CORY IN THE HOUSE
“A Lil’ Naughty, A Lil’ CZ Nice”
by
Thedia Samara
1
ACT I
FADE IN:
INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY
CORY is overly enjoying an episode of Kung Fu Kats, they
cut to commercial, there is a broadcast.
NEWSCASTER
Listen up all you Lil’CZ Nice fans,
Lil’CZ Nice is taking his show on the road
starting with our very own
Washington, DC!
CORY
(excited)
Here…in Washington, DC?!
NEWSCASTER
That’s right here in Washington, DC!
Cory’s flabbergasted.
NEWSCASTER (cont’d)
While in the Washington, DC area,
Lil’CZ Nice will pay a visit to the White House where he
will have dinner with President Martinez!
CORY
(excited)
He’s coming here, to have dinner with President Martinez?
NEWSCASTER
(annoyed)
That’s right, he’s having dinner with President Martinez!
Cory’s dumbfounded.
NEWSCASTER (cont’d)
(relieved)
Now back to you, Rachel.
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CORY
(soft)
Wow! Lil’CZ Nice…here…at the White House!
Cory RUBS his hands together pondering the possibilities.
INT. WHITE HOUSE HALLWAY - SAME
Cory and MS. SAMUELS pass in the hallway.
CORY
Oh, Ms. Samuels, do you think that Lil’ CZ Nice would be
interested in hearing the hottest band in all of
Washington, DC?
MS. SAMUELS
Why of course, Cory, you know Lucy and the Lollipops?
CORY
(annoyed)
Lucy and the Lollipops?
Nah, Ms. Samuels!
(with pride)
I’m talking about my band, DC3!
MS. SAMUELS
Oh, I see…the kids…well…
Let me raise my voice for emphasis…NO!
Ms. Samuels walks away, Cory’s deflated.
EXT. QUAD - DAY
Cory is sitting at the table with MEENA and NEWT.
CORY
Guys, I’ve just heard that Lil’ CZ Nice is coming to visit
the White House!
MEENA
Wow, Lil’ CZ Nice? He’s like the coolest rapper around!
Can we play for him when he comes?
CORY
(dejected)
No, I’ve already asked Ms.Samuels, she didn’t go for it.
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MEENA
Ugh, we’ve got to let him hear our music!
CORY
Yeah, because if he hears our songs and likes them,
he may ask us to tour with him!
NEWT
Yeah…AND…he may ask us to tour with him!
Cory and Meena look at Newt with confusion.
MEENA
Why don’t we record a CD and give it to him?
CORY
That’s a great idea, Meena!
We’ll meet at the studio on Saturday, okay?
Newt and Meena agree.
INT. WHITE HOUSE - DAY
Through a crack in the White House’s library door,
PRESIDENT MARTINEZ has on a baseball cap, sideways, he’s
rapping to a Lil’ CZ Nice song. Cory peers in, then KNOCKS
and startles President Martinez.
CORY
Hello, President Martinez,
I see you’re pretty excited
about Lil’ CZ Nice coming to visit.
PRESIDENT MARTINEZ
Oh yes, Cory,
I am a big fan of his music.
CORY
Well lets cue him up then!
Cory and President Martinez play the Lil’ CZ Nice song.
President Martinez is very awkward trying to rap and DANCE
to the Lil’ CZ Nice song.
Lil’ CZ NICE
(raps on the radio)
I’m the 1,not the 3 or the 2,
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I like to rap,
and you know I make it do what it do,
I got to school…
Lil’ CZ NICE (cont’d)
and get all “A” s like I’m from Oakland,
don’t succeed the first time
I try again and keep hopin’
When the school bell rings,
I pack my bags and go home.
I stand up to the bullies,
and they leave me alone…
Cory and President Martinez strike a hip-hop POSE.
Cory is not impressed with the President’s performance.
PRESIDENT MARTINEZ
(excited)
Thanks, Cory, that felt great, how did I do?
CORY
(avoiding)
You’re welcome, President Martinez, you, uh…
A beat.
CORY (cont’d)
Maybe you’ll do better on your own,
without me in the way.
PRESIDENT MARTINEZ
Okay!
Cory plays the song, President Martinez is worse than he
was before, he nearly KNOCKS a group of books off a cart!
CORY
Ooo-whoa! Uh…okay…maybe we need to take it slow.
PRESIDENT MARTINEZ
Wait…wait…let me try it again…
President Martinez continues to stumble around.
