K-2: Etiquette at the Table
Etiquette at the
Table
Grade Level: K-2
Lessons:

Do the Right Thing: Eating Rules.

Different Places, Different Manners.

We Know How to Sit, But How Do We Set?

Do You Believe in Magic Words?
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K-2: Etiquette at the Table
Lesson I: Basic Training: Do the Right Thing
Objectives/Goals:
 Learn the proper etiquette for a simple meal.

Learn why the rules are important.
Starters:

Ask the students what rules they follow when eating at their house.

At home what do they “get away” with- chew with their mouths open, drink soup
from their bowl, blow milk through their straws?

Ask the students how many of them eat dinner watching TV, at the table? How
many have a family dinner once or twice a week? How many only have a family
dinner on holidays?

Ask the students to demonstrate how they sit in their chair while at the dinner table.
Guidelines:
Be Prepared! Before you come to the table:

Wash your hands before coming to the table.

Remove gum or any removable orthodontic appliances.

If a blessing is being said, close your eyes and bow your head.
What is proper table posture and body alignment?

Keep feet flat on the floor-don’t cross your legs or swing your feet.

Remain seated throughout the meal.

Sit up straight in the chair. Don’t “roll your shoulders forward and hunker down
bringing your face to your plate.” Always bring the food to your face.

Sit 3-5 inches from the table.

Keep your back straight.
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K-2: Etiquette at the Table

Do not wrap your arm around your plate, like you are claiming your territory. Keep
your elbows by your side.

Wait until everyone is seated to start eating.
by Bill Taylor, the Polite Magician
The meal at a table at home or in a restaurant
“ Never take a bite that is wider than your fork”

Take bite-size pieces about the size of the tines of the fork.

Chew with mouth closed.

Eat quietly-do not make “chewing” noises.

Drink quietly.

Use napkin often.

Keep all food on your eating area-not on your lap.

Do not slide the tines of the fork against your teeth.

Do not eat too fast or too slowly.

Keep pace with your dining partners.

Cut only a few bites at a time.

Place your napkin to the right of the plate when you are finished.

Place any paper or plastic products in the trash when you have finished.

Do not reach across the table. Ask that items you need be passed to you.

When asked to pass the salt, pass both the salt and pepper.
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K-2: Etiquette at the Table

If a food is served on a plate that you do not like, do not make faces or say
things like, “that’s gross!”
It’s polite to...

Speak using a quiet voice.

Enter and exit the room quietly.

Say “excuse me” when you leave the table.

Say “ Yes Ma’am” or “No Ma’am” or “Yes Sir or “No Sir” when addressing
adults.

Refrain from shaking head or shrugging shoulders when answering a quest.
Answer the question asked without using words like “huh” or “yeah.”

Thank your host or hostess before you leave.
Activities:
1. Have students eat a breakfast using the proper approach to the table as well as
the correct posture and table manners.
2. Have children demonstrate the appropriate way to eat in a fast rood restaurant
and a Sunday dinner.
3. Have each student make a weekly chart that illustrates the different skills they
are learning. As each skill is mastered, that skill earns a point and sticker to be
put in that square toward a dessert of the students’ choice from the school
cafeteria.
4. Have students make a journal entry that describes their favorite meal. Is this
meal formal or informal?
Student should be warned that “back sliding” causes a loss of points.
Summation:
Ask the students:

Why should learning and practicing eating and table rules help us?

What rules should we always follow no matter where we are eating?

What rules are usually applied in more formal occasions?
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K-2: Etiquette at the Table
Lesson II: Different Places,
Different Manners
Objectives/Goals:
Students will
Learn the differences between formal and informal dining.
Learn to properly hold eating utensils
Set table with a knife, fork and spoon.
Learn to eat correctly, using the tools of the table.
Starters:
Ask students where they usually eat their main meals of the day.
Have students brainstorm the different places-include places in their homeswhere they eat a meal.
What types of utensils do they usually use on a daily basis?
What is usually on the table when they come to eat?
Do they help to set the table?
How do different settings or places influence how they sit, what they say and
what is on the table? (Fast-food restaurant, in front of the TV, picnic, a
restaurant, dinner at grandma’s, a church supper, snack at the roller rink, lunch
at the community center, a banquet, the school cafeteria, a nice restaurant, etc.)
Materials:
Using disposable utensils and a placemat which illustrates the proper placement of
utensils, plate, glass and napkin, have students set their eating place at the table.
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K-2: Etiquette at the Table
Guidelines:
Guidelines:
You never want food
hanging out of your
mouth!
Never reach across the table. Request the item; “Please, pass me the kumquats.”
The proper way to hold your fork and spoon:
 Hold the fork or spoon like you hold a pencil.
 Then turn your hand, thumb side up, to bring food to your mouth.

When you are offered butter, take a slice to put on your plate or butter plate. Then
break your bread into eating size pieces and butter a couple of these.

Remember, a meal is not a race. Eat slowly and do not start until everyone is
seated and served.

Never chew with your mouth open or try to talk with food in your mouth.
You may like seafood , but no one likes
to “see food” in your mouth!
Never put more food on your fork than you can comfortably
chew. No one wants to resemble a “chipmunk.”

