Across the Drafts
Author(s): Nancy Sommers
Source: College Composition and Communication, Vol. 58, No. 2 (Dec., 2006), pp. 248-257
Published by: National Council of Teachers of English
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CCC
58:2
/ DECEMBER
2006
Across the Drafts
Nancy Sommers
HarvardUniversity
For the past
thirty years,
I have been a teacher of writing-work
that I love,
especially teaching first-yearstudents. I have always been curious about the
ways
inwhich
students
read and interpret my comments-why
they find some
responses useful, others distracting, and how these comments work together
with
the lessons of the classroom.
In 1982, 1 published
any "real" students who,
through voice, expertise,
to, could offer their teachers valuable
lessons.
of
and years of being responded
In returning
to a topic that has
for over a quarter of a century, I'm also returning
captured my imagination
a topic that is part of our collective
imagination, with
tion paid to it that if you search "responding
you arrive in 2.7 seconds
an article in CCC on this
years later, I feel the absence
very topic, but rereading this essay twenty-four
so much
to student writing"
at the first of about 230,000 entries
to
scholarly atten
on Google,
(Harvey 44).' Our
collective interest in responding, Isuspect, isdeeplyprofessional andpersonal.
We feel aweighty
responsibility when we respond to our students' words, know
ing that we, too, have received comments
times made us despair-in
on our papers,
the margins
in memory,
inscribed
or at the bottom
often written
that have given us hope-and
our abilities as writers. The words
are often
the same words we scribble
of our own students' pages-well-intended,
with great care, though sometimes
duced, usually
them as they move
carelessly, often caffeine-in
from our class to the next, from one paper assignment
into our students' minds
anything,
and composing
is serious business.
inspiring responses
takes to comment
ten wonder
in
most
late at night. These words, we hope, our students will take with
another, across the drafts. We don't take this responsibility
entering
some
teachers scribbled
to
lightly. The work of
humane,
Given the enormous
even
thoughtful,
amount of time it
fairly upon a single paper, let alone twenty or thirty, we of
whether
our students
actually
read our comments
and what,
if
they take from them.
As I look back across a quarter of a century of my own drafts, I remember
that my first impulse when
hierarchy of effective
fied, even memorized
such research when
they were written-that
researching
and ineffective
by new writing
the topic of response was
comments
teachers.
to imagine a
that could be isolated,
I quickly
I tried to separate comments
is, the language established
identi
learned the limits of
from the context
in the classroom.
inwhich
There
248
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is
R E - V IS O
I N S
a story behind each effective comment
it more
responding,
we
that animates
it for a student, making
on a page. But in our professional
than mere marks
too often neglect
and the vital partnership
between
literature about
in this transaction,
the role of the student
teacher and student,
that imply a hierarchy of comments:
almost
by focusing,
on the role of the teacher. We offer prescriptions
exclusively,
to new teachers
ismore
offering praise, for instance,
con
structive than criticism;posing questions is better than issuing commands;
and using green or blue ink is always preferable
The new perspective
Study of Undergraduate
from the Harvard
four hundred
students
for
the leisurely perspec
of over six hundred
hours of taped interviews,
of student
pounds
and countless
and Ihave witnessed
survey data, my fellow researchers
ments
followed
through their eyes. With
the collection
five hundred
writing,
which
Writing,
four years to see college writing
tive of time, and with
to red.
Ibring to this topic today comes
of
megabytes
the wide range of com
receive, not just in one course or from one teacher, but
that students
over four years and across the disciplines.2
To see these comments
is a kaleidoscopic
eyes of college students
experience:
through the
papers never returned;
papers returnedwith bewilderinghieroglyphics-dots, checkmarks, squiggly
or straight lines; papers with responses
ars, engaging with
from a decoding
benefit
that treat students
like apprentice
schol
their ideas, seriously and thoughtfully. That students might
ring to determine
whether
the check marks
and
squiggles are a good or bad thing will not surprise us. That students might
find
comments
useful throughout
at the end-will
the process-before
also not surprise us.What
feedback plays in the complex
writers while
others
Itwould
ceive the most
ment. And
writing
But
make
to a student's
of writing
paragraphs,
is the role
as college
prosper
dents stall and become
students who
leaps inwriting
re
develop
to think we could link the lack of
scorecard of useful and useless comments.