CORY
(retreating)
Uh…well…oh…COMING DADDY!
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Cory FLEES from the library!
INT. RECORDING STUDIO - DAY
DC 3 records their demo CD to give to Lil’ CZ Nice.
MEENA
(sings)
Everybody knows situations change people drift away,
but I promise I’ll always stay the same
(always stay the same).
And I’ll be thinking of you when the rain won’t stop
and there’s nothing to do, but hold tight
(hold tight)
I'll be thinking of you.
A beat.
MEENA(cont’d)
Cool, now let’s hope he likes it!
CORY
Hope he likes it?!
A DC3 jam?!
Girl, don’t nobody jam like DC3!
NEWT
Holla!
MEENA
So, how are we going to get the CD to Lil’ CZ Nice?
CORY
Here’s the plan, Lil’ CZ Nice will be having dinner at the
White House so, a dinner needs someone to serve it right?
MENA
(catching on)
Oohhh!
NEWT
(pretending)
Oohhh!
CORY
Okay cool, so everyone is on board!
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Newt RAISES his hand.
CORY (cont’d)
What’s the matter, Newt?
NEWT
(embarrassed)
I’m not on board.
CORY
But you just said, “Oohhh”!
NEWT
Yeah, I don’t know why…
CORY
(sighs)
Okay, here’s where I’m going!
Newt looks around as if Cory is going somewhere.
NEWT
Where you going?
CORY
(rolls his eyes)
Meena, we need disguises.
MEENA
Got it!
CORY
Tomorrow at 4pm we’ll meet here, just outside the kitchen,
I’ll sneak you guys into the pantry until dinner time,
Then, we’ll put on the disguises and pretend to be the
servers, after dessert,
we’ll slip a copy of the CD to Lil’ CZ Nice!
MEENA
Oh, that’s a great plan, Cory!
CORY
Thank you!
(slyly)
And it’s just crazy enough to work!
7
INT. WHITE HOUSE HALLWAY - DAY
Cory’s walking down the hall passing out DC3 CD’s to
everyone he meets.
CORY
(proud)
Here you go, hot off the presses!
Cory spots President Martinez and gives him a CD.
CORY (cont’d)
There you go, President Martinez!
Hot off the press!
PRESIDENT MARTINEZ
(examining the CD)
Thanks, Cory!
INT. KITCHEN - DAY
Chef Victor is preparing the food for the Lil’ CZ Nice
dinner.
CORY
Hey, Daddy, what cha cooking?
CHEF VICTOR
Hi, Cory, I’m preparing Lil’ CZ Nice’s favorite dish for
tonight's dinner, shrimp scampi
and a 7-layer red velvet cake for dessert!
CORY
Sounds great, need any help?
CHEF VICTOR
Thank you, Cory, come back later
and I’ll let you help me with the cake.
CORY
Sure, Daddy!
Cory RUBS his hands together pondering the possibilities.
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ACT II
INT. KITCHEN - SAME
LIL’ CZ NICE and President Martinez enter the kitchen.
CHEF VICTOR
Hello, Mr. President, Mr. Nice, it’s a pleasure to meet
you, my son, Cory is a big fan! I expect him to join us
later.
LIL’ CZ NICE
Nice meeting you too, Chef Victor.
I hope to meet your son, I always like to meet a fan.
And please call me Lil’ CZ.
CHEF VICTOR
(trying to act cool)
Oh, okay, aight, Lil’ CZ, fo’ sho’
President Martinez and Lil’ CZ Nice give each other a
puzzled look.
CHEF VICTOR
(embarrassed)
Ehem…in honor of your first visit to the White House,
I am preparing your favorite dish,
shrimp scampi, and for dessert…
a 7-layer red velvet cake!
LIL’ CZ NICE
Thanks, Chef Victor,
that’s pretty cool of you!
CHEF VICTOR
You’re welcome, Lil’ CZ.
PRESIDENT MARTINEZ
Chef Victor, I’m going to show Lil’ CZ Nice
around the White House,
we’ll let you get started on your masterpiece of a meal!
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CHEF VICTOR
Sure, Mr. President, Lil‘ CZ,
I’ll see you at dinner.
President Martinez and Lil’ CZ Nice exit the kitchen.
PRESIDENT MARTINEZ
(to Lil’ CZ Nice)
How do you like my cap? Is it fly?
LIL’CZ NICE
Uh…nah…not really.
