RAMAT SHALOM
B’NAI MITZVAH
MANUAL
2010 – 2011
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Dear B’nai Mitzvah Families,
Welcome to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah Process. The next few years promise to be very exciting for you and
your family. We say that our Torah is an Eytz Chayim, a Tree of Life. As your child embarks on the
path towards becoming a Bar/Bat Mitzvah, it is as if a new bud forms on this holy tree-a bud that will
flower on the day your child celebrates his/her becoming a Bar/Bat Mitzvah. This flower, of course,
serves as proof that the Tree of Life is growing. As you begin this journey with your child, you help
to strengthen the Tree of Life. And it is our hope that you all will continue to do so long after your
child becomes a Bar/Bat Mitzvah.
All of us at Ramat Shalom are excited to celebrate this important rite of passage with you. May this
experience deepen your connection to Judaism and your roots here at Ramat Shalom.
This manual contains a great deal of information related to becoming a Bar/Bat Mitzvah at Ramat
Shalom. Please read it carefully and hold on to it. You will refer to it a great deal as you get closer to
your Bar/Bat Mitzvah service.
We look forward to working with your family.
Sincerely,
Rabbi Andrew M. Jacobs
Cantor Natalie M. Young
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IMPORTANT MESSAGE
Dear Parents,
Please read this manual thoroughly. After you do so, please sign the bottom of this form and
return it to the office by November 1st, 2010.
If you have any questions about anything you read in the manual, please let us know.
All questions concerning the Bar/Bat Mitzvah process, except questions related to financial
and/or administrative issues, should be directed to Rabbi Andrew, who can be reached at
954.472.3600 or rabbiandrew@ramatshalom.org.
All financial questions should be directed to our Bookkeeper, Nancy Wyman who can be
reached at 954.472.3600 or nancy@ramatshalom.org.
All administrative questions should be directed to our Synagogue Administrator, Beth Michell
who can be reached at 954. 472.3600 or admin@ramatshalom.org.
Thank you.
I have read the B’nai Mitzvah Manual and understand my family’s responsibilities as
described within.
Name of Bar/Bat Mitzvah:
Date of service:
Time of service:
Your name (parent):
Your signature:
Your e-mail:
(important: we communicate by e-mail – if you do not use e-mail, please let us know)
Today’s Date:
Please mail this back to Ramat Shalom, 11301 West Broward Blvd., Plantation, FL 33325
Attention: Barbara Laing. You may also fax the form to 954472.3622 or e-mail it to
barbara@ramatshalom.org.
This form must be returned by November 1st, 2010.
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Educational Requirements of the B’nai Mitzvah Process
1. In order to become a Bar/Bat Mitzvah at Ramat Shalom, a child must be actively enrolled in
the Ramat Shalom Torah School, T3 (grades 8-12), or Donut Schmooze (grades 9-12), a
recognized Jewish Day School, or an equivalent academic program that has been
approved by the Rabbi and Education Director.
2. In order to become a Bar/Bat Mitzvah at Ramat Shalom, a child must begin their Jewish
education in our Torah School, or an approved equivalent, no later than the 3rd grade. They
must continue studying in our Torah School, or an approved equivalent, through the 7th grade
prior to becoming a Bar/Bat Mitzvah. B’nai Mitzvah are required to complete the 7th
grade program at Ramat Shalom, or an approved equivalent, even if they are to become
B’nai Mitzvah prior to completion of the 7th grade. B’nai Mitzvah are encouraged to attend
Ramat Shalom’s T3 and Youth Group programs. Students who have completed the 7th grade
program or an approved equivalent and are preparing to become a Bar/Bat Mitzvah, must be
enrolled in T3 or an approved equivalent.
3. B’nai Mitzvah students are expected to have a knowledge of Hebrew and an understanding of
Jewish history, customs, ceremonies, and values as set forth in the curriculum of the Ramat
Shalom Torah School or an approved equivalent.
4. B’nai Mitzvah students are expected, to the best of their ability, to read in Hebrew the major
prayers of the Shabbat service and to comprehend the key concepts in these prayers.
5. B’nai Mitzvah students are expected to have the ability to participate in the Torah service.
6. B’nai Mitzvah students are expected to have an understanding of the assigned Torah and
Haftarah portions.
7. B’nai Mitzvah students are expected to have the ability to chant selected sections of assigned
Torah (from the Torah scroll) and Haftarah portions.
8. Each Bar/Bat Mitzvah student must successfully complete the B’nai Mitzvah Workshops.
9. Each Bar/Bat Mitzvah student must successfully complete all tutorial sessions.
10. Each Bar/Bat Mitzvah student must successfully complete the service attendance
requirements.
11. Each Bar/Bat Mitzvah student must demonstrate an understanding of and commitment to
Tikkun Olam (healing the world) by taking part in ongoing social action programs.
12. These requirements must be fulfilled in order for a child to become a Bar/Bat Mitzvah at
Ramat Shalom. Failure to complete these requirements will prevent a child from becoming
a Bar/Bat Mitzvah.
13. An Important Reminder: The B’nai Mitzvah process is designed to meet the
individual needs of each child. It is important that you share with us any issues that
might make this process particularly challenging for your child so that we can design a
program that meets his/her needs.
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Date Assignments
Bar/Bat Mitzvah service dates are assigned once a child completes the fourth grade at Ramat
Shalom. New members who have a child that has completed the fourth grade at the time they
join, will receive a date when they complete their membership application. Dates are
assigned by the Ritual Committee. Requests to change a date must be made in writing and
sent to the synagogue office. The Rabbi, Cantor, Education Director, and Synagogue
Administrator do not handle date assignments or changes. An effort will be made to
accommodate all date changes, but we cannot guarantee that each request will be met. Please
note that date changes cannot be made after your child has started his/her Bar/Bat
Mitzvah tutoring (approximately 9 months before his/her service). If you need to move
your assigned date, it is imperative that you contact the synagogue office immediately. Please
do not wait to do so.
