Connector
NH DCYF’S FOSTER, ADOPTIVE AND RELATIVE RESOURCE CARE NEWS
Division for Children, Youth and Families - NH Department of Health and Human Services
May - June 2013
7th ANNUAL FOSTER CARE MONTH CELEBRATION
Jan Lessard, Bethany Christian Services
We were blessed with perfect weather on Saturday,
May 18th for the 7th annual foster, adoptive, and kinship
family celebration. Spaulding Youth Center once again
allowed us to join them on their beautiful campus. The
staff at Spaulding and over 50 additional volunteers were
instrumental in helping this event to be a great time for
all who attended.
The day began with welcomes from Spaulding’s CEO,
Susan Calegari, DCYF Administrator, Eileen Mullen and
NH Foster and Adoptive Parent president, Jackie Capello, and Mrs. New Hampshire, Tess Conroy. All attendees
were provided with tickets that they could use for chances to win one of the over 50 donated items for the event.
Following the brief opening program, the children and
their families were treated to a great lunch provided by
Elks Club 1280 and enjoyed a number of child and family friendly activities.
Teenagers had the opportunity to climb and rappel at
Spaulding’s rope course with Spaulding’s trained staff
members. Little ones bounced in a bouncy house, and
enjoyed the swings on the playground. This year Life is
Good Playmakers set up a number of fun activities on
the green in the middle
of the campus. The Playmakers also helped with
face and nail painting and
hair braiding. The dining area was organized
into several craft stations
that provided a variety
of crafts opportunities
for the children with volunteers to assist them in
their creative endeavors.
This year we had two visiting ponies from Back in the Saddle as well as an outdoor
educational table staffed by Squam Lakes Science Center.
The children were treated to specialty balloons by Buster
the Balloon Boy and once again had the opportunity to
learn how to play chess. Families were photographed and
provided with a photo to remember the day and there
was a special make up area for Mothers and the older
teens to enjoy a professional Arbonne makeover.
Throughout the day attendees enjoyed popcorn, nachos, chips, drinks and ice cream donated by Cindy and
Bob Thomas, The Altrusa Club, Chilis, McDonalds,
Common Man and Tilt’n Diner.
At the end of our day we had a talent show featuring
the amazing talents of several of the children. Lastly we
had the drawings for a number of wonderful donated
items given by our sponsors.
Thanks to the following sponsors: Harry & David;
Wendy’s Wonderful Kids, BAE Systems Focus Group,
The Common Man, Altrusa Club, Tilt’n Diner, Chili’s,
McDonalds, Arbonne, Child and Family Services, New
Hampshire Foster and Adoptive Parent Association,
Bethany Christian Services, the New Hampshire Division for Children, Youth and Families, Bob’s Discount
Furniture, Chucksters, Funspot, Grace Community Free
Church, Anonymous, Hart’s Turkey
Farm, Homestead/Fratello’s, Jordan’s
Furniture, Life is Good, Meadowbrook,
Montshire Museum, Oblong Basket, Patrick’s Pub, Pizzeria Uno, Price Chopper,
Prior Attire, Salon K, Shaw’s, Soulful
Touch Massage Therapy, Starbucks, Target, Wendy’s, Wendy’s Wonderful Kids,
Wine’ing Butcher, WWE and the Community and Faith Based Initiative grant.
Special thanks to the planning committee who began working months before
this event to make sure it was fun for all. This event
Celebration
continued on page 15
2
Table of Contents
Connector
Foster Care Celebration.............................................Page 1
Editorial Board
Message From The Director.....................................Page 3
Kids in Court..............................................................Page 4
Remembering John McDermott
Dear Carrie Caregiver................................................Page 5
Share Your Job Knowledge
Graduation Photos Wanted
Ann Abram
Jessica Bond
Mary Breen
Kathleen Companion
Kathleen Desmarais
Janet Kohlhase
Catherine Meister
Myriam Roeder
Sheryl Tedford
E&TP...........................................................................Page 6
Save the Date
NH FAPA
NH Department of
Health & Human Services
Heart Gallery...............................................................Page 7
.
