TheWake
STUDENT MAGAZINE
www.wakemag.org
The U’s Weekly Student Magazine • March 8, 2006
Staff
Editorial
Editor-in-Chief
Managing Editor
athletics editor
athletics ASSISTANT
ATHLETICS STAFF WRITERS
Campus Editor
campus ASSISTANT
CAMPUS STAFF WRITERS
Literary Editor
LITERARY ASSISTANT
S&V Editor
s&v ASSISTANT
S&V STAFF WRITERS
FILM CRITIC
Voices Editor
voices ASSISTANT
VOICES STAFF WRITERS
Kay Steiger
Lane Trisko
Craig Rentmeester
Brian Tolentino
Jeff Barthel
Tyler Rushmeyer
Jessica Mann
Sarah Howard
Rachel Drewelow
Vincent Staupe
Kim Gengler
Kel Sangster
Michael Mitchell
Jenny Odegard
Erin Belling
Haily Gostas
Rachel LaBine
Chris Wilson
Colleen Hellenbrand
Cole Dennis
Tom McNamara
Nicole Wurdak
Production
Production Manager
ART DIRECTOR
PHOTO EDITOR
WEB EDITOR
COVER ART
GRAPHIC DESIGN
illustration
photography
Copy EditorS
Eric Price
Sam Soule
Brennan Vance
Andy Tyra
Blaine Garrett
Carina Enbody
Shannon Licari
Eric Price
Jeremy Sengly
Alex Amend
Hilary Falk
Aaron Groh
Alex Judkins
Miranda Peterson
Aaron Ridgeway
Jeremy Sengly
Stacy Bengs
Nick Upton
Brennan Vance
Elizabeth Aulwes
Clayton Benjamin
Mary Cummings
Kelly Frush
Business
Business Manager
Office Manager
Advertising Executive
PR DIRECTOR
Distributors
BOARD OF DIRECTORS
Andy Tyra
Tamara Swanson
Jamie King
Cassie Benson
Gwen McNamara
Ryan Frailich
Brennan Vance
Chris Wilson
James DeLong
Paul Froiland
Courtney Lewis
Kathy Schlecht
William Swanson
12 The Walker Showcases
Kiki Smith’s Body of Work
The artist Kiki Smith is showcasing a lifetime of work ranging from
painting to sculpture at the Walker Art Center starting this month.
The work is less political and more about the body of subjects,
reflecting the beauty of the female form. Before you leap off to
the Walker to see the exhibit on free student Thursdays, read The
Wake’s interpretation of events.
14 Everyone Here Could
Kick My Ass
Left. Right. Hook. Down. Boxing has been popularized in recent
years by big-budget movies like Million Dollar Baby and Cinderella
Man, but what does it take to enter into the amateur world of
boxing? One of our writers tries out boxing in a Minneapolis gym
where everyone in the room could kick his ass.
©2006
Contributing Writers
Jeff Barthel, Sarah E. Bauer, Erin Belling,
Rachel Drewelow, JP Frederick, Sarah
Howard, Tom McNamara, Michael Mitchell,
Kristen Mueller, Jenny Odegard, Ian Power,
Vincent Staupe, Brian Tolentino, Nick
Upton, Chris Wilson
Established in 2002, The Wake is an
independent weekly magazine, produced
by and for students at the University of
Minnesota. The Wake is a registered
student organization.
The Wake was founded by Chris Ruen and
James DeLong.
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Send letters to letters@wakemag.org
Please include your name, year, and
college. The Wake does not publish
anonymous letters.
Volume 4; Issue 14
Letter from the Editor
Women’s basketball, yo
Athletics ......................................................................................... 4
The eggs are loose!
Campus .......................................................................................... 7
An essay on petty theft
Literary ........................................................................................ 10
If you can read this, you are literate
Voices ........................................................................................... 16
Improvised Explosive Device more fun than it sounds
Sound & Vision .............................................................................. 19
Eat it
Bastard ........................................................................................ 22
Dear Campus,
I enjoy riding my bike. I really do, so much so that I often find myself
riding in less-than-ideal conditions, such as rainstorms and blizzards.
However, exposing my bike to such elements can be troublesome.
Let’s just say, I’m not very good at keeping my bike in pristine condition.
Now don’t get me wrong, I keep my chain lubed … most of the time.
The only thing is, apparently there are other parts of (or related to) the
bike that need attention. One such item is the bike lock. Did you know
those things could get rusty and stop working? I didn’t.
Now my bike is locked to a no parking sign and the key to let loose my
preferred mode of transportation is broken. So my question to you, oh
fair campus: Does anyone have one of those big lock-breaky thingies
so I can get my bike back? If you do, that’d be sweet. Let me know.
LANE TRISKO
Managing Editor
ltrisko@wakemag.org
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4
Athletics
March 8, 2006
February to Forget;
Lady Gophers look to bounce back
Photos by stacy bengs
 BY jeff barthel
February was a cold month. The weather,
sure, but that’s expected in Minnesota. What’s
not expected? The Gophers women’s basketball
team losing four straight games as they near
post-season.
“We’ve hit a bump right now,” says junior
guard Kelly Roysland during a Feb. 21 interview.
“But we’ve felt we’ve played some pretty good
basketball overall and we’ve got a pretty good
record right now.”
Fortunately, for Roysland and her team, two
weeks without a win ended when they defeated
Indiana on Feb. 23 and rolled over Northwestern
on Feb. 26.
“I think the win over Indiana was a good
start, I think it was the best defense we’ve
played as a team all year,” says head coach Pam
Borton of her team’s elusive 65-58 defeat of the
Hoosiers. “It feels good to get back heading in
the right direction … our players deserve all the
credit, they’ve been working hard handling all
the pressure the last couple of weeks. I felt it was
a good start, but we’ve got to be consistent.”
Minnesota’s first four-game losing streak
since the 2000-01 season was not pretty. It included blowout losses to Michigan State and
Purdue (by 23 and 32 points, respectively) and a
disappointing 67-61 loss at rival Wisconsin.
Despite the perils of such a losing skid,
Borton remains optimistic her team can be in
position to make another NCAA tournament run
this March. “I think no matter who we play in
these games (in the Big Ten tournament) get
us ready for the NCAAs” says Borton. “Because
these games, these teams, the attitude, Purdue,
Michigan State, these are teams that will get us
ready for the NCAA tournament.”
Getting there is a given. Minnesota’s win
over the Hoosiers put them at 18-8 (10-5 in Big
Ten play). There will be no Big Ten Championship, but the lady Gophers have been able
to punch another pass to the NCAA Division-I
tournament – Minnesota’s fifth-straight NCAA
championship quest begins when the tournament starts March 18.
Borton, who has coached NCAA basketball for 17 years, will bring Minnesota to March
Madness for her fourth time. As head coach
here, Borton has orchestrated the tournament
runs with the benefits of having All-American
and eventual WNBA number one pick, Janel
McCarville, as well as All-everything Minnesota
women’s basketball, Lindsey Whalen.
This season Minnesota lacks these two superstars, but they do have a rising star in the preseason All-Big Ten pick, forward Jamie Broback.
The team also has some other highly talented
seniors (including defensive specialist—senior
Shannon Bolden) and a team (as a whole) Borton claims is “the deepest” and “most talented”
team she’s ever coached.
Roysland, a third year Kinesiology student,
“It feels good to get back
heading in the right
direction...our players
deserve all the credit,
they’ve been working hard
handling all the pressure the
last couple weeks. I felt it
was a good start, but we’ve
got to be consistent.” [Coach
Pam Borton]
is not yet Broback’s caliber on the basketball
court, but she’s shown signs of being yet another rising star for Minnesota.
A native of Fosston, Minn., Roysland ar-
rived at the U in 2003. In her freshman season,
Roysland was teammates with Whalen. Having
similar styles in terms of lane penetration and
passing, Roysland says Whalen often helped
Kelly with her game when the two played together.
“Yeah, I definitely try to emulate her sometimes, I think any player would,” says Roysland,
“just the way she can get into the lane and create
great space for herself and to get a shot off, stuff
like that … She was great for me, always helpful
and always encouraging to me.”
“Kelly, yea, we were roomies on the road
trips that year,” says Whalen, in a phone interview from Connecticut—where she plays for the
WNBA’s Connecticut Sun.
Whalen says the two roomed together on
the road during the 2003-04 season, the year of
Minnesota’s Final Four.
“She definitely does a bit, she’s got a good
ability to take it in the lane, drive and penetrate,
dish it out,” says Whalen. “I think she’s a great
creator, as well as a great penetrator.”
Borton says she can see some similarities
between her ex and current pupils as well; but
also says she finds Roysland to be a better fit
at the two-guard, noting that her ball handling
abilities (right now) are not fit to run the point.
Roysland admits she can be a bit overaggressive
and has committed 43 turnovers on the season.
Athletics
www.wakemag.org
5
March to Remember?
However, she has recently been one of the few
Gophers who have provided consistent play
throughout the losing streak.
Over the two winless weeks, Roysland’s
play earned her increased playing time and
has done well. Over the team’s four losses,
she averaged 15 minutes per game, scoring
5.5 points, also contributing six assists and
five rebounds.
Roysland was able to start in two games as
well. In the team’s win over Indiana, she started
her second straight game, scoring 11 points
and picking up 3 assists. The other start came
against Wisconsin, where she played a crucial
role. In that game, despite Minnesota losing 6761, Roysland scored 13 points, hitting eight of
nine free throws—including 2-2 with less than
two minutes remaining that cut Minnesota’s
margin to 61-59. Although her play might merit
her more minutes of court time, having senior
captains like Shannon Schonrock and April Calhoun have made it tough.
“You know, we have nine guards on the
team,” says Roysland, who proceeded to mention the names of practically all of them. “It’s
a tough job for the coach when she’s drawing
up plays … it’s all about personnel and how the
team’s jelling, and I’m happy with whatever role
she gives me.”
As for the team as a whole this season, Minnesota’s accomplished a lot; turnovers, however,
have been plentiful. Throughout Minnesota’s
regular season, they averaged 16.5 turnovers
per game – ranking just sixth among its Big Ten
competitors. Minnesota has done well, however,
to overcome its many mistakes.
Strong inside play from sophomore Natasha
Williams (8.3 points per game and a 3.8 rebound
average) and junior forward Liz Podominick (8.3
ppg, 5.2 rpg) has led Minnesota’s McCarvilleless inside game. Schonrock and Calhoun have
had solid seasons as well.
In her fourth season at guard with the Gophers, Schonrock has led Minnesota’s Big Ten
leading three-point shooting attack (52 made
attempts and 42.6 percent success rate). While
Calhoun, a fourth-year transfer from Iowa, has
not been a huge scoring factor, she has shown
a calm sense of court control. The native of New
Hope, Minn. leads the team with 92 assists, and
committing few turnovers (55) in comparison.
