Family Ministries Department
T h em e :
“Kingdom Ideals For Family Togetherness”
Resource Manual 2014 -2018 |Family Ministries Department
Pastor Roy Dennis Family Ministries Director
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Table of Contents
Family Ministries Department……………………………………………………3
Vision and Mission Statement…………………………………………………….3
Strategic Issues………………………………………………………………………4
Yearly Themes………………………………………………………………………..4
Effective Family Ministries in the Church……………………………………….5
Duties – Family Ministries Leader…………………………………………………5-6
Duties of the Officers………………………………………………………………...6
Approaches to Family Ministries………………………………………………….7
Planning the Programme…………………………………………………………..8
Family Units…………………………………………………………………………..9
Family Worship……………………………………………………………………….10-11
Men’s Ministries………………………………………………………………………12-16
Marriage Enrichment Groups……………………………………………………...17-19
Ten Commandments of Constructive Confrontation………………………….20
Family Budget…………………………………………………………………………21-22
Singles Ministries………………………………………………………………………23-32
FM Resource Materials……………………………………………………………….33
Goals and Action Plan 2015………………………………………………………….34
Calendar of Events…………………………………………………………………….35
Report Form……………………………………………………………………………36
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FAMILY MINISTRIES DEPARTMENT
The Families Ministries Department of the Central Jamaica Conference recognizes the value of
quality family life both among Seventh-day Adventist members and non-members alike. The
family is defined as “The basic structural and functional unit of society.” If the families are not
well then the church and the society will be in trouble. Therefore creating and engendering
family wellness is of utmost importance to the Family Ministries Department and every family
member must be included in this plan.
“Our work for Christ is to begin with the family in the home. By many this home field has been
shamefully neglected and it is time that the divine resources and remedies were presented, that
this state of evil may be corrected.” (Testimonies for the Church. Vol6, pp. 429,430).
Conference Vision Statement
“Every member transformed and anchored in the body of Christ in readiness
for His imminent return.”
Conference Mission Statement
“To proclaim the Everlasting gospel by impacting communities and preparing
people in Central Jamaica Conference for Christ’s imminent return.”
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Strategic Initiative
The action plan of the Family Ministries Department has been developed in tandem with
the six strategic issues that governs the operations of the Central Jamaica Conference
for the next four years.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
Spiritual Growth and Unity
Integrated Evangelism and Discipleship
Quality of life and Community Impact
Stewardship and Development
Education and Training
Youth Empowerment
The focus of the Family Ministries Department this quadrenium is on Family
Togetherness. The Theme for the quadrenium is: Kingdom Ideals For Family
Togetherness.
Yearly Themes:
2015
Kingdom Ideals For Family Togetherness
2016
Creating A Caring Home
2017
Healing In The Home
2018
Families Together Forever
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Effective Family Ministries
in the Church
By Pastor Roy Dennis
Family Ministries Director, CJC
The Families Ministries Department of the Central Jamaica Conference recognizes the
value of quality family life both among Seventh-day Adventist members and nonmembers alike. The family is defined as “The basic structural and functional unit of
society.”
If the families are not well then the church and the society will be in trouble. Therefore
creating and engendering family wellness is of utmost importance to the Family
Ministries Department and every family member must be included in this plan.
“Our work for Christ is to begin with the family in the home. By many this home field
has been shamefully neglected and it is time that the divine resources and remedies
were presented, that this state of evil may be corrected.” (Testimonies for the Church,
Vol. 6, pp. 429,430)
DUTIES OF THE FAMILY MINISTRIES LEADER
The major functions and tasks of the Family Ministries Coordinator are the following:
1. Needs assessment. Work with pastor to survey the needs of the church: Couples, Singe
persons, single parents, children, teens, young adults, mature adults, etc., finding which
topics are of interest to them. Needs assessment tools such as survey questionnaires
and analysis worksheets are available in some of the resource materials listed in this
leaflet and from your local Conference office. Your Conference family ministries director
may be able to assist you.
2. Programme Development. The family ministries coordinator works in cooperation
with other church leaders to implement family life programmes. This involves planning,
promotion, recruitment and training of volunteers, delivery of the programmes and
evaluation. Although a number of very detailed and “user-friendly” programme helps are
available, successful programmes still require considerable attention to detail, good
organization and strong communication for many weeks in advance.
3. Chairs the Family Ministries Committee. It is recommended that even in the smallest
congregations a committee be selected for family ministries instead of following the
tradition of making it a one-person assignment. Family ministry is about relationships and
helping people learn to be Christlike in their relationships. This needs to be modeled in a
group setting because it is “caught as much as it is taught.” Even if the committee only
meets once a quarter and includes people who holds other offices in the church, it
should become a support group as well as a working unit. As chairperson it is your
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responsibility not only to put together an agenda and moderate the discussions but to
facilitate times of personal sharing, prayer and learning
4. Family Advocate. The family ministries coordinator sits on the church board and should
represent the need and concerns of family life there. It is easy for a board to become
involved in the organizational and financial issues of the church and forget that
congregations are essentially clusters of household; people trying to live out their faith
together. It is your responsibility to help the board keep in view the relational needs of
the member of the church and make family life a real priority in all that the church does.
5. Information Source. The congregation will depend on you as a primary source of
information about ministry. It would be a good idea for you to begin to construct a list
Christian counselors to whom you can feel confident making referrals. You will want to
guard against getting too involved in “playing psychologist” (unless you are one), but
highly developed listening skills will make it easy for other church member to share their
concerns and needs with you and ask for information. This informational task include
taking opportunity regularly, during personal ministries time or Sabbath School or
worship, to share information with the whole congregation as it comes to you from the
Conference in resource materials.
Duties of Officers
 Chair Family Life Committee
 Identify target groups for Family Ministries
 Needs Assessments
 Provide Bible Based Family Life Education & Training
 Provide or identify means for Professional Family Counseling
 Programme Development
 Cooperate with the Conference to implement Family Ministries Emphasis
Programmes
 Family Advocate
 Information Source
 (Seventh-day Adventist Church Manual, 2005, p.141)
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Approaches to Family Ministries
The form the Family Ministries Department takes will be determined by the overall
goals of the church, the felt needs of the congregation and the community, and the
resources available. Three approaches may be used:

Education

Enrichment

Counseling
A. Education
Bible based Family Life Education is one of the key strategies of the Family
Ministries Department. Churches should structure Family Education in the
preaching services, nightly meetings, Sabbath School programmes, A.Y.
programmes Bible class etc. Study groups, workshops, seminars and lending
libraries are some additional ways to include Family Life Education.
B. Enrichment
This is the process of enhancing the family relationship through better
communication, deeper understanding, and increased ability to resolve anger and
conflict and other family issues. Married persons, parents, singles, children, men,
women, seniors, disabled, the church family and all parts of the family system must
be included. Couples retreat, conventions, clubs and seminars can foster
enrichment to the various groups in the family system.
C. Counseling
There is an emerging and increasing need for professional Family Counseling.
Don’t play counselor unless you truly are! Counseling is a specialized work where
families are assisted in resolving long-term and short-term personal and relational
problems. When there is such a need the services of the Pastor, Professional
Counselors in the congregation or community or the Conference’s Counseling
Department (Elder Anthony Gordon, Director) must be sought.
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Planning the Programme
The key to a successful Family Ministries programme in the local church includes:

A definition of needs

A specific target audience

Adequate planning

Quality communication with the target audience

Connecting Family Ministries to the whole church programme.
(Starting a Family Ministry Programme, 2006).
A successful programme speaks to peoples’ needs. Where are people in the
congregation and in the community feeling their greatest need right now? How many are
interested in parenting skills, grief recovery, divorce recovery, coping with single life and
strengthening family worship? When the needs are ascertained then plans should be put
in place to use available resources to meet the needs.
The plans of the department must be developed including the Family Ministries
programme of the Conference. In addition to these Conference programmes, others
are to be developed to meet the special needs of each local congregation.
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Family Units
 Nuclear Families – with Mom, Dad and children who were born to this Mom
and Dad.
 Extended Families – Grandparents, mother, father, children, uncles, aunts, cousins
 Stepfamilies – sometimes called “blended.” Stepfamilies are formed when parents
are divorced or are widowed and remarry. Some become stepfamilies when an
unmarried parent marries someone who is not the father/mother of his/her child.
 Single Individuals – Sometimes “just me and the cat” – living alone. They may be
divorced, widowed or never married, but the household is a separate entity. Some
singles may live with other singles in one household.
 Single Parent Families – This may occur when a parent is divorced or widowed
and has not remarried or is a parent who has never married.
 “Empty Nest Families” – Mom and Dad when the kids leave home.
 Re-attached Families – When adult children come back to live with Mom and
Dad – Usually a temporary arrangement. A family is re-attached when an older
parent lives with the family of a son or daughter or grandchild
 Sandwiched Generation – Middle aged adults with adolescent off-springs and
aging parents.
Families are a part of the family of God.
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Family Worship
(Prepared By: Pastor Roy Dennis)
Elijah brought the people on Mount Carmel the prophets of Baal were there, so too were
the servants of God. The altars were set up and the God that caused fire to come down
from heaven should be worshipped. The prophets of Baal chanted all day long but no fire
came. At 3 p.m. Elijah called his men to throw 12 barrels of water on the sacrifice. He
called on the name of Jehovah and fire came down from heaven consuming the water, the
wood and the sacrifice. Choose you this day whom ye will serve. “And Elijah came to all the
People and said, how long will you falter between two opinions if the Lord be God follow Him: but if
Baal, then follow him.” 1 Kings 18:21
The call of Elijah is relevant to Seventh-day Adventist families today. The television, the
computer, the cell phone and a myriad of competing influences, threaten to remove the
altar of God from our homes. The altar of God is established only through our personal
devotional lives and family worship. I charge you therefore brethren, not to allow anything
to rob you of the blessings of this valuable ingredient for success in your spiritual lives –
Family Worship.
“Every home should be a place of love, where the angels of God abide, working with softening and
subduing influencing upon the heart of parents and children. Spread the word of God before your
families in love and ask, what has God spoken today?” (Ellen G. White, AH pp. 18, 19)
What is Worship?
Worship means to ascribe praise and reverence to God. There are four things that
should be present as you do so:
1. Prayer
2. The study of the Bible
3. Praise & thanksgiving or singing
4. Fellowship: as the scriptures declare where two or three are gathered together
there will the Lord be to bless them.
Below are some practical pointers for your Family Worship:
i. Have Family Worship everyday
ii. Include the Bible and prayer in your Family Worship
iii. Have a curriculum (follow the Lesson Study or Morning Watch)
iv. Include your children; use their lesson and let them participate; use bedtime
stories
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Make it short – Family Worship should be 15 minutes to no more than ½ hour.
You can spend a longer time in your personal devotion