Nicholas A. Toumpas
Adoption Corner........................................................Page 8
Welcome Newly Licensed Foster Parents
Commissioner
www.dhhs.nh.gov/dcyf
Annual DCYF Teen Conference.............................Page 9
Welcome My First Foster Son................................Page 10
Reunification
News Around The State..........................................Page 11
Life is What You Make It........................................Page 14
Mission Statement
To join communities
and families
in providing opportunities
for citizens
to achieve health
and independence
DCYF - New Hampshire Department of Health and Human Services
3
Message From The Director
Warm Greetings to All!
To all birth mothers, grandmothers, mothers who foster, surrogate mothers, mother figures, and to those who serve
as role models to children and young adults, Happy Mother’s Day. We can’t underestimate the impact that even a brief
interaction can have on the life of a child. It seems very appropriate to me that Foster Care Month, Mother’s Day and
Memorial Day all fall within the month of May. This is a month of recognition, a month
of respecting, a month of remembering and a month of renewal.
This issue of the Connector features our annual Foster/Adoptive/Resource Family
Appreciation Event and has some touching and heartfelt stories about the different roles
of ‘mother’ we all play. We recognize all of you who touch the hearts of children and
youth in our care. I know I probably don’t say it often enough, but I truly appreciate all
of you.
We recognize and respect the hard work, usually unnoticed, that mothers do. They are
the glue that holds many families together. Many of our children have more than one
mother figure; we value these women as role models who can each have a different impression, each give a different
gift to those whose lives they touch.
Children’s Mental Health Awareness Week (May 5-11) was recognized at the State House with speakers, music
and many of you may have seen or participated in the “flash mob” dance inspired by our own Mary Ann Cooney,
Associate Commissioner of DHHS. I was pleased to see this issue recognized in such a public way, as it is something
all of us in the area of child welfare deal with on a regular basis.
This is the month of our annual DCYF Conference. It is one of the few
opportunities we have to spend time together as colleagues, to learn more
about what is happening in the agency, to meet valued community partners
and to recognize and appreciate the hard work that happens each and every
day.
This is a month of remembrance. We remember mothers and mother
figures who are no longer in our lives. We remember those who have died
in service to our country, those impacted by the recent attacks in Boston
and those who served our own agency faithfully for many years.
Maggie Bishop
DCYF/DJJS Director
DCYF - New Hampshire Department of Health and Human Services
4
Kids in Court
Are you aware of the new Court Protocols about having children and youth involved with child protection cases
attend court hearings?
Are you aware that allows you to attend and have a voice in that hearing
too?
Training has been offered in various locations throughout the state
including at the NHFAPA Conference last November. This training helps
you understand the role of DCYF staff in preparing you- the caregiver for
court and the potential impact that going to court will have on the children/
youth you are caring for. The training will also highlight the importance
of the post hearing survey. If you have not had the opportunity to attend
training, please notify your Resource Worker or Licensing Worker.
The survey is important! We value your input and it is important for us to
hear your perspectives on the child/youth’s experience. We want to know
what you think so that we can better serve children and families.
There are two ways for you to complete to complete the survey. You can access the survey online at http://www.
surveymonkey.com/s/CIPNH-FPRC or just ask your CPSW for a paper copy of the survey. Please know that your
CPSWs should be offering you a survey at your debriefing home visit following your attendance at a court hearing.
The survey is simple and easy to read and your feedback will provide valuable information to the court and us.
If you’d like to know more information or need a refresher, you can read the actual protocols that have been
developed and watch a video presentation about children in court. The survey is also available on this web page:http://
www.courts.state.nh.us/fdpp/abuse_neglect.htm.
Becket Mourns the Loss of Dedicated Employee John McDermott
The Becket Family of Services has learned the tragic news that one of its
great leaders, John McDermott, passed away on the evening of Sunday April
28th. Our deepest sympathies go to John’s wife Janice, his daughter Kate, and
his son Brian.
