THE SPIRIT-CONTROLLED LIFE
Week 2: Authentic Love
Goal of Study: To learn how to “keep in step with the Spirit” by sowing to the Spirit so our lives will
authentically bear the fruit of the Spirit.
(NIV, ESV, NASB, NET) But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
gentleness and self‑control. Against such things there is no law.
(NLT) But when the Holy Spirit controls our lives, he will produce this kind of fruit in us: love, joy, peace,
patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Here there is no conflict with the law.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Why Love is First
As we studied last week, the fruit of the Spirit is a singular fruit with nine manifestations. So why is love listed
first? In addition to being the greatest and second greatest commands, it is also the key to further fruitfulness:
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Philippians 1:9-11 (ESV) And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with
knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and
blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to
the glory and praise of God.
What Love is – and is not
4 Greek Words for Love
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Eros = longing and desire; a passionate and often selfish love. Not used in NT, but used in two places in
the Septuagint (Greek translation of the OT):
o Proverbs 7:18 (LXX) (wife speaking to lover, husband is away) Come, and let us enjoy love until
the morning; come, and let us embrace in love.
o Proverbs 30:16 (LXX) (context of things that are never satisfied) The grave, and the love of a
woman, and the earth not filled with water...
Philos = friendship love; based on common interests, high esteem, and shared experiences. Philos
places the other person in a high personal position and can be for good or evil. One form, philadelphia,
is used to show the love Christians should have for each other:
o Romans 12:10 (NASB) Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one
another in honor;
o 1 Thessalonians 4:9 (NASB) Now as to the love of the brethren, you have no need for anyone to
write to you, for you yourselves are taught by God to love one another;
o Hebrews 13:1 (NASB) Let love of the brethren continue.
o 1 Peter 1:22 (NASB) Since you have in obedience to the truth purified your souls for a sincere
love of the brethren, fervently love one another from the heart,
o 2 Peter 1:7 (NASB) and in your godliness, brotherly kindness, and in your brotherly kindness,
love.
Stergos = natural love, such as the love of a parent to a child.
The Spirit-Controlled Life: Week 2, Authentic Love, p. 1
o Used in NT only in the negative, showing its absence:
 Romans 1:31 (NASB) (context of those who have a depraved mind): they are without
understanding, untrustworthy, unloving, unmerciful
 2 Timothy 3:1-4 (NASB) (1) But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come.
(2) For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers,
disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, (3) unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips,
without self-control, brutal, haters of good, (4) treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of
pleasure rather than lovers of God,
o Used one time in conjunction with philos to describe the relationship believers should have
with each other:
 (Rom 12:10 NASB) Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one
another in honor;
 Speaks of the “natural friendship” that should exist between believers
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Agape = the highest form of love; originates with God and is God’s love expressed to us and through
us, to others. Agape always focuses on what is BEST for the one loved; not necessarily what they want,
but what they need. It is an intentional love, focused on actions and choices more than feelings and
emotions.
o This is the kind of love we’re commanded to have for God and others as the greatest
commandments: Matthew 22:36-40 (NASB) (36) "Teacher, which is the great commandment in
the Law?" (37) And He said to him, " 'YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR
HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND.' (38) "This is the great and
foremost commandment. (39) "The second is like it, 'YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS
YOURSELF.' (40) "On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets."
o “The fruit of the Spirit is … agape”
o This is the only kind of love God expresses in us through the Holy Spirit. It’s a supernatural love
not only for those we think highly of or have shared interests with, but for the unlovely.
o It’s a sacrificial, other-centered love motivated by the desire to do what is right and best for the
loved.
o It is not fueled by the recipient’s desire, but by their need.
 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8a (NASB) Love is patient, love is kind and is not
jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act
unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take
into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but
rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all
things, endures all things. Love never fails.
The Spirit-Controlled Life: Week 2, Authentic Love, p. 2
AGAPE LOVE …
is patient
is kind
rejoices with the truth
bears all things
believes all things
hopes all things
endures all things
never fails
is not jealous (envious)
does not brag
is not arrogant
does not act unbecomingly
does not seek its own
is not provoked
does not take into account a wrong suffered
does not rejoice in unrighteousness but does rejoice
with the truth
Perfect Agape
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God’s love is redemptive.
o John 3:16 (NASB) For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever
believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.
o Romans 5:8 (NASB) But God proves His own love for us in that while we were still sinners Christ
died for us.
o Ephesians 2:4-5 (NASB) But God, who is abundant in mercy, because of His great love that He
had for us, made us alive with the Messiah even though we were dead in trespasses. By grace
you are saved!
o Titus 3:4-5 (NASB) But when the goodness and love for man appeared from God our Savior, He
saved us— not by works of righteousness that we had done, but according to His mercy,
through the washing of regeneration and renewal by the Holy Spirit.