vi. Have a prayer list and prayer partners
v.
vii. Each person should have the opportunity of leading out from time to time
viii. Utilize musical instruments if you have them
The family that prays together, stays together – If God be God serve Him.
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Mission Statement:
“Galvanize the energy and resources of men for God,
family, church, and community.”
Vision Statement
“Men who love and have committed their energy and
resources to God, family, church, and community.”
Men’s Ministries has emerged to support men in their roles as husbands, fathers, and
committed Christians. Men’s Ministries events leave a lasting impression on the men who
attend. Men leave with a stronger commitment to God, a stronger dedication to their
families, and higher dedication to share their faith with others. Embrace this ministry and
by the power of God watch the men who have been on the margin come in to the
mainstream of church life.
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Tips On Developing Your Own
Mission Statement
For Your Local Church’s Men’s Ministries
Keep in mind that your target is men.
Decide what you want to see happen among the men in your own life.
Define a plan on how you intend to accomplish this.
Define a method you intend to use to measure the results.
Finally, combine the two or three elements into one clear short sentence.
Ten Important Needs Of Men
1. Men need action.
2. Men need safety.
3. Men need to be challenged.
4. Men need to get to the point.
5. Men need to win.
6. Men need to dream.
7. Men need other men like them.
8. Men need balance in their lives.
9. Men need healing.
10. Men need freedom.
*Adapted from Men’s Ministry by Steve Sonderman
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Steps To Starting Effective
Men’s Ministries In Your Local Church
1. Start with a core group of men. The core group is the heart of effective Men’s
Ministries. Other men are not excluded from joining the core group. However, the
core group provides a foundation of prayer, direction, and leadership for the entire
Men’s Ministry.
2. Focus on relationships, not programmes. Plan on relationship-building types of events
like men’s conferences; men’s special events (cookouts with an afternoon of softball,
father-son campouts, father-daughter banquets); marriage and fathering seminars;
witnessing-in-the-workplace seminars; men’s church’s events (a monthly men’s
breakfast gathering); and men’s small groups (prayer groups, Bible study groups).
3. Have clear goals. Take a profile of your men in order to find out more about the men
you will be serving. The profile will identify interests and strengths among the men in
the church. Develop a mission
statement. Without a clearly defined purpose for this
ministry, you will lose focus.
4. For men only. This does not mean that programming events with women and
children are not vital to the health of families. But this does mean that certain needs
of men can only be met when men gather with other men. Men talk more freely on
spiritual and emotional issues when they are with just men. Effective Men’s Ministries
will recognize this dynamic and structure the ministry so as to provide an
environment where men can share their weaknesses, struggles, triumphs, and
challenges with other men.
5. Pastor-supported ministry. This ministry is pastor-friendly. The Coordinator honors
the pastor’s schedule and responsibilities by communicating plans and strategies and by
asking for his/her input. When a pastor is actively supportive of Men’s Ministries, the
ministry has greater momentum and a stronger foundation. It more readily draws men
together. A pastor’s support and encouragement can greatly enhance the men in your
church—especially if the pastor invests time and energy in a core group of lay leaders.
1. Ministries with flexibility and variety. Successful Men’s Ministries offer a variety
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of entry points and opportunities for men to grow spiritually and to make
relational commitments. These ministries honor and respect each man’s spiritual
journey, seeking ways to enhance his faith and commitment to God. Annual men’s
conferences and sporting events are great non-threatening entry points for a man.
However, these activities by themselves will not meet the relational needs of a
man or consistently challenge him to an active faith. When Men’s Ministries offer
enough variation to honor the different levels of spiritual maturity in all men, they
effectively gather their men. Not all men will commit to prayer groups. Not all
men will attend a
Sporting event. Not all men will commit to a small group.
That’s O.K. Effective Men’s Ministries are flexible, accepting men where They are
and providing a variety of opportunities for men to Convene.
7. Avoid implementing too soon. Men’s Ministries takes time to grow. Often, motivated
and excited pastors and laypersons will develop a program without taking the
necessary time to communicate the Mission of the group to various levels of men’s
gatherings. Be careful not to force an elaborate programme upon men for which they
are not yet ready. Take time to build a substantial, reliable foundation that can survive
the growth and the challenges that come with that progress.
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Duties Of The Coordinator
1. Develop and conduct on a periodic basis a wide variety of programmes and activities
that will meet the various contemporary needs of a diverse male constituency.
2. Encourage and facilitate meaningful spiritual, mental, and emotional growth among the
men of the church.
3. Work with a small administrative committee to make plans and policy.
4. Communicate with the church secretary and pastor when scheduling programmes.
5. Serve as the conference men’s ministries representative to the local church.
