (an estimated two pulls from
playing and two from dancing). The combination of playing and dehydration had
wreaked havoc on my system. It took me about an hour to pack up before hitting
Denny’s one last time. We spent our last hours in Hawaii sitting on the beach.
Jake, Billy, and Tarik played football in the water while I was using all of my
energy just to sit up. Gewas got inspired to jump in the water and play “head
ball” with these two guys juggling a volleyball back and forth with their heads.
‘Was did ok for a rookie bouncing it twice off his head before passing it on and
calling it a day. I guess it is true that all good things must come to an end.
Although I was looking forward to sleeping on the flight home, I got screwed
with the very middle seat of the plane. Oh well. I got home Tuesday around
noon, and took care of some business for a few hours before needing another nap.
I feel like this year’s tournament surpassed all expectations of fun. Most
everyone involved had the time of their lives. The combination of fun people, a
beautiful environment, and a friendly atmosphere translates into a given on next
year’s lax tour. It is the Pro Bowl of lacrosse; just you don’t have to be an All
Star (at least in lacrosse) or a professional lacrosse player to attend…just a
lacrosse junkie like the rest of us.