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God’s love for those in covenant with Him is centered on His love for Jesus.
o God loves us because we love and believe in Jesus. (John 16:26-27, NASB) In that day you will
ask in My name, and I do not say to you that I will request of the Father on your behalf; for the
Father Himself loves you, because you have loved Me and have believed that I came forth from
the Father
o God loves us with the same love He has for Jesus. Jesus reveals God to us so His love can be in
us, and God wants the world to know of His love for us.
 (John 17:23-26, HCSB) I am in them and You are in Me. May they be made
completely one, so the world may know You have sent Me and have loved them as
You have loved Me. Father, I desire those You have given Me to be with Me where I am.
Then they will see My glory, which You have given Me because You loved Me before the
world’s foundation. Righteous Father! The world has not known You. However, I have
known You, and these have known that You sent Me. I made Your name known to them
and will make it known, so the love You have loved Me with may be in them and
I may be in them.
o If we love Jesus, God will love us and reveal Himself to us.
 John 14:21 (NASB) He who has My commandments and keeps them is the one who loves
Me; and he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and will disclose
Myself to him.
The Spirit-Controlled Life: Week 2, Authentic Love, p. 3
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God’s love is reflected in a manner consistent with the love – agape – defined in 1 Cor.
13:3-8.
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God’s love is reflected in His discipline.
o Hebrews 12:6 (NASB) for the Lord disciplines the one He loves, and punishes every son
whom He receives.
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God's love casts out fear.
o 1 John 4:17-18 (NASB) By this is love perfected with us, so that we may have
confidence for the day of judgment, because as he is so also are we in this world.
There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with
punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.
Authentic Love in Action: The Apostle John
In John we see a man who exchanged ambition for affection. We see someone who went from a “son
of thunder” to “the disciple Jesus loved.”
Luke 9:51-56 (NLT) (51) As the time drew near for his return to heaven, Jesus resolutely set out for
Jerusalem. (52) He sent messengers ahead to a Samaritan village to prepare for his arrival. (53) But
they were turned away. The people of the village refused to have anything to do with Jesus because he
had resolved to go to Jerusalem. (54) When James and John heard about it, they said to Jesus, "Lord,
should we order down fire from heaven to burn them up?" (55) But Jesus turned and rebuked them.
(56) So they went on to another village.
John 19:25-27 (NLT) (25) Standing near the cross were Jesus' mother, and his mother's sister, Mary (the
wife of Clopas), and Mary Magdalene. (26) When Jesus saw his mother standing there beside the
disciple he loved, he said to her, "Woman, he is your son." (27) And he said to this disciple, "She is your
mother." And from then on this disciple took her into his home.
1 John 4:7-21 (NLT) (7) Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God.
Anyone who loves is born of God and knows God. (8) But anyone who does not love does not know God-for God is love. (9) God showed how much he loved us by sending his only Son into the world so that
we might have eternal life through him. (10) This is real love. It is not that we loved God, but that he
loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins. (11) Dear friends, since God loved us that
much, we surely ought to love each other. (12) No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other,
God lives in us, and his love has been brought to full expression through us. (13) And God has given us
his Spirit as proof that we live in him and he in us. (14) Furthermore, we have seen with our own eyes
and now testify that the Father sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. (15) All who proclaim that
Jesus is the Son of God have God living in them, and they live in God. (16) We know how much God
loves us, and we have put our trust in him. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives
in them. (17) And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of
judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we are like Christ here in this world. (18) Such
love has no fear because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of judgment, and this
shows that his love has not been perfected in us. (19) We love each other as a result of his loving us
first. (20) If someone says, "I love God," but hates a Christian brother or sister, that person is a liar; for if
we don't love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we have not seen? (21) And God himself
has commanded that we must love not only him but our Christian brothers and sisters, too.
The Spirit-Controlled Life: Week 2, Authentic Love, p. 4
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John didn’t just command love – he lived it. Fully convinced of God’s love for him, he poured himself
out in love for others. Consider two historical examples from early Christians who knew stories about
John from John’s disciple, Polycarp:
From Beth Moore, Beloved Disciple, pp. 147-148:
Jerome “tells the story that John lived to an advanced age in Ephesus. So feeble was he that only with difficulty
could his Christian disciples carry him to the church building. He could hardly speak, but when he did he said the
same words: ‘Little children, love one another.’ Eventually his disciples grew weary of hearing the same phrase, so
they asked him why he always spoke it. ‘It is the Lord’s command,’ he replied, ‘and if this alone be done, it is
enough.’”