PRESIDENT MARTINEZ
(embarrassed-takes the cap off)
Oh, okay.
INT. OUTSIDE KITCHEN - SAME
Cory, Newt and Meena walk up, outside Cory finalizes their
plan.
CORY
Okay, when I sneak you guys into the pantry, Newt,
I’m going to pass you a couple of servers jackets
for you and Meena.
I’m going to knock twice and go,
(makes a sound)
got it?
NEWT
Got it!
CORY
Meena, did you get the disguises?
MEENA
(holds a shopping bag up)
They’re right here!
CORY
Great! Now wait here.
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INT. KITCHEN - SAME
Cory enters the kitchen and prepares to sneak Newt and
Meena into the pantry.
CORY
(to Chef Victor)
Junior Chef Cory here reporting for duty!
Cory salutes.
CHEF VICTOR
Great, Cory, first rule of the culinary arts, look the
part!
There’s a chef's jacket over there on the hook,
grab it and put it on.
Cory takes the chef’s jacket off the hook and puts it on.
He sneaks the CD into his jacket pocket.
CHEF VICTOR
Okay, Junior Chef Cory, here’s what I need you to do.
I have the batter already beaten,
you just need to pour it into the cake pans.
CORY
(salutes-using the wrong phrase)
Aye-aye Captain!
Chef Victor turns his back to continue cooking, Cory
motions to Newt and Meena to enter. Chef Victor turns
slightly, Meena, Cory and Newt freeze and POSE as if Chef
Victor wouldn’t be able to see them.
CORY
(distracting his dad)
Hey, Dad, is that what you would call a grease fire?
CHEF VICTOR
Oh my goodness, Cory, where?!
With Chef Victor distracted, Cory sneaks Meena and Newt
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into the pantry.
CORY
(pretending to be embarrassed)
Oh, my bad, I think that’s called boiling water.
Chef Victor SHAKES his head.
Cory goes over to the closet where the server’s jackets
are. He removes two for Meena and Newt.
CHEF VICTOR
Where are you going with those jackets, Cory?
CORY
Oh, these? Just in case I spill something on this one and
then…uh…spill something else on this one here!
CHEF VICTOR
(confused)
Oh, okay then.
Cory sneaks over to the pantry with the jackets. He KNOCKS
and makes the code sound.
CORY
Ehem!
(makes the call)
Newt, inside playing air guitar doesn’t hear it.
CORY (cont’d)
I said,
(KNOCKS and repeats the call)
Newt still doesn’t respond.
CORY (cont’d)
(annoyed)
For the love of Pete,
(KNOCKS hard and repeats the call)
Meena TAPS Newt. Newt JUMPS, STICKS his arm out of the
pantry and feels around as if he’s blind. Cory GRABS Newt’s
arm to guide him and hands him the jackets.
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CORY(cont’d)
(shaking off his frustration)
Now,let me make the cake!
Cory goes over to the kitchen island, as he fills the pans
with batter, he’s over-enthusiastically singing a Lil’ CZ
Nice song.
CORY(cont’d)
(raps)
I’m the 1,not the 3 or the 2,
I like to rap
and you know I make it do what it do.
I got to school,
and get all “A” s like I’m from Oakland,
don’t succeed the first time
I try again and keep hopin’
When the school bell rings,
I pack my bags and go home.
I stand up to the bullies,
and they leave me alone.
Cory reaches overhead to release another pan to fill with
batter. The DC3 CD falls onto the floor. Cory accidentally
kicks it underneath the kitchen island. Cory continues to
fill the cake pans.
CORY(cont’d)
All done, Daddy!
CHEF VICTOR
Thank you, Cory, that was very nice of you to help out.
CORY
You’re welcome, Daddy!
(unconvincingly)
Okay, Daddy, I’m going to be going now,
to my room, all the way, over there,
way over that way.
CHEF VICTOR
(preoccupied with his cooking)
Yeah…sure…okay, Cory.
Chef Victor with his back turned doesn’t see Cory slip into
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the pantry, Chef Victor rushes to the kitchen door.
CHEF VICTOR (cont’d)
(calling out)
Cory, wait, don’t you want to meet Lil’ CZ Nice?!
Chef Victor doesn’t see Cory, he shrugs his shoulders and
goes back to his cooking.
INT. PANTRY - SAME
Meena pulls the disguises out of the bag.
CORY
(examining the disguises)
Meena, where did you get these crazy disguises?!
