Across the Drafts Author(s): Nancy Sommers Source: College Composition and Communication, Vol. 58, No. 2 (Dec., 2006), pp. 248-257 Published by: National Council of Teachers of English Stable URL: http://www.jstor.org/stable/20456939 Accessed: 05-08-2014 14:53 UTC Your use of the JSTOR archive indicates your acceptance of the Terms & Conditions of Use, available at http://www.jstor.org/page/info/about/policies/terms.jsp JSTOR is a not-for-profit service that helps scholars, researchers, and students discover, use, and build upon a wide range of content in a trusted digital archive. We use information technology and tools to increase productivity and facilitate new forms of scholarship. For more information about JSTOR, please contact support@jstor.org. National Council of Teachers of English is collaborating with JSTOR to digitize, preserve and extend access to College Composition and Communication. http://www.jstor.org This content downloaded from 136.165.238.131 on Tue, 05 Aug 2014 14:53:31 UTC All use subject to JSTOR Terms and Conditions CCC 58:2 / DECEMBER 2006 Across the Drafts Nancy Sommers HarvardUniversity For the past thirty years, I have been a teacher of writing-work that I love, especially teaching first-yearstudents. I have always been curious about the ways inwhich students read and interpret my comments-why they find some responses useful, others distracting, and how these comments work together with the lessons of the classroom. In 1982, 1 published any "real" students who, through voice, expertise, to, could offer their teachers valuable lessons. of and years of being responded In returning to a topic that has for over a quarter of a century, I'm also returning captured my imagination a topic that is part of our collective imagination, with tion paid to it that if you search "responding you arrive in 2.7 seconds an article in CCC on this years later, I feel the absence very topic, but rereading this essay twenty-four so much to student writing" at the first of about 230,000 entries to scholarly atten on Google, (Harvey 44).' Our collective interest in responding, Isuspect, isdeeplyprofessional andpersonal. We feel aweighty responsibility when we respond to our students' words, know ing that we, too, have received comments times made us despair-in on our papers, the margins in memory, inscribed or at the bottom often written that have given us hope-and our abilities as writers. The words are often the same words we scribble of our own students' pages-well-intended, with great care, though sometimes duced, usually them as they move carelessly, often caffeine-in from our class to the next, from one paper assignment into our students' minds anything, and composing is serious business. inspiring responses takes to comment ten wonder in most late at night. These words, we hope, our students will take with another, across the drafts. We don't take this responsibility entering some teachers scribbled to lightly. The work of humane, Given the enormous even thoughtful, amount of time it fairly upon a single paper, let alone twenty or thirty, we of whether our students actually read our comments and what, if they take from them. As I look back across a quarter of a century of my own drafts, I remember that my first impulse when hierarchy of effective fied, even memorized such research when they were written-that researching and ineffective by new writing the topic of response was comments teachers. to imagine a that could be isolated, I quickly I tried to separate comments is, the language established identi learned the limits of from the context in the classroom. inwhich There 248 This content downloaded from 136.165.238.131 on Tue, 05 Aug 2014 14:53:31 UTC All use subject to JSTOR Terms and Conditions is R E - V IS O I N S a story behind each effective comment it more responding, we that animates it for a student, making on a page. But in our professional than mere marks too often neglect and the vital partnership between literature about in this transaction, the role of the student teacher and student, that imply a hierarchy of comments: almost by focusing, on the role of the teacher. We offer prescriptions exclusively, to new teachers ismore offering praise, for instance, con structive than criticism;posing questions is better than issuing commands; and using green or blue ink is always preferable The new perspective Study of Undergraduate from the Harvard four hundred students for the leisurely perspec of over six hundred hours of taped interviews, of student pounds and countless and Ihave witnessed survey data, my fellow researchers ments followed through their eyes. With the collection five hundred writing, which Writing, four years to see college writing tive of time, and with to red. Ibring to this topic today comes of megabytes the wide range of com receive, not just in one course or from one teacher, but that students over four