I QUIT!
This six-week sermon series helps us look at our lives with honesty and clarity. Is
it time to quit pretending everything is fine and change your life? Before we can
start new, we have to quit the old!
Rev. Martha Campbell
Stop Being Afraid & Start Living
I Quit Series Matthew 4:1-11 (temptation of Jesus)
March 13, 2011
First of Lent
Today is the first Sunday of Lent. Lent, the season of reflection, preparation and repentance,
actually began a few days ago on Ash Wednesday. Earlier we heard Dennis read a very traditional
passage for this first Sunday. It tells of Jesus’ temptation in the wilderness. Jesus had gone into a
barren desert wasteland to be alone for a period of prayer and fasting before he began his ministry
of teaching. After forty days he was, as we read in Matthew, famished. It is then that the devil comes
and offers Jesus ways to use his gifts selfishly. The temptations are such that they could only come
to a person who had very special powers and knew that he had them. These are not our temptations
or tests.
The first temptation is for food. The ground was strewn with little limestone rocks that were
shaped like small loaves of bread. Jesus could use his power selfishly and for his own use. He could
feed himself. But there is also a deeper temptation. How was he going to reach people for God his
Father. One can always get followers if you meet their material needs. In a hungry world, offering
food would be a sure way to get people’s attention. Instead Jesus responds, “One does not live by
bread alone…”
The second temptation was to throw himself off a high pinnacle knowing that God would
not allow him to fall and be hurt. Again on one level, this was about testing God instead of trusting
him. On the other it was about whether or not to put on a spectacular show so people would listen
to his teachings. Again Jesus quotes from the psalms, “Do not put the Lord your God to the test.”
The third temptation was to have all the kingdoms of the world bow down before him. Here
was the world Jesus had come to save. All he had to do was work with the devil, compromise a little
bit and it would be all so much easier. Yet if he did, what would be the point? Jesus tells Satan to
leave saying, “Worship the Lord your God, and serve only him.”
“So Jesus made his decision. He decided he must never bribe people into following him; he
decided that the way of sensationalism was not for him; he decided there could be no compromise
in the message he preached and in the faith he demanded. That choice inevitably meant the cross –
but the cross just as inevitably meant the final victory and our salvation.” (W. Barclay)
As we stand this morning at the beginning of another Lenten season, we recognize that our
temptations and tests are not those of Jesus. Yet we also know that we too experience temptations,
ways to make our lives easier, if only for the moment, that separate us from God. So this morning
we are also starting a new sermon series called “I Quit! Stop pretending everything is fine and
change your life.”
Geri Scazzero describes her understanding this way. “Traditionally, the Christian community
hasn’t placed much value on quitting. In fact, just the opposite is true; it is endurance and
perseverance we most esteem. For many of us, the notion of quitting is completely foreign. When I
was growing up, quitters were considered weak, bad sports and babies. I never quit any of the
groups or teams I was part of. I do remember briefly quitting the Girl Scouts, but I soon rejoined.
Quitting is not a quality we admire – in ourselves or in others. The kind of quitting I am talking
about isn’t about weakness or giving up in despair. It is about strength and choosing to live in the
truth, because biblical quitting goes hand in hand with choosing new life. (I Quit, pg. 15)
So let’s begin with quitting our fear of what others think and embracing our life in Christ.
We start by being honest with ourselves and before God. Too often most of us will settle for
appearances. We want others to think we are kind or generous or patient even if we are not. Or
spiritually mature even if we are not. Or a good co-worker? Or honest? Sometimes we actively work
to meet other’s expectations. How often do we twist what we say so the story is more in our favor?
Or so the truth is watered down but more palatable? How often do we do or say something in order
to gain approval? How often do we refrain from what is right because it will be hard and we will be
criticized?
When we grow afraid of what others think, and we begin pretending we are someone we are
not, then all our energy goes to protecting our image. The reality isn’t important – the image is. That
is why we are so fascinated when a politician or celebrity of one kind or another gets caught in a PR
nightmare. They didn’t know the microphone was still on. Or they never thought someone might
get a copy of their voice mail. The carefully created and maintained image is shattered if only for a
moment. The blunt honesty can be shocking.
The key piece here is when we accept what others tell us we ought to be instead of
what God is leading us to be. There is an insert in your bulletin this morning that I would like you
to pull out. At the top it reads, “When we stop being afraid of what others think, we can embrace
the life we are offered in Christ.” I invite you to take some time for reflection and honestly answer:
what do you do (that you would not do otherwise) to earn approval. What don’t you do (that you
might want to do) in order to avoid criticism. These are big questions and important ones. As always
when we talk about these things, common sense does prevail. There are good behaviors that are
reinforced by the approval of others and bad behavior that deserves disapproval – ask any parent of
a young child!
For us to stop living in fear of what others think, we have to remember and cling to the
source of our great value. Our self-worth comes from two things. First, each one of us is created
in God’s image. “Being made in God’s image means we have inherent worth. We are sacred
treasures, infinitely valuable as humans apart from anything we do.” Second, “we have a new
identity in Christ. When we begin a relationship with Christ, we find our new identity in him. We
now rely on Jesus’ sinless record for our relationship with God. We are lovable, okay, and good
enough because of Christ. There is nothing left to prove.” (pg. 29)
When we forget this, we get off track. When we accept others expectations as the source of
our self-worth, we separate ourselves from God. We begin living a lie and we begin telling lies to
ourselves and others in order to maintain appearances. Instead we should love ourselves for God’s
sake. That may sound strange but think about it. Do you believe that God loves you? The answer is
yes, God loves you whether you believe it or not. God sent his son Jesus that each of us might know
this truth. Because God loves you right now at this very moment just the way you are, then you
should love yourself as well. If you are good enough for God to love, then you are good enough for
you to love!