6. When requested, assist the conference director in planning meetings that are for the
benefit of all men of the conference.
7. Communicate news of interest to men that is disseminated from relevant sources in
the church’s structure.
8. Mentor someone else in this ministry.
9. Report to the family ministry committee and/or church board.
Spiritual Gifts Desired
Encouragement
Administration
Shepherding
Men’s Ministries has emerged to support men in their
roles as husbands, fathers, and committed Christians.
Men’s Ministries events leave a lasting impression on the
men who attend. Men leave with a stronger
commitment to God, a stronger dedication to their
families, and higher dedication to share their faith with
others. Embrace this ministry and by the power of God
watch the men who have been on the margin come in to
the mainstream of church life.
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MARRIAGE ENRICHMENT GROUPS
What is a Marriage Enrichment Group (MEG)?
It’s a small group of couples of all ages who meet regularly (e.g. monthly) to encourage
each other in the growth and enrichment of their marriages. These groups are for
partners in a relatively healthy marriage who value their relationship and want to
develop and maintain a strong, enduring marriage. When couples were asked, “What
comes to mind when you think of your Marriage Enrichment Group?” they said:
 Caring . . . encouraging . . . fun . . . accepting . . . energizing . . . listening . . .
supportive . . . commitment.
 The group has been the best thing has happened to our marriage. Here we share
a common commitment to our marriage.
 The group is a chance to focus on us – to take time out to talk about what kind
of marriage we want
 In this group, we can look at each other, face to face, and be honest about our
marriage – its good points and its struggles
Why Have Marriage Enrichment Groups?
Enrichment group experiences introduce couples to the concepts and process for
growth in marriage.
Couples, with the supportive, confidential environment of the group, gain motivation,
encouragement and tools need for the continuing development of their relationship.
These groups help couples become aware of the strengths of their marriage as well as
identifying areas in which they wish to grow. The verbal sharing in these small groups
helps couples learn alternative ways of communicating, solving problems and handling
differences. They also gain skills for interacting with their partner in positive, growthproducing ways.
In Marriage Enrichment groups, the sharing process creates an environment of trust and
acceptance. As couples learn that they are all dealing with similar issues, a sense of
shared experience replaces the feelings of isolation. “We’re all in the same boat!” Close
relationships develop with the other couples. Within the group, couples gain
encouragement for making whatever changes they desire.
Enrichment groups for couples provide an easily accessible, effective, low-cost resource
to couples for strengthening their marriage.
Distinctive Features of Marriage Enrichment groups:
 MEGs are composed of married couples
 They are designed to enhance and enrich the marriage relationships
 Each session is focused on couple relationship issues
 During group meetings, the emphasis is on each partner interacting with his/her
spouse
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 Facilitation of the group is provided by a trained couple who are also working on
their own marriage within the group.
Marriage Enrichment Groups have proven to be highly effective for couples who are
seeking greater depth and intimacy within their marriage.
IDEAS FOR GREAT MARRIAGE ENRICHMENT GROUPS
1. Celebrate the anniversaries of your family and friends with the same enthusiasm
that you celebrate their birthdays – gifts, cards, parties, surprise parties – all the
bells and whistles.
2. Start a Marriage Hall of Fame for those in your community who have been
married for 40 years or more. Post their pictures and reason for their success in
prominent public place like the notice board at church, Church News Letter, by
the foyer.
3. Ask radio station to hold a contest for the most creative and or less expensive
marriage date
4. Organize an annual weekend marriage retreat
5. Organize a Strengthening Marriage Club that meets on a regular basis
6. Ask the congregation or daycare to sponsor a date night for married couples.
Include childcare
7. Take the time to strengthen your own marriage so you can be an example to
others in your community
8. Ask the publisher of your local yellow pages to use some the empty advertising
space for marriage strengthening tips
9. Educate people about the benefits of marriage by handing out copies of marriage
quiz
10. Give marriage education books and classes as wedding anniversary, birthday and
baby shower gifts
11. Place marriage education posters, pamphlets, and lists of classes at doctors,
daycares, salon barbershops, churches, public buildings, school, real estate, health
clubs, financial and credit advisors
12. Organize friends and family to write letters asking their politicians to pass laws
that will strengthen marriages
13. Organize a Marriage Film Festival Movies to get you started. Town and Country,
Story of Us and Family Man
14. Encourage couples in your community to pray or meditate daily together that
their own marriage will be strengthened as well as the marriages of their friends
and family
15. Contact businesses and offer to teach a brown bag seminar on strengthening
marriages
16. Establish married fatherhood as a goal in fatherhood programmes
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17. Write your favourite musicians and ask them to write songs about strong
marriages
18. Encourage libraries to stock books, audiotapes and videotapes on “Fighting for
your Marriage, Keeping Love Alive, etc.