MEENA
Disguises “R” Us, you do not like them?
Cory puts on an enormous “Elvis” wig and black mustache.
CORY
Well, let’s just say they’re a little over the top!
(then)
Ugh, we have no other choice, let’s just put them on!
Cory, Meena and Newt put the disguises on.
INT. KITCHEN - SAME
Cory, Newt and Meena emerge from the pantry closet. Newt is
wearing a rainbow afro wig and ugly, rotted, fake teeth;
Meena is wearing a platinum blonde curly wig and a pair of
eye glasses with the fake nose attached.
CHEF VICTOR
(oblivious)
Great the servers are here,
you guys want to take the appetizers out?
CORY
(to Newt and Meena)
Okay, act natural!
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CORY (cont‘d)
(disguising his voice)
Sure, Daddy…uh…I mean, Chef Daddy…er…uh…Chef Victor!
MEENA
(to Cory)
Way to act natural!
CORY
Let‘s go!
Cory, Newt and Meena wheel out a cart of appetizers,
seasoning, and condiments.
INT. DINING ROOM - SAME
President Martinez, First Lady Martinez and Sophie are all
seated at the table with Lil’ CZ Nice. Newt, Meena and Cory
enter.
CORY
(to Newt and Meena)
Meena, you and I will serve the appetizers,
Newt, you are in charge of seasoning and condiments,
got it?
Newt and Meena nod “Yes”.
CORY
(nervously disguising his voice)
Er…ah…we have your appetizers here.
Cory and Meena begin to serve the appetizers. Cory is so
nervous he nearly drops the food on Lil’ CZ Nice!
CORY (cont’d)
(disguising his voice)
Oh,uh,’scuse me, first day, you know!
Newt, Meena and Cory try to hurry out.
LIL’CZ NICE
(to the “servers”)
Excuse me?
Newt, Meena and Cory freeze and POSE in awkward positions.
15
LIL’CZ NICE (cont‘d)
May I have some cracked pepper, please?
Cory, Newt and Meena all look at each other. Newt is
holding the pepper mill!
NEWT
(nervously)
Uh, sure.
Newt goes over to CHURN the pepper and has a lot of
trouble. He’s struggling so much so, he begins to SHAKE his
disguise off, Cory RUNS over to help.
CORY
Here, New,
Cory catches himself.
CORY (cont’d)
(disguising his voice)
New…uh…kid…uh, on the block,
yeah see he’s even newer than me,
you know, a rookie and all dat,
you know what I’m sayin‘?
Cory presents his fist to Lil’ CZ Nice to hit. Lil’ CZ Nice
throws him a perplexed look.
CORY(cont’d)
Right…oh…okay.
Cory GRABS Newt.
CORY(cont’d)
Let’s go!
Cory, Newt and Meena rush back into the kitchen.
CHEF VICTOR
(preoccupied)
Please take the entree plates out, guys, I have to finish
frosting the cake, thanks!
CORY
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(disguising his voice)
Sure, Daddy…uh…I mean, Chef Daddy, er…uh…Chef Victor!
Meena rolls her eyes.
Cory, Newt and Meena grab the entree plates.
INT. DINING ROOM - SAME
Newt, Cory and Meena serve the entrees.
SOPHIE
(soft)
There’s something very fishy about those servers.
Meena gives Sophie a plate.
SOPHIE
(forgetting her suspicions)
Ooo,shrimp scampi, my favorite!
PRESIDENT MARTINEZ
Word!
Everyone throws President Martinez a curious look.
INT. KITCHEN - SAME
Cory, Newt and Meena file back in to the kitchen.
Chef Victor is washing his hands.
CORY
(disguising his voice)
Daddy…uh…I mean…Chef Daddy…er…uh…Chef Victor!
We’re going to wheel this big, beautiful cake
and coffee out next, okay?
CHEF VICTOR
Oh, I’ll go with you,
I’d like the honor of cutting it.
CORY
(rushing out)
Oh, uh…yeah, we’ll just…
Cory, Newt and Meena try to hurry and wheel the cake out
before Chef Victor can finish washing his hands.
17
Chef Victor TURNS to see them gone, looks confused and
heads for the dining room.
INT. DINING ROOM - SAME
Cory, Newt and Meena begin to serve the coffee, in rushes
Chef Victor.
CHEF VICTOR
Lil’ CZ Nice, it was a pleasure to have you here to dine
with us at the White House, I hope you enjoyed your meal.
