Peer Response
Author of the Paper__________________________ Feedback Given by ___________________________________
Answer all of the following questions about your partner's paper. Return this paper and the essay to your partner before
you leave today.
Introductory Paragraph
1. What style of hook does your peer start his/her essay with (quote, fact, story or theme statement)? If the hook is
stated in the form of a question, it must be revised!
2. Is the hook effective and clear? Why or why not?
3. Is there an effective explanation of the hook that shows a clear connection of how it relates to the novel? Why or
why not?
4. Does the introduction state the title of the novel in italics and the author’s first and last name (spelled correctly)?
Yes _____
No. My partner needs to fix it. _____
5. Is the thesis statement the last sentence in the introductory paragraph? Underline the thesis statement and label it
in the paper.
Yes _____
No. My partner needs to fix it. _____
6. Does the thesis have any forms of “to be” or “to have” verbs? (circle if any)
Yes, my partner needs to fix it._____
No, thesis is free of those useless verbs._____
7. Does thesis effectively address the prompt? Why or Why not?
8. After reading the introductory paragraph, what questions do you have that the writer doesn’t answer for his/her
audience? Write your question(s) Look at the body paragraphs:
Body Paragraph #1
9.
TOPIC SENTENCE: Does the topic sentence relate to the first idea expressed in the thesis statement?
Yes _____
No. My partner needs to fix it in paragraph number(s) _____
10. Does the topic sentence have any forms of “to be” or “to have” verbs? (circle if any)
Yes, my partner needs to fix it._____
No, thesis is free of those useless verbs._____
11. TRANSITION#1: Does the writer then use a clear transition that effectively moves the reader from the topic
sentence into the lead-in for evidence?
Yes _____
No. My partner needs to fix it _____
TRANSITION#2: Does the writer then use a clear transition that effectively moves the reader from from the
analysis into the second topic of the paragraph? Yes ____
No. My partner needs to fix it _____
12. LEAD-INS #1 and #2: Does the lead-in provide enough context while effectively introducing the piece of
evidence? Why or why not? (Check lead-in for details of who, what, where, and when, as well as a speaker and
attribution verb). Here is a lead-in example: As George and Lennie prepare to camp out in clearing, Lennie
pleads with George to tell him about their dream, and George says, “….”
13. EVIDENCE #1 and #2: Is the evidence clear (understandable) and is it a good fit for the topic of the paragraph?
Why or why not?
14. ANALYSIS/OPINION CHECK LIST:

Does the analysis come after the quote and not before?
Yes, it’s okay ______ No, revision needed_______

Does the analysis repeat the quote? Yes, it needs revision _____
no)

Does the analysis for evidence #1 demonstrate meaningful insight and explore reasons beyond surfacelevel ideas. For example, the analysis shows an explicit examination of tone and literal/figurative figures
of speech such as connotation, denotation, imagery, symbolism, and theme?
Yes, it’s great._____ No, revision needed_____

Doe the analysis include 1 meaningful text-to-text or text-to-world connection near the end?
Yes, it’s great._____ No, revision needed_____
No _____ (the answer is hopefully,
15. CONCLUDING SENTENCE: Does the concluding sentence effectively wrap-up the paragraph while transitioning
the reader into the second body paragraph? Yes, it’s great._____ No, revision needed_____
Body Paragraph #2
16. TOPIC SENTENCE: Does the topic sentence relate to the first idea expressed in the thesis statement?
Yes _____
No. My partner needs to fix it in paragraph number(s) _____
17. Does the topic sentence have any forms of “to be” or “to have” verbs? (circle if any)
Yes, my partner needs to fix it._____
No, thesis is free of those useless verbs._____
18. TRANSITION#1: Does the writer then use a clear transition that effectively moves the reader from the topic
sentence into the lead-in for evidence?
Yes _____
No. My partner needs to fix it _____
TRANSITION#2: Does the writer then use a clear transition that effectively moves the reader from from the
analysis into the second topic of the paragraph? Yes ____
No. My partner needs to fix it _____
19. LEAD-INS #1 and #2: Does the lead-in provide enough context while effectively introducing the piece of
evidence? Why or why not? (Check lead-in for details of who, what, where, and when, as well as a speaker and
attribution verb). Here is a lead-in example: As George and Lennie prepare to camp out in clearing, Lennie
pleads with George to tell him about their dream, and George says, “….”
20. EVIDENCE #1 and #2: Is the evidence clear (understandable) and is it a good fit for the topic of the paragraph?
Why or why not?
21. ANALYSIS/OPINION CHECK LIST:

Does the analysis come after the quote and not before?
Yes, it’s okay ______ No, revision needed_______

Does the analysis repeat the quote? Yes, it needs revision _____
no)

Does the analysis for evidence #1 demonstrate meaningful insight and explore reasons beyond surfacelevel ideas. For example, the analysis shows an explicit examination of tone and literal/figurative figures
of speech such as connotation, denotation, imagery, symbolism, and theme?
Yes, it’s great._____ No, revision needed_____

Doe the analysis include 1 meaningful text-to-text or text-to-world connection near the end?
Yes, it’s great._____ No, revision needed_____
No _____ (the answer is hopefully,
22. CONCLUDING SENTENCE: Does the concluding sentence effectively wrap-up the paragraph while transitioning
the reader into the second body paragraph? Yes, it’s great._____ No, revision needed_____
Body Paragraph #3 (if you have it)
1.
TOPIC SENTENCE: Does the topic sentence relate to the first idea expressed in the thesis statement?
Yes _____
No. My partner needs to fix it in paragraph number(s) _____
2. Does the topic sentence have any forms of “to be” or “to have” verbs? (circle if any)
needs to fix it._____
Yes, my partner
No, thesis is free of those useless verbs._____
3. TRANSITION#1: Does the writer then use a clear transition that effectively moves the reader from the topic
sentence into the lead-in for evidence?
Yes _____
No. My partner needs to fix it _____
TRANSITION#2: Does the writer then use a clear transition that effectively moves the reader from from the
analysis into the second topic of the paragraph? Yes ____
No. My partner needs to fix it _____
4. LEAD-INS #1 and #2: Does the lead-in provide enough context while effectively introducing the piece of
evidence? Why or why not? (Check lead-in for details of who, what, where, and when, as well as a speaker and
attribution verb).
5.
6. EVIDENCE: Is the evidence clear (understandable) and is it a good fit for the topic of the paragraph? Why or why
not?
7. ANALYSIS/OPINION CHECK LIST:
Does the analysis repeat the quote? Yes, it needs revision _____ No _____
Does the analysis come after the quote and not before?
Yes, it’s okay ______ No, revision needed_______
Does the analysis for evidence #1 demonstrate meaningful insight and explore reasons beyond surface-level
ideas. For example, the analysis shows an explicit examination of tone and literal/figurative figures of speech
such as connotation, denotation, imagery, symbolism, and theme?
Yes, it’s great._____ No, revision needed_____
8. CONCLUDING SENTENCE: Does the concluding sentence effectively wrap-up the paragraph while transitioning
the reader into the second body paragraph? Yes, it’s great._____ No, revision needed_____
Body Paragraph #4 (if you have it)
23. TOPIC SENTENCE: Does the topic sentence relate to the first idea expressed in the thesis statement?
Yes _____
No. My partner needs to fix it in paragraph number(s) _____
24. Does the topic sentence have any forms of “to be” or “to have” verbs? (circle if any)
Yes, my partner needs to fix it._____
No, thesis is free of those useless verbs._____
25. TRANSITION#1: Does the writer then use a clear transition that effectively moves the reader from the topic
sentence into the lead-in for evidence?
Yes _____
No. My partner needs to fix it _____
TRANSITION#2: Does the writer then use a clear transition that effectively moves the reader from from the
analysis into the second topic of the paragraph? Yes ____
No. My partner needs to fix it _____
26. LEAD-INS #1 and #2: Does the lead-in provide enough context while effectively introducing the piece of evidence?
Why or why not? (Check lead-in for details of who, what, where, and when, as well as a speaker and attribution verb). Here is
a lead-in example: As George and Lennie prepare to camp out in clearing, Lennie pleads with George to tell him about
their dream, and George says, “….”
27. EVIDENCE #1 and #2: Is the evidence clear (understandable) and is it a good fit for the topic of the paragraph?
Why or why not?
28. ANALYSIS/OPINION CHECK LIST:

Does the analysis come after the quote and not before?
Yes, it’s okay ______ No, revision needed_______

Does the analysis repeat the quote? Yes, it needs revision _____
no)

Does the analysis for evidence #1 demonstrate meaningful insight and explore reasons beyond surfacelevel ideas. For example, the analysis shows an explicit examination of tone and literal/figurative figures
of speech such as connotation, denotation, imagery, symbolism, and theme?
Yes, it’s great._____ No, revision needed_____

Doe the analysis include 1 meaningful text-to-text or text-to-world connection near the end?
Yes, it’s great._____ No, revision needed_____
No _____ (the answer is hopefully,
29. CONCLUDING SENTENCE: Does the concluding sentence effectively wrap-up the paragraph while transitioning
the reader into the second body paragraph? Yes, it’s great._____ No, revision needed_____
MLA Citations
Does each piece of evidence have an MLA parenthetical documentation at the end? CORRECT: Lennie says that he
wants to “live offa the fatta the land” (14). WRONG: (Pg. 14) or (Page 14)
Yes _____
No. My partner needs to fix it in paragraph number(s) _____
Style Corrections
1. Put a square around any no-no words: really, just, very, a lot, thing, would, should, something, anything,
everything, could, may might, if, I, me, you. How many no-no words does your partner need to fix? _____
2. Circle all contractions (don't, can't, wouldn't, etc. ). How many contractions does your partner need to fix?
3. Circle any past tense verbs (verbs not in Literary Present Tense). Some examples include was, had, made, used,
wanted, did, liked. How many past tense verbs does your partner need to fix? _____
4. Do circle-and-line with any repeats of key words. How many repeats did you circle that your partner needs to fix?
_____
Now What Grade Would You Give These Parts of the Paper? (Write a letter grade: A, A-, B+, B, B_...)
Introduction
Overall:
Hook
 The hook is a quote, a short story/scenario, or an insightful theme statement
that peaks the reader’s curiosity. The hook is not a question.
 The meaning of the hook is clearly and effectively explained or defined.
Relevant examples are part of the explanation.
Bridge
 The introduction shows how the hook relates to the prompt and the novel.
 The full name of the author and proper title of the novel/story are clearly stated.
Thesis
 The thesis addresses the prompt.
 The thesis shows a persuasive opinion beyond an obvious, superficial insight.
 The thesis does not exceed two sentences.
 The thesis is free of “to be” and “to have” verbs.
 The thesis sets up an explicit structure for the rest of the essay.
Paragraph
Basic Construction
 Paragraphs have proper construction: topic sentences, transitions, lead-ins,
more than one piece of evidence, analysis, and a concluding sentence. Nothing
is out of place in a way that confuses the reader.
Topic Sentences
 Topic sentences connect to a main idea in the thesis in the correct order of
ideas.
 Topic sentences show a clear persuasive opinion, not a mere fact or
observation.
 Topic sentences are free of “to be” and “to have” verbs.
Transitions inside Paragraphs
 Transitional phrases and sentences effectively help the reader move through
and understand the paragraph.
Lead-ins
 Lead-ins set the stage for the evidence. This means each lead-in communicates
the context/situation, the speaker, and shows attribution verbs such as “says” or
“states.”
 Lead-ins smoothly transition the reader into a direct quote or partial quote.
Evidence
 Evidence supports the topic sentence and is a compelling match for the subject
of the paragraph.
 Evidence is accurately quoted and cited.
Analysis/Commentary
 The paragraphs contain enough effective commentary to show how the
evidence supports the prompt.
 The analysis shows a new insight beyond an obvious, superficial observation.

The analysis neither repeats nor summarizes the evidence.
What suggestions to you have for improvements?
Overall: