Some Challenges of Scientific
Style
University Learning Centre
Writing Help
Ron Cooley, Professor of English
ron.cooley@usask.ca
http://www.usask.ca/ulc/?q=node/9
Weak Writing =Rejection
• “Although there was not a direct relationship
between the acceptance rate and the
amount of language errors, there was a
clear indication that badly written articles
correlated with a high rejection rate.”
•
Coates, Sturgeon, Bohannan, Pasini: ”Language and publication in
'Cardiovascular Research' articles.” Cardiovascular Research 53.2,
2002.
Origins of Scientific Style:
Thomas Sprat’s History of the Royal Society
(1667)
• They [the Royal Society] have therefore been most
rigorous in putting in execution, the only Remedy, that
can be found for this extravagance: and that has been, a
constant Resolution, to reject all the amplifications,
digressions, and swellings of style: to return back to the
primitive purity, and shortness, when men deliver'd so
many things, almost in an equal number of words. They
have exacted from all their members, a close, naked,
natural way of speaking; positive expressions; clear
senses; a native easiness: bringing all things as near the
Mathematical plainness, as they can: and preferring the
language of Artizans, Countrymen, and Merchants,
before that, of Wits, or Scholars.
What were the early proponents of
scientific style against:
• Amplification—saying the same thing
several times in different words.
• Digression—pursuing “side issues” in the
main body of a piece of writing.
• “swellings”—using more words, or more
elaborate words, than necessary.
What did the early advocates of
scientific style favour?
• “Shortness”—choose the fewest words and the
simplest words that convey the meaning
• “so many things, almost in an equal number of
words”
• ECONOMY / CONCISENESS
• “Mathematical plainness”— they likened
language to mathematical calculation.
• PRECISION and ACCURACY
The Challenge of a Modern
Scientific Style?
• To say “so many things, almost in an equal
number of words” is impossible.
• Accuracy and Precision often require us to use
more words.
• Economy asks us to use fewer words.
• How do we balance the two?
Is there an order of priority?
• Is it better to sacrifice economy to gain
accuracy and precision
• or to sacrifice accuracy and precision to
gain economy?
• Why?
Use extra words
• To increase accuracy and
precision
• NOT just to “sound scientific”
• Compose for accuracy and
precision
–Include whatever may be
necessary
• Revise to improve economy
and clarity
–Cut what you can
2 Main Elements of Style: Diction
and Syntax
• Diction refers to word choice. Accuracy and
precision are largely matters of diction: choosing
the correct word or phrase to express your
meaning.
• Syntax refers to sentence structure. A balanced
scientific style uses
– simple sentences (often) for clarity and emphasis
– compound sentences (occasionally) to add or link
information
– complex sentences (occasionally) to define
relationships between information (e.g. causal,
sequential, conditional)
Diction
• Faults of Accuracy: using a word that doesn’t
mean what you intend. Often these are the
frequently-confused words.
• e.g. effect/affect.
• USE A DICTIONARY to check accuracy.
Bookmark a good online dictionary so it is
always at your fingertips when you write.
Some frequently confused words
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accept
adverse
affect
allot
ambiguous
among
beside
can
cite
compare
compare to
complement
except
averse
effect
a lot
ambivalent
between
besides
may
site
contrast
compare with
compliment
http://www.edufind.com/ENGLISH/writing/easily_confused_words.cfm
The Dangers of
Electronic Spell Check
• Spelling Checkers won’t help you with
frequently confused words.
• Why not?
Diction
• Faults of Precision: using a word that is
correct/accurate, but not sufficiently
precise or specific.
• Precision can contribute to economy.
• Using precise terms can help you to avoid
adding an extra explanatory sentence.
Diction
• Imprecise: After several days of the new food
the animals’ behaviour became abnormal.
• More precise: After several days of the new
food the animals became lethargic.
• More precise: After several days of the new
food the animals became agitated.
– The imprecise version is perfectly accurate, but it
allows for diametrically opposed interpretations.
– It would require either an extra sentence of
clarification or a more precise term.
Diction: Abbreviations
• Science writing relies on abbreviations.
• It’s easy to use too many abbreviations, or non-standard
abbreviations.
