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Sophomore Research Project Manual—2011 edition
Note to Student: This is YOUR manual. It has everything you need to know about Sophomore Project. If you
choose not to read the manual, you are still responsible for any information in it!
Evaluating Topics (What is Sophomore Project?)…………………………………….…………………………….….……….……2
Definition of Plagiarism ……………………………………………………………………………………….…….….……….…….3
Cheating Survey ………………………………………………………………………………………………………..….…………..4
How to create a turnitin.com account ……………………………………………………………………………………..……………4
Intro Research Checklist/Due Dates ……………………………………………………………………………….……..…….…….5
Guidelines for Recording Source Info (for source cards and Works Cited)…………………………………….………….….6-11
How to use ONLINE DATABASES ………………………………………………………………………………………………..…11
How to determine whether a source is reliable or not………………………………………………………………………………12-13
Reliability Checklist ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………..…14-15
Source Cards and Note Cards
How To and Samples …………………………………………………………………………………………….……….15-16
Letter of Intent
Format ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..……...17
Sample Good Letter ……………………………………………………………………………………………….…….…..18
Reminders and Peer Editing Directions ……………………………………………………………………….…….………19
Yes Test ……………………………………………………………………………………………………….…….………20
Thesis Statements
How To Do… ……………………………………………………………………………………………….…….……..21-22
Practice ……………………………………………………………………………………………………….…….……22-23
Supporting Your Thesis……………….…………………………………………………………………….……….………23
Methods of Organization ……………………………………….………………………………………..………………………….24
Outlines
How to…………………………………………………………………………………………………………….………...25
Samples …………………………………………………….………………………………………………..…………..26-30
Reminders …………………………………………………………………………………………………….……………..30
Assignment …………………………………………………………………………………………….……………………31
Yes Test ……………………………………………………………………………………………….…………………….31
Quotes—
Instructions & Samples (both good and bad)………………………………….……………………………..…………..31-32
Writing Paraphrases ………………………………………………………………………….…………………………. 33-40
Practice Paraphrasing ……………………………………………………………………….……………………………34-40
Samples—BOTH GOOD AND BAD……………………………………………………………………………………34-40
MLA Format
Parenthetical Documentation (When + Why + How) …………………………….……………………………….……40-42
Sample Paragraph with Citations ……………………………………………………………….…………….…………….42
Citation DON’Ts! ……………………………………………………………………………….………….………………42
Practice ………………………………………………………………………………………….……….………………….42
Research Paper
Header, Computer Requirements, Reminders ………………………………………………….………………………………….43
A Guide to Drafting ……………………………………………………………………………………………………44-46
Introductions, Developing the Middle, Conclusions …………………………….…………….……………..…………44-46
General Tips ………………………………………………………………………………………………….……………..46
Sample Paper and Activity ………………..……………….………………………………………………….…………47-50
Works Cited ………………………………………………………………………..…………….………..……………50-53
Samples …………………………………………….………………………………...…………….………..…………..51-53
Reminders + Practice ……………………………………………………………………………………………..…………53
Research Paper Yes Test ………………………….…………………………………………………….………………..…54
Revising Instructions and Checklist …………………………………………………………………….…………….55-57
Editing and Proofreading Instructions and Checklist ………………………………………….……………………….58
Rubric ………………………………………………………………………………………………….……………………59
Extra Practice Using Student Papers……………………………………………….…………………….………………60-63
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Portfolio
Checklist, Rubric, Requirements ………………………………………………...………………………..………….……..64
Power Point
Requirements …………………………………………………………………………...………………………………..…65
Self Reflection Tips ………………………………………………………………………………………………………..………………..………66
Speech Skills
Notes and Tips …………………………………………………………………………………….…………………….67-68
Rubric …………………………………………………………………………………………….…………………………69
Special Thanks to: Toni Walker, Nancy Mann, Writers’ Inc., Holt Handbook 2, former students, and the OWL at Perdue☺.
Before you begin!
Understanding the Project ... When you are assigned a research paper, your teacher will probably suggest
a few general subject areas. It will be up to you to explore these for a specific writing idea that meets
the assignment requirements and genuinely interests you.
You can choose just about any topic, assuming that you can find enough information.
You will need: one book source, one online magazine/news source, three other sources of
your choice except Wikipedia.
However, your paper must “fit” into one of the following types:
Cause and Effect
Problem/Solution
Compare/Contrast
Argumentative/Persuasive (only recommended for stronger writers)
YOUR PAPER CANNOT BE PURELY INFORMATIONAL, like “the history of…”
Evaluating a Possible Subject ...
If you can answer yes to each of the following questions,
your subject is probably worth exploring:
Am I truly interested in the subject?
Does it meet the requirements of the assignment?
Do I have access to enough information?
Is the subject limited enough?
Sophomore Project=research paper, portfolio,
Powerpoint, & speech during the 2nd 9 weeks
Paper=15% of second nine weeks’ grade
Ppt.=10 % of second nine weeks’ grade
Portfolio=10% of second nine weeks’ grade
Speech=10 % of second nine weeks’ grade
Your final exam grade is the
average of all four components.
The last question is very important. You couldn't, for example, write a research paper about "underground water."
Where would you begin or end? Nor could you write about "aquifers" (a source of underground water). The subject is
still too general. However, the "Ogallala Aquifer" would be a subject limited enough to cover adequately in a
research paper. (What type of paper would you write about the Ogallala Aquifer?)
