TEEN LIVING Unit 4 Teens and Dating Name: ___________________ Class: ________ Gender Roles Terms __________________: A part that one plays; expected patterns of behavior. __________________: Behaviors/tasks that indicate a person’s gender, (male/female). __________________: Behaviors/tasks not usually “assigned” to a specific sex or gender. __________________: Prejudicial treatment because of a person’s gender. __________________: Making a decision or prejudgment before becoming away of the facts. __________________: A perception of people based on first impressions; usually inaccurate. What are some non-traditional roles for WOMEN? What are some non-traditional roles for MEN? Journal Entry: (Honestly Think!!!) Girls: What do you expect your husband and sons to do in the home? Boys: What do you believe the women in the home should do? _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ *Decide what you believe and discuss it with your future mate or else one or both of you will be miserable! The Five Love Languages Test By Dr. Gary Chapman Read each pair of statements and circle the one that best describes you. 1. A. I like to receive notes of affirmation from you. E. I like it when you hug me. 2. B. I like to spend one-on-one time with you. D. I feel loved when you give me practical help. 3. C. I like it when you give me gifts. B. I like taking long walks with you. 4. D. I feel loved when you do things to help me. E. I feel loved when you hug or touch me. 5. E. I feel loved when you hold me in your arms. C. I feel loved when I receive a gift from you. 6. B. I like to go places with you. E. I like to hold hands with you. 7. A. I feel loved when you acknowledge me. C. Visible symbols of love (gifts) are very important to me. 8. E. I like to sit close to you. A. I like it when you tell me that I am attractive. 9. B. I like to spend time with you. C. I like to receive little gifts from you. 10. D. I know you love me when you help me. A. Your words of acceptance are important to me. 11. B. I like to be together when we do things. A. I like the kind words you say to me. 12. E. I feel whole when we hug. D. What you do affects me more than what you say. 13. A. I value your praise and try to avoid your criticism. C. Several inexpensive gifts mean more to me than one large expensive gift. 14. E. I feel closer to you when you touch me. B. I feel close when we are talking or doing something together. 15. A. D. 16. E. B. I like you to compliment my achievements. I know you love me when you do things for me that you don’t enjoy doing. I like for you to touch me when you walk by. I like when you listen to me sympathetically. TURN OVER 17. C. I really enjoy receiving gifts from you. D. I feel loved when you help me with my home projects. 18. A. I like when you compliment my appearance. B. I feel loved when you take the time to understand my feelings. 19. E. I feel secure when you are touching me. D. Your acts of service make me feel loved. 20. D. I appreciate the many things you do for me. C. I like receiving gifts that you make. 21. B. I really enjoy the feeling I get when you give me your undivided attention. D. I really enjoy the feeling I get when you do some act of service for me. 22. C. I feel loved when you celebrate my birthday with a gift. A. I feel loved when you celebrate my birthday with meaningful words (written or spoken.) 23. D. I feel loved when you help me out with my chores. C. I know you are thinking of me when you give me a gift. 24. C. I appreciate it when you remember special days with a gift. B. I appreciate it when you listen patiently and don’t interrupt me. 25. B. I enjoy extended trips with you. D. I like to know that you are concerned enough to help me with my daily task. 26. E. Kissing me unexpectedly makes me feel loved. C. Giving me a gift for no occasion makes me feel loved. 27. A. I like to be told that you appreciate me. B. I like for you to look at me when we are talking. 28. C. Your gifts are always special to me. E. I feel loved when you kiss me. 29. A. I feel loved when you tell me how much you appreciate me. D. I feel loved when you enthusiastically do a task I have requested. 30. E. I need to be hugged by you every day. A. I need your words of affirmation daily. Add Total Number of Answers Here: A. ____ Words of Affirmation B. ____ Quality Time C. ____Receiving Gifts D. ____ Acts of Service E. ____Physical Touch Love vs. Infatuation Love Infatuation 1. 1. 2. 2. 3. 3. 4. 4. 5. 5. 6. 6. 7. 7. TYPES OF LOVE 1. Love typical of close friendships 2. “Puppy Love”, full of emotion 3. A rational and realistic view of love 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. A non-sexual relationship, sharing of common intellectual and spiritual feelings A self-centered view of love, personal needs and wants are the MOST important A crazy, possessive, jealous kind of love A physical and intimate expression of love Selfless love or concern for others, their needs and wants are the most important Love vs. Infatuation Music Activity Can you tell the difference between Love and Infatuation? Listen to the following popular songs and find out! Directions: Write down the TITLE and several KEY LYRICS from the song that show you if it is talking about Love or Infatuation. Then, be ready to discuss your view as a class. Song 1: Title: _____________________________________________________________________________ Key Lyrics: __________________________________________________________________________ Love or Infatuation? ___________________ Song 2: Title: _____________________________________________________________________________ Key Lyrics: __________________________________________________________________________ Love or Infatuation? ___________________ Song 3: Title: _____________________________________________________________________________ Key Lyrics: __________________________________________________________________________ Love or Infatuation? ___________________ Song 4: Title: _____________________________________________________________________________ Key Lyrics: __________________________________________________________________________ Love or Infatuation? ___________________ Song 5: Title: _____________________________________________________________________________ Key Lyrics: __________________________________________________________________________ Love or Infatuation? ___________________ Song 6: Title: _____________________________________________________________________________ Key Lyrics: __________________________________________________________________________ Love or Infatuation? ___________________ Song 7: Title: _____________________________________________________________________________ Key Lyrics: __________________________________________________________________________ Love or Infatuation? ___________________ Song 8: Title: _____________________________________________________________________________ Key Lyrics: __________________________________________________________________________ Love or Infatuation? ___________________ The Avenues of Adolescent Attractions 1. __________________________: Conversations during classes or in the hall, glances, smiles 2. __________________________: Sharing common activities or friends, writing notes, friendly shoves or pushes, common work places or community groups 3. __________________________: Silly calls/texts or calls for information about a school project or another friend, occasional “prank” calls 4. __________________________: Sharing gossip, hugging, working on school activities or projects, going to the movies, malls, or to another person’s house to watch movies or eat 5. __________________________: Groups of 3 or more girls and 3 or more guys meeting for specific activitiesmovies, dinner, sports, etc.-Pairing off does not occur; group members are simply friends 6. __________________________: 2 girls and 2 guys who have paired off go together for an activity of any kind. A romantic attraction is usually involved. 7. __________________________: 1 girl and 1 guy who have paired off go together for an activity of any kind. The couple know each other well and want to spend time alone. What happens to most relationships if you go out of this order? ___________________________________________________________________________________ Dating Rights As a date, you have the RIGHT to: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. _____________________________________ _____________________________________ _____________________________________ _____________________________________ _____________________________________ _____________________________________ _____________________________________ My Personal Dating Rules Why set dating rules? Because… 1. They help you be _______________ when dating. 2. They help you make ______________ BEFORE a situation arises so you will not compromise your values and goals. 3. They help you feel ______________ about yourself. 4. They help keep you _________________! Write at least FIVE personal dating rules below: 1. ______________________________________ 2. _____________________________________ 3. ______________________________________ 4. ______________________________________ 5. ______________________________________ When It’s More Than Burgers: Dining Etiquette At Its Best Video Quiz 1. A valet is: a. a person who parks the car for you b. a person who takes your order c. a person who hangs your coat for you d. a person who greets and seats you 10. Food is passed: a. clockwise b. counter clockwise c. across the table d. it doesn’t matter 2. A host/hostess is: a. a person who parks the car for you b. a person who takes your order c. a person who hangs your coat for you d. a person who greets and seats you 11. How does the girl know how much to by has to spend on the meal? a. ask him b. just guess c. ask him what sounds good to him d. ask him how much money he has 3. A coat check person is: a. a person who parks the car for you b. a person who takes your order c. a person who hangs your coat for you d. a person who greets and seats you 4. A server is: a. a person who parks the car for you b. a person who takes your order c. a person who hangs your coat for you d. a person who greets and seats you 5. The ambience in restaurant terms is: a. the walkway of the restaurant b. the gratuity c. the atmosphere d. none of the above 6. An entrée is: a. the first course b. the dessert c. the course after escargot d. the main course 7. A menu is known as: a. an advertisement b. a bill of fare c. a table of contents d. none of the above 8. The first person to greet you at the restaurant is: a. the coat check person b. the host/hostess c. the welcoming committee d. the owner 9. Ladies are seated: a. to the right of the gentleman b. to the left of the gentleman c. it doesn’t matter d. it depends if you are right or left handed 12. When you leaving the table, but you plan on returning, napkins are: a. placed above the knife b. taken with you c. given to your date d. placed on the chair 13. The bread and butter plate is: a. placed above the knife b. placed above the forks c. placed to the side of the spoons d. placed to the side of the forks 14. The utensil used to hold the snail is called: a. Escargot fork b. Escargot tongs c. Escargot clamp d. Escargot prong 15. The traditional course after escargot is: a. sherbet b. frappe c. sorbet d. cordial 16. When eating soup: a. eat from the edges of the bowl first b. blow on it if it is hot c. pour some water in it to cool it down d. you can drink it from the bowl 17. When you are finished with a course: a. rest utensils on the table b. place in your bowl c. placed at the 3 o’clock position on the plate d. none of the above TURN OVER 18. If the pieces of lettuce are too big for