Whalen and Borton both say the most important thing for this team, heading into the
tournament, is feeling comfortable with each
other.
The selection committee will have a tough
choice when seeding Minnesota this year. The
Gophers had key victories over Michigan State,
ranked 14th at the time, and a win over Stanford,
ranked 11th at the time, for the Subway Classic
championship. However, the February skid will
be fresh in the minds of the NCAA committee,
which will likely deal out a fifth or sixth seed to
the Gophers.
6
Athletics
March 8, 2006
Poker
Night
Non-fallible, 100
percent truth
(except all of it)
illustration By alex judkins
 BY jp frederick
Pam Borton, Dan Monson and I were
playing five-card stud in the Barn locker room.
Like all poker games involving collegiate head
coaches, there were ample amounts of alcohol.
Don’t be naive; everybody knows college head
coaches take five shots of bourbon before breakfast. In between body shots, beer bongs and
awkward moments, the two would discuss basketball while I gazed in pure amazement at two
transcendent coaching minds. I was watching a
Bobby Knight and Joe Pa interview on a TV in
the corner.
I had two jacks and was hoping for a third to
match my pair when I asked a simple question:
who would win, the women Gophers or the men
Gophers?
I had two jacks and was
hoping for a third to match
my pair when I asked a
simple question: who would
win, the women Gophers or
the men Gophers?
Monson, with only hazy memories of Iowa
and Michigan State deep in his drunken mind,
said the women would win. He rambled on and
on about Jamie Broback this and Jamie Broback
that, and begged Borton to borrow Schonrock
for the “Big Eleven” tourney. Dan praised the
women’s role players for not making many mistakes, while saying the men’s role players make
mistakes whenever the ball is within a five-foot
radius of their bodies. Then—while double fisting shots of Cuervo—he claimed that Borton
would out-think, out-coach and out-dress him.
Pam, laughing and rebuking every word Dan
said, fell out of her chair like a blast of buckshot
had just hit her in the face and neck region.
Where have I heard that before?
Now usually Pam’s a princess; fair-skinned
and precious as a child. Tonight though, she was
the antithesis of sobriety and began screaming,
ranting and generally freaking the shit out of
me. She heaped praises upon praises at the feet
of Vincent Grier and Rico Tucker; claiming that,
if there ever was a game, they would simply take
whatever they wanted and lay the game to waste.
She then added, “... while Adam Boone may be,
what, 73 years old? Well, he’s a young 73.”
Pam also explained how—and Dan and I
hadn’t looked at it from this light—the men’s
team has three players measuring six-foot-nine,
while the women’s team has three players topping out at just six-foot-three and that would
probably be a factor, because this is basketball
and height is a factor in basketball.
Dan tossed his half-full glass of gin across
the room. He began to stomp his feet and the
Barn’s lights grew dim. He was disgusted with
Pam. Basketball’s not just about size, strength
and speed ... it’s about heart, Dan said with tears
in his voice and hopes in his eyes. Pam was selling herself short, he argued; the women’s team
doesn’t quit and doesn’t take a night off, except
in Purdue and Wisconsin. That’s when Pam
punched Dan right square in the nose. Just a
love punch, but Dan had to be taken to the hospital immediately.
“Your luck ran out,” Pam laughed at him.
Monson kept mumbling “Podominick ... Tollack-
Dan praised the women’s
role players for not making
many mistakes, while saying
that the men’s role players
make mistakes whenever
the ball is within a five-foot
radius of their bodies.
son’s worst nightmare ... Podominick,” as he was
wheeled into the ambulance. Borton joined him
on the ride to the hospital, held his hand, talked
to him like he was a newborn pup. “Who’s gonna
win the 2006 NIT Championship? Who’s gonna
win the 2006 NIT Championship? You are. Yes,
you are.” I just sat there, flipped over my last
card, and drew up the jack of hearts. Where have
I heard that before?
Athletic Events
March 8, 6:30 p.m.,
Men’s Baseball vs. NDSU
Metrodome
March 10, 6:30 p.m.
Men’s Baseball vs. Vermont
Metrodome
March 10, 7 p.m.
Men’s Gymnastics vs. Iowa
Sports Pavilion
March 11, 6 p.m.
Women’s Gymnastics vs. Ohi­­o State
Sports Pavilion
March 11, 6:30 p.m.
Men’s Baseball vs. Ball State
Metrodome
March 11, TBA
WCHA Championship
Ridder Arena
March 12, TBA
WCHA Championship
Ridder Arena
March 12, 3 p.m.
Men’s Baseball vs. Illinois State
Metrodome
www.wakemag.org
Campus
the
7
great
egg
debate
student group wants UDS to show caged
chickens some compassion
illustration by aaron ridgeway
by rachel drewelow
It’s happened to the best of us. Just hanging
in Coffman, waiting in line for a bagel, we’ve cast
a curious sideways glance and spied a television
airing images of overcrowded, bloody, dirty and
downright unhappy hens.
Some of us might have canceled the egg
on our bagel and maybe others just grinned and
reminisced about that scene in Napoleon Dynamite where he works in a hen barn ... haha, oh
Napoleon.
But these images are no laughing matter to
Compassionate Action for Animals (CAA), the
student organization that has been showing the
documentary “Meet your Meat” in Coffman. The
group of about 200 active volunteers has been
campaigning for several months in hopes that
University Dining Services (UDS) will begin
serving Certified Humane cage-free eggs.
“Certified Humane” implies strict standards
and inspections and is backed by the Humane
Society of the United States and the American
Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.
Currently, UDS orders 90 percent of its eggs
from Michael Foods—which does not meet requirements to carry the lower United Egg Producer’s certification, the CAA says.
Karen DeVet, assistant director of dining
services, says that UDS is open to considering
the idea. The switch has been forecasted to raise
meal plan prices 0.4 percent (two to four cents
per meal), so UDS will need student feedback,
she explains. All students living in the dorms
must purchase a meal plan.
The Graduate Student Association, the
UDS Advisory Board, and over 2,000 residents
have come out in support of the campaign, but
UDS is waiting to hear from the Residential
Housing Association (RHA). After hearing from
RHA, UDS will make a decision. Implementation will depend on an administrative request for
an increased budget, DeVet explains. “I would
anticipate a decision [from UDS] by the first of
March,” DeVet says.
Donny Mansfield, CAA officer and coordinator of the campaign says, “It can seem like a
fringe issue, but that’s not the case.” CAA says
over 75 universities have switched or are in the
process of switching to cage-free eggs. Nearby
Macalester College, fellow Big Ten school the
University of Iowa, and several schools who
contract with Aramark (UDS’s food service provider) serve cage-free eggs.
SEE eggs, PAGE 8
8
Campus
March 8, 2006
Upcoming Events
Wednesday, March 8
Off-Campus Housing Fair
11:00 a.m. - 2:00 p.m. (Great Hall , Coffman Memorial Union, Minneapolis Campus)
Where are you living next year? Thinking of renting an off-campus apartment? The Off-Campus Housing Fair provides students
with an opportunity to meet property owners, representatives from community groups and staff from university departments.
This event provides information needed to make an informed decision about living off campus. Read The Minnesota Daily Housing
Guide, published on Feb. 28, for additional information. This annual event is co-sponsored by Housing & Residential Life, The Minnesota Daily, and Student & Community Relations.
Building Ties: Culturally Sensitive Housing Designs for Hmong and Somali Refugees
1:00 p.m. -5:00 p.m. (Hennepin History Museum—Off Campus)
BUILDING TIES: Culturally Sensitive Housing Designs for Hmong and Somali Refugees is an exhibition by UM interior design
students under the direction of Dr. Tasoulla Hadjiyanni. The exhibition features interior spaces to support cultural practices like
cooking traditional foods, religious customs, and gathering with friends and family. Culturally sensitive design can improve mental,
emotional and physical well-being and can ease new immigrant groups’ adjustment to American life. Seventeen residential design
solutions are included. Exhibition is displayed at the Hennepin History Museum, 2303 Third Ave. S., Minneapolis, MN 55404; 612870-1329; www.hhmuseum.org Admission is $2 for adults, $1 for kids and seniors and free for museum members.
Thursday, March 9
The Origin of the Words “man” and “wife” and the Germanic View of Humanity
4:00 p.m. (Room 229 Nolte Center for Continuing Education, Minneapolis Campus)
Anatoly Liberman is a professor in the Department of German, Scandinavian and Dutch. In linguistics, he is mainly interested in
historical phonology and the origin of words and is working on a new etymological dictionary of English. In literature, his publications deal with Germanic poetry and Scandinavian myths. Public parking is available in the Fourth Street Ramp or the Church
Street Garage.
The Social Life of Hmong: A Lecture by Louisa Schein
4:00 p.m. -6:00 p.m. ( Room 120, 125 Nolte Center for Continuing Education, Minneapolis Campus)
Lecture by Louisa Schein, Department of Anthropology, Rutgers University.
Friday, March 10
Seminar: Cities of Color: The New Racial Frontier in Minority-Majority Cities
12:00 p.m. -2:00 p.m. (Ford Room, Social Science Tower, Minneapolis Campus)
Albert Camarillo, professor of history at Stanford University, and Carol McKibben, director of the Monterey Regional Oral History
and Immigration Project, will speak at a free seminar (lunch provided) about how new immigrants are changing minority community dynamics in West Coast cities. Complete details are at www.ihrc.umn.edu/news/06-1-11-8.htm.
Tuesday, March 14
Organizing Life: A New Evolution
6:00 p.m. -8:00 p.m. (Varsity Theater, Dinkytown)
What evolutionary patterns link Earth’s species, from microbes to birds to human beings? In conjunction with the Walker Art
Center’s exhibition “Kiki Smith: A Gathering, 1980-2005,” the Bell Museum presents a special Café Scientifique on taxonomy,
phylogeny, and evolution. Join biologist and Bell Museum Director Scott Lanyon for an introduction to a worldwide research effort
that is equivalent in scope to the Human Genome Project, and find out how and why researchers like Lanyon are assembling an
evolutionary “tree of life” that will organize the 1.7 million described species on Earth. To learn more about Smith’s artwork, which
references taxonomy, visit walkerart.org. Café Scientifique is sponsored in part by Sigma Xi, University of Minnesota Chapter.
EGGS, CONTINUED FROM PAGE 7
CAA wants the university to add itself to
that list because “the suffering in factory farms
is so bad,” Mansfield says. “It’s the worst form of
animal cruelty.”
At Michael Foods’s farms, hens aren’t given proper space to move, groom themselves or
perform other natural functions, the CAA says.
They also don’t have perches or nesting materials. Contrarily, in certified humane facilities,
hens have perches, nesting spaces, and litter to
bathe in. In these facilities, all hens are inspected twice daily, sick hens are segregated and severely injured hens are “humanely euthanized,”
the CAA explains.