The Shabbat of Your Child’s Bar/Bat Mitzvah
You have either been assigned a morning Shabbat service, which we call Shacharit, or a late
Shabbat afternoon service, which we call Minchah. The Minchah service concludes with
Ma’ariv (the evening service) and Havdalah (the ceremony that marks the end of Shabbat).
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Our Shacharit services begin promptly at 10:00 AM.
Our Minchah service begins promptly at 5:00 PM (November – 1st Shabbat in April);
6:00 PM (2nd Shabbat in April – Last Shabbat in October).
Services always start on time. They will not be delayed because a guest is late. Therefore,
if you feel that your guests might arrive late, please state on your invitations that the service
begins 15 minutes earlier than the times mentioned above.
Families should be seated in the front row of the sanctuary by the time the service
begins. Once the service begins, please do not greet your guests at the sanctuary door or get
up to hug a family member you have not seen for some time. During the service, focus your
attention on your child.
The Bar/Bat Mitzvah should be on the bimah and all material that the Bar/Bat Mitzvah will
need for the service, including his/her siddur (prayerbook), Haftarah, and speech should be
placed underneath the reading table before the service begins.
Kabbalat Shabbat Services
Bar/Bat Mitzvah Families are expected to be at Kabbalat Shabbat Services (Friday, 7:30PM)
the night before their child becomes a Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Families will be called upon to light
the Shabbat candles. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah will lead a short portion of the service. We
encourage you to invite your extended family and friends to attend.
Community Involvement in Services
Our services are open to the entire community. While we will celebrate your child
becoming a Bar/Bat Mitzvah during the service that has been assigned to you, please note that
there might be another family at the service celebrating an auf ruf or a birth, saying kaddish,
or marking some other significant event in their lives. No other child will become a Bar/Bat
Mitzvah during the service that has been assigned to you unless arrangements have been made
by you for this to happen.
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Board Usher
Each family will be assigned a Board Usher, a member of our Board of Directors, who will
make certain that the sanctuary is in order on the day of the service and will greet guests as
they enter the building. This is a volunteer position – please keep this in mind. Board
Ushers will contact families two weeks before the Bar/Bat Mitzvah service. The Usher will
arrive 30 minutes before the service – no earlier. If you are having a photographer, we can
open 90 minutes before the service as long as pre-arranged with the office.
Please note: 5th grade families will be asked to co-usher at a bar/bat mitzvah service.
Dress Code
Ramat Shalom is not in the business of telling you and your guests what to wear to a service.
However, we do expect that you, your children, and your guests will dress in a manner
appropriate for a synagogue service. This means nice, neat, clean clothing. Overly short
skirts and dresses, low-cut blouses and dresses, shorts, jeans, sneakers, baseball hats, athletic
attire, and t-shirts with statements on them are not acceptable. Women are expected to have
their shoulders covered during the service. As the service is not a cocktail party, formal attire
such as tuxedos and evening gowns are discouraged during the service. Sample letter for
children attending service without an adult is on page 39 of the Appendix.
B’nai Mitzvah Workshops
The B’nai Mitzvah Workshops are designed to make the B’nai Mitzvah process an enriching
educational process for all members of the family. Ramat Shalom is committed to making
certain that the Bar/Bat Mitzvah is not a series of meaningless, foreign rituals, but rather, a
powerful rite of passage for everyone involved. In an effort to make this happen, the
workshops will address issues related to becoming a Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Special attention will
be paid to the prayers, music, and rituals of the Shabbat services. In addition to this, the
workshops will give families the opportunity to study the stories of the Torah together. Prior
to their service, each family will be expected to read and understand the Torah portion that
will be read on the Shabbat of their Bar/Bat Mitzvah celebration and share both the content of
this portion and their own interpretation of this portion with the other families in the
workshop series.
Workshops are held throughout the year. Your family’s attendance is based upon the date of
your service. You will be notified of the B’nai Mitzvah Workshop schedule several months
before you are expected to attend a workshop.
The workshops meet approximately once a month on Shabbat. They begin at 8:30AM and
end by 10:00AM so that participants can attend the Shabbat service. It is expected that
families stay for services. Attending service is the best way to prepare for a Bar/Bat
Mitzvah. One workshop session will meet before a Mincha service and will start at either
3:30PM or 4:30PM ending by 5:00PM or 6:00PM. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah student and at
least one parent must attend all workshops. You will receive a detailed schedule several
months before your assigned workshop series begins. In addition to the Shabbat workshops,
parents will be expected to attend 3 Thursday night workshops from 7:00PM to 8:00PM. At
these sessions, the Rabbi and Cantor will assist you in service planning and writing your
D’var Torah. The workshops are led by either the Rabbi or the Cantor.
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Torah, Haftarah, T’filot (Prayers) Tutoring
Your child’s Hebrew progress is closely monitored by our Torah School staff. Beginning in
5th grade, the Torah School Director will contact you if your child needs additional Hebrew
tutoring.
Approximately nine months before a child’s Bar/Bat Mitzvah date, your child will begin the
tutoring process. The tutoring process will allow your child to learn how to chant his/her
Torah portion (from the Torah scroll) and Haftarah and learn how to lead the required t’filot
(see Appendix). Over the course of the tutoring period, your child will also work on carrying
the Torah and the “choreography” of the service. The first 4 sessions will be the Blessings
Class which is a prayer review taught by the Cantor. The next 22 sessions will be with your
assigned tutor who will work on Torah and Haftarah with your child. The remaining 3
sessions will be with the Cantor and may take place while your child is still working with
his/her tutor.
Each child will be provided with a copy of the Torah and Haftarah portions that s/he is
responsible for learning. Students are expected to purchase their own siddur which they are to
use during their tutorial sessions. Each child will be provided with a CD of their Torah and
Haftarah portions. All prayers and blessings can be found on the website and can easily be
downloaded onto an ipod!
After the Blessings Classes with the Cantor, each child will be assigned 3 aliyot, however,
some will do more and some will do less. Each Bar/Bat Mitzvah prepares for his/her tutoring
sessions at home. Parents need to make certain that their children study at least 15 to 20
minutes each night so that they are ready for their sessions.
Please keep in mind that your child’s tutorial schedule needs to fit into your summer plans.