By adulthood we accumulate millions of messages, spoken and unspoken, from our families,
cultures, even our churches. They tell us what we must do, be, think, and feel in order to be loved,
accepted and approved. For this reason, making the decision to quit being afraid of what others
think is not a one-time act but an ongoing spiritual discipline.
This week I ask you to commit yourself to a daily practice. Reflect for a moment: Were you
tempted to be other than who you are in your recent interactions with others? Ask God to help you
quit being afraid so you can embrace the life you are offered in Christ. When you came in this
morning, you were given a plastic bracelet with a word. This is your by-word for the next six weeks.
When you are tempted to fall back into an old habit or tempted to let others decide your value and
self-worth, the word on your bracelet is for your encouragement.
Our Lent journey is just beginning. It is a good time for looking at our lives honestly and
remembering the love God has for each of us.
You will find in your bulletin a lavender paper we gave to help us prepare. The sheet lists
three traditional areas of Christian spiritual discipline and growth for this season. Let me go over it
quickly. We begin as always with prayer. As you already have heard, you simply can’t place too high
an urgency on this one. Find a good time when you can be alone with God. Use the scripture lesson
from Sunday to read and reread through the week or choose something else. The key is to do it on
purpose each day.
The second tradition is fasting. This idea is one many Protestants struggle with but as you
can read, “Thoughtful self-denial cleanses both the body and the soul. It may be food or TV or a
behavior that needs to be sacrificed. We give something up or sacrifice it because of the sacrifice
Jesus made for our sakes. Within Westminster I know of someone who is giving up cigarettes,
someone who is giving up sweets and another who is giving up feelings of resentment. You get the
idea.
The final traditional area of preparation is in giving. We who have been
blessed with so much are called to share and to give in many ways. Here at Westminster you will
have three different opportunities as well as your regular tithes and offerings. This month we are
collecting white dress shirts fro the young men living at the Leroy Haynes center. Or you can make
Easter baskets next month. Or you can support One Great Hour of Sharing offering to support the
wider church as it helps those who are refugees, victims of a natural disaster or living in deep
poverty.
Lent lasts forty days, not counting Sundays which are considered “little Easters”!
I Quit!
I Deserve Better
John 3:1-17
Twining F. Campbell III
Westminster
March 20, 2011
We’re beginning to settle in to the season on this second Sunday of Lent. But there’s a
little voice way back in our heads whispering, “Do you really need this?” Lent is a season of
penitence, sacrifice and contemplation. “Do we need this, really?” Church folk friends that
don’t observe Lent say that it’s “works righteousness.” At the same time there are a good
number of Lent observing folks that consider it a pain. Do we really need the season of
Lent? If you wait a few moments in this sacred place; if you relax in the warmth and quiet;
your soul whispers back, “Yes, we do. I do.”
David Lose said, “I need Lent. Just maybe I need a time to focus, to get my mind off of
my career, my social life, my next writing project – and a hundred other things to which I
look for meaning – and center myself in Meaning itself.” (Lose, D. The Trouble (And
Blessing) of Lent. Huffington Post: 3-7-11 at 9:40 pm)
He goes on, “…maybe I need a time (is 4o days really enough) to help clear my head of
the distractions… and orient myself toward the Maker of all… Maybe I need the
opportunity (and perhaps deep down I crave the chance!) to clear my eyes of the glaze of
indifference and apathy… maybe Lent isn’t really isn’t mine to do with whatever I please…
Maybe Lent is God’s gift to a people starving for meaning, for courage, for comfort, for life…
Seen this way, Lent reminds of whose we are. The sacrifices [and] disiciplines are not
intended as good works offered by us to God; rather they are God’s gifts to us to remind us
who we are… God’s treasure, so priceless that God was willing to go to any length… to any
depth – to tell us that we are loved, that we have value, that we have purpose. …Yes. I need
Lent. …I need a time to be quiet and still, a time to crane my neck and lift my head,
straining to hear again what was promised at Baptism: ‘You are mine! I love you! I am with
you!’” (Ibid.)
I pray, Renee, Jay and Jenny heard those words as they were baptized here last week.
I pray they heard Jesus explanation of God’s love to Nicodemus: “For God so loved the
world that he sent his only begotten son, so that everyone who believeth in him may not
perish but have eternal life,” (John 3:16) and knew it applied to them, just as it applies to
each one of us. “For God so loved Renee, Jay, Jenny, Ernie, Margie, Shirley, Herb that he sent
his only son so that she/he may not perish but have everlasting life.” Because if you hear
those words and you know God means it, then you can say to all the busyness in your life, “I
quit! I deserve better than this!”
Lent is about quitting all the distractions and relaxing into the love of God.
Unfortunately the distractions may seem good. To often we focus our attention on what we
aren’t going do anymore or what we give up and we let that define our faith. “We have put
so much emphasis on avoiding evil that we have become virtually blind to the endless
opportunities of doing good. We have defined holiness through what we separate
ourselves from rather than what we give ourselves to. I am convinced the great tragedy is
not the sins that we commit, but the life we fail to live.” (McManus, E. Seizing Your Divine
Moment. (Nelson:2002) p 34)
How did this happen? Oddly enough, I think it comes from misunderstanding what
Jesus meant. Here is a verse that many will know from Luke 19: “For the Son of Man came
to seek and save the lost.” (v.10)
What does “lost” mean? Many people may define it as “Someone who is going to hell
because they have not believed in Jesus.” (Zander, D. The Gospel Revisited. Discipleship
Journal: Jan|Feb 2004) What does “saved” mean? “Somone who has eternal life because
they have believed in Jesus and asked Him to forgive their sins” (Ibid.)