Focusing Your Efforts—You will need to do some general research to learn more about your specific subject. THEN YOU
CAN NARROW IT DOWN! Talk to other people. Look at websites. Make a cluster map. ASK YOUR TEACHER!
Bad Topic=WWII
Good topics=The effects of Pearl Harbor, the effects of the Holocaust, the causes of Hitler’s rise to power, etc.
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Before we go any further…
Plagiarism (n.): The presentation of another writer’s ideas or words as if
they were your own, without acknowledging the source.
1. copying word for word without quotation marks or acknowledging the author or the
source.
2. using some key words or phrases without quotation marks or acknowledging the author of
the source.
3. paraphrasing and giving no author or source credit (or paraphrasing incorrectly).
4. using another student’s paper (from AHS or from the internet)
5. NOT LISTENING TO YOUR TEACHER’S INSTRUCTIONS ON HOW TO
CORRECTLY DOCUMENT USING MLA FORMAT AND THEREFORE NOT
INCLUDING PARENTHETICAL DOCUMENTATION OR A WORKS CITED PAGE!
To avoid plagiarism, you should:
Cite not only direct quotes but also ideas that you borrow from your sources. Basically, if you did not think of it
yourself and it came from one of your sources, you must document it.
Documenting means:
using parenthetical documentation within your paper (see pp. 40-42 )
and listing sources (see pp. 50-53) in a list of Works Cited to give credit to those from whom you borrowed information.
Common knowledge does not need to be documented. Material is common knowledge if:
o
o
o
o
Reliable authors refer to it without citing its source
If most people knowledgeable in the field accept it as fact
If few experts would dispute it
And, if it is reported in most introductory textbooks or basic reference books on the subject
Sometimes, even if you knew it before, you still have to cite it!
Better safe than sorry!
Assignment: To check your “cheating knowledge,” take the quiz on the next page.
We’ll discuss your answers when everyone is finished!
Accidental plagiarism=NOT
ALSO, if you do not have a turnitin.com account yet,
you will need to create one ASAP. Turnitin.com helps your teacher
check for plagiarism. There are instructions on the next page.
PARAPHRASING ENOUGH
AND/OR NOT USING MLA
DOCUMENTATION
CORRECTLY! See pp. 31-42.
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Cheating Survey
Directions: Please put a check mark beside any of the following items that
you would consider to be cheating.
Knowingly plagiarizing on a paper
Not reporting all your income on your income taxes
Hanging out with someone of the opposite sex that is not your significant other (but that you are attracted
to…)
Copying someone’s homework (if it’s not going to be graded.)
Copying someone’s homework (if it is going to be graded.)
Looking at your neighbor’s answers during an in-class test
Kissing someone other than your significant other
Buying a paper from a web-download service
Not paying for cable
Copying from someone else’s take-home test
Paying the children’s buffet price when you’re really 16 years old
Accidentally forgetting to give credit to a source in a paper
Claiming deduction expenses on your taxes that aren’t legitimate (i.e. true)
Allowing your best friend/significant other to write a paper for you
Copying someone’s homework because you had to work all night and couldn’t do it yourself
Paying student prices at the movie theater when you graduated two years ago (but still have an ID)
Fill in the blank questions:
What is your personal definition of cheating? Explain, and give examples from school or life.
Are there “levels” of cheating? Y/N? Explain.
If you answered yes to the above question, then answer the next two questions:
1. Which is worse? Copying homework or plagiarizing a paper? Explain.
2. Is premeditated cheating better or worse than “accidental cheating?” Explain your answer, and give examples
from school or life.
If you do not already have a turnitin.com account…follow these directions:
1. Go to http://turnitin.com/static/index.php (or go to Google and type in “turnitin.com”)
2. In the top right hand corner, click on “create account”
3. On the next screen, select “student” and fill in the :
CLASS ID ________________ and CLASS ENROLLMENT PASSWORD ____________
provided by your teacher.
4. Enter a valid email address and a password (you create the password) and follow the
remaining directions.
5. Be sure to pay attention to the password requirements and agree to the user terms
and conditions. Write down your password here if you need to: _________________
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Sophomore Research Checklist/Lab Days/ Due Dates
Materials Needed:
Due by: ________________
A valid network account (you’d be surprised…)
notecards (3x5 and 4x6)
money for the photocopier (and library printing)
(5 pack of colors) HIGHLIGHTERS
paper clips & rubber bands
brown clasp envelope (for your paper)
pens, pencils
USB flash drive
Portfolio items—see page 64
Your teacher will give you a chart much like this one with the specific due dates and lab days for your particular class.
Date
Which Lab
To Work On
Letter of Intent*
Outline*/Thesis*/Notes*/Notecards*
Outline*/Thesis*/Notes*/Notecards*
Outline*/Thesis*/Notes*/Notecards*
Write paper/Revise
Write paper/Revise
Write paper/Revise
Write paper/Revise
Write paper/Revise
Revise/Works Cited/ Check
Documentation
PAPER IS DUE!!!
Powerpoint*/Portfolio
Powerpoint/Speech
Speeches, Powerpoint
***I will let you sign up
for a time (during
exam week) at least 1
week before! I cannot
let you sign up until I
receive the testing
schedule.
