Partner Support @ Everyman Project
020 7263 8894
partnersupport@everymanproject.co.uk
Partner Support – Client Charter
Men who attend assessments for the Men’s
Counselling Programme for men who want to change
their violent and/or abusive behaviour will hereafter be
referred to as ‘Everyman Project Clients’.
Partners or ex-partners of Everyman Project Clients
will hereafter be referred to as ‘Partner Support
Clients’
Project Aims
The Partner Support Project works in partnership with the Men’s Counselling
Programme at Everyman Project, to provide ongoing proactive support to
(ex)partners of Everyman Project clients.
Pro-active contact
One of the criteria of men joining the Everyman Project Men’s Counselling
Programme is that they give their partner and/ or ex-partner’s contact details at the
assessment. Partner Support Project is given the partner/ex-partner’s details and a
worker will proactively contact him or her to offer support.
Clients
Services will be offered to:
 The partner (male or female) of any man who has attended an assessment at
Everyman Project for the counselling programme for men who want to change
their violent of abusive behaviour.
 Any subsequent partner (male or female)
 Any ex-partners (male or female) with whom the man has contact and who may
be at risk.
Partner Support provides:
1)
2)
3)
4)
Emotional and practical support
Safety planning
Domestic violence awareness
Realistic expectations as to outcomes from and risks associated with
participation in the Men’s Counselling Programme
5) Signposting to other services
6) Confidentiality
Partner Support provides ongoing support by:
7) Post
8) Telephone Support
9) Face-to-Face Counselling
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1. Emotional and practical support
1.1 Partner Support service uses the Barriers Model (Grigsby and Hartman, 1997)1,
which combines psychotherapy and domestic violence case management
strategies. The model identifies the four barriers facing clients affected by
domestic abuse as:
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Environmental
Consequences and effects of the abuse
Socialisation, family and role expectations
Childhood trauma or neglect
1.2 Environmental barriers are the factors that prevent clients from accessing
information about the support services and systems in place that might help
him/her to be safe. These include money, the police, social service, the criminal
justice system, religious and cultural guidance, mental health systems,
homelessness, insecure immigration status and language barriers. Clients may
have either no access or incorrect information about the support available, may
have negative experiences from one or many of these agencies or may be fearful
that they cannot or will not help. The perpetrator may be physically or
psychologically preventing the client from getting support or information and giving
misinformation, such as, ‘If you contact the police you’ll be deported’, ‘The social
services will take your children away’ or ‘No-one will believe you’. Partner Support
focuses primarily on environmental barriers in order to increase clients’ safety and
sense of isolation enough that they can safely engage in the support available.
1.3 Psychological consequences of the violence or abuse such as physical or mental
ill health, isolation, brainwashing, low self-esteem, compliance and post-traumatic
stress disorder. There may be overlaps between this layer and the environmental
barriers. By supporting clients to recognising the impact of the abuse Partner
Support also aims to reduce minimisation, denial and self-blame. Partner support
encourages clients to monitor the degree to which their partner has changed and
helping clients to consider all their options in order to empower them to make their
own decisions.
1.4 Family, socialization and role expectations include clients’ expectations of
relationships, understanding of abuse, religious beliefs, values of the family of
origin and the messages the client has developed about herself and her identity
since childhood. Grigsby and Hartman (1997) explain that exploring these
barriers the therapist is required to develop the therapeutic alliance and raise the
client’s consciousness about these messages and the effects they are having on
his/her current situation. They also suggest that the therapist should be
encouraging the client to build up his/her support network and reduce the level of
isolation.
1.5 Childhood trauma or neglect includes early messages about abuse and safety
and psychological consequences. Grigsby and Hartman (1997) reframe the
questions often asked about women in abusive relationships such as: ‘Why does
she stay?’; ‘Why does she keep picking abusive men? Rather than asking these
questions, which serve to pathologise and blame victims of abuse, they ask,
Is the interaction between old and current abuse so overwhelming that she is
dissociating? Was the abuse so severe or perpetuated so many times by so many
1
GRIGSBY N & HARTMAN B R, 1997. The Barriers Model: An integrated strategy for intervention with battered women.
Psychotherapy: Theory, Research, Pactice, Training. American Psychological Association. P.s 485-497. Vol. 34 (4).