Let’s look at some words in John 3:16, “For God so loved the world that he gave his
only begotten Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
What does “believe” mean? “To agree that Jesus, God’s Son, paid for our sins thereby
giving us eternal life.” Thus “eternal life” means that I will have “life in heaven with Jesus
when I die.” (Ibid.)
Thousands, hundreds of thousands, perhaps millions of people use those definitions.
They are defining their faith, their lives, holiness through what they separate themselves
from rather than what they are giving their lives to. Perhaps that’s why the Christian faith,
which has contributed more to the world and its history than any other, is portrayed as
narrow minded and dismal. It’s no surprise, at least to me, that so many people quit going
to church and let their spiritual lives atrophy.
The season of Lent can help us recover the life God intends. I mentioned earlier that
Lent is a time of “penitence, sacrifice and contemplation” so consider this verse from Mark:
“Jesus came to Galilee, proclaiming the good news of God, and saying, ‘The time has come,
and the kingdom of God has come near; repent and believe in the good news.”
A typical “definition of repentance [may be] – to be very sorry – [but that] doesn’t
make much sense in this passage. No one can be very sorry for not having previously
known something that has just been announced as news. One can, however, change in
response to news.” (Ibid.) This is in fact what repentance means – to turn around. You’ve
been going in one direction, you hear about God’s love in Jesus, and you turn around and
start going in a different direction. Lent is a time to contemplate our direction and, when
necessary, turn around.
When you start going in a different direction you may discover that some of those
other definitions have also changed. Lost [doesn’t mean someone is going to hell, it means]
to be out of place. That’s what Jesus telling us “The sheep is not in the fold with the
shepherd [who goes out and looks for it]. The coin has rolled under the couch [and the
woman moves and cleans everything until she finds it]. The son is living with pigs rather
than at home with his father.” (Ibid.)
We need Lent. We need a time to say “I quit because I deserve better” when we are
lost. A lot of people “feel lost. They don’t who they are, they don’t know what they’re
supposed to do, they don’t know what’s going to happen to them. In contrast, most people
don’t feel as if they are going to hell. Jesus’ gospel is good news for these people because it
addresses the present in which they live, not an afterlife they are contemplating.”
“If a person is lost, then being saved means being found and brought back to a place of
belonging. …So ‘being saved’ isn’t only about our eternal disposition; it’s about accepting
an invitation to return to the right place.”
Believe means more than intellectual agreement. It means “to trust or depend on
someone or something. I can say I believe that chair will hold me… To place myself in the
chair, to put my full weight on the seat, is to believe.” (Ibid.) To “believe in Jesus” means
trusting him with your entire life. When you think about it that’s what many of the gospel
stories are about: people learning and choosing to trust Jesus with their lives.
John 3:16 ends, “ they shall not perish, but have eternal life.” Jesus defines this later in
John’s gospel when he says: “This is eternal life: that they [my disciples] may know you, the
only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent.” (John 17:3 [NRSV]) “Eternal life, a
life of intimacy with God starts now and continues as we move [throughout] this life to the
next. Eternal life is… news about what God is offering us [right now] in the present.”
(Zander, D.)
In your Order of Service there was an insert and a balloon. The balloon is a simple
reminder: we were made to be filled with the breath of life. An empty balloon is not fun to
play with. It has to be full to be useful. If you are unfulfilled or unhappy with your life you
don’t have to stay that way. Say, “I quit! I deserve better.” Then turn around, in this season
of penitence, and let yourself be filled with a new understanding of God’s love, joy and
peace – the breath of life.
There was also an insert for your contemplation this week. What ideas, attitudes or
practices do you need to get rid of; do you need to bury? Write them down on the
tombstone. As you reflect on that you will also recognize God’s gifts to you that allow you
to trust Jesus and be aware of his presence with you everyday – write those down on the
balloon.
There are four weeks left in this season of Lent and they provide us with an
opportunity to figure out what direction we’re going in and, if necessary, to turn around
and quit going that way. It’s Ok to change direction because we deserve better; after all, we
are God’s children and he says to each one of us: “I want you! You are mine! I love you!
And I am with you; always!”
Let us pray,
Rev. Martha Campbell
I Quit! The End of Pretending
Luke 12:1-7 (avoiding hypocrisy)
March 27, 2011
Third Lent
Today is our third Sunday in Lent and the third in our sermon series exploring the areas in
our lives where we need to be honest with ourselves and transparent with others in order to draw
closer to God. It is a major challenge to admit personal change is needed. The comfortable patterns
and habits of our lives are hard to break. Yet we are deeply drawn to become the authentic person
each is meant to be in the eyes of Christ.
Have you ever noticed that the picture of your favorite author never changes? Year after
year, book after book, they remain unchanged by time. I often wonder what they must look like
now. One famous author experienced the other side of this. “A woman in the hotel check-in line
was holding one of my books under her arm. I was hesitant to introduce myself lest she explain that
her doctor had prescribed the volume as insomnia treatment. But I took the risk. She actually said
she liked it. But on second glance she didn’t believe that I was who I said I was. She flipped open
the dust jacket, looked at my picture, then up at me. “You’re not Max Lucado.” “Yes I am. The
picture was taken many years ago; I’ve changed.” With no smile she looked again at the photo.
“No,” she insisted, “Max Lucado has a mustache, no wrinkles and a full head of hair.” “He used to,”
I explained. She wouldn’t budge. “He still does.” I started to show her my driver’s license but opted
to let her live with her delusion. After all, if she wanted to remember me as a thirty-year-old, who
was I to argue.