Date Due
When you present***
When you present--TBA
For some people, it is easier to write an outline and then write the thesis statement.
For others, it is easier to write the thesis statement and then the outline. EITHER
WAY, YOU MUST HAVE ENOUGH NOTES ABOUT YOUR TOPIC OR your teacher
CANNOT HELP YOU.
Items with an asterisk (*) must be approved before you can go on to the next stage of
the project. Ex: your notes must be approved before you can complete an outline or a
thesis statement. Your outline and thesis statement must be approved before you can
start writing the paper.
Items in bold will receive 10 points deducted per day late. Other items receive late
points deductions at your teacher’s discretion.
__________________________ 6
Guidelines for Recording Source Information
(This information is used in the middle of your SOURCE CARDS and is then used to create your Works Cited!)
Pay attention to all punctuation!
These pages will tell you how to document:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
Your Works Cited entries are not numbered!
a book with one author
I numbered them just to make it easier to
a book with more than one author
point
out certain source types to you!
anthology or compilation (an entire collection)
a work in an anthology (one work in a collection)
an article in a reference book (i.e. one particular essay or chapter)
an anonymous book
an illustrated book or a graphic narrative
a book by a corporate author
9. online book with print publication data (There is a real, physical copy of a book that someone
scanned and put on the Internet--which is where you found it.)
10. general website
11. full text magazine article retrieved from an online database
12. personal interview
13. published interview
14. movie
15. sound recording
16. online encyclopedia article
Anything else you need to know how to document…you’ll have to ask me.
BUT BEFORE YOU ASK A SINGLE QUESTION…LOOK AT
THE SAMPLE BELOW AND READ THE DIRECTIONS!!!
Website: See # 10 for how to format a website. You need to determine the following information IN
BOLD. The “answer” for the sample website that we’re using is in regular font.
Once you have determined the “answer” to each of the following questions, then you can use the format (in
# 10) to write the citation and use the correct punctuation.
Repeat with your own sources. And no, you do not actually type out the questions and answers.
Who is the author? What is his/her name? Julia Bodeeb
What is the title of the article? Effects of Teenage Pregnancy
What is the title of the web page (if it’s different than the title of the article)? Livestrong.com
Does the site list the specific version or edition used? It doesn’t. So skip it.
Is there a publisher or a sponsor of the site? Demand Media owns the copyright.
What is the date of publication? Date last updated will work. March 23, 2010
What type of source? Of course it’s a website, that’s what you looked for. Write Web.
What was the date you accessed the page? If you printed it out, it’s on your notes. If you
didn’t write the date, use today’s date. December 15, 2010
9. What is the URL web address? http://www.livestrong.com/article/86972-effects-teenagepregnancy/
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
SAMPLE SOURCE CARD/WORKS CITED ENTRY:
Bodeeb, Julia. “Effects of Teenage Pregnancy.” Livestrong.com. Demand Media. 23 Mar.
2010. Web. 15 Dec. 2010. <http://www.livestrong.com/article/86972-effects-teenagepregnancy/>.
__________________________ 7
Print Sources:
1. Book with One Author
Last name, first name. Title. City where published: Publishing company, Year published. Print.
O’Brien, Tim. The Things They Carried. New York: Broadway Books, 1990. Print.
2. Source With More than One Author
Last name, First name, and First name Last name. Title. City where published: Publishing company, Year
published. Print.
Last name, First name, First name Last name, and First name Last name. Title. Edition. City where
published: Publishing Company, Year published. Print.
Booth, Wayne C., Gregory G. Columb, and Joseph M. Williams. The Craft of Research. 2nd ed. Chicago: U
of Chicago P, 2003. Print.
3. Anthology or Compilation
Last name, first name, ed. Title. City where published: Publishing company, Year published. Print.
Benson, Elizabeth P., ed. The Olmec and their Neighbors. Washington:
Dumbarton Oaks Research Library and Collections, Trustees for Harvard University, 1981. Print.
Davis, Anita Price, comp. North Carolina During the Great Depression: A Documentary Portrait of a
Decade. Jefferson: McFarland, 2003. Print.
4. A Work in an Anthology
*If you are citing an essay, a short story, a poem, or another work that appears within an anthology or some
other book collection, you need to add the following information to your entry.
Last name, First name. “Title of Article/Poem/Etc.” Translator if applicable. Title of Anthology. Editor First
name Last name. City where published: Publishing Company, Year published. Page numbers used.
Print.
Allende, Isabel. “Toad’s Mouth.” Trans. Margaret Sayers Peden. A Hammock beneath the Mangoes:
Stories from Latin America. Ed. Thomas Colchie. New York: Plume, 1992. 83-88. Print.
__________________________ 8
5. An Article in a Reference Book
* If the article is signed, give the author’s name first (often articles in reference books are signed with
initials identified elsewhere in the work); if it is unsigned, give the title first.
* When citing widely used reference books, especially those that frequently appear in new editions, do not
give full publication information. For such works, give only the edition (if stated), the year of publication,
and the medium of publication consulted.
Last name, First name. “Title of Article.” Name of Reference Book. Editor. First name Last Name. Edition
#. City where published: Publishing Company, Year published. Print.
Allen, Anita L. “Privacy in Health Care.” Encyclopedia of Bioethics. Ed. Stephen G. Post. 3rd ed. Vol. 4.
New York: Macmillan-Thomson, 2004. Print.