nothing
is straightforward.
to senior, from novice
to expert,
The
if it hap
like one step forward, two steps back, isolated progress
one compositional
fall away. For some students,
stuck writing
have made
element mastered
is uneven
progress
and again, no matter what assignment
or better comments
the greatest
development,
from first-year writing
pens at all, looks more
within
to think that those fortunate
be equally comforting
development
movement
did surprise us, though,
story of why some students
useful comments
in the matter
drafts, not just
lag.3
be comforting
itwould
and between
while other elements
but continuous.
Other
stu
the same kind of formulaic paper, again
they receive. We wondered-would
a difference
more
to these stalled writers? And what
249
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58:2
CCC
/ DECEMBER
2006
relationshipcouldwe perceive between thosewho progressed aswriters and
the comments they received?
A quarter of a century ago, Iwouldn't
tions, let alone answer
have known how to ask such ques
I focused entirely upon comments
them. At that point,
written in first-yearcomposition courses toprompt revisions.And Iconcluded,
in any definitive way what
"We do not know
tary or what effect, if any, our comments
more
constitutes
(148). In the Harvard
effective writers"
commen
thoughtful
have on helping our students
Study, though, we
become
looked at all
comments students receivedover fouryears.Outside the first-yearor upper
divisionwriting courses,we learned, students rarelyreceivewriting instruc
tion and are rarelyrequiredto revise.Consequently, instructors'comments on
final drafts take on an even greater role; they often become
instruction. After following four hundred
writing
challenge my earlier conclusion
the only place for
for four years, Inow
students
that feedback plays a leading role
by arguing
in undergraduatewriting development when, but only when, students and
teachers create a partnership
ers engage with
ing honest
through feedback-
paired with
critique
a transaction
inwhich
by treating them as apprentice
their students
instruction.
in this
The role of the student
exchange
is to be open to an instructor's comments,
responses
not as personal
reading and hearing
attacks or as isolated moments
career but, rather, as instructive
teach
scholars, offer
and portable words
their
in a college writing
to take with
them to the
next assignment, across the drafts.
write
it-we
ments
for their students. But ifwe understand
have great expectations
Colleges
how slow writing
is-that
development
a college paper, to have something
forward as writers,
students
resonate with
to say to a reader who wants
rather humble about the enterprise
become
move
is, how long it takes to learn how to
of commenting.
they do so because
such comments
that our students
are already think
some aspect of their writing
ing about. As we learned from the students we followed, most
fortunately, do not move
or overwhelm
often
are written
the most
improvement;
otherwise,
assume
to the paper, not
look a lot like check marks
comments
turned with
comments
forward as writers because
them, going unread and unused. As one student
comments
whelming
students
cryptic
a good
too much
their job is to comment
to hear
If our com
of comments
treatment
un
comments,
they underwhelm
suggested,
"Too
to the student." The under
and squiggles,
like "B+; your
or papers
re
style needs
of the topic." The overwhelming
on the part of a student, as if instructors
on every compositional
element
imagine
all at once, and as if
250
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R E -V IS O
I N S
theybelieve thatpointing out such errorswill prevent students fromevermak
ing them again.
What
in every conversation
emerged
about their
students
its absence or presence,
is the power of feedback,
college writing
we had with
to shape their
writing experiences.As one student toldme, "Withouta reader,thewhole pro
cess is diminished."
ceive was
in our survey of four hundred
revealed
the comments
care deeply about
That students
they re
students, who were asked as
juniors to offer one piece of advice to improve writing
instruction
at Harvard.
