God's virtuous Woman - A study of Proverbs 31 by Nancy Rowley
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Help for women from the pastor's wife
My dear wife, Nancy, spent her life on earth working for and loving her Lord,
her family, and her friends. Nancy went home to be with Jesus Monday,
September 14, 1998. It is a blessing to my heart as her husband and her
pastor to see the fullfillment of scripture in her life and in her death.
Heb 11:4 ¶ By faith Abel offered unto God a more excellent sacrifice than
Cain, by which he obtained witness that he was righteous, God testifying of his
gifts: and by it he being dead yet speaketh.
While she is no longer among us here, yet her works follow. It is my earnest
hope and desire that this page may help other women to find a closer walk
with God, and a deeper love for their husbands.
Pastor Rowley
THE PREACHER'S WIFE
In Memory of Nancy Rowley, and all faithful preacher wives who "stay by the stuff".
You may talk of the work of the greatest of man,
You may rave about statesmen and teachers;
You may tell all about their achievements, and then,
Let me tell you of the wives of the preachers.
No Martyr was ever more steadfast and true
No soldier was ever more brave;
She's a genius at home, she's a diplomat, too;
And the Best Mother God ever gave.
She has met disappointments with courage so high;
She has battled grim poverty, too.
With a smile on her face and a light in her eye,
And a hope each morning that's new.
She is often alone, but she'll never complain;
And she cheerfully stays by the stuff;
Knowing well that her loss is her dear Master's gain,
And His smile of approval's enough.
She never gets all the credit that's due,
For most of it goes to the preacher;
Few know of the faith and courage so true,
Of this gentle and wonderful creature.
There is coming a day when the whole world shall hear
From the lips of the Crucified One,
Her story in full, told in words sweet and clear,
Hear Him say to her softly, "well done."
And I think that when all of their labors are o'er,
And we know all their unselfish lives,
We'll honor more highly than ever before
The preachers' most wonderful wives.
Author unknown
Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be
praised. Proverbs 31:30
This is a study on Proverbs 31 - Lessons on "God's Virtuous Woman". It was given
over the years in several Baptist churches, and was always deemed a great help by
those involved. The links can be selected at random, but will be of the most benefit
when viewed in order. May God use these studies to be a blessing to you.
For best results, please allow this file to load completely before viewing.
Proverbs 31 | Woman of Virtue | Woman of Trust | Woman of Energy | Woman of
Beauty
Woman of Stewardship | Woman of Service | Woman of Preparedness | Woman of
Prudence
Woman of Love | Woman of Praise
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Proverbs 31
MEMORIZE Proberbs 31 vs. 10-31
READ a Proverbs a day corresponding with the day of the month
FOR an extra blessing, do a study on "rubies".
PURPOSE:
My purpose in teaching this class is to let ladies know that God has laid out for us in
Scripture how we can be happy, feel fulfilled, and rejoice in the position God has
allowed us to be in. I see so many ladies, young and old, who are unhappy and want
freedom, but don't realize that to get it they must lose themselves.
1 Cor. 13:5: Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily
provoked, thinketh no evil; These guidelines, when applied to our lives, will give joy
and happiness. I know, I was a very unhappy (although I thought I was happy) woman
who longed for joy (real joy) and peace in my heart. I wanted a happy marriage, a
cheerfulness that was real, and I wanted to raise my children right and be a good
example to them. Children dearly pay for our flounderings and mistakes. I found that
joy and freedom. It wasn't easy and never will be, but God's word is faithful and
shows us clearly what to do. Balanced with wisdom, we can change and be God's
virtuous woman.
BRIEF TESTIMONY OF MY LIFE BEFORE AND AFTER SALVATION
My name is Nancy Rowley. As of the writing of this for our web page, I am 45 yrs. old.
I am one of 12 children, born and raised on a farm in central Ohio. It was a life I loved
and now miss very much. I grew up with a Christian heritage, grandparents, greatgrandparents and back, were all saved. Being raised in church, I got saved at the age
of 9 at a revival meeting. I felt the call do some kind of service for the Lord when I was
in Bible camp during my teen years. I started then praying for the husband that God
would give to me. I met David the summer of 1969. After a year of letters and three
visits with each other, we were married in June 1970. From the start, the Lord gave
me a peace that he was the right man for me. I had already been praying a long time
and because he felt called to preach, it helped confirm it. In 1972, we left a Bible
school in Pennsylvania and headed for Pensacola Bible Institute. I cried for a week
before we left. Newly married, young, and pregnant, but trusting God and my
husband. Those three years are some of the best years to recall. Precious. When
graduation time rolled around, my prayer was that God would send us somewhere
closer to home (Ohio). My husband's was, "Lord don't put me on the shelf, use me."
Graduation night we were given information about a group of people in Chicago who
wanted to start a King James Bible Believing church. They flew my husband up and
within a short time, we were on our way there. God had answered my prayer, I was
closer to home. The lesson I learned there was be careful what you pray for. Yes, I
was closer to home, but I also had never had any contact with "city" life and was
scared to death. It was there that we started King James Bible Church. The first years
were not easy. There wasn't any other pastor's wife or even an older Christian lady to
help me during those early years. We had a church full of people who were just off the
street. No church background. Sometimes you don't realize that God knows just
exactly what you need and how he can best use you. I was just a country girl and it
was probably the best thing for those people. No put on airs, no pretense, just me. I
got laughed at many a time for being barefoot. But, it was those times that helped
people to feel relaxed and more comfortable in church when just having got saved off
the streets. As the years continued, we grew. I learned most things the hard way,
never having been prepared for what was involved in the ministry. It was because of
those times that I got a real burden for young mothers, ladies, teens. I didn't want
them to go through what I had gone through. I wanted to help them when they first
got married, when they had children, how to understand themselves and what God
could do with them if yielded. I wanted to show them that they were loved and could
be used by God just as they were. There was a period of about two years in the 10th
year of the ministry when I went through a very depressed time in my life. I felt I was
worthless as an individual, a mother, wife, and pastor's wife. I thought I couldn't play
the piano very well, I couldn't sing as good as someone else. I thought I was no good,
a lousy mother. And the list goes on. The Lord brought me through that by way of a
man who helped me see myself as God saw me. It opened up a whole new world for
me and I can say, I've never been the same since. Sure I have times of being low, but
not that worthless feeling I had for so long. We have four children, three girls-Rachel
24, Amy 15, Anna 14,and Matthew-21. (1997) All love the Lord. All want to do
something for God. I have sweet granddaughter- Sarah 2-1/2. God has been so good
to me. How can I ever express in words his blessings over the last 26 years? So...this
study is a result of those times and things that I've learned, some the right way, some
the hard way. I pray that it will be an encouragement to you. I welcome your
comments and response to this study. God bless!
PROVERBS
The book of Job answers the great problems of life, suffering, evil, death, retribution,
and the supernatural forces which bear on man's life. David's Psalms give a vivid
view of worship by God's people. The book of Proverbs states the causes, results,
and value of good and evil, and establishes the law of absolutes and "ultimates"
which prevent mankind from getting together against the "Lord of Heaven". The
Proverbs will deal in "hot or cold", "up or down", "righteous or wicked", "just or
unjust", "heaven or hell", or "right or wrong". Proverbs means : to make like-- to have
dominion-- a comparison-- to set alongside or place side by side. Proverbs are
designed to impart wisdom by comparing spiritual things with things spiritual. Which
things also we speak, not in the words which man's wisdom teacheth, but which the
Holy Ghost teacheth; comparing spiritual things with spiritual. I Cor. 2:13
The key word throughout Proverbs is wisdom-Proverbs 1:7 Proverbs 28:5 ...but they that seek the Lord understand all things.
WISDOM'S definition from Webster's 1828 dictionary:
Wisdom is true religion; godliness; piety; the knowledge and fear of God, sincere and
uniform obedience to his commands. If you want to acquire it, it is the knowledge and
use of what is best, most just, most proper, most conductive to prosperity or
happiness.
A. WORLDLY WISDOM
1. The accumulation of man's tricks to preserve himself (without God) and get
what
he wants with a minimum amount of conscience pangs.
2. Produces the present world situation:
pride, wrath, envy, confusion, jealousy, war, rumors of war
Matt. 24, James 4, II Cor. 7
B. HEAVENLY WISDOM
1. Heavenly wisdom is the work of the Holy Spirit revealed through the Word of
God
2. Heavenly wisdom produces the fruit of the Spirit Gal. 5:22
3. Heavenly wisdom worketh repentance to salvation.
In the book of Proverbs a "wise man" is one who:
1. wins souls -Prov. 11:30
2. inherits glory -Prov. 3:35
3. receives commandments -Prov. 10:8
4. hearkens to counsel -Prov.12:15
5. guards his tongue -Prov. 29:11
6. seeks knowledge -Prov. 18:15
7. disperses knowledge -Prov. 15:7
8. fears and departs from evil -Prov.14:16
So... to know wisdom indicates the ability to draw judgment in moral and spiritual
matters and to discern spiritual issues. (look up all the verses on wisdom in
Proverbs) We want to look at the woman described in Proverbs 31 to observe her
character (her quality, pattern of behavior, moral strength, and self discipline; her
distinguishing traits) and to develop these character qualities in our own daily lives.
CHRIST'S PLAN FOR ME
When I stand at the Judgment seat of Christ,
And he shows his plan for me-The plan of my life as it might have been,
Had he had his way, and I see
How I blocked him there, and I checked him here
And I would not yield my will-Will there be grief in my Saviour's eyes,
Grief, tho he loves me still?
He would have me rich, and I stand there poor,
Stripped of all but his grace,
While memory runs like a hunted thing
Down the path I can't retrace!
Then my desolate heart will well-nigh break
With the tears I cannot shed;
I will cover my face with my empty hands,
I will bow my uncrowned head.
Oh Lord, of the years that are left to me
I give them to thy hand;
Take me, break me, mold me to
The Pattern that thou hast for me.
--Author unknown
DEFINITIONS FROM THE 1828 DICTIONARY OF WORDS MENTIONED IN PROVERBS
prudent- careful about one's conduct; using good judgment or common sense in
handling practical matters, wise, intelligent, frugal
froward- stubbornly contrary and disobedient
contentious- quarrelsome, perverse, given to angry debate
perverse- disposed to contradict and oppose
ignominy- disgraceful action
brawling- to argue noisily, quarreling
whorish- lewd, unchaste, addicted to unlawful sexual pleasures
gracious- marked by kindness and warm courtesy- of a compassionate or merciful
nature, excellent, becoming
foolish- lacking good sense or judgment, silly-unwise, weak in intellect
odious- to hate- arousing hatred or extreme dislike
chaste- denotes purity, pure from all unlawful commerce of sexes; undefiled, if
married, true to the marriage bed
virtuous- goodness, righteous, pure- a conforming to standards of what is right and
just and to approved codes of behavior; goodness implies inherent qualities of
kindness, benevolence, and generosity
moral- relating to the practice, manners or conduct of men as social beings in relation
to each other, and with reference to right and wrong. The word moral is applicable to
actions that are good or evil, virtuous or vicious, and has reference to the law of God
as the standard by which their character is to be determined.
wisdom- true religion; godliness; piety; the knowledge and fear of God, sincere and
uniform obedience to his commands. If you want to acquire it, it is the knowledge and
use of what is best, most just, most proper, most conductive to prosperity or
happiness.
I wrote some of these definitions right over the word in my Bible. It helped me to
understand better what kind of person God was talking about in the passage.
A Brief Summary Of Proverbs 31:10-30
10 - rare, precious
17 - energetic
24 - enterprising
11 - trustworthy, treasures
18 - discerning
25 - poised, prepared
12 - beneficial
19 - industrious
26 - wise, gracious
13 - earnest
20 - benevolent
27 - careful, active
14 - foresighted
21 - provident
28 - praiseworthy
15 - diligent
22 - elegegant
29 - distinguished
16 - prudent, progressive
23 - influential
30 - godly
31 - honored
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A Virtuous Woman
Proverbs 31:10
Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
An article written by Daniel Sheard in Israel, My Glory, March-May/1988, entitled "Who
Can Find A Virtuous Woman?" gives God's picture of Wisdom. He writes: Men, I am
sorry. God did not personify wisdom by applauding the virtues of a man. This is not
to say that He could not; God can do anything. But He did so by picturing wisdom
through the finest qualities of womanhood, and there is something uniquely
appropriate in this analogy. The Book of Proverbs praises the supreme value of an
excellent wife by alluding to her as wisdom itself, a priceless gem. "Who can find a
virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies: (Prov. 31:10; cp. Prov. 3:15,
8:3). God did not conclude this, the most famous book on wisdom ever written, with a
platitude that is difficult to grasp. He gave a flesh and blood picture of true excellence
and did so by describing the ideal wife.
I appreciate this perspective of a virtuous woman. It's a good view and one that we
should take note of. We tend to be down on ourselves so much. When I teach on a
virtuous woman, most women think they'll never attain unto what is laid down in
Scripture. To me, it's like the Christian walk. If we look at those around us, we'll tend
to get discouraged. We're all at a different level. Just like children, you wouldn't
expect your 6 yr. old to do what a 15 yr. old is doing. It's the same with you. God sees
you right where you are and that's where you need to get up and get going from.
When more light is given, more is required. We don't get in bad shape over night, so
we shouldn't expect to fix everything overnight.
Definition of Virtuousness: goodness, righteous, purity. A conforming to standards of
what is right and just and to approved codes of behavior; goodness implies inherent
qualities of kindness, benevolence, and generosity.
The virtuous woman is a woman of strength; though the weaker vessel, she is yet
made strong by wisdom and grace and fear of God. Perhaps one reason for the rarity
of a virtuous woman is that she is seldom sought. Too often the search is made for
accomplishments and external qualities rather than for godly internal worth.
In the book, Me? Obey Him? pg 12-21 by Elizabeth Hanford Rice we read, " If the Lord
Jesus Christ, God Himself, submitted to the authority of the Father, it is no shame or
dishonor for a woman to be under authority. A woman is subject to her husband, but
she can still go directly to God to ask anything she needs or desires and get it as
quickly as if she were a man. God hears the prayers of a godly woman as quickly as
he hears the prayers of a godly man." I Cor. 11:7-12 says...You are a representation of
your husband. During the time when I was so depressed, I would go to church and
look like the unhappiest person there. I didn't want to be there. I felt no good. Then
one day when my husband was preaching, he made the statement that a woman is a
representation of her husband. If she looks down, sad, mad, angry, happy, you name
it, it is a reflection on her husband. That sentence jumped out at me. I knew that my
husband loved me, he was good to me, and here I was telling all the world what a
miserable husband I had. It was enough to bring me out of my present condition. God
made the man to be the achiever, the doer, to provide for the home and protect it, to
be high priest and intercessor for the home. God made the woman to be keeper of the
home, to make a haven within its walls, a retreat from the stress of battle, the
nourisher of the children. Make your home a haven. About 13 yrs. into the ministry my
husband had to take on a job. He had a horrible boss and had a stressful day,
everyday. He would step inside the door of the house, sit down, and say, "Oh how
wonderful to be home. Peace and contentment." Does your husband feel that way. Or
is your home a place of turmoil and discontentment? What kind of a home do you
make for your family?