years and across the disciplines.2 To see these comments is a kaleidoscopic eyes of college students experience: through the papers never returned; papers returnedwith bewilderinghieroglyphics-dots, checkmarks, squiggly or straight lines; papers with responses ars, engaging with from a decoding benefit that treat students like apprentice schol their ideas, seriously and thoughtfully. That students might ring to determine whether the check marks and squiggles are a good or bad thing will not surprise us. That students might find comments useful throughout at the end-will the process-before also not surprise us.What feedback plays in the complex writers while others Itwould ceive the most ment. And writing But make to a student's of writing paragraphs, is the role as college prosper dents stall and become students who leaps inwriting re develop to think we could link the lack of scorecard of useful and useless comments. nothing is straightforward. to senior, from novice to expert, The if it hap like one step forward, two steps back, isolated progress one compositional fall away. For some students, stuck writing have made element mastered is uneven progress and again, no matter what assignment or better comments the greatest development, from first-year writing pens at all, looks more within to think that those fortunate be equally comforting development movement did surprise us, though, story of why some students useful comments in the matter drafts, not just lag.3 be comforting itwould and between while other elements but continuous. Other stu the same kind of formulaic paper, again they receive. We wondered-would a difference more to these stalled writers? And what 249 This content downloaded from 136.165.238.131 on Tue, 05 Aug 2014 14:53:31 UTC All use subject to JSTOR Terms and Conditions 58:2 CCC / DECEMBER 2006 relationshipcouldwe perceive between thosewho progressed aswriters and the comments they received? A quarter of a century ago, Iwouldn't tions, let alone answer have known how to ask such ques I focused entirely upon comments them. At that point, written in first-yearcomposition courses toprompt revisions.And Iconcluded, in any definitive way what "We do not know tary or what effect, if any, our comments more constitutes (148). In the Harvard effective writers" commen thoughtful have on helping our students Study, though, we become looked at all comments students receivedover fouryears.Outside the first-yearor upper divisionwriting courses,we learned, students rarelyreceivewriting instruc tion and are rarelyrequiredto revise.Consequently, instructors'comments on final drafts take on an even greater role; they often become instruction. After following four hundred writing challenge my earlier conclusion the only place for for four years, Inow students that feedback plays a leading role by arguing in undergraduatewriting development when, but only when, students and teachers create a partnership ers engage with ing honest through feedback- paired with critique a transaction inwhich by treating them as apprentice their students instruction. in this The role of the student exchange is to be open to an instructor's comments, responses not as personal reading and hearing attacks or as isolated moments career but, rather, as instructive teach scholars, offer and portable words their in a college writing to take with them to the next assignment, across the drafts. write it-we ments for their students. But ifwe understand have great expectations Colleges how slow writing is-that development a college paper, to have something forward as writers, students resonate with to say to a reader who wants rather humble about the enterprise become move is, how long it takes to learn how to of commenting. they do so because such comments that our students are already think some aspect of their writing ing about. As we learned from the students we followed, most fortunately, do not move or overwhelm often are written the most improvement; otherwise, assume to the paper, not look a lot like check marks comments turned with comments forward as writers because them, going unread and unused. As one student comments whelming students cryptic a good too much their job is to comment to hear If our com of comments treatment un comments, they underwhelm suggested, "Too to the student." The under and squiggles, like "B+; your or papers re style needs of the topic." The overwhelming on the part of a student, as if instructors on every compositional element imagine all at once, and as if 250 This content downloaded from 136.165.238.131 on Tue, 05 Aug 2014 14:53:31 UTC All use subject to JSTOR Terms and Conditions R E -V IS O I N S theybelieve thatpointing out such errorswill prevent students fromevermak ing them again. What in every conversation emerged about their students its absence or presence, is the power of feedback, college writing we had with to shape their writing experiences.As one student toldme, "Withouta reader,thewhole pro cess is diminished." ceive was in our survey of four hundred revealed the comments care deeply about That students they re students, who were asked as juniors to offer one piece of advice to improve writing instruction at Harvard. Overwhelmingly-almost 90 percent-they responded:urge faculty to give And when we asked students specific comments. more each year to describe their best writing experiences, two overriding characteristics emerged: the opportunity to write opportunity to engage with an instructor from students' might expect about to the student, through feedback. What is that feedback plays amuch testimonials from mere words in the margins scribbled per; feedback plays an important to help students that matters something in large lecture classes, and to give them a sense of academic is diminished"; process clear or at the end of a pa social role, especially feel less anonymous out a reader "the whole became larger role than we it isn't just that with As we learned from the students we followed, belonging. and the rather, it is with a thoughtful readerthat thewhole process isenriched,deepened, and inscribed inmemory. One might valuable is often easily to students imagine because that this partnership around feedback is so it affirms them as writers. And, yes, affirmation the end result, but a key finding is that constructive criticism, more than encouraging praise, often pushes students forwardwith theirwriting; constructivecriticismmore thanpraise revealsinstructors'investments in their students' untapped take-are writing potential. In the case of praise, the messages at this college; you are not the admissions you belong vitally important to propel first-year it contains committee's students and to inspire them to work harder. But over a college such praise is not paired with constructive back-and-forth exchange between criticism, when student one mis forward with it doesn't and teacher, writer their career, when involve a and reader, it has the opposite effect. Instead,undeserved praise neglects to offer students an incentive to improve, nor does future papers. Students who tors such as "I have nothing writers what because it provide repeatedly any alternative receive comments to say about this well-written they are never asked to do anything skills they need to develop, nor are they engaged approaches for from their instruc paper:' often stall as differently, never shown in a dialogue that chal lenges theirown thinking. 251 This content downloaded from 136.165.238.131 on Tue, 05 Aug 2014 14:53:31 UTC All use subject to JSTOR Terms and Conditions CCC 58:2 / DECEMBER The surprise was watching so many 2006 students make great leaps in their writing development after receivingwhat they identified as tough and honest assessment of theirwork. Forone student,Ellery,theharsh critiquehe received as a junior was litical science rush-hour the only thing that could shake him from his glibness. His po instructor wrote: "Ellery, this is supposed radio talk show. What but it is not the kind of writing you write that goes under the label of academic." Though blunt, this response was written inwhich a lengthy comment She goes on tomodel the way inwhich not as a pronouncement, the instructor the kind of questions tough in her assessment, but in the context of engaged with Ellery and his ideas. he might readers might skeptical to be an essay, not a is a good piece of entertainment, have asked and to model look at the same evidence. Although treated him as a colleague, Ellery's instructor some one capable of great things, even if not yet achieved. This kind of intellectual partnership academic created other, and questioning showed Ellery that he was part of an each other's thinking. Criticism it has to be paired with is not enough; like praise, But in the call and response instruction. instructors model when feedback through community, made up of thinkers sorting out ideas, arguing with each an image of a reader at the other end of the writing students of feedback, a live, listening person, for their students they offer process, someone willing to listen and comment, criticallyyet constructively. The success of this partnership ness to hear and accept honest has as much to do with of their work assessment students' willing as it does with in structors'willingness to offer such responses. Ellery, for instance, received honest assessments ments didn't help him become responses of his writing as his instructors' structors' comments use these comments kind of paper to work graduate writing: in a philosophy ments asked as a junior how he might in future assignments, responded: through." Jackson tomove from discipline course one semester, intuited since he believes a Haydn piano sonata that each essay assignment discrete unit. In Jackson's view of writing, but also isolated students what comments makes on a particular of under about Confucius in a music course clear that itwill be to future writing is defined assign by its topic, a are tailored to each essay from all other essays, and their purpose they did wrong and a different the great challenge level, Jackson's observation another use his in "I don't think I can to discipline, writing for him to apply even the best comments these he dismissed since each paper is a different assignment the next. But on another difficult because Or, in the case ofJackson, idiosyncrasies. in our study, who, when student his first and second years, but these assess a stronger writer is, simply, to show assignment. 252 This content downloaded from 136.165.238.131 on Tue, 05 Aug 2014 14:53:31 UTC All use subject to JSTOR Terms and Conditions R E -V IS O I N S We learn from Jackson's undergraduate a good writer coming involves an instructor standing what how to put that advice correct stems stasis as a writer career that part of be intends and in the practical in other courses into effect that his essay on Confucius is a text onto from his belief to another. Because assignment writing to receive criticism, learning in under both sense of knowing and contexts. Jackson that there is no continuity he sees no way to transport paper to the next, he reads his instructors' is itself, but part of Jackson's from one lessons from one as isolated moments comments in his collegewriting career,not as bridges between assignments. Even the best, most comments thoughtful will not move students like Jackson forward as writers. But for any writer read comments learning how to receive and accept not as judgment about one's failings as a writer, quick to dismiss or deflect their most mental, college writing is not simple, especially intimate sages of hope or despair about who how to for beginners who are ismonu feedback interaction with and direct their implicitly or explicitly, with mes they are and who become they might one student will respond, "My greatest ink is gratitude:" another critique, as a human being, or feedback. For first-year students, personal, most culture. And feedback comes, students. While ments mean about one's limitations reaction as to all that red first-year will shrug and say, "I guess all these com he didn't really like my paper." Or, if a first-year student believes, as one told me, that the purpose of her composition how to "write quickly, adequately, attitude might course was and painlessly," we understand prevent her from being open to comments to teach her why such an that ask her to slow down, read texts closely and carefully, and, in aword, change. The differences among first-year students, we found, are less about ability and more openness and receptivity ences as something We to comments, feedback, is a first-year predictors student's willingness to see it as instruction, not merely of undergraduate to accept to their students what dents are open to learning is expected about sense of the expectations son at a time, and not overwhelming pects of their writing something differently at once, inwhich from instructors of them as college writers, these expectations. By giving of academic writing, them by asking instructors de writing and benefit as judgment. At its best, feedback comes out of an exchange plain generalized experi under their control, not random and outside of themselves. found that one of the important velopment about an a way of seeing their writing show the next time. The comments ex and stu students teaching a one les them to improve all as their students that students how to do identify as 253 This content downloaded from 136.165.238.131 on Tue, 05 Aug 2014 14:53:31 UTC All use subject to JSTOR Terms and Conditions CCC the most 58:2 helpful are responses hand with a glance Consider, that straddle the present world to her weak "Louisa, a technique an intriguing detail, especially Beginning in this manner that can work well Here is her instructor's for opening one you find difficult a paper is to to account for. not only draws in your reader, but also forces you as to grapple with a troubling aspect of the text, which can often be a key in turn, can focus your thesis set aside. This, that you had previously aspect in our study, re student thesis and introduction. comment: of the paper at one lesson for the future. the feedback Louisa, another begin with awriter 2006 to the next paper, articulating for instance, ceived in response / DECEMBER and argument." As a sophomore, is showing you how." But as a junior, she nobody to work with fortunate was an instructor who didn't assume in his class as a fully formed writer. Instead, the instructor an evolving writer. The tone of his comment apprentice, fully, as a writing reader with academic lesson on how an arguable claim. By giving Louisa calls for-write writing about what might start with details because they engage to offer a bridge