“character chaos” roles

You are an evil and dastardly villain. You have a long mustache that you
twirl whenever you are plotting a scheme. You cackle evilly. Your
fingernails are very, very dirty, and you bite them.
You are a four-year-old boy. You enjoy sucking your thumb but know that
big boys aren’t supposed to do that, so you always catch yourself. Your
pants always slip down, so you have to keep tugging them up.
You are an old woman of ninety-two. You like to laugh like a hyena, and you
carry around your purse wherever you go. You wear a wig that is
constantly slipping down over one eye. You wiggle when you walk.
You are a massive St. Bernard dog. You carry around a barrel on your
collar in case you have to revive someone. You howl when you sense
danger. You drool because your tongue is always hanging out.
You are a twenty-two-year-old movie star. You are beautiful, with long,
flowing blonde curls. You like to play with your hair, and do it without even
realizing it. Your outfit is a little too skimpy for everyday wear, but you
wear it proudly anyway. You love it when people stare at you.
You are an over-the-hill wrestler. You’ve packed on about thirty pounds
more than you should have, and your belly is flabby. You, however, think
you are still very manly, and like to flex what used to be your muscles.
Your hair is receding, but you try to hide it with a comb-over. You need a
good shave and some deodorant.
You are a brilliant young game designer. You choose not to show your
wealth in your outward appearance, so your hair is a little too shaggy,
your clothes are casual and pretty rumpled, and you are a bit scruffy.
When you speak, you show how brilliant you are with your vocabulary, even
if it IS mostly about computers and gaming.
You are a sixteen-year-old skater. You have droopy oversized pants, and
like to show your boxers sticking out the top. You wear your hat
backwards, and have a nose piercing. You want to get more piercings, but
your mother won’t let you. You talk like a rapper.
You are an overworked, frustrated, exhausted mother of five. You are
tired of constantly driving your children everywhere. You desperately
need a haircut and would love some time to yourself. Because you are
around your children so much, you are starting to talk to everyone like
they are five years old. You carry a huge purse and a ton of bags.
You are a wealthy socialite in your sixties. You spend all of your husband’s
money on expensive clothes and lunching with the ladies at the golf
course. You speak with a pretend English accent, but when you get upset,
your real voice comes through. You like to show off your money and
impress everyone, but you are totally shallow.
Your name is Domingo, and you are a young Spanish-speaking dog-walker
from Equador. You have come to this country to learn English better. You
practise on the dogs you walk, but your comments sound funny aimed at
animals, especially with your accent. You are always getting caught in the
leashes. Your girlfriend Juanita is back home.
You are Fifi, a French poodle. Your owner has dyed your hair a bright pink
colour. You have a diamond collar on, and enjoy twisting your head to show
it off. You walk with your tail, and your nose, in the air.
You are a baby. You needed your diaper changed an hour ago. It’s heavy
and full, and very uncomfortable. You can’t talk, you can only grunt and
cry. Your cries sound different, depending on what you want.
You are a black cat, but you are not an ordinary feline. You are actually an
undercover detective. You can speak seven languages, including English.
No one suspects you are anything other than a normal black cat, so you
are excellent at your job. You like to clean your whiskers when you are
coming up with a plan. It calms you down. You are after a killer who has
murdered your former master. You won’t sleep ‘til you catch the
killer…and you’re constantly searching for clues.
You are an animal freak. You talk about animals all the time. You go to the
zoo once a week and belong to the animal of the month club. You keep
trying to pick up girls but your pick up lines always freak them out because
you only talk about animals.
You are a hippie. With long hair, bell bottom jeans and you wish only love,
peace and happiness for everyone. You are too happy and with love for
your fellow mankind and you keep getting into trouble for touching and
hugging people in your attempt to spread love and friendship to everyone.
A mad scientist! You spend all your free time working on scientific
equations and experiments. The experiments seem to go wrong more than
they go right. Your hair is frizzy and unkempt and you keep losing pencils
and pens in it. You where your white lab coat everywhere.
You are a retired olympic gymnast. You talk about the glory days a little
too often. People often get annoyed with your stories (they've heard
them so many times) that you constantly start your sentences with, ”I may
have told you this before”.
You are a medical student wannabe. You flunked out of pre-med, but
pretend that you are still enrolled in the program. You talk in medical
jargon and when people around you get hurt you rush in like a paramedic.
You are a pregnant woman. Your due date isn't for another 2 weeks but
you are exhausted and crabby from carrying this baby around for 9
months. You're whiney and demanding and often feeling sorry for
You are a struggling artist. You know if you could just get one gallery
showing your career would take off. You are always asking people if they
know anyone who can get you that one showing. You walk around carrying
your large portfolio of work, hoping that someone will stop you and ask to
see it (to discover you!)
You are a 2nd year psychology student. You think you know everything
there is to know about therapy. You're driving your friends crazy by
diagnosing them all the time. People are starting to avoid you.
You are an over the hill movie star. No one asks you to star in their movies
anymore but you still think all the world is a stage. You are acting the
next big scene: your own washed up existence. Everyone you meet is a
character in the story of your life. When you talk you act like you are
being filmed. People are often looking over their shoulders around you to
see where the director is to call “cut”.
You own a reptile store. You love reptiles and have begun to look like one.
Your hair is slicked back at all times and your eyes are always darting
around the room. You constantly stick your tongue out of your mouth like
a snake and you eat your food quickly. You are a nervous little man.
You are a homeless old woman. Your teeth are all rotted and your clothes
and hair are filthy. Your regular “home” is in the doorway to an old
apartment building. You are constantly looking over your shoulder for
people who want to steal your valuables and/or the police who want to
move you out of the doorway.
You are a close talker with really bad breath. People see you coming and
try to avoid you. They back away while you are speaking but you don't
notice. You keep moving closer and touching them as you talk. You think
that everything you have to say is really funny or interesting.
You have been stood up by your prom date. You are at home crying and
eating ice cream in your formal wear. Your make up is running down your
face from your tears and your mom and dad have rented movies to “hang
out with you and make you feel better”.
You are the person that seems to always miss out on the start of
conversations. You never know what is going and you don't care. You start
a new conversation about yourself.
You are a very sensitive person and cry easily. When people talk about
things that you think are sad you burst into tears.
You are a cruise line director. You give tours on the ship and always talk
like a salesperson. Even when you are not at work you can't seem to stop
talking like a tour guide. You even dress like one and wear your nametag