A woman is different from a man! A woman is different in her body, in her interests, in
her thinking, in her abilities: not inferior-- different. A woman can choose nearly any
occupation she likes. But I deny that she will find fulfillment that will surpass that
which a godly Christian woman finds who, secure in the knowledge of her
womanhood and its rightness, builds a home for her husband and children! Her
confidence in her ability to be a help, meet for her husband's needs comes as she
finds her place in the order of authority. WOMAN'S NATURE REQUIRES OBEDIENCE I
Timothy 2:12 But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over a man,.
Eve's sin was because she was deceived. Adam's was not. He knew the
consequences of eating the forbidden fruit. She did not. Women are more often led
into spiritual error than men. It might be because of her emotions. But, she doesn't
have to be led in error. That is the reason God commanded her not to usurp authority
over the man, so she can be protected from false doctrine. Submission to our
husbands gives us an umbrella or protection. When a wife rejects her God-given
authority, she leaves herself open to false teaching. When a woman takes the spiritual
leadership of the home, it always leads to tragedy. My mother was an excellent
example to me in her submission to my father. Submitting has not been a struggle for
me. I enjoy not having the responsibility of answering to God for decisions. The thing
I answer to God for is whether I submitted to my head and supported him. You don't
always have to agree with them. There have been times I didn't agree with my
husband, but then that's where prayer comes in. I gave it to God and left it at that. It's
our nature to want to manipulate and control to get what we want. We can't do that.
Sometimes God will use a mistake to teach a lesson that wouldn't otherwise be
learned. We need to keep our hands off.
The following are some examples of those who chose their own way instead of
trusting God. We need to take heed to keep from making the same mistakes.
1. Sarah- Gives Hagar to Abram to help God out. Arab-Jew conflict still going on
today Gen. 16
2. Rebekah- I'll cook the venison for your father- we'll deceive him so you can get the
blessing. She was never able to see Jacob alive again. Gen. 27
3. Solomon- Let his many wives take the spiritual leadership of the home. They turned
away his heart after other gods. I Kings. 11
Proverbs reveals the wisdom Solomon gained about strange women. We would do
well to take heed to his instruction. God expects a woman to obey her husband. The
husband-wife relationship pictures the holy, sweet relationship between Christ and
His bride, the Church, and also because we are commanded in Scripture to obey. Eph.
5:22-24 The Lord intends for marriage to be as delightful, as sweet and intimate and
tender as the relationship He wants us to experience with Him. The virtuous woman is
faithful to her husband. A virtuous woman is one who is pure, who abstains from a
sexual relationship other than with her husband, a woman who is not suggestive; she
is free from obscenity and indecency; she is modest, pure and decent. How do you
dress? Are you modest? What is modest? Properly, restrained by a sense of
propriety; hence, not forward or bold; not presumptuous or arrogant; not boastful.
(Webster's 1828) Be careful about how you dress. Dress to glorify the Lord not to
draw attention from the eyes of men. When you get ready to go out, ask yourself
these questions.
1. Is my garment too tight- does it draw attention to the wrong areas? What about the
weight of the material, is it too thin?
2. Is it too short- when I sit, am I covered properly- check your legs.
3. Am I pleasing in my husband's eyes? We'll study more about all this in the lesson
on beauty.
Strive to be God's woman. In no other book in the Bible besides Proverbs do we find
so many references to loose women and grim warnings against any association with
them. Of 28 references to "woman" in Proverbs, 19 of those references are bad.
Women in this day and age are sacrificing their femininity and nobility and are
striving to be more like men. Let's be Christian women who want to keep ourselves
unspotted from the world and glorify God by our lives. We cannot reach that goal of
excellence without the Lord Jesus Christ and the strength he offers. We must know
Christ personally to draw upon this strength. Only then can we work towards the goal
of being God's virtuous woman. Sharon Rhoades says in her book, Pattern From
Proverbs 31, A virtuous woman is a complete, happy, fulfilled woman when she has
the characteristics of the Proverbs lady. She is the personification of all the virutes
and strengths of character demonstrated throughout the book of Proverbs. She is
definitely a pattern to follow.
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A Woman of Trust
Proverbs 31:11,12
The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of
spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
A woman who loves God in a righteous way expressing warmth and true affection is a
desirable wife. She will develop these characteristics as found in Galatians 5:22,23.
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness,
faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.
The following material was taken from an article by Melanie Graeber entitled, WHAT I
WOULD TELL A YOUNG WIFE published in "Joyful Woman" March/April 1988.
1. In order for a marriage to survive it has to based on divine love. Human love,
based on emotions, is nice, but it isn't enough to weather the storms a marriage
endures over the years. Human love could fail. By allowing the Holy Spirit to control
you, you can love your husband with the kind of love described in I Corinthians 13.
This love is longsuffering, kind, and totally void of envy and selfishness.
2. Realize that God's love is sacrificial. The world looks upon love as something you
receive. God, however, looks upon it as something you give. John 3:16 tells me
that God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son. Real love gave
and kept on giving, regardless of what it received in return. This love was an action
based upon a commitment that said, "I will love you for better or for worse, in
sickness and in health. Regardless of how you feel about me, I will love you." The
most important lesson to learn is forgiveness. It is the key that will keep your heart
open to love. Learn to take Ephesians 4:32 to heart and live in that verse every day of
your married life-- to be kind to your husband, tenderhearted, forgiving him, even
as God for Christ's sake has forgiven you. To refuse to forgive, regardless of the
offense, is to kill the love and allow bitterness to take root in your heart. Find out
that the more you forgive, and the higher the price of that forgiveness, the deeper
your love will grow. When you think of what it cost Christ to forgive you, somehow
the price of forgiving your husband seems small in comparison.
3. Good marriages just don't happen. They take work. Prov. 14:1 Every wise woman
buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands. Just as you
need to work on your relationship with the Lord each day in order to keep it
growing, you have to work on the marriage relationship as well. You need to do
things that will make it grow and keep the love alive.
4. God ordained marriage in the first place. It is His desire that your marriage
becomes all He intended it to be. If you live your life according to His Word and
based on your relationship on His principles, God will honor you for it.
Simply stated, a goal to be trustworthy might be expressed like this: "By God's grace,
I purpose to do and be everything--large or small-- that I am counted upon to do and
be." We know that every good gift is from God, but one of the best and rarest gifts of
all is a prudent wife. (Prov. 19:14) House and riches [are] the inheritance of fathers:
and a prudent wife [is] from the LORD. Definition of prudent: wise, judicious, wisely
cautious in practical affairs, sagacious, (quick of thought) discreet, circumspect,
using care and caution and good judgment as well as wisdom in looking ahead.
A man is indeed blessed if he can trust his wife to be honest, discreet, free from
covetousness, and dependable in her domain. Being the woman her husband can
trust is one of the jobs of "wifing". It requires constant effort, but it reaps great
rewards in appreciation and love. A man needs to be able to trust his wife to be
dependable in her domain. To be dependable in the area of her domestic
responsibilities requires discipline and diligence, the ability to follow a set of
priorities, and genuine concern for the comfort and welfare of the family. It seems that
more and more women are more interested in acquiring things for themselves than
the welfare of the family. Daycares packed with little children are the result of this
goal of women. God help these poor children who are constantly shifted from one
babysitter, to another, to daycare. They've already got two strikes against them before
they hardly get started out in the world.
She is honest. Honesty with one's self, with God, and with all those whose lives our
lives touch, is essential and basic to trustworthiness. It is hardest to be honest with
ourselves. It is not easy to cultivate a heart of meticulous honesty. We must
recognize the need for it, and have the desire, and then ask God to give us "an honest
and good heart." We must be willing to scrutinize carefully all our attitudes and
actions to determine if we are being honest--with ourselves, with God, and with
others. It's a temptaion to try to make ourselves look better when telling something.
Whether it be one more than what actually was done, or an inch longer than we did, or
a little bigger than it really was. The natural thing for us to do is to push it a little.
Guard yourselves against this. Purpose in your heart to be honest in every word and
deed. Set a good example for those children.
Discreet- Her husband should be able to share confidences with her in the
comfortable assurance that he can safely trust her "faithful spirit" to conceal these
matters. A talebearer revealeth secrets: but he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth
the matter. (Proverbs 11:13) A discreet spirit is especially needful in the wife of a
church officer. Ladies, guard your mouth. I learned the hard way. A moral wrong was
done in our church at one point and circumstances dictated that we keep it simple. I
made just a passing statement to a friend of mine who in turn put some other things
together and it revealed the incident and I was put in a horrible position. I learned
immediately the importance of a closed mouth. Don't get caught in the trap. I took a
verse and quoted it every time I had the impulse to gossip. Yes, gossip. The verse
had the words, Psalms 141:3 Set a watch, O LORD, before my mouth; keep the door of
my lips. It helped me gain a victory. We need to be one who can be trusted to keep
confidences. It is an invaluable help to the husband. Another thing you need to be is a
sincerely interested listener. When you listen to someone, give them your full
attention. Don't be thinking ahead of what you're going to say. You can always tell
when someone isn't really giving you their full attention. Don't be more interested in
what you can say, but rather what you can hear. The combination of sincere interest
and trustworthiness is vital.
A man should be able to trust his wife to be free from covetousness. Picture a wife
who is never content with what her husband can give her and constantly lets him
know how inadequately he provides. She is like the one in Ecc. 5:10 He that loveth
silver shall not be satisfied with silver; nor he that loveth abundance with increase:
this [is] also vanity. The person greedy of gain can only bring trouble to his
household, but "Godliness with contentment is great gain" I Tim. 6:6. Contentment is
not that I have what I want, but that I want what I have.
Finally, a man needs to be able to trust his wife to be dependable in her domain. To
be dependable in the area of her domestic responsibilities requires discipline and
diligence, the ability to follow a set of priorities, and a genuine concern for the
comfort and welfare of the family.
Always guard your reputation for integrity, honesty and trustworthiness. Riches are
uncertain, but no one can rob you of your good name. As God-fearing women we
owe trustworthiness not only to our nearest and dearest, but to all those with whom
we have to do.
Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. For the husband is the head
of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the
body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so [let] the wives [be] to their
own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved
the church, and gave himself for it; (Ephesians 5:21-25). To many women, the idea of
submission sounds degrading. There are both practical and theological reasons
behind the concept of submission. First, there is creation. Adam was created first,
Eve came second and she was the help. Second, there is the Fall. Eve was deceived,
Adam was not. Because of this, Adam was to rule over Eve. Gen. 3:16 Another
reason for following the Biblical principles for headship is because it works! To be
submissive to her husband does not mean a wife gives up her right to think or to be
an individual or become less of a person. The key to submission is that the Bible
tells a wife to be submissive; therefore she must do it. Setting boundaries for your
children allows them to feel secure in knowing what they can and can't do. It's the
same when we submit to God's authority, you will feel secure. Before she is willing to
be subject to her husband, she must be willing to be submissive to the Lord. A wife
is doing her husband the greatest good when she allows him to be head of the
home. Submission is defined as "yielding, surrendering, giving way to." Jesus
Christ is our example of perfect submission and total dependence on God.
SUBMISSION IS AN ATTITUDE BEFORE IT IS AN ACT. To submit to God is more than
to simply obey. It is to abide in Him, to rest in Him, to lean on Him, to trust Him, to
adhere to Him, and to abandon oneself to Him. This is submission-- complete
confidence that God's plan for us is the very best thing that could happen to us.
Be careful about those whom God has put in authority over you. Again, watch your
attitude. Faultfinders and backbiters will soon be found outside the service of God.
Are you a trouble maker in church? Do you find fault with how things are run? Do
you rebel in your own way against the authority established? Do you realize that your
rebellion will cause someone else to rebel? Do you give a particular situation to God
and let him deal with it? The same goes for the home. Do you criticize your husband
in front of the children? Don't do it. You are teaching them to do the same thing when
they grow up. They'll start in the home. I can't ever remember my mother criticizing
my father in front of us. If they had a disagreement, we never knew about it. Learn to
voice your concern alone with your husband. Teach your children to respect their
dad, build him up, not cut him down. The greatest tool for when something is done
that you may not like and you want to rise up and rebel, is prayer. It works. Commit
something to God and let him do the rest. Do right-- even if you don't like something-but beware your attitude-- remember submission is an attitude before it is an act.
Again, your attitude will rub off on your children and next thing you know, they'll be
acting the same way. Have you ever watched a little girl play doll and some of the
things she says and does. Quite revealing!!
When recognizing and repenting of rebellion against God-appointed authority,
attitudes will change. Submission is an attitude of the heart. It is a willingness to
obey God. The highest respect anyone can give God is to obey Him. When you do
this, you will find that coming into an attitude of submission produces freedom.
Women are expected to live in a manner that is above reproach so dishonor and
criticism will not be brought on the Word of God. When one is loyal to Christ in daily
living and obedient through submission to those in authority, no one will suffer
because of a lack of faithfulness. Be sure to teach your children respect for Godgiven authority.
A good verse for starting out each day with the right kind of attitude. Memorize:
Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. (Psalms 51:10)
WAYS TO HELP YOUR PASTOR AND THOSE IN AUTHORITY IN YOUR CHURCH
1. PRAY Pray for your pastor and his family. I am a pastor's wife. I know how vital
prayer is!
2. SUBMIT Acknowledge your pastor as the spiritual leader of the congregation.
3. GET BUSY Do something in your church. Oh how much I appreciate those who
come and want to do something to help out. One lady bought me a microwave
because she said my time was valuable and she wanted to help me save some time. I
would have never thought of something like that.
4. BE HONEST Encourage him by telling him if the sermons are a blessing or help to
you.
5. BE PATIENT Be patient with your pastor. He has a big job and lots of problems to
deal with everyday. Don't be one of them.
Application:
Can others really count on me? On a scale of 1 to 10 (1-can never be counted on; 10can always be counted on) where would I rank? If under 10, what am I going to do
about it?
Is this the desire of my heart: By God's grace, I purpose to do and be everythinglarge or small -that I am counted upon to do and be?
Do I really trust God? Thinking back over the past 24 hours, was there a time when I
was not trusting God? A time when I really was?
Prayer: "Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus, O, for grace to trust Him more."
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A Woman of Energy
Proverbs 31:13-16,19,24
She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. She is like the
merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar. She riseth also while it is yet night,
and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. She considereth a
field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. She layeth her
hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff. She maketh fine linen, and
selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.