If you find a bone or an inedible piece of food in your mouth, put it on your fork or
spoon and gently lower it to you plate.

Never slurp your soup or drink from your soup bowl.
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K-2: Etiquette at the Table
Activities:
Have the children
1. Demonstrate informal and formal settings, including how people sit, talk, eat and
dress.
2. Write a short story or describe a formal or informal setting for a special meal.
This could be a back yard bar-be-que or a dinner in a restaurant.
3. Create a short journal entry or draw a picture about their favorite time at school
or church which included a meal.
4. Have a “theme” meal for the students during the last class meeting of etiquette.
Summation:
How do the various settings influence the manners we use?
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K-2: Etiquette at the Table
Lesson III: We Know How to Sit, But How
Do We Set?
Objectives/Goals:
Identify where to place the knife, fork, spoon, plate and glass on the table.
Identify the proper use of knives, forks, spoons and glasses.
Starters:
Ask the students if they have ever set the table at their house.
Ask the students which eating utensils are normally found at each family member’s
place setting, i.e. fork, knife, spoon, etc.?
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K-2: Etiquette at the Table
Guidelines:
In a simple place setting:
 The eating plate-lunch or dinner- is placed in the center.
 The spoon and knife are placed to the right of the plate,
 The spoon is to the right of the knife
 The knife blade is turned toward the plate.
 The fork is placed to the left of the plate.
 All utensils are straight, not touching the plate, with a bit of space
between them.
 None of the utensils are “shoved” under the plate.
 The bottom edge of the plate and the utensils are the same distance
from the edge of the table (about one inch).
 The glass is above the knife.
 The napkin goes to the left of the fork.
 If there is a salad plate, it is placed above and to the left of the plate,
just above the fork.
It is better not to have the napkin under the fork, if space permits.
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K-2: Etiquette at the Table
Activities:
1. Have the students draw a place setting with the correct placement of plates,
glasses and utensils.
2. Have the students set a table for a special meal, like a birthday dinner for a
favorite adult and write or explain to the class what the meal will be and how the
table will be set.
3. Working in pairs require the students to give oral instructions on how to set a
basic table.
Summation:
What is included in a basic table setting?
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K-2: Etiquette at the Table
Lesson IV: Do You Believe in
Magic Words?
Objectives/Goals:
Learn how to distinguish between polite table conversation and unacceptable table
conversation.
Develop consideration for others.
Starters:
When do we say, “I’m sorry”,” Please,” and “Thank you?”
Ask the students to brainstorm and list the “magic” words and phrases commonly used
when eating a meal. Ask the students why “magic” words and phrases are called
“magic”.
Ask the students what the phrase, “You can get more flies with honey than with
vinegar,” means.
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K-2: Etiquette at the Table
What not to talk about at the table:
What foods you do not like
Bugs you do not like
Vulgar language (“potty mouth”)
the entire story of a movie or TV show
terrible accidents
“yucky things” you have seen and done
“yucky things” other people have seen and done
road kill
naughty jokes
bad smells
people you do not like
What to talk about at the table:
Almost anything of mutual interest to the group that does not appear on the
“What not to talk about at the table” list.
Activities:
Table conversation
Often students don’t contribute to conversations because they believe what they have to
say is either unimportant or will be cause for embarrassment. It might help to suggest a
school issue or a topic they are studying from another class as the subject of the table
conversation.
Common topics for this age group can include:

School uniforms or uniform dress

Problems associated with having pets, brothers, sisters, etc.

Favorite foods or TV shows, etc.
1. Assign or have students chose a topic of interest to them from their school, family
or community to use as table discussion.
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K-2: Etiquette at the Table
2. Have the students pretend they are having dinner and have them engage one
another in conversation.
3. Have students compose a list of subjects that they would like to discuss at the
table. Have students discuss each other’s lists. Are there subjects present that
should be left off?
Summation:
Why is the use of “magic” words important?
What are some “magic” words that can be used to engage the students in conversation
at the dinner table?
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3-5: Basic Etiquette Skills
Basic Etiquette at the
Table
Grade Level: 3-5
Lessons:
 Let’s Review!
 Pleased to Meet You.
 Put It There, Man!
 The Formal Dinner, the Formal Diner.
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3-5: Basic Etiquette Skills
Lesson I: Let’s Review
Objectives/Goals:
Introductions
Greetings: The Handshake
Interactive Review
Seating and Unseating a lady
Review common table etiquette
Setting the formal table
The Making of a Gentleman
The Making of a Lady
Continental versus American Style of Table Setting
Continental versus American Style of Dining
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3-5: Basic Etiquette Skills
Lesson II:
Pleased to Meet You
Greetings: The Handshake
Objectives/Goals:
Students will greet and introduce people in a variety of settings and groups.
Starters:
Ask the students how they are introduced to adults (like you, the teacher.)
Ask the students how they are introduced to each other.
Ask the students how they introduce themselves to other children they don’t know:
 the person sitting next to them in class
 at the playground
 the Boys or Girls Club
 church
 lunch line
 a blind date
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3-5: Basic Etiquette Skills
Guidelines:
Using the scenarios below, teach the students the proper techniques for
introductions.
Introducing a man to a woman:
Say the lady’s name first.
Then, introduce the man to the woman:
Tonya Smith, this is Erik Jones.
Erik, this is Tonya Smith.
EXCEPTION! When the man is an older person in a prominent office or a church
official, or a member of a royal family or president of a country, then the woman is
introduced to the man.
President Bush, this is Loretta Lynnley.
Loretta, this is President George Bush.
Introducing a younger person to an older person:
Say the older person’s name first.
Then introduce the younger person to the older person.
Mrs. Armstrong, this is Sissy Spaulding.
Sissy, this is Mrs. Spaulding.
Introducing a more *distinguished person:
*“Distinguished” refers to profession, not wealth or intelligence. Church officials,
elected persons, school principals, royalty, etc. are considered “distinguished.”
(Finishing Touches, p.68)