his comment that when concluded function to anchor Writing is phrased, a generalized those than you first imagined; instructor readers-Louisa's taken seriously the role of an attentive in their academic a sense of what you don't understand; important have been respect to engage composes assignments. as apprentice reader, such comments lives and, ultimately, make a in their college writing. vast difference is painstakingly development not amother be more students students treated Louisa as an for her to cross to future writing instructors model writers, when that she arrived to arrive at a thesis, and how things you have dismissed We in an interview: "It's tough get Louisa had complained ting better as a writer when tongue; its conventions slow because require instruction academic writing is and practice, years of imitation and experimentation in rehearsingother people's argumentsbefore being able to articulate that feedback the best open feedback, dents doesn't move to its instruction from the Harvard students forward as writers or if they don't understand and critique, as bridges to future writing to improve as writers, a number of factors are necessary: comments, throughout they need plenty of opportunities their college careers, not merely plenty of opportunities year, especially to receive writing instruction is Study learn towrite, but feedback alone, even comments their instructors' honest one's own. The conclusion shapes the way students if they are not how to use assignments. For stu in addition to practice to writing in one course or in one year, and instruction in and beyond the first in one discipline's method. 254 This content downloaded from 136.165.238.131 on Tue, 05 Aug 2014 14:53:31 UTC All use subject to JSTOR Terms and Conditions I N S R E -V IS O Feedback is rooted as in any relationship, in the partnership it develops between student and teacher, and its own language and meaning. this That relationship provides students theirmost direct contact with their college writing culture simple enough. But what seems isn't simple is the profound influence the relationship created through feedbackhas, not only upon stu dents'writing development, but also upon students' sense of themselves as thinkers. When students receivefeedbacktellingthem theyhave "greatinsights" that their instructorshave "neverseen the topic discussed thisway before;'or that there might students be "awhole for them to imagine, level of other questions" that their teachers view them as people understand "with things to say," thinkers capable of insight and asking other levels of questions. a student Or, when tells us that he will always hear his instructor's voice telling him to it is not just the instructor's words change his ideas, revise his thinking, the student hears and carries with him across the drafts; it is also the instructor's belief in the student as a thinker, someone capable of doing good work, even if as a first-year student he is not yet accomplishing as an invitation to feedback demic conversation, imagine their instructors not readers waiting that is kept back and forth between giver and receiver, and outward college on the role of feedback career, told me about such a gift: "If Ibumped minds connected The word with know what passed moving into the world. One writing into one of my professors this professor twenty of my work; our thought at this juncture of my paper, and Iwill always be indebted." of obligation, of being beholden. it a feeling of appreciation indebtedness in motion, in his undergraduate indebted caught me off guard. Indebtedness, a connotation as to re of a "true gift" not just as a possession from giver to receiver but, rather, something years from now, Iwould respond on a given paper. they've done wrong I once read a definition senior, reflecting students of their own to an aca something students to learn from their contributions, readers waiting port what to contribute they do so because it.When goes two ways, after all, carries with But indebtedness it also carries a legacy of connectedness. And like any bridge. As teachers, we respond to our and gratitude, students' great insights because we are grateful for the insights they have given us. And in encouraging our students too, are inspired to think more widely monumental, but its influence often As our students and deeply. Feedback and reader, between we, doesn't need to be is. teach us, their papers don't end when in for a grade, nor do our comments between writer to imagine other levels of questions, end when we write student they turn them them. The partnership and teacher, creates something 255 This content downloaded from 136.165.238.131 on Tue, 05 Aug 2014 14:53:31 UTC All use subject to JSTOR Terms and Conditions CCC new-a collection around, moving 58:-2 / DECEMBER 2006 of ideas that are larger than the paper forth into the world, itself, ideas milling across the