Overwhelmingly-almost 90 percent-they responded:urge faculty to give
And when we asked students
specific comments.
more
each year to describe
their best writing experiences, two overriding characteristics emerged: the
opportunity
to write
opportunity
to engage with an instructor
from students'
might
expect
about
to the student,
through feedback. What
is that feedback plays amuch
testimonials
from mere words
in the margins
scribbled
per; feedback plays an important
to help students
that matters
something
in large lecture classes,
and to give them a sense of academic
is diminished";
process
clear
or at the end of a pa
social role, especially
feel less anonymous
out a reader "the whole
became
larger role than we
it isn't just that with
As we learned from the students we followed,
belonging.
and the
rather, it is with a thoughtful
readerthat thewhole process isenriched,deepened, and inscribed inmemory.
One might
valuable
is often
easily
to students
imagine
because
that this partnership
around
feedback
is so
it affirms them as writers. And, yes, affirmation
the end result, but a key finding
is that constructive
criticism, more
than encouraging praise, often pushes students forwardwith theirwriting;
constructivecriticismmore thanpraise revealsinstructors'investments in their
students' untapped
take-are
writing
potential.
In the case of praise, the messages
at this college; you are not the admissions
you belong
vitally
important
to propel
first-year
it contains
committee's
students
and to inspire them to work harder. But over a college
such praise
is not paired with constructive
back-and-forth
exchange
between
criticism, when
student
one mis
forward with
it doesn't
and teacher, writer
their
career, when
involve a
and reader, it
has the opposite effect. Instead,undeserved praise neglects to offer students
an incentive
to improve, nor does
future papers. Students who
tors such as "I have nothing
writers
what
because
it provide
repeatedly
any alternative
receive comments
to say about this well-written
they are never asked to do anything
skills they need to develop, nor are they engaged
approaches
for
from their instruc
paper:' often stall as
differently,
never shown
in a dialogue
that chal
lenges theirown thinking.
251
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58:2
/ DECEMBER
The surprise was watching
so many
2006
students make
great leaps in their
writing development after receivingwhat they identified as tough and honest
assessment of theirwork. Forone student,Ellery,theharsh critiquehe received
as a junior was
litical science
rush-hour
the only thing that could shake him from his glibness. His po
instructor wrote:
"Ellery, this is supposed
radio talk show. What
but it is not the kind of writing
you write
that goes under the label of academic." Though
blunt, this response was written
inwhich
a lengthy comment
She goes on tomodel
the way inwhich
not as a pronouncement,
the instructor
the kind of questions
tough in her assessment,
but in the context
of
engaged with Ellery and his ideas.
he might
readers might
skeptical
to be an essay, not a
is a good piece of entertainment,
have asked and to model
look at the same evidence. Although
treated him as a colleague,
Ellery's instructor
some
one capable of great things, even if not yet achieved. This kind of intellectual
partnership
academic
created
other, and questioning
showed Ellery that he was part of an
each other's thinking. Criticism
it has to be paired with
is not enough; like praise,
But in the call and response
instruction.
instructors model
when
feedback
through
community, made up of thinkers sorting out ideas, arguing with each
an image of a reader at the other end of the writing
students
of feedback,
a live, listening person,
for their students
they offer
process,
someone
willing to listen and comment, criticallyyet constructively.
The success of this partnership
ness
to hear and accept honest
has as much
to do with
of their work
assessment
students' willing
as it does with
in
structors'willingness to offer such responses. Ellery, for instance, received
honest
assessments
ments
didn't help him become
responses
of his writing
as his instructors'
structors'
comments
use these comments
kind of paper to work
graduate writing:
in a philosophy
ments
asked as a junior how he might
in future assignments,
responded:
through." Jackson
tomove
from discipline
course one semester,
intuited
since he believes
a Haydn piano sonata
that each essay assignment
discrete unit. In Jackson's view of writing,
but also isolated
students what
comments
makes
on a particular
of under
about Confucius
in a music
course
clear that itwill be
to future writing
is defined
assign
by its topic, a
are tailored to each essay
from all other essays, and their purpose
they did wrong
and a different
the great challenge
level, Jackson's observation
another
use his in
"I don't think I can
to discipline, writing
for him to apply even the best comments
these
he dismissed
since each paper is a different assignment
the next. But on another
difficult
because
Or, in the case ofJackson,
idiosyncrasies.
in our study, who, when
student
his first and second years, but these assess
a stronger writer
is, simply, to show
assignment.