He continues, “Besides, I understand her reluctance. Once you have something pegged, it’s
easier to leave them there. She had me figured out. Defined. Captured. Frozen in time. Max-in-abox…Boxes bring wonderful order to our world. They keep cereal from spilling and books from
tumbling. When it comes to containing stuff, boxes have no competition. But when it comes to
explaining people, they fall short.” (Fearless, pg 163) When it comes to mastering our emotions,
boxing them up actually does more harm than good.
This morning we are going to look at our emotions. Emotions are messy so we don’t usually
like to talk about them – let alone feel them. If we do, it is to discuss how we are going to analyze
and tame them and get them back in their cage. We may even pretend we don’t have certain feelings
because they are not acceptable. The truth is our emotions are God-given gifts to guide us and
direct us. If we are traveling a new road, our emotions are the traffic signals and signs that will help
guide us and keep us safely on the journey of deeper discipleship.
For many years therapists and others have divided all human emotions into four major
categories. They are mad, sad, glad and afraid. Plus love but that is a separate subject. Just to get us
on the same page, let’s quickly give a definition of each according to Webster! Mad is to be greatly
provoked or irritated, even enraged. To be mad is to be angry. Take a moment – can you remember
a time when you were mad…at someone close to you or a situation or at God? Sad is to grieve,
sorrow or mourn. It is associated with loss. To be sad is different than being depressed. When have
you been sad - Maybe at the death of a loved one or the close of a chapter in your life such as
graduating from college or moving to a new part of the country? Glad is to feel joy or pleasure.
Glad has deeper resources and cause than happy. Are there pieces and people in your life that make
you glad to get up in the morning? Finally is afraid or fear. According to the dictionary fear is the
distressing emotion (which apparently mad and sad are not) aroused by impending danger, evil or
pain. Have you ever been afraid? When the earthquake starts and you don’t know if this is the one?
Or someone says to you, “We need to talk.” Or it is time to stand up and be counted even though
there will be a cost.
All four of these emotions exist in each and every one of us. The way we express and
respond to certain emotions is directly related to how they were handled in our families of origin. If
your parents or caregivers limited their range of thoughts and feelings, it naturally follows that your
range of acceptable wishes and emotions is also restricted. Children who are not allowed to express
certain feelings, over time, conclude, “Why feel those emotions in the first place?” They stop
expressing them and eventually they stop acknowledging their existence. Unwritten rules such as
good girls don’t get angry (because they have nothing to be angry about) or big boys don’t cry
(because they don’t express their “limited” emotions that way) create real barriers that stifle
authenticity and spontaneity in relationships. (I Quit! pg 91)
There is another serious consideration when we discuss emotional authenticity. That is
whether or not our emotions are justified. This is very hard to hear and accept for some of us. Just
because we feel something doesn’t make it valid. It is real and we really do feel it, but it may have no
basis in reality and should therefore be confronted and addressed as soon as possible. For example,
many years ago Twine and I had a working dinner at our home for the current church officers and
their spouses. Another member of the church who considered themself to be a good friend of mine,
heard about the dinner (which had been described to them as a party). They were very angry and
hurt that I had not invited them. They also had the integrity to call me up and ask me why they
weren’t included. I quickly cleared up the misunderstanding. Not an officer, not a spouse, not
invited and by the way, this is what we talked about! So while the anger was truly felt, it was also not
justified. Nothing had happened to deserve anger. A few weeks ago I spoke about there being times
when we simply have to get over it and this was one of those. It happens all the time! Reality does
count and it is important!
Strangely enough, as much as we may talk about or discuss feelings, many of us have no clue
what exactly we are feeling or why. Have you ever realized at some point in your day or in your
evening that you were really upset about something but didn’t know what. First you have to figure
out the source of your unease. Maybe it was recent conversation with a co-worker. Then you have to
figure out if you are angry about something or did it make you sad or did it bring up something you
fear? So now you know the cause and what you are feeling but you then need to think through your
response if any. We are to feel our feelings, we are not always to follow through on them! Aren’t
feelings fun?
Some of you may be thinking this never happens to you. You always know at the time how
you are feeling. But trust me, it happens all the time and to everyone sitting around you. Whether we
admit it or not, whether we recognize our feelings or not, they shape the way we live our lives and
interact with God and those around us. Our feelings color our world and how we engage in it. Once
again you have an insert in your bulletin for you to think about this week. On one side it offers two
reflection questions. Using your bracelet word for encouragement, first think about where you are
trapped by an unacknowledged feeling. Because the emotion isn’t recognized by you, it may feel like
a place where you are stuck. You think about it a lot but you don’t know why. Our feelings of anger,
fear or sadness can leave us feeling caged, like the empty bird cage on the communion table. Second,
by letting go of a specific incident of anger, fear or sadness, what can you now do? These are good
questions and deserve your thoughtful responses. Don’t let your emotions become cages. Instead
they are to be like the birthday candle you were given – shedding light and celebrating life.
Of the four emotions mad, sad, glad and afraid, one of them is going to be much harder for
you to deal with than the others, for whatever reason. I read recently that 81% of Americans lie
about their emotions. Yet that is not what God wants for any of us. In the scripture lesson we read
this morning, Jesus is speaking to his disciples. He is angry with the Pharisees and pointing out the
hypocrisy of their ways. They say one thing but do another. How often do we do that with our
feelings? We try to deny or ignore our true feelings as if we can hide them. Jesus says, “Nothing is
covered up that will not be uncovered, and nothing secret that will not be known.” What we feel is already known
by God so pretending otherwise gets a bit pointless. Even the feelings we are ashamed of are known
by God. The best part is that God still loves and accepts us.