However, Dr. Jacquie Jacob, professor in the
Department of Animal Science, argues in her article, “The welfare of the laying hen: The science
behind the caged versus cage-free debate,” that it
is “difficult to speculate about how birds ‘feel.’”
“Neither system [caged nor cage-free] is
perfect. If you do not manage them properly,
there will be problems with both systems,” she
explains.
“Cage-free” does not mean the hens will be
reared outside, Jacob says, even if they are Certi-
fied Humane eggs. Cages were first developed
for use in these indoor farms to prevent “parasitic problems,” she says. Cages serve to “separate
hens from their manure” and prevent diseases,
she explains.
Jacobs also pointed out in her article that
a study in the European Union, which will ban
cage-rearing in 2010, found cannibalism, bacterial infections and eggshell contamination to be
at a higher risk in cage-free barns.
Jacobs contends that, as of right now, caged
facilities are “better for the welfare of the birds
and the consumers.” There is ongoing research,
some of it at the university, to further develop
cage-facilities, she says. “It is kind of a wait-andsee approach.”
But for now, she writes, “Eggs coming
from modern egg-laying production facilities in
the United States are the cleanest and safest in
comparison to any in the world.”
The CAA disagrees, and hopes to “show
UDS there is a lot of student support for cagefree eggs,” Mansfield says. “The focus is just to
reduce suffering,” he says, “and I think the outlook is looking really good right now.”
Melanoma Beds
The costs of the
spring break “base
tan”
 BY sarah howard
As spring break approaches, many students
will head to local tanning parlors for that perfect
“base tan” to get the best bronze glow possible
while on vacation. Many students continue to
tan and take advantage of tanning specials this
time of year, even though the dangers of tanning
are widely known.
“Our business increases about 50 percent
[around spring break],” says Grant Vaith, owner of the Planet Beach tanning salon on Como
Avenue in Dinkytown. “People start tanning for
spring break in February and tan for the months
afterward to maintain their tan,” he says.
Vaith says that most
customers are not worried
about the risks tanning can
pose to your health because
“people that worry about
that would not come into our
salon.”
Vaith says that spring break is so busy because it brings new customers to the salon as
well as increases the tanning frequency of regular customers. “If you provide good customer
service they will come back,” he says. “We hope
that they come back, and they do.” Vaith also
says that many people come to his salon as referrals from previous customers.
Planet Beach offers new customers three
free tans and Vaith says that this offer is used
year round, but especially around spring break
time. “We’ll let customers get a base tan on us,”
he says. “Most of the time people end up buying
a package [after coming in for free].”
Neon Sun tanning salon in Stadium Village
has special packages geared toward younger
people. According to their Web site they offer
10 percent discounts on products and packages
to students, specials for sorority and fraternity
members that will pick your group up in a limousine, as well as specials for bar and nightclub
employees.
Vaith says that most customers are not
worried about the risks tanning can pose to your
health because “people that worry about that
would not come into our salon.” Planet Beach
does a skin-type analysis for new customers to
determine their exposure time, he says.
According to the American Cancer Society,
skin cancer is the most common type of cancer
in the United States. Melanoma (the skin cancer
associated with tanning beds) affects more than
59,000 people in the United States each year and
kills more than 7,000. Melanoma is becoming
more common in the U.S. and other countries
around the world, according to World Health
Organization statistics, and the popularity of tanning and tanning beds is part of the reason.
“The tanning industry has changed and
made a lot of progress,” Vaith says. “Things are
a lot better than 20 years ago.” Tanning salons
are now paying attention to skin health with
monitoring how long someone is in a bed as well
as having better maintenance of the UV bulbs,
he says.
But according to the American Cancer Society, “there is no evidence that tanning in a bed is
any safer than tanning in the sun—in fact, some
tanning beds release much stronger UV light than
the sun does. And at least one study has shown
that women who tan in beds are more likely to
develop melanoma than those who don’t.”
Currently, the American Academy of Dermatology is pushing the World Health Organization’s recommendation for tanning bed requirements. These include not allowing minors to
use tanning devices, placing a surgeon general’s
warning on all tanning beds and not allowing tanning salons to advertise certain beds as “safe.”
For those worried about the risks associated with tanning, most salons offer a Mystic or
similar spray-on tan that is free of UV rays, but
these types of tanning packages do not provide
any type of “base tan.”
Of course, the safest way to tan is not to tan
at all and to wear sunscreen at all times. Most
college students do not do this because “damage
does not show right away so young people aren’t
aware of the damage,” the AAD says.
Despite the health risks, tan skin holds
onto its appeal. “Definitely people want to look
good and feel good,” Vaith says. “Winter is a
long time.”
Campus
www.wakemag.org
9
ILLUSTRATION BY AARON GROH
Spring Break for Humanity
A more meaningful alternative to wet t-shirt contests
 BY VINCENT STAUPE
Spring break in today’s culture can mostly
be summed up by MTV, where (on its “Essential
Spring Break Guide”) the mega-channel geared
towards college students touts Cancun, a popular spring break destination, as “rightfully known
as a netherworld of debauched frat dudes and
raunchy girls where you may drunkenly sign a
release and then everyone and your parents can
see you on the latest ‘Girls Gone Wild’ commercial.” For some students, though, spring break
can be anything but your typical vacation.
For students involved with the University of
Minnesota chapter of Habitat for Humanity, this
third week in March is all about giving others a
break and having fun with hammers and saws.
“You’ll never forget the week you’ll spend
building a house for someone else,” says Sally
Holzapfel, one of the chapter’s collegiate challenge coordinators. The chapter, according to
Holzapfel, is one of the largest and most active
student groups on campus. In addition to taking winter and spring break house-building trips
with other volunteers from Habitat for Humanity
International (HFHI) chapters across the nation,
the U’s chapter also is building a house in the
Heritage Park neighborhood of Minneapolis.
This spring break, Holzapfel, a second-
year architecture student, is coordinating three
separate trips to build homes for those in need
in Oakland, Calif., Surprise, Ariz., and Albany,
Ga. The cost of the trip is $350, which includes
meals, housing, and transportation, but Holzapfel
stresses that there are opportunities to raise the
money for the trip through fundraising. HFHI
supplies the tools required as well as any other
“I still write letters to a 12year old girl there,” Holzapfel
says of Tutwiler, adding that
the paper and erasers she
sends are a “luxury” for the
children there.
resources the group might need at the housing
site. Area churches and community centers provide food and housing for the students.
According to its Web site, HFHI is a nonprofit, nondenominational Christian housing
organization that is dedicated to “eliminating
poverty housing and homelessness from the
world and to make decent shelter a matter of
conscience and action.” HFHI invites “people
of all backgrounds, races, and religions to build
houses in partnership with families in need,” regardless of the family’s background, race or religion. “Habitat Houses are sold to partner families
at no profit, financed with affordable, no-interest
loans” and it is expected that the homeowners
also invest hundreds of hours of their own labor
into building their Habitat house and the houses
of others, according to the HFHI website.
Holzapfel has been involved with HFHI for
over a year. Since she has joined HFHI, she has
helped build homes in Valdosta, Ga., and Tutwiler, Miss. She says that a typical day begins
at 8 a.m. and ends at 4 p.m., with jobs that include supporting walls for others and putting in
windows. “The coolest thing was that Claire [another campus coordinator] and I sided a whole
side of a house,” Holzapfel enthusiastically says
of her trip to Valdosta.
In Tutwiler, “one of the poorest areas of the
nation,” according to Holzapfel, the rampant poverty and living conditions were “pretty intense
and unbelievable.” It was because of her expe-
rience with HFHI and her trip to Tutwiler that
she realized how poverty is not simply a problem
plaguing third-world countries. “It really opened
my eyes that people need help right here, in the
U.S.,” Holzapfel says.
After they finished their work for the day,
Holzapfel and the other student volunteers
played football with the children of Tutwiler.
“I still write letters to a 12-year-old girl there,”
Holzapfel says, adding that she sends paper and
erasers to her pen-pal, a “luxury” that the children of Tutwiler do not have. “I realized that I
could use my time, money and effort helping
somebody else,” Holzapfel says.
Krista Spinti, a second-year graphic design
student, will be one of the volunteers heading to
Surprise, Ariz., for spring break. Spinti says that
while helping others is a great experience, the
social aspect of the program can be just as engaging. “Everyone I’ve talked to has had a great
experience,” Spinti says, adding that, on her previous trip to California, “I got to know everyone
so well; we had so much fun.”
Sure, they may not be featured on MTV’s
next spring break special, but these students
find that their Spring Break For Humanity is fulfilling nonetheless.
10
Literary
 BY ian power
 illustration by aaron ridgeway
March 8, 2006
An Essay on Petty Theft
I did it again today. I stole from the union. It was amazing, that flawless theft that can only be for food. That dance with abnormal morals
which effects one from lack of nourishment. Some hollow, bitter, cold outside that’s enough to make a man’s guts hungry for anything to
take away the feeling; but not hungry enough to drain the check card on essentially cafeteria food. Not seven-dollars hungry.
I should really feel terrible. Committing this unthinkable deed, this sin of universally bad karma. Stealing from the institution that is
so graciously handing me a future. But when you really think about it, about “robbery,” about taking that which does not belong to you …
Let’s contrast and compare.
Number 1
The food in the union is not good by any standard, it’s actually quite awful. No one is excited to eat
there. If you say you are, you’re a liar. There are no
fire roasted vegetables, no slow-cured meat, no freshbaked bread, no loving nourishment; this food has no
soul. It is processed filth, a plethora of machine regurgitation and false titles. The sodium and desperation
hide the taste, and the taste hides the empty.
My route nowadays is direct, swift and immediate. I burst through the front doors like the
four horseman. Rip through those pale faces all
sleeping in Ikea, food surrounding plush velvet
couch-stools. Food they paid for. No wonder
they don’t have any energy; their lives are in
limbo, marketing and public relations, and the
whole world just talking about itself.
I feel like Jesse James. Slipping away from
what looks to be a normal procrastinatic study
session into a nourishing theft. Smiling as I
just bounce to the escalator—some thick Arabian rhythm blasting melodic minor through my
headphones, the illusion of life as a movie. This is
how you steal anything small from a public place.
You make it smooth and cinematic, one constant
act, and close curtain when you’re crossing the
Washington Street Bridge, pizza in hand. Until
then you’re professional, you’re Rupert fucking
Murdoch. Treat every morsel of food as if it’s a
presidential election, rob it of its meaning and
make it into something worthless.