252
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R E -V IS O
I N S
We
learn from Jackson's undergraduate
a good writer
coming
involves
an instructor
standing what
how to put that advice
correct
stems
stasis as a writer
career that part of be
intends and in the practical
in other courses
into effect
that his essay on Confucius
is a text onto
from his belief
to another. Because
assignment
writing
to receive criticism,
learning
in under
both
sense of knowing
and contexts.
Jackson
that there is no continuity
he sees no way to transport
paper to the next, he reads his instructors'
is
itself, but part of Jackson's
from one
lessons from one
as isolated moments
comments
in
his collegewriting career,not as bridges between assignments. Even the best,
most
comments
thoughtful
will not move
students
like Jackson
forward as
writers.
But for any writer
read comments
learning how to receive and accept
not as judgment
about one's failings as a writer,
quick to dismiss or deflect
their most
mental,
college writing
is not simple, especially
intimate
sages of hope or despair
about who
how to
for beginners who
are
ismonu
feedback
interaction with
and direct
their
implicitly or explicitly, with mes
they are and who
become
they might
one student will respond, "My greatest
ink is gratitude:" another
critique,
as a human being, or
feedback. For first-year students,
personal, most
culture. And feedback comes,
students. While
ments mean
about one's limitations
reaction
as
to all that red
first-year will shrug and say, "I guess all these com
he didn't really like my paper." Or, if a first-year student believes,
as one told me,
that the purpose
of her composition
how to "write quickly, adequately,
attitude might
course was
and painlessly," we understand
prevent her from being open to comments
to teach her
why such an
that ask her to slow
down, read texts closely and carefully, and, in aword, change. The differences
among first-year students, we found, are less about ability and more
openness
and receptivity
ences as something
We
to comments,
feedback,
is a first-year
predictors
student's willingness
to see it as instruction,
not merely
of undergraduate
to accept
to their students what
dents
are open
to learning
is expected
about
sense of the expectations
son at a time, and not overwhelming
pects
of their writing
something
differently
at once,
inwhich
from
instructors
of them as college writers,
these expectations.
By giving
of academic writing,
them by asking
instructors
de
writing
and benefit
as judgment.
At its best, feedback comes out of an exchange
plain
generalized
experi
under their control, not random and outside of themselves.
found that one of the important
velopment
about an
a way of seeing their writing
show
the next time. The comments
ex
and stu
students
teaching
a
one les
them to improve all as
their students
that students
how
to do
identify as
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CCC
the most
58:2
helpful are responses
hand with
a glance
Consider,
that straddle
the present world
to her weak
"Louisa, a technique
an intriguing detail, especially
Beginning
in this manner
that can work well
Here is her instructor's
for opening
one you find difficult
a paper
is to
to account
for.
not only draws in your reader, but also forces you as
to grapple with a troubling aspect of the text, which
can often be a key
in turn, can focus your thesis
set aside. This,
that you had previously
aspect
in our study, re
student
thesis and introduction.
comment:
of the paper at
one lesson for the future.
the feedback Louisa, another
begin with
awriter
2006
to the next paper, articulating
for instance,
ceived in response
/ DECEMBER
and argument."
As a sophomore,
is showing you how." But as a junior, she
nobody
to work with
fortunate
was
an instructor who didn't assume
in his class as a fully formed writer.