Jesus continued his teaching that day by calling attention to the sparrows that could be
bought in every village. In Matthew he says you can buy two for a penny but Luke goes a step
further. “Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? And not one of them is forgotten before God.” Max Lucado
describes it this way: “In the days of Jesus a penny was one of the smallest coins in circulation. One
such penny could buy two sparrows. In other words, everyone could own a couple of sparrows. But
why would they? What purpose did they serve? One penny buys you two sparrows, two pennies
buys you five. The seller threw in a fifth one for free. Society still has its share of fifth sparrows:
souls who feel dispensable, disposable, worth less than a penny. What they share is a feeling of
smallness.”
Max Lucado wrote a children’s book called “You Are Special.” The story describes
Punchinello, a wooden boy in a village of wooden people. The villagers had a practice of sticking
stars on the achievers and dots on the strugglers. Punchinello had so many dots that people gave
him more dots for no reason at all. But then he met Eli, his maker. Eli affirmed him and told him to
disregard the opinions of others. “I made you, he explained, “and I don’t make mistakes.”
Punchinello had never heard such words. When he did, his dots began to fall off. When he heard
such words, his world began to change.
Jesus tells us that God our creator knows the very number of hairs on our heads. God made
us and God doesn’t make mistakes. We are valued even as we are known. That includes our Godgiven feelings. So it is time to stop boxing our feelings or caging them or pretending they don’t exist.
They do exist and they are gifts that help us grow in our faith. God already knows how you feel
about everything and responds, “You are of more value than many sparrows.”
I Quit! Twining F. Campbell III
I Won’t Be A Victim
Westminster
John 9:1-25
April 3, 2011
This is the fourth Sunday in Lent. Easter is only three weeks away and there are only
two weeks left in our “I Quit!” series. We are considering aspects of our lives where we
have to do more than just change our daily schedule. We have to find the courage to quit
anything that is not part of Christ’s kingdom. “The kind of quitting [we’re] talking about
isn’t about weakness or giving up in despair. It is about strength and choosing to live in the
truth. This requires the death of illusions. Biblical quitting goes hand in hand with
choosing. When we quit those things that are damaging our souls… we are freed up to
choose other ways of being and relating that are rooted in love and [that] lead to life. [So]
…quitting is a way of putting off what Scripture calls falsehood and the old self. As Paul
writes [to the Ephesians] ‘Put off your old self… and put on the new self, created to be like
God in true righteousness and holiness.’ (Eph. 4:22, 24)” (Scazzero, G. I Quit! (Zondervan:
2010) pp 15-16) As you take out your “I Quit!” insert you will find some questions about
what we need to change in order to become the people God created us to be.
In the opening verses of the lesson from John’s gospel we hear the disciples talking
about an old way of thinking that Jesus is about to change forever. There they are walking
along, on the Sabbath, when Jesus spots a blind man. The disciples ask him, “Rabbi, who
sinned, this man or his parents?” (9:2) The disciples wanted simple information: who is to
blame? Then they offered some possible solutions. You see, the disciples have been with
Jesus for a while and they are trying to be theologians by demonstrating their abilities to
recognize the cause and effect for this man’s blindness.
In the days of the disciples there were four possibilities – though only three were
considered. First was the pagan belief of reincarnation – the man was blind because of
something he’d done in a previous life. The Jews never accepted this as a possible
explanation.
Second, there was the well known possibility handed down through the faith: “… I am a
jealous God, punishing children for the iniquity of parents, to the third and fourth
generation of those who reject me…” (Ex. 20:5) So it could have been the blind man’s
parents, grandparents, great-grandparents or even further back. It is certainly a possibility.
A third explanation is that “the sin of Adam was passed to every member of the human
family. We are [all] subject to disease and death.
“Finally, the Jews believed that a child in the womb could sin. (Personally, this is hard
for me to conceive.)” (Gray, N. Sermon: Stop Playing the Blame Game)
From the disciples point of view, someone had to be responsible. Jesus turns it all
around when he says, “No. No one is to blame; he was born blind so that God’s works might
be revealed in him.” Here are words that should lift every heart and spirit; every worry and
concern of those who suffer. Notice the blind man didn’t blame anyone, nor did he feel
compelled to prove his innocence; he was just very happy to be healed.
When Jesus said, “He was born blind so that God’s works might be revealed in him.”
(John 9:3) he meant that this blind man, like every one of us, could be on the receiving end
of God’s work in a wonderful relationship. Jesus wasn’t interested in finding the cause of
the suffering rather he wanted us to choose how we would deal with it. “Our mind cannot
explain the reason for our suffering, but our attitude can determine the outcome of the
suffering.” (Yap, V. Sermon: More Than Conquerors) Our attitude can determine our
identity.
Many of you can remember when Ross Perot ran for President against George Bush and
Bill Clinton. There were a series of debates among the Presidential candidates and one
among the Vice Presidential candidates. Perot’s running mate was, retired Rear Admiral,
James Stockdale. At the beginning of the debate Mr. Stockdale began his remarks with:
“Who am I? Where am I? and, What am I doing here? A lot of people thought this was a
very clever and funny way to begin… but as the debate went on… it became painfully clear
that this poor guy was serious. (Sauer, K. Sermon: Identity Crisis. Parkview UMC) And that
brings me to the point of today’s message because that is a question we have to answer as
well, and the temptation to be a victim is enormous.
