Analysis of a Poem:
I thought that the idea of doing an analysis by reading the poem and doing tableaus to explain it
was a good idea. Your tone and emphasis on words along with the actions helped you to show
what you thought the poem was about and what parts you believed were important.
There were some things that did need improvement. While the acting out was entertaining I feel
that the analysis wasn’t very deep. You seem to only scratch the surface of the poem and not
what is deeper. Why did the poet choose these words and this form? Try to think of questions
like that when analyzing the poem. Or if you want to stick with this type of form for analyzing
maybe once you are done reading the poem you could explain your reading. What went into it?
How did you decide what actions should be used with the phrases? How did you decided what
person should act out the actions? I hope this helps with your next analysis.
C
Readers Theatre Performance:
I don’t know if this was supposed to be a movie or not because all I got was audio. If this was
just meant to be heard and not seen I don’t really know if this was analysis. The poem was
simply read. There was background noise to it, a beat added, but I don’t know if it really added
anything to the poem. There wasn’t much analysis done.
Analysis of an Advertisement
5 paragraph Essay
There are quiet a few grammar errors in your writing. Make sure you proofread your paper
before turning it in. Your thesis is very broad. Your introduction was great but your thesis could
use some work. Remember that when writing a thesis you want it to be more specific than your
introduction. Your supporting evidence is great. One thing that needs to be worked on is the
focus of your body paragraphs. Remember that each paragraph should have one idea that you
are focusing on. You are also using some run-on sentences. Try to eliminate sentences that
contain several thoughts and that are not focused. Also remember that when you have two short
sentences in a row that are focused on the same thing or end in the same phrase that you could
probably put them together. Some sentences are repetitive because of this. I love the analysis of
the changing leaves to the changing of technology! Ideas like this could be developed on more.
Perhaps they do this as a subliminal message to the consumer. In some of the later paragraphs
you are repeating ideas that you have already talked about. Try to avoid doing this. Your
conclusion really sums up your paper but try to have a conclusion that really grabs your reader’s
attention so they don’t forget your paper instead of restating what was said in your paper.
C
Subvertisement:
Nike Ad: I think that you had good ideas behind your subvertisement. You looked at what you
thought the ad was getting at. I agree with you, especially in your analysis section. It is true that
you never see professional athletes using this shoe to get high jumps. I think that you tried really
hard to look beyond the surface of the ad. Of course everyone can always improve. Maybe try
to go even deeper next time. Why did they just use one word? Overall good work
A
Captain Morgan’s Ad: Your subvertisement was great! I think you really looked at the ad at a
deeper level. You looked at what they were telling you and analyzed it yourself and found out
what the truth was. One problem is that you didn’t include an analysis. This is clearly part of
the assignment. If you would have included it you would have gotten an A. Remember next
time to read all the directions for the assignment before you turn it in. Talk to me about perhaps
writing up an analysis and turning it in so that you can get the grade that you deserve.
C
Analysis of a Play
Your introduction is good but it could use some work. Some ideas are a little repetitive. Your
thesis is great. You have a clear focus for you paper. The beginning of your first body
paragraph is missing something. Remember to proofread before you turn your paper in. When
you introduce a quote in your paper remember to explain it. Explain what is significant and why
it is in your paper. No drive by quotes! There a quite a few grammar and sentence structure
errors in your paper. Your conclusion is good but remember that it should leave the reader
remembering your paper. Try not to just sum up your paper. Another thing that needs work is
the development of your ideas. Remember that in order to get across your point you need to
explain the quotes and ideas to your best ability. But the ideas in your paper were great. You
really tried to show how The Crucible is still relevant today.
B
Issue Analysis:
The introduction was great. You brought in a personal experience to grab the readers attention.
Your thesis could use more focus. I would like to know your opinion on the matter. The ideas
behind your body paragraphs are good. You do have some grammar and sentence structure
errors though. I understand that this is a timed essay so you may not have time to go back and
reread but if you do always try to proofread your papers. Your second body paragraph is great. I
love the ideas behind it. Your conclusion is where we finally see your opinion. You should try
to show this earlier and use evidence to support your opinion. Overall the paper has strong ideas
and good support.
A