This lesson describes the Proverbs lady as a woman who is not only the wife of a
man of rank, but a wise, useful, and godly matron in her domestic responsibilities. It
is a woman professing godliness, adorned "with good works" (I Timothy 2:10).
The following is a sketch of a very lazy woman taken from A Woman That Feareth the
Lord by Emalyn Spencer:
"She loves to sleep! Too bad that sometimes this habit keeps her from going to the
grocery store when she should, or cooking a good meal for her family (20: 13). She
doesn't work very hard in her house, but spends much time talking on the telephoneher family is deprived of care and comfort due to her neglect (14:23). She has good
intentions, but something always prevents her from carrying them out. For instance,
today she was going to clean out some closets, but there was a lion in the street
(26:13). She might make some cookies, but then she would just have to go to the
trouble of eating them (26:15). O, well, a little nap would be nice, and as she drops off
to sleep she thinks of all the things she wishes she had, and can't understand why
she never has anything (13:4). O, the bed is so comfortable-she is fastened to it as a
door is to its hinges (26:14). When she finally does rouse from sleep she occupies
herself with vain pursuits, such as TV soap operas or trashy reading material (28:19).
She gets dressed, goes to the store and hunts up a roast. But when she gets home
it's too late to cook it (12:27), so she serves peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for
supper. She is a sore trial and a great irritation to those who depend on her (10:26).
She makes such slow progress in anything she does that it's as though she were
making her way through a thick hedge of thorns (15: 19). What a wasteful way of life!
(18:9). When will she wake up to reality (6:9)? Friends, in love, have tried to help her
(27:6; Gal. 6:1) and reason with her about the foolishness of her ways. But nobody
can tell her anything-she is smarter than all of them put together (26:16; 26:12).
Actually, she is so lacking in wisdom that the lowly any could be her teacher (6:6-11)."
This may seem a little to the extreme, but it does help to teach two great object
lessons on diligence and slothfulness in the book of Proverbs. The lesson of the ant
(Proverbs 6:6-11; 30:24) and the field of the slothful (24:30-34). The sluggard is
instructed to go to the ant, consider her ways and be wise, which implies that he is
lacking in wisdom. It is explicitly stated that the slothful owner of the field is a person
without understanding. anyone who ignores the warnings, instructions, and
commandments of God is foolish.
It is evident that the Proverbs woman is dedicated to the welfare of her household.
God does not unreasonably expect more from us that he has given us the ability and
strength to do. Verse 13 says she "worketh willingly with her hands". Working
willingly is a mental attitude. It is being pleased with housework, having a desire to do
it and taking delight in doing it-- all for the purpose of glorifying God. No one expects
a woman to like everything she has to do-- dusting, ironing, washing the dishes,
matching socks, (I sometimes think the washing machine eats socks the way they
turn up missing.) picking up toys. However, God does expect Christian women to do
these things willingly as unto him. When you do these things with a willing spirit, your
example will be an reflection on your children; their approach to life. This will carry
over into their walk with the Lord and how they will respond when he tells them to do
something. I like the verse in Colossians 3.17 which says "and whatsoever ye do in
word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord, Jesus giving thanks to God and the
Father by him." Let's look at some areas of our lives in which this might hold true.
Taken from the book Beautiful for Thee, Sword of the Lord.
I. Three Kinds of Values
A. Immediate
1. food, sleep, physical things
B. Intermediate
1. values that prepare us for something better
a. sewing
b. canning
C. Ultimate (eternal)
1. Raising your children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord
2. Your relationship to Jesus Christ
John 2:17; Mark 8:35; Phil. 3:7,8.14
If you keep your eternal values in front of you, then little things that bother you day by
day won't be such a big deal. Let's look at examples of women who lost eternal values
and those who had eternal values.
Eve: Wanted to be smart- She allowed herself to be lured by the immediate: Good for
food, pleasant to the eyes, and a desire to be wise. Genesis 3:6
Sarah: God needed help with the promised son- Her faith became weak. God sure was
taking a long time with this promised son and she thought He could use some help.
Boy, what a mess we have today because of that mistake. Genesis 16:1-2
Orpah: She would rather be with her pagan family then start over in a new country
and new opportunities. Ruth 1:14-15
Sapphira: Sold land and gave money, but she was not concerned about pleasing God
but impressing people. Lied. Acts 5:7-10
Martha: She was cumbered about with much service rather than hearing what the
Lord had to say. Luke 10:40. I have to be careful in this area. We find ourselves so
busy doing what we think is service for the Lord that we forget to sit and hear what he
has to say to us.
Had Eternal Values:
Ruth: She gave up home and family for something better. God blessed her with a
child in the line of Jesus. Ruth 4:13, 17-22
Hannah: She gave up joys of motherhood and lent her boy to the Lord. God blessed
her for it. I Samuel 1:26-28 My daughter lives in Washington state-1200 miles away. I
don't get to see our granddaughter very much. People say to me, "How do you stand
it?" I stand it because I would rather have them 1200 miles away serving the Lord
than living next door breaking my heart. Maybe that's how it was for Hannah.
Queen Esther: She could have stayed quiet about being a Jew, but she put her life on
the line for her people. Obtained favor of the king. God blessed her also. Esther 4:1317; 9.
I. Values cannot be chosen on the basis of what other people think
A. Base it on what God expects of you. He is the one you are accountable to
Rms. 14:12
B. You won't live by the right values and priorities if you don't plan
1. Your love relationship with the Lord
2. Your devotion to your husband
3. Your love relationship with your children
4. Your devotion to your home
5. Your devotion to Christian service
C. Values must always be linked to the priorities God has already given us
1. You are a woman, everything you do will be based on the fact that you are
one.
2. If you're married, it will have an affect as a wife
3. If you have children, it will effect them
4. It will effect the clothes you wear
5. It will effect submission
D. List things you most want to do with your life--goals
1. Soul winner
2. Have a hunger for the Lord Jesus and the word of God
3. Be good influence in lives you touch
4. Help husband
a. prayer, love, attention
5. Children
a. develop good character, love for God, others in need, eternal values
6. Deep and genuine love for other people
7. Accept myself as God made me
8. Use time to its fullest
9. Prayer
10. Be abreast of what's going on in the world
11. Apply word of God and use it in my life
12. Use gifts God has given me in service for him
13. Strong sensitivity to sin and practice of heart searching Psalms 51:10
14. Have a joy and expectation in seeing my Saviour
These don't necessarily go in this order but they can give you an idea of goals
needed in our lives. Make everyday count for the Lord. No values must distract from
the responsibility God has already placed in your life. None of these important things
should be excluded from a healthy, balanced Christian life; but each must learn its
place. If your love relationship to your husband and children and your duties at home
and church have become too numerous for you to have a quiet time with the Lord,
then you have your priorities wrong. If you have so much work to do in the church
that your home is in a constant chaotic condition, then you have not put your home in
its proper position. Periodically give yourself a priorities test. Make sure they are in
proper order.
Maybe you can see already that you are in trouble in this area of priorities. If so, start
at the top and begin to organize your life as it should be. Concentrate on the
relationship with the Lord. Begin to love your husband as you should. Accept him
exactly as he is today and learn not to focus on his faults. Praise him. Support what
he says and does. Even if he is wrong, he is to be right in your eyes. If he is right in
your eyes, you'll teach your children to love and support their dad no matter what.
Give him room to make mistakes without your chiding, reproof, or a triumphant, "I
told you so."
In verse 15 it says "she riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her
household, and a portion to her maidens." The Proverbs woman shuns slothfulness.
None of us wants to admit to being slothful, but most of us succumb to the
temptation to be lazy at times, and especially if laziness is wearing one of its
disguises such as these:
Procrastination - Characterized by hundreds of good intentions, but always gets put
off. Rationalization - Talking ourselves out of doing hard things.
No time - We never have time to do what we don't want to do, although we waste
much time on unprofitable activities.
That is not my gift- I don't do that particular thing well. Most of us who use this
excuse are still wondering what our gifts are.
How to conquer slothfulness
1. Have a physical exam to rule out physical causes.
2. Check your habits of eating, sleep, and exercise.
3. Take spiritual inventory- Are you growing as a Christian.
4. Confess and repent of slothfulness (Ps. 139:23,24)
5. Apply the practice of diligence (Ecc. 9:10a)
We can easily get in the habit of staying in bed until the last possible moment. For
some, it's hard to take when you hear of an early riser who delights in getting up with
the sun. The Bible gives many examples of early risers. The following are a few of
them:
Abraham- rose early to stand before the Lord- Gen. 19:27
Jacob- rose early to worship the Lord- Gen. 28:18
Moses- rose early to give God's message to Pharaoh- Exodus 8:20
Moses- rose early to build an altar to God- Exodus 24:4
Joshua- rose early to lead Israel over Jordan- Joshua 3:1
Joshua- rose early to capture Jericho- Joshua 6:12
Gideon- rose early to examine the fleece- Judges 6:36-38
Hannah- rose early to worship God- I Samuel 1:9
Samuel- rose early to meet Saul- I Samuel 15:12
David- rose early to do as his father asked him- I Samuel 17:20
Job- rose early to offer sacrifices for his children- Job 1:5
Virtuous woman- rose early to care for her household- Proverbs 31:15
Jesus- rose early to go to a solitary place to pray- Mark 1:35
Mary Magdalene- Mary- rose early to go to the sepulchre - Mark 16:1,2
All the people- rose early to go hear Jesus- Luke 21:38
The energetic woman loves her house-hold better than her ease or pleasure. You
can't stay up late and expect to get anything accomplished the next day. Be sure to
be there for your family in the morning when each goes there separate way, whether
to school or work. (Ladies, be sure you look half-way decent when telling your
husband goodbye. He may be working with a lot of lovely ladies).
Be careful about boredom. There are some things you can do so as not to fall prey to
it.
1. Visiting homes
2. Learn a craft
3. Baby sit for a mother to give her a break
4. Cook for a sick person
5. Use your own imagination
The Proverbs woman has free rein to buy and sell. Her husband has complete
confidence in her. She is not an impulse buyer. A good rule of thumb that we used to
use with our kids was to make them wait a week when they wanted to buy something.
If at the end of that week they still wanted it, then we would consider letting them get
it. (This was using their money). Before you buy something, take into consideration
all the facts concerned with that purchase. Make sure it won't be a hardship on the
rest of the family.
The Proverbs woman used a spinning wheel in her day. We don't have to do that
today, but there are many other time-consuming jobs that we do need to work on.
Teaching and training our children in the ways of the Lord. I am a firm believer in
home schooling. I see the school system out there as the lion's den just waiting to
consume our children. Don't forget that you only have approximately 18 years with
your children. Then they are out in the world starting to establish lives of their own.
Do your best. Church work is also a time consuming job. Do it well. Keep your
priorities right. Work on friendships. So few people today have any real friends. I
thank God for the friends he has given me and especially for the one or two that have
stuck with me through thick or thin. They have helped me through rough times and I
have been able to do the same for them. However, the most demanding, with the
greatest rewards, is that of working on the marriage. The marriage is "till death do us
part." Children and friends may come and go, but your mate is for a lifetime. Your
marriage deserves prime time and effort. One day the children will be gone. If you
haven't worked at keeping a closeness with your husband, all of a sudden, you'll be
living with a man you don't know.
Should you work?
You need to know God's will about this. Philippians 2:13 says "For it is God which
worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure." So, first, is it God's will
for you to work? Your most important job is your home, your husband and your
children. Verse 11 says "the heart of her husband doth safely trust in her." This
means that our home, our family must be most important. When we are considering
God's will about working, we need to find out, can we have our priorities right? If you
are married, have children, and your husband is able to work, then I believe it is your
responsibility to stay in the home and take care of the children. God wants you to
raise those children, not the daycare center or the baby sitter. There have been times
when we couldn't make ends meet. I could have gone out and worked, but I have
children still in the home and my job was here. When we needed things, we got down
on our knees in the living room and asked God to supply. He met the need and taught
our children faith by learning to trust God instead of "mom". Now I know this is rough
for some ladies to take. It is something we have stood very firm on over the years,
and God hasn't failed us. When we got married, my husband and decided that when I
had children, then I wouldn't work anymore. That's exactly what we did too! The
longer we're in the ministry, the more we see the pitfalls of a woman working and the
conflict it causes in the home. The following are some negative and some positive
views of working outside the home.
Negative:
1. A working woman tends to get her eyes off the Lord and on the world. They have
earnings
rather than eternity in mind.
2. When they have children, it is hard to give yourself fully to your employer when the
children were left upset or sick. Sometimes you have to leave work early because
of sickness.
3. It's easy to develop an unhealthy relationship with other men on the job.
4. There is constant emotional and physical stress under which she must live.
5. Sometimes a working mother can be a threat to her husband's confidence.
6. Spiritual life can become anemic.
7. You tend to hear "his" money and "her" money. If I make it, why shouldn't I spend it
the way I want to?
8. It causes a woman to get her fulfillment on the job instead of the home. This is bad,
in that it tears down a relationship between the husband and wife instead of
building it up. My security is in the Lord, but also built around my husband too.
PositiveIf you don't have a husband and are a single parent, then having to work is necessary
most of the time. If you don't have children, then sometimes the wife chooses to
work. In those cases, I can say there are some good points.
1. It helps some women to be more organized because they know what is required of
them for each day.
2. They make the children be more responsible for helping out in the home, because
they are not able to do it all. (I knew one single mom who had to work and her
children did an excellent job of helping out in the home with the cooking and
cleaning.) It helps to make for a feeling of family unity.
3. It helps to develop compassion and understanding for others. It helps to be more
understanding of what the husband has to face every day.
If you, as a single mom or a lady with no children, do choose to work outside the
home you need to be careful that you schedule your time so that you can do your
work well on the job. Be loving, gracious wives to your husbands; train your children
in the nurture and admonition of the Lord; keep a clean house; serve the Lord
faithfully in all areas of your responsibility; and in general be all God wants you to be.
This is a big order, but we serve a living and true God who is able to help us do all
things "through Christ which strengtheneth me." Phil. 4:13. No matter whether we
work outside the home or in the home, be sure that the time you give your children
and husband is quality time, not so much quantity time. I learned this when I had Amy
as a baby and it was 6 years since I had had Matthew. I learned that my time with her
was more important than whether the house was in the greatest of shape, the dishes
done, or the toys picked up. Give them five minutes when they want to show you
something and it will be of much more value than if you try to put then off and then
get irritable because they keep wanting your attention. The issue of working is
difficult. Each woman and her family must face it alone. Circumstances, personalities
and compulsions must be prayerfully considered. God has a perfect plan for each
woman who seeks it.
Psalms 32:8 I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will
guide thee with mine eye.
MotherMother is a woman
Who never does complain
Although I know at sometimes
She wants to go insane.
Mother is a woman
Who handles things with care
And when you really need her
It seems she's always there.