John’s sudden passing comes as a great loss for our organization and his
leadership will surely be missed. His professionalism and ethics made him a
motivating presence for our faculty, a calming presence for our parents, and a
positive role model for our students. In his time with our organization, John
was a trusted source with an objective and optimistic outlook who significantly contributed to the growth and comfort of our faculty. John came to
our organization in November of 2009, after a long and successful career as
a detective for the City of Nashua Police Department and as the Chief of
the Bureau of Field Services for the New Hampshire Department of Health
and Human Services’ Division of Juvenile Justice Services. At the time of his
passing, he served as the Director of Operations at Mount Prospect Academy (MPA). John’s service to MPA touched the lives of many. He will be
greatly missed.
John with his wife Janice.
DCYF - New Hampshire Department of Health and Human Services
5
Dear Carrie Caregiver...
B
Dear Carrie Caregiver,
In January I welcomed a brother and sister into my home. Every summer our family
spends 2 weeks camping in the White Mountains. Can these 2 children come with us or
do I have to have them go to respite care?
Worried in Wilton
Have a question?
Need some answers?
Contact
aabram@dhhs.state.nh.us
and she will make sure that
Carrie gets your question.
Dear Wilton,
Many foster families go on vacation in the summer and during other parts
of the year. Talk to your caseworker. Arrangements can be made to have
the children go with you but the worker will want to discuss this with the
children’s parents. When foster families go away for a week or more, it does
affect the visitation schedule. So, work on the issue now and perhaps the
children will be able to go on vacation. If not, there are several foster homes
that do enjoy meeting new children by providing respite care services.
Carrie
Dear Carrie Caregiver,
I am confused. I had Bobby in my home for respite care a few weeks ago. I noticed that the reimbursement for providing this service
was not in my regular check. How come?
Perplexed in Pittsburg
Dear Perplexed,
Reimbursement for respite is not a part of your regular board and care reimbursement for foster children you are
serving. Instead, you should have received an “Authorization for Service” in the mail that included details for the respite care services. There are directions on the top of the form. Near the bottom on the right lists the start and stop
date and number of units. If the information is accurate you need to copy that information onto the right side of the
page, sign the form, and mail it to the address written on the top of the page. If the information is wrong, you need
to call and arrange for a corrected authorization to be mailed to you.
Carrie
Share Your Job Knowledge
On August 8th, the Annual Teen Conference will
be held at UNH in Durham. From 1 pm to 3 pm
on that day, youth will have opportunities to talk with
people about different careers. If you are a teacher,
nurse, paramedic, police officer,
fireman, social worker, accountant, plant manager, chemical
engineer, or any other profession, you are needed. If interested, please contact Rob Rodler
or Derek Luke to let them know
you can attend. (Rrodler@dhhs.
state.nh.us or Dluke@dhhs.state.
nh.us)
Graduation Photos
The July/August issue of the newsletter will include
our high school and college graduates. We like to know
the school they are graduating from and what their
next step will be. We love
to have pictures of the
graduates and have it look
like a yearbook. A picture
of the face with the graduation cap is great! Email
the picture to aabram@
dhhs.state.nh.us.
DCYF - New Hampshire Department of Health and Human Services
6
Education and Training Partnership
Suzanne Moberly, Director
Education and Training Partnership
New Online Course for the Spring
The Education and Training Partnership (E&TP) continues to provide online trainings as a distance learning option
to caregivers.
For the spring, the E&TP will offer one new online course: Strategies for Managing Sexualized Behaviors. The
focus of this course is on topics related to understanding and caring for children who display sexualized behaviors.
The range of behaviors may extend from age appropriate sexual exploration to children who molest others. Emphasis
will be placed on creating a safe environment, managing sexualized behaviors non-judgmentally, and working with the
treatment team and available resources.
The E&TP hopes you will take advantage of our new, and existing, classes. Please check our website to find out
which new courses will be added online for Summer. See you online!
New Staff Member Announcement
Lynda Payette recently joined the E&TP as the Program Evaluator. Lynda worked collaboratively with NH Department of Children and Youth and Family Services (DCYF) and The Support Center in Littleton for the past seven
years as the Domestic Violence Specialist in Grafton County. She holds a Bachelor’s Degree in Human Services.
Lynda’s work included supporting birth parents as they worked with DCYF to reunify with their children. Her work
with foster families provides a solid foundation in which to evaluate program needs and effectiveness. Lynda is very
happy to be part of the team here at E&TP and looks forward in helping E&TP focus on a better world for our children and families. Please welcome Lynda to the E&TP.