IF NO AUTHOR IS LISTED:
“Title of Article” Name of Reference Book. Year ed. Print.
“Japan.” The Encyclopedia Americana. 2004 ed. Print.
Last Name, First Name. “Topic Title.” Encyclopedia Name. Year ed. Print.
Smith, Stewart. “Lung Cancer.” World Book Encyclopedia. 2009 ed. Print.
6. An Anonymous Book
*If a book has no author’s or editor’s name on the title page, begin the entry with the title. DO NOT USE
“ANONYMOUS” OR “ANON.” Alphabetize the entry by the title, ignoring any initial A, An, or The.
Follow the remaining format for a book with one author.
American Heritage Guide to Contemporary Usage and Style. Boston: Houghton, 2005. Print.
The Holy Bible. Wheaton: Crossway-Good News, 2003. Print. Eng. Standard Vers.
7. An Illustrated Book or a Graphic Narrative
*Illustrations serve a range of functions in nonperiodical print publications. For a volume in which illustrations
supplement the written text, such as an illustrated edition of a literary work, give the illustrator’s name, preceded by
the abbreviation Illus., after the title. If another contributor (e.g. an editor or a translator) is also cited after the title,
place the names in the order in which they appear on the title page.
Baum, L. Frank. The Wonderful Wizard of Oz. Introd. Regina Barreca. Illus. W. W. Denslow. New York:
Signet-Penguin, 2006. Print.
*If you refer mainly to the illustrator’s work instead of the author’s, begin the entry with the illustrator’s name,
followed by illus. and give the author’s name, preceded by the word By, after the title.
Denslow, W. W. ilus. The Wonderful Wizard of Oz. By L. Frank Baum. Introd. Regina Barreca. New York: SignetPenguin, 2006. Print.
__________________________ 9
Other options: Text and art by the same person or a collaboration between writers and artists.
Spiegelman, Art. Maus: A Survivor’s Tale. 2 vols. New York: Pantheon-Random, 1986-91. Print.
Pekar, Harvey, writer. The Quitter. Art by Dean Haspiel. Gray tones by Lee Loughridge. Letters by Pat
Brosseau. New York: Vertigo-DC Comics, 2005. Print.
8. Book by a Corporate Author
National Research Council. Beyond Six Billion: Forecasting the World’s Population. Washington: Natl.
Acad., 2000. Print.
WEB or NONPRINT PUBLICATIONS—any version of a web
source is potentially different from any past or future version and must be considered unique. You need
to record the date of access as well as publication data. You should also print your online sources as
soon as you know you want to use that particular source. MLA has now decided that you do not
necessarily need to include the URL since it can often change; however, for the purposes of this project
YOU NEED TO INCLUDE THE URL ADDRESS.
9. Online Book with Print Publication Data*
*does not need publication data if published before 1900.
Last name, First name. Title. City where published: Publishing Company, Year Published. Scanned for
access by. Web. Date accessed.
Child, L. Maria, ed. The Freedmen’s Book. Boston. 1866. Google Book Search. Web. 15 May 2008.
Cascardi, Anthony J. Ideologies of History in the Spanish Golden Age. University Park: Pennsylvania State
UP, 1997. Penn State Romance Studies. Web. 12 Mar. 2007.
10. General Website (If you accessed it through Google, the source is probably a general website.)
Last Name, First Name. “Title of Article.” Title of Web Page if distinct from Title of Article. Version or
edition used. Publisher or Sponsor of the site—if not available use N.p. Date of publication—if no
date is available, use n.d. Web. Date of Access. <URL Web address>.
Tyre, Peg. “Standardized Tests in College?” Newsweek. Newsweek, 16 November 2007. Web. 15 May
2008. <URL address goes here>.
Harris, Jonathan G. “The Return of the Witch Hunts.” Witchunt Information Page. N. p. Web. 28 May
2007.<http://liquid2-sun.mit.edu/fells.short.html>.
BUT WAIT! My website doesn’t have
an author listed! Start with the title.
(The rest of the directions are the same).
__________________________ 10
11. Full Text Magazine Article Retrieved from an Online Database
• It no longer matters if you retrieved the magazine article through a database or through Google. The
documentation is now the same.
Green, Joshua. “The Rove Presidency.” The Atlantic.com. Atlantic Monthly Group, Sept. 2007. Web. 15
May 2008. <URL goes here>.
Lessig, Lawrence. “Free Debates: More Republicans Call on RNC.” Lessig 2.0. N. p., 4 May 2007. Web.
15 May 2008. <URL goes here>.
12. Personal Interview
Last name, First Name. Type of interview. Date.
Stuphin, Andrea. Email interview. 17 Apr. 2002.
Smith, John. Personal interview. 21 Nov. 2009.
Rackett, Amy. Telephone interview. 14 Jan. 2010.
13. Published Interview
Last name, First name of person being interviewed. “Title of Interview.” Title of DVD it appeared on.
Director First name Last name. Company, Year released. Format.
Blanchett, Cate. “In Character with: Cate Blanchett.” Notes on a Scandal. Dir. Richard Eyre. Fox
Searchlight, 2006. DVD.
Last name, First name of person being interviewed. Interviewed by First name Last name. On what TV
program. TV station. Affiliate, City where interview conducted. Date of appearance. Format.
Wiesel, Elie. Interview by Ted Koppel. Nightline. ABC. WABC, New York. 18 Apr. 2002. Television.