One of the challenges every one of us faces is the temptation to slip into a “victim
mentality with little or no control over our lives. [It is easy to succumb to the temptation]
because there are some real benefits of the victim mentality:
 Attention and validation. You can always get good feelings from other
people as they are concerned about you and try to help you out. On the other hand,
it may not last for long as people get tired of it.
 You don’t have to take risks. When you feel like a victim you tend to not
take action because then you don’t have to risk rejection or failure.
 You don’t have to take, the sometimes heavy, responsibility. Taking
responsibility for your own life can be hard work, you have to make difficult
decisions and it is just heavy sometimes. In the short term it can feel like the easier
choice is to not take personal responsibility.
 It makes you feel right. When you feel like the victim and that everyone
else – or just someone else – is wrong and you are right; then that can lead to
pleasurable feelings.”
(Liebel, S. C. Blog post: Don’t be a Victim of the Victim Mentality)
Knowing these “benefits” can help us recognize when we are being tempted. We don’t
have to live with a victim mentality. We can say: “I quit!” That’s when we turn to Jesus,
have a relationship with him and end up on the receiving end of his work in the world. As
Jesus prepared to heal the blind man he told the disciples: “As long as I am in the world, I
am the light of the world.” (9:5) He is still the light of the world. We can walk in his light.
All we have to do is make some changes.
The insert we provided asks five questions that can help us face down some of those
temptations so that we can stand tall and say, “I quit! I won’t be a victim!”
1. Where do you need to turn from blame to personal responsibility? (For some of you
this the first number on your insert; for the rest of you it is the third because I forgot to
change the other columns before printing – and I didn’t want to throw away all that paper.)
Blaming someone else “will not change your condition.” (Cardone, G.) The Pharisees
certainly leaned in this direction. Here they were confronted by a blind man who has been
healed and they need to make a decision. The man born blind has had his life turned
around by Jesus.
But the Pharisees, who had the facts, literally staring at them, chose blindness over
faithfulness. They wanted to feel right. They didn’t want to take responsibility. They
didn’t want to take a risk. They despised having someone else getting attention and
validation – even if they were doing the work of God. They chose to be victims and remain
spiritually blind. They said, “Jesus is to blame.”
2. Where do you need to move from self-pity to self-esteem? The reason people
struggle with this is because they don’t take responsibility for their lives and they know it.
Ask, ‘“Does someone have it worse on this planet?” This changes our perspective from a
narrow self-centered one into a wider vision. It also helps us ask another question: ‘What
is the hidden opportunity in this situation?’” (Edberg, H. The Positivity Blog, post: How to
Break Out of a Victim Mentality.) Which may help us find something good even in
unpleasant situations.
3. Where do you need to change helplessness into assertiveness? “Whenever we look
to others to solve our problems we are basically assigning blame to another party for our
problem… [and it makes us] less able to act and more dependent. (Cardone, G.) Jesus made
the man go and find the pool of Siloam before his sight was restored. He had to go or he
would have remained blind. That man may have been born blind but he wasn’t helpless so
he went and recovered his sight.
4. Where do you need to change guilt to forgiveness? Habits die hard. Martha and I
spent five weeks talking about Forgiveness – The Real ‘F’ Word. They’re on our website
check them out. You may need to forgive some group, someone else, or even yourself.
When you are living forgiven you know you aren’t a victim.
5. Finally, Where do you need to find approval from within instead of from others? As
you quit blaming and take responsibility for your life, and answer all these other questions
you will be able “to stop relying on external validation like praise from other people to feel
good about yourself. Instead you will start building a stability within and a sort of inner
spring that fuels your life positively – no matter what others say.” (Edberg, H.)
It wasn’t part of our lesson, but the man born blind doesn’t cooperate with the
Pharisees so they drive him out. Jesus hears about it, goes looking for him and finds him.
Jesus asks, ‘“Do you believe in the Son of Man?’ He answered, ‘And who is he, sir? Tell me,
so that I may believe in him.’ Jesus said to him, ‘You have seen him, and the one speaking
with you is he.’ He said, ‘Lord, I believe.’” (John 9:35-38) The light of the world is shining
on you. The Son of Man is speaking to you. Look in that little mirror. Don’t think of
yourself as a victim. Say, “I quit: I won’t be a victim so that the works of God may be
revealed in me.”
Let us pray,
Rev. Martha Campbell
I Quit! No Need To Do It All!
Exodus 18:13-27 One person cannot do it all…
April 10, 2011
Fifth in Lent
Neil Rudenstine was the president of Harvard University in the mid-nineties. For the first
three years of his administration, he did it all. Rudenstine was passionate about big and small things.
He methodically raised $1 million a day for a school that was already flush with a four billion dollar
endowment, the largest of any private university. Besides spending twelve hours a day on a
demanding job, he fretted banquet menus, argued about his ten dollar medical co-pay, and wrote
notes to the football coach, Harvard Crimson editors, staff and dorm masters.
One morning in November he over slept. He couldn’t go to work that day and was
diagnosed with severe fatigue and exhaustion. The directors insisted he take an indefinite leave of
absence to recover from the extreme weariness. The university president did not return in seven
days (as he first thought he would). Nor did he return in seven weeks. Instead it took him a full
seven months before he could recuperate. Rudenstine latter revealed that he recuperated by listening
to music, reading books and sunning in the Caribbean with his wife.
Like the former Harvard president, many people have to learn that they simply were not
designed by God to do it all! So this morning on the fifth Sunday in Lent as we continue with our “I
Quit!” series, we are going to be exploring personal boundaries and the problem of overfunctioning. “We over-function when we do for others what they can and should do for themselves.