Contact the Rabbi to discuss your summer schedule at least one year before your child’s
service.
It is crucial that you let the Rabbi know of any learning challenges that your child may have.
Understanding individual needs will enable us to work optimally with each student.
Tutorial sessions cannot take place while your child is in Torah School.
Tutorial sessions may be rescheduled if 24 hours notice is given. Additional sessions with
tutors (in excess of 22 appointments) can be scheduled only after financial arrangements have
been made with the Synagogue Administrator. At the first tutorial, each student’s Hebrew
skills will be assessed. Based upon each child’s assessment and his/her Torah School
attendance, additional tutoring might be required at the expense of the student’s family.
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Service Requirements
In addition to the class service, students are responsible for attending a number of Shabbat
Services throughout the year. Regular attendance at services is essential to the student’s
understanding, identification, and learning about the service and its liturgy. All students are
required to pull their card in the lobby of the sanctuary.
Grades K-3
3 services
4th Grade
4 services
It is required that 4th grade families attend the Spring Model B’nai Mitzvah.
B’nai Mitzvah dates will be handed out at the Spring Model B’nai Mitzvah.
5th Grade
4 Friday Evening Services
5 Shabbat Morning or Afternoon Services
It is required that 5th grade families attend the Spring Model B’nai Mitzvah.
5th grade families will co-usher at a Bar/Bat Mitzvah service.
Torah and Haftarah Assignments will be handed out at the Spring Model B’nai
Mitzvah.
6th Grade
4 Friday Evening Services
5 Shabbat Morning or Afternoon Services
6th graders will participate in the Spring Model B’nai Mitzvah.
Attendance at assigned B’nai Mitzvah Workshops (some students might not attend
until 7th grade)
7th Grade
Attendance at assigned B’nai Mitzvah Workshops and services that follow (not all 7th
graders will have to attend these workshops because they might have attended them
during the end of their 6th grade year.)
Inasmuch as becoming a Bar/Bat Mitzvah is essentially the integration of the “child” into the
adult Jewish community, families are expected to attend B’nai Mitzvah services prior to their
child being a Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Most students will be invited to many such services in the
course of the year, but it is just as important that parents of B’nai Mitzvah students attend
services at Ramat Shalom so that they can better understand the unique nature of our services
and, thereby, help to fashion their own distinctive service experience.
Bar/Bat Mitzvah D’var Torah
Each Bar/Bat Mitzvah will give a d’var Torah (word of Torah) at his/her service. This d’var
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Torah will use the Torah reading to capture a unique aspect of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. The
Rabbi will work with each student on his/her d’var Torah. Approximately four months before
their scheduled Bar/Bat Mitzvah service, the Rabbi will set up an appropriate schedule with
each student.
Parent’s D’var Torah
At least one parent will give a d’var Torah at the Bar/Bat Mitzvah service. This d’var Torah
will allow parents to use the Torah portion that is read on the Shabbat of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah
service to capture the way in which they feel about their child. The writing of this d’var
Torah will be discussed in the Bar/Bat Mitzvah Workshops. The Rabbi will be available to
discuss this d’var Torah and he will be happy to set up a series of meetings with each family
to work on this d’var Torah.
We ask that you give a great deal of thought to this section of the service. Your child/ren will
spend many hours preparing for the service. Please do the same. Family D’var Torah
Worksheet can be found on page 38 of the appendix.
Family Mitzvah Project
Each family is expected to be involved in an ongoing mitzvah project (a community service
project). Families are encouraged to be creative and find a project that is meaningful to them.
Examples of wonderful Mitzvah Projects can be found on our website.
Projects should be selected no later than 6 months prior to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. They
should not be “completed” by the time the service takes place; rather, they should continue
indefinitely. The Rabbi will monitor each family’s progress and is available to answer any
questions families might have about their projects. Once you have chosen a project, please
fill out the Family Mitzvah Project Worksheet and submit it to the Rabbi.
Guidelines for Family Mitzvah Project
 Student makes a presentation in Kehillah (assembly) regarding the project after
approval from the Torah School Director
 All flyers must be submitted for review one session before the flyer is to go out and
must be approved by the Torah School Director. Copies must be provided by the
family.
 A flyer may be posted in the synagogue bulletin board or Tekiah after approval by the
Torah School Director.
 Any collection box must be clearly labeled as to purpose and in good repair and may
be put out through Torah School hours only. The family must remove the box at the
end of each Torah School session.
Gifts and Donations
The giving of a gift to the synagogue in honor of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah is a tradition at Ramat
Shalom. Please contact our Synagogue Administrator, Beth Michell, for more information –
admin@ramatshalom.org.
Many family members, friends, and even the Bar/Bat Mitzvah, might choose to honor this
momentous occasion with a donation to Ramat Shalom’s many funds, the purchase of a
garden paver or a plaque on the Tree of Life.
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Tallis and Kippah
It is expected that families purchase a tallis (prayer shawl) and a kippah (yarmulke) for their
child to use during his/her Bar/Bat Mitzvah service. The significance of the tallis and kippah
will be discussed at a B’nai Mitzvah workshop. It is tradition at Ramat Shalom to have the
parents and/or the grandparents present the tallis to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah during the service. It
is our hope that the tallis and kippah will be used on a regular basis by the Bar/Bat Mitzvah
after the service. Kippot and tallitot will be available for guests.
The Siddur
Families will use our siddur, Kol HaNeshamah, for their service. The cost to purchase a
siddur through the synagogoue for your B’nai Mitzvah child is $36.00.
Some families make a supplement which they use in addition to the Kol HaNeshamah. A
supplement contains poems and readings that a family may want to include in the service. A
supplement can only be one folded 8 ½ x 11 sheet of paper and must be recycled after the
service.
Families who choose to make a supplement must work closely with the Rabbi and Cantor.
Families who choose to make a supplement must notify the Rabbi three months before
their service. Drafts of supplements must be submitted to the Rabbi no later than two
months before the service. Completed supplements must be submitted no later than one
month before the service.