Mother is a woman
Who fell in love with dad
And is never disappointed
With the man she has
Mother is a woman
Who loves her children dear
And is always by their side
At the sight of every tear
Mother is a woman
Who cannot be replaced
And the reason why she's mother
Is only by God's grace.
A keen observation from the eyes of a 12 year old.
Amy Ruth Rowley 3/4/93
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Woman of Beauty
Proverbs 31: 17,23,25
She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. Her husband is
known in
the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. Strength and honour are her
clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
How's the memorizing going? Are you learning it?
The aura of loveliness that surrounds a godly woman is due in part to an attractive
physical exterior. Real beauty originates inside us; we can only enhance what is
already present by attention to our physical appearance. Surface beauty is vain and
has no real importance or lasting value. Prov. 31:30 says, Favour is deceitful, and
beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised. The opposite
is found in I Peter 3:3,4 Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting
the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden
man of the heart, No amount of attention to details of dress can compensate for lack
of inner grace. We all know that inner grace starts with the day a person accepts
Jesus Christ as their personal Saviour. Isaiah 61:10 I will greatly rejoice in the Lord,
my soul shall be joyful in my God; for he hath clothed me with the garments of
salvation,.
In our Proverbs study of the virtuous woman let's observe some areas of physical
concern: health, appearance.
HEALTH- Nearly all women desire to be pretty and attractive. Most worry about any
possible threat to their health or outward beauty. There are those, however, who are
too lazy to make any improvements in this area or even maintain what there is to start
with.
We have all been to school and know the general rules for good health. We know that
a proper diet, adequate rest, along with exercise and cleanliness are essential to the
best interest of our body's health. Many illnesses are caused or aggravated by our
own foolishness or neglect. Commitment and discipline are required to establish the
habits necessary to maintain good health. The Proverb's woman puts her whole soul
into her work as she girds her loins with strength- she is ready to do any work
suitable to her. She realizes she must be healthy in order to perform all the strenuous
duties she does competently. Therefore, she watches her diet and gets plenty of good
exercise. The Proverb's woman didn't have physical fitness classes or exercising
devices. She walked many miles a day seeking material needed to make her fabrics,
she tended her fields; and buying the food for her household required a trip to the
merchant's ship. You can't function to your full capacity if you don't take care of your
body. To have this kind of physical strength, women must keep their bodies in good
physical condition- inside and out. Vitality catches the eye, lethargy repels the eye. To
be attractive, a woman must look alive, feel alive and act alive-- for life attracts life.
VITALITY-ENTHUSIASM FOR LIFE
LETHARGY-DULLNESS, PASSIVENESS (APATHY)
What about the physical condition? You've probably tried crash diets and failed.
These failures discourage you and cause you to hate yourself and despair. The devil
is delighted to watch this happen. He doesn't want you to take care of your body. We
need to remember that our body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. I Corinthians 6:19,20.
What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you,
which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price:
therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's. You are not
your own. You don't do what you think is right; you do what God wants because your
body belongs to God. He bought and paid for you with His own precious blood. We
are borrowing these bodies for awhile, and God expects us to take care of them. He
has even given us the Holy Spirit to live inside our bodies. How important it is to take
care of the body we are borrowing from Him! Eating right and not eating at the wrong
times are as important in caring for our bodies as other matters such as not smoking,
drinking, or not walking in front of fast moving cars. Anything that jeopardizes the
length of our lives or threatens to hurt our bodies ought to be a concern to us.
The following are verses to use when you are waging a battle of self-control and
resisting temptations:
Philippians 4:12,13
I Corinthians 6:19,20
Proverbs 23:21
James 1:12; 4:7
Hebrews 4:15
I Peter 5:8
Don't just learn them, engraft them. Make them a part of you. When the trial or
temptation comes, if you've engrafted them, it will be the first thing you think of. It
does work.
I've tried many different ways to maintain proper physical condition. No matter what
approach you take, it is work and discipline. I read a book that has changed my way
of thinking about diets and exercise and I would recommend it to you to read. It gives
a feasible approach to maintaining your body and health. I actually feel like I can do it
and benefit from this program. The book provides the essential key to lifetime health
and fitness. Fit or Fat? by Covert Bailey You can get it at any library. Another book
I've read that has been of great benefit to me is The Carbohydrate Addict's Diet by
Rachel Keller. (I found them both at the library.) It gives a good insight into the
overbalance of carbohydrates in the American diet. Interesting reading. Maintain good
health when you are young, because when you get older, it's harder to get back again.
A good balanced diet is very important to inward and outward beauty. Remember,
everything that goes inside shows on the outside- and not necessarily in weight only.
Our body is a trust from God. Consider what Psalms 139:14 has to say to us. We are
fearfully and wonderfully made. It is just a reminder of our responsibility for the wellbeing of this exquisitely complex machine we call our body.
APPEARANCE- A Christian woman's appearance should be a credit to the Lord at all
times, and her dress should be suitable to her position in life. It is possible to pay too
little, as well as too much attention to this area of our lives. A Christian woman should
be lovely inwardly and outwardly. Too many times a lady can be lovely outwardly, but
repulsive by that which comes from the inside. As the saying goes, "What you eat is
what you are" so, what you eat spiritually is what you are. Ephesians 4: 17-32 is an
excellent passage about the heart and what really goes on in peoples lives in the area
of spiritual health. This I say therefore, and testify in the Lord, that ye henceforth walk
not as other Gentiles walk, in the vanity of their mind, Having the understanding
darkened, being alienated from the life of God through the ignorance that is in them,
because of the blindness of their heart: Who being past feeling have given
themselves over unto lasciviousness, to work all uncleanness with greediness. But
ye have not so learned Christ; If so be that ye have heard him, and have been taught
by him, as the truth is in Jesus: That ye put off concerning the former conversation
the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts; And be renewed in the
spirit of your mind; And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in
righteousness and true holiness. Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man
truth with his neighbour: for we are members one of another. Be ye angry, and sin
not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil. Let him
that stole steal no more: but rather let him labour, working with his hands the thing
which is good, that he may have to give to him that needeth Let no corrupt
communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of
edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. And grieve not the holy Spirit of
God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, and wrath,
and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And
be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for
Christ's sake hath forgiven you.
Let's guard our hearts from the craftiness of the devil. He will deceive you into
thinking you are beautiful when in fact, you are not because of the wickedness of
your heart. Inner beauty enhances outer beauty. The key to real beauty is a balance
between the inward and the outward. I Sam. 16:7 for the Lord seeth not as man seeth;
for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart. If a
woman possesses the virtuous inner qualities that come from God, man will see the
shinning reflection of God in her.
We should all give some time and thought to determine if we are inclined either to the
extreme of being too much or too little concerned with our clothing. A pleasing
appearance does not depend so much on how much we spend, but on how we spend
it, and then on good grooming. No matter how attractive our clothing, or how wellgroomed we are, we can lose the testimony of a pleasing appearance by posture that
is unattractive and communicates carelessness, indifference, discouragement, or
lack of confidence. Walking straight and confidently helps people feel like you can
handle the situation. Practice walking with a book on your head, stand with your
stomach tucked in. Don't put your nose in the air, it looks snobbish, but don't look
downward either as it relays to others sadness and helplessness. If you're tall, don't
slouch, it will only ruin your appearance. Shorter people tend to walk too fast to be
feminine. If you have problems in this area, work on them.
Be careful when you sit down. Make sure you are properly covered and nothing
private is revealed. I've seen many women who don't know how to sit properly. My
mother taught us girls at a young age to always check ourselves when we sat down.
Two girls in our church in Chicago had a buddy system where they kept tabs on each
other. Every once in a while I would catch them "high-signing" one another about
something. Practice graceful habits and learn to do them properly and with ease.
Looking at some areas concerning outward beauty1. clean skin
2. sensible makeup
3. eyes- Luke 11:34 The light of the body is the eye: therefore when thine eye is
single, thy whole body also is full of light; but when thine eye is evil, thy body also
is full of darkness.
4. lips
5. hair
6. hands
7. mouth
8. clothing- dress so you are up-to-date, but not outlandish learn to sew-it helps avoid
extremes.
Be careful about the way you dress. A woman is not excited by what she sees. She
responds to touch. A man responds to what he sees. A woman should not dress in a
way to cause a man to lust after her. If you do, you are to blame for his thoughts and
actions. Prov. 23:7 For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: Clothing can betray your
spiritual condition. If you are in doubt about what you are wearing, ask your husband,
your father, your brother, a man knows. Have a full length mirror so that you can see
yourself before you leave the house. Don't dress suggestive. Be care about what kind
of "body language" you are communicating. How a woman dresses and conducts
herself will also determine the character of her performance. Without saying a word
we relay messages by the movements and position of our body. Teach your
daughters to be very careful. I teach my girls there is proper way to walk, don't
emphaze body movement, be careful when you bend over, make sure your're
covered, watch slits in dresses, tightness in the wrong areas. You better teach them,
because if you don't, they'll learn the wrong way just being out in the world. I want my
girls to be as clean as possible for the man God has for them. Pure in thought and
body. Prov. 6:13 He winketh with his eyes, he speaketh with his feet, he teacheth with
his fingers. Here is someone relaying a message without speaking a word. There is
much value in this idea, for we do communicate by the very attitude of our body. A
man may expect a woman to sell what she advertises. If she does not want to be
propositioned, then she should not advertise.
The clothing you wear can affect how you feel. Little girls like to "dress up" in
mommy's clothes because her dresses make them feel "pretty". There is a
description in the Bible of a bride adorned for her husband. It adds a sense of
importance to the lasting and far reaching consequences of that day. It's a special,
very important time. As Christians, we have a responsibility to the world to bring
honor to Christ in all we do. Carelessness about our person is no credit to Him; it is
often an indication of laziness. An unkempt appearance can be a distraction or even
an offense to others. To be neat and clean and well-dressed is one way we can be
"teachers of good things" Titus 2:3 by our example. This is also an indication of
faithfulness in all things I Tim. 3:11. We are ambassadors for Christ, and as his
special messengers we must use every means to represent Him well. We have a duty
to reflect the glory and beauty of God.
SPIRITUAL CLOTHING-There is a reference to spiritual clothing in verse 25- strength
and honor. Our physical life demands on three things: to breathe, to eat, to exercise.
These three things are also necessary to the spiritual life. To have spiritual strength, a
Christian must read the Bible daily. There are many Christians who are defeated and
live weak lives because they do not feed on the word of God. Acts 17:11 These were
more noble than those in Thessalonica, in that they received the word with all
readiness of mind, and searched the scriptures daily, whether those things were so. It
is necessary to read the Bible every day just as it is necessary to eat every day.
Exercise is a must to keep us physically strong. If one does not use the muscles of
the body, they will soon degenerate. All of our body needs to be exercised in some
way every day. The same is true with the Christian. What exercise is to the body,
living for Jesus is to the spiritual life. Others should see by a woman's actions Christ
living in her. The physical life requires three things: breathe (comes natural), eat
(daily), exercise (use of body). The spiritual life also has these same needs. Prayer
(should come naturally) read Bible (spiritual food daily), and exercise of his Word (
live for the Lord).
This completes the picture of a godly woman who is faithful in the spiritual realm as
well as in the physical. Strength of soul results, as does strength of body, from
exercise and proper nutrition. We exercise our souls in prayer and in sacrificial
service to others; we feed spiritually on God's word; and as in the physical sphere,
this system of order in exercise and diet must be of quantity and quality suitable to
produce spiritual hardiness. A disciplined plan of daily Bible reading and prayer are
needed for spiritual health. Stay in God's word, fellowship with other saints,
preaching, teaching, are all things that will help maintain proper spiritual health.
Last, but not least, Prov. 31:23 tells us that the way a married woman looks, dresses,
and acts can affect how other people feel about her husband. Her husband is known
in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. The idea is that because of
his wife, the husband has risen to a place of prominence in the city. Prov. 12:4 A
virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as
rottenness in his bones. A husband who has a wife who lives a chaste life, will show
results in his work. A man needs a spiritually- minded wife who is able and willing to
work with him. This is the kind of wife every Christian woman should strive to be.
Because she is a good homemaker, her husband can go to work without worrying and
is able to fulfill his obligations. Behind every successful man is a diligent woman. One
of the most important areas of his life is his responsibility to the Lord. In some areas
of Christian service, it is almost impossible for the man to function as he should
without a spiritually-minded wife who is able to willingly work with him. Titus 2:4,5
That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love
their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own
husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. As a pastor's wife, it is vitally
important that I back my husband in prayer and encouragement. How I dress, talk,
look and act play a vital part in his success as a pastor.
Others will be able to see in the virtuous woman an inner strength; the ability to
handle changes due to circumstances which easily shatter and bring ruin to a
household that is not built on a strong foundation. We have been in the ministry for
over 24 years. Over those years we have gone through some things that have made
me wonder what God was doing. I knew during those times that I could trust God.
He's never failed me and never will. I trust him! I used to say that I'm afraid to "quit"
the ministry because I knew I'd be more miserable doing what I thought I'd like to do
than doing what God wanted me to do. There is comfort and security in God's will.
The virtuous woman will have a godly image and is consistent in her thoughts and
actions. She has a proper mental outlook through trials and in disappointments. This
strength comes from inside. She is able to incorporate by faith the promises of God in
her life because she has hidden them in her heart.
Ps. 119:11 Regardless of a woman's income or circumstances, she can learn to dress
herself in this strength and honor if her heart is actively tuned toward God. This
strength is the inner steel that gives a woman character, regardless of her physical
condition. It is flexibility that allows her to survive with ever-changing circumstances.
It is the certainty that shapes her life and the lives of those around her.
Character in no way attacks femininity- it enhances it. Strength of character comes
from waiting on the Lord through daily communication with Him. Isaiah 40:28-31 Hast
thou not known? hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator
of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? there is no searching of his
understanding. He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he
increaseth strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men
shall utterly fall: But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they
shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall
walk, and not faint. Femininity is a woman's crowning glory in her attitude of honor,
self-control, virtue, chastity, purity, a clean heart, sweetness, a gentle quiet spirit, and
modesty.
She shall rejoice in time to come. Verse 25 refers to the future. She and her family are
prepared for the future no matter what happens. Give your children back to the Lord.
He is able to take better care of them than you ever could. When we worry and fret, we
think we could do a better job of handling a situation than the Lord. Don't you think
the keeper of your soul can take care of your children? Prov. 22:6 Train up a child in
the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it. If we diligently
seek to direct our children in the way they should go, teaching them the principles
found in the word of God, then when they go out into the world we can rely on the
word of God and prayer to keep them. Encourage them to get in the Bible on their
own; develop their own time of devotions. Don't expect your young child to learn to
read their Bible on their own. You need to remind them and encourage them to read it.