Overfunctioners prevent people, including themselves, from growing up. The street, however, runs
both ways. Wherever you find an over-functioner, an underfunctioner inevitably follows close
behind. (I Quit!, pg. 14)
If you are wondering whether you have a tendency to cross over appropriate boundaries, let
me share ten short statements and see if they describe you. I generally know the right way to do
things. I move in quickly to advise or fix things so they don’t fall apart. I have difficulty allowing
others to struggle with their own problems. In the long run, it is simply easier if I do it myself. I
don’t trust others to do as good a job as I would myself. Even if I am all ready overloaded, I will still
say yes. I cover for others’ shortcomings to protect them. People describe me as “stable” of “Having
it altogether.” I don’t like asking for help because I don’t want to be a burden. I like being needed.
The more those statements resonate in your life, the more likely you are trying to take
responsibility for other people and their lives. The biggest problem is it simply does not work – not
for them and not for you. It is a lesson many have had to learn the hard way.
A great example of this is Moses. Here is a charismatic leader who convinced a slave
population to risk their lives and escape from Egypt. They are now safe in the wilderness and the
euphoria and excitement are long gone. Now is the time to establish an infrastructure that will keep
order. They now live in the ordinary and routine. In this setting we find that Moses is not a great
administrator. He has not learned to delegate. So in the passage we read, Moses is acting as the sole
judge for disputes among the tribes and thousands of people. The people stand in long lines waiting
for the moment when they will present their case to him. It is in this setting that his father-in-law
Jethro observes him at work.
Victor Yap describes the situation this way: “Not only did Moses disregard his family, the
signs of the people’s disappointment, discouragement, and discontent were clear to Jethro. “You will
surely wear yourself out, both you and these people with you.” (18:18) The Hebrew word for “wear out” means
to make nothing or make foolish. The outcome of micro-management was futility and
foolhardiness. In Moses’ case working more was not doing more or succeeding much, except for
more waiting on the part of others! The people, and not Moses alone, will suffer the cost of solo
management in no time. The people who needlessly stood in line would one day become impatient
with waiting, discouraged with delay and unhappy with Moses.” (sermon Freedom to Work) Moses’
inability to delegate creates a three-fold problem.
First, he is doing himself and his family harm. Like the president of Harvard learned,
everyone needs time for rest and recovery time. Everyone needs time to spend alone with God and
time to spend with those closest to them. Second, the people were deprived of reasonable justice.
Because everything had to go through Moses, it stifled initiative and created resentment. And finally
it deprived the elders and other competent people from using their talent. Other people wanted to
lead and to help but were not allowed to. Henry Ford, one of Time magazine’s top twenty builder
and titans of the twentieth century was also a failure at delegating. Time reported that for 19 years,
from 1908-1927, he took over all decision making at Ford Motor Company. During that period he
ignored calls to diversify, set spies to catch his managers who dared to make decisions on their own,
turned on some of his best and brightest when they launched or designed something other than his
beloved model T, and even chided customers for wanting a different color other than black.
(Famously saying, You can have any color you want as long as it is black!)
What happens when you or I start taking responsibility for everything? Just as in Moses’
time, there are serious consequences. As we look at these, again remember it goes both ways. You
may be the one who is over-functioning or you may be the one who is under-functioning. If you
look at the communion table, you may be the one sitting in the big chair or you may be the one
sitting in the small chair.
The first major consequence is it breeds resentment. This happens when we do not let
others complete a task without our interference or even taking over. This includes unsolicited advice
as to the best way to proceed. On the one hand is a feeling of resentment on the part of the person
being overwhelmed by help and a sense of martyrdom or sainthood (depending on how it is going)
on the part of the one who thinks they are doing the saving. He obviously can’t take care of this
himself, so I better get involved. This kind of stepping in is actually a stepping on top of and it
always carries an implied criticism. Obviously, they are not doing it right and you will save the day.
This kind of continuous interference leads to the second consequence – it perpetuates
immaturity. We grow by trying, by doing something new. We grow by practice. We grow by doing
it ourselves over and over again until we have the skill set down. This is true in every part of our
lives – from relationships to growing vegetables. It means risking failure and pain. No one ever
learns to cook until they step into a kitchen and start getting some pans dirty. Every good parent
learns the difficult reality that they cannot spare their child pain even when we would gladly take it
from them. When we over-function, we prevent others from growing up. And when we let someone
take over our life so we can avoid pain, we are also the avoiding the hard work and joy of new skills.
Over functioning and under functioning also kills the spirit. If you are the one doing too
much, you are using up all your time in what does not belong to you. What falls under your care is
your own spirit and relationship with God. That takes your time and your time alone. No one can
do this for you. You cannot become the person God wants you to be because you don’t know who
that is. Nor can you do it for someone else. Each one of us has to walk our own path of
discipleship. No one can do it for us.
Finally over-functioning and under-functioning destroys relationships and community.
Healthy relationships require respect. The endless criticism implied in being the only capable person
in the room destroys self-respect. Healthy community requires that individuals take responsibility
appropriate to their age, life stage, gifts and abilities. If you will look at your insert for this morning,
you will find two questions: Where do I over-function? And where do I let someone else run my life
for me? Maybe you don’t have examples of each but only experience one side of this coin. As you
think of an example, do you also feel guilty? It is one of the negative trappings of breaking
boundaries.
You can see easily the problems created by over/under-functioning in our world today. To
Moses Jethro sums the issue up nicely, “The task is too heavy for you; you cannot do it alone.” Jethro then
offers a very straightforward and logical way to divide the people into units and groups so the work
is shared. Moses is to carefully choose leaders who are persons of faith, integrity and incorruptible.