19. Provide information on building strong marriages and bridal showers.
20. Organize Marriage Memories Scrapbook project. Have couples include photos,
stories, mementos and lessons learned
21. Use the ideas in this handbook to put together a presentation about
Strengthening Marriage in Your Community
22. Provide childcare at all marriage education events
23. At community celebrations that honour firemen, policemen, paramedics and
military personnel, honour their spouses as well
24. Become involved in formulating and passing legislation that will strengthen
marriages and families
25. Attend the annual Smart Marriages conference for new ideas on how you can
strengthen marriage in your community
26. Hold a Marriage Fest in your community in your community. Have games, food
and marriage education booths.
27. Get creative with the mega-screen at sporting events
28. At wedding parties, have each guest share ideas of what the couple can do to
keep their marriage strong
29. Start an ACME chapter. In these “marriage club” couples of all ages meet to work
on marriage strengthening activities.
30. Implement Compassion Workshops for domestic violence abuser in both court
and community settings.
31. Set up an email service that sends out marriage strengthening ideas on a weekly
basis
32. Ask employers to include the celebration of anniversaries in flextime
expectations
33. Donate marriage strengthening books and tapes to libraries, high schools,
congregations, hospitals, etc
34. Petition Congress to drop the marriage penalties in tax laws and welfare
programmes.
35. Talk with others (on airplanes, at parties, work, the hair salon, etc.) about why it is
important to strengthen marriage and how they can strengthen marriage in their
community
36. Encourage your state to offer a reduction on marriage license fee for couples
who take a premarital education class.
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The Ten Commandments of Constructive Confrontation
By Len McMillan
Orlando, Florida
1. Think about what you are going to say before you open your mouth “Don’t talk
so much.You keep putting your foot in your mouth. Be sensible and turn of the
flow.”
(Proverbs 10:19, LB).
2. Don’t procrastinate. The sooner you can calmly confront the person with your
problem, the sooner the healing can begin.
3. Don’t withdraw in silence. Most problems will not go away by themselves. Silence
only leads to more frustration. Exception: when one or both of you is out of
control.
4. Be open to criticism. Remember, all criticism is destructive before it can be
constructive. It will usually hurt before it heals. “It is a badge of honour to accept
valid criticism.” (Proverbs 25:12. LB.)
5. Resolve one issue at a time. Oftentimes we bring up the past because our present
argument is weak, or there were not enough grievances in our “hurt bag” to
initiate confrontation.
6. State your complaint objectively, kindly and privately.
7. Let the other person know you are not dissatisfied with the entire relationship.
Remember, “It is harder to win back the friendship of an offended brother than to
capture a fortified city. His anger shuts you out like iron bars.” (Proverbs 18: 19
LB)
8. Avoid a win-lose situation. Learn to bend a little. Seek to compromise. Negotiate!
Don’t make threats to terminate the relationship if the other person doesn’t
agree with you
9. Don’t accuse or attack the other person. Use “I” phrases such as I am very angry! I
am extremely upset! This really bothers me. Avoid “you” phrases such as you make me
so mad! You never do anything right! You don’t care about my feelings!
10. Seek the solution. You may need to enlist a third person (counsellor, pastor, friend)
who will listen objectively and not take sides. Sometimes a mediator can help you
reach an understanding even if the two of you fail to reach an agreement.
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FAMILY BUDGET
Prepared By: Pastor Roy Dennis
Income
Salary 1
_____________________
Salary 2
_____________________
Other Income
_____________________
__________________
_________________
Total
Expenditure
Tithe & Offering:
A._________________
B. _________________
Food at home
_________________
Food at work
_________________
Utilities
a) Water
_________________
b) Light
_________________
c) Phone
_________________
d) Cooking Gas _________________
e) Cable
_________________
f) Internet
_________________
Transportation
__________________
Children Personal Allowance
__________________
Children Lunch Allowance
__________________
School Fees
__________________
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Loan
Rent/Mortgage
__________________
__________________
Medical
__________________
Payments/Salaries to pay
Expenditure Cont.
Personal Allowance:
A. __________________
__________________
B. __________________
Charity Gifts
__________________
Other
__________________
Miscellaneous
__________________
Total Expenditure
Savings
__________________
Total
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A Seventh – day Adventist Singles Ministries Programme
By: Sharette Kirby MSc (2007)
How would you develop an effective singles ministry in your church?
‘The
Singles Circle’: An interactive, informative, entertaining and vibrant programme for
singles by singles
Introduction
Is singleness a tragic wreck or a tremendous resource? Is it helplessness or
hopefulness? Is it full of problems or full of promise? Is there something wrong with
singleness, is it an abnormal state of being found somewhere in the DSM IV TR Manual
or is perfectly normal to be single? Does it help when those among us stereotype
against those who have chosen to remain single. The amusing factor is that those who
listen and actually believe these myths seem to have selectively forgotten that they
themselves were single at one time or the other in their lives. Some of these myths
include:
married adults