After awhile they will desire to do it on their own. When they go out into the world,
they are going to need a strong foundation built on biblical principles. Trust God with
their future. I know of mothers who are scared to death to even think about letting
their children go. They want them right beside them all the time. One mother I know is
afraid to even let the girl go to Bible school. She wants complete control over her.
There's no trust. Trust your children. We started out giving our children full trust. My
husband told them that we would trust them and if they broke that trust, then they
would have to earn it. Our children have not broken that trust. One is now married and
a mother herself, the other boy is a Marine. Still trusted by his parents. It gave them
confidence knowing that mom and dad trusted them. Some parents have said to me
that they can't trust their kids because they know how they were at that age. Your job
is to train them. You may have not had that training, so don't expect your kids to be
like you. Give them what you didn't get. It's then that we have to trust God to keep
them. Don't worry. Again read Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go:
and when he is old, he will not depart from it. I came across an excellent book just a
little over 2 years ago that is probably the best I've read on the subject. I have given
out many of them since, to young and old alike. It is To Train up a Child by Mike and
Debi Pearl. It will change your family and children's lives. (Address given at end of
study.)
We all have many fears about the future, but let's not get our eyes off the souls of
men who are dying and on their way to Hell. I used to lay awake at night thinking
about all the "what if's" about my children. I would work myself into such a frenzy and
cry over things that have never taken place. The Lord has helped me to -Proverbs
3:5,6- trust in Him and lean not to my own understanding. I need to remember that he
is the one directing my path. I know the future looks pretty bleak, so we need to train
and teach them while we can: Another reason why I am a strong advocate of home
schooling. I need every minute I can get to prepare them for the onslaught of the devil
out there in the world. There is so much against our children. Let's do all we can to fill
them with the word of God and what's right.
What are your fears? If you have fears, they are not from God. Satan does his best to
defeat and discourage Christians. Satan finds each woman's individual panic button
and pushes as hard as he can. When he finds your fear, he will use it to damage your
mental health, confidence, outward appearance, and victorious Christian living. Phil
4:8; James 3:17 are some ways to find out if a thought is from the Lord.
If it is from the Lord, it will always: be honest- not mixed up in any way pure- no
ulterior motives kind and good- not destructive
If it is from the devil, it is probably: a lie- even a little white one a deception- the truth
twisted very cleverly a destructive suggestion that will hurt.
The secret of victory is not found in struggling alone with fear but willingly letting
Christ take that fear and leaving it with Him. You decide who controls your life. For
some people, age is a big fear. "Age is a matter of attitude of mind and heart." By
accepting the wrinkles, corns, backaches, gray hairs, and bifocals as God's gradual
refining for Heaven, women will be able to gracefully walk along with strength and
honor as God planned. To be truly beautiful, look into the face of the Lord Jesus, then
reflect His love and compassion to a world that is dying. When we were at Bible
school, there was a lady there who was a true picture of growing old beautifully. She
has a glow that shines in her eyes. Everytime I see her, that shine is still there. One
time I mentioned it to her and she said that "the light of the body is the eyes". If I get
to be that old, I pray I can reflect the beauty of Jesus likes she does.
Let the beauty of Jesus be seen in me.
All His wonderful passion and purity;
O Thou Spirit divine,
All my nature refine,
Till the beauty of Jesus be seen in me. -Albert Orsborm
I'll close with my favorite verse Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ
which strengtheneth me. Try saying the verse emphasizing one word at a time. You'll
be amazed how much more is in the verse than you thought.
I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
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WOMAN OF STEWARDSHIP
Proverbs 31:18
She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.
To perceive means to know; to understand; to observe (Webster's 1828 Dictionary)
This proverbs woman takes the time to check out her work and is careful to consider
that her motivation is right, that she does her work all for the glory and honor of God
and not out of selfishness. She makes sure that she knows her operations,
understands what is going on, and observes her merchandise.
She runs her business on a balanced budget. We sure can't say that much for our
government, can we? She gets good things, yet is careful not to buy something that
would be a financial burden on the family. It would be better to make do or go without.
She has learned how to make things with little or no value into something useful and
of value.
Be careful ladies, that you do your work and duties as unto the Lord. I Corinthians
10:31 Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of
God. Don't be wasteful with the material possessions the Lord has given you. How
you take care of the things that God has given you indicates what kind of a steward
you are. A "steward" is a man employed in great families to manage the domestic
concerns, superintend the other servants, collect the rents, or income, keep the
accounts. See Gen.15:2; 43:19 As children of God, Christians are his agents and part
of their calling lies in the management of his property.
Christians stewards must realize that they live, move, and have their being in Jesus
Christ. I Corinthians 6:19-20 The whole of the Christian's life- personality, time, talent,
influence, material substance, everything- must be dedicated to Christ. He is our
perfect example. Romans 14:12 says: So then every one of us shall give account of
himself to God. Phil. 2:5-9 says Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ
Jesus: Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God:
But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was
made in the likeness of men: And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled
himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross. Wherefore God
also hath highly exalted him, and given him a name which is above every name.
Christ in His stewardship demonstrated his perfection by making himself of no
reputation by taking upon himself the form of a servant- he humbled himself. What an
example Christ was to us in this way; the Son of God. We also see in John 6:38 that
the supreme purpose of Christ life was to do the will of the Father. For I came down
from heaven, not to do mine own will, but the will of him that sent me. What is the
supreme purpose of your life? Let's look at some areas of stewardship in our lives.
STEWARDSHIP OF A WOMAN'S BODY
I Cor. 6:19-20 We are a steward to God.
James 3:2-5 We are a steward over our tongue.
James 3:6 says that it can defile the whole body.
Matt.12:36 says we will give account of it at the judgment.
Prov. 4:23 We are a steward over our heart.
Jer. 17:9 says it is desperately wicked and deceitful above all things.
Ps. 139:23,24 Search me O God and know my heart, see if there be any wicked way in
me.
Ps. 51:17 God requires from us a broken and contrite heart.
Contrite- Brokenhearted for sin; deeply affected with grief and sorrow for having
offended God; humble; penitent;
I Pet. 1:13 We are steward of our mind
Phil 2:5-8 says we should have the mind of Christ
Isa.26:3 tells us we will have perfect peace if our minds are stayed on Him.
Phil. 4:6,7 the peace of God will keep our minds through Christ Jesus
STEWARDSHIP OF A WOMAN'S TIME Who controls your day- the time you have
given to you for 24 hours? How do you spend these hours? Do you live them
victoriously, having sweet fellowship with the Lord, or do you let the devil squander
them away? You alone are the steward of your time. Avoid time wasters! I had a lady
in our church who loved to have me go with her to do things. At first I would go, and
then I realized that my time with her was adding up to 3 and 4 hours. Time I could
have been doing something else. I graciously turned down time with her after that.
She became a time waster. Not that what we did was wrong, I could just use the time
in a better way. Be careful of situations like this.
Perhaps one of the hardest things to define is time. A well-known preacher once said,
"The older I get the more I realize that perhaps the greatest gift I could give you is
time. Actually, the only gift I can give you is my time. If I give you money, I give you
the time it took me to earn that money. If I give you a gift, I give you the time it took
me to earn the money with which I bought the gift. Perhaps, then it is true that time is
the only thing that I can really give to you."
Col. 4:5 says we should redeem the time
Ps. 90:12 tells us to number our days and apply our hearts unto wisdom
Eph. 5:15,16 redeem the time for the days are evil
James 4:14 time is as a vapor,
Ps. 62:8 as stewards of time, we should trust in him at all times
Eph. 5:19-20 read it. If our attitude is right this is how we will be
STEWARDSHIP OF A WOMAN'S TALENTS AND GIFTS Just as the body has many
parts and each is needed by the other, so the body of Christ has many parts and God
has given each of us different abilities that are helpful in the function of his body.
Every Christian possess both natural and spiritual gifts. All of us have some kind of
natural gift (abilities or talents). Flower arranging, sewing, drawing, cooking,
entertaining, musical. Colossians 3:17 says, And whatsoever ye do in word or deed,
do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father by him. Use
your gifts for the Lord. Use them to be a blessing to someone else. Look around for
some way that you can use your gift.
Christians also have a spiritual gift that God has given to them by the Holy Spirit
when they got saved. These gifts enable Christians to minister to others in behalf of
Jesus Christ. As every man hath received the gift, even so minister the same one to
another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God. I Peter 4:10 tells us to use
our gift to minister to other people. What is your spiritual gift? How can you use it to
minister to others? Pray and ask God to show you first of all what it might be and
then ask him to give you a way to be able to use it. Eight or nine years into the
ministry, God gave me an older lady who I always thought of as a spiritual mom. She
is one of the most gracious ladies I know. She has the gift of hospitality. You can
come to her house at any time, and she was just the kindest hostess. I learned a lot
from her example to me. She never thought of herself as I perceived her. Sometimes it
takes someone pointing out to us a particular gift for us to even realize it. I don't like
to put too much emphasis on this area, but I do feel that God has given us something
that we can do to be an encouragement to others. If he impresses on your heart
someone, then call them or send them a card, do something. I sent a card to someone
one time just because the Lord laid them on my heart. This girl wrote back and told
me she was so low that day and wondered if God really loved her. When my card
came in the mail, it was just the thing she needed to bring her out of her
despondency. Never ignore the leading of the Lord. It may be you the Lord is going to
use to help someone along the way. I am amazed at how I've helped someone or done
something that had unbelievable results. 20 years down the road, I'll have someone
come up to me and tell of an incident that changed their life just because of
something I did. And it really wasn't that much. Just something that showed someone
else that you cared. I find that the small deeds have a much greater impact on lives
than you'll ever realize.
STEWARDSHIP OF A WOMAN'S POSSESSIONS Prov. 3:9 Honor the Lord with thy
substance, and with the firstfruits of all thine increase: So shall thy barns be filled
with plenty, and thy presses shall burst out with new wine. Malachi 3:8-10 Will a man
rob God? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye say, Wherein have we robbed thee? In tithes
and offerings. Ye are cursed with a curse: for ye have robbed me, even this whole
nation. Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine
house, and prove me now herewith, saith the LORD of hosts, if I will not open you the
windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough
to receive it. Yes, they have in tithes and offerings.
What is a tithe? Heb.7:2 says Abraham gave a tenth. But that is only a good place to
begin. That is the least amount. How much would you be willing to trust God with?.
My dad taught me at an early age to give what's God's first and he'll take care of the
rest of your needs. We were a large family and we were very poor, but when I look
back on my life growing up, I don't remember the poverty, I remember the good times
I had as a child, that mom and dad loved me, I loved going to church, and at an early
age, I loved the Lord very much. Mom and Dad gave me that. We didn't grow up with
lots of material possessions, but we were rich beyond compare with God's blessings
in another realm. That's how it is with my life now. We've been through some pretty
tight times, but we've never gone hungry, we've always paid the bills on time, we've
always had a car that worked well, we've always been clothed adequately Just
because we've never had thousands of dollars (let alone hundreds) in the bank
doesn't mean we're not rich. I marvel at God's goodness to us and sometimes I
become so overwhelmed with it, that I can't contain the feeling of joy that comes from
within my soul. My oldest girl is an associate pastor's wife married to a great man.
She loves the Lord so much and wants to live for him. They have a little girl who's a
joy to our hearts. Our son-in-law loves God, believes the Bible is the word of God, is a
good husband, and a great father. Our son is a Corporal in the Marines. He loves the
Lord, goes to church and does what he can to help. He witnesses to those other
military guys around him. He's not ashamed of the Lord. My older girl here at home
loves God so much and it glows on her face. She's not ashamed to witness. She uses
her talents for God that he's given her in the area of music. The youngest daughter
wants to be a missionary to New Guinea when she finishes school. How can anyone
not see the goodness of God. We've always loved to give. We started at 10% and went
on from there. He has given back to us more than we could ever fathom. Not in
material possessions so much, but in his goodness to us with our children and the
lives that he's allowed us to minister too. When we went to Bible school, I always
heard, "You can't out give God." I can say a hardy "Amen" to that.
HOW DOES STEWARDSHIP FIT INTO A WOMAN'S DAILY LIFE? You might want to
establish a daily schedule. That's hard for me. I have never done it rigidly. I've
basically worked around home-schooling. Some women need to have one. Keep
appointments on a calendar. Tackle hard jobs early in the day when you are fresh and
more energetic. Know what has to be done and how to do it. ATTITUDE IS HALF THE
WORK! Sort your priorities. First things first. Your home is the most important social
unit in society. You need to do everything, whether it be cooking, cleaning, washing
dishes, clothes, or floors, helping your husband, or the children; everything should
be done "as unto the Lord."
Money can be a means of exchange for the necessities of life, or it can be one's
master, controlling the life. It is often a major cause in quarrels between couples.
Some of the reasons for this is lack of training in how to spend money, easy credit,
excessive spending for bigger and better.
WISE WAYS TO END MONEY WORRIES- Taken from notes during a Gothard Seminar
1. Be dedicated to Serving vs. Career
* serving- God's goals Matt. 6:33
* career - my goals ITim. 6:9-10
2. Be alert to Needs vs. Opportunities
* needs are God's concern (widows)
* opportunities- my advancement
3. Serve individuals, not programs
* individuals are key to future, security Phil.4:1
* programs bring division, conflicts, burnout
4. Look to God vs. Those you serve
* Be content with your wages Luke. 3:14
* Work diligently as unto God Col 3:23
* Expecting from others what only God can give is idolatry
5. Keep in Touch With Those you Serve
* Write, call visit, pray for their growth
6. Get Saleable Skills vs. Independence
* income frees to serve in love I Cor. 9:12
* key to income, buy at low, sell higher, gain Jms.4:13
* don't seek profit on friends
7. Learn to Live on Less vs. Extravagance
* sell unused things Mt. 6:19
* negotiate purchases, services, insurance
8. Learn to Abound and Suffer Need
* abound maintains discipline
* suffer need- learn humility of receiving
9. Report How Gifts Met Specific NeedsThis is an excellent way of showing your children how God provides and also a
reminder to yourself of God's faithfulness when you may become discouraged.
10. Keep Accurate Accounts of Funds
* provide things honest in the sight of all men
HOW TO NEGOTIATE A PURCHASE
1. Reevaluate-do you need it?
2. Determine actual cost
3. Can I make it myself?
4. Can I find it used?
5. Buy another brand
6. Cut out the middle man
7. Limit offer of budget in cash
8. Wait until they need to sell it
9. Combine orders for bulk price
10. Barter for it
11. Negotiate through another
12. Become a distributor
Basic attitudes toward money and the things it can buy will determine how people
live-- within a budget based on income, or constantly in debt. Often the amount of
money is not the problem.