14. Movie
Movie Title. Dir. First Name Last Name. Distribution Company, Year. Format.
The Pianist. Dir. Roman Polanski. Universal, 2003. Film.
*You may also include any other information you feel important—like the performers (actors).
It’s a Wonderful Life. Dir. Frank Capra. Perf. James Stewart, Donna Reed, Lionel Barrymore, and Thomas
Mitchell. RKO, 1946. Film.
__________________________ 11
15. Sound Recording
Singer’s Last name, First name. Title of Record
Record. Record Label, Year published. Format.
Holiday, Billie. The Essence of Billie
lie Holiday
Holiday. Columbia, 1991. CD.
Composer/Conductor/Performer’s Last name, First name. That person’s title. Title of Recording.
Artist/artist when distinct from the first
first-listed
listed performer. Date Recorded if applicable.
Manufacturer, Year manufactured. Format.
Ellington, Duke, cond. First Carnegie Hall Concert
Concert.. Duke Ellington Orch. Rec. 23 Jan. 1943. Prestige,
1977. LP.
16. Online Encyclopedia Article
Last name, First name of entry. “Topic Title.” Encyclopedia Name.. Publishing Company, Year published.
Web. Date accessed.
“de Kooning, Willem.” Encyclopedia Brittanica Online. Encyclopaedia Brittanica, 2008. Web. 15 May
2008.
*****For anything else, you’ll have to come borrow my MLA book!******
But wait! I am having trouble finding enough sources (and enough variety of types
of sources!)
Look for a book source in the library
library—in
in the Internet
In
folder, click
on “OPAC” and search. You must write
rite down the call number of the book before
I’ll sign your p
pass.
Do you know an adult you could interview about your topic?
Have you searched the library’s online databases? The directions are below:
HOW TO USE ONLINE DATABASES! In other words, how to find your magazine article(s).
(You do
. not have to actually look in magazines until you find an article about your topic!)
1.
2.
3.
Go to the Ashley High School Web Page: http://www.nhcs.k12.nc.us/ashley/
Click on the “Media Center” link. Then click on “Teachers” and then “ NC Wiseowl Professional Zone.”
You will be able to choose from: Infotrac Gold—search full text—magazines,
magazines, academic journals, books,
news, multi-media, Jr. Reference
Reference, EBSCO host—search database, Brittanica K-12 high school,
school and/or
Newspaper.
4.
Use your brain: certain databases are better for certain topics. If you have trouble, ask your teacher. Make
sure you are searching for full--text articles.
Skim through some articles, and then refine your search if needed.
5.
__________________________ 12
How to find….
Important:
Just because it’s on the
internet…
A. doesn’t mean it’s true
B. doesn’t mean it’s well-written
SAY IT AGAIN!
Just because it’s on the internet…
Anybody can put up a web page! ANYBODY! Think about that one …
******************************************************************
You are going to have to SIFT through huge (figuratively speaking) stacks of information….How do you
determine what is quality and what is not?
To evaluate online sources:
Ask yourself:
1. What kind of information are you looking for?
Facts?
Opinion?
News reports?
Research studies?
Analyses?
Personal reflections
History?
2. Where should you look? What would be the most likely place? Which sources are likely to be most useful to
you? Libraries? The Internet? Academic periodicals? Newspapers? Government records?
Use your common sense. OWL says:
If, for example, you’re searching for information on some current event, a reliable newspaper like the
NY Times will be a useful source. Are you searching for statistics on some aspect of the U.S.
population? Then, start with documents such as United States census reports. Do you want some
scholarly interpretations of literature? If so, academic periodicals and books are likely to have what
you’re looking for. Want to know about commercial products? Will those companies have Web sites
with information? Are you searching for local history? Then a county library, government office, or
local newspaper archive is likely to be the most useful.
Source: http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/print/research/r_evalsource.html
ALSO: Internet sources can be very useful, but they should not be your only source of information because
there are also books, journals, government publications, brochures, newspapers, etc. to read, and knowledgeable
people to interview.
DO NOT USE ONLY INTERNET SOURCES. DO NOT USE WIKIPEDIA.
Things to Consider:
Is there an author or organization clearly indicated? If there’s an
author, go back to the questions listed above about authors and ask
yourself how reputable this person is. Can the author be contacted?
(Can a popular search engine verify the source?)
__________________________ 13
What can you find out about the author?
If there is no information on the site, use a search engine or search Usenet. You may find the author’s homepage or
other documents which mention this person. Or look up the person on the Internet Directory of Published Writers
(http://www.writers.net).
net). If the person is associated with a university, look at the university Web site.
If there is an organization sponsoring the page, what can you
learn about the organization and who they are?
(You can search the site by following links to its home page or
going back to a previous level on the site by eliminating the
last part of the address, after a "/" mark or a period. Another way to find the organization is to go to the View menu at the top of
your Web browser and open the Document Information wi
window
ndow where the owner of the document is listed.)
Does the organization take responsibility for what’s on the site? Does it monitor or review what’s on
the site?
Look at the address for the site. Does it end in .edu, indicating that it’s an educational institution? If it has
.gov, it should be fairly objective government
government-sponsored
sponsored material. Addresses with .org are usually nonnon
profit organizations that are advocacy groups. (The Sierra Club is an example of an advocacy group. Their
postings will conform to their goals of environmental preservation. Information posted by advocacy groups
may be accurate but not entirely objective.)