Say the more distinguished person’s name first.
Then, introduce the person to the more distinguished person.
Reverend Abernathy, this is Jamar Stanley.
Jamar, this is Reverend George Abernathy.
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3-5: Basic Etiquette Skills
Being introduced to a Lady:
 In our country, a woman usually remains seated when someone is introduced to her.
 A woman should stand, however, if the person being introduced to her is much
older, very distinguished or a member of the clergy.

In this situation, who stands?
 Who is introduced to whom?
 You have to introduce Oprah Winfrey and Mother Teresa to each other. How would
you do this?
(Hint: Who is more distinguished or older?)
And then there is a group of people:

Today, if the group is small, everyone in the group rises to greet a
newcomer. (A woman who does not stand in this situation would look rude.)

Also if the group is very large, only those closest to the door rise to greet
the newcomers.

If you are the only one or one of the few who knows the newcomers’
names, you introduce them to the group.
“Hogwartians, let me introduce you to Harry Potter.
Harry, these are you new classmates, Hermione, Fred and Pike.”
Getting Comfortable
Greeting Strangers:
If you are the stranger:
If you are by yourself, look for a friendly looking person or persons, and introduce
yourself.
Hi, I’m Orson Lorson and I’m from the planet known as the Third Rock from the Sun. I
don’t know anyone here, except the host. Forgive me for barging in on your
conversation like this, but I would like to get to know you and some of the other guests.
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3-5: Basic Etiquette Skills
Introducing people who are strangers:
When the person who is introducing two or more strangers, it is always good to
give them a little information about each other to ease their way into a
conversation.
UH OH! What do you do, if you forget someone’s name?
Either tell the person that you cannot remember his/her name or make
a light joke by saying “Jane Doe, this is John Doe.” Hopefully,
someone will get the hint and tell you his or her name.
“Cindy ‘Tallwoman’ Dallas, I would like you to meet my
cousin, Lakita ‘Shrimpboat’ Jackson. Cindy played on the
basketball team at Steamboat High School like you do,
Lakita. Lakita, this is Cindy Dallas.
Activities:
1. Have students practice introducing each other using these different scenarios:
 Some people are seated when a stranger enters the room
 A man introducing a lady
 Two strangers meeting
 Introducing a distinguished person to your friend
 You are trying to introduce two people and cannot remember one of their
names
2. Have students make up rhymes to help remember each others’ name:
For example: Keisha loves tea at the sea.
Jamar would love to have a car.
Rose has freckles on her nose.
4. Have students choose a “creative personality” and bring in a few props to
help set up the character: Following etiquette rules, introduce these people as
if they are at a meeting and are strangers:
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3-5: Basic Etiquette Skills
 Mr. Clay Potter, the art teacher, could hold an easel (in the left
hand, so the right hand is free to shake hands) and meet Artie
Smartie, the painter (paint brush in hand)
 Grandma Cook could hold a cookie sheet with some chocolate
chip cookies on it and wear an apron when she meets Martha
Stewart (who looks perfect).
 Snapper the Rapper (hat on backwards-which comes off in the
introduction, of course, pants sagging, etc.) needs to meet the
Chairman of “PEC,” Proper English for Everyone (glasses, hair in
bun, English book in hand).
 Boulder Rock (world wrestling figure- more posturing, perhaps a Tshirt) needs to meet Silkie Sock, a gentlemanly wrestler in proper
attire.
 Natty Manners (a regular guy who knows his manners, takes off
his hat, opens door) need to meet Duncan Hoops (basketball, jersey).
 Honorable Judge Judy needs to meet Judge Joe (robes, gavel)
Brown.
Summation:
What are the appropriate guidelines in introducing people?
What is the most important thing to remember when you are introduced to
someone?
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3-5: Basic Etiquette Skills
Lesson III: Put It There, Man!
Objectives/Goals:
Shake hands when being introduced.
Starters:
 Why do we shake hands at the beginning of a sport’s event?
 Why do we shake hands when we first meet a new person?
 Why do we shake hands when we greet someone we know?
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3-5: Basic Etiquette Skills
Guidelines:
How to Shake Hands:

Approach the person.