A woman can see that God really cares about her as an individual. He is concerned
about how she uses her tongue, her heart-condition, her mind, body, gifts, and
possessions. He has given her all these things. It saddens God's heart when she
belittles herself complaining that she has no talent, that she is not creative,
intelligent, or pretty. God made each woman the way she is and when she puts herself
down, she is insulting God. She needs to accept her abilities and limitations as God's
design for her. She has been created in his image. The light of a woman's life shines
out to others as they see her and the world can tell if she is being a good steward of
her time and talents. Matt. 5:16 Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after
righteousness: for they shall be filled.
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WOMAN OF SERVICE
Proverbs 31: 20
She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the
needy.
This verse shows us that the virtuous woman doesn't wait for the poor and needy to
come to her, but she goes to them. This verse illustrates an important aspect of her
life. She is generous, merciful, and sensitive to the needs of others; a willing and
cheerful giver of her wealth as well as of her time, thoughtfulness, and strength. She
is never too busy with her own affairs to go to the aid of others.
Welfare programs and food stamps were not necessary in Bible times because people
cared for and helped to meet the needs of each other. Proverbs 31:11,12 shows how
she does good to her husband. Verses 15,21, and 27, are expressive of the good she
does for her whole household, and vs. 20 shows her concern for the needs of the
community. What a pattern of good works! Here we could find no better example of a
person with a true servant's heart; one who is no "respecter of persons", but makes
herself available whenever and wherever the need is.
We should also make ourselves available to the poor and needy. All of us have the
responsibility, the means, and the opportunity to give and serve, no matter what our
limitations may be. Sometimes we put off doing that good thing we know we ought to
do in hopes that we might get out of it altogether. (Deut. 15:11) If we stop our ears to
the cry of the poor, we can anticipate a time when we ourselves shall cry out for help
but none will hear. (Prov. 21:13) God has freely given to us so we need to freely give
ourselves. Matt 10:8b If we sew bountifully, we shall also reap bountifully. IICor. 9:6 If
you have pity on the poor, then Prov. 19:17 says that he lendeth unto the Lord; and
that which he hath given will he pay him again. As a woman grows in thankfulness of
what God has done in her life through Jesus Christ at Calvary, she will long to do His
will and serve and please Him in every way she can. Every Christian woman has a
definite place in serving.
Jesus is the Supreme example of a perfect servant. Mark 10:45 says that he came to
minister and give his life a ransom for many. The more a woman yields her life to the
Holy Spirit, the more love she will have for God; resulting in a growth of love and
service. Following are some different kinds of giving:
PROPORTIONATE GIVING- What one gives in proportion to what one has is more
important than the actual amount given.
SACRIFICIAL GIVING- Please note these words when thinking of sacrifice: good,
seeketh, willingly, from afar, giveth to her maidens, stretcheth out, reacheth forth,
looketh well. It is possible to give sacrificially from one's abundance.
WAYS OF GIVING (and service)- There are two kinds of giving implied. One is the
giving of money or goods, and the other can be of our time and abilities and strength.
A person needs two hands, a heart, a head, and a couple of feet to be useful in
meeting some of those needs. Do you have the faith that a Christian should have?
Faith is more than fellowship with God; one uses it to serve others also. True faith
expresses itself in deeds. James 2:26 says that faith without works is dead. Be willing
to serve others, but have the right attitude and motivation in doing so. Give yourself
to some ministry--be busy doing what God wants you to do, and honor him through
your ministry.
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WOMAN OF PREPAREDNESS
PROVERBS 31:21,22
She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed
with scarlet. She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and
purple.
Many persons would give great amounts of money for peace of mind, if such could be
purchased. This peace of mind is described by an absence of guilt, fear, and envy,
and is found in Christians who have learned to trust God. When we accept Jesus
Christ as our personal Saviour then we have "peace with God, through our Lord
Jesus Christ" (Romans 5:1). Once we come into this relationship with the Lord Jesus
Christ, then it is possible for us to have peace with ourselves and with our fellow
man. God has bestowed his perfect love upon us so that we might be free from the
kind of fear that has torment. (I John 4:18) He desires for us to have this peace,
knowing our well-being depends upon it.
Fear provokes all of us on various occasions. It is a good and necessary emotion.
Emotions cause us to be stirred up, which in turn allows us to deal with alarming
situations. On the other hand, chronic fear that ranges from small or vague
uneasiness to a full-fledged anxiety attack, is harmful and can produce actual
physical illness. We had a man once who had anxiety attacks all the time. He was so
bad that he couldn't even stay through a whole church service. He envied people who
were able to just sit and enjoy the whole service. He came to my husband wanting
some help. My husband started him out memorizing scripture. He told him to come
back the next week with the first chapter of Philippians memorized. He did. He gave
him the second chapter for the next week and continued on until he had memorized
the whole book. Then he didn't stop there. He told him to meditate on it so that it
became of part of his being. Whenever he would start to have an attack of anxiety
then to quote scripture. He did what I talked about earlier, engrafted the word. It
worked. This man became one of our best Sunday School teachers. He has absolutely
no problems with anxiety anymore. Not because he paid thousands of dollars to see a
shrink, but because he let the Word cleanse him and heal him of his fear.
We fear losing those things that contribute and strengthen our safety, comfort, or
well-being, such as health, jobs, status, material possessions, and loved ones. These
are our security blankets and any real or imagined threat to them will rob us of our
peace of mind. This miserable kind of fear is a result of failing to trust God. You've
forgot to take him at his word. Are you remembering to claim the promises. We are
able to obtain this peace by adhering to conditions laid down in the Word of God.
Prov. 3:1-2 peace is promised to the obedient Psalms 2512-13 if we fear God we are
promised his guidance and peace of soul Prov. 29:25 fear of man bringeth a snare,
but trust in God assures safety
Careful and thorough planning will eliminate much needless worry and anxiety. The
Proverbs woman is busy planning for the future and taking care of her household for
today. She doesn't have time to think about those things in the past. Like Paul, she
forgets those things which are behind. She has too many things to do which take time
and effort, energy and diligence. Why should she fall prey to the devil plaguing her
with thoughts of past mistakes. She doesn't need to fear the future because she has
made provision by diligently taking heed to her household and family. "She is not
afraid of the snow..." She has been faithful in providing for the needs of her
household. In providing for the needs of your home and children don't succumb to
the temptation to over-do everything. Prov. 30:15: "There are three things that are
never satisfied, yea four things say not, It is enough." There is one thing that is never
satisfied and that is a covetous and greedy heart. Beware! Several Proverbs remind
us that quiet and simple living, with the fear of God and his righteousness, is much
better than great treasure with trouble and strife. (Prov. 15:16,17; 17:1; 16:8; 21:9;
28:6)
Looking diligently to the ways of her household means not only in the physical sense,
but also in the spiritual arena. One of the most important responsibilities you have is
to make sure your children know Jesus Christ as their own personal Saviour.
2Cor. 12:14 Consider the results if we don't pray for them,
2Peter 2:14 Pray that this won't happen:
Prov. 19:23 The fear of the Lord tendeth to life: and he that hath it shall abide
satisfied.
Isaiah 26:3,4 Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace
"Like a River Glorious" --Francis Havergal
Like a river glorious is God's perfect peace
Over all victorious in its bright increase;
Perfect yet it floweth, fuller every day,
Perfect yet it groweth, deeper all the way.
Every joy and trial falleth from above,
Traced upon our dial by the Sun of love.
We may trust Him fully, all for us to do;
They who trust Him wholly, find Him wholly true.
Stayed upon Jehovah, hearts are fully blest;
Finding as He promised, perfect peace and rest.
Seek God's guidance daily in your life as you serve Him. Ask Him to help you to be
prepared for any situation that may arise in your life.
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WOMAN OF PRUDENCE
Proverbs 31:26,27
She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She
looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
To be prudent is to be "cautious; wise; not rash; exercising sound judgment;
circumspect." Webster's 1828 dictionary calls it "wisdom applied to practice".
Wisdom in this passage of Proverbs is divine wisdom, the application of Biblical
knowledge to everyday life.
What is God's wisdom? James 3:17 says, "But the wisdom that is from above is first
pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be entreated, full of mercy and good fruits,
without partiality, and without hypocrisy. Prov. 9:10 says the beginning of wisdom is
the fear of the Lord. James 1:5 tells us where we can find wisdom. "If any of you lack
wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it
shall be given him."
Wisdom is called by Solomon the "principle thing,".
Christ is the Wisdom of God. (I Corinthians 1:24) In Him are hid all the treasures of
wisdom and knowledge (Col. 2:3), and by God Christ Jesus is made wisdom unto us.
(I Corinthians 1:30)
If we have Jesus in our hearts, wisdom, knowledge, discretion and understanding
have entered in (Prov. 2:10-11). To have the mind of Christ should be our highest goal
as Christians who desire wisdom. (Phil.2:5; I Corinthians 2:16) We can come to God
and ask for wisdom as Solomon did in days of old. We must realize though, that with
this gift comes a great responsibility-- we must act on what we understand.
There is no bitter envying, jealousy or strife in the heart of the Proverbs woman.
James 3:14,15 She is discreet and firm, yet very kind. Others seek her counsel and
advice, they confide in her because they know she doesn't gossip. Gossip - what
everyone criticizes, but all like to hear - the only time people don't like gossip is when
it's about them
It seems that the more a person knows, the less he says. (Prov. 17:27) Sometimes the
best way we can open our mouths with wisdom is to keep them shut. It has been said
that "wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you would have
preferred to talk."
We can practice testing the thoughts we want to express to determine if they are
worth saying. We can put them to the test of soundness, accuracy, kindness,
wholesomeness. Are they gracious, sincere, edifying, clear, interesting? One
evidence of wisdom is restraint of the tongue. When you are reading through
Proverbs on a daily basis, mark down all the times there is a reference to the words
mouth, lips, tongue, tail bearer. Quite a list, it bears reading over and taking to heart!!
The first member of the body to be under the Holy Spirit's control after you accept
Jesus Christ as your personal Savior is the tongue. James 3:8 says "but the tongue
can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison." Our lesson today states
that "in her tongue is the law of kindness". The Proverbs woman has pureness of
heart and thus her tongue delights to utter words of grace and truth in steadfast love.
It would exclude cutting remarks, nasty retorts, biting sarcasm, vindictive
accusations, idle rumors, spicy gossip, woeful lamentations, grumbling, griping, faultfinding, back-biting, and whining. Ephesians 4:29 "Let not corrupt communication
proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may
minister grace unto the hearers."
The greatest problem in life is the pain we cause to others. The largest amount is
caused unintentionally. Selfishness, ignorance, stupidity, thoughtlessness, course
witticism, and a thousand other things are the means of wounding and hurting
feelings, stinging pride, dampening enthusiasm, and quenching the effort of fellow
men and women. Guard what you say to your children, they remember long into
adulthood what may have been said in a sudden burst of anger.
It has been said that people possess what they confess. If someone constantly has
negative thoughts and talks about depression and sickness, they either possess
those things or those things possess them. Proverbs 23:7 says "for as he thinketh in
his heart, so is he:"
The Bible teaches that words carry everlasting consequences. Be careful when
sharing prayer burdens that it doesn't develop into gossip. Spiritual discernment
must be used in this area. Again, guard what you say to and around your children.
Some parents talk about anything and everything around their children. Use some
common sense and guard what you say. Children don't need to hear all the things
that adults talk about and especially concerning things that really shouldn't be said
about other people. Do you always have to know what is going on in everyone's life.
Do you strive to be the first to know everything. Prov. 11:13 A talebearer revealeth
secrets: but he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth the matter. Sometimes we are so
taken with what's wrong with others that we neglect to clean up the garbage in our
own backyard.
Christians need to minister to each other by loving, encouraging and praying for one
another. Instead of criticizing the spots and wrinkles, Christians should smooth out
the wrinkles and remove the spots whenever and wherever they can. The kind of
woman God wants is one whose words refresh and are a blessing to others. She
should have a gracious and positive attitude that uplifts and encourages others.
Criticism has it's part in our lives, but be careful when you do it and make sure it's
right.
"she looketh well to the ways of her household." She continually watches with a keen
eye the direction her family is headed. She notices the habits, actions and speech of
her children. She exercises firm but loving discipline over each child and offers
encouragement to each when it is needed. It means knowing where each family
member is, who he is with, how he is progressing in school or at his job, and what his
hopes and dreams are. Make sure you know your children so well that when they
have sudden change, you can sense that something is amiss. It means taking time to
listen to each one in your household, letting them know you love them. Take time to
listen to what you children have to say. You may not agree with them, but it nurtures
an openness between the parent and child. When our children were younger, we
would have Friday as "Family Conference". Our children were allowed to voice
complaints or injustices where they felt had been wronged. This was allowed as long
as they remained respectful to us as parents as well as the other brother and sisters.
This time together worked very well. It taught our children to talk about a problem
rather than keep it inside where the devil can make a mountain out of a molehill. It
also showed us as parents that sometimes we over react in situations and when we
realized that, it showed our children we weren't afraid to admit wrong and ask for
forgiveness. Doing this doesn't belittle yourself to the children, but gives them more
respect for you. Parents who are never wrong will create a big wall between
themselves and the children and they'll be afraid to come to you for fear of being put
down. To this day, my older daughter talks about the fairness of her dad and how it
developed such a trust and closeness with him. She said because of that, being a
preacher's daughter didn't have the pressures on her as she sees in preachers homes
today. Now that my daughter is a mother, the blessing have been pouring in of the
things we did. Don't get discouraged. It's all worth it. When your children get older,
you'll hear a lot more feed-back from them and appreciation for your training based
on the word of God. Also, make sure you have fun with your kids. It's part of their
lives they'll never forget. I remember so much of the fun times in my home. Much of
that time was when we were doing work. We could even turn work into laughter.
You need to know where each member of your household is in his relationship to the
Lord. You can do this by conversation, but also by observation. As I said before, I feel
it's your business to know where your child is in their walk with the Lord. Encourage
him. Talk to them about the Lord. Pray with them.
It is necessary for a woman to be prudent as she keeps a watch over her life so she
may live a life that is pleasing unto the Lord. To avoid the snares of the world, we
must watch our
W -words (Matt.12:36) idle words
A -actions (Phil.1:27) striving together
T -thoughts (Prov. 23:7) thinketh in his heart
C -companions (Prov.13:20) walk with wise men
H -home (Deut. 6:4-9) teach children to love the Lord Guidelines for music, movies,
books, television
1. Does it have curse words?
2. Anything that puts down God or authority ought to be put down in your life.
Romans 13 Hebrews 13
3. Does it have words and phrases that promote sexual thoughts? If unmarried, be
careful of mixing romantic music and sensual words.
4. Does the beat make you feel fleshy and irresponsible? There are many songs and
programs that lift your spirits, but don't let them lift the spirits toward the flesh.
5. Does it take you toward Jesus?
6. Is it the type of thing you would listen to when you feel like backsliding? If it makes
you feel like backsliding in the least way, then eliminate it from your life.