• Use abbreviations that are customary in your discipline
• Normally, spell them out in full the first time.
• In the membrane-bound Fo sector of the
enzyme, H+ binding and release occur at Asp61 in the middle of the second transmembrane
helix (TMH) of subunit c.
•
Sample sentences from Christine M. Angevine, Kelly A. G. Herold, and Robert H.
Fillingame,“Aqueous access pathways in subunit a of rotary ATP synthase
extend to both sides of the membrane,” PNAS November 11, 2003 vol. 100 no. 23
13179-13183
Syntax
Syntax refers to sentence structure. A
balanced scientific style uses
– simple sentences (often) for emphasis
– compound sentences (occasionally) to add or
link information
– complex sentences (occasionally) to define
relationships between information (e.g.
causal, sequential, conditional)
Simple Sentences
• A simple sentence has a subject (a noun or
pronoun); a predicate (a verb), and sometimes
an object (another noun or pronoun).
• “I like Samosas”
• You can add modifiers (descriptive words or
phrases) and it’s still a simple sentence.
• “In an Indian restaurant I order Samosas as an
appetizer”
• Don’t be afraid to use simple sentences in
scientific writing. It won’t make your writing
sound “simplistic.”
Simple Sentences
• H+ transporting F1Fo ATP synthases
consist of two structurally and functionally
distinct sectors termed F1 and Fo.
• This is still a simple sentence:
• H+ transporting F1Fo ATP synthases
consist of two structurally and functionally
distinct sectors termed F1 and Fo.
•
Angevine et al.
Why use Simple Sentences?
• Nouns and verbs in scientific writing are
often heavily modified.
• A lot of descriptive terms are attached to
ensure accuracy and precision.
• Adding grammatical complexity on top of
complex terminology can make sentences
unnecessarily confusing.
Long sentences
• possibly the single most obvious problem
• sentences seemed to try to hide rather than clarify
medical data!
• ‘The soluble form of B2 micro-globulin (B2 m) HLA class
I heavy chain (FHC) consists of three size variants,
namely the intact lipid-soluble 43 kDa heavy chain (A
variant), released through a shedding process; the
truncated water soluble 39 kDa heavy chain (B variant),
which lacks the trans-membrane segment and is
produced by an alternative RNA splicing and the 34–36
kDa (C variant), which lacks the trans-membrane and
intratoplasmatic portion of the molecules.’
•
Coates, Sturgeon, Bohannan, Pasini: ”Language and publication in 'Cardiovascular
Research' articles.” Cardiovascular Research 53.2, 2002.
Angevine et al. use a high
proportion of simple sentences.
• Very few of the residues reported here are
sensitive to inhibition by NEM. This may be due
to the restricted size of the pathway through
which protons reach cAsp-61. The small size of
the Ag+ ion, relative to the bulkier NEM, may
make it an ideal probe of the aqueous access
pathways in subunit a.
• Two simple sentences with a short complex
sentence in between.
Compound sentences
• Compound sentences join simple sentences
with coordinating conjunctions
• “and,” “but,” “or,” “so,”
• “Subunit a is believed to provide access
channels to the proton-binding Asp-61 residue,
but the actual proton translocation pathway is
only partially defined (3–5).”
•
Angevine et al.
Parallel structure
• We often make compound sentences more
economical by using parallel structure.
• Here we have substituted Cys into the second
and fifth TMHs of subunit a and [we have-implied] carried out chemical modification with
Ag+ and N-ethylmaleimide to define the
aqueous accessibility of residues along these
helices.
• Lists are common instances of parallel structure.
Faulty parallel structure
• elements in a parallel structure need to be
logically and grammatically parallel.
• “Arsenic compounds are also used in
pigments, wood preservation, insecticides,
copper and lead alloys.”
• Which term in the list doesn’t fit, and why
not?
Complex sentences
• A complex sentences has an independent
clause joined by one or more dependent (or
subordinate) clauses
• We use complex sentences to express
relationships—causation, sequence, contrast
• A complex sentence always has a subordinator
such as because, since, after, although, when or
a relative pronoun such as that, who, or which.