Establish eye contact.

Grasp hand firmly.

Shake once or twice.

Smile.

Maintain eye contact through the greeting.
Ah yes, the smile...

Do not use a “bonecrusher” or lifeless handshake either. A gentle, but firm
handshake that lasts 2-3 seconds is best.

Shaking hands is not arm wrestling!

A warm handshake should accompany the warm smile and tone of voice people
should use to greet each other.

An adult offers his/her hand to a child. The child shakes the adult’s hand.

A woman may offer to shake hands.

A woman should shake hands when the offer is extended.

Men traditionally shake hands when they are introduced.

Athletes often shake hands at the end of a competition.
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3-5: Basic Etiquette Skills
It’s all in the eyes...
Eye contact is the most significant part of
being introduced to someone. If you bow
or shake hands with someone and do not
make eye contact with them, you have not
made a connection.
Other Cultures, Other Countries:
In some foreign countries, any type of human contact is “taboo”, so when dealing
with a person from another country, do not offer to shake hands and do not be
offended if the gesture is not offered to you.
In some foreign countries, the guest is not supposed to try to make direct eye
contact with the host.
So, if you are not a seasoned traveler, look up some of the customs and
etiquette practices of the country where you plan to visit.
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3-5: Basic Etiquette Skills
Activities:
1. Have students practice introducing each other and shaking hands.
2. Have the students research a country they would like to visit. Have them report to
your class some of the customs and differences that you discover about meeting
and greeting people in this country.
3. Role-play a meeting between a knowledgeable American who is meeting someone
from this country.
Role-play an American who knows nothing about this country’s customs, meeting
someone from this country for the first time.
Summation:
What should accompany being introduced to someone, besides shaking
hands?
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3-5: Basic Etiquette Skills
Lesson IV: The Formal Dinner, the Formal Diner
and the formal Napkin
Objectives/Goals:
What is the etiquette associated with using a napkin?
Identify the difference between formal and informal dining.
Learn the appropriate codes of conduct for dining in a formal setting.
Lesson 1: Here lies the Napkin
Starters: What should I do with the napkin?
Guidelines:

Place your napkin on your lap after everyone at your table has been seated.

Do not open your napkin in mid-air. Open it below the table level as you remove it
from the table.

If you must leave the table during the meal, do so between courses, leaving your
napkin on your chair or to the LEFT of your plate. Placing the napkin here tells the
waiter that you will be returning to your set.

At the end of the meal, leave your napkin, folded, to the RIGHT of your plate.
Placing your napkin here is a signal to the tell waiter that you are finished.
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3-5: Basic Etiquette Skills
Activities:
1. Get a book on napkin folding and have the students practice some of the
special ways napkins can be folded for special occasions.
2. Read the following letters. Compose answers to these letters as if you
are Dr. Etiquette.
Dear Dr. Etiquette,
Dear Dr. Etiquette,
My friends and I were dining in a restaurant
where the waiter placed the napkin on our laps. My
friends think that it should be left the way the
waiter placed it, which was half-folded. However, I
think that the waiter should re-arrange it to lie
flat and fully open, covering one's lap to catch any
food that drops. What do you think?
Signed,
Curious
While dining in a restaurant, I
had to go the ladies room
before finishing my meal. I
put my napkin in my chair. My
friend told me that I
shouldn't put the napkin in
the chair because the waiter
would think that I was
finished with my meal. Is that
true?
Signed,
Wondering
Dear Dr. Etiquette,
I dropped my napkin in a restaurant the other day and picked it up myself.
My aunt informed me that it was improper to pick up a dropped napkin and
that the waiter was supposed to do that for me.
Is she right? I have some other napkin questions: where do you put the
napkin when you are finished with dinner? Can you spit out food into the
napkin?
Signed,
Helpless
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3-5: Basic Etiquette Skills
Sample Answers:
1. Dear
Curious,
If it was a large napkin, then it should be left folded in half.
A small luncheon napkin can be fully opened.
Yours truly,
Dr. E.
2. Dear Wondering,
When leaving the table mid-meal, or between courses, place your napkin on the
LEFT side of your plate, not on the chair. The waiter would only take your plate
away if it looked like you had eaten all of your meal, not because you were absent
from the table for a moment.
Yours truly,
Dr. E.
3. Dear Helpless,
If you were in a very formal restaurant where waiters are hovering nearby
to tend to your every need, then let the waiter pick up the napkin for you.
However, if the napkin is within reach and you don’t have to get up to get it, then
simply reach down and pick it up.
When finished dining, place the napkin neatly on the table, to the right side
of the plate. Do not refold the napkin, but don't leave it crumpled up either.
Napkin etiquette experts say food taken out of the mouth should come out the way
it went in. If you used a fork, then gently spit the food back onto the fork. If it's
really chewed up and gross, then if you have a tissue, use that to spit into. If you
need to get out a piece of fish bone, use your fingers.
Napkins are supposed to be used to dab the corners of the mouth, never use
it to blow one's nose (which should be done in the restroom). Also, never use it to
wipe your face.
Sincerely,
Dr. E
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3-5: Basic Etiquette Skills
Ordering from a Menu
Guidelines:
1. Please remember that your server is there to help you. This person should be
treated with courtesy, just as the server is to treat you with courtesy. If you
have questions about the menu, the server is the one to ask. Answering
your questions is part of a server’s job. It is better to ask before you order
than to find yourself with something you do not like.
2. Often a woman’s order is taken first. If there is one person who is taking
others out to eat, generally this person’s order is taken last.
3. As a guest, you should not order the most expensive items on the menu. You
may get a clue or a hint from your host. If the host says,
“Why don’t you try the steak?”
Or
“The cheesecake here is very good.”
You know it is all right to order those items.
At the Table
1. Elbows on the table are only acceptable between courses, During the course
when you are not eating, keep your hands on you lap or resting with wrists on
the edge of the table.
2. Remember your conversation rules at the table.
3. Do not slurp your soup. Think of making a circle with the spoon in your hand:
Scoop the soup.
Mouth
Spoon it away from you
go
Sip it from the side of the spoon.
up
Never put the soup spoon in your mouth.
down
4. If the food is too hot, do not blow on it. Let it cool.
Scoop Soup
5. Eat rolls or bread by tearing a small piece. Butter only the piece you are
preparing to eat. When you are ready for another piece, tear and butter it the
same way.
6. When you finish your meal, lay your fork and knife diagonally across your
plate. The knife blade should face toward you and the tines of the fork are
facing down. The knife and fork should be place as if they are sitting on a
clock face, pointing to the numbers 10 and 4.
7. Do not put used silverware on the table.
8. Do not leave a spoon in a cup or bowl.
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3-5: Basic Etiquette Skills
Using silverware:
1. Use the utensils from the
outside in.
2. Start with the utensil (knife,
fork or spoon), that lies to
your far right.
3. With each course you will
work your way in.
4. On the left, you will find the
fork and to the far left, the
salad fork.
5. Any dessert utensils will be
above your plate or will be
brought with the dessert.
Best rule: Watch your host!
European of Continental versus American style dining:
The difference between these two styles has to do with the way you use the knife and
fork to cut and eat your food.
American style:

The fork secures the food to be cut.

The knife is in the right hand and the fork is in the left with the tines piercing the
food.

Small bites are cut. The knife is placed across the top of the plate, blade facing
you.

The fork with tines facing up is transferred to the right hand to pick up pieces of
food.

If you are left-handed, keep the fork in your left hand.
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3-5: Basic Etiquette Skills

Food is cut a few bites at a time.
European or Continental:

You cut your meat the same way as the American style.

The difference is you do not transfer the utensils to different hands to eat.

Fork remains in the left-hand.

Knife remains in your right hand.

Food is cut one bite at a time and then eaten with the tines of the fork still facing
down.
Good Gracious! Don’t Forget the Gratuity:
A tip or gratuity for the server is usually from 15% to 20% of the bill. What would the tip
be for the following meals:
$17.40
$32.97
$8.50
$72.87
Hint: To calculate a 20% tip”
 The bill is 22.98.
 Move the decimal one point to the left gives you 10% of the bill:
$2.98
 To get 20%, double this amount, 2 X 2.98=
$5.96
Activity:
1. Using cloth napkins, have students practice the proper way to use a napkin at a
formal setting.
2. Have students create a “pretend” formal dining setting, Chez Chic, using formal
table settings and styles. Activity can be completed orally, using drawings, collages,
journal entries or narrative techniques.
3. Have students describe a formal restaurant, discuss and demonstrate how to
approach and be seated at a table.
4. Have students practice and critique each other’s approach to a table, assist each
other in being seated, and putting their napkins in their laps.
30
3-5: Basic Etiquette Skills
5. Get samples of some menus from different restaurants. Have look over these and
practice ordering from the menu.
6. Having a maitre d’ and /or a professional server come to be interviewed by the class
would be helpful and fun. Have them explain to the class how the tips are distributed
and why tipping is a custom worldwide.
7.
Have students design menus of their own.
Summation:

What are the most important points to remember when dining in a formal setting?

What are the differences between formal and informal settings?

What are the codes of conduct for dining in a formal setting?
31
6-8: Everyday Etiquette
Everyday
Etiquette
Grade Level: 6-8
Lessons:
 Why do we learn etiquette?
 Review basic table etiquette
 Out and About!
 Graceful Gratitude, Not Attitude
 Ladies and Gentleman!
32
6-8: Everyday Etiquette
Lesson I: Why Do We Learn
Etiquette?
]
Objectives/Goals:
Starters: What are good manners and why do we learn them?
Guidelines:
 Knowing what to expect in social situation eases the anxiety and
mystery for children.
 Good manners involve more than knowing what knife or fork to use in
formal situations. They include good attitudes, and respect and
consideration for others every day.
 The child who has good manners has grace and self-control and makes
a wonderful first impression on his peers as well as adults.
 Children who become confident poised adults know the rules of
etiquette.
 Knowing proper behavior is an essential part of being prepared for life.