Instead, the instructor
an evolving writer. The tone of his comment
apprentice,
fully, as a writing
reader with
academic
lesson on how
an arguable
claim. By giving Louisa
calls for-write
writing
about what
might
start with details because
they engage
to offer a bridge
his comment
that when
concluded
function
to anchor
Writing
is phrased,
a generalized
those
than you first imagined;
instructor
readers-Louisa's
taken seriously
the role of an attentive
in their academic
a
sense of what
you don't understand;
important
have been
respect
to engage
composes
assignments.
as apprentice
reader, such comments
lives and, ultimately, make
a
in their college writing.
vast difference
is painstakingly
development
not amother
be more
students
students
treated Louisa as an
for her to cross to future writing
instructors model
writers, when
that she arrived
to arrive at a thesis, and how
things you have dismissed
We
in an interview: "It's tough get
Louisa had complained
ting better as a writer when
tongue; its conventions
slow because
require instruction
academic writing
is
and practice, years of
imitation and experimentation in rehearsingother people's argumentsbefore
being able to articulate
that feedback
the best
open
feedback,
dents
doesn't move
to its instruction
from the Harvard
students
forward as writers
or if they don't understand
and critique,
as bridges
to future writing
to improve as writers,
a number
of factors are necessary:
comments,
throughout
they need plenty
of opportunities
their college careers, not merely
plenty of opportunities
year, especially
to receive writing
instruction
is
Study
learn towrite, but feedback alone, even
comments
their instructors'
honest
one's own. The conclusion
shapes the way students
if they are not
how to use
assignments.
For stu
in addition
to practice
to
writing
in one course or in one year, and
instruction
in and beyond
the first
in one discipline's method.
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I N S
R E -V IS O
Feedback
is rooted
as in any relationship,
in the partnership
it develops
between
student and teacher, and
its own language
and meaning.
this
That
relationship provides students theirmost direct contact with their college
writing
culture
simple enough. But what
seems
isn't simple
is the profound
influence the relationship created through feedbackhas, not only upon stu
dents'writing development, but also upon students' sense of themselves as
thinkers.
When students receivefeedbacktellingthem theyhave "greatinsights"
that their instructorshave "neverseen the topic discussed thisway before;'or
that there might
students
be "awhole
for them to imagine,
level of other questions"
that their teachers view them as people
understand
"with things to
say," thinkers capable of insight and asking other levels of questions.
a student
Or, when
tells us that he will always hear his instructor's voice telling him to
it is not just the instructor's words
change his ideas, revise his thinking,
the
student hears and carries with him across the drafts; it is also the instructor's
belief in the student as a thinker, someone
capable of doing good work, even if
as a first-year student he is not yet accomplishing
as an invitation
to feedback
demic conversation,
imagine their instructors
not readers waiting
that is kept
back and forth between
giver and receiver, and outward
college
on the role of feedback
career, told me about such a gift: "If Ibumped
minds
connected
The word
with
know what
passed
moving
into the world. One
writing
into one of my professors
this professor
twenty
of my work; our
thought
at this juncture of my paper, and Iwill always be indebted."
of obligation,
of being beholden.
it a feeling of appreciation
indebtedness
in motion,
in his undergraduate
indebted caught me off guard. Indebtedness,
a connotation
as
to re
of a "true gift" not just as a possession
from giver to receiver but, rather, something
years from now, Iwould
respond
on a given paper.
they've done wrong
I once read a definition
senior, reflecting
students
of their own to an aca
something
students
to learn from their contributions,
readers waiting
port what
to contribute
they do so because
it.When
goes two ways,
after all, carries with
But indebtedness
it
also carries
a legacy of connectedness.
And
like any bridge. As teachers, we respond
to our
and gratitude,
students' great insights because we are grateful for the insights they have given
us. And
in encouraging
our students
too, are inspired to think more widely
monumental,
but its influence often
As our students
and deeply. Feedback
and reader, between
we,
doesn't need to be
is.
teach us, their papers don't end when
in for a grade, nor do our comments
between writer
to imagine other levels of questions,
end when we write
student
they turn them
them. The partnership
and teacher, creates
something
255
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CCC
new-a
collection
around, moving
58:-2
/
DECEMBER
2006
of ideas that are larger than the paper
forth into the world,
itself, ideas milling
across the drafts.