Chumashim
So that your guests can follow along with the Torah and the Haftarah readings, the synagogue
will provide your guests with chumashim (books that contain the Torah and Haftarah that
your child will read) for use during the service.
The Rehearsal
The Rabbi or Cantor will schedule a rehearsal with each Bar/Bat Mitzvah family. The
rehearsal will usually be held the Thursday before the scheduled Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Each
Bar/Bat Mitzvah student and their parents are required to attend this rehearsal. The rehearsal
is a wonderful opportunity for families to walk through the service together. (Suggestion: As
photographs are not permitted during the service, you might want to consider
photographing the rehearsal. Please notify the Rabbi or the Cantor in advance if you will
have a photographer taking pictures during the rehearsal.) Rehearsals should last about an
hour.
Newspaper/Tekiah Coverage
Two months before their service, families (may, if you wish,) submit via email to the office a
photo of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah with a brief bio that can be put in the Tekiah. This is voluntary.
Unless you specify otherwise, this information will also be shared with local newspaper.
Future Commitments At Ramat Shalom
Becoming a Bar/Bat Mitzvah at Ramat Shalom signifies a desire to become a committed
member of our community. All of us here expect B’nai Mitzvah and their families to
demonstrate this commitment by participating in T3, Donut Schmooze, Confirmation, and
regular attendance at services and other synagogue programs.
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Participation of Family and Friends in the Bar/Bat Mitzvah Service
We encourage participation of family and friends in the Bar/Bat Mitzvah service. Here are
ways in which you may choose to involve important people in your lives:
o Torah reading
If the Bar/Bat Mitzvah is not reading the entire Torah portion, adult (postBar/Bat Mitzvah) family and friends may read Torah. If they do so, they must
be able to chant the Torah from the scroll. If you will have people reading from
the Torah, please fill out the “Torah Readers Form” in the Appendix. This
honor can only be given to Jewish family and friends. People given this honor
must wear a tallis and a kippah on the bimah.
Please note: if a guest does not have his/her own tallis, the synagogue has a
supply and your Board Usher can make them available to guests if you tell
them to do so. You will provide kippot for all guests.
o English Readings
The Appendix contains outlines of the Shacharit and Mincha service. In each
outline, there are several optional reading slots listed along with appropriate
themes for each of these readings. These are places where B’nai Mitzvah
families may choose readings that can be read by families and friends.
Readings are used to complement the liturgy. Readings that fit the listed
themes may be selected either from the siddur or from other sources (see the
Rabbi for collections of readings and poetry). If the readings are not from the
siddur, families may choose to photocopy the readings and hand them out at
the service. Please note that families may select no more than five readings.
At least one month before the service, copies of all readings must be
submitted to the Rabbi for approval and mailed to those people assigned to
read them. Please encourage those guests who will be participating to practice
before the service.
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o Aliyot
Adult family members and friends may be offered an aliyah, the opportunity to
come up to the bimah and say the blessings that are said before and after the
Torah is read. People can be called up in groups for this honor.
Participants must recite or chant these blessings in Hebrew. Instructions, as
well as the Hebrew texts with English transliterations are included in the
Appendix. Please photocopy this information and mail it to those people who
will be given this honor at least one month before the service so that they have
time to practice reciting them. A recording of the aliyah can be found on the
website. Please note that at Ramat Shalom, some people recite the
Reconstructionist aliyah – which is slightly different from the traditional
aliyah. Family and friends who are called upon for an aliyah should say the
blessings that they are most comfortable with. Both forms are found in the
Appendix. Both forms of the blessing will be on the reader’s table during the
service.
Please also inform those who will be given this honor that they are must wear a
tallis and kippah when they come onto the bimah. This honor can only be
given to Jewish family and friends.
Please ask for the Hebrew/Yiddish names of the people who are being honored
with these Torah blessings, together with the Hebrew/Yiddish name of their
parents and fill in this information on the “Bar/Bat Mitzvah Service
Worksheet” which is in the Appendix.
IMPORTANT
In order to give someone an aliyah, there must be someone to read Torah.
Also, your child is given the last aliyah. The last aliyah is reserved for the
parents.
o Opening and Closing the Ark
This honor can only be given to Jewish family and friends. There are two
places in the service when we need ark openers. Please look at the service
outlines and inform adults who will be given this honor that they should come
to the bimah either at the beginning of the Torah service and/or at the end of
the Torah service. They must wear a tallis and a kippah when they come onto
the bimah.
o Handing down the Torah
This honor is usually reserved for parents and grandparents. After removing
the Torah from the ark, the Rabbi will pass the Torah to the grandparents, who
pass it on to the parents who will pass it on to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. This
passing can also be done symbolically with each of the participants touching
the Torah instead of holding it. Please also inform those who will be given this
honor that they must wear a tallis and a kippah when they come onto the
bimah. This honor can only be given to Jewish adults.
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o Siddur Holder
This honor is usually reserved for a non-Jewish parent or grandparent. While
the Bar/Bat Mitzvah is holding the Torah, the siddur holder holds the siddur
for the child.
o Hagbah and G’lilah (Lifting and Dressing the Torah)
One adult family member or friend (post-Bar/Bat Mitzvah) who is Jewish can
be asked to lift the Torah. This requires a great deal of physical strength. If
the person who is given this honor has never lifted the Torah before, s/he is
required to attend the rehearsal. Adult family and friends who are Jewish can
be asked to dress the Torah – children may assist with dressing.
Please inform adults who will be given these honors that they must wear a
tallis and a kippah when they come onto the bimah.
Financial Obligations
While the Bar/Bat Mitzvah process is primarily a spiritual experience, there are administrative
tasks and financial obligations that families must fulfill.
1. Members must be current in their payment of all financial obligations up to and including
6 months prior to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah date. The Maintenance Fund must be paid in full at
least 60 days prior to the youngest child in the family becoming a Bar/Bat Mitzvah. You
must be current with your payment plan prior to and throughout the tutoring process.
2. Bar/Bat Mitzvah families are assessed a Bar/Bat Mitzvah fee of $918. Half of this fee is
due in the 6th grade and the balance of $459 is due in the 7th grade. Any outstanding
portion of this fee must be paid in full at least three months prior to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah
date.