If the site has a .com address, it’s most likely promoting or selling something.
Is there documentation to indicatee the source of the information?
There may be a link to the original source of the information.
information
Can you tell how well researched the information is?
Are criteria for including information offered?
Is there a bibliography or links to other useful sites? Has the author considered information on those sites or
considered viewpoints represented there?
Is the information current? When was it updated? (You can check at the bottom for a "last revised" date and/or
notice if there are numerous dead links on the site.)
Is there any indication of bias on the site?
Does the site have any credentials such as being rated by a reputable rating group? If you see a
high rating, is that because of the soundness of the content or the quality of the design? (An
(
attractive
active page is not a reason for accepting its information as reliable.)
What is the purpose of the site? To provide information? Advertise? Persuade?
Are the goals of the site clearly indicated? Who is the intended audience? Is there a lot of flash and color and
gimmicks to attract attention? Is that masking a lack of sound information or a blatant attempt to get you to do or
buy something?
Access--How
How did you find the site? Were there links from reputable sites? From ads? If you
found the site through a search engine, that means only that the site has the words in the topic you
are researching prominently placed or used with great frequency. If you found the site by
browsing through a subject directory, that may mean only that som
someone
eone at that site registered it
with that directory.
Source: http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/print/research/r_evalsource4.html
__________________________ 14
Is your Internet source…
Use the following checklist to verify the reliability of your
first internet source. Use it for any others that you feel might
be “sketchy!” Elaborate in the blanks after each question!
Content & Evaluation
Who is the audience? ____________________________________________________
What is the purpose of the web page & what does it contain?
______________________________________________________________________
How complete and accurate are the information and the links provided?
______________________________________________________________________
What is the relative value of the web site in comparison to the range of information resources available on
this topic? (Note: Be sure to check with a librarian.)
______________________________________________________________________
What other resources (print & non-print) are available in this area?
______________________________________________________________________
What are the date(s) of coverage of the site and site-specific documents?
______________________________________________________________________
How comprehensive is this site? __________________________________________________
What are the link selection criteria if any?
Are the links relevant and appropriate for the site?
Is the site inward-focused, pointing outward, or both?
Is there an appropriate balance between inward-pointing links ("inlinks" i.e., within the same site) & outward-pointing
links ("outlinks" i.e., to other sites)?
Are the links comprehensive or do they just provide a sampler?
What do the links offer that is not easily available in other sources?
Are the links evaluated in any way?
Is there an appropriate range of Internet resources -- e.g., links to gophers?
Is multimedia appropriately incorporated?____________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
How valuable is the information provided in the Web Page (intrinsic value)?
Source & Date
Who is the author or producer? _____________________________________________
What is the authority or expertise of the individual or group that created this site?
________________________________________________________________________
How knowledgeable is the individual or group on the subject matter of the site?
________________________________________________________________________
Is the site sponsored or co-sponsored by an individual or group that has created other Web sites?
________________________________________________________________________
Is any sort of bias evident? __________________________________________________
When was the web item produced?
When was the web item mounted?
When was the web item last revised?
How up -to -date are the links?
How reliable are the links; are there blind links, or references to sites which have moved?
Is contact information for the author or producer included in the document?
________________________________________________
Structure
Does the document follow good graphic design principles? _____________________
Do the graphics and art serve a function or are they decorative? _________________
Do the icons clearly represent what is intended? _____________________________
__________________________ 15
Does the text follow basic rules of grammar, spelling and literary composition?
________________________________________________________________________
Is there an element of creativity, and does it add to or detract from the document itself?
_______________________________________________________________
Are links provided to web "subject trees" or directories -- lists of subject-arranged web sources?
How usable is the site? Can visitors get the information they need within a reasonable number of
links (preferably 3 or fewer clicks)?
______________________________________________________________
Other
Is appropriate interactivity available?
When it is necessary to send confidential information out over the Internet, is encryption (i.e., a secure coding system) available?
How secure is it?
Are there links to search engines or is a search engine attached to (embedded in) the Web site?
SOURCE: Esther Grassian, UCLA College Library 6/95.http://www.library.ucla.edu/libraries/college/help/critical/
See page 52 for some questionable websites in a works cited page.
What should the student have noticed about some of his/her sources?
Assignment: The websites used previously in this packet were not cited correctly. How would you cite
them in proper MLA format? Fix them—in the margins.
Now that you’ve determined whether your sources are reliable or not…
you are ready to start taking notes (and notecards.)
BUT WAIT! Before you take any notes…you must
“keep track” of your sources on source cards.
What are source cards?
They’re where you write down your source
information, of course!
How To Do…
Source #
Fill out information CLOCKWISE!
1. Source #--if it’s the first
source you come across, then
it’s source #1…and so on.
2. MEDIA TYPE—is it
a book source? Internet source?
Personal interview? Magazine?
SOURCE INFO
(from “Guidelines” Sheet, pp 6-11.)
Location
Call #
Media Type
3. CALL #--is the identification number found on the spine of the book. (For books only.)
4. LOCATION—Where did you find the source? At the AHS library? At your house? (IF it’s an internet
source, just leave it blank.)