Sometimes you have an accomplice in
crime. Some fiery little blonde atom bomb just
Number 2
When I was seven I got hot lunch at school. It cost
me a dollar and twenty-five cents, and I got mini-corndogs, chocolate milk, a fruit cup, choice of vegetables
and even a brownie. On Tuesdays we had taquitos. I
was infinitely more satisfied than I am today. And it
cost six dollars less. There is absolutely no way that
the food in the union costs even one fourth of what
they charge, it is unfathomable. And Flexdine? What
the hell is Flexdine? They are asking you to transfer
your real money into money that is worthless everywhere else except the union. Wow, great idea, what
Carlson alumni came up with that one?
begging for the ten seconds of euphoria she can
ride from rubbing against the grain. Like the first
time she ran away from the cops or the first time
she broke a boy’s heart—
This is what females live for. These sorts of
girls can prove handy for petty crime, seductive
minx. They busy themselves counting change
for Diet Coke while you just walk on through
and wait for the afterglow. That red faced stuttering cashier continually glancing down the
open blouse you insisted she wear, the one that
pushes the boundaries of flesh and cotton, the
one you’ve ripped off of her a thousand times before. She’s going home with you, and you aren’t
going home on an empty stomach. You just glide
on through like KY Jelly. Crime is only a small
step away from making love: the heartbeat’s
there, the tension, the tranquility, the danger. I
am a good-for-nothing slut in this business, but I
am no Winona. I steal because I have no money
and I steal because I am hungry. The feeling of
life rushing up to meet you for a few seconds is
merely a bonus, just the icing on this half-baked
cake. After poverty stares you in the face for a
Number 3
In stealing from the union, I am not robbing
some kindly old shop-keep with graying hair and a
gracious smile. I am not stealing from some Cuban
fishmonger, or a shadowy fruit market maiden. I am
not stealing from any person in particular. I am stealing from an institution, an institution that is stealing
from me and thousands of others on a much larger
scale. No I don’t feel bad, not for one second.
few semesters, stealing groceries seems almost
a right of passage, a phantom credit to add to my
transcript, skills to take into the real world.
My last three accomplices have been
gunned down in the act (the dearest of them quite
recently in fact.) I would’ve stayed to mourn and
answer questions, mouth full of chicken nugget,
but they wouldn’t have paid me the same respect.
So I now work alone. There is no use in trying to
recruit another partner, another operative, it’s
hopeless. I haven’t found a genuine human of the
opposite sex in what seems like years. Real girls
are a dying breed. False smiles and ATM cards
are winning out over coy sexuality and the ability
to laugh from the heart. No shallow girl can steal
well. They don’t have the character. They flinch
up. These girls that stumble home from the bar
to find themselves in the arms of the anonymous,
these girls are incapable of true love. They are
the real crooks, the stealers of souls, these arsonists of human emotion. I know them all too
well. And so I have walked away to a life of quiet
burglary. Smug in my own wonderful gloom.
Yet … at the end of the night, when the city
is all alight with provocative questions—beautiful with no answers, I can’t help but sometimes
find myself looking down side streets looming
in twilight. Watching for some curious ballerina
who sways to her headphones as she sings to
herself and walks in the beat. Waiting for that
one amazing plunge to sweep her away. The riptide of life. This could be … something. There
is hope for all of us. I think. You have just got
to take it, and if it’s stealing then you are a thief.
Accept it, embrace it.
I almost want to get caught. I almost want
for this to get printed, for the jig to be up. Cuff
me. Wait for me on Tuesdays. I find myself most
ready to fight then, with no taquitos in my stomach. I am the last goddamn cowboy, riding into
most certain defeat. If I’m caught I’ll be a martyr. If I keep on going I retire a legend. What’s
it gonna be? Pick your poison. No matter what
happens at least that second, that moment will
be actual and real. At least I will have this; the
feeling to look back on when everything else
is stripped away. Naked and opaque, the
hunger remains.
Literary
www.wakemag.org
If one cannot revolt then what does one have?
A perfect state? A perfect life? Equality? Perhaps,
in revolutionless societies life is more pure and
consequently more perfect because there is less
death, and the lack of death causes people to
know what life is really about. In such societies life
would be seen as the ultimate goal, the ultimate
reality and thus would not openly invite death to
their door. However, with that written a question
lay unanswered; namely, can such a society actually exist? Many have written books, articles and
screenplays about these societies, but as of late as
I stare blankly at my TV screen, I am not convinced
of their existence. Therefore, as many of us stand
on the pinnacle of our young lives we wonder what
can be done, or yet more importantly, what can we
do to make this, our collective world, a better place
to live in. The answer, in the most revolutionary
terminology I can think of, is to stay home and
write letters.
Now, writing letters in this age of e-mail and
mobile phones may sound like an antiquated idea
at best, yet through the written language there is
a power which lay untapped in the modern world,
and thus with it castles of villainy and mountains of
woe can be conquered. No longer will we, the innocent persons of this world, be forced to labor under the yoke and chain of our oppressors. For, with
paper and pen as our allies, nothing shall be able to
deter us from creating a Universe of free ideas. It
has been said that in order to free the person, the
mind must first be liberated; writing letters then
presents the quintessential outlet for such a task.
However, letters of such social magnitude cannot
be written in any old fashion, and there enters the
question of exactly how should one go about writing a revolutionary letter.
Letters of the revolutionary variety should
always be addressed to our oppressors, so when
taking the time to write, always make certain to address the letter to the following:
Oppressors (Wherever we may find them)
7 Continents of Earth
Milky Way Galaxy, Universe
Much the same way Santa Claus and or any
other “celebrity” of that sort receives mail is the
same fashion our oppressors shall get their letters
as well.
As to the content of the letters, it is always
best if they follow a revolutionary format. One in
which the problem is stated in such a way as to
relieve all doubt from the oppressor’s mind as to
what is to follow, but also in which the problem is
set apart from the rest of the letter by writing it in
ink. The reason being, problems are always taken
much more seriously if they are written in ink then
if they were, perhaps, written in crayon. Therefore,
it is to the benefit of the letter and humankind at
large to “ink” the problem.
The body of the letter can be rather tricky
because one must back up the problem with facts
about why in fact there is a problem, but perhaps
more importantly, what should be done. For this,
it is imperative to remember that you are just a
writer, and because of this you cannot be expected
to be responsible for all the facts of the case. Thus,
a good way to go about writing the body of a letter is to remove or just not include all of the facts.
Every writer knows that the purpose of writing is
to be creative, and factual information is seldom, if
ever, creative. Thus, it is strongly recommended
that allusions, rhetorical phrases, metaphors and
heightened language be utilized instead. In this
way, your letter can get results and not be hard to
read at the same time.
Though the body of such letters can be hard
sometimes, the real trouble always occurs at the
end or conclusion of the letter. This is not surprising, as the author of the letter almost always has
used all the wit they can muster for the body and
now are without wordplay for the end. Yet, all that
needs to be done is for the author to find a poem of
any length and insert it at the end. Oppressors hate
poetry so much that they will oftentimes re-read
the letter so as to escape from having to tax their
minds on other literary form. In consequence, a
well-written revolutionary letter can have twice the
effect an ordinary atypical letter has.
Finally, when ending a letter it is always important to sign your name as anonymous because
then you can live to write another day. Too often
young people feel the need to sign their names in
an attempt to gain immortality and stardom, when
in reality all they receive in return is a firing squad.
Thus, heroes become martyrs, but revolutionary writers become heads of state, which is what
makes writing so enjoyable. No risk, with all the
rewards.
Thus, if you feel the world needs to be
changed for the better right away, there can be no
better outlet than that of the writer. A champion of
truth and righteousness, who looks for nothing but
the betterment of humankind. Writers everywhere
then should take up their pens and paper against
their oppressors everywhere and take glory for today and save death for tomorrow.
11
Free Live Lit Calendar
Peter Henry
U of M Bookstore, Coffman
Wednesday, March 8, 7 p.m.
Peter Henry’s autobiography, Becoming Mr.
Henry, tells the story of the inner workings
of a man destined to become a teacher. The
book explores how teachers must work in
environments that focus on social issues,
such as birth control and drug usage. Henry
will be discussing his book when he visits
the U of M Bookstore in Coffman.
Louisa Schein
Nolte Center Lounge
315 Pillsbury Dr. SE, Mpls.
Thursday, March 9, 4 p.m.
Professor Louisa Schein is the author of
several works regarding roles of gender,
media and tourism in Asia (particularly in
China). She will be giving a lecture entitled
“The Social Life of Hmong Video.”
Bart Schneider
Magers and Quinn Booksellers
3038 Hennepin Ave. S, Mpls.
(612) 822-4611
Monday, March 13, 7 p.m.
Beautiful Inez, by Bart Schneider, is most
guys’ wet dream on paper. The novel follows
the love affair between Inez and Sylvia that
develops after Inez gives birth to her second
child and falls into a depression fueled by
her philandering husband. Both women are
musicians, and that passion brings them
together in this passionate story of love.
Café Scientifique: Organizing Life: A New
Evolution
The Varsity Theater
1308 4th St. SE, Mpls.
(612) 604-0222
Tuesday, March 14, 6 p.m.
Scott Lanyon, the director of the University’s
Bell Museum, will share his interest in
ecology and discuss behavior evolution, a
current media darling topic. The Varsity
Theater’s laidback atmosphere is sure to
be a good atmosphere for learning about
phylogenetics.
Feature
12
March 8, 2006
Kiki
Smith’s
A Gathering
exhibit
at The
Walker
Kiki
Smith’s
A Gathering
exhibit
at The
Walker
Center
a morbid
fairytale—part
horror,
ArtArt
Center
is aismorbid
fairytale—part
horror,
part
beauty.
part
beauty.
Smith
works
in an
impressive
number
of mediSmith
works
in an
impressive
number
of mediums.
From
terra
cotta
wax
sculptures
ums.
From
thethe
terra
cotta
andand
wax
sculptures
in in
first
rooms
of the
gallery
to the
installation
thethe
first
rooms
of the
gallery
to the
installation
drawings
at the
end,
forms
of expresandand
drawings
at the
end,
fewfew
forms
of expression
unrepresented
in this
show.
The
subject
sion
gogo
unrepresented
in this
show.
The
subject
matter
of her
work
is predominately
human
matter
of her
work
is predominately
thethe
human
body,
represented
either
a whole
in fragbody,
represented
either
as as
a whole
or or
in fragments.
A lithograph
of ears,
eyes,
other
ments.
A lithograph
of ears,
eyes,
andand
other
body
parts
stares
from
wall
a sculpture
body
parts
stares
from
oneone
wall
at aatsculpture
a woman
curled
in the
fetal
position
of aofwoman
curled
in the
fetal
position
onon
thethe
floor.
This
juxtaposition
leaves
viewers
torn
floor.
This
juxtaposition
leaves
viewers
torn
as as
to how
they
should
perceive
human
form.
to how
they
should
perceive
thethe
human
form.
