Melissa Gies
COMM 460-01
Dr. Johnson
FACEBOOK AND BREAKUPS
The use of Facebook in romantic relationships has caused relationships to be
thought of and displayed in new ways. Additionally, it has effected the way people
communicate within the relationship, as well as how the relationship is perceived by and
communicated to other people. This study will focus on the effects Facebook use can
have not only on the development and sustainment of current relationships, but how it
affects break-ups and the process of moving on after the relationship has ended.
This communication phenomenon is important to study because a breakup on
Facebook often becomes a public event and source of gossip. According to Fox, Warber,
& Makstaller (2013), "there are many opportunities on Facebook to alleviate or
exacerbate the sting of a breakup" (p. 34). Facebook allows the person to continue to
monitor the ex's page and see when they are in a new relationship, and vice-versa. This
could cause unhealthy behaviors and potentially prevent or slow the process of moving
on.
Facebook is the most commonly used social networking site in the world, with
over 900 million users (Fox & Warber, 2013, p. 3). Almost half of all Facebook users log
on at least 6 days each week. College students in particular spend a lot of time on
Facebook, "averaging 1 to 2 hours on the site each day" (Kalpidou, Costin, & Morris,
2011, as quoted by Fox, Warber, & Makstaller, 2013, pg. 3)
Facebook allows people to stay connected when they are physically apart. People
can supposedly learn a lot from visiting one's Facebook page such as the person's
interests, where they work, where they go to school, who they're friends with, and
whether or not they're single. In fact, one's "relationship status" is taken rather seriously.
The act of going "Facebook Official" (FBO) is seen as a big deal and is a decision that
has to be made by both partners to communicate to their social groups that they are
exclusive. This newfound social norm of publicizing a relationship has been shown to
cause pressure and stress in the relationship both on and offline.
In addition to the pressure of making the relationship public, Facebook allows
users to constantly monitor what their partners are doing online simply by visiting their
page, which often provokes suspicion and can cause conflict. Kerner (2011) notes that
Facebook can cause temptations to physically or emotionally cheat on their current
partner by allowing them to connect to exes or other people they might be attracted to
online. If one's partner were to discover this, further suspicion and distrust would result.
Lopez (2012) states in his blog that Facebook opens up a new world of jealousy and
jumping to conclusions, and that it's been damaging to relationships.
The purpose of this study is to discover if having access to an ex's page postbreakup affects how one continues to use Facebook and their feelings related to the
breakup.
THEORETICAL GROUNDING
Uncertainty Reduction Theory
Uncertainty reduction is achieved when someone attains enough knowledge about
another person to understand what kind of person they are and predict the outcome of
future interactions (Griffin, 2009, p. 127). Other studies have found that Facebook plays a
role in reducing uncertainty in the developing stages of the relationship by providing
access to information disclosed on their page. According to the text, "as uncertainty
levels decline, information-seeking behavior decreases" (Griffin, 2009, p. 127). However,
if suspicion or uncertainty arises again in the relationship, one might engage in
information-seeking behavior by monitoring their partner's page.
A breakup causes new levels of uncertainty to arise about the ex and past
relationship. This regained uncertainty can cause a distressed person to constantly check
up on their ex's page to seek information that reduces uncertainty. However, in this way,
uncertainty is often increased instead of decreased.
LITERATURE REVIEW
Use of Facebook
Communication
A focus group study was conducted by Fox, Warber, & Makstaller (2013) to
assess the role of social networking sites (SNSs) in the development and sustainment of
romantic relationships as compared to Knapp's Relational Stage Model. The study also
aimed to evaluate how people felt about going "Facebook Official", the steps that lead to
this decision, and the effects it can have on the relationship. It was found that Facebook
has dramatically changed the way people become involved in relationships. Participants
stated that Facebook was the primary means of communication during the experimenting
stage in the development of the relationship because it was easier and less intimidating
than face-to-face interactions. This shows that Facebook has become an integral and
necessary communication tool for those hoping to begin a relationship with someone.
Another study by Coyne, Stockdale, Busby, Iverson, & Grant (2011) surveyed
1,039 people in relationships to see what forms of technology couples are using the most
to communicate with each other using a questionnaire. Surprisingly, participants said
they did not frequently use social networking sites to communicate with their partners.
Instead, people in romantic relationships used cell phones and texting more than anything
else to communicate with each other (pg. 155). Through further research I found that
couples tend to use social media as a means of communicating about their patners rather
than directly to them for the benefit of their online audience.