5. SOURCE INFO—is the bibliographical information. Refer to your “Guidelines” sheet on pages 611 for how to do this!!!!)
__________________________ 16
Sample Source Card
#2
Eaves, Morris, Robert Essick, and Joseph
Viscomi, eds. The William Blake
Archive. Lib. Of Cong., 28 Sept. 2007.
Web. 20 Nov. 2007.
<http://www.blakearchive.org/blake/>.
Internet
*Your handwriting can’t italicize. Just underline on the card and italicize on
the computer.
How To Do….
You must have at least 30 notecards. Your teacher could require
you to have more.
The rest of your notes (and probably the majority of them) will be highlighted printouts!!!!
Slug
1. Slug—your topic heading. If you’re
not sure what it is yet, leave it blank.
Chances are, your slug will be something
like “causes” or “effects,” etc.
Source #
Note
2. Source #--is the source the
note came from--it is almost like a code
that “matches up.” If the information came
from source # 5, it should have a #5 in the
corner.
Page #
3. The note itself—the information, in the form of paraphrase, summary, or direct quotation.
(Always put notes in your own words unless you are using a direct quote!)
4. Page #--the page # where you found the information. If it’s a book source, it’s easy. If it’s an internet
source, look at the top right hand corner of your printouts. It should say “page 3 of 5” or whatever. In that
case, don’t write “page 3 of 5,” just write p. 3.
Sample Note Cards: *not to scale
→→Direct Quotation
↓ Paraphrase
Background Information
Effects
“There is no doubt whatsoever that repetitive training
activities of children engaged in organized sports have
resulted in a whole new genre of injuries that rarely
occurred in free play,” said Micheli.
p. 2
4
Kids are especially susceptible to overuse injuries
because they are still growing.
p. 14
4
__________________________ 17
How To Do A…
Your street address
Your city, state and zip code
Today’s date
555 Halyburton Memorial Parkway
Wilmington, NC 28412
Dear Mrs. Bridgers:
The first paragraph of your paper should tell me a little bit about you. Start with “My name is XXXXX”
and then go on to tell me a little bit about yourself, perhaps three or four sentences. Anything about you
will be fine.
The second paragraph explains what topic you want to research, WHY you chose it, and WHAT you want
to know about your topic. “For my English II research paper I would like to explore…” Then “I chose this
topic because…” Then “I would like to find out…” Be sure to tell me what TYPE of paper you are going to
write. (Ex: I am going to write a cause and effect paper on global warming.)
The third paragraph should explain what you know about your topic already (including any previous
reading and research), and where you think you can find information on this topic. If you have an idea for a
person you can interview who knows a lot about your topic, include that here as well.
The fourth paragraph thanks me for my time in reading your letter, and includes a statement that you intend
to do all work for the paper yourself and that you will avoid plagiarism.
Sincerely,
Sign Your Name Here (Leave four single spaces to do this!)
Type your name here
(Your letter should be approximately ¾ to 1 page, typed.) And yes, it does have to be typed.
New Microsoft Word’s default font is not Times New Roman font.
You must change it to Times New Roman yourself.
You might also have to change the margin size to 1” all around. If
you do not know how to do this, please see p. 43!
Your letter of intent must be approved before you can start on your
paper (or any other parts of the project). If you decide to change
your topic, you must write a new letter of intent indicating your
topic change, and your new letter of intent must be approved.
__________________________ 18
225 Cathay Drive
Wilmington, NC 28412
March 31, 2005
Sample GOOD
Letter of Intent
555 Halyburton Memorial Parkway
Wilmington, NC 28412
(Your letter of intent should look
almost exactly like this one,
except for (obviously) this text
box …
Dear Ms. Bridgers:
My name is Katherine Jones and I am a sophomore at Eugene Ashley High School. I love to
read, write poetry, and go to the beach. I have been running a lot recently and am hoping to run
cross-country next year.
For my English II research project, I would like to investigate the problems associated with
beginning a new exercise regimen, especially since I have just started exercising on a regular
basis. I also think this would be a very relevant topic, considering that there is such an obesity
epidemic in America right now, and since doctors are encouraging everyone to exercise more. I
think it would be important to find out how not to get hurt when starting a new exercise program
or just completing further training. I think it would also be helpful to research the possible
solutions for dealing with injuries caused by exercise.
I already know that it is not a good idea to push yourself too far if you have just started
exercising, because it is much easier to pull a muscle, etc. I also know that it is much better to be
consistent when starting a new routine. However, I know that I can learn much more from the
Internet and from interviewing Coach Gale and some of my friends who are on the track team. I
should be able to find some information from the books in the library, but I think that most of my
information will come from personal interviews and the Internet.
Thank you for your time in reading this letter. I look forward to learning about the problems and
solutions associated with starting a new exercise plan. I understand that I must do all work for
the paper myself and I promise not to plagiarize or cheat in any way.
Sincerely,
Katherine Jones
__________________________ 19
Letter of Intent Reminders:
1. DO NOT write “letter of intent” at the top. I know what it is!
2. Block Format—NOTHING, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, should be
indented!!!!
3. PROOFREAD!!! You do not receive credit until it’s perfect. The average letter
has more than 10 grammatical mistakes. Yes, you should capitalize the first letter
of your first name, last name, and your street address—the actual name AND
street/road/circle, etc.