Moses will still be busy, but now he will be doing the work he was meant to do. He will teach the
people God’s word, God’s laws and decrees. He will also instruct them on how to live; how to walk
the walk of a chosen people.
Moses thought Jethro’s ideas were good and he implemented them immediately. I love the
verse, “One person cannot do it all.” It is lovely to hear. It also has a corollary: One person cannot
do it all but each person is to do their part. That means one side has to step back while the other
side has to step up. It is no longer business as usual. It is not telling someone else what to do; it is
telling them what you are going to do or not do. It is breaking the pattern of the way it is always
done and allowing healthier patterns and relationships to form. When Moses paid attention and
accepted God’s boundaries for him, he welcomed back a life of love, freedom, responsibility and
service.
God has given each of us boundaries as real as the distinct body we live in. Just as our
bodies do not cut us off from others neither does having boundaries. Think of it as a fence with
gates in it. We can say ‘yes’ and we can say ‘no’. We can decide who we will let in and who we will
keep out. It means letting go of a desperate need to be in control and acknowledging that there is
no need to do it all.
Just as Moses had work to do, God wants each of us to flourish by using the gifts and skills
he has blessed us with. God has work for you that only you can do. When you enter into your own
work you too will celebrate a life of love, freedom, responsibility and service.
I Quit!
Twining F. Campbell III
My Life Can Be Different
Matthew 21:1-14
Westminster
April 17, 2011 – Palm Sunday
Today is a wonderful day. Everyone is happy. Every one is excited. One of the main
reasons so many people like Palm Sunday is that we can visualize it. We can close our eyes
and see Jesus entering Jerusalem on the back of a donkey. We can see a huge crowd of
people laying their cloaks on the road and pulling down palm branches to wave and lay on
the road. We can imagine ourselves as part of that crowd yelling: “Hosanna to the son of
David! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord! Hosanna in the highest!” We can
see it and we would have been part of that huge crowd who knew who Jesus was.
The reality was probably a little different. We read, “When Jesus entered Jerusalem the
whole city was stirred and asked, ‘Who is this?’” (Matt. 21:10 [TNIV]) The crowds with
Jesus explained, “This is Jesus, the prophet from Nazareth.” (Ibid. v. 11) The residents
figured Jesus was special because the greeting these folks were shouting, and laying palm
branches on the road was done for a king. But in reality, “the crowd probably wasn’t that
big. [If it had been the Roman] garrison would have been called out” (Hare, D. Matthew:
Interpretation Commentary (Louisville: John Knox Press, 1993) p 237) because here was
someone being welcomed as king.
But there was excitement. People were yelling, “Hosanna” which literally means: “save
us” to Jesus whose name (Yeshua) means: “God saves.” When Jesus came into Jerusalem
God was doing something. It wasn’t what anyone expected (since this was the beginning of
Jesus’ last week on earth) but God was doing something amazing and it involved more than
a parade – it involved redemption.
To be honest, most people didn’t understand what God was doing. They kept doing
what had always been done. They kept the commandments, the laws and the rules. They
observed the practices, rituals and worship. They did what all the generations before them
had done – and they are good and necessary. But they had let those practices obscure
authentic communion with God.
This is why Matthew is the only gospel writer who tells of Jesus healing in the temple.
The Jewish authorities, in those days, usually restricted the lame, blind, deaf, or mute from
temple access to symbolize the purity of those approaching God.
Jesus was showing us that our relationship with God could be different; that our lives
can be different – even if the only ones who “got it” were from Galilee.
Some things don’t change that much. When I think of when I was a kid and my parents
were going to church. We would all get dressed up and go to church on Sunday morning.
When we arrived the kids went to Sunday School and parents went to the sanctuary.
They’d sit in there and when the service was over, we’d all go home. We had all “been fed.”
There was also choir and youth groups and other things for all age groups. One of the
primary goals was for people to get comfortable with the church. Then, over time, there
would be opportunities to serve the Body of Christ. I’m sure some of you saw this and
probably did this. There is nothing wrong with this. It is good and it is needed!
But today a lot of folks are wired differently. They want to be part of something bigger,
right now. They want to experience life for themselves. They want to see the world change
and be a part of it. They want a relationship with God that will change their lives and the
world.
A friend of mine on Facebook subscribes to Message from God: every day you get an
inspirational message sent to you. Earlier this week the message was: “On this day God
wants you to know that God doesn’t want your obedience, God wants your love. Servants
give obedience. Children give love. You are a child of God.” (4-14-11)
On this Palm Sunday Jesus is saying to them and to all of us, “Quit! Your life can be
different! It doesn’t have to be the way it has always been. You can have more. ‘You can
see the Holy Spirit manifest himself in your life and use the spiritual gifts he has given
you.’” (Matt Carter in an advertisement video for Christian Education.)
On this side of Easter, as we celebrate Palm Sunday, we recognize that Jesus is
encouraging us to see from a new perspective and giving us the courage to change.
Because “when it comes to the will of God, we tend to focus on what and where. But what
you are doing and where you are going are secondary issues. God’s primary concern is who
you are becoming. It has nothing to do with circumstances. It has everything to do with
the character of Christ being formed within you until you look and act and feel and talk and
dream and love just like Jesus. The goal is not a revelation of who you are. The end goal is
a revelation of who God is. The only way to discover who you are is to discover who God is
because you are made in God’s image.” (Batterson, M. Soulprint (Colorado Springs:
Multnomah Books, 2011) p 10) You can say, “I Quit! My life can be different.” Then we can
all join in shourting, “Hosanna! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord! Hosanna
in the highest!” Because as we strive to become more like Jesus, he will make our lives
different.
Let us pray,