A Gathering
showcases
Smith’s
from
A Gathering
showcases
Smith’s
artart
from
thethe
several
decades,
works
in no
lastlast
several
decades,
butbut
thethe
works
areare
in no
sense
dated.
Her
representations
of people
sense
dated.
Her
representations
of people
andand
animals
universal
enough
to be
understood
animals
areare
universal
enough
to be
understood
a number
of contexts.
Smith’s
words,
“It’s
in ainnumber
of contexts.
In In
Smith’s
words,
“It’s
something
that
everyone
their
own
authensomething
that
everyone
hashas
their
own
authenexperience
with.”
Some
of pieces
come
with
tic tic
experience
with.”
Some
of pieces
come
with
written
insights
about
intent
of the
artist,
written
insights
about
thethe
intent
of the
artist,
while
others
retain
their
ambiguity
openwhile
others
retain
their
ambiguity
andand
openness
to interpretation.
ness
to interpretation.
»
The Walker Showcases Kiki
Smith’s Body of Work
By Michael Mitchell &
Jenny Odegard
Smith’s
work
with
body
transcends
idea
Smith’s
work
with
thethe
body
transcends
thethe
idea
of conventional
beauty,
portraying
what
hides
of conventional
beauty,
portraying
what
hides
under
skin.
A series
of sketches
resembling
under
thethe
skin.
A series
of sketches
resembling
vital
organs,
a bronze
sculpture
titled
“Womb”
vital
organs,
a bronze
sculpture
titled
“Womb”
a rubber
mat
floor
with
large,
andand
a rubber
mat
onon
thethe
floor
with
200200
large,
crystal
sperm
a few
of the
works
in this
crystal
sperm
areare
a few
of the
works
in this
vein.
vein.
The
sperm
piece
(“Untitled”),
completed
The
sperm
piece
(“Untitled”),
completed
in in
1990,
provides
a unique
spin
AIDS
com1990,
provides
a unique
spin
onon
AIDS
commentary.
intent
is highlight
to highlight
dangers
mentary.
ItsIts
intent
is to
thethe
dangers
involved
with
transmission
of bodily
fluids,
involved
with
thethe
transmission
of bodily
fluids,
this
sort
of portrayal
a revolutionary
andand
this
sort
of portrayal
is aisrevolutionary
as-aspect
of Smith’s
pect
of Smith’s
art.art.
This
idea
of looking
under
skin
is also
seen
This
idea
of looking
under
thethe
skin
is also
seen
a number
of the
wax
sculptures.
of
in ainnumber
of the
wax
sculptures.
“A “A
pilepile
of fat
and flesh,”
says, referring
to Virgin
“The
andfatflesh,”
SmithSmith
says, referring
to “The
Virgin
Mary,” a sculpture
which isand
colored
Mary,”
a sculpture
which is colored
con- and
contoured
look
like muscle
toured
to looktolike
muscle
tissue.tissue.
While While
this is this
what
comes
to mind
when
think
of “the
notnot
what
comes
to mind
when
wewe
think
of “the
nude”
in the
sense,
this
horrifying
aspect
nude”
in the
artart
sense,
this
horrifying
aspect
of the
exhibit
does
force
a reevaluation
of the
of the
exhibit
does
force
a reevaluation
of the
body.
body.
Though
there
some
men
portrayed,
a majorThough
there
areare
some
men
portrayed,
a majorof the
sculptures
drawings
of female
ityity
of the
sculptures
andand
drawings
areare
of female
subjects.
“Men
more
reluctant
to take
their
subjects.
“Men
areare
more
reluctant
to take
their
clothes
off,”
says
artist,
providing
a simple
clothes
off,”
says
thethe
artist,
providing
a simple
answer
a question
that
was
aiming
a socioanswer
to atoquestion
that
was
aiming
at aatsociopolitical
undertone
in the
work.
Throughout
political
undertone
in the
work.
Throughout
thethe
guided
tour,
Smith
provided
commentary
guided
tour,
Smith
provided
commentary
onon
that
was
truthful
which
spoke
of her
herher
artart
that
was
truthful
andand
which
spoke
of her
personality,
politics.
personality,
notnot
herher
politics.
The
exhibit
begins
to morph
about
halfway
The
exhibit
begins
to morph
about
halfway
through,
when
Smith
says
was
“switching
through,
when
Smith
says
sheshe
was
“switching
between
abject
horror
to something
conbetween
abject
horror
artart
to something
constructed
care”
a reaction
a time
when
structed
onon
care”
as as
a reaction
to atotime
when
people
needed
to focus
more
care.
sheshe
feltfelt
people
needed
to focus
more
onon
care.
She
referred
to Martha
Stewart
someone
She
referred
to Martha
Stewart
as as
someone
who
enabled
to look
at life
“from
who
hashas
enabled
us us
to look
at life
“from
thethe
kitchen
out,”
a place
where
Smith
says
that
kitchen
out,”
a place
where
Smith
says
that
at- attitudes
behaviors
built.
Behaviors
that
titudes
andand
behaviors
areare
built.
Behaviors
that
supposed
to be
feminine,
motherly
qualities
areare
supposed
to be
feminine,
motherly
qualities
---- >>
www.wakemag.org
-->
(ex: kindness, caring), according to Smith,
(ex:
kindness,
caring),
according
to Smith,
should
be ideals
that everyone
strives
for.
should be ideals that everyone strives for.
The universality of Smith’s work is demonThe
universality
ofin
Smith’s
work
is demonstrated
poignantly
Smith’s
example
of the
strated
poignantly
Smith’s She
example
of the
Iraqi prison
tortureindisaster.
says that
vioIraqi
prison torture
disaster.
She in
says
violent, abusive
behavior
is learned
thethat
home,
lent,
behavior
is learned
home,
in theabusive
kitchen.
Her work
is meantintothe
point
the
in
the kitchen.
Her
work is
meant to
point the
onlooker’s
mind
towards
a higher
consciousonlooker’s
mind towards a higher consciousness of caring.
ness of caring.
Although Smith’s work does have a quality of
Although
Smith’s workshe
does
have
quality
social consciousness,
says
thata she
hadof
social
consciousness,
that she
had
been against
all of theshe
“90’ssays
activism”
and
esbeen
against
all of that
the “90’s
activism”
and
essentialist
thinking
defined
the time
during
sentialist
thinking
that defined
the time during
which most
of the work
was completed.
Instead,
which
of the work
was completed.
Instead,
Smith’smost
inspiration
and approach
is drawn
from
Smith’s
inspiration
and approach
is drawn from
her personal
experiences
and surroundings.
her
and in
surroundings.
She personal
began to experiences
focus on nature
her later works
She
began
towas
focus
on natureininnews
her about
later works
because
she
immersed
the
because
she was
immersed
in news
about the
disappearing
species
and their
habitats.
disappearing species and their habitats.
Her work with wax was derived from seeing
Her
workchocolates
with wax was
derived
intricate
made
in Italyfrom
and seeing
Germany,
intricate
chocolates
made in Italywith
andpaper
Germany,
and her initial
experimentations
and
initial
paper
wereher
rooted
inexperimentations
helping her fatherwith
construct
were
helping
paperrooted
modelsinfor
work.her
Herfather
focus construct
on the hupaper
models
for when
work.she
Herwas
focus
on the
hu- of
man form
began
given
a copy
man
form
began when
shewhen
was given
a copy of
Gray’s
Anatomy,
and later
she worked
Gray’s
Anatomy,
and of
later
she fairytale”
worked
as an EMT.
Her idea
thewhen
“morbid
as
an EMT.
Herfantasy
idea ofofthe
“morbid
fairytale”
came
from the
death
derived
from
came
frominthe
her work
thatfantasy
job. of death derived from
her work in that job.
The fairytale comes to life in the piece “DaughThe
comes to life
in the
piece
“Daughter,” fairytale
a reinterpretation
of the
classic
story
Little
ter,”
a reinterpretation
of the classic story
Little
Red Riding
Hood. The amalgamation
of a girl
Red
Riding
Hood.
amalgamation
a girl
and wolf
speaks
ofThe
Smith’s
realization of
that
a
and
speaks
realization
that
a
packwolf
of girls
can of
beSmith’s
much like
a pack of
wolves,
pack
of girls
can beThe
much
likeisapart
packofofa wolves,
just less
expected.
piece
larger
just
lessofexpected.
The
piece
is part of
a larger
portion
the exhibit
that
examines
nature
and
portion
of the construction
exhibit that examines
nature
and
the historical
of fairy tales,
using
the
historical
construction
fairy tales,
art to
retell and
redefine theofclassic
viewusing
of
art
to Red’s
retell and
the character.
classic view of
Little
“girlredefine
in distress”
Little Red’s “girl in distress” character.
Smith says that less is expected from girls and
Smith
sayslower
that less
is expected
from
girlsthing,
and
that those
standards
can be
a good
that
those
can be atogood
as they
canlower
allowstandards
girls and women
fulfillthing,
a
as
they canofallow
and
women
to fulfill
a
multitude
rolesgirls
and to
excel
by just
doing.
multitude
roles and to
by just
“Rapture,”of
a sculpture
of aexcel
woman
withdoing.
one foot
“Rapture,”
of a of
woman
with onewolf,
foot
embedded ainsculpture
the stomach
a conquered
embedded
in the
stomach
of a conquered
wolf,
explores how
Little
Red Riding
Hood can be
explores
how Little
Red
Riding wall,
Hooda can
be of
reinterpreted.
On the
opposite
series
reinterpreted.
On the
a series
of
life-sized drawings
thatopposite
feature wall,
women
carrying
life-sized
drawings
that feature
women
carrying
wolves over
their shoulders
lends
the onlooker
wolves
over idea
theirofshoulders
lends theor
onlooker
yet another
how the fairytale,
history
yet
another
ideamight
of how
fairytale, or history
for that
matter,
bethe
reconstructed.
for that matter, might be reconstructed.
This is at the center of Smith’s art — the idea
This
is at the
center
of Smith’s
— the at
idea
that there
is no
definitive
way ofart
looking
anythat
there
is nobedefinitive
looking
anything.
Art can
beautifulway
andofhorrific
atat
the
thing.
Art can be beautiful and horrific at the
same time.
same time.
Kiki Smith, “My Blue Lake”, 1995
photogravure and lithograph on mold-made
En Tout Cas paper; edition of 41
42-1/2 x 54-3/4 in.
Walker Art Center, Minneapolis;
T. B. Walker Acquisition Fund, 1996
Photo: Glenn Halvorson
Kiki Smith, “Blue Girl”, 1998
silicon bronze
figure: 36 x 19-1/2 x 22-1/2 in.
smallest starfish: 1/2 x 1/2 x 2-1/2 in.
largest starfish: 7 x 7 x 2-1/2 in.
installation dimensions variable
Courtesy Pace Wildenstein, New York
Photo: Ellen Page Wilson
Kiki Smith, “Honeywax”, 1995
beeswax, microcrystalline wax, and pigment
15-1/2 x 36 x 20 in.