The purpose of learning manners is to turn good etiquette “rules into
habits.”
365 Manners Kids Should Know by Sheyl Eberly
33
6-8: Everyday Etiquette
Lesson II: Basic Review and Formal Moments
Objectives/Goals:
Review common table rules, manners.
Review basic table setting.
Identify the components of a formal place setting.
Starter: What is the difference between a basic table setting and a formal
table setting?
Guidelines:
In a simple place setting:
 The eating plate-lunch or dinner- is placed in the center.
 The spoon and knife are placed to the right of the plate.
 The spoon is to the right of the knife.
 The knife blade is turned toward the plate.
 The fork is placed to the left of the plate.
 If there is a fork for the salad, it is placed to the left of the fork.
 All utensils are straight, not touching the plate, with a bit of space between them.
 None of the utensils are to be “shoved” under the plate.
 The bottom edge of the plate and the utensils are the same distance from the edge of the table (about one inch).
 The water glass is above the knife.
 The napkin goes to the left of the fork.
 If there is a salad plate, it is placed above and to the left of the plate, just above the fork.
It is better not to have the napkin under the fork, if space permits.
34
6-8: Everyday Etiquette
Formal Dinner
Place Setting
In a more formal table setting:
1. Napkin
2. Fish fork
3. Dinner or main
course fork
4. Salad fork
5. Soup bowl & plate
6. Dinner plate
7. Dinner knife
8. Fish knife
9. Soup spoon
10. Bread & butter plate
11. Butter knife
12. Dessert spoon and
cake fork
13. Water goblet
14. Red wine goblet
15. White wine goblet
www.westernsilver.com/place_settings.html
Activities:
Either by drawing, using cut-outs or creating the various pieces, have
students
 Practice setting the table using a basic setting.
 Students practice setting the table using the formal setting.
 Create a theme dinner illustrating the two types of settings.
 If possible, have a dinner party where students have a chance to “put it all
together.”
Summation:
What are the differences between a basic table setting and a formal table setting?
35
6-8: Everyday Etiquette
Lesson III: Out and About!
ed.
Objectives/Goals:
Use proper etiquette when you are in a variety of settings.
Starters:
Ask students to share a situation that has occurred where they did not
know what they should have done in getting on or off an elevator, climbing stairs, at a
theater or in the movies?
What the students do when another person is coming down the stairwell at the same
time they are walking up the stairwell?
What do the students do when other people are talking during their favorite movie?
Guidelines:
Etiquette on the Elevator:

The person who enters the elevator first holds the door until all have entered.
 Those entering the elevator next should move to the back. They should tell the
person at the panel selecting the buttons on which floor they wish to exit.
 When the elevator arrives at the desired floor, each person should be careful not to
push, but to pass by politely any people blocking his or her exit.
 Should a passenger standing close to the door not wish to exit at this stop, he or she
should step outside the elevator to allow other passengers to exit.
 When a man and a woman approach the elevator at the same time, the man should
hold the door open for the woman to enter the elevator first.
 When leaving the elevator, the man should step out first and hold the elevator door
open for the woman to exit.
36
6-8: Everyday Etiquette
Etiquette on the Stairs

Persons walking up or down the stairs should walk on the right hand side.

In escorting a woman down the stairs, a man should walk ahead of her.
Etiquette at the Movies

Know the time when the performance begins and arrive on time.

Take care of all needs for food and restroom before the movie begins.

Do not put your knees or feet on the seat in front of you.

Do not talk to the characters in the movie.

Do not talk loudly during the performance to your friends.

Turn any cell phones off or put them on vibrate.

If an important call comes in, go outside the area where the movie is being shown to
answer the call.

Eat quietly.

If a drink is spilled, notify an usher before the next showing of the movie.
Etiquette at the Theater and Musical Concerts

Applaud when the conductor enters.
 Plan your time so that you will be seated before the
performance.
37
6-8: Everyday Etiquette

Applaud only when the conductor lowers his baton, turns to the audience and bows.

Take no food into the auditorium.

Do not carry on conversations during the performance.

Dress appropriately.

Do not sing or hum along with the music, unless encouraged to do so by the
conductor or performers.