7. Are you watchful about singers, actors, authors and what you know about their
lives? Often these people do not practice what they preach. Beware of the styles of
clothes and where they originate from.
APPLICATION -Sharon Rhoades Patterns from Proverbs 31
1. Ask the Lord to make your ears sensitive to your words, that they will glorify Him
and bring blessings to others.
2. Seek the Lord's guidance as you look to the ways of your household, that He will
give you the wisdom that you need.
3. Keep your words soft and sweet, you'll never know which ones you have to eat.
4. Practice these principles from Proverbs to maintain good Christian conversation.
Always speak the truth- Prov. 6:16,17,19
Speak few words, speak wisely- Prov. 10:19; 17:27; 29:11
Good words can make people feel better- Prov. 12:18,25; 15:30
Stop quarrels with soft words- Prov. 15:1
Speak out for justice- Prov. 31:8,9 5.
Take the speech habits quiz. Prov. 10:18-21
Do you use words sparingly? 10:19
Are your words worth listening to? 10:20
Do your words nourish and instruct others? 10:21
WE HAVE A HARD JOB TO DO: TO BE IN THE WORLD AND NOT OF THE WORLD!
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WOMAN OF LOVE
PROVERBS 31:28, 29
Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.
Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.
Kathryn Ann Porter wrote this quote, "Love must be learned and learned and learned.
There is no end to it. Hate needs no instruction but waits only to be provoked." Love
is learned again and again and again, but it comes as we look to the source of love-the God of Heaven who said in His Word, "God is love."
The English word "love" has to be one of the most unusual words in our language.
It's supposedly packed with meaning, yet it seems inadequate when we really want to
say something. The word really is overworked. Some dictionaries have as many as 25
different meanings for love, and it is possible to use them all throughout one day of
our lives. Let's narrow down our meanings and look at five different aspects of love
that pertain to marriage. It will help us to see what love-life in marriage and the home
should be when expressed fully in your relationship.
Strong Physical Desire- a strong desire of any kind, sometimes good, sometimes bad.
It means to set the heart on; long for, rightfully or otherwise; or it can mean to covet.
When used in the Bible in a negative way, it is called lust. When used in a productive
way it is called desire and this is the meaning we are referring to. In marriage,
husband and wife should have a strong physical desire for each other that expresses
itself in pleasurable sexual lovemaking. Sex is not the most important aspect of your
relationship, but is an indicator of the health of your marriage. If tension shows up in
other areas of your life, it will usually affect your sex life. On the other hand though, if
you have no sexual closeness, the total relationship could be affected. The aspect of
love known as physical desire should never be ignored in marriage.
Romantic Yearning- this love conveys the idea of romance. It is not always sensual,
but it does include the desire to unite with and possess the beloved. It is romantic,
passionate, and sentimental. It is often the starting point for marriage. The kind that
poets use, songwriters write about. The big problem with this kind of love is that it is
changeable and cannot last a lifetime all by itself. There are two kinds of this love.
One is infatuation which is an emotional and fleshly response to false impressions
that cause us to lust. The other, genuine love is a spiritual, mental, emotional, and
physical response to the actual character and total being of another who represents
attributes long sought and admired. This kind of love appears as a sure response
when all the other loves of marriage are set in motion. It will transform a ho-hum
marriage into one full of delight and pleasure.
Comfortable Belonging- This would be a type of love that is comprised of natural
affection and a sense of belonging to each other. This is the kind of love shared by
parents and children, or brothers and sisters. This love in marriage meets the need
we all have to belong, to be part of a close-knit circle where people care and give the
utmost loyalty to each other. When the world comes on as a cold, hard place, this is
the kind of love we take refuge in. If this love is not evident in a marriage, it is like a
house without a roof, where the rains can pour in. When it is present, it is a place of
security where the other loves can safely dwell and flourish.
Tender Sharing- This is a love of relationship--comradeship, sharing, communication,
friendship. This love makes friends who enjoy closeness and companionship. Love
that shares thoughts, feelings, attitudes, plans and dreams--intimate things they
would express to no one else. This love will eventually lead to biblical response and
fellowship around God's word. A marriage without this love will be unsatisfactory, but
with it will be interesting and rewarding.
Unselfish Giving- A love that takes us from the physical to the spiritual. This is the
totally unselfish love that has the capacity to give and keep on giving without
expecting in return. This love serves. The previous loves all have enjoyment where in
contrast, this love caused Christ to come to earth, as a man, on our behalf. God loves
all mankind with this love. This aspect of love can be used to save a marriage that has
lost its love. This is the only love that you can bring into your marriage immediately,
because it is exercised as a choice of your will and has no dependence on feelings. It
is love in action, not emotion. It centers on what you do and say rather than how you
feel. If your marriage possess this kind of love, it can survive anything. This kind of
love is so important and works because it comes from an eternal source of God
alone. It can go on operating when every other kind of love fails. Not only that, it loves
no matter what. No matter how unlovable the other person may be, this love keeps on
flowing. It is as unconditional as God's love for us. It is a mental attitude based on a
deliberate choice of the will. You can choose right now to begin to love your mate
with this love no matter how much indifference you may face.
It is an exciting fact that when you enter into a marriage designed by God with your
love for each other reflecting Christ's love like a mirror for all to see, you also are
entering into a personal ministry that will be a witness to others. A husband and wife
who have learned to love each other in the ways we have described can minister to a
couple in need with great effectiveness. Based on the word of God, a couple has
available to him the capacity to love each other with an absorbing spiritual, emotional,
and physical attraction that continues to grow throughout their lifetime together.
Based on this information, we can see where the Proverbs woman led a consistent
life as wife and mother. It is easy for her husband and children to love, honor, respect,
and praise her. She expresses constant love and care for her children. She makes
time for her husband so they can develop their relationship.
The two love chapters in the Bible are I John 4, and I Corinthians 13. These chapters
give us some wisdom concerning what God has to say about the subject of love. We
see in verse 7 that God expects Christians to love one another because love is of
God. If you don't love, you don't know God. Verse 11 admonishes Christians to love
one another because God so loved us. Then in verse 19 it says that "We love him
because he first loved us." This love should cause us to love our brother also. Verse
21.
Read I Corinthians 13. This kind of love won't puff you up. It doesn't seek her own and
isn't easily provoked. It doesn't think evil. It doesn't rejoice when someone else does
wrong. It does rejoice in the truth. Charity never fails. Faith, hope and charity abides,
but the greatest of these is charity.
LOVE IS
slow to suspect....quick to trust
slow to condemn....quick to justify
slow to offend....quick to defend
slow to reprimand....quick to forbear
slow to belittle....quick to appreciate
slow to demand....quick to give
slow to provoke....quick to conciliate
slow to hinder....quick to help
slow to resent....quick to forgive
How can love be expressed? Love can be expressed in kindness to others. It shows
who we are. If we only have nice things to do and say for people from whom we want
something, our love is selfish and we will become known for it. If we love because we
love the Lord and want to love others as He would have us to do, we would be happier
and others around us would be too.
1. OURSELVES- Don't criticize yourself. I know too many people have a high and
mighty opinion of themselves. On the other hand, some have such a low opinion, they
feel they are worthless. Not so. We are God's creation and workmanship. Who are we
to belittle what God has so wonderfully made. Realize "it is God which worketh in you
both to will and to do of his good pleasure." Phil 2:13 and Phil 1:6 says, "Being
confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform
it until the day of Jesus Christ:" This verse has been the verse I use a lot. There was a
time in my life when I felt I wasn't capable of being used by God because I was so
worthless. It was when I realized that because of Jesus Christ, I became of value and
he wanted to use me to glorify himself.
2. THE FAMILY CIRCLE- Your husband needs kind words from you. They mean more
to him coming from you than anyone else. When he fails, be kind. Children need kind
consideration and love everyday too. Always be kind to family members at home and
in front of people. Never embarrass or belittle them in front of others. Only by pride
cometh contention. Proverbs 13:10 Our pride sure gets us into a lot of trouble,
doesn't it?
3. REGULAR CONTACTS- Teachers, friends, the preacher and others we associate
with often could use notes of thanks and expressions of appreciation. So many times
God has laid someone on my heart to pray for, give a call, or send a note or card.
Respond to God's prompting. Only heaven will reveal the results of your responding.
4. STRANGERS- If someone needs help, help them. Use wisdom. If a child is crying
for Mother in the store, don't just stare like everyone else, be kind and help. You may
not know the waitress in the restaurant, but you can be kind even if she takes too
long and spills something. I find that people are just waiting for a kind word from
someone. Why shouldn't we as children of the King reach out in this way. It could
lead to a soul getting saved.
5. UNLOVABLE PEOPLE- Unkind, unfriendly, or unusual people can sometimes be
changed around completely because you show them some love. When someone does
wrong to us, let's not sit around waiting for an apology. Be kind to them and show
them love. Forgive them. When we were first married, I worked as a waitress with a
lady that was such a crabby person. She didn't have anything good to say about
anything. I would come home so distraught sometimes and my husband would feel
my frustrations coming back on him, if only just to talk and get it out of my system.
Then I decided to try to reverse the situation by being kind to her no matter what. At
times, I thought I would never make any head-way with her, but it did pay off. I worked
for six months and by the end of that time, she had become a very good friend. She
didn't get saved when I was there, but I know a testimony was left behind when I left.
Be careful about your attitudes towards those who have wronged you. Maybe we
don't think they deserve forgiveness, but we didn't deserve God's forgiveness for our
sins either. Maybe they don't deserve to get a nice gift from us as an expression of
our love and forgiveness, but we don't deserve Heaven either. I was having a very
hard time with a lady once and to soften my spirit towards her, I would give her a little
gift once a week. It didn't have to be much of anything, but just something that made
me take time to think of something I could do for her. I never told her the gifts were
coming from me. It was something I did for myself, not so much her. Our relationship
may not have been a close one, but it did give me the right heart attitude towards her.
"And be ye kind, one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God
for Christ's sake hath forgiven you." Ephesians 4:32 How this verse brings back a
battle I had. A lady in our church had lots of emotional problems. She would call at
every hour of the day and always my husband would go where ever she was to try to
help her. She tried suicide on several occasions. (This was in the early years of the
ministry before my husband realized aspects in counseling that you just didn't do.
Believe me, he would never do now, what he did then! ) Once she called when I had
just gotten home from having a baby. My husband left to help her. Another time was
at our son's birthday party. At one point, she told my husband that she was in love
with him. I never doubted my husband. It was the woman I didn't trust. This went on
and on for quite some time. I developed such an anger towards her that I couldn't
stand the sight of her. The Lord would convict me of my feelings, and I would in my
heart tell the Lord that I forgave her, but just as soon as she would do something, all
the feelings would come back immediately. I battled and battled this till a time when
we were having revival meetings. I can't tell you what the message was about, but
when he got done, I knew that God had shown me without a doubt, my sin. I was one
bitter woman towards this lady. The Lord used these verses to convict me. Ephesians
4:31-32 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be
put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted,
forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you. The time had
come when I had to go to her and ask her to forgive me for the sins of my heart. I
hated this lady and needed to get it dealt with in the right way. I went to her that night
after church and told her how I had bitterness and anger, and wrath towards her. I
asked her to forgive me, not knowing what she would say. She said, "Of course" in a
flippant way. She may not have understood the seriousness of my asking
forgiveness, but it gave me a light heart. I knew I had done what God had told me to
do. It was what I needed to rid my heart of its sin. When this lady would do things
again after that, none of the old feelings came back. I learned to pray for her. She had
done me much hurt, but I had allowed it to fester and become bitterness. That was my
sin, not hers. About ten years later, I received a letter from her wanting forgiveness
for all the things she had done to me. She listed them. I thought she wasn't aware of
my hurt, but she was. God gave me that forgiveness as a bonus ten years after I had
made right my own heart. I wrote her back and told her I never had any ill feelings
towards her since I had met with her that day at church about my sin. I only wanted
God's best for her and her family.
Love for God will be demonstrated by the place His commandments occupy in the
Christian's life. It is necessary to study the Bible to learn what God's commandments
are. John 14:12 says that if we believe on him, then the works that Jesus Christ does
should be what we do also. And then later on in verse 15 it says that if we love him we
will keep his commandments.
God made people to love and be loved. To love is to really live, to experience the
deepest kind of soul satisfaction. God's love is not based on our performance. He
loves unconditionally.
The Proverbs woman is able to excel because of her spiritual and practical devotion
to God which invades every area and relationship of her life. II Peter 1:5-7 shows that
if our foundation is built on the word of God, then we can add to it faith, virtue,
knowledge, temperance, patience, godliness, brotherly kindness, and charity. As
virtue is exercised, knowledge will grow. As knowledge is used to show us what to do
in particular situations, temperance will be increased. Temperance or moderation will
produce patience. Many people become discouraged and impatient, but learning to
trust in God and being patient will show forth godliness in a Christian's life.
Godliness gives God the proper place in our lives and will be exercised in brotherly
kindness, which produces charity.
The Proverb lady is a pattern to follow in learning to show forth love and to accept
love from others. Her testimony to her family and friends is that she excels.
APPLICATION OF TODAY'S LESSON
1. Look for ways to honestly compliment people around you.
2. Ask God to develop a more loving attitude in your heart for family and friends.
3. Work on developing the Christian virtues in II Peter 1: 5-7.
4. Send a note of encouragement to a family member, elderly saint, or your pastor.
5. "Love that seeks to do men good is cowardice when it refuses to prevent them
from doing wrong"- Shailer Matthews
I WILL ...like Paul, forget those things which are behind and press forward.
I WILL...like David, lift up mine eyes unto the hills from whence cometh my help.
I WILL...like Abraham, trust implicitly in my God.
I WILL...like Enoch, walk in daily fellowship with my Heavenly Father.
I WILL...like Jehoshophat, prepare my heart to seek God.
I WILL...like Moses, choose rather to suffer than enjoy the pleasures of sin.
I WILL...like Daniel, commune with my God at all times.
I WILL...like Job, be patient under all circumstances.
I WILL...like Gideon, stand firm, even though my friends be few.
I WILL...like Aaron, uphold the hands of my spiritual leader.
I WILL...like Isaiah, consecrate myself to God's work.
I WILL...like Andrew, strive to lead my brother to a closer walk with Christ.
I WILL...like John, lean upon the bosom of the Master.
I WILL...like Stephen, manifest a forgiving Spirit toward all who hurt me.
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WOMAN OF PRAISE
PROVERBS 31:30,31
Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall
be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the
gates.
So what completes a Proverbs 31 woman? Her crown is that she "fears the Lord".
Proverbs 1:7 says, "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: but fools
despise wisdom and instruction." Psalms 19:9 "The fear of the Lord is clean,
enduring for ever: the judgments of the LORD are true and righteous altogether."