3. Families with Bar/Bat Mitzvah dates in June, July or August are expected to renew their
membership on June 1st.
The Bar/Bat Mitzvah fee includes:
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13 hours (26 half-hour sessions) of individual tutoring. Tutor hours are
scheduled at a mutually convenient time between the student and the tutor. If
you need to reschedule an appointment, you must do so 24 hours in advance.
Any missed scheduled tutoring sessions will not be made up. If additional
sessions are necessary for any reason, they can be scheduled at a cost of $36
per half hour.
B’nai Mitzvah Workshop supplies.
Sponsorship of the Oneg Shabbat
Administrative and maintenance costs.
The Bar/Bat Mitzvah Packet and TANAKH
Relevant CDs.
APPENDIX
TO
B’NAI MITZVAH
MANUAL
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Words/Concepts You Need To Know
In Order To Become A Bar/Bat Mitzvah
Prepared especially for the B’nai Mitzvah of Ramat Shalom
version 1. 2010/5770
Bar Mitzvah/Bat Mitzvah
B’nai Mitzvah/B’not Mitzvah
Mitzvah/Mitzvot
Commandment
10 Commandments/613 Commandments
Halakha
Tradition
Custom
Ritual
Reconstructionism/Reconstructionist
Conservative
Reform
Orthodox
Renewal
Unaffiliated
Post-Denominational
Kahal/Community/Am Yisrael Chai
TaNaKH
Torah
Breishit/Genesis
Shemot/Exodus
Vayikra/Leviticus
Bamidbar/Numbers
Dvarim/Deuteronomy
Sefer Torah/Sifrei Torah
Hebrew
Aramaic
Hebrew Vowels/Trope Marks/Punctuation
Tikun
Parasha/Parshiyot/Parashat
Aliyah/Aliyot
3/7/8 3 verse/verses pasuk/p’sukim
Triennial Cycle/Full Kriyah
Torah Readings
Torah Blessings
chosen/choseness
Asher Bachar Banu Mi Kol Ha’amim
Who has singled us out from all the peoples
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Asher Kervanu La’Avodato
Who has drawn us to your service
Maftir
4:34-9:22
Moshe ben Avraham v’Sarah
Rivka bat Esther
TaNaKH (cont.)
Nevi’im
Prophet
Haftarah
Haftarah Blessings
Chumash/Chumashim/Supplement
Ketuvim
Megillah/Megillot
Chag/Chagim/Yom Tov
Shalosh Regalim/3 Pilgrimage Festivals
Selichot/Rosh HaShanah/Yom Kippur
Teshuvah, Yamim Nora’im, Shofar, Machzor, Akeidah, Neilah
Sukkot
Sekhakh, Sukkah, Megillat Kohelet (Ecclesiastes)
Hoshanah Rabbah, Arbah Minim, LulavHadas/Myrtle 3,
Arava/Willow 2
Etrog, Chol HaMoed, Israeli Calender/Diaspora-Galut Calendar
Shemini Atzeret
Simchat Torah
Hakafah/Hakafot
Chanukah
Menorah/Chanukiyah, Sufganiyot, Hasmoneans, Latkes, Dreidel
(Y)/Sevivon (H)
Tu B’Shevat
Seder, Kabbalists
Purim
Grogger, Megillat Esther, Hamantaschen, Mordechai, Haman,
Shpiel
Pesach
Matzah, Haggadah, Maror, Seder, Kasher L’Pesah, Bedikat
Chametz
Fast Of The Firstborn, Megillat Shir HaShirim/Song of Songs
(Kosher/Kasher/Parve/Fleishig/Milchig/Treif/U/K/P)
Yom HaShoah
Yom HaAtzma’ut
Yom HaZikaron
Yom Yerushalim
Lag B’Omer
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Sefirat Ha’Omer
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Pirke Avot (Mishnah, Talmud, Midrash)
Shavuot
Megillat Rut, Tikun Leil Shavuot
Tisha B’Av
Megillat Eicha/Lamentations
TaNaKH (cont.)
Rosh Chodesh
Moon, Lunar Calendar, New Moon, Full Moon
Erev/Candlelighting
Tishrei (RH, YK, SK, SH, ST), Cheshvan, Kislev (CH), Tevet (end of
CH), Shevat (TB), Adar (PR), Nisan (P, YS), Iyar (YZ, YA, LG,
YY), Sivan (SHV), Tammuz, Av (TB), Elul (Cheshbon HaNefesh)
Shabbat/Kabbalat Shabbat
Monday, Thursday, (Shabbat), Chag, Rosh Chodesh
Trope
Cantillation
Liturgy/Tefillah/Tefillot
Bracha/Brachot
Shacharit
Mincha
Ma’ariv
Havdalah
Kavannah/Kevah
Bracha
Nusah
Siddur/Siddurim
Tallit/Talus/Taleisim
Tzitzit
Kippah/Kippot/Yarmulke
Baruch Atah Adonai
God/HaShem/Elohim/Eloheinu/Shechinah/Yah/‫ה‬-‫ו‬-‫ה‬-‫י‬
Birchot HaShachar
Pesukey D’Zimrah
Chatzi Kaddish
Aramaic/Hebrew/Yiddish
Ashekenazic (yis)/Sefardic (yit)
Kol Yoshevei Tevel
Shalom
Barechu
Yotzer
Shema
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V’ahavta
Mezuzah/Mezuzot/Tefillin
Mi Chamocha
Amidah
Avoteinu/Imoteinu
Avraham/Sarah
Yitzhak/Rivka
Ya’akov (Yisrael)/Rachel v’Leah
Ashrei
Liturgy/Tefillah/Tefillot (cont.)