Save the Date
May 31 through June 2 – Dine at Ruby Tuesdays
in Nashua, Concord or Manchester with coupon and
proceeds will go to NH FAPA.
June 8 – Make Over Ministry in Manchester sponsoring a day for foster parents and relative care providers to help themselves to clothes and household
supplies. Lunch will be provided. Flyer will be emailed
soon.
August 5 – NH FAPA
General Meeting at Granite
State College in Concord.
August 8 – Annual Teen Conference at UNH in
Durham.
September 30, 2013 (7-9 pm) & October 1 - (9-11
am) NEACAC Fair: Southern New Hampshire University Fieldhouse, Manchester.
New Hampshire Foster and
Adoptive Parent Association
Sarah Fox, Secretary
Happy Foster Parent Month! Foster parents give so
much of their time and lives to help children in need
of a safe, loving, nurturing home during a tumultuous
time in their lives. Thank you for all that you do, every
day, every week, every month!
NH FAPA is wrapping up a busy year, marked by
some significant changes. NH FAPA was not successful in raising sufficient funds to continue supporting
the part-time Executive Director position, despite creative ideas and efforts. Jennifer Guillemette, who has
been a dynamic and energetic Executive Director for
NH FAPA for the past several years, is no longer serv-
DCYF - New Hampshire Department of Health and Human Services
NH FAPA
continued on page 12
7
DCYF - New Hampshire Department of Health and Human Services
8
Adoption Corner
Myriam Roeder
Congratulations to the following families and children February
Thomas and Marie Lochen adopted siblings Hope and Thomas.
Donald and Denise Medlock adopted siblings Andrew and Olivia.
Richard and Anna Thorburn adopted Bethany.
Robert and Crystal Correale adopted siblings Cullen and Neville.
Steven and Rebecca Orton adopted Joseph.
Lisa Letourneau adopted Lyla.
March
Matthew and Barbara Wentworth adopted Emily.
Adam and Emeran Langmaid adopted Savannah.
Matthew and Karen Randall adopted siblings Chantelle, Meyer and Megan.
Roger and Jennifer Proulx adopted siblings Asher, Reuben and Silas.
Jeffrey and Susan Lee adopted Liam.
John Grenier adopted Devon.
April
Paul and Holly Seppala adopted siblings Zoey and Zachary.
Dave and Shannon Marthouse adopted Abraham.
John and Cindy Satas adopted Felix.
Chris and Cheryl Rodgers adopted siblings Jadyanna and Katelyn.
Gary and Airial Sillanpaa adopted Isabella.
Brian and Audrey Jalbert adopted siblings Katherine, Dillon and Ambrey.
Quade and Sandra Jordan adopted Damien.
Welcome Newly Licensed
Foster Parents
It has been a busy start to the year
licensing foster parents throughout the
state. Whether you became licensed
for a specific child or you became licensed to welcome complete strangers
into you home, we thank you. The following people were licensed during the
first 4 months of 2013.
Berlin DCYF
Melissa Gooden
Tammy Woida
Debra Reynolds
Tracy Reid
Claremont
Skylar and Jason Tetu
Tim and Angela Bates
Conway DCYF
Tina Sheehan
Concord DCYF
Lisa Stern
Allister and Melissa Missing
Kelly Walsh
Independent Services Network
Linda Lee Despart
Keene DCYF
Brian and Julie McCann
Elizabeth Boisvert
Edwin and Michelle Bourassa
Robyn Hundley
Marlee Leveille
Stephanie and Shawn Moore
Arthur White
Sara Bullard and David Merrill
Robert and Bobbie Dodds
Laconia DCYF
Keren and Ben Dryer
LifeShare
Diane LaVallee
Foster Parents
continued on page 10
DCYF - New Hampshire Department of Health and Human Services
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DCYF - New Hampshire Department of Health and Human Services
10
Welcoming My First Foster Son
Ann Abram
It was June 23, 1990, my first foster child came to stay with us. I had
cleaned the room, made the bed and was all ready for his arrival. He was
six years old and I was nervous. The caseworker called and said he would
be arriving at noon with the boy and the boy’s mother. Now I was very
nervous!
