Being(a(teen(today(
•  It’s(tougher(than(in(our(day(
Building(Resilience(in(Teens(
Boris(Prigmore(
•  Plenty(more(pi=alls(
–  Facebook(/(YouTube(
–  Exams(/(Coursework(pressures(
–  Media(conformity((Gadgets)(
–  Body(Image(pressures(
(
•  More(pressure(on(Parents(
All(rights(reserved(Boris(the(Coach.com(
Pi=alls(
Less(life(experience(
(
means(pi=alls(can(hit(
hard...(
All(rights(reserved(Boris(the(Coach.com(
•  Parental(expectaKons(
All(rights(reserved(Boris(the(Coach.com(
Pi=alls(
•  But(you(can(help(them(
out(of(a(hole...(
All(rights(reserved(Boris(the(Coach.com(
Changes(in(Teen(Years(
•  PreMteens(are(compliant...((
•  Brain(Changes((MyelinaKon)(
•  Less(able(to(recognise(emoKons(
–  Use(quiet(voice(to(be(heard(
•  Sleep(PaQerns(Changes(
Changes(in(Teen(Years(
•  Boys((
–  It’s(about(ACTIONS(not(emoKons(
•  Timed(tasks(/(compeKKon(works(well(
–  6(M(7(Testosterone(surges(a(day(
–  Shoulders(shoot(outwards(
–  Externalise(anger(and(make(up(quickly(
–  Angry(fists(can(help(
–  Day(night(reversal(
All(rights(reserved(Boris(the(Coach.com(
Changes(in(Teen(Years(
•  Girls(
–  Brain(develops(first(then(body(changes(
–  Hormones(/(Menark(
–  It’s(about(feeling(/(emoKons(THEN(acKons(
–  Girls(share(personal(informaKon(with(each(other((
–  Hold(on(to(things(for(longer(
–  Less(freedom((sleepovers(no(longer(guarenteed)(
All(rights(reserved(Boris(the(Coach.com(
How(to(help(
•  Sleep(–(Get(a(rouKne(/(Warm(room(/(Bath(/(
No(screen(use(1(hr(before(bed(
•  Pick(your(baQles((
–  How(important(is(that(Kdy(room?(
•  Praise/explain(the(behaviour(you(want((
–  Mickey(Mouse(
All(rights(reserved(Boris(the(Coach.com(
All(rights(reserved(Boris(the(Coach.com(
Online(Time(
(Cyber)(bullying(
•  Kids(spend(43(hours(a(month(online((
–  We(assume(about(19(
•  EmoKonal(and(can(feel(24(/(7(
•  Can(feel(like(many(more(people(
•  Don’t(have(to(be(the(iniKal(poster/tweeter(to(be(
involved(
•  Internet(Safety(is(a(life(skill(
•  Warning(Signs(
–  Depression(
–  Withdrawal(from(social(situaKons(
–  Spending(more(and(more(Kme(online(
All(rights(reserved(Boris(the(Coach.com(
All(rights(reserved(Boris(the(Coach.com(
Cyberbullying(–(How(to(help(
•  Be(there(for(your(kids((explain(bullying(is(never(
right)(
•  Don’t(Judge(/(Over(React(
•  Talk(to(the(school(
•  Keep(records/screenshots(of(things(sent(and(
when(
•  Not(opening(emails/texts(works(
•  So(does(blocking(people/accounts(
All(rights(reserved(Boris(the(Coach.com(
Cyberbullying(–(How(to(help(
Tell(children(NEVER(to(agree(to(meet(someone(
Tell(Kids(NEVER(to(share(log(in(informaKon(
Supervise(online(Kme((SKck(to(your(guns(on(this)(
Remove(internet(enabled(computers(from(
bedrooms(
•  Have(older(cousins(act(as(Cyber(Mentors(
•
•
•
•
–  That(picture(isn’t(appropriate(for(Facebook(
All(rights(reserved(Boris(the(Coach.com(
Resilience(
DifficulKes(
!