drafts. Acknowledgments through the various drafts of this essay, I have been fortunate to re from wise colleagues and friends. Iwould like to acknowledge the As Iworked ceive comments of the following colleagues tomy own thinking about this topic: Joshua Alper, David Bartholomae, Patricia Bellanca, Faye Halpern, Gordon Harvey, Karen Heath, Jim Herron, Tom Jehn, Suzanne Lane, Soo La Kim, Emily enormous contributions O'Brien, Stuart Pizer,Maxine Rodburg,Jane Rosenzweig, Susanna Ryan, Laura Saltz, Mimi Schwartz, Dawn Skorczewski, Stephen Sutherland, Kerry Walk, and Suzanne Young. Notes 1.A rich and abundant literature exists on the topic of responding to student writ ing. Inparticular, Iwould mention the important work of Chris Anson, Lil Brannon and Cy Knoblauch, Summer Smith, Richard Straub and Ronald Lunsford, and Kathleen Blake Yancey. see http:// 2. To learn more about the Harvard Study of Undergraduate Writing, To www.fas.harvard.edu/~expos. Anne Marcia Herrington, Lunsford and provide field?Marilyn and Carroll, the value demonstrated than perspective Ann Lee research focused Jenn of upon Sternglass, Andrea Fishman, studies longitudinal one college to or one course year. undergraduate the voices 3. To bring have colleagues a wider date, Curtis, in our scholars my responding, into of undergraduates colleague, Jane a discussion larger pedagogical a film, I created and Rosenzweig, Across about the Drafts: Students and Teachers Talk about Feedback. In this film, we follow one student, Jon Stona, and his writing the posing a wide of range Tom teacher, students, Jehn, as they in Jon's first-year last assignment first-years move writing through of com the process through course. The film also as well seniors, as their features professors, speaking about the challenges and rewards of receiving and giving feedback. The film can be viewed on the Harvard Study Web site, http://www.fas.harvard.edu/ ~expos; copies of the film can be obtained to by writing wrstudy@fas.harvard.edu. Works Cited "Response Styles and of Knowing." Writing and and Practice, Response: Theory, Anson, Chris M. Brannon, Research. NCTE, Ed. Chris M. Anson. Lil, and C. H. Knoblauch. Students' Ways Model Rights of Teacher to Their Own "On Texts: A Response." College and Communication 33.2 Composition 157-66. (1982): Urbana: 1989. 332-66. 256 This content downloaded from 136.165.238.131 on Tue, 05 Aug 2014 14:53:31 UTC All use subject to JSTOR Terms and Conditions R E - V IS IO N S Lee Ann. Carroll, College Students Writers. Carbondale: Fishman, Roles: Response as Develop Southern Composition (1997): 249-68. Illinois Sommers, et al. "Performing Jenn, to Student "Responding and Composition 33.2 (1982): 148-56. to Know S. Time Marilyn Sternglass, 224-52. Them: A Longitudinal Study ofWriting and at the College Learning 1997. NJ: Erlbaum, Strain: The "Repetitive to Student of Responding 134-135 ADE Bulletin (Spring Gordon. Injuries Writing." Fall 2003): Straub, 43-48. Curtis. Anne J., and Marcia in Process: Four Stories of Herrington, Persons Writing and Personal College. Urbana: Smith, Nancy. College Writing." Communication Writing, Literacy." College Composi Performing 57.2 (2005): tion and Communication Harvey, to Student Writing." College 48.2 and Communication 2002. Press, University New Rehearsing How Readers College Student Reading: Writing. to Responding Cresskill, NJ: 1995. Hampton, Back Blake. "Looking Yancey, Kathleen We Look Forward: Historicizing as Writing and Assessment." College Composition Communication 50.3 (1999): 483-503. of the End in Teacher Conventions F. Lunsford. and Ronald Richard, Twelve in Development NCTE, 2000. "The Genre Summer. Comment: Level. Mahwah, toStudent AResponseto"Responding theConversation: Recovering theDrafts" via"Across Writing" CarolRutz CarletonCollege Nancy Sommers and I agree on her assessment to Student Writing"-that of her 1982 essay, "Responding it reflects "the absence of any 'real' students." Even thoughSommers and her colleagues conducted interviewsof studentwriters with in connection their research, sis and critique. As Sommers student ismissing-and, and teacher mospherics points with out, the "language it, the context that context, and the local meanings in the established for the relationship in a given classroom. Without of the classroom as the sites for analy text and teacher comments cism, using both the student classroom" the thrust of the 1982 essay is textual criti established between both the at in that cli mate vanish, leaving textual artifacts that reveal only part of the communicative story. Sommers context is not alone in paying insufficient in her early research on student writing. attention Other to the classroom thoughtful studies by prestigious scholarshave produced impressiveanalyses of teachercomments 257 This content downloaded from 136.165.238.131 on Tue, 05 Aug 2014 14:53:31 UTC All use subject to JSTOR Terms and Conditions