Clement: “While visiting a new bishop and his congregation in Smyrna, John ‘saw a young man of strong body,
beautiful appearance, and warm heart. ‘I commend this man,’ John] said, ‘to you with all diligence in the face of
the church, and with Christ as my witness.’’ John returned to Ephesus and, as promised the bishop took the young
man under his wing and baptized him. Time passed and the bishop ‘relaxed his great care and watchfulness….But
some idle and dissolute youths, familiar with evil, corrupted him in his premature freedom.’ Before long the young
man gave himself entirely to a life of sin, committed crimes, and even renounced his salvation. Eventually, John
was summoned back to Smyrna and asked for a report on the young man. Somewhat taken aback, the bishop
answered, ‘He has died.’
John inquired, “ ‘How and with what death?’” When the bishop described the young man’s abandoned faith as
death, John replied, “ ‘Well…it was a fine guardian whom I left for the soul of our brother. But let me have a horse,
and some one to show me the way.’” … When the elderly John found the young man, he started to flee. John
called out to him, “ ‘ Why do you run away from me, child, your own father, unarmed and old? Pity me, child, do
not fear me! You have still hope of life. I will account to Christ for you. If it must be, I will willingly suffer your
death, as the Lord suffered for us; for your life, I will give my own. Stay, believe Christ sent me.’”
The young man wept bitterly, embraced the old man, and begged for forgiveness. The account says that John led
the young man back and “baptized [him] a second time in his tears….He brought him to the church, he prayed with
many supplications, he joined with him in the struggle of continuous fasting, he worked on his mind by various
addresses and did not leave him, so they say, until he restored him to the church and thus gave a great example of
true repentance and a great testimony of regeneration, the trophy of a visible resurrection.”
Sowing Seeds of Authentic Love
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Be fully convinced of God’s love for us.
o Love comes from knowing God (1 John 4:8). The one who does not love does not know God,
because God is love.
o Love is discovered not in our love for God, but in His love for us. 1 John 4:10 (NASB) In this is
love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.
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Trust in Him, knowing that God’s actions toward us are based in love.
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Keep the two greatest commandments in proper order – learn to love God well, and we will begin to
love others well.
o Matthew 22:36-40 (NASB) (36) "Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?" (37)
And He said to him, " 'YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND
WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND.' (38) "This is the great and foremost
commandment. (39) "The second is like it, 'YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.'
(40) "On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets."
Fruit of the Spirit, Week 2, Authentic Love, page 5
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We demonstrate our love for God by obeying Him. Obey Him as a loving response (See
John 14:21-24).
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Love for God should result in worship and adoration.
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Call attention to His love. Tozer, p. 98: “...if we would know God and for other's sake tell
what we know, we must try to speak of His love. All Christians have tried, but none has
ever done it very well. I can no more do justice to that awesome and wonder-filled theme
than a child can grasp a star. Still, by reaching toward the star the child may call
attention to it and even indicate the direction one must look to see it. So, as I stretch my
heart toward the high, shining love of God, someone who has not before known about it
may be encouraged to look up and have hope.”
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Focus on Jesus’ example of love, not the world’s definition. He is our measuring stick for how we are to
love others.
o John 15:12 (NASB) This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved
you.
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Find ways to serve. Service is a practical demonstration of our love.
o Galatians 5:13 (NASB) For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not turn your freedom
into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.
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“Love the one” (Heidi Baker).
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Bear the burdens of others through prayer and practical assistance.
o Galatians 6:2 (NASB) Bear one another's burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ
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Choose the standards of agape love. (1 Cor. 13:3-8).
Fruit of the Spirit, Week 2, Authentic Love, page 6
Keeping in Step with the Spirit: Authentic Love
1. Look at the list of characteristics of agape from 1 Corinthians 13 (page 3). Circle those you find
especially challenging to demonstrate. Ask God to show you which one He is wanting to develop in you
this week, and pray for opportunities to grow in this area. Note below anything that happens this week
as a result of your prayer.
2. Agape loves in a way that focuses on what is best for the person. Think about a situation where you
are struggling with what to do. How can agape help you discern your direction?
3. Agape loves the unlovely. Think about who that is for you (an individual or general group of people you
find harder to love). Pray daily this week for God to fill you with His love for that person or group.
4. Review “Sowing Seeds of Authentic Love” on pages 5-6. What do you sense the Lord saying to you
about your part in authentic love?
5. If you are asking the Lord to fill you with His Spirit daily and keeping a journal of where you see Him
work, take special note this week of times you see God manifest authentic love in your life.
Fruit of the Spirit, Week 2, Authentic Love, page 7