LIL’CZ NICE
I did, Chef Victor, thank you.
CHEF VICTOR
You’re welcome, and now,
the piece de résistance,
your favorite dessert,
red velvet cake!
Chef Victor begins to CUT and serve the cake.
CORY
(to Newt and Meena)
Okay, here’s our chance!
Cory puts his hands in his pockets and doesn’t find the CD.
He PATS all of his pockets, he PATS Newts pockets, then he
PATS Meena’s pocket! Cory wails in disappointment.
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ACT III
INT. DINING ROOM - SAME
Cory’s frantic.
CORY
(to Newt and Meena)
The CD,I can’t find it!
MEENA
What do you mean you can’t find it!
CORY
(panicking)
WHAT DOES I CAN’T FIND IT MEAN?
A beat.
MEENA
Okay, calm down,
where did you have it last?!
CORY
(takes a deep breath)
Okay, where did I have it last,
I had it last, where?
A beat.
CORY (cont’d)
(recounting)
I went into the kitchen,
I put it into this pocket,
I poured the cake batter,
Cory and Meena look at each other in shock!
MEENA
You don’t suppose,CORY
(wining)
OH,NO!
Newt’s staring into oblivion. Cory and Meena give Newt a
confused look.
19
NEWT
(reacting late)
OH,NO!
CORY
(frantic)
It must’ve fallen out of my pocket
and into the cake batter!
MEENA
What are we going to do!
CORY
Whatever you do, don’t let them eat that cake!
Newt and Meena nod “Okay”.
CORY (cont’d)
Okay, on the count of three,
it’s red velvet cake crunch time!
Are we ready?
MEENA
Ready!
NEWT
Ready!
CORY
Okay, let’s get rid of that cake!
One…two…three!
Cory, Newt and Meena rush over to the dinner table and
start SMACKING the cake off of plates and forks.
CORY
Look out! ‘Scuse us!
MEENA
Sorry, so sorry!
NEWT
Pardon us…
CORY
Ooops, did I get cha?!
20
Cory, Newt and Meena cover every person in red velvet cake
chunks!
FIRST LADY MARTINEZ
(gasping)
Oh, oh my!
CORY
Oh,my bad, First Lady!
NEWT
Heads up!
SOPHIE
(giggling, joining in)
This is fun!
CHEF VICTOR
Hey, hey, stop this right now,
what are you guys doing?
What’s going on here?!
Cory sees there’s still a lot of cake left to be cut.
A thought catches in Cory’s eyes.
CORY
Here goes nuthin’!
Uggghhhh!
Cory CHARGES at the cake and SMASHES it to smithereens!
FIRST LADY MARTINEZ
(gesturing to faint)
Ohhhh!
Red velvet cake flies everywhere while Cory, Newt and Meena
continue to look for the CD!
CORY
Oh man,oh man!
While the hullabaloo ensues, Newt and Meena SLIP and FALL
over each other.
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NEWT
Whoooa!
MEENA
Eeeek!
Cory loses his disguise!
CORY
Uggghhh!
CHEF VICTOR
Cory?!
What on earth are you doing?!
What’s all this?!
Sophie RUNS over to Newt and Meena and RIPS their wigs off!
Embarrassed, they JUMP up!
SOPHIE
AH-HA! I KNEW IT!
CORY
Daddy…wait…please, I’m sorry!
We were just trying to give
Lil’CZ Nice a copy of our CD.
LIL’CZ NICE
You mean, this CD?
(holds up DC3’s CD)
MEENA
Yes, how did you?
LIL’CZ NICE
President Martinez gave it to me before dinner,
(wiping cake off)
he said I’d really like it.
CHEF VICTOR
Lil’ CZ Nice, I apologize for Cory’s actions,
please let me show you to our restrooms,
(to Cory)
You are in big trouble young man!
22
Chef Victor escorts Lil’ CZ Nice from the dining room,
every other cake covered person in the room slowly heads
for Cory, Newt and Meena.
NEWT
Now, now…let’s not get emotional here!
MEENA
(calming voice)
Yes, everybody take a deep breath!
Newt and Meena’s tactics aren’t working.
CORY
(nervous)
Uh, wait a minute, I…I can explain!
Newt and Meena rush out leaving Cory cowering behind as the
angry mob inches closer.
CORY
(retreating)
Wait, it was all a misunder, uh,
COMING DADDY!
Cory bolts!
END OF SHOW
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