“The!capacity!to!recover!
quickly!from!difficul7es;!
toughness”!
!
“The!stuff!there!to!stop!
those!who!don’t!want!it!
enough”!
All(rights(reserved(Boris(the(Coach.com(
You( ( ( ( ( ( ( (Not(you(
All(rights(reserved(Boris(the(Coach.com(
Good(News(
•  It’s(a(thinking(Style...((
•  You(CAN(LEARN(THIS(
•  It’s(simple(AND(takes(pracKce(
All(rights(reserved(Boris(the(Coach.com(
All(rights(reserved(Boris(the(Coach.com(
Resilience(Myth(
Never(Show(EmoKon(
About(the(individual(
Resilience(Fact(
Regulate(EmoKon(
About(individuals(and(
relaKonships(
Must(handle(everything(on( Asking(for(help(is(a(resilient(
your(own(
strategy(
Always(act(fast(
Know(when(to(slow(down(
Accomplish(superhuman(
Bounce(back(
feats(
Always(fully(composed(
Not(always(preQy((Muddling(
through)(
Have(it(or(you(don’t((
Everyone(can(develop(it(
It’s(a(desKnaKon(
It’s(a(process(
All(rights(reserved(Boris(the(Coach.com(
Self(Awareness(
•  Aware(of(your(behaviours,(emoKons(and(
thoughts(
•  NoKce(your(thinking(paQerns(
•  Aware(of(any(thought(paQerns(that(aren’t(
helpful(
Resilience(is(made(up(of(
•
•
•
•
•
•
SelfMawareness(
SelfMregulaKon((
OpKmism(((
Mental(Flexibility(
Character(strengths/Self(Efficacy((
ConnecKon((
All(rights(reserved(Boris(the(Coach.com(
Self(regulaKon(
•  Able(to(regulate(your(emoKons(and(
behaviours(to(achieve(your(goals(
•  Express(emoKons(appropriately(
–  Not(be(overwhelmed(by(them(
•  Grit(to(keep(going(
–  E.g.(“I’m(going(to(do(so(well(they(won’t(believe(
I’m(the(same(person”(
All(rights(reserved(Boris(the(Coach.com(
All(rights(reserved(Boris(the(Coach.com(
OpKmism(
•  RealisKc(opKmism(
•  Learn(to(look(for(the(good(stuff(
•  Know(what(you(can(control(
•  Maintain(Hope(
•  Have(confidence(in(yourself(
•  Look(for(silver(linings(
All(rights(reserved(Boris(the(Coach.com(
Know(your(strengths(
•  Know(your(strengths(and(how(you(
use(them(to(overcome(challenges/
meet(goals(
•  Have(faith(in(your(strengths,(skills(
and(abiliKes(
•  What(strengths(did(you(use(to(
overcome(X(challenge?(
•  Take(healthy(risks(
All(rights(reserved(Boris(the(Coach.com(
Mental(Agility(
•  Think(flexibility(and(accurately(
•  Take(other(Points(of(View(
•  Find(and(understand(issues(in(your(
way(
•  Be(willing(to(try(new(approaches(
•  Think(of(someone(you(admire,(how(
may(they(deal(with(this?(
All(rights(reserved(Boris(the(Coach.com(
ConnecKon(
•  Be(able(to(build(strong(relaKonships(
•  PosiKve(and(effecKve(
communicaKon(
•  Empathy(
•  Willingness(to(ask(for(help(
•  SupporKng(others(
All(rights(reserved(Boris(the(Coach.com(
Ways(to(Help(–(Your(ABC’s(
My(Mate(Tim(
• AcKvaKng(Event(
•  AcKvaKng(Event(=(You’re(not(good(enough(
• Beliefs(about(the(event(
•  Belief(=(I’ll(get(so(fit(they’ll(have(to(take(me(
• Consequence(of(those(thoughts(
•  Consequence(=(Woke(me(up(at(6am(every(day(
