Children who
Attachment Theory
By Tracie Martin
have a secure
attachment, i.e.
children who
receive sensitive,
consistent and
nurturing responses
from their parents
in infancy, appear
to have a leading
edge over those
children who
have developed
an insecure
attachment...
14
raisingkids - Februar y / March 2009
H
ow many of us cringe when we hear ‘what research
suggests is…’ It is amazing how that single sentence can
culminate in a raging debate between otherwise placid moms
and dads. Research, experts and theories on raising kids can
leave parents irate and confused and many have expressed
a strong desire to be a fly on the wall to see whether these
experts practice what they preach!
It is therefore with slight trepidation that I write this article
about Attachment Theory. I have tried to keep quotes from
experts and researchers to a minimum, but the odd one or two
quotes have been necessary in order to highlight some points so
here goes…
History of Attachment Theory
John Bowlby introduced Attachment Theory in the 1950’s.
Following on from Bowlby’s work, Mary Ainsworth conducted
the first study of attachment patterns established between an
infant and the mother. This helped develop a procedure now
known as the ‘Strange Situation’. The ‘Strange Situations’’
primary purpose is to look at the interactions between the
main caregiver (usually mom or dad) and the infant, and the
development of the infant’s attachment system. Essentially
the ‘Strange Situation’ requires an infant/toddler to be placed
in a room, then left by their main caregiver and replaced with
a ‘stranger’ for a very short period of time. The effects of the
separation, noted mainly when the infant and the caregiver are
reunited, are studied. This created a better understanding of
what attachment ‘type’ the infant/toddler developed. Ainsworth
and her co-workers provided strong evidence to illustrate the
variances within the attachment ‘system’ which seem to depend
greatly on the different responses shown by the mom or dad
towards their infant.
What is Attachment Theory?
There appears to be some confusion when discussing
Attachment Theory. Firstly, people can and do get the theory
confused (understandably so) with ‘Attachment Parenting’. The
result of this may be that some parents, thinking that ‘Attachment
Parenting’ is too ‘consuming’ and also because western society
has a need for independence and separation, may then look for
alternative methods that do not involve any form of attachment
‘methods’. Therefore part of the purpose of this article is to
provide information about Attachment Theory for parents so
they can make informed decisions that do not involve a specific
parenting philosophy that may not suit their family’s needs.
So if you can, imagine Attachment Theory as an umbrella
term, underneath which subgroups defining the different
attachment ‘types’ form. There are two main types of attachment
- Secure Attachment and Insecure Attachment, with a third less
common type known as Disorganised Attachment. Within the first
two main groups there are further subgroups, but for the purpose
of this article just the two main groups will be discussed.
Neurological research has helped us to understand how the
wiring of the brain helps shape a person’s behaviour. Researchers
now understand that a baby is born with approximately 15%
of the brain structure in place, with the further 85% of the
neural pathways forming over the next few years. These neural
pathways are like a blueprint of a house and are ‘drawn’ from the
experiences and communication an infant/toddler receives from
their caregiver. The caregiver is responsible for exposing their
raisingkids - Februar y / March 2009
15
Attachment and a child’s development
Approximately 65% of the children in the western world are
securely attached with the further 35% falling into the insecure/
disorganized attachment group. Children who have a secure
attachment type, i.e. children who receive sensitive, consistent
and nurturing responses from their parents in infancy, appear to
have a leading edge over those children who have developed an
insecure attachment type.
Some characteristics and issues of a child who has developed
an insecure attachment include:
1. They are more likely to perceive the world in a conditional
way.
2. They tend to have difficulty with the regulation of their
emotions, as they have come to learn that their main
caregiver’s responses are typically inconsistent.
3. They tend to show more anxious or angry behaviour and
have more limited emotional awareness.
4. They learn to mask their true feelings out of fear of the
type of response they may get. For example, in a stressful
situation such as separation they can suffer from anxiety
internally, but will display behaviour such as ignoring the
mother on her return.