Expression
People also use Facebook as a means of expression. Affection is one thing that is
commonly and easily expressed on Facebook. Affection can be anything from "liking" or
complimenting someone's photo to writing something nice on their wall. Through a study
it was found that those who are more satisfied in their relationships are more likely to use
media to express affection and less likely to use it to bring up a subject of confrontation
(Coyne et al, 2011, pg. 157). Another study conducted by Mansson and Myers intended
to assess the ways college students show affection for their close friends through
Facebook. Affection is designed in this study as "intentionally enacted expressions of
'fondness and intense positive regard' (Floyd, 2006, p. 4)" (Mansson & Myers, 2013, p.
157). Results showed that women were more likely to express affection on Facebook than
men and regard such expressions as more appropriate than men. It was also found that the
higher the extent participants typically express affection, the more likely they are to
express affection on Facebook and perceive expressing affection on Facebook as more
appropriate.
Facebook also allows users to express personal details about themselves and elect
to display certain things on their profiles. Papp, Danielewicz, and Cayemberg conducted
a study intended to assess the degree that Facebook use and displays affects levels of
relationship satisfaction between partners. For the method, 59 couples attended two lab
sessions where they answered questionnaires to gather information about their Facebook
use, displays on their profile, and conversations about Facebook had within the
relationship. It was found that partners in a relationship tended to act very similarly in the
way they used Facebook and displayed the relationship with each other (ie linked
relationship status, profile picture, etc.) on each their profiles.
Overall, Facebook is used to facilitate communication within the early stages of a
relationship and allows for different forms of expression. Interpretation of these forms of
expression can vary in a relationship, and most likely after a breakup as well.
Causes for conflict and disagreement
The pressures of becoming Facebook Official
Publicizing a relationship on Facebook in the form of a relationship status linking
partners' profiles is known as going "Facebook Official" (or FBO). Participants in the
study conducted by Fox et al (2013) agreed that going FBO is a sign of exclusive dating
and is seen as a social and interpersonal statement of commitment. Additionally, going
FBO is considered a big step in a relationship and occurs after at least several weeks to
months of exclusive dating. Relationships that aren’t listed as FBO are often viewed with
skepticism and not taken as seriously by others (Fox et al, 2013, pg. 24). Making a
relationship public on Facebook makes it a topic of social discussion, and it's common for
people to have face-to-face discussions about others' FB relationship status. Because of
this, a couple "must acknowledge that their online status will define the legitimacy of
their relationship offline as well" (Fox, et al, 2013, pg. 25).
The fact that relationships aren't taken seriously unless they are on Facebook puts
pressure on a couple to agree to place a label on their relationship. Additional pressure is
created by making the relationship public for other people to view and judge. This kind of
pressure can lead to conflict within relationships or cause a break up. Even after breaking
up though, pressure could still exist in other forms, such as the pressure for the person to
make it look (on FB) like they don't care or that they've moved on.
Differences between men and women
It's no secret that Facebook often causes unnecessary drama in relationships
causing conflict and decreased satisfaction, but there are differences between how men
and women perceive such conflict. Fox et al (2013) found that although the expectation
of going FBO has led to new social pressures for both men and women in the
relationship, men are more likely than women to report having issues with their partner
pressuring them about their FB status. Male participants also reported pressure due to
affection expressed by their female partners over FB and the expectation that they show
affection back (pg. 27). Participants stated that they thought FB was burdensome for
relationships because it causes nitpicking and little fights to break out and can be
damaging to the relationship offline.
Another study conducted by Fox & Warber (2013) was designed to evaluate how
young adults create meaning about making a relationship FBO using an online survey.
The survey measured the participant's behavior in initiating a romantic relationship, as
well as how the participant defines going FBO, their experiences with FBO, and their
reasons for going FBO. Results of this study found that women, more than men, see
going FBO as a sign of seriousness, commitment, and exclusivity in the relationship. It
was also found that women see going FBO as a way to get attention from their peer group
both online and offline. Men were less likely than women to view going FBO as a sign of
serious commitment and exclusivity and more likely to think that a person may be
seeking other romantic partners regardless of the relationship status on their profile.
Papp et al (2012) found that greater relationship satisfaction occurred for males
when they were included in their partner's profile picture, and for females when the
relationship was linked and displayed on the male's page. Females are more likely than
males to be dissatisfied with the relationship display on Facebook to the point where it
causes conflict and problems in the relationship. Fox & Warber (2013) argue that a
possible explanation for relationship dissatisfaction due to disagreements about going
FBO is that the relationship might have a different meaning to each partner and placing a
label on the relationship causes problems (pg. 6).