Torah Service
Moshe/Sinai/Aliyah
Aleynu
Kaddish
Kiddush
Ki Aleynu Karata Ve’Otanu Kidashta La’Avodatecha
Called to us and set us apart to serve you
Ki vanu vachar-ta vi-osanu kidash-ta mikol ha-amim
Chosen us from all the nations and made us holy
Motzi/Challah
Oneg
Bet Midrash/Bet Knesset/Bet Tefillah/Synagogue/Temple
Minyan
Bimah
Ark/Aron HaKodesh (Holy of Holies/Kedosh Kedoshim)
Sefer Torah/Sifrei Torah
Rimonim
Yad
Wimple
Aytz Chaim/Ayztei Chaim
Hagbah
G’lilah
Gabbai
Dvar Torah/Divrei Torah/Darshan
Ner Tamid
Shaliach Tzibbur
L’Shon Kodesh
Amein
Yasher Koach
Baruch S’hmo, Baruch Hu U’varuch Shemo
Mazal Tov
Shabbat Shalom/Gut Shabbos
Shavua Tov
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Chag Sameach/Gut Yontiff
Shanah Tovah
Have An Easy Fast
L’Chayim
Motzei Shabbat
Rabbi/Rebbe
Chazan/Cantor
Kavod
Tikun Olam
Tzedakah/Charity/Mitzvah
Bikur Cholim
T = ‫כל‬
Israel/Yisrael
Ramat Shalom
BCE/CE – 70CE
Priests/Rabbis
Temple/Synagogue
Sacrifice/Torah, Prayer
Jesus/Jesus Christ – Oy Vey What Is This Here For? Hang on – you’ll see
Z’man Kodesh
Brit Milah
Mohel
Simchat Bat/Naming
Pidyon HaBen
Covenant
Patrilineal/Matrilineal Descent
Ger, Bet Din, Mikveh, Hatifat Dam, Edim (witnesses)
Confirmation
Aufruf/Ketubah/Chuppah/Shevah Brachot
Get
Chevrah Kaddisha
Sh’mirah, Shomer, Kriyah, Kaddish Yatom
Yizkor, Tahara/Tachrihim/Shrouds, Makom, Yahrzeit (candle)
Shivah, Shloshim, Unveiling, z”l/zichrono l’vracha
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Valuable B’nai Mitzvah Tools
Prepared for Ramat Shalom’s Bar/Bat Mitzvah Families
Ramat Shalom
How to find your Torah portion
Go to our website: www.ramatshalom.org
Click on “Weekly Torah Readings” in Navigation Bar
In the middle of the page, you will see: “To determine what parasha we are reading this
week, please click HERE”. Click ‘HERE’
The 2010 “Hebcal.com” calendar will appear on your screen.
Find your Bar/Bat Mitzvah date (usually a Shabbat).

If you have a morning Bar/Bat Mitzvah, click on the phrase that
begins with “Parashat” and is followed by the name of your
parasha.

If you have an afternoon bar/bat mitzvah, go the following
Shabbat, click on the phrase that begin with “Parashat” and is
followed by the name of your parasha.
A screen like this will appear:
Torah Portion (KORACH I added this!): Numbers 16:1 - 18:32
(this is your entire Torah portion that should be read in English)
Full Kriyah
1: 16:1-13 (13 p'sukim)
2: 16:14-19 (6 p'sukim)
3: 16:20-17:8 (24 p'sukim)
4: 17:9-15 (7 p'sukim)
5: 17:16-24 (9 p'sukim)
6: 17:25-18:20
(24 p'sukim)
7: 18:21-32 (12 p'sukim)
maf: 18:30-32 (3 p'sukim)
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Triennial Year I
28 June 2008
1: 16:1-3
2: 16:4-7
3: 16:8-13
4: 16:14-19
5: 16:20-35
6: 17:1-8
7: 17:9-15
maf: 17:9-15
Triennial Year II
27 June 2009
1: 16:20-27
2: 16:28-35
3: 17:1-5
4: 17:6-8
5: 17:9-15
6: 17:16-20
7: 17:21-24
maf: 17:21-24
Triennial Year III
12 June 2010
1: 17:25-18:7
2: 18:8-10
3: 18:11-13
4: 18:14-20
5: 18:21-24
6: 18:25-29
7: 18:30-32
maf: 18:30-32
Haftarah: I Samuel 11:14 - 12:22
Some of you will find additional information.
On Shabbat Rosh Chodesh
maf: Numbers 28:9-15 (7 p'sukim)
▪ 12 Jun 2010
▪ 08 Jun 2013
▪ 24 Jun 2017
When Parashat Korach coincides with a special Shabbat, we read a different Haftarah:
▪ 12 Jun 2010 (Shabbat Rosh Chodesh / Isaiah 66:1 - 66:24)
▪ 08 Jun 2013 (Shabbat Rosh Chodesh / Isaiah 66:1 - 66:24)
▪ 24 Jun 2017 (Shabbat Rosh Chodesh / Isaiah 66:1 - 66:24)
How to master your prayers
1. Attend services. You cannot do this if you do not attend services. Seriously.
2. Practice!
Go to our website: www.ramatshalom.org
Click on “Blessings, Tefillot, Torah and Music” in Navigation Bar
You will see Friday Evening and Shabbat Morning/Afternoon prayers
When you click on a specific prayer, you will hear the Cantor chanting the prayer
Download each prayer you need to work on and place it on your iPod
Listen to the prayers as often as you can.
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Shacharit BM
Niggun
141 Mah Tovu (Cantor)
Rabbi’s Welcome
143 Tallit presentation & blessing
153 Birchot Hashachar (BM)
165 Elohai N’Shamah (Cantor)
177-179 P’sukei D’zimrah (BM)
231 Psalm 150 (Cantor)
245 Chatzi Kaddish (BM)
247 Bar’chu (BM)
247 Yotzer (BM)
268 Reading (all)
277 Sh’ma/V’ahavta (BM)
291 Mi Chamocha (Cantor)
295 Adonai S’fatai (Cantor)
Amidah
Avot (BM)
G’vurot (BM)
L’dor Vador (Cantor)
319 Priestly Blessing (Rabbi and Cantor)
321 Sim Shalom (Cantor)323 Oseh Shalom or Yihyu L’ratzon (Cantor)
Torah Service
383 Eyn Kamocha, etc. (BM)
385 Vay’hi (BM)
393 Sh’ma/Echad/Gadlu (BM)
Hakafot (Cantor)