Acknowledgments
through the various drafts of this essay, I have been fortunate to re
from wise colleagues and friends. Iwould like to acknowledge the
As Iworked
ceive comments
of the following colleagues tomy own thinking about this
topic: Joshua Alper, David Bartholomae, Patricia Bellanca, Faye Halpern, Gordon
Harvey, Karen Heath, Jim Herron, Tom Jehn, Suzanne Lane, Soo La Kim, Emily
enormous contributions
O'Brien, Stuart Pizer,Maxine Rodburg,Jane Rosenzweig, Susanna Ryan, Laura Saltz,
Mimi Schwartz, Dawn Skorczewski, Stephen Sutherland, Kerry Walk, and Suzanne
Young.
Notes
1.A rich and abundant literature exists on the topic of responding to student writ
ing. Inparticular, Iwould mention the important work of Chris Anson, Lil Brannon
and Cy Knoblauch, Summer Smith, Richard Straub and Ronald Lunsford, and
Kathleen Blake Yancey.
see http://
2. To learn more about the Harvard Study of Undergraduate Writing,
To
www.fas.harvard.edu/~expos.
Anne
Marcia
Herrington,
Lunsford
and
provide
field?Marilyn
and
Carroll,
the value
demonstrated
than
perspective
Ann
Lee
research
focused
Jenn
of
upon
Sternglass,
Andrea
Fishman,
studies
longitudinal
one
college
to
or one
course
year.
undergraduate
the voices
3. To bring
have
colleagues
a wider
date,
Curtis,
in our
scholars
my
responding,
into
of undergraduates
colleague,
Jane
a
discussion
larger pedagogical
a film,
I created
and
Rosenzweig,
Across
about
the Drafts:
Students and Teachers Talk about Feedback. In this film, we follow one student, Jon
Stona,
and his writing
the
posing
a wide
of
range
Tom
teacher,
students,
Jehn,
as
they
in Jon's
first-year
last assignment
first-years
move
writing
through
of com
the process
through
course.
The film also
as well
seniors,
as
their
features
professors,
speaking about the challenges and rewards of receiving and giving feedback. The
film can be viewed on the Harvard Study Web site, http://www.fas.harvard.edu/
~expos;
copies
of the film
can
be obtained
to
by writing
wrstudy@fas.harvard.edu.
Works Cited
"Response
Styles and
of Knowing." Writing
and
and
Practice,
Response:
Theory,
Anson,
Chris M.
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Lil, and C. H. Knoblauch.
Students'
Ways
Model
Rights
of Teacher
to Their
Own
"On
Texts: A
Response."
College
and Communication
33.2
Composition
157-66.
(1982):
Urbana:
1989. 332-66.
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"The Genre
Summer.
Comment:
Level. Mahwah,
toStudent
AResponseto"Responding
theConversation:
Recovering
theDrafts"
via"Across
Writing"
CarolRutz
CarletonCollege
Nancy Sommers
and I agree on her assessment
to Student Writing"-that
of her 1982 essay, "Responding
it reflects "the absence of any 'real' students." Even
thoughSommers and her colleagues conducted interviewsof studentwriters
with
in connection
their research,
sis and critique. As Sommers
student
ismissing-and,
and teacher
mospherics
points
with
out,
the "language
it, the context
that context,
and the local meanings
in the
established
for the relationship
in a given classroom. Without
of the classroom
as the sites for analy
text and teacher comments
cism, using both the student
classroom"
the thrust of the 1982 essay is textual criti
established
between
both
the at
in that cli
mate vanish, leaving textual artifacts that reveal only part of the communicative
story.
Sommers
context
is not alone
in paying
insufficient
in her early research on student writing.
attention
Other
to the classroom
thoughtful
studies by
prestigious scholarshave produced impressiveanalyses of teachercomments
257
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All use subject to JSTOR Terms and Conditions