All(rights(reserved(Boris(the(Coach.com(
Ways(to(Help(
•  Minimise(Catastrophic(thinking(
•  Guided(MeditaKon(REALLY(WORKS((
(...and(they(love(it(
•  Controlled(Breathing((...in(for(5(out(for(7(
(
•  NoKce(your(inner(criKc...(Is(it(bringing(you(
down(or(building(you(up?((
•
(
All(rights(reserved(Boris(the(Coach.com(
Ways(to(Help(
•  Avoid(generalisaKons....(
•  Who(do(you(see?(Would(you(invest(in(them?(
(
(
All(rights(reserved(Boris(the(Coach.com(
All(rights(reserved(Boris(the(Coach.com(
Ways(to(help(
•  Provide(a(safe(place(to(discuss(things(
•  Help(them(work(out(the(answers(
•  Encourage(them(to(find(healthy(challenges/
goals(
Ways(to(build(Self(Esteem(
•  Boost(your(child's(understanding(of(their(
Strengths(
•  Praise(the(effort,(be(specific(
•  Believe(in(them(
•  Try(hQp://selfesteemgames.mcgill.ca(
•  Give(PerspecKve((
–  “I(know(you’ll(get(through(this”(
•  “If(you’re(going(through(hell(Keep(going”(
All(rights(reserved(Boris(the(Coach.com(
Ways(to(build(Self(Esteem(
•  Build(Self(Efficacy(
–  Knowing(they(CAN(handle(whatever(comes(their(
way(
•  This(results(in(Self(Esteem(
All(rights(reserved(Boris(the(Coach.com(
–  Churchill(
All(rights(reserved(Boris(the(Coach.com(
Things(you(can(do(to(help(
•  Teach(your(kids(Goal(Seong(
–  Goldilocks(goals((not(too(hard(or(easy)(
–  Specific(&(AQainable((
–  Keep(Steps(
–  IdenKfy(PotenKal(Obstacles(
–  IdenKfy(Workarounds((flexible(thinking)(
All(rights(reserved(Boris(the(Coach.com(
Things(you(can(do(to(help(
•  Silver(Linings(game(
–  State(the(situaKon...((
followed(by(
–  One(thing(I(did(well(was...(
•  E.g.(I(found(the(match(tough,(one(thing(I(did(
well(was(passing(to(Georgia(
Things(you(can(do(to(help(
•  Providing(a(safe(space(for(conversaKon(
–  Talk(about(stuff(that’s(not(important((films,(tv,(
etc...)(
–  Find(out(what(they(are(interested(in?(
•  Who(are(your(friends?(What(do(you(like(about(these(
friends?(
•  What’s(your(favourite(subject?(What(do(you(like(about(
it?(
–  DO(NOT(OVER(REACT...(
All(rights(reserved(Boris(the(Coach.com(
What(if(you’re(worried?(
•  Ask(some(quesKons(
All(rights(reserved(Boris(the(Coach.com(
Some(pi=alls(
•  Being(Busy...((
–  Make(Kme(for(this(stuff(
•  Say(you(are(concerned(
•  Ask(if(we(can(talk(about(it(
•  How(would(you(like(me(to(take(this(forward?(
•  Not(Really(listening(
–  Quiet(mind(
–  Focus(on(what’s(being(said(
•  Not(Staying(calm(
–  Voice(Mirroring(is(useful(
All(rights(reserved(Boris(the(Coach.com(
All(rights(reserved(Boris(the(Coach.com(
Things(you(can(do(to(help(
•  How(I(did(it(journal(
–  Working(with(your(child,(look(at(the(strengths(they(
used(to(achieve(any(given(goal(
•  GraKtude(Journal(
–  Every(day(5(things(to(be(grateful(for...(No(repeKKons(
in(a(week(
Things(you(can(do(to(help(
•  Seong(a(strengths(based(goal(
–  IdenKfy(1(acKon(per(day(to(stretch(that(strength(