They all arrived at noon, along with the boy’s guinea pig. The arrival of
pets was not something that was covered in my foster parent training but
the need to be flexible was covered and I knew we could figure out something. On this day I never knew I would meet such a remarkable woman.
She arrived looking tired and very sad. While the boy played video games
in the living room, the adults sat on the porch to talk about the details of
providing foster care for him. The mother said nothing. She sat there and
seemed to be listening An hour passed and it was time to say goodbye. The
worker asked her if there was anything she wanted to tell me. Using all her
strength she had that day, she looked at me and said, “take care of my boy,
he is my baby, tuck him in at night and tell him I love him.” The request
was simple. For the next 13 months I did this for her until she could do it
herself when he went home.
Twenty three years have passed. Her son will soon be 30. He is married
and has two beautiful children. This woman has overcome many obstacles
in her life, too many for most of us to imagine. I never knew on that first
day of being a foster parent that I would meet such a courageous and strong
person. We were both at his wedding and have spent time together at many
familiy celebrations, such as baby showers and birthday celebrations. I am
as much a part of her family as she is mine. After all, we both raised her
son.
Foster Parents
continued from page 8
Manchester DCYF
Bradford and Marie Hasty
John Bumpus
Kari and Michael Lockwood
Kelly and Jordan Fein
Rochester DCYF
Tiffany Dash
Ruth Gessner
Arlene and Walter Harmon
Larry Pilla
Robert and Bethanie Downs
Jason and Kathryn Pyle
Sean and Heather Curran
Audra Kelly
Seacoast DCYF
Ingrid and Thomas Nicholson
Jessica and Richard Mills
Southern DCYF
Amanda Helmig
Mark and Paula Descheneau
Southern Telework DCYF
Kerstin Crowe
Garret and Laurie MacLeod
Kristie Schaefer
Lynn Saladini
Samuel and Chantal Schreiner
Reunification
Pam Lamontagne
The whole case has been remarkable. As you know, E was able to go back to her mom at the end of March.
I was able to take E there myself and drop her off. It was very emotional for all of us, as this was the first face
to face for with E’s mother.
For many months we had long phone conversations, many pep talks, many “checking ins” and countless
other talks. I cannot explain the honor that I had to bring this baby back to her mom, and see just how hard
she worked to get there and how far she had come. We cried, hugged, and then cried some more. I left with a
card that I was instructed to not read until I got home. It is one that I will always treasure. It was a thank you
card saying how grateful she was for all of us, and that out of everything she lost, and gained back they gained
another family. We are remaining a constant in their lives, as she has come to learn, if I don’t hear from them in
more than two days, I panic!
Reunification
continued on page 13
DCYF - New Hampshire Department of Health and Human Services
11
News Around The State
Claremont
LifeShare
Erica Stupka Fisk
Lindsay Perham
The Claremont DO ended the Spring FACEs series
with five homes completing the classes. We look forward to licensing them all in the near future. We are
holding our annual foster parent appreciation event
and FACEs graduation on May 30th at the Claremont
Community Center with dinner and guests. All licensed
foster parents and relative caregivers in the area and
FACEs graduates are invited. Please RSVP to Erica
Stupka-Fisk at 542-9544 x397 if you wish to attend.
Children are welcome to come.
The LifeShare offices are moving to 60 Rodgers St.
in Manchester on June 1st. Phone and email contact
information will remain the same. Program changes
are;
-A new tracking program including an Out of School
suspension program allowing for youth, either JPPO
or DCYF, who want to participate where they receive
educational support during their suspension from
school. A master’s level teacher will supervise. This is
great news as the need is definitely there!
Laconia
- Therapeutic Day Treatment Program to DCYF and
JPPO related youth continues. Services focus on Independent Living, therapeutic recreation activities, and
therapeutic groups (healthy relationships, life skills,
heath education, and anger management, DBT skills,
self-esteem). The TDT program runs from 2pm - 7pm
(transportation provided by LifeShare).