1. Torah Reading (BM and honored guest/family) …………………………….
2. Lift & Dress Torah (honored guests/family………………………..
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Mi Shebeirach for Healing (Rabbi and Cantor)
D’var Torah/Speech (BM)
409 Haftarah Opening Blessings (BM)
Haftarah Reading (BM)
409-411Haftarah Closing Blessings (BM)
Siman Tov
Holocaust Torah
441 Etz Chayim
Parents’ Blessing:
Cantor’s Blessing:
443 Eyn Keloheinu (BM) (optional)
445 Aleinu (BM)
451 Mourner’s Kaddish (Rabbi and Cantor)
Board presentation of gifts
Kiddush/Motzi (BM and family)
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Havdalah BM
Opening Song:
Welcome
143 Tallit presentation and blessing (BM)
469-471 Ashrey (BM)
Torah Service:
475 Vay’hi, Ki Mitzion, Baruch Shenatan (BM)
477 Gad’lu (BM)
Mi Shebeirach for Healing (Rabbi and Cantor)
D’var Torah/Speech (BM)
409 Haftarah Opening Blessing (BM)
Haftarah Reading (BM)
409-411 Haftarah Closing Blessings (BM)
Rabbi’s blessing and Tanakh presentation
Holocaust Torah processional
485 Etz Chayim (Cantor)
489 Amidah-Avot (BM)
493 G’vurot (BM)
497 L’dor Vador
Silent through page 509
509 Shalom Rav (Cantor)
Parents blessing
Cantor’s blessing:
Ma’ariv:
57 Bar’chu (BM)
63 Ahavat Olam (all)
65 Sh’ma/V’ahavta (BM)
79 Mi Chamocha
Silent Meditation
Oseh Shalom (Nat)
29
121 Aleynu (BM)
131 Kaddish Yatom
Board presentation of gifts
525 Havdalah (all)
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REQUIRED PRAYERS FOR AM BAR/BAT MITZVAH
Kabbalat Shabbat
5
Candle Blessings
55
Hatzi Kaddish
57
Barechu
119
Kiddush for Erev Shabbat
Motzi
Shabbat Shacharit
143
Tallis Blessing
153
Birchot Ha Shachar
177
Pesukey DeZimrah
247
Yotzer
277
Shema/V’ahavta
295
Avot/Imahot
299
Gevurot
383
Eyn Kamocha
385
Vayhi
393
Shema/Echad/Gadelu
399
Blessing before Torah
399
Blessing after Torah
407
Vezot HaTorah
408
Blessing before Haftarah
409
Blessing after Haftarah
445
Aleynu
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REQUIRED PRAYERS FOR PM BAR/BAT MITZVAH
Kabbalat Shabbat
5
Candle Blessings
55
Hatzi Kaddish
57
Barechu
119
Kiddush for Erev Shabbat
Motzi
Shabbat Mincha. Ma’ariv, Havdalah
469
Ashrey
143
Tallis Blessing
475
Vayhi
477
Gadelu
479
Blessing before Torah
479
Blessing after Torah
408
Blessing before Haftarah
409
Blessing after Haftarah
489
Avot/Imahot
493
Gevurot
55
Hatzi Kaddish
57
Barechu
65
Shema/V’ahavta
121
Aleynu
520
Havdalah
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Bar/Bat Mitzvah Service Worksheet
This form must be returned to the Rabbi three months before your service
Name of Bar/Bat Mitzvah:
Name(s) of parent(s) of Bar/Bat Mitzvah:
Name(s) of sibling(s) of Bar/Bat Mitzvah:
Aliyot
Please list the English and Hebrew/Yiddish name for each person who will be given an
aliyah.
Note: a person’s Hebrew/Yiddish name includes their name and the name of their parents (e.g. Moshe ben
Yitzchak v’Rachel)
English Name
Hebrew/Yiddish Name
Torah Reader/Chapter, Verses
1.
__________ben/bat___________v’__________ _____________________
2.
__________ben/bat___________v’__________ _____________________
3.
__________ben/bat___________v’__________
4.
__________ben/bat___________v’__________ _____________________
5.
__________ben/bat___________v’__________ _____________________
6.
__________ben/bat___________v’__________ _____________________
7.
__________ben/bat___________v’__________ _____________________
_______________________________
Maftir
Hebrew Name of Bar/Bat Mitzvah:
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__________ben/bat___________ v’__________
Name of Bar/Bat Mitzvah: ___________________________
Additional Honors
Tallis - Please list names of people presenting the tallis and their relationship to the Bar/Bat
Mitzvah:
Torah Readers* - Please list English names of Torah readers, their telephone numbers, and
sections that they are reading (we cannot provide a CD; however, you can direct readers
to our website)
Ark openers* - Please list English names of ark openers:
First ark opening:
Second ark opening:
Handing Down Torah* - Please list names of people who will be handing down the Torah
and their relationship to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah:
Siddur Holder – Please list English name of Siddur Holder:
Hagbah* - Please list name of the person who will lift the Torah:
G’lilah* - Please list name of the person who will dress the Torah:
D’var Torah – Please list name of person giving the d’var Torah (speech) during the
service (usually a parent):
English Readings: Please list English names of readers and page number (if in siddur) of
reading. If the reading is not in the siddur, please attach it to this form.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
*This honor is reserved for people who are Jewish. It is expected that someone who accepts
this honor will wear a tallis and a kippah.
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TORAH READERS FORM
If you need the Cantor to do one reading, you must contact her 3 months prior to the
service. Please list additional Torah readers below.
This form must be turned in to the Cantor three months before your service date
Name of Bar/Bat Mitzvah: ______________________________
Torah Readers
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Phone Numbers
SUPPLEMENT FORM
This form must be turned into the Rabbi three months before your service date
Name of Bar/Bat Mitzvah:
____________________________
Date of Service:
____________________________
We will be making a Supplement
________
We will not be making a Supplement
________
Drafts of supplements are due at least two months before
your service date.
Final copies of supplements are due at least one month
before the service.