Collection Milwaukee Art Museum;
Gift of Contemporary Art Society
Feature
13
14
Feature
Everyone here could kick my ass.
March 8, 2006
Feature
www.wakemag.org
15
PHOTOS BY BRENNAN VANCE
Stepping into the shoes of an amateur boxer.
 BY BRIAN TOLENTINO
gymnastics and in-line skating.
Boxing is for bone-headed lunatics. It is a
barbaric sport for numb-minded imbeciles who
release their aggression by fighting instead of
doing something normal like playing Halo, football or beer pong. Even Rocky says, “You would
be a moron to want to box.” So why do people
subject themselves to torture in an imprisoned
square where each person wallops the other for
three minute intervals? “It is a way of conquering
fear,” says Josh Murphy, sophomore sociology
and criminal deviance major at the U. He has
boxed for four months. “Once you get in that
ring, it is pretty much two guys beating the shit
out of each other. What in life can scare you after
that?”
Murphy is so fearless in a recent job interview he had a puffy eye and cut lip from sparring the night before. “They probably thought I
was in a street brawl,” Murphy says. He never
explained why his face was beaten. One reason
is the stigma people generally have about boxers
and the misconceptions many people have about
a sport they know little about.
Misconception #2: Boxing is unhealthy.
Boxing provides a magnificent workout
and is an effective way of losing weight. Murphy
played football and basketball in high school and
says “training for boxing has put me in the best
shape of my life.” Since Murphy started boxing
he has lost 28 pounds and is down to 165 pounds,
the ideal weight for him to box.
Boxing also promotes a person to shy away
from cigarettes and alcohol. “You can either
smoke and get your ass-handed to you in the
third round, or not smoke. It’s up to you,” Murphy says.
Misconception #1: Boxing is Dangerous
OK, boxing is slightly more dangerous than
wearing a $100 Polo Shirt and hitting a 9-iron.
But compared to other contact sports is it really
that dangerous? “You do get cut and bruised
boxing, but it is like any other sport,” Murphy
says. “You are going to get banged up in hockey,
football or just about anything you do.” In boxing you must wear headgear until you become a
professional. You must also wear a mouthpiece
and a shirt to absorb sweat and dirt. Women
must wear breast protectors. According to the
National Safety Council’s 1996 report, amateur
boxing had fewer injuries than hockey, soccer,
Misconception #3: Boxing takes no strategy
Boxing is more than swinging as hard as
you can at your opponent. Murphy’s coach compares boxing to a chess match. Every punch and
every block a boxer makes is orchestrated strategically to exploit his or her opponent, to put a
boxer in the best position to win.
Places to Box
I had always been interested in boxing, but
too lazy and afraid to actually try it. Here is what
my experience was like at two boxing gyms in
the Twin Cities.
Uppercut Boxing, Minneapolis
Introductory Class: free
I went to Uppercut Boxing Gym to find out
more about myself. I was a fighting virgin, and
it was time I saw the light. When I first walked
into Uppercut there was an overwhelming sound
of smacking boxing gloves, random yelling and
foul body odor. After I was shown where to wait
for my introductory class I underwent a terrify-
ing epiphany: Every single man and woman in
this building could kick my ass. While receiving
my revelation, a robust young lady covered in
boxing attire walked up to me. Was she going to
welcome me to her boxing gym? “Hey you,” she
said sternly, her mean tough boxing eyes staring
at me. “Next time don’t drag dirt in front of my
locker.” I said sorry like a little wuss. I wanted to
tell her to chill out, get off the roids and leave me
alone. But once again I remembered—she could
kick my ass.
Once the class started I felt comfortable.
My group had nine people ranging from college
students to middle-aged women. The first thing
we learned was the basic boxing stance and how
to hold your hands. Then we were taught the
four typical punches in boxing: the jab, cross,
hook and uppercut. The instructor of the class,
Lisa Bauch, was also the founder and owner of
the gym. She was blonde, about 5’7” and I was
confident she could kick my ass in less than
five seconds. After learning the basic moves, we
were given boxing gloves and punch mitts. I was
paired up with a 6-foot man who, for some reason, felt like his manhood was being challenged
on every punch. He grunted loudly after every
swing and a waterfall of sweat poured down his
face after about 20 seconds. Of course, I couldn’t
tell him to stop hitting me so hard. That would
reveal the truth: that I am a weakling and a wuss.
When it was my turn to punch, Bauch came over
and readjusted my punching position. In a nice,
subtle way she told me I was doing everything
wrong and that I sucked at boxing. Overall, I
had a good time and would recommend anyone
interested to try. Most people in the introduction class suck so you don’t have to feel self-conscious about being bad.
Analysis: Serious atmosphere. Ideal for someone who wants to competitively box. Can also be
used as a workout place, but it is expensive.
Gym Rates:
Single class after introduction class: $20
Six Classes $75 auto withdrawal $70
One Month Unlimited $128 auto withdrawal
$117
Three Months Unlimited $320
Six Months Unlimited $585
One Year Unlimited $1070
West Side Boxing, Eden Prairie
Introductory Class: free
West Side boxing is nestled in the middle of
suburbia, meaning the clientele is different than
at Uppercut. Most boxers are high school age
boys and girls, some college students, and some
older persons. When I first arrived at West Side,
I immediately received one-on-one assistance
in the proper boxing stance and the four basic
punches. After, I participated in drills with the
regular boxers. I was matched up with a short,
blonde girl about 17 years old and we continuously boxed at three-minute intervals for an entire hour. After doing drills everyone united in a
circle and did pushups and sit-ups for ten minutes and then practice was over.
Analysis: West Side Boxing has a relaxed
atmosphere and is a great place for someone
who may be intimidated by more serious gyms.
Many of its members are looking for a good
workout, not necessarily to box competitively.
Gym Rates:
Single Class: $15
Monthly one class per week $49 Autopay $44
Monthly Unlimited $90 Autopay $75
Registration fee of $39 includes: Hand wraps,
mouth guard and a white West Side boxing
shirt.
16
Voices
March 8, 2006
illustration by jeremy sengly
America on
a Barbed
Wire Fence
Voices
www.wakemag.org
17
Photo Poll with the members of Tapes ‘n Tapes
Is censorship ever justified?
Josh • vocals, guitar
Jeremy • drums
Shawn • keys, horns
Matt • bass, vocals
No, I don’t believe in censorship. I think people should be
their own censors, but should be more proactive in doing so.
I mean, come one…we’re all adults here.
Agreed.
I think censorship is appropriate in some cases, like with
stuff geared for children. There have to be some boundaries or else the Saturday morning cartoons will just turn
into animated pornos.
As a society, I think we should replace censorship with
friendship, and justification with fornication. So to
answer your question with question, is friendship ever
fornication?
The unwillingness of the U.S.
Government to end illiteracy
TOM MCNAMARA
It has been fifteen years since the United
States’ government has seriously discussed illiteracy in America. President George W. Bush’s
recent “No Child Left Behind” campaign hinted
at the issue, but turned out to be merely a slogan to gain votes instead of a solution to help
Americans. It was in fact during George H.W.
Bush’s administration in the early 1990s that
modern America was introduced to its startling
illiteracy problem. In 1991, Congress passed
the National Literacy Act to put an end to illiteracy in America. The bill states that “[in 1991]
nearly 30,000,000 adults in the United States
have serious problems with literacy.” Over ten
years later in 2003, The National Assessment of
Adult Literacy (NAAL) did an extensive survey
of American literacy rates. The findings, which
were finally released in December of 2005, found
little change between 1991 and 2003. On Dec. 15,
2005, Mark Schneider, the commissioner of the
National Center for Education Statistics, said in
response to the 2003 literacy survey that roughly “30 million Americans cannot do much more
than sign a form or search a simple document to
find out what they are allowed to drink before
a medical test.” In other words, the National
Literacy Act of 1991 failed—nothing substantial
changed in over ten years. Nothing changed because the institution of America needs illiterate
people in order to exist. Though America calls
itself a democracy, its capitalist ideologies cre-
ate inequality in not only class, but in literacy
as well. For that reason, literacy campaigns will
never succeed in the United States if they are
sponsored by the American government—look
no further than the failure of the 1991 National
Literacy Act for evidence. Moreover, the U.S.
government—Republican and Democrat—does
not want total literacy.
According to Paulo Freire’s article “The
Adult Literacy Process as Cultural Action for
Freedom and Education,” the flaw of institutionalized literacy campaigns in un-egalitarian societies or, in the case of the United States, government run literacy campaigns is that “[m]erely
teaching men to read and write does not work
miracles; if there are not enough jobs for men
able to work, teaching more men to read and
write will not create them.” If applied to the
United States, Freire’s contention provides two
reasons as to why the Literacy Act of 1991 failed
and why future literacy acts will fail too.
Firstly, in terms of illiterates or poorly functioning literates improving their ability to read,
write and comprehend, there is no incentive. In
a capitalist society, if you are one of these below
basic functioning literates or non-literates, then
even if you do improve your literacy level it does
not mean that your quality of life will improve
(e.g. class status, job, etc.). In the same article,
Freire gives an example of what a Latin American adult literacy primer would be like:
Peter did not know how to read. Peter
was ashamed. One day, Peter went
to school and registered for a night
course. Peter’s teacher was very good.
Peter knows how to read now. Look
at Peter’s face. [These lessons are
generally illustrated.] Peter is smiling.
He is a happy man. He already has a
good job. Everyone ought to follow his
example.
This example is not that different from how
an American adult literacy primer would look.
However, the problem with this model is that it
is idealistic and far from the truth. In reality, Peter may be able to read, but how will that translate into a job in capitalist America? Peter has
no work experience other than being a low-level
worker his entire life. He does not have references. He does not have a college degree. He
may not even have a high school degree. With
this in mind, how is Peter going to make the big
bucks that his learning-to-read primer promised
him? Peter cannot even take out a loan to start
his own business because he does not have any
credit history on the account that he just recently
learned how to create a savings account and apply for a credit card. As a result, the now literate
Peter is in the same place as he was when he was
illiterate. Only now, Peter has the tools—reading, writing and comprehension—to realize the
full extent of his situation.
Peter’s ability to identify his oppressor,
though he probably had a good idea as to who
he was before, has armed Peter. This is the second reason the Literacy Act of 1991 failed. As of
2003, according to the NAAL America has approximately eleven million adults that are illiterate in English, thirty million adults that are bellow basic prose literacy and sixty-three million
adults that are at the basic literacy level (which,
as defined by the NAAL, means “…they are able
to perform simple literacy activities such as understanding information in a pamphlet for prospective jurors.”).