Linda Deneau
At a recent staff meeting in the Laconia District Office, Case Workers set aside some time for some messy
fun. Donated card stock, glitter, stickers and scissors
were passed back and forth fast and furiously between
workers as they created cards for Resource Parents.
The creative cards bore sentiments such as, “We value
the work you do!” and “Keep up the great work!” At
the end of the flurry of activity, the collection of cards
was impressive. The quality was top notch and we hope
the genuine messages to resource parents were loud
and clear.
- The Therapeutic Education Program has recently
been revamped. This program facilitates a wrap-around
approach to learning. Tutoring and credit recovery is
also a part of the program.
Southern DCYF
Whitney Linscott
The Southern District Office in Nashua received a
very generous and thoughtful donation from the 5th
grade worship group at the Hollis Congregational
Church. The class completed a project in which they
learned about foster care. After learning about the effects of foster care, they wanted to help. They raised
money and collected items for months, in order to donate a truck full of wonderful items for DCYF and
foster parents to give to children on their first night
in care. The items include games for foster children
and foster parents to play together to get to know
one another. They also donated comfort items such
as blankets, books, stuffed animals and night-lights to
help kids feel comfortable and safe in an unfamiliar
environment.
Around the State
continued on page 13
DCYF - New Hampshire Department of Health and Human Services
12
NH FAPA
continued from page 6
ing in that capacity. Her dedication and commitment to NH FAPA will continue, however, just in a different capacity.
The NH FAPA Board has relied on her tremendously for her amazing organizational skills, creativity, and the way
she kept the Board on task! Jen will be greatly missed in her role as Executive Director and all the different roles she
played. “Thank you” just doesn’t seem like enough.
NH FAPA is also saying good-bye to Heath Hooper, the NH FAPA President. Heath has been on the NH FAPA
Board for many years and has been a kind, thoughtful, and strong advocate for foster and
adoptive parents throughout the state. We all wish him well in his latest exciting endeavors
and while he may be stepping down from the Board for now, he states that he “will be
back.” Looking forward to that day, Heath and best wishes to you!
NH FAPA had elections on May 5 and will have new leadership in Jacquie Capello, a
former NH FAPA board member, with Michelle Woltering serving as Vice-President, Denise Christiansen serving as Treasurer and Sarah Fox serving as Secretary. With the loss of
the Jen Guillemette, the board will be focusing on rebuilding and determining a new way
forward. Jen leaves BIG shoes to fill!
Finally, on Friday,
Jacquie Capello
May 31, Saturday, June
1 and Sunday, June 2,
Ruby Tuesday restaurants in Concord, Manchester
and Nashua will be offering 20% of the total check
to NH FAPA. This is a great opportunity to raise
funds and have a great meal to boot! Please check
out the NH FAPA website or Facebook page for
the coupon on left.
DCYF - New Hampshire Department of Health and Human Services
13
Reunification
continued from page 10
We receive text messages and pictures on a daily basis. E is shown pictures of us everyday, and “N” was one of
her first names that she could say. We have gone shopping together and for lunch. Last week, after my oldest adult
daughter was missing her so much she contacted her mom and has since taken E for a day and then again this weekend
for a sleep over.
Words cannot explain the joy we have got from finally (after 9 years) experiencing what the foster care system is
truly set up to do. Don’t get me wrong, in the back of my heart and mind will always be “can she maintain herself ”
or “will they all be ok”. However, I do know that in the strong connections we have made I know that I will be one
of the first to know if something does go wrong. I tell her everyday how proud I am of her, and let her know that it
is okay to make mistakes. I feel confident that she will continue to reach out to me.
In all these lessons learned, to see one of my daughters, one that gave us such a hard time about having this foster child move into our home, reach out to the mom and offer friendship, love and support is almost too much to
handle!
In the meantime, E is still running the house over here; it is amazing to watch her grow she is truly in her element
in the backyard running around and playing with “her nays” aka the horses without a care in the world! As EVERY
kid should be!!
It has been an honor to be a Foster Family, and I thank you for giving us the opportunity and support to be able to
make a difference in the world!”
Resource Worker, Melissa Crawford, said, “This like all of my families are simply amazing!”