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Family Mitzvah Project Worksheet
(for guidance, please see our website)
This form must be returned to the Rabbi six months before your service
Name of Bar/Bat mitzvah: _______________________________________________
Date of service: _______________________________________________________
Family members involved in project:
Please describe your project in detail:
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FOR THOSE CALLED TO THE TORAH FOR
AN ALIYAH AT RAMAT SHALOM
You have been asked to take an aliyah to the Torah. The word aliyah comes from the
Hebrew word “to go up” and is used to designate the honor of “going up” to the Torah.
You must wear a tallis (prayer shawl) and a kippah (yarmulke) when you come up to the
bimah (stage). You may bring your own tallis and kippah or we can provide you with them
at the synagogue.
You will be called up to the bimah first by your English name and then by your
Hebrew/Yiddish name. Please provide this information to the parents of the Bar/Bat
Mitzvah. Come to the bimah as we begin to call your name. Stand in front of the Torah
scroll. Take the tzitzit, the fringe on the tallis, and touch the place in the Scroll indicated
by the Cantor. This is, in effect, a way of “signing in.” The Scroll will then be closed.
Begin reading or chanting the blessing. Please visit our website, ramatshalom.org to hear
the aliyah. You can also download a copy of the aliyah from the site.
Please note that at Ramat Shalom, many recite the Reconstructionist aliyah – which is
slightly different from the traditional aliyah. You should say the aliyah that you are most
comfortable with. If you forget to bring your copy of the aliyah up to the bimah with you,
there will be copies at the reader’s table.
After you finish the first blessing, the reader will read a portion of the Torah. When s/he
finishes, touch the fringe of the tallis to the spot indicated by the Cantor. The Scroll is then
closed and you will conclude with the blessing after the reading of the Torah. You will
then be asked to move to the side of the reader’s table as the next person honored is called
up to the bimah. When that person concludes the final blessing, you can take your seat.
If you forget these directions, be assured that those at the reader’s table will do everything
possible to make you feel comfortable.
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39
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Bar/Bat Mitzvah Schedule
Beginning of 6th Grade
 B’nai Mitzvah Orientation
End of 4th, 5th, and 6th Grades
 Model B’nai Mitzvah led by 6th Grade
Throughout 4th-6th Grades
 Adhere to service attendance requirements
One Year Before Service
 Begin to meet with Rabbi and/or Cantor for guidance
Six Months (or more) Before Service
 B’nai Mitzvah Workshops begin
 Blessings Class begins (students attend a minimum of 4 classes)

“Family Mitzvah Project Worksheet” due (page 37)
 Deadline to reserve space at Ramat Shalom for reception; room usage fee is due
Four Months Before Service
 Schedule D’var Torah appointments with Rabbi
Three Months Before Service
 Notify Cantor of any additional Torah readers by giving her the “Torah Readers Form”
(page 35)
 Notify Rabbi if you are making your own supplement by giving him the “Supplement
Form” (page 36)
 Bar/Bat Mitzvah fee must be paid in full (if youngest child is becoming bar/bat mitzvah)
and all other outstanding charges must be paid in full
Two Months Before Service
 Bar/Bat Mitzvah Service Worksheet (page 33)
 Additional Honors Form (page 34)
 Schedule your rehearsal with Cantor or Rabbi
 Draft of supplement must be submitted to Rabbi
 Signed Catering Agreement (Kashrut Policy) must be submitted to office
 Rules for Videography/Photography must be signed and submitted to office
 Certificates of Insurance naming Ramat Shalom as Additional Insured must be submitted to
the office by each vendor’s insurance company
 Submit photo and bio to the office by email
One Month Before Service
 Supplements must be completed and submitted to Rabbi
 Readings and aliyah information and readings must be mailed to appropriate guests
Two Weeks Before Service
 Complete “Event Planning Form” (See Guide) and submit to office
 Information on room setup must be submitted to office
 Contact with Board usher
Week of Service: Rehearsal
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Family D’var Torah Worksheet
Family Name:
1. The name of the Torah portion:
2. From the book of:
3. Summarize your Torah portion in 5 sentences:
4.
“The Torah…needs our voice, our presence, our interpretation. Then, and only
then, does it become complete.”
-Rabbi Jeffrey K. Salkin
What feels incomplete in your Torah portion? What needs more explanation? What
leaves you questioning?
Take your answer above and “complete” the story. Offer your explanation. Answer
your questions. Don’t be afraid to be creative.
5.
“Biblical stories have a way of being used by children to look inward as well as
upward…The stories of Adam and Eve, Abraham and Isaac, Noah and the Ark,
Cain and Abel, Samson and Delilah, David and Goliath, get linked in the minds
of millions of children to their own personal stories.”
-Professor Robert Coles, Harvard University
What part of your Torah portion makes you look inward and upward? What part of
the portion makes you think about your own life and/or about God? What part of
your portion speaks to you? If, after a lot of thought, you can’t answer these
questions, what is it about your Torah portion that keeps you from connecting with
it? What doesn’t it say that you want it to say?
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SAMPLE LETTER TO PARENTS OF CHILDREN
ATTENDING SERVICE WITHOUT AN ADULT
We are thrilled that your child will be joining us for ________________’s
Bar/Bat Mitzvah service. Please review the following and share with your
child.
Dress Code:
The girls may be dressed in party attire, but as bare shoulders are not
permitted in the sanctuary, please have a cover-up (jacket or shawl) for the
service.
The boys may wear either a suit, or sports jacket and slacks with either a shirt
and tie or a dressy tee. No blue jeans please.
And…..
Services at Ramat Shalom will start promptly at 10am/5pm/6pm – please
have your child there 15 minutes before the service so that he/she can be
seated before the service begins. Please explain to your child to use the
restrooms before the service as the sanctuary doors close once the service
begins
Cell phones MUST be TURNED OFF upon arrival. This also means NO
TEXTING during the service! You may turn your phone back on after the
service is over.
There is no gum chewing, food or drinks allowed in the synagogue.
We expect everyone to act respectfully. There is no talking during the service.
We thank you in advance for sharing these rules with your child and we look
forward to having him/her at our synagogue for this joyful occasion.
If you have any questions, please call….
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