Singles are immature

Singles are incomplete

Singles are unstable

Singles are damaged

Singles are dangerous

Singles are inconsequential

Singles are unacceptable

Singles are lonely

Singles are sexually frustrated

Singles have fewer problems than

Singles have more money than married individuals

Singles are afraid of making a
commitment

Singles have more time than
married individuals

Singles are a threat to married
adults

Singles are not complete until
they are married
(As cited by Brown (2001)
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Developing a Seventh day Adventist Singles Ministries:
‘The Singles Circle’
Part of the mission of the Seventh-day Adventist Church is to provide
encouragement, support and nurture for single adults within the church. This is often
done by:
1. Providing social and spiritual activities held throughout the year
2. Conducting conventions, retreats and seminars that promote emotional, social
and spiritual growth
3. Providing meaningful service opportunities
4. Promoting appropriate resources and training opportunities for leaders in singles
ministry.
Mission and Aim of ‘The Singles Circle’
The mission of any singles ministry should be to create a Christ – centered
atmosphere where single adults can come together to fellowship with others of their
peers. It should further aide in guiding these individuals down the pathway of living
successful and fulfilling lives as they pass through this stage in their lives.
Scope of ‘The Singles Circle’ Ministry
With such foundations of existing myths and a stream of loneliness as its ultimate
effect, ‘The Singles Circle’ should be developed to help to guide both male and female
single individuals into experiencing successful and fulfilling intimate and social life. It is
recognized that singleness is not confined to the young and inexperienced and should
hence cater for three categories of individuals; these are namely: a) young college
students, b) working professionals and 3) older individuals who may be single due to
divorce or death of a spouse.
In keeping with the mission of the church when developing an Adventist Singles
Ministries, the following must be taken into consideration:
1. Ask God to guide you. The first step is to pray. Study God’s Word and the
Spirit of Prophecy for guidance.
2. Talk to other Singles Ministry leaders. The experiences of others will
always serve as an excellent guide in teaching the prospective leader the
rights and wrong, dos and ‘don’ts’ of a successful ministry.
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3. Identify the singles in your church. Begin with your immediate circle of
influence! Include single adult church members, neighbors, and co-workers.
Compile a list of who you know. Ask your pastor and church members to
add names to your list. Collect name, address, telephone numbers, fax, and
e-mail addresses.
4. Use singles to pull other singles. Use singles to encourage other singles to
become involved. Provide a mentoring system. The fellowship of the
evening may blossom into an enjoyable experience and a concern for the
needs of others.
5. Prepare a survey. To help determine the needs of the group, ask the singles
of the church to complete a needs assessment survey.
6. Study the needs of the singles in your local church. What type of support
do they need? Is it experts to give them advice? Inspiration and affirmation?
7. Plan programmes to meet the identified needs. Plan the content of your
program ahead of time. It would be best to begin your singles ministries with
a consecration and commitment service. Be sure that the speaker that is
invited is familiar with the needs of your singles, as identified by the needs
assessment survey. Be sure get the singles involved right from the start.
8. Identify a name, mission statement, vision and the goals and objectives of
the Singles Ministry. Know where you are going and you will get there.
Duties of the Single Adult Ministries Coordinator
Becoming a leader of ‘The Singles Circle’ leader includes the following
responsibilities:

Forming a Committee: Find responsible people who will help plan and develop
activities and programmes. Keep in mind when choosing committee members
that the adult singles need to ‘own’ their ministry in order for it to be relevant to
their needs. Therefore, as far as possible, responsibilities must be delegated in
such a way as to involve as many individuals as possible in the programme.

Bible Study: a ministry of single adults must include Bible teaching which may
take place in a large or small group situation or both. Small group Bible studies
can meet during Sabbath School and be recognized as a Sabbath School class, or
meet as a Home Bible Fellowship. Large group activities might take the form of a
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monthly Singles Fellowship where Bible study would be the only item on the
agenda.

Involve Singles in the Worship Service: look at ways to help the singles in the
church to become a part of the worship services and contribute to a spirit of
commitment among the members of the church. It allows them to feel involved
and apart of something bigger than themselves.

Plan Entry Events: the leader will need to help the church plan entry events
and build pathways to attract new members, specifically single members and
nonmembers of the church, and nurture their growing faith. In the church the
singles who may be hardest to reach is those who are single parents and those
who have been divorced; as such, the leader can host a divorce recovery seminar
r a single parent workshop in order to attract these individuals to the ministry.

Attitudes: help the larger congregation and the leaders develop a non –
judgmental, open and accepting attitude. Focus on how to minister to singles in
the situation which they are found. The question is, ‘What can be done now?’
rather than, “What happened?” or “Why did you do what you did to get yourself
into this?”
Foundations of ‘The Singles Circle’
This Ministry should be built on three primary cornerstones:
1. Being consistent: this ministry will meet once per week at a particular time,
day and place. Only in extreme cases of emergencies will meeting be cancelled.
As far a possible the leaders of this group will strive to maintain this standard and
consistency, which will only serve to improve its aim of guiding single adults into
living a fulfilling life.
2. Being Effective: though this ministry will not solely be developed for the main
purpose of helping single adults ‘find and keep a mate’ it will facilitate and
encourage group interactions and dating; and as such, its effectiveness will be
partially measurable as it explores the results of singles who have met suitable
partners through this ministry. In order to aide in this success, a local network of
singles in the Seventh-day Adventist Church across Manchester will be developed
in order to encourage and promote local area interactions and development of
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friendships.
3. Educational: The Singles Circle will facilitate numerous avenues that will serve
to educate the intellect of single adults. Some of these avenues will include
seminars, question and answer sessions, discussions and educational game works
(such as the game Men are from Mars; Women from Venus). The Singles Circle
believes the best possible way of choosing a mate is through acquaintances that
occur and develop through face – to – face contact. The following concepts are
strongly encouraged to be explored by each ministry:

accepting singleness

managing stress

coping with changes

the ethics of dating

building healthy relationships

money management

bitterness

pre – marital education

dating and courting

re – marital education

dating again (after divorce or

self – esteem
death of spouse)