Now, imagine if the National Literacy Act
of 1991 worked and these roughly 104 million
low functioning literates could now perform at
the same level as those with intermediate or
proficient literacy skills in America (which, according to the NAAL, is roughly 123 million
adults)—America would be in chaos. In the United States’ capitalist society, there would not be
enough middle class or upper class space. Those
who would end up in the lower class of the country would have the training, education, ability
and, most importantly, the right to be in a higher
class level according to the general American
ideology of privilege—those who work hard and
are deserving will live well. In an America where
a literacy campaign is successful, this will not be
the case. Instead, the lower class will justifiably
claim their right to the American good life with
their newly obtained education and act when
the American government is unable to produce
due to the constraints of capitalism. A successful literacy campaign in the United States would
domino a social revolution—American capitalism would be attacked by the masses.
The institution of America—the white upper class and its government—must protect itself at all cost. Therefore, the National Literacy
Act of 1991 was intended to fail from the beginning. If Cuba, an underdeveloped country, was
able to eradicate illiteracy in one year in 1961,
then why could the American government—the
most powerful nation in world history—not end
illiteracy in ten years? The answer: either America is inferior to Cuba or America is intentionally
oppressing a considerable amount of its people
in order to protect capitalism. What would the
American government rather admit to? Unfortunately, the question will never be asked until the
majority of 123 million highest functioning literates are willing to risk their class status.
Tom McNamara is a Voices staff writer and welcomes comments at letters@wakemag.org
Voices
March 8, 2006
illustration by miranda peterson
18
Freedom of Illustration
One journalism student defends freedom of the press
Sarah E. Bauer
In the past few weeks we all have heard of and
possibly seen a series of cartoons published by the
Danish paper, Jyllands-Posten. The set of 12 cartoons, depicting the Islamic prophet Muhammad
in various scenes was published by the paper on
Sept. 30, 2005, after a Danish author complained he
could not find an illustrator for his children’s book
about the Prophet.
The Copenhagen Post wrote: “Jyllands-Posten
called for and printed the cartoons by various Danish illustrators, after reports that artists were refusing to illustrate works about Islam, out of fear of
fundamentalist retribution. The newspaper said it
printed the cartoons as a test of whether Muslim
fundamentalists had begun affecting the freedom
of expression in Denmark.”
Upon viewing them, I found at least four of
the cartoons to be overtly offensive toward Muslims (or anyone). The cartoon that has received
the most criticism features Muhammad with a lit
bomb in his turban. All of the cartoons however,
regardless of their intent, are viewed as offensive
by Muslims, since all depictions of Muhammad are
explicitly prohibited by Islamic tradition.
This situation seems simple: Denmark’s secular government respects press freedom and therefore the paper has the right to publish whatever editorial content they want to, right? I don’t think so.
The press in democratic, secular countries
that value freedom of expression should publish
everything that it sees fit to fulfill its mission and responsibility to the public; to act as a watchdog over
government, to inform the citizenry and to inspire
and provoke discussion.
Freedom of the press grants an important institution a great amount of power; but this power
requires great responsibility.
The Muhammad cartoon situation is complex. It is a massive train wreck of government,
religion, freedom and culture. And I do not see a
clear-cut answer to the problem that these cartoons
present.
On one hand, it appears that, at least the original publication of the cartoons was an exercise in
press freedom. Jyllands-Posten wanted to test the
waters; to see if in an environment of change they
could print potentially offensive material without
being hauled into court and prosecuted (and they
weren’t).
On the other hand, it seems that the paper
acted with intent to offend an entire portion of the
country’s population. Simply creating the image
of Muhammad is offensive to Muslims. However,
non-Muslims have a hard time understanding this
concept. The publication of such images must have
a context; readers must develop a better understanding of the religion and culture of Islam before
they can pass judgment on them.
Could Jyllands-Posten possibly predict that
their cartoons would spark violence in many Muslim countries resulting in the deaths of nearly 150
people or the destruction of Danish embassies in
several cities? I doubt it, but they had to understand that the cartoons would be very offensive to
some. It is any paper’s responsibility to know their
audience, to anticipate possible reactions to their
content and to minimize the possible harm that will
be caused by publication.
The paper eventually apologized, stating that
the cartoons had been taken out of context.
I do not think that anyone will emerge from
this debacle a winner. Papers that have reprinted
the cartoons have been severely criticized, some
fundamentalist Islamic leaders have called for a
“Holocaust” cartoon contest as a rebuttal to the
Muhammad cartoons, and thousands of Muslims
have rose up in violence.
Censoring the press or imposing sanctions
for publishing the cartoons is not the answer. But,
neither is violence. Acting out violently simply perpetuates the stereotypes that some of the most offensive cartoons depict.
While the international press wielded great
power during the past months, demonstrating that
they will not be restrained by either government
or religion when publishing editorial content, a
small and not necessarily representative portion
of a growing population of Muslims rose up in violence, demonstrating that they have power as well.
However, I don’t agree that either group, waving
paper or guns, has acted with responsibility in this
situation.
Good journalism is supposed to spark discussion, but all I’ve heard is yelling.
Sarah E. Bauer is a Voices guest columnist and welcomes comments at letters@wakemag.org
Sound&Vision
www.wakemag.org
19
Detonating
on the Fly
Improvised Explosive
Device create
audiovisual in real time
at the Southern Theater
 BY erin belling
Amidst an intricate network of cables, switches, laptops and blinking lights, VJ Neverwas leans
over and picks up a very low-tech, half-empty Culligan water jug. The microphone captures the faintest taps and rattles as Neverwas delicately explores
the clear plastic with his fingers, testing its percussive potential. What begins as curiously crisp and
hesitant consideration of the container’s surface
quality, seamlessly melds into an enchanting swell
of deep tribal beats. Every slap and every slosh is
then fed into a soundboard where electronic musician James Patrick recombines and loops them
into a larger, shadowy sculpture of sound. It’s
suddenly clear that every tap, every slosh, every
accident, and every intention encountered during
this performance was meant to be absorbed, experienced and appreciated.
This opening piece embodied everything unexpected and vulnerable that an improvised performance entails. The audience was adequately
primed for Improvised Explosive Device’s very
unique brand of real-time audio-visual experimentation. This Minneapolis collaboration of artists
has been described as a “spontaneous visual and
aural remix of microhouse grooves, surrealistic
dream cinema, and virtuosic skronk funk that
has not been seen or heard anywhere before.”
Their groundbreaking approach redefines music
by combining electronics with acoustics, found
sounds and imagery in a strange brew of conventional rhythms and conceptual sound and video
structures.
The collaboration showcases film artist and
musician VJ Neverwas on laptop imagery and guitar, Electropolis’s Michael Ferrier on tenor sax and
various electronic devices, James Patrick on laptop
manipulations and live mix, improvisational video
photos by brennan vance
artist Mark Henrickson on Jitter (a very techy realtime editing software), Chris Bates on bass, and
Greg Schutte on drums. Together they create an
ebb and flow of beats and dreamscapes that teeter
between tempo and ambience. Henrickson describes IED as an “opportunity to explore sound
and image spaces that we otherwise wouldn’t have
a chance to explore.”
Explorations at the Southern Theater performance included a recut of Leonard Bernstein’s
West Side Story, in which the film was remixed into
a melodic frame-by-frame analysis of its hypnotically precise and electrifying choreography. Other, slightly more horrifying incarnations included
a piece juxtaposing footage of American soldiers
escorting a family from their home at gunpoint
with an equally terrifying clip from TV’s “Trading
Spouses,” in which “Mom” screams with murderous buck-toothed rage in the name of Jesus.
According to Neverwas, the fusion of live video and musical performance is not only progressive but necessary. “It is important not to separate
them,” he says. A pattern of sound vibrations and
a pattern of light photons both have the same
power to evoke emotional reactions if executed in
the right combinations. IED’s imagery and sound
mixtures are engrossing and provocative, a loaded
amalgamation in the vein of what Neverwas describes.
The name of the group has been subject to
some controversy among individuals with a deep
seated anger about the events of the last two to
three years. To name your band Improvised Explosive Device, after a homemade bomb designed
to cause death or injury, most certainly has many
contemporary connotations that are genuinely
upsetting. But the group’s performances are very
much a plea for peace and understanding. Neverwas sees the public’s response to these three
words as a sort of lingual acid test, and looks forward to a world in which the band’s title sounds
outdated and irrelevant. “I’ll do anything I can
to bring down the current situation in a peaceful
way,” Neverwas says.
IED also performed at this year’s Spark festival. If you were not fortunate enough to catch
them this month, keep an eye out for them at local
gallery shows in April.
20
Sound & Vision
March 8, 2006
The Pines
Warm Up the
Cedar Cultural
Center
 BY NICK UPTON
Despite the weather, a full house braved
the frigid temperatures on Feb. 17 to see The
Pines at the Cedar Cultural Center. The venue,
as always, had an intimate feel and the weather
outside only made it warmer. The bartenders
told jokes about bartenders and the crowed
milled around with steaming cups of tea and cider. Conversations about the weather filled the
chilly concert hall until the first note was heard
from the opening act, The Spaghetti Western
String Company.
The avant-garde ensemble wowed new and
old fans alike with their unique style. The band,
which defies an easy definition, played a mix of
folk, jazz and bluegrass which erred towards the
baroque. The musical dynamics of the awardwinning group were phenomenal. Each of the
musicians had a simple, rhythmic part while the
lead drifted among banjo, mandolin, violin and
the occasional guitar. The band, which has a
history of writing film scores, was very skilled
at creating a mood. “The Theme of Red Balloon”
featured a driving banjo part and time changes
that mimicked the bouncy, floating feeling of the
red balloon. The nearly all-acoustic performance
was punctuated with one startling beautiful vocal song, titled “Luna Marinara.” Like the band’s
name, the song was a nod to founding member
Mike Rossetto’s Italian heritage. The mandolin
player, Nick Lemme, sang the operatic tune with
such resonance it sent chills up my spine. The
quartet ended the set with an eerie song that
made use of strange distorted vocals via an old
baby monitor.
After an intermission of praise for The
Spaghetti Western and more hot tea, The Pines
took over the stage and thanked their friends
“The Spaghetti O’s.” The bands have played
together and collaborated for several years
on albums and in concert. “The Pine Nuts,”
as Rossetto affectionately named them, were
the perfect foil for The Spaghetti Western and
warmed up the crowd with a foot tapping, bluesy sound. David Huckfelt and Benson Ramsey
expanded beyond their normal duo with an onstage accordion and piano player and Ramsey’s
little brother on keyboard. The Pines, who are
signed to the Iowa-based Trailer Records, are
a mix of bluesy grooves and folk influences.