Take care of any personal needs during intermission, and return to your seat before
the second portion of the performance begins. If you must leave your seat, excuse
yourself and politely exit quietly. Do not return to your seat until the lights are turned on
in the auditorium again.
What do we need to know about “fancy” restaurants?
What behavior is expected of a person eating in a
restaurant?
Etiquette at the Restaurant:
 A maitre d’ is in charge of the dinning room. In a restaurant with a maitre d’, do
not move to a seat unless he directs you. The woman follows the maitre ’d, and the
man follows the woman to their seats.
 Use proper table manners.
 Avoid engaging in behavior that would embarrass or annoy you, your guest or
the other patrons in the restaurant.
38
6-8: Everyday Etiquette
The Business of Restaurants:
A tip is a gratuity or “thank you” the customer leaves the waiter or waitress for serving.
Because many restaurants do not pay their serving staff very well, this makes the job
profitable for the waiters and waitresses.
How do you calculate a tip?
A tip should be at least 15%-20% of the total of the bill.
In parties of 6 or more, often the restaurant will calculate
the tip in the bill itself.
For more information on this subject see The Original
Tipping Page, http://www.tipping.org/TopPage.html
This site has guides to appropriate amounts to tip people who
provide different kinds of services, including barbershops, hair
salons, casinos, cruise ships, restaurants, and trains.
Who’s Who in a Restaurant:
Maitre d’: The headwaiter or the one of charge of the restaurant, but not necessarily the
owner. This person seats you and your party.
Captain: Takes your order, supervises the service for your table, does any carving or
filleting or flames any dishes that require these techniques at your table.
Sommelier: The wine steward, wears a chain with either the keys to the wine cellar or
an antique tasting cup.
Waiter: Serves the meal.
Busboy: Removes plates, refills the water glasses, keeps butter plates supplied and
assists the waiter.
The Amy Vanderbilt Complete Book of Etiquette, 679.
39
6-8: Everyday Etiquette
Etiquette Using Public Transportation
 A gentleman gives his seat to a lady, an
older person, a pregnant woman or a lady with a small child on a crowded train
or bus.

A younger female should give her seat to an older person, pregnant woman
or a lady with a small child.
Activities
1. Using the guidelines, have students write and enact scripts which illustrate etiquette
rules governing problems they could encounter

Etiquette rules riding on an elevator.

Etiquette rules on the elevator.

Etiquette rules on stairs.

Etiquette rules at the movies.
 Etiquette rules at the theater and musical concerts.
2. Have students pretend one is the maitre d’, one is the captain, and one is the
waiter. Have them enact a scene in a restaurant that illustrates their
responsibilities.
3. Have special guests come to the class or take class on a field trip to a restaurant to
see and hear how they enteract with patrons and the etiquette rules associated
with eating at a restaurant.
Summation:
Students sum up the proper behavior of someone
 Attending a play
 Attending a concert
 Dining at a restaurant
 Encountering people on the stairs
 Encountering people entering the restaurant.
40
6-8: Everyday Etiquette
Lesson IV: Graceful Gratitude Not Attitude!
Objectives/Goals:
Learn how to write thank you notes.
Starters:
Ask the students if they write thank you notes for presents they receive for their
birthdays or Christmas.
Ask students how it feels when they give someone a gift and receive a thank
you... do they feel appreciated?
Guidelines:
 Do not give inappropriate gifts that could embarrass you or the person to whom you
are giving the gift.

A thank-you note should follow the acceptance of the gift.

A handwritten note is always preferred over a store bought note.

Sending a thank-you note should not be connected to how much you value the gift.
 When you receive an invitation to an event that requires an RSVP, you should reply
that you are attending or not as soon as possible.
RSVP is French and is the abbreviation for “respondez s’il vous plait.”
This phrase means, “to respond if you please.”
(The Everything Etiquette Book, p. 72)
41
6-8: Everyday Etiquette
Activities: Count your Blessings
Writing a “Thank You Note
Thanks a Lot:
When to Send Thank-You Notes and How to Word Them
"Thank-you" - a simple phrase, yet one seldom said often enough. There are numerous
opportunities to say thank-you on a daily basis - to friends, for the kindness of strangers
Often a verbal thank-you will suffice, but there are those occasions that call for a more
formal written thank-you.
A handwritten thank-you note always makes a special impression. It shows you really
appreciate what someone has said or done, because you have taken the time to write
and tell them so.
Summary of the etiquette rules for thank you notes:

Use good quality stationary

Handwrite the note and the envelope.

Mail out the thank-you notes as soon as the gift is received.

Make the note as personal as possible.

Mention the gift and describe it in glowing terms.

Describe how the gift will be used.
All gifts should always be acknowledged with a thank-you note. Whether the gift was
for a birthday, anniversary, wedding, new baby, Christmas, etc.
Specifically stating what the gift was tells the giver you know what they gave you. (Be
sure
to keep a list when opening many gifts, so you don't confuse who gave you what!)
Summation:
You don't have to say how much you liked the gift (especially if you didn't) but do relay
that
theshould
gift was
useful. note?
What
be thoughtful
included inand/or
a thank-you
When should you write a thank-you note?
Thank-you notes are useful in business, too.
After a job interview, be sure to follow up with a note or a letter thanking those who
interviewed you for their time This is not only a professional courtesy, it also reminds the
interviewer of your name.
Of course, there's always an opportunity to say thank-you for no special reason at all.
Your best friend, favorite aunt, or influential teacher would certainly enjoy receiving a
thank-you note acknowledging their special support.
42
6-8: Everyday Etiquette
“Thank You!”
Activity:
All of us have been blessed with many special gifts and talents. Perhaps it is the
ability to sing or play a musical instrument. Perhaps it is athletic ability or the ability
to be compassionate and kind. Think of the special gifts or talents that you possess.
 Page 1:
Make a list brainstorming these gifts. Next to each, give a reason why you are
grateful for it.
 Your assignment is to write a thank you note of at least one paragraph to
someone (perhaps your Mom or Dad or Guardian, a teacher, a coach, a friend)
for giving their time to you, encouraging you, or teaching you a particular talent.
 Students may select a thank-you to a religious figure if they desire.
Express your appreciation and tell why you
particularly enjoy this talent or gift.
 Page 2:
Write the rough draft.
 REMEMBER:
1. 5-8 sentences
2. Correct letter format: heading, greeting, body, closing, signature.
3. Five areas of good writing: purpose, audience, reasons, style, and correct
grammar and sentence structure.
4. Signature of an adult and a classmate who helped you proofread your rough
draft on your rough draft.
5. Final copy neat, in ink, and headed properly.
6. All three papers stapled together with final on top.
43
6-8: Everyday Etiquette
Lesson V:
Ladies and Gentlemen
Objectives/Goals:
Review the characteristics of ladylike and gentlemen like behavior.
Starters:
What do you think a person described as a lady or gentleman would be like?
Can a lady or gentleman be a young person or does she/he have to be an older
person?
Is a lady or gentleman fun to have as a friend?
T
Guidelines:
The person who is ladylike