Complex sentences
• aTMH2 appears to provide an aqueous pathway
leading from the periplasm to the center of the
membrane, whereas Ag+-sensitive residues in
aTMH4 extend from the center of the membrane
to the cytoplasmic surface.
• When TMH2, -4, and -5 are brought into
juxtaposition, they may form an aqueous cavity
at the center of the membrane, which would
locate primarily to the center of the modeled
four-helix bundle.
Relative clauses (beginning with
“which”/”that”)
• Be particularly careful adding relative clauses to
the end of a sentence.
• These clauses are modifiers, so it MUST be
clear which term in the sentence they modify.
• When TMH2, -4, and -5 are brought into
juxtaposition, they may form an aqueous cavity
at the center of the membrane, which would
locate primarily to the center of the modeled
four-helix bundle (Fig. 6A ).
• Which term does the final clause modify?
Why it matters whether you use
“which” or “that”
• Restrictive clauses use “that”
• She was taking medications “a” and “b”
along with “c” that caused the negative
side effects
• Non-restrictive clauses use “that”
• She was taking medications “a” and “b”
along with “c,” which caused the negative
side effects
Sentence Variety
• Too many complex sentences in
succession are hard to digest.
• Every paragraph needs one or two simple
or compound sentences.
• Use them for emphasis or clarification, or
simply to give your reader a break.
Word Order
• English sentences rely heavily on word order to
convey meaning. Readers expect Subject, Verb
and (sometimes Object) to be in close proximity,
and usually in that order.
• So write most sentences in a way that satisfies
your reader’s expectations.
• Avoid putting too many descriptive phrases
and clauses between the subject and verb!
Word Order
• H+ transporting F1Fo ATP synthases
consist of two structurally and functionally
distinct sectors termed F1 and Fo.
• This sentence is clear partly because the
grammatically essential elements (subject
and verb) are close together, in customary
order.
A difficult scientific sentence:
• The osmoregulatory organ, which is
located at the base of the third dorsal
spine on the outer margin of the terminal
papillae and functions by expelling excess
sodium ions, activates only under
hypertonic conditions.
•
•
Writing in the Sciences
http://www.unc.edu/depts/wcweb/handouts/sciences.html
A difficult scientific sentence:
• The osmoregulatory organ, which is
located at the base of the third dorsal
spine on the outer margin of the terminal
papillae and functions by expelling excess
sodium ions, activates only under
hypertonic conditions.
• The Subject and Verb are far apart
Revised for economy
• The osmoregulatory organ, located at the base of
the third dorsal spine on the outer margin of the
terminal papillae, expels excess sodium ions, but
only under hypertonic conditions.
– “”which” clause turned into a descriptive phrase
– Participle (“expelling”) turned back into main verb
– Excess verbs (“functions” and “activates”) eliminated
Further revised for clarity and
variety
• Located at the base of the third dorsal
spine on the outer margin of the terminal
papillae, the osmoregulatory organ expels
excess sodium ions, but only under
hypertonic conditions.
– Descriptive phrase shifted to introductory
position
– Subject verb and object close together
• We tend to begin sentences with the
subject.
• It’s more important for the subject and
verb to be close together than for the
subject to be the first word.
Verb tense
• The general stylistic rule is to use present
tense for statements of fact, definitions,
generalizations, abstract or theoretical
statements,
• and use past tense for description of real
world events.
• In science writing this means different
parts of a paper are predominantly in
different tenses.
• Be consistent within sections.
Past Tense
• Past tense is normally used to describe
experimental procedures and observations.
• All mutations were confirmed by sequencing the
cloned fragment through the ligation sites. All
experiments were performed with the mutant
whole operon plasmid derivative of pCMA113 in
the unc operon deletion host strain JWP292 (2).
All plasmid transformant strains were tested for
growth on succinate and glucose as described
(5).
Present Tense
• Present Tense tends to be used in stating
research questions, reviewing literature, and
generalizing from observations.
• The role of subunit a in promoting proton
translocation and rotary motion in the
Escherichia coli F1Fo ATP synthase is poorly
understood. (Opening sentence)
• The most Ag+-sensitive residues in aTMH5
cluster at the center of the membrane and
extend toward the periplasmic surface.
(Discussion Section)
Active and Passive voice in
Scientific Writing
What IS the “passive voice”?