5. They tend to be less compliant as toddlers, but the irony
is that given that they have come to expect inconsistent
responses from their parent, they tend to behave in a way
that will continue this pattern to ensure they continue getting
inconsistent responses from other adults around them too.
Some characteristics and issues of a child who has developed
a secure attachment include:
1. They will be able to establish a strong sense of self.
2. They will be able to explore the world and their environment
knowing they have a safe place to come back to.
3. As toddlers/preschoolers these children tend to have more
confidence in the way they go about completing tasks and
interacting with others.
4. They tend to be better at social interactions and getting on
with others in a way that is co-operative and empathetic.
5. They have more resilient egos.
Attachment Theory and Maternal Instinct
One of the things I found most helpful having studied
Attachment Theory is that the information was not moralistic
and condescending, but provided some insight that helped me
understand the role of maternal instinct. For example, one
parenting fallacy seems to be that if you respond too much or
too quickly to a baby’s cry, you will be spoiling your child and
‘creating a rod for your own back’, yet my maternal instinct told
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raisingkids - Februar y / March 2009
me to pick my baby up when he was crying. Research completed
by Ainsworth (1972) suggested that consistently responding to
a crying infant in the early months resulted in a happier toddler.
Research also showed that infants rely on communication
of facial expressions, gestures and vocalisations from their
main caregiver to help regulate emotions and gain further
understanding of their environment and how safe it is.
So, Attachment Theory is not new or the latest craze. It is
however, being more clearly understood especially in conjunction
with further research into brain development and the impact of
the ‘hard wiring’ of the brain in the first several years of life.
For optimal infant development, receiving sensitive consistent
responses so that infants may predict how their parents will
behave toward them is as important to them as feeding and
sleeping. The infant needs these responses so that the brain will
be ‘wired’ to help achieve a secure attachment and therefore
a foundation of psychological well being may be established.
Infants do not know how to manipulate their parents, but instead
they rely on their parents to help (through their responses to
distress, etc) in the regulation of emotion, as they do not have
the necessary skills and abilities to do this on their own. For
example, it is now understood that if an infant is left crying in
a distressed state for a period of time, such as 20 to 30 minutes,
their cortisol (a stress hormone) levels may potentially rise to a
level that is similar to that when experiencing physically pain.
No one can be a perfect parent all the time. Parenting is hard
and demanding, but by acquiring a basic understanding as to why
it is helpful for a child to receive responses that are predictable
and safe, can help a parent be mindful of how best to develop a
‘secure attachment’ with their child. It is also important to know
that these responses are discussed as being ‘helpful’ or ‘best
practice’ for the majority of the time, rather than all the time.
I have dealt with many clients who have left their babies to
cry themselves to sleep even though this would often feel wrong
to them, but they were told that if they did not, they would be
making matters worse for themselves and their baby would be
‘spoilt’. This is simply not the case. My clients have also felt
guilty because having left the baby to cry, they have subsequently
learnt that it may not have been the most helpful thing to do for
the baby (unless it was necessary for the mom or dad to get some
emotional time out from the baby out of concern for an unsafe
outcome). It is therefore very important for people to know that
an attachment type is not permanently established and although
the first three years of an infants life are very important, it is
never too late to change the way you would like to parent. The
saying ‘we do differently when we know differently’ is very
telling, so I would love you to take this information, explore it
further if it feels right for you and feel empowered that it is quite
fine to respond to your baby.
4VYL[V`Z[OHU`V\JHUL]LYPTHNPUL
For more information, visit Tracie’s website at:
www.dreamparenting.com
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s!&OURWAYS!#ROSSING!!!s!(EATHWAY!!!s!-APONYA!!!s!0ARK!-EADOWS!!!s!3ANDTON!#ITY!!!s!3TONERIDGE!!!
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infant/toddler to the experiences that will establish an attachment
type. Apparently everyone has an attachment type and this plays
an important part in how we perceive the world.