vitality sex
ANIMAL MAGNETISM
Why on earth would a woman of Isabella Rossellini’s
stature, success, wealth and beauty, who comes from a bloodline of film royalty — the daughter of Ingrid Bergman and Roberto Rossellini — want to dress up as a male bumblebee and
pretend she is screwing a female bee? (And, by the way, “screwing” is, literally, the right word.)
Despite a fulfilling life as an actress,
filmmaker, model and writer, Rossellini
seems ever curious about sex in the animal kingdom and how different animals
copulate. Curiosity has led her to enter
this vast world through Green Porno,
a series of vignettes for the Sundance
Channel. She writes and co-produces
the series, humorously depicting animals’ sex organs and their mating acts.
At 57, she performs a series of mock
copulations involving puppet costumes
with huge penises, crawling on floors
not only as a bee but also as a spider,
a fly, an earthworm, a snail and several
other insects and marine animals. “Well,
sex is not so important,” she says. “It is
not so important at all for me,” she clarifies, looking away, searching for a genuine answer and suddenly — no, sexily
— revealing a six-strand pearl necklace
under the collar of her austere black
dress. But it is hard to believe sex isn’t
that important in her life. Flashing back
to the roles she played in her acting career — most memorably, standing naked
in the film Blue Velvet — or even during
her 14 years as the magnetic model for
Lancôme cosmetics, to many, Rossellini
was the incarnation of sexual allure in
its purest sense.
“Green Porno is a catchy name. I
thought that it was too funny,” Rossellini
giggles. “I don’t know why people are so
obsessed with sex. Perhaps it is due to
the fact that it is taboo and repressed ...
but, to me, it is a normal part of life.” The
Green Porno series, all three seasons, is
presented on the website of the Sundance film channel, founded and partly
funded by Robert Redford. “Bob wanted
a format that could fit on the web and
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be downloaded on cellphones,” she says.
“The short film format, one to two minutes, seemed appropriate for this.” But
the length of the films is far less noticeable than the explicit material she mimics on screen.
Astonishing Fact #1 Snails pierce
their skin to engage in sex. In one scene,
Rossellini imitates this sexual act, emphasizing its sadomasochistic nature.
The clip ends with her sighing with orgasmic pleasure.
The project came as “a combination
of opportunities.” At the time, Rossellini did not think of herself as a writer
or a director, but the challenge piqued
her interest. Sundance Channel, which
supports experimental films, was losing audience to the Internet. “I was one
of the artists who was contacted. They
wanted a new series that would fit the
zoomermag.com | March 2010
web format and would fit into the category of their ‘green’ programming,” she
recounts. “With this project, I’ve been
writing my own scripts just as I dreamed
of doing when I was a teenager.”
Rossellini was interested in biology
(mostly in animal behaviour), but she
admits unabashedly that she capitalized on sex to generate public interest.
“I thought that when doing short films I
would concentrate on sex because there
is a great interest in sex out there. A lot
of people are interested in sex and doing
a series on how animals chew their food
or on how their mouths move would not
have attracted the same audience,” she
says, bursting out laughing. She was also
fuelled by a great sense of pleasure while
researching, writing, performing and
directing the series. “I did the scientific
research, I simplified it and I kept what
made me laugh about it,” she explains.
Astonishing Fact #2 The male
praying mantis continues to have sex
with the female “even after she has
eaten his head off! His sex drive must
be the greatest.” This powerful instinct
impresses her most.
Astonishing Fact #3 Penises are
species specific, “each one unique to
its respective vagina.” To demonstrate,
Rossellini walks through a forest of 22
penises taller than she is, pointing out
their exceptional design.
“We had so much fun,” recalls Rick
Gilbert, series art director and producer,
“It’s even funnier because it’s all true.”
Rossellini insists, “If it were just a
fantasy, it wouldn’t have been as much
fun.” She selected animals that showed
the greatest variety in their way of “making love,” as she puts it. “So you can give
a sense of the many ways to reproduce.”
Her co-director, Torontonian Jody Shapiro, says, “It is fantastic to work on something that talks about the environment
and conservation in a subtle way. You
don’t feel it’s Continued on page 129
photography, green porno (inset)
ISABELLA ROSSELLINI looks where the wild things are and shares some ASTONISHING
FACTS OF LIFE from THE WORLD of THE BIRDS AND THE BEES by Véronique Morin
I don’t know why People are so
obsessed with sex. Perhaps it is due to
the fact that it is taboo and repressed …
but, to me, it is a normal part of life
Isabella Rossellini, photographed by paul alexander at the Royal Ontario Museum, September 2009
animal magnetism
Continued from page 54
being forced on you.”
Rossellini agrees. “I learned a lot, especially with marine animals. I found out
barnacles have the longest penises of
the animal kingdom.”
Astonishing Fact #4 Barnacles,
a type of crustacean, beat all species
on earth with penises 40 times longer
than their bodies. “I’m used to watching
insects in my backyard,” she continues.
“If I had been born in another century,
I could have easily been a naturalist. I
am one of those people who like turning
rocks over to see what kind of bugs are
hiding underneath. I have a lot of animals in my backyard.” Rossellini is referring to her six-acre property on Long
Island, N.Y., with its two acres of forest and an abundance of open land for
gardening and animals. Rossellini has
always been an animal lover, “just like I
was born with brown hair,” she says of
her natural affinity for creatures. She has
dogs there, some rescued (from shelters,
for example), others she received from
seeing-eye dog breeders. Her menagerie
currently includes four dogs, two cats
and five chickens.
Astonishing Fact #5 Her favourite
discovery about sex and the animal
kingdom was that, in some species,
there are “sneaky” males. “Sneaky
males are considered losers by their own
but while the dominant male is busy
showing off,” she explains with a broad
smile, “the sneaky males actually go and
copulate with the females, and it is their
babies that are born — all the while the
dominant male thinks he is the sire.”
Although the Green Porno series is not
continuing, it can be seen on the Sundance website. This adventure gave her a
taste for more writing. She is now preparing an hour-long TV pilot on the
theme of animal reproduction. “I don’t
feel a moral responsibility to teach anything. I want my public to laugh and say,
‘I didn’t know that about a fly’ or ‘I didn’t
know that about a starfish.’ ” She wants
to instil amusement and wonder. “Wonderment is the first step to respect. But I
am not a moralist or a priest. I don’t have
a project to change the world.”
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