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abusers that she knows nothing but abuse?; Is she so eroded by her old abuse
experiences that she will risk her life for the small episodes of love and tenderness
she receives from this mate?; and Was her childhood abuse so severe that it resulted
in long-term mental health problems (e.g. depression, anxiety, or personality
disorders) that have now created a second presenting problem and a serious barrier
to her ability to escape?
The Partner Support Project recognises that the current abusive relationship is
real, significant and having an effect on clients’ well-being and safety whilst
acknowledging there may also be the need to explore clients’ reactions to abuse
in terms of their own personal and individual histories and recognizing that early
childhood experiences may be magnifying the effects of the current abuse and
the current abuse may be triggering and injuring old wounds. The consequence
may be that this prevents clients from staying safe from abuse.
1.6 Each client experiences the barriers to different degrees due to the unique nature
of each client’s situation. The type of support and frequency of contact between
the client and Partner Support Service also affects the level of therapeutic alliance
that is possible in the work. Clients who are support by regular telephone or faceto-face counselling are more likely to be supported to explore all the barriers
affecting them. Where support is time-limited or less frequent the main focus will
be on the environmental barriers, the consequences of the abuse and safety
planning from clients and any affected children.
2. Safety Planning
2.1 Female staff will provide the services offered by Partner Support. No staff
member who works with Everyman Project Clients on the Men’s Counselling
Programme will provide services for partners who have been subject to abuse.
2.2 Partner Support is a client-centred service, designed to fit around the specific
needs of each individual client and any affected children. Partner Support staff
will not be asked to undertake work that undermines trust, leads to a conflict of
roles, or compromises client safety.
2.3 Partner Support makes every effort to ensure that services provided are safe and
accessible to all clients by providing services:
 in a safe environment in accordance with the client’s needs
 at a time and venue where clients will not come into contact with their
(ex)partners
2.4 Where there is more than one (ex)partner, Partner Support makes every effort to
ensure that services are provided at a time and venue where a client will not
come into contact with other clients associated with the same man (perpetrator).
2.5 Services to women will be available for at least 4 months after their (ex)partner
has left the perpetrator programme. If at the end of this time the woman still has
unmet needs, further work or appropriate referral to other services will be done.
2.6 Whether a client wants to stay in the relationship, consider ways of making the
home safe or get away to a safe place Partner Support will encourage him or her
to think about their emotional and physical safety.
2.7 All clients are encouraged to develop a personal safety plan as a way of
protecting themselves and any children.
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2.8 As part of safety planning clients are informed about their legal and statutory
rights as well as encouraged to consider what options are available to them in
case of a violent incident, if s/he chooses to leave a partner, to make the home
safe.
3. Domestic Violence Awareness
3.1 Everyman Project and Partner Support Project aims to raise awareness regarding
the nature and prevalence of domestic violence. Both services believe and
advocate that:
 Domestic violence includes the physical, sexual, psychological, emotional,
verbal and/or financial abuse that takes place within an intimate or familial
relationship in the form of controlling patterns of behaviour.
 Domestic violence occurs across a range of relationships including
heterosexual, gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender relationships, and also
within extended families.
 Domestic violence occurs across all sectors of society regardless of age, race,
social class, disability or lifestyle.
 The majority of the victims of domestic violence are women and children, and
women are significantly more likely than men to experience repeated and
severe forms of violence, and sexual abuse.
 There are belief systems within society that both perpetuate abusive
behaviour and also make it difficult for those experiencing abuse to get
support.
 There is no justification for domestic violence and the responsibility for the
abuse is with the perpetrator.
 The effects on those experiencing domestic violence, including children and
other family members are often devastating and having regard to the two
women a week who are killed through domestic violence, the effect are fatal.
The damage to those affected by abuse includes low self-esteem, physical
and mental ill health, physical injury, isolation from friends, family and support
networks, loss of income, homelessness and death.
3.2 Clients are supported to identify abusive behaviours and to recognise when they
are experiencing physical and/or emotional abuse.
4. Realistic expectations
Counselling Programme
and
risks
associated
with
the
Men’s
4.1 Partner Support clients are provided with information which promotes realistic
expectations regarding men’s likelihood of changing as a result of their
attendance on the programme. Their partner’s attendance on the Men’s
Counselling Programme may give false hope that he will change or that
professionals can make him change. Often this is an unrealistic expectation,
which might prevent clients from exploring other important options to increase
their safety.