• The passive voice makes the object of
the action into the subject of the
sentence.
• Passive: The experiment was
conducted (by . . . )
• Active: We conducted the experiment.
Why Science writing relies on the
passive voice
• the passive voice is especially helpful (and even
regarded as mandatory) in scientific or technical writing
or lab reports, where the actor is not really important but
the process or principle being described is of ultimate
importance. Instead of writing "I poured 20 cc of acid into
the beaker," we would write "Twenty cc of acid is/was
poured into the beaker." The passive voice is also useful
when describing, say, a mechanical process in which the
details of process are much more important than
anyone's taking responsibility for the action: "The first
coat of primer paint is applied immediately after the acid
rinse."
•
Marc E. Tischler, SCIENTIFIC WRITING BOOKLET, Department of
Biochemistry & Molecular Biophysics University of Arizona
Problems with Passive
constructions
• Passive constructions are a source of wordiness, and
sometimes obscurity.
• Often agency is important in science (e.g. when claiming
credit for accomplishments)
• We have previously proposed a model for rotary function
in which the concerted swiveling of helices within the
four-helix bundle of subunit a may provide a mechanism
of gating alternate access of protons to cAsp-61, and in
turn be linked to the mechanical movements driving cring rotation (4). (Angevine et al)
• The basic style rule is to use the active voice when you
can, the passive voice when you have good reason.
Active Voice works well when the
experimenter is not the subject of
the sentence.
• The c subunit spans the membrane as a
hairpin of two α-helices, and in the case of E.
coli, contains the essential Asp-61 residue at
the center of the second transmembrane
helix (TMH).
• You could rewrite this sentence in the
passive voice (The membrane is spanned
by the c subunit . . . ) but it would become
very confusing.
Angevine et al. use passive voice to
describe experimental procedures
• All mutations were confirmed by
sequencing the cloned fragment through
the ligation sites. All experiments were
performed with the mutant whole operon
plasmid derivative of pCMA113 in the unc
operon deletion host strain JWP292 (2).
All plasmid transformant strains were
tested for growth on succinate and
glucose as described (5).
• Thanks for your Patience!
Workshopping Sentences
• The results of the investigations conducted
in this thesis show that the achieved
control designs are effective in damping
interarea oscillations as well as the high
torsional torques induced in turbinegenerator shafts due to clearing and highspeed reclosing of transmission system
faults.
•
Amr Eldamaty, “Damping Interarea and Torsional Oscillations Using
FACTS Devices.”
Revised for clarity and economy
• These investigations show that the
achieved control designs are effective in
damping interarea oscillations as well as
the high torsional torques induced in
turbine-generator shafts by clearing and
high-speed reclosing of transmission
system faults.
Workshopping Sentences
• In this study, success has also been
achieved in the integration of the slow
(kinetically controlled) formation of TMs
and copper-tetrathiomolybdate (TM4)
complexation into the previously
developed model for the rapidly
equilibrating copper-ligand speciation.
•
Joseph Essilfie-Dughan, “Speciation Modelling of Copper(II) in the
Thiomolybdate – Contaminated Bovine Rumen.”
• This work (or method or technique) also
successfully integrated the slow
(kinetically controlled) formation of TMs
and copper-tetrathiomolybdate (TM4)
complexation into the previously
developed model for the rapidly
equilibrating copper-ligand speciation.
Workshopping Sentences
• The structure revealed that no significant
structural rearrangements are induced by
the mutation and the inability to accept
phosphotransfer from Enzyme I is due to
electrostatic disruption of the interaction of
these proteins.
•
Scott Napper, “Phosphorylation Sites of HPr”
Other tips for Economy (avoiding
wordiness)
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1. Eliminate unnecessary determiners and modifiers
2. Change phrases into single words
3. Change unnecessary that, who, and which clauses into
phrases
4. Avoid overusing expletives at the beginning of sentences
5. Use active rather than passive verbs (See separate
discussion)
6. Avoid overusing noun forms of verbs
7. Reword unnecessary infinitive phrases
8. Replace circumlocutions with direct expressions
9. Omit words that explain the obvious or provide excessive
detail
10. Omit repetitive wording