Prov. 10.27 "The fear of the LORD prolongeth days:" 14:26,27 "In the fear of the Lord
is strong confidence... The fear of the LORD is a fountain of life," 15:16 "Better is little
with the fear of the LORD than great treasure and trouble therewith."
In order to study "a woman that feareth the Lord" we must first understand what it
means to fear God. What is "the fear of God"? Charles Bridges gives us this
definition: "It is that affectionate reverence by which the child of God bends himself
humbly and carefully to his Father's law. His wrath is so bitter, and His love so sweet,
that hence springs an earnest desire to please Him." Webster's 1828 dictionary- fear:
An holy awe or reverence of God and his laws, which springs from a just view and
real love of the divine character, leading the subjects of it to hate and shun every
thing that can offend such an holy being, and inclining them to aim at perfect
obedience. Other perversions of the Bible use the word "reverence" in place of "fear"
when referring to the fear of God. But that isn't strong enough. God is not your
buddy, or pal, the friendly man upstairs, or just the Man from Galilee. Reverence is
part of this fear, but this interpretation is not consistent with those Scriptures which
also include the word "tremble" or example. "Tremble thou earth at the presence of
the Lord." Ps. 114:7 or, "My flesh trembleth for the fear of Thee; and I am afraid of thy
judgments." Ps. 119:120 Another example is of Habakkuk. It isn't mere reverence in
which we see his fear in God's presence. Hab. 3:16. We cannot fully appreciate what it
means to fear God if we dilute it to a kind of polite respect. We should think of the fear
of God as a holy dread of displeasing Him.
This fear of God we speak of is not synonymous with terror, horror or alarm. God has
not given us "the spirit of fear" II Tim. 1:7. Rather, it is a fear born of the realization of
who God is and what He is: The absolute and eternal creator, owner, and ruler of the
Universe; infinite in holiness and power and knowledge; perfect in love and mercy
and justice. This is an awesome concept. "Who shall not fear Thee, O Lord, and
glorify Thy name" Rev. 15:4. As we begin to understand who and what God is we
learn to fear Him.
Fearing the Lord, means literally being afraid of displeasing God. God who is holy,
omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent; attributes that could go on indefinitely. He
is all these things in their perfect, absolute state. He and His authority cannot be
treated lightly. Yet in the midst of all this holiness and majesty God is equally loving
and forgiving. God is complete in his judgment of sin but gentle in His treatment of
repentant sinners. His love and forgiveness are readily available for those who
receive him, and He washes their sin away as far as the East is from the West (Ps.
103:12).
For Christians there is a right and a wrong kind of fear. He must fear God and he must
not fear man. Psalms 56:11 says "In God have I put my trust; I will not be afraid of
what man can do unto me." There are two kinds of people in the world. Those who
fear God and do not fear man and then those who fear man and do not fear God.
Matthew 10:28 "And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul:
but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell."
Why should we fear God? We have said because of who He is, but there are more
reasons. We should fear Him because to do so pleases Him Ps. 147:11, and because
it is our duty Ecc. 12:13. This attitude of reverential awe is due the Creator from His
creatures. And we should fear Him because of the many promises of blessings there
are to those who do fear God. He expresses such a longing that His children would
fear Him. Why? For their own good! "O that there were such an heart in them, that
they would fear me and keep my commandments always, that it might be well with
them, and with their children forever!" Deut. 5:29. Several times he expressed to the
disciples his desire that they would trust him and not be fearful. Matthew 8:26 "And
he saith unto them, Why are ye fearful, O ye of little faith? Then he arose, and rebuked
the winds and the sea; and there was a great calm." Mark 4:40 And he said unto them,
Why are ye so fearful? how is it that ye have no faith?" Why is it we're so afraid to
trust God with the everyday aspect of our lives and yet we've trusted him with the
future destiny of our soul? That which counts for all eternity. On the other hand, our
substitute at Calvary is also able to be our substitute for us in the everyday cares and
problems of life. Let him he angry for you; let him take the bitterness, envy, let him
take it when others hurt you. What a great substitute we have.
What is practical evidence of the fear of God? The phrase from Ex. 20:20 gives us the
answer. "that ye sin not" In other words, fear brings obedience which brings blessing.
Look back again in Deuteronomy 5:29. "Fear me... keep commandments...well with
them." In order to obey God, we need to study His word to learn what it is he requires
and then do it. God really uses and blesses us when we consistently follow His will
with no hesitation, no arguing, no complaining. Ps. 119:60.
A woman who fears God will be honored by all who appreciate value. The virtuous
woman is guided and ruled by God's principles. Favor and beauty are two
characteristics most women seek. A woman of charm is pleasant to be with and a
woman of beauty is refreshing to watch but neither make a woman of value. Charm
can manipulate and be deceitful while beauty can tempt and ruin virtue and honor.
Winning words and charming manners will draw those who admire beauty and charm;
but without true character praise will soon be turned into contempt. So, we see where
popularity and good looks may bring temporary fulfillment and happiness, but the
godly God-fearing woman has an abiding peace and joy and receives deserved,
sincere praise. Let's look briefly at an area of hindrance that keeps some people from
accepting praise from others. That area is guilt and forgetting those things that are
behind. Some people have difficulty accepting the freedom from guilt that God offers
through His forgiveness. Maybe they don't feel they are worthy, but then no one is
worthy, God grants forgiveness just the same. A woman today needs to accept God's
forgiveness. Too often she will refuse to forgive herself, therefore in reality calling
God a liar. There are many verses in the Bible on forgiveness of sin and that God
remembers them no more. We have a better memory than God does when it comes to
some things in our lives.
The burden of guilt is removed by God, but the Bible says that when a person sows,
he will reap. (Gal. 6:7) God does not remove the results of sin such as sickness due to
drugs. It has been said that when a person sows his "wild oats", it usually takes
about 20 years for the time of harvest to come. Many young people think they can go
out and have all the fun in the world and not have to pay for it. Pay day will come!!
Psalms 51 is a good chapter for steps to keep one from falling back into sin.
verse 6 desire truth
verse 7 purge and wash and you shall be clean
verse 8 make me to hear joy and gladness
verse 9 blot out iniquities
verse 10 create a clean heart and a right spirit
verse 11 stay in God's presence
verse 12 restore joy of salvation
Guilt or self-induced punishment need not be a part of life now. In the eyes of God a
forgiven person is just as pure, virtuous, and whole as if there had been no sin. The
blood of Jesus Christ cleanses us from all sin. Won't it be a blessing when we get to
heaven and "the former shall not be remembered nor come into mind." Isaiah 65:17
No more struggles with the sins of the past. Praise the Lord for the privilege of
knowing Christ as personal Saviour with the daily release of guilt through forgiveness
and then to know they are forgotten.
Some women are praised above what they deserve, but those who praise the
Proverbs woman "give her of the fruit of her hands." They give her that which she has
dearly earned and is justly due to her. "Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the
foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Prov. 14:1 A tree is known by its fruit, so if
the fruit is good, it will be praised. The same is true of the fruit of your hands. What
kind of fruit are you producing? Are your children good fruit, or "bad apples"? I Tim.
5:4 "But if any widow have children or nephews, let them learn first to shew piety
(reverence of parents accompanied with affection and devotion to their honor and
happiness) at home, and to requite (to recompense; to return an equivalent in good;
to reward) their parents: for that is good and acceptable before God."
The Proverbs woman does not applaud herself but accepts praise from others. Her
good works will proclaim her praise as her relatives and friends observe her. Prov.
15:23 ...and a word spoken in due season, how good is it! Ruth had a testimony
amongst the Jews when she came back with Naomi which was known all over
Bethlehem-Judah. Ruth 3:11 "And now, my daughter, fear not; I will do to thee all that
thou requirest; for all the city of my people doth know that thou art a virtuous
woman." If you want to know more about how to be a virtuous woman, study the life
of Ruth. What did she do that caused a whole city to know that she was a virtuous
woman? Prov. 27:2 "Let another man praise thee, and not thine own mouth; a
stranger, and not thine own lips." Ps. 49:18 "...and men will praise thee, when thou
doest will to thyself."
The success of the Proverbs woman is her relationship to God. Listed are some ways
to develop that relationship:
1. Receiving Jesus Christ as your personal Saviour
2. Let your life be controlled by the Holy Spirit (prayer)
3. Read the word of God- it will produce a joyful heart, a thankful spirit, and a
submissive attitude
The Holy Spirit is a gentle Teacher. He will lead you along as fast as you will allow
him to. He will shed light on the areas of your life that you need to give to God. He will
never force you to go against your will-- the choice is yours. God is not near as hard
on us as we are on ourselves. But, once light has been shown on something, we are
accountable for what we've been made aware of. Yielding to the Holy Spirit involves a
process of discipline. Are you walking in the spirit, or living in the flesh? Some people
can hide their sins of the flesh. We can not quit sinning. We are only able to curb it, it
cannot be cured. The Rapture is the cure. A lion may be in chains, but it is still a lion.
Paul describes what Christians could be like with the Holy Spirit's power working in
and through their lives in Galatians 5. He contrasts, "Now the works of the flesh are...
but the fruit of the Spirit is..." Gal.5:19,22 Let's look at the two words "works" and
"fruit". Works of the flesh- fruit of the Spirit. Works speaks of effort, mechanics, toils
of labor. Works result in weariness, faintness, and other frustration. It is accompanied
by much display and noise of hammers and saws. However, fruit is the result of just
receiving, yielding, and accepting. It means having no confidence in the flesh, but an
honest confession of weakness, an earnest plea for forgiveness, and a surrender to
the will of God."
The works of the flesh (clearly visible to the eye) are adultery, fornication,
uncleanness, lasciviousness, idolatry, (worshipping something in place of God)
witchcraft, (worship of devil, rock music) hatred, variance, (fightings) emulations,
(striving to be like someone else) wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, envyings,
murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like. Everyone one of these fits the
category of SELF. These works must be overcome by walking in the Spirit, being led
by the Spirit, and living in the Spirit. By yielding to God, the Fruit of the Spirit is
produced.
The Fruit of the Spirit is: love, joy, peace, (freedom from agitation) longsuffering,
gentleness, (softness of manner) goodness, faith, meekness, temperance. There are
different areas of our life in which fruit is reflected.
A. Relationship to self- personal fruit: love, joy, peace.
1. love- self sacrificing
2. joy- life based on not how well things are going, but on God.
3. peace- this has nothing to do with circumstances. Peace is that inward calm
confidence that
no matter what happens, everything between a man (or woman)
and God is right.
B. Relationship to others- outreaching fruit, long suffering, gentleness, goodness.
1. longsuffering- a gentle tolerance of others, no matter how they treat us
2. gentleness-kindness or tenderness directed toward others
3. goodness- moral excellence, spiritual excellence
C. Relationship to God- faith, meekness, temperance.
1. faith- trustworthiness, loyalty, steadfastness
2. meekness- meekness is used to describe submissiveness to the will of God,
teachable, consideration for others
3. temperance- moderation, keeping a balance
Nine parts of one fruit, all supplied by the Holy Spirit. Let's look at some things about
fruit. Fruit comes as a natural part of growth. It is seasonal. Some fruit comes as the
result of the working of God in the area of other fruit. And then, if my relationship with
God is right, then it will also be right with others.
To be sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit, a woman must have a daily
devotional life by spending time studying the Bible and by spending time in prayer.
Just as you need food for your physical body, you must feed yourself spiritually in
order to grow and develop as a Christian. I realize that mothers with young children
have a harder time finding time to spend with the Lord. If sometimes during the day
you can read just a verse, it will be something to meditate on during the day and God
can use it in your life. God understands those times. Make a conscience effort
though, to have some time with him. Prayer is to a woman's spiritual life as air is to
her physical life. It can be done anytime during the day. You don't have to be on your
knees. When my children, my prayer time would sometimes be when I was doing
dishes, cleaning, or doing laundry. Here is a simple pattern to follow when praying.
A- Adoration, or worship of God.
C- Confession of sin is necessary, it's needed to maintain fellowship with your
heavenly Father.
T- Thanksgiving to God.
S- Supplication is making our requests known to God.
Adoration is concerned with the worship of God; confession with our faults;
thanksgiving with blessings and supplication with needs.
Another formula for "becoming a woman that feareth the Lord"
M- Meet God in daily prayer
A- Allow time each day for reading the Word of God
T- Turn every moment of your life over to God in obedience
U- Understand you are to witness daily by words and actions
R- Rejoice that the Holy Spirit is in your life, indwelling and empowering you.
E- Enjoy your Christian experience
Through "ACTS" you can become a "MATURE" Christian woman. When a woman
develops her inner beauty by spending time reading the word of God and praying, she
will learn the fine art of victorious Christian living through the Holy Spirit working in
her life.
What greater praise and reward could she desire in this life than the consciousness
that she has done her best for her Saviour? What greater reward could she ask after
leaving this world than the happy privilege of living and reigning throughout the
ceaseless ages of eternity with her Saviour, the Lord Jesus Christ.
After studying all the characteristics of the virtuous woman, her talents, gifts and
accomplishments, we might think that she would be tempted to be proud, to boast, or
to glory in the praise she receives. She doesn't. Why not? She is humble. We have
studied the description of the virtuous woman and she would not be complete without
this quality. Prov. 27:2, "Let another man praise thee, and not thine own mouth."
Although she is involved in many activities that take her from place to place, her
husband is the one who is known in the gates (vs. 23). She is a crown, an adornment
and a complement to him (Prov. 12:4), not calling attention to herself. We note that
she is clothed with honor (vs. 25), and before honor is humility (Prov.15:33; 18:12).
And finally, we know she fears God. Pride and the fear of God are mutually exclusive.
Ladies' adorning will be found to praise, honor, and glorify Jesus Christ at His
appearing.
I trust you have found this study helpful. Sometimes it's hard to put on paper the
thoughts that run through your head like they do when teaching ladies, but I've tried
to do my best. When I first started teaching this study, I used just one book. Over the
years, I've added other material, taken out some I used before, and used a lot more of
my thoughts. I've listed as many of these books as I can remember. Articles from
magazines have been given credit. If ever I can be of help to you or if you have any
questions or comments about this study, don't hesitate to let me know. May God
receive the praise, honor and glory for all!
Books I read to do this study are as follows:
God's Ideal Woman by Clifford Lewis (Sword of the Lord Publication)
Beautiful for Thee (Sword of the Lord Publication)
Pattern from Proverbs 31 by Sharon Rhoades (Regular Baptist Press)
The Book of Proverbs by Peter S. Ruckman (Bible Baptist Bookstore)
A Woman that Feareth the Lord by Emalyn Spencer (This book is probably the best
one of all the books I read.)No source of availability
Recommended books and tapes:
To Train up a Child by Mike and Debi Pearl ($5.49 p/h included) Order from
The Church at Cane Creek 1000 Pearl Road, Pleasantville TN 37147
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