4.2 Partner Support clients are informed about ways that a man may use the Men’s
Counselling Programme materials to further abuse his (ex)partner, for example:
 To convince his (ex)partner to stay in the relationship and give false hope that
he wants to change.
 By using ‘time-outs’ as a form of threat or punishment.
 By saying that his counsellor said he does not have a problem.
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By saying that his counsellor or groups say it is his (ex)partner’s behaviour
that is responsible or the abusive one.
To insist that his (ex)partner needs therapy or counselling either during or after
his attendance on the programme.
4.3 By reducing physical abuse yet increasing other forms of controlling behaviour
such as verbal, emotional and financial abuse.
5. Signposting
5.1 Where appropriate referring clients for specialist support such as legal advice and
housing issues, drug or alcohol services and mental health services.
6. Confidentiality
6.1 Partner Support gives clients complete confidentiality in relation to the man who
has abused them and services will ensure that men are never told whether their
(ex) partner has had contact with the Partner Support service and that no
information on the nature or content of any contact is divulged.
6.2 Partner Support explains to clients:
 About their (ex) partner’s limited confidentiality and what information they may
or may not have access to
 About their own confidentiality
6.3 Partner support explains to clients that information may need to be shared with
other organizations only when:
 A client’s disclosure relates to the planning or conduct of an act of terrorism
 A child is currently or about to be subjected to physical or sexual abuse
 If the counsellor believes that the client may cause significant physical harm to
self or others
6.4In such cases when information needs to be shared with third parties, clients are
informed that Partner Support will always attempt to obtain permission from and
discuss with the client the purpose of sharing such information.
6.5 Regarding information sharing, Partner Support Staff have a duty to use their own
discretion and to consult with their supervisor or line-manager, in order to avoid
further risk to the client, as there will be cases when sharing information may
increase safety and other cases when sharing information may increase risk.
6.6 The Partner Support Project will pro-actively contact women as a matter of
urgency if they have specific concerns for their or their children’s safety.
7. Postal Support
7.1 Unless Partner Support clients directly and specifically request otherwise, a
Partner Support worker will contact them by post within two weeks of his or her
(ex) partner’s first contact with Everyman Project Men’s Counselling Programme.
In the initial contact letter, Partner Support clients will be informed about the
Partner Support service and their partner/ex-partner’s status on the Men’s
Counselling Programme. Partner Support clients are advised that a Partner
Support worker will contact them by telephone within two weeks and give them
the option to opt out from support or to advise the Partner Support service if it is
not safe to contact him/her.
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7.2 Partner Support clients are informed, by post within two weeks:
 If his or her (ex) partner attends an assessment
 If his or her (ex) partner is assessed as unsuitable for the programme
 If his or her (ex) partner chooses not to start the programme
 If his or her (ex) partner completes the programme
 If his or her (ex) partner drops out of the programme
 If his or her (ex) partner is suspended from the programme
8. Telephone Support
8.1 Partner Support clients will be proactively contacted by telephone within two
weeks of each letter they receive. Attempts to telephone client will continue until
contact is made, providing this is safe.
8.2 During telephone contact Partner Support clients are:
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Informed about how they can access information about the programme and
their (ex)partners’ attendance
Given details of the Everyman Project’s Partner Support Service and how to
access these services
Asked whether they received and understand the postal information
Offered support by phone, post and/or in face to face counselling
Assessed regarding their practical and emotional needs
Assessed regarding any special needs (language, disability)
Informed about hat the service’s confidentiality policy
Given clear messages about violence and abuse and the rights of the Partner
Support Client and any affected children
Given details of other specialist services, including crisis services, such as the
Police
9. Counselling
9.1 Clients are offered face-to-face counselling for a minimum of 12 weeks:
 For emotional and practical support
 To explore the effects of the violence and abuse on themselves and any
children
 To consider safety planning for themselves and any children
 To decrease isolation and increase support networks
 To help clients to consider their options in order to empower them to make
their own decisions
9.2 Partner Support offers a flexible service led by each client’s needs and is able to
offer additional support to women who need it most in particular where there is
high risk.
9.3 Partner Support counsellors maintain and adhere to the quality framework of the
British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP)
9.4 Partner Support counsellors are provided with fortnightly clinical supervision as
part of their personal and professional development and to ensure a high
standard and safe service is provided to clients.
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