setting goals
forgiving and relating to my

sexuality
former spouse

singleness in a family – oriented


dealing with guilt

depression

spiritual growth

overcoming loneliness

understanding emotions

developing identity

finding God’s will

finding a career

gossip

learning to forgive

learning to risk

learning to trust

managing anger

managing emotions
church
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In order to facilitate a successful and effective singles ministry, the leader of the ‘The
Singles Circle’ needs to ensure that appropriate and relevant information is also available to
its members and dispensed in a vibrant and interesting manner at all times. Additionally, each
leader should strive at all costs to develop a ministry that is effective informative and
consistent with the foundations, that will serve to positively enhance the life of singles within
each congregation.
STEPS IN DEVELOPING A SINGLES MINISTRIES
Using Resourceful Individuals ad Material:
Be Consistent, Be Effective, Make it Educational,
Interactive and Vibrant
PLAN A GRAND ENTRY PROGRAMME
Ensure that your first programme is exciting, captivating,
spiritual, relaxing and simple enjoyable (note that this can be a
powerful tool in pulling additional members)
PROMOTE, PROMOTE, PROMOTE!
1. Use Exciting and Colorful flyers that are direct and straight to the point.
2. USE YOUR YOUNG PEOPLE! The colloquial saying goes ‘crowd raw
crowd’…’young people draw young people’.
IDENTIFY A NAME, MISSION AND VISION
STATEMENT
IDENTIFY THE NEEDS OF THE SINGLES
Using the survey method, conduct a needs assessment of the singles within your church
and community in order to adequately plan and prepare programmes for them.
FORM A COMMITTEE
Find responsible people who will help plan and
develop activities and programmes.
FOUNDATIONAL STEPS
1. Ask God’s Guidance
2. Seek the leadership advise and programme ideas of other Singles Ministries Leaders
3. Get the approval and support of your board
Reference : Brown, Jeffery (2001). Single and Gifted: Making the most of your singleness. Autumn House:
England.
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How to Develop a Single’s Ministry
1. Personal Preparation
We cannot over-emphasize the spiritual and personal preparation of the leaders.
 Seek God’s guidance. Pray for God’s leading. Ask a few others to join you. Do
this for the purpose of clarifying your motives so that the ministry you are
about to start is God’s idea and not just an ego trip.
 Pray that the right people will be brought together.
 Pray for the Holy Spirit’s leading in determining the direction of the group.
 Seek other experienced leaders and talk with them.
 Read good books on leadership skills
2. Get Pastoral Support
 Communicate interest to the pastor
 Ask for ideas
 Incorporate the pastor’s ideas and goals into the plans
 Keep the pastor informed with the progress of the ministry
3. Develop a Core Group
Core group can:
(a) Serve as resource persons
(b) Assist in interviews
(c) Develop a mission statement
4. Develop a Mission Statement
A well-designed mission statement keeps the ministry on track. It is easy to swipe
someone else’s mission statement. The real benefit of working on your own mission
statement is ownership.
5. Interview and Survey the Singles in the Church
Surveying:
(a) Avoids needless work
(b) Shows what to target. Ministry is not about the leaders. It is about the
men.
(c) Identify needs
(d) Connects with the needs of the singles from the start
(e) Get single’s input
(f) Helps select a good cross-section of singles
6. Set a Date to Invite All of the Singles of the Church to a Special Meeting
(a) Notify the singles of your plans
(b) Agree on a day and time when the singles will be available and meet for
organization
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How to Develop a Game Plan
and Get Ministry Ideas
 BRAINSTORMING
Brainstorming is an exercise that can offer all kinds of
suggestions. It is a way to give singles ownership and
create excitement for the ministry. All ideas are
written down on a flip chart. No one is to react to any
idea negatively.
 Draw from all of the information gathered—surveys,
questionnaires, interviews, pastor’s suggestions.
 Start with the top three in five needs
 Develop action plans.
(a) Divide responsibilities
(b) Define roles and responsibilities
 Develop a time line. Plan how often the group will meet.
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How to Organize a Singles’ Ministry in the Local Church
1) Planning
He who fails to plan, plans to fail.
2) Organize a Single’s Ministry Committee
a. The role of the committee is to:
i.
Assist in planning
ii.
Execute plans
iii.
Serve as resource persons
iv.
Assist in assessment
v.
Develop a purpose statement
b. Family Life Committee
c. Separate Committee: suggested persons—Family Life Director, Care
Group leader, pastor/elder
3) Conduct needs assessment
a. Singles of the church
b. Singles of the community
c. Surveys, interviews, questionnaire
d. Listen to all the singles of the church
e. Plan first meeting
4) Plan according to needs — (a) spoken
(b)unspoken
5) Match resources with needs — (a) human (b) financial
6) Develop a resource bank
Develop a list of professionals—seek permission to circulate their names and
make available.
7) Develop resource materials
 Conference Director develops programmes,- research material for local
directors.
 Select persons to research on specific topics
 Subscribe to family life/single’s journal magazine
 Obtain copies of presenter’s presentation
 Ask group members to donate a book to the ministry
 Request that single’s ministries library be included in church’s budget
 Check internet for family life or single’s related materials
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Adventist Single’s Coordinator at the Local Church