Ramsey’s raspy vocals lend an ethereal feel to
the band’s mostly bittersweet love songs. The
band strayed from their normal low-fi, high-energy shows with the extra two members. The
change would have been a disappointment, but
the additional musicians helped create the wall
of sound that The Pines normally achieve with
a faster rhythm and more distortion. The set
sounded more like the band’s studio albums
and less like their boozy bar shows. The slower pace made it easier to meditate on the poignant lyrics and song writing. The foot-tapping
rhythm made songs reminiscent of Nick Cave
romance and somber folk music easier to swallow. And somehow the band made their rendition of “You Are My Sunshine” sound somber
with a slow, waltz rhythm.
Midway through the set The Spaghetti
Western came back on stage and performed a
collection of songs with The Pines. The two wildly different styles combined flawlessly showing
the members history of collaboration and fantastic stage dynamics.
PHOTos by nick upton
Above: Spaghetti Western String Co. Below: The Pines
Sound & Vision
www.wakemag.org
21
Attention: Local
Filmmakers
Your red carpet is waiting
Film fans and filmmakers—opportunity has
officially knocked. I recently attended the third
offering of “Fearless Filmmakers” and was not
only blown back by the quality of the local films
shown but also by the potential connections
available to those who attend. Hobnobbing at
the after-party were directors, producers, actors
and investors of all levels. I’d call this a once-ina-lifetime opportunity, except it’ll be happening
once a month.
Project Spotlight’s aim is
to give the Hollywood VIP
feel right here in Minnesota.
And I can testify that they’re
doing a good job.
“Fearless Filmmakers” is an event put on
at the end of each month by Project Spotlight, a
local non-profit group “dedicated to enhancing
the lifestyle of creative artists within fashion,
film, music and arts.” These guys are passionate
about creating opportunities for people working
hard in their respective arts and “Fearless Filmmakers” is just one of the ways they’re showing
that passion. According to founders Sasha Patel and Bobby Marsden, it’s about creating “an
event, a party to celebrate and honor local” filmmakers. Their aim is to give the Hollywood VIP
feel right here in Minnesota. And I can testify
South by Southwest
Sound and Vision would like to congratulate the following Minnesota acts for their
upcoming appearances at this year’s South
By Southwest Music Festival:
Atmosphere
Brother Ali
Coach Said Not To
The Deaths
DeeJayBird
Dropping
Daylight
Hockey Night
Dan Israel
Kill the Vultures
Los Nativos
The Magnolias
Mark Mallman
Metallagher
Tim O’Reagan
The Owls
Plastic Constellations
P.O.S.
Solid Gold
Sukpatch
Tapes ‘n Tapes
Luke Zimmerman
that they’re doing a good job.
The evening starts with showings of locally
produced short films and/or music videos. The
short films (and one music video) that I saw offered up WWII action, vampires, stop-motion animation and a comedy involving a cynical cupid.
Each was amazingly well-done from a technical
standpoint and equally entertaining; something
for everyone. There were also some memorable
performances, especially considering the microbudgeted nature of these films.
But that’s just the start. The night ends with
a posh after-party where local film fans and aspiring filmmakers can meet the cast and crew of
each film and network with other like-minded individuals. At the event I attended, champagne and
free appetizers flowed like wine (if in fact that’s
possible) and a wide range of tunes were spun.
For $10, plus whatever you drink, this was a fun
and not-too-expensive way to spend a night out.
The short films and one
music video offered up WWII
action, vampires, stopmotion animation and a
comedy involving a cynical
cupid.
Project Spotlight is looking for short films
from university students, especially at the University of Minnesota. Patel and Marsden know
the U has plenty of aspiring filmmakers and
they’d love to see some quality work submitted.
They admit they can’t show everything that’s
submitted, but the members of Project Spotlight
want to help young filmmakers make their movies the best they can be and will try to find a venue for them and maximize the audience. That
kind of opportunity is, at the very least, worth
looking into. Young Scorsese, find some quality
equipment and get shooting. Minnesota may not
be Hollywood but there are still ways of getting
a low-budget epic to the masses.
Check out project-spotlight.com for the next
event. Films can be submitted to films@projectspotlight.com.
BY ALEX AMEND
 BY chris wilson
22
Bastard
March 8, 2006
This Week in UofM History
• March 10, 1899 •
On the eve of the coldest tenth day of March in the university’s relatively short existence, second year
agriculture student Mort Bellows found himself locked inside the U’s chicken coup with 450 other
chickens. Despite hours of bellows, Bellows was faced with the grave possibility of freezing to death.
In a panicked fit of stupidity, Bellows stripped himself naked and tried to warm himself with the 450
chickens. However, once Mort let the chickens out of their cages, a local resident opened the barn
door, setting loose all the chickens. Authorities tried to round up the escaped chickens, but gave up
after a few hours because they didn’t really give a shit.
Website of the Issue
youtube.com/watch?v=NwcLdCT3IsI
Dear W
ake,
You su
ck. Qu
it prin
so mu
ting. I
ch.
hate y
ou
Signed
,
Jason
Shnee
bly
Sopho
more,
Undec
ide
Dear Wake,
d
Dear Wake,
ma and you
You killed my grand
, you bascar
ur
yo
th
hit me wi
such terall
tards. Why are you
rible people?
Yours Truly,
Isabella Smith
ed
Freshman, Undecid
Ummm… I
saw you at
the Dinkytowner la
st weekend,
and I
thought you
were pretty
cute.
Do you have
a girlfriend
or a
boyfriend?
I have both,
but I’m
willing to pa
rt ways wit
h either if
you’re intere
sted. Give m
e a call
if you’re inte
rested.
Waiting for
your reply,
Pat Moshman
so
Junior, Chem n
istry
ake,
Dear W
eral
hed sev
u publis were in
o
y
k
e
e
ought
Last w
looking
that I th
pictures …. Oh wait, I’m .
e
k
te
a
s
The W
poor ta
se, not
u
o
th
n
e
at P
,
My bad
rkunden r
U
e
c
n
La
so
t Profes logy
n
Assista
io
B
f
o
t
n
e
Departm
Bastard
www.wakemag.org
23
BY HILARY FALK
Want Ads
WANTED:
My car not to be covered with
flyers for nightclubs when I park in
Dinkytown.
WANTED:
To put flyers all over the cars of
nightclub owners to see how
they like it … I hate those fucking
flyers.
WANTED:
A yellow submarine. Contact: The
Beatles (the remaining Beatles,
that is)
WANTED:
To get the song “What a Girl Wants”
out of my head … NOW!!!
WANTED:
A cell phone that doesn’t need a
battery charger, because it won’t
rely on batteries, but rather a
complex system of pulleys …
The pulleys, however, will need a
charger.
WANTED:
A cure for the common cold,
preferably a cure that doesn’t give
you malaria.
WANTED:
A shotgun that shoots the little
flag, like on cartoons. Except this
flag will be filled with biological
weapons.
WANTED:
A monkey that knows how to waltz
well. Quite well. In fact, it doesn’t
even need to be a monkey ... Wait,
yes, the monkey part is essential.
WANTED:
I guess it doesn’t have to be a
monkey. A dog would suffice. But
I severely doubt a dog knows how
to waltz well. I mean, come on, it
stands on all four legs.
The Hidden Eye
wakemag.org/content/blogs/hiddeneye
Saturday, March 4, 2006 • 5:14 PM • Posted by Kristen Mueller
Globalization: Raping Women
and the Earth
After two hours of recharging on the
couch, the ring of my phone drags me
upstairs. Allie invites me to International Women’s Day at Coffman Union.
Let’s see -- should I go back to researching online while a girl backflips
off a balance beam on TV, or listen to
a bunch of kick-ass activists illuminate the myriad of crimes happening
today and what we can do to start
righting the wrongs?
The choice was easy.
While getting dressed I jumped,
flailed and generally rocked around
my room to No Doubt. (I’m just a girl,
lucky me ... Hell yea!) It seemed like
the appropriate, feminist, thing to do.
Lining Coffman’s Great Hall were
rows of tables holding buttons and
brochures for pro-choice, pro emergency contraceptive, pro-empowerment and pro-female action groups.
At 2:45, Allie and I hiked up three
flights of stairs for a session titled
“Latina Women Respond to Globalization.” Seated around a board table,
Rosita Balch, Susana de Leon, and
Teresa Oritz gave candid accounts of
the devestation globalization—fueled
by giant American corporations, like
Coca Cola—has wreaked on Colombia
and Mexico, their respective homelands. It was a literal tearjerker,
exposing the world outside the cocoon
many of us live in. Here are a few
things they each had to say:
Rosita: In Colombia, women must
constantly fight for their lives. Their
biggest enemy? Greed and control of
resources. Not to mention the men
who rape, abuse, and then stigmatize them for having being raped and
abused. Schools and hospitals don’t
offer vital resources or are shut
down. Girls are targeted and commercialized by the fashion and food industries, which tell them to be pretty and
cute and sweet. (Sound familiar?)
Women are fighting back. They’ve
started co-ops to plant potatos and
corn and fruit instead of strictly coffee and flowers (to export). They’re
teaching girls arts and theater and
humanity, programs chopped from
schools. Yes, it’s a start. But without worldwide acknowledgement of
the social costs of living in a global,
consumer, corporate-run society, the
future is grim. Help fight for basic human rights. Visit the Resource Center
of the Americas for organizations that
need help.
Susana: The control of human labor
is the basis of slavery. It’s a radical
idea, but people have the right to their
humanity. Women have the power to
question others’ politics. Everything
we do here has a resonance in the
world.
On Minnesota’s Immigrants: We’re
being hounded by Governor Pawlenty.
We can’t call the police when our husbands hit us, because we don’t want
them to be deported. Condemning and
shunning immigrants is nothing short
of blaming the rape victim for being
raped.
On Resource Exploitation: Water
power is being harnessed and exported from rivers. “I grew up bathing in
the river. There is no river now.”
Teresa: The northern and southern
Mexican borders are buffer zones for
privitization and globalization, where
women are trapped, assasinated and
used for prostitution. Human beings
are treated as commodities; commodities that can be thrown away
when every last use has been wrung
from them. Corporations supersede
Mexican law. That is what globalization does.
Words on a screen don’t begin to
convey the amount of suffering these
women expressed today. Nor do
they illuminate every dire impact of
globalization, fueld by corporate—and
American—greed. But hopefully these
words will make you think. Maybe
you’ll choose not to buy a Coke the
next time your thirsty. Maybe you’ll
shop at a thrift store or buy locally
grown food. Maybe you’ll talk to the
hmong woman on the bus, without
just asking her what country she’s
from and if she speaks English. Maybe
you’ll even click on the link above and
read about some of the organizations
that desperately need your help. Or
maybe you’ll just e-mail this message
to a friend, and raise awareness for
others’ plight.