–  Check(off(daily(progress(
–  Weekend(review(and(seong(of(next(acKons(
–  At(end(of(week(3(discuss(accomplishments((
–  Praise(or(reward(them(for(a(job(well(done(
•  GraKtude(LeQer(to(someone(special(to(you(
–  It(is(the(hear=elt(descripKon(of(the(meaning(and(
pleasure(that(you(derived(from(the(relaKonship(or(an(
instance.(
All(rights(reserved(Boris(the(Coach.com(
Things(you(can(do(to(help(
•  Treasure(Box(Game(
–  Aim(to(develop(posiKve(thinking(paQerns(
–  Make(a(treasure(box...((
•  At(dinner(everyone(writes(one(posiKve(thing(from(the(
day(
•  Twice(a(week(children(take(turns(reading(out(the(
treasures(
•  E.g.(I’m(thankful(for(my(friend(Gene(or(I’m(glad(John(
asked(for(help(the(other(way(
All(rights(reserved(Boris(the(Coach.com(
All(rights(reserved(Boris(the(Coach.com(
Things(you(can(do(to(help(
•  Set(increasing(challenges(
–  Building(Self(efficacy(
–  Facing(fear(and(succeeding(gives(you(evidence(of(
your(self(worth((
–  Transferable(confidence(
–  Tell(them(to(work(it(out(
–  Richard(Branson(les(to(navigate(home(from(the(
woods(by(Parents(
All(rights(reserved(Boris(the(Coach.com(
Famous(Failures(
•  Post(IT(notes(
(
•  Thomas(Edison(
(
Jack(Andraka(
•  Click(Link(below:(
(
All(rights(reserved(Boris(the(Coach.com(
Jack’s(Thoughts(
All(rights(reserved(Boris(the(Coach.com(
Story(of(Jack’s(Success(
•  “Hard(Work(and(a(ton(of(Failures”(
•  Focused(on(a(goal(
•  “Make(sure(to(be(passionate(about(whatever(it(is(
you(get(into,(because(otherwise(you(won’t(put(the(
right(amount(of(work(into(it.”(
•  Had(real(Grit(
(
•  Parents(supported(his(passion...((
•  ...but(told(him(to(work(stuff(out(
All(rights(reserved(Boris(the(Coach.com(
All(rights(reserved(Boris(the(Coach.com(
What(did(his(Parents(say/do(
•  “We're(not(a(superMathleKc(family.(We(don't(
go(to(much(football(or(baseball...(
Support(Dreams(&(Passions(
•  Nuture(their(dreams(
•  Focus(them(on(their(Passions(/(Interests(
•  Instead(we(have(a(million([science](magazines,(
so(we(sit(around(the(table(and(talk(about(how(
people(came(up(with(their(ideas(and(what(we(
would(do(differently."(
All(rights(reserved(Boris(the(Coach.com(
Recap(
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Teen(Kmes(are(tough(
Body(Changes(/(What’s(my(place(in(Society(
Sleep(–(No(Screens(1hr(before(bed(
Bullying(–(Stay(safe(especially(online(
Help(build(your(childs(self(efficacy(
Listen(well...((Quiet(mind,(No(Judgement)(
Praise(the(effort(
Know(your(ABCs(
Point(your(kids(towards(their(passions(&(Support(
their(goals(
All(rights(reserved(Boris(the(Coach.com(
All(rights(reserved(Boris(the(Coach.com(
And(last(but(by(no(means(least(
•  All(they(need(is(love!(
All(rights(reserved(Boris(the(Coach.com(
Thank(You!(
•  What(are(your(QuesKons?(
•  Email(me(for(support:(
Boris@BoristheCoach.com(
All(rights(reserved(Boris(the(Coach.com(