Selecting a Coordinator
-This person may be selected by the church board or the church nominating committee.
Responsible to: Church board and works closely with the Pastor, Local Church Family
Ministries Leader, and the Conference Family Life Director.
Term of Service: One or two years. This will give continuity to the programme in the local
church. It is possible that the church may want to elect this office on a one-year only basis.
Purpose: To assist the church in meeting diverse needs of the singles who are a significant
part of the church body.
 Establish and chair the Adventist Single’s Ministries Committee. The size of the
committee should be three to five persons. It is recommended that the Family Life
Director and the Personal Ministries Leader be members of the committee. The
purpose of the committee will be to brainstorm, develop strategies, network and
assist in planning and implementing programmes and activities relevant to men’s
specific and varied needs.
 Assess needs of the singles in the church and community. This could include
identifying the demographics of the single’s population such as age, ethnicity,
educational level, marital status, etc., and identifying topics specific to their needs.
 Develop programmes and activities for singles (based on needs), harmonizing these
activities into the larger church programme. This will be done by the team effort of
the Adventists Single’s Coordinator, Single’s Organization Committee and the Pastor
 Disseminate information to the total church membership on Adventist Single’s
Organization and its contribution to the church life
 Liason between the singles of the church and the church board members, assisting
them to keep in view the needs of singles in the church, and recognizing Adventist
Single’s Organization as a significant and vital part of church growth and church
dynamics.
32
RECOMMENDED FAMILY LIFE MATERIALS
DESCRIPTION
HIGHLY EFFECTIVE MARRIAGE
IRRESISTIBLE
TO COUPLES
SMART LOVE
SERIOUS ABOUT LOVE
TRAIN UP A CHILD
HEART TO HEART
YOUNG MAN
YOUNG WOMAN
10 CHRISTIAN VALUES EVERY CHILD SHOULD KNOW
ISSUES OF THE HEART
WE’VE ONLY JUST BEGAN
HOW TO COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR MATE
HOW TO HELP KIDS ENJOY CHURCH
PARENTING TOWARDS THE 21ST CENTURY
FREE FROM DRUGS & ADDICTION
YOUNG WOMAN AFTER GOD’S HEART
COUNSELS TO PARENTS, TEACHERS
DRUG FREE YOUTH (MAGAZINE)
PRAYING LIKE CRAZY FOR YOUR KIDS
LIVING WITH LOSS
HOW TO LIVE WITH STRESS
COMPLEAT TWEEN (Hard Cover)
COMPLEAT TWEEN (Paper Back)
TO ADOLESCENT AND PARENTS
SUCCESSFUL FAMILY
SEX WITH LOVE
FOR RAISING YOUR CHILD
TOTAL MARRIAGE
ADVENTIST HOME (Hard Cover)
MESSAGES TO YOUNG PEOPLE (Hard Cover)
HOW TO HELP YOUR CHILD REALLY LOVE JESUS
RAISING KIDS RIGHT
SINGLE AND GIFTED
MEN OF POWER
A PLACE FOR US GUYS
HOW TO HANDLE FATIGUE
HOW TO BELIEVE WHEN HURT
LIFE AFTER LOSS
HOW TO BUILD A BETTER MARRIAGE
WHY TEENAGERS LEAVE THE CHURCH
CHILD GUIDANCE
DEVOTIONALS 2011
FINDING FULFILLMENT IN CHRIST
SAFE IN GOD’S HANDS (WOMEN
33
FAMILY MINISTRIES DEPARTMENT 2015
Theme: “Kingdom Ideals for Family Togetherness”
GOAL
The goal of the Family Ministries Department for 2015 is to encourage each family member
to connect with Christ first for better quality family relationships in keeping with revival and
reformation thrust of the General Conference.
ACTION PLAN – FAMILY MINISTRIES
1. Strategic Engagement meeting with Family Life Leaders in each parish:
a. Manchester
b. Clarendon
c. St. Catherine
2. Follow the Jamaica Union & General Conference Family Life Calendared Activities:
a. Christian Home and Marriage Week, February 1-7, 2015
b. National Couples Recommitment Ceremony
c. Family Togetherness week, September 6 - 12, 2015
Host Conference-wide Couples Convention, April 11 & 12, August 21 & 22 and
November 21 & 22
4. Conduct …… Family Life Crusade & One Family Life Revival.
3.
Partner with Pastors and other Departments to provide Family Life Education
6. Host two Family Life Advisory Committee Meetings.
5.
34
FAMILY MINISTRIES DEPARTMENT
CALENDAR 2015
FEBRUARY
1-7
Christian Home and Marriage Week
1 – 28
Launch of Couples Club
APRIL
1 – 30
Launch of Singles Club
11 – 12
Couples Convention & Health Expo - Clarendon
Palmer’s Cross Church
MAY
10
Mothers’ Day
JUNE
13
Men’s Day of Prayer
21
Fathers’ Day
AUGUST
1 - 31
Abuse prevention Month
21 – 22
Couples Convention & Health Expo – Manchester
Maranatha Church
SEPTEMBER
6 - 12
Family Togetherness Week
NOVEMBER
1-30
Parent Month
21 – 22
Couples Convention & Health Expo – St Catherine
Tent City Church
35
CENTRAL JAMAICA CONFERENCE OF SEVENTH-DAY ADVENTISTS
Family Ministries Department
FAMILY FRIENDLY CHURCH PROGRAMME – REPORT FORM
FOR THE YEAR____________
Family Ministries Leader____________________
Pastoral District___________________
Telephone Number________________________
Church_________________________
Email______________________________________
Please tick () the appropriate box for each item below and indicate in the section under NUMBER
the amount of times each event is held
CONFERENCE EVENTS OBSERVED
 Christian Home & Marriage Week February
 Married Couples Retreat
 Family Life Leader’s Council
 Men’s Day of Prayer
 Family Togetherness Week - September
 Mother’s/Father’s Day, Child Month
ACTIVE FAMILY LIFE MINISTRIES AND CLUBS
In Your Church
 Singles Ministries
 Couples Ministries
 Men’s Ministries/Fellowship
 Senior Citizens Club
 Other
NUMBER
SPECIFIC PROGRAMME
NUMBER
 Family Fun Day /Games Session
 Cook - outs
 Revivals/Crusades/Seminars
 Family Fasting
 Retreats
ANY OTHER NOTABLE PROGRAMMES WORTHY OF
REPORTING
(Please specify)





NB: The completed form should be returned to the Family Ministries Department of Central Jamaica
Conference by the 31st of December. You may also send it via email to communication@centralja.org.
Signature___________________________
Date_________________________________
36