you: a. cut the pieces with the side of your fork b. place it in your mouth the best you can c. leave the large pieces on the plate d. tear large pieces with your fingers 22. The tip on a $70.00 meal is: a. $10.50 b. $12.50 c. $5.75 d. $7.00 19. The two styles of eating are: a. European/Asian b. American/British c. British/Asian d. European/American 23. When finished at the table, napkins are: a. placed on your chair b. given to the server c. placed neatly on the table d. placed in your goblet 20. Before serving dessert: a. the bill is given to you b. the table is crumbed c. the candles are lit d. none of the above 24. The valet should be tipped: a. $.50 b. $1.00 c. $2.00 d. none of the above 21. When your silverware is placed in the resting position, they are: a. placed on the table cloth b. just hold in the hands c. they should never be in resting position d. placed in a “V” on the plate 25. Etiquette is (according to video): a. being nice to people b. eating properly c. knowing what is expected socially d. none of the above Basic Rules of Etiquette 1. Don’t _________ with your mouth full! Chew with your mouth closed. 2. Dishes should be _____________ from the right and ___________ from the left. Lean to help your server. 3. Do not rest your _____________ on the table during the meal. 4. Don’t ____________ in front of others. Ask for food to be ___________ to you. 5. Say “______________” and “__________________”. 6. Don’t talk about ___________________________ topics at the dinner table. 7. Cut your large items into __________________ pieces. Don’t try to put the whole thing in your mouth at once. 8. Don’t _______________ your hair or put on _________________ at the table. 9. Never place ________________ silverware/utensils back on the tablecloth. 10. If your dinner party is small, ___________ until everyone has been served before beginning to eat. 11. Boys: make sure that every girl in the dinner party is ______________ first before taking your own seat. 12. When eating a _____________, break off, butter and eat a small piece at a time. Do not butter the whole thing at once. 13. When choosing utensils to eat with, start from the _______________ and work your way in _____________ the plate. Breaking Up Is Hard To Do! 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. -You feel sad ALL the time -You can’t keep your mind on anything else -You may have trouble sleeping -You may have strong self-doubt -You may cry a lot (or at least feel like it) -You feel alone and like nobody understands -It feels like you are lost -You play “your song” over and over -You read old notes and look at their picture all the time -You may go out of your way to go places to bring back memories of happier times -You go out of your way to see or talk to them -You are MAD!: At your ex for dumping you At your self for getting hurt At the whole world because it’s in your way At your family and friends because they keep asking you what’s wrong -When your anger towards your ex turns harmful, you are out of control -Revenge -Spreading rumors or hurtful gossip -Harassment -Trying to hurt yourself to get attention -You have violent feelings because the pain you feel is so strong -You may even think that suicide is the answer to get even -If you are so upset that you want to hurt yourself or others, you must get help right away! *It is okay to be mad, but it is NOT okay to let your anger get out of control. Find positive ways to deal with your anger and move on. No One Would Tell Video Questions 1. What were the first warning signs that Stacy’s and Bobby’s relationship was not a healthy one? 2. Why do you think that Stacy stayed with Bobby and kept going back to him even after he started becoming violent? 3. What would you tell Stacy if she were your friend? 4. What would you tell Bobby if he were your friend? 5. What should you do if you, a friend or family member are in a violent relationship? Dating Violence and Rape Dating Violence Dating Violence: a pattern of behavior used to establish power and control over another person through fear and intimidation-often including the treat or use of violence. Types of Abuse & Violence _______________________: can begin with threats of violence, punching fist through wall, escalates to pushing, slapping, restraining, etc. Finally, it becomes life threatening. _______________________: any non-consensual, forced sexual behavior. It may escalate to rape or sexual assault. _______________________: Mental violence that can include constant verbal threats and abuse, harassment, excessive possessiveness, isolating abused person from others, damage of personal property, intimidation, etc. What To Do If You Or Someone You Know Is In An Abusive Relationship __________________________ and ask for help to end the relationship. Parents, Friends, Trusted Adult, Teacher, Counselor, Police, etc. Rape _____________________: ANY sexual act against a person’s will or consent-also known as sexual assault. _____________________: rape in which the rapist is personally known to the victim, usually within a dating relationship-also known as acquaintance rape. _____________________: any sexual activities which occur between adults and underage adolescents or children, even if the minor believes the sexual relationship is consensual. _____________________: the use of emotional persuasion-can be verbal or nonverbal Preventative Behaviors Know Your Limits and Communicate Them Be Assertive Be Aware of Your Non-Verbal Cues ● Pay Attention to Your Surroundings ● Avoid Use of Alcohol and Drugs ● Don’t Assume Anything If You Are Victimized Go to an emergency room or Crisis Center immediately Take a friend for support and to help you remember things Call the police immediately Don’t shower! Save clothing and bedding Make a conscious effort to remember details like physical features, license plates, etc. Follow up on STD tests