Around the State
continued from page 11
This great gift of generosity is truly appreciated by
all of us here in the
Southern office, and
will be appreciated by
children and families
for a long time. We
would like to send a
huge THANK YOU
to the 5th grade worship group and the
entire Hollis Congregation!
The Southern Office welcomes a new
district office supervisor Jennifer Richard. Jennifer is transitioning from the
Southern Telework
supervisory position,
and was previously an assistant supervisor in Salem and
a Resource Worker in Manchester before that.
Southern Telework
Melissa Crawford
A big thank you to the Kids Care Club of Barka
Elementary School in Derry, New Hampshire, for
the giggle bags they made for foster children!
Also, the Telework unit had their Annual Foster,
Adoptive, and Relative Parent Appreciation Event
this past Saturday. I want to thank The Salem
Boys and Girls Club and St. David’s Church of Salem for hosting our event.
Our families
enjoyed networking and
swimming.
DCYF - New Hampshire Department of Health and Human Services
14
Life is What You Make of It
Adapted from an essay by Saralyn Marquis
This is the story of a young woman named Stephanie who was born deaf and miraculously obtained the ability to
hear at the age of eight. She struggled academically through high school and beamed with pride when she received
her diploma. She lived with her high school sweetheart and had two beautiful children. But in the blink of an eye, her
boyfriend left her and she became a young single mother struggling to make ends meet. Only three years out of high
school, raising two children on her own was proving to be too much for her to handle. State workers became regular
visitors in her life and every time they stepped through her door, her heart broke a little more. But the most painful
day was when her girls had to be placed in foster care.
Stepanie worked hard to get her children back. She had regular visits with her girls and tried to give them everything
she could. During that time she became close to the girls’ foster parents and came to see them as part of her support
system. Then one day Stephanie found herself sitting in a hospital room recovering from surgery. She had been diagnosed with cancer in both of her kidneys. She was bound to dialysis pending a kidney transplant and her dream of
reuniting her family was thrown off course.
Three long years later, Stephanie got her children back. They spent six months together catching up on lost times,
and truly enjoying their time together. Stepanie continued to struggle with medical issues. Taking care of the girls
was often so physically demanding that she wasn’t sure she’d be able to continue. When her condition required hospitalization, Stephanie did what she knew would be best for her children—she called their former foster parents and
asked them to take care of her daughters. It broke her heart again, but she knew they would be loved and safe with
this foster family. Stephanie recognized that they provided the girls with what she could not, and her girls still knew
she loved them more than anything else in the world. She would be forever grateful for the active role their foster
parents took in the girls’ lives and for their hospitality.
Stephanie succumbed to her illness just a few short months later at the age of 34, having overcome more of life’s
challenges than most see in a full lifetime.
I chose to tell you about the miraculous story of Stephanie’s life because Stephanie was my mother and she has
taught me many things that I will never forget. Quite possibly the principal lesson learned was that life is what you
make of it no matter the circumstances you’ve been born into. When you persevere in the face of opposition, when
you triumph when you’re expected to fail, and when you push forward with all your might when some simply retreat,
that is when you find out what you’re made of and exactly who you are.
Saralyn Marquis (pictured above) is finishing her junior year at Babson College in Wellesley, MA.
She is currently studying abroad in Capetown, South Africa.
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Celebration
continued from page 1
would not have happened without the capable support of: Ann Abram, Linda Deneau, Pat Seaward-Salvati, Carol
Sanborn, Cindy Thomas, Mary Breen, Myriam Roeder, Cathy Brown, Kathleen Companion, Catherine Meister, Janet
Kohlhase, Liz Nelson, Amanda Regis, Julie Green, Lauren Parker, Gail Mayhew, and Robyn Goulette.
In addition to the above noted organizers we had many other volunteers who came to support our event. Space does
not permit me to list each name, but please know that your help was instrumental in making sure that the day’s events
went off without incident and that the children and their families were treated to a day of fun and celebration.
With deep appreciation to everyone who was a part of this fun filled day. We hope to see you next year!
Celebration Time
DCYF - New Hampshire Department of Health and Human Services
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More on the Celebration
2013