Uses the “magic” words, please, thank-you, etc.

Dresses neatly, modestly and appropriately for an occasion

Knows how meet people with a smile and a pleasant greeting

Makes introductions following the basic rules of etiquette

Knows how to make conversation

Recognizes nosy questions and gossip and avoids them

Does not ask inappropriate questions

Sends “thank-you’ notes

Knows and uses table manners
44
6-8: Everyday Etiquette

Uses a well-modulated voice

Is not generally a loud or boisterous person

Knows the difference between the European and American eating styles

Sets a formal or an informal table following either American or Continental styles

Uses a napkin correctly and often

Says “excuse me” and to leaves her napkin folded beside her plate

Knows which foods are “finger foods”

Sends thank-you notes for gifts and for a “special evening”
 Sits correctly: knees together, ankles crossed and pulled slightly back under her
chair

Knows the behavior codes for attending different types of social functions.

Practices the “Golden Rule.”

Is kind.
The person who shows gentlemanly behavior:

Opens and holds the door open for a lady to pass through
 Allows a lady to enter and exit the elevator first, holding
the door open to prevent the door from closing on the lady

Walks ahead of a lady when coming down the stairs

Walks on the curbside of the sidewalk
 Removes his hat when entering a building and in the presence of a lady, unless the
wearing of the hat is part of a religious observance

Rises when a lady enters or leaves a room.

Walks behind his female guest when they are being led to their table in a restaurant

Seats and unseats a lady in a restaurant.
45
6-8: Everyday Etiquette
 Unlocks the passenger side door, opens it and assists the lady into the car and then
closes the door for her
 Gives up his seat for a lady, older person or woman with a small child in a crowded
bus or train

Always carries an umbrella in his car

Treats others with respect

Remembers the “Golden Rule”

Is kind
HANDLING AWKWARD SITUATIONS:
OH, NO! How Embarrassing!
Activities: Tell the students:
You and your friends find yourselves in an awkward or embarrassing situation.
Following are a group of situations. Write 2-3 options as a solution to the problem
presented by the statement.
Have the students quiz their classmates on the best solution to the problem.
1. Your fork falls on the floor in a restaurant.
2. Beatrice does not like carrots and they are on her plate at a dinner in a friend’s
home.
3. There is something wedged between your teeth.
4. Charlotte knows she is going to sneeze in church. What does she do?
5. Tommy knocks over a drink and it soils the tablecloth.
6. The meal has just begun, and Israel really must go to the restroom.
7. Javon takes a bite of meat and it is full of gristle.
8. Daron is allergic to watermelon and there is some on his plate.
9. Selma and Louie go shopping. Selma spends all her money on clothes. When
they both decide they are hungry, Selma has no money to buy her own food.
What does Louie do?
10. A friend that you really do not like calls and asks to spend the night at your
house.
46
6-8: Everyday Etiquette
11. Martine borrows a prized piece of your jewelry. You want it back.
12. You are sitting across the table from a girl (or boy). This person is chewing their
food with her or his mouth wide open.
13. You decide you want to watch a TV show with a friend. Should you call before
you go to her house?
14. Your friend, Betty, is giving a party, but you do not get an invitation.
15. You invite two friends who do not get along with each other to a party at your
house. Each says that she or he will not come if the other one comes.
16. You are on the phone and your call waiting sounds.
17. You are eating dinner and the phone rings.
18. You are having some friends over and purposefully did not ask a certain person.
This person calls, she has found out about the party and keeps asking the date
and time.
20. Molly and her sister Mary, have a huge fight just before a holiday. They ask you
to take sides.
21. Your old friends do not like your new friends.
22. You are at a party and they are serving “hot wings.” There are no places to put
the bones.
23. A friend invited you to her mosque service. You want to go, but you are afraid
you will embarrass yourself and your friend.
24. You arrive at a party and realize that you are not dressed appropriately.
25. You invite a friend over to spend the night, but once they arrive, you know you
want them to leave.
Summation:
What are the characteristics of a ladylike or gentlemanly person?
How much does caring for others have to do with being a lady or a gentleman?
47