Not so Silent Night
We estimate that this sketch will take around three minutes to perform.
The following characters are required for this short sketch: innkeepers, Mary, Joseph,
baby Jesus, donkey, cattle, goats, census guests, angels, shepherds, sheep.
Innkeepers Jean and Ian are describing the events of the night before.
Next to them is a traditional nativity scene (a flashback)
Mary is cradling baby Jesus as Joseph looks on. Mary places Jesus in a manger.
On the floor next to them (all asleep) are a donkey, some cattle and some goats.
JEAN: It was late last night we looked through the window.
It was such a lovely moment to see.
IAN: A new baby! So tender and mild.
JEAN: All was calm, all was bright...
IAN: Truth be told, it wasn’t that calm. But it was bright.
JEAN: Some sort of blazing light shone through the window.
IAN: Which set the animals off…
JEAN: The cattle were lowing…
[CATTLE MOO]
IAN: Which woke the baby up.
JEAN: But no crying he made. Well, maybe a little.
[SOUND OF BABY JESUS CRYING]
IAN: Got a mighty pair of lungs that boy. No doubt takes
after his father.
JEAN: Which disturbed all our census guests.
IAN: They woke up and decided to have a party. You know
what that census lot are like.
[A CROWD OF PEOPLE WEARING PARTY HATS AND
STREAMERS PARADE THROUGH PULLING PARTY
POPPERS AND BLOWING PARTY BLOWERS]
JEAN: They woke up the donkey…
[DONKEY STARTS BRAYING]
IAN: And the goats…
[GOATS START BLEATING]
JEAN: We wondered where the blazing light was coming
from.
IAN: Then we spotted a great big glowing chap in the
nearby fields.
JEAN: Telling everyone not to be afraid.
[ANGEL APPEARS NEARBY REPEATING: ‘Do not be
afraid’]
IAN: If you don’t want to scare people, you shouldn’t be
a giant glowing creature suddenly appearing out of
nowhere in the middle of the night.
JEAN: So the baby was crying....
[BABY CRIES]
IAN: The census lot were partying…
[CROWD BLOW THEIR BLOWERS AND CELEBRATE]
JEAN: The cattle were lowing…
[CATTLE MOO]
IAN: The donkey was braying....
[DONKEY BRAYS]
JEAN: The goats bleating....
[GOATS BLEAT]
IAN: And the shepherds on the hillside were quaking.
[SHEPHERDS GATHER AROUND THE ANGEL MAKING
FEARFUL NOISES]
JEAN: Then, all of a sudden, all the great shiny fellow’s
mates turned up. A host of them, singing, ‘Peace on
earth.’
[A LOAD MORE ANGELS TURN UP, PLAYING
INSTRUMENTS AND SINGING ‘Peace on earth.’]
IAN: It’s a pity it wasn’t ‘peace and quiet’.
[ALL THE OTHER CHARACTERS SING, SHOUT, BLEAT
ETC.]
JEAN: It seemed to last an age and then suddenly... silence.
[ALL THE OTHER CHARACTERS STOP MAKING NOISES –
ANGELS EXIT]
Tearfund’s Registered Charity No. SC037624 (Scotland)
Registered Charity No. 265464 (England and Wales) 31233-(0914)
IAN: The glowing chap and all his pals called it a night
and vanished.
JEAN: All was calm again.
JEAN: Any excuse to party… they came back down to join
in the fun.
[ANIMALS GO BACK TO SLEEP. CROWD GO OFF
BACK TO THEIR ROOMS]
IAN: It had been a crazy day what with all the census
visitors arriving, looking for rooms. We’d been up
since the early hours, preparing beds, cooking food,
entertaining folk.
JEAN: When the young couple turned up, we nearly
turned them away. It was only because the baby
was coming that we took pity on them.
IAN: All we wanted was a quiet evening in. A silent
night. Time to catch up on some well-earned shuteye. I was about to storm in and tell them all to go
to bed.
JEAN: Then we thought, think of the baby. Everyone’s
just celebrating a special new life.
IAN: And if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em! Let’s celebrate,
and we can wash up in the morning. Merry
Christmas!
ALL: Merry Christmas!
IAN: So we slipped up to bed, at last. To sleep in
heavenly peace.
[MARY, JOSEPH AND JESUS GO BACK TO THE
EARLIER SERENE NATIVITY SCENE]
JEAN: But as we were drifting off we heard another
commotion in the stable.
IAN: The shepherds burst in. Crashing about and
shouting. They wanted to greet the baby…
[SHEPHERDS CRASH NOISILY INTO THE STABLE
ACCOMPANIED BY SHEEP]
JEAN: And they’d brought all their sheep with them.
Who started bleating...
[SHEEP BLEAT]
IAN: Which woke the animals up.
JEAN: The donkey started braying…
[DONKEY STARTS BRAYING]
[CROWD PILE BACK IN, RESUME PARTYING]
[MUSIC: PARTY RESUMES]
END.
IAN: The goats started bleating…
[SHEEP BLEAT]
JEAN: The cattle started lowing, the baby awakes..
[CATTLE MOO. JESUS CRIES]
IAN: So, he was crying. And that woke up the census
guests.
Peter Shaw is a writer and playwright and his latest book, Drama out of a Crisis, - 20 challenging, fun and inspirational sketches
about poverty and justice for the Bible Reading Fellowship - is available from brf.org.uk and all good online bookstores.
Tearfund’s Registered Charity No. SC037624 (Scotland)
Registered Charity No. 265464 (England and Wales) 31403-(0915)