Conflicts in relationships often arise from disagreements about the status and
displays of the relationship on a partner's profile. These conflicts can lead to
dissatisfaction in the relationship eventually causing a break up. Women appear to be
more sensitive to Facebook displays than men, which brings about the question of
whether FB affects moving on for women more than men.
Facebook creeping and partner monitoring
According to Fox et al (2013), Facebook was found to be often used as a source
of information about the potential romantic partner and a way of reducing uncertainty
about that person. When Facebook "creeping" (which refers to scoping out another
person's page without them knowing or leaving any indication such as a wall post or
comment), participants reported that they were most interested in seeing whether or not
the target was single, their pictures, and who they were friends with (Fox et al, 2013, pg.
16). Participants stated that they most commonly judge romantic partners by their FB
pictures.
A study conducted by Gershon (2011) about students' use of media in breaking up
with their partners found that pictures are seen as a reliable source of information since
anyone can take a picture and post it on FB. Pictures allow people to see a glimpse into
the target's social life and interactions. Facebook "stalkers" will often dissect photographs
and wall posts, checking the profiles of other people who posted on the person's wall or
are tagged in their pictures (pg. 887).
Another study conducted by Darvell, Walsh, and White was meant to assess the
extent of which partners in romantic relationships constantly checked one another's
Facebook pages. Results of the survey indicated that a higher amount of Facebook logins
per day predicts a greater intention to frequently check their partner's page. Additionally,
it was found that participants who had been in the relationship for a shorter amount of
time checked their partner's page more often than those who had been together longer
(perhaps as a way of reducing uncertainty). Finally, participants who had a lower level of
trust in their partner had a greater intent to frequently check their partner's page.
A study by Muise, Christofides, and Desmarais (2009) surveyed the Facebook use
of 308 people between the ages of 17-24 to assess feelings of jealousy associated with the
participants' Facebook use. It was found that individuals who spend more time on
Facebook experienced more feelings of jealousy and associated behaviors. These results
suggest that FB exposes people to ambiguous information about their partner that could
provoke jealousy. This increased jealousy is likely to lead to even more monitoring of a
partner's page, which in turn leads to more jealousy and suspicion. Muise et al (2009)
refers to this process as a feedback loop (pg. 443). Gershon (2011) described a similar
process, where participants reported that finding out unsatisfying information kept them
on Facebook searching for more, and that the only way out of this "circular experience"
was to deactivate their Facebooks. Not only did deleting Facebook give them no way to
seek out information, but it also took away their desire to do so.
According to Gershon's study (2011), Facebook users expressed that they found
information on FB hard to interpret and that the site "provides both too much information
and incomplete data" (pg. 867). It "gave them enough information to be curious, but not
enough information to be satisfied, and never enough insight to know another's exact
intentions or desires" (Gershon, 2011, pg. 888). Partner monitoring behavior can become
an unhealthy habit and can be detrimental to the success of the relationship. Upon
breaking up, monitoring one's partner becomes monitoring one's ex which hinder moving
on from the breakup.
METHODOLOGY
I have chosen to do a quantitative study for my research in the form of a survey. I
want to discover if having access to an ex's FB page (and/or vice-versa) post-breakup
influences way they use Facebook and/or how they feel about the breakup.
H1: Participants with a higher level of access to their ex's page are more likely to
continuously check for new information on their page and harbor negative feelings about
the breakup for a longer period of time.
H2: The more access the ex has to the participant's page, the more likely the
participant is to post things they want their ex to see and hide things they don't want their
ex to see.
Participants
Participants of my study will include male and female college students between
the ages of 17-24. I will include participants of all class levels however will need a
similar amount from each class so results are not biased in any way. Participants must be
Facebook users and have an ex who is also on FB. I've chosen to study college students
because they spend a lot of time on Facebook compared to other generations.
Procedure
I will gather data through the distribution of an anonymous online survey. The
survey will focus on participants past and present experiences with having an ex on
Facebook and their Facebook use.
Conclusion
The purpose of my study is to discover if having access to an ex's page postbreakup affects how one continues to use Facebook and their feelings related to the
breakup. This research is important because Facebook use post-breakup could trigger
unhealthy and obsessive feelings and behaviors. The goals of my research are to
determine whether certain types of FB use post-breakup are destructive to our emotional
well-being.
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