4. The four spaces under “Sincerely” are for you to sign your name! So do it!
5. Single-space the letter, double in between paragraphs—just like you see it here.
6. Be sure you use 12 point Times New Roman font.
7. Do not put a comma after my name. It should be a colon!
YOUR LETTER OF INTENT MUST BE APPROVED BEFORE YOU CAN START WORKING
ON YOUR PROJECT!!!! YOUR LETTER MUST BE PERFECT BEFORE YOU RECEIVE A
GRADE!!!!
Now it’s…
LETTER OF INTENT
TIME!
Step 1:
Print out your letter of intent.
Step 2:
Take the “Letter of Intent Yes Test” out of this packet (page 20 ). Staple it to the front of your letter.
Step 3:
Switch your paper with someone else.
Step 4:
Read the letter once. Complete the yes test. Then read it again. Make any additional comments on the yes test or the letter itself.
Make as many comments as possible!
Step 5:
Switch back!
Step 6:
FIX ANY ERRORS THAT YOU NEED TO FIX AND RESUBMIT TO ME!
__________________________ 20
Letter of Intent Yes Test
Trait
Is the letter in BLOCK
FORMAT? (Nothing is
indented!)
Yes
No
Does the SPACING in
between paragraphs on
the letter match the
sample one?
Did the author sign
his/her name in the four
spaces?
Is the address information
correct and formatted
correctly?
Are there any
GRAMMATICAL
ERRORS?
Is the FONT
STYLE/SIZE
appropriate?
Does each paragraph
contain the information
it’s supposed to contain?
(see page 17)
How To Do…
A THESIS STATEMENT IS A SINGLE SENTENCE THAT FORMULATES BOTH YOUR TOPIC
AND YOUR POINT OF VIEW.
IN A SENSE, YOUR THESIS STATEMENT IS YOUR ANSWER TO THE CENTRAL QUESTION OR
PROBLEM YOU HAVE RAISED. WRITING THIS STATEMENT WILL ENABLE YOU TO SEE
WHERE YOU ARE HEADING AND TO REMAIN ON A PRODUCTIVE PATH AS YOU PLAN AND
WRITE.
TRY OUT DIFFERENT POSSIBILITIES UNTIL YOU FIND A STATEMENT THAT SEEMS
RIGHT FOR YOUR PURPOSE. MOREOVER, SINCE THE EXPERIENCE OF WRITING MAY
WELL ALTER YOUR ORIGINAL PLANS, DO NOT HESITATE TO REVISE THE THESIS
STATEMENT AS YOU WRITE THE PAPER. (Source: MLA Handbook)
__________________________ 21
In other words, a thesis is the one sentence in your paper that everything “comes back to.” Your
thesis is what you are proving—not a title, topic, or fact. If your thesis is not debatable…it is not a
thesis.
A THESIS IS NOT A TITLE. A title can often give a reader some notion of what the thesis is going to
be, but it is not the thesis itself. The thesis, as presented in the thesis statement, does not suggest the main
idea—it is the main idea. Remember, too, that a thesis statement will always be a complete sentence;
there’s no other way to make a statement other than to express it in a complete thought.
Pay especially close attention to the following examples:
Title, Not a Thesis
Thesis
The Decline of Baseball
In recent years, baseball has experienced a significant
decline in popularity due to rising ticket prices and
scandals involving popular athletes.
Homes and School
Parents need to participate more in the education of
their children by maintaining frequent contact with
their child’s teachers and by checking their child’s
homework.
A Frightening Experience
A frightening experience can often emotionally scar an
individual so badly that he/she avoids all similar
situations.
The Fad of Divorce
Too many people get divorced
for trivial reasons. (You could list the reasons, or not.)
A thesis is not an announcement of the subject. A thesis takes a stand on the subject. It expresses an
attitude toward the subject. It is not the subject itself.
Announcement, Not a Thesis
Thesis
My subject is the incompetence of Professor X.
Professor X is an incompetent teacher.
(You could also list the reasons why: Professor
X is an incompetent teacher because he does
not know his subject matter, often arrives late,
and shows little concern for his students.)
I want to share some thoughts with you
about our space program.
The thesis of this paper is the difficulty of
solving our environmental problems.
The US space program is a
waste of money. (You could then list why.)
Solving North Carolina’s environmental problems
is much more difficult than many environmentalists
believe.
A thesis statement:
Is only one sentence! (And should be the last sentence of your introduction.) AND is not a question!
Controls the whole essay!
Clearly states the writer’s attitude toward the subject about which he/she is writing!
__________________________ 22
YOU MIGHT THINK YOU UNDERSTAND THESIS STATEMENTS NOW. YOU
PROBABLY STILL DON’T. HERE’S SOME MORE:
1. State your thesis in a sentence that effectively expresses what you want to explore
in your essay.
2. Write as many versions as it takes to come up with a sentence that sets the right
tone and direction for your writing.
3. Use the following formula to write a thesis statement.
FORMULA
A specific subject
+ a specific condition, feeling, or stand
= an effective thesis statement.
Thesis Statement: Young children exposed to low levels of lead (specific subject)
may face health problems later in life. (specific condition)
SAMPLE THESIS STATEMENTS
Writing Assignment: Essay about opportunities in education Specific Subject: High school internships
Thesis Statement: High school internship programs (specific subject) benefit students in three ways (specific features).
Writing Assignment: Essay on the Civil War Specific Subject: General George McClellan
Thesis Statement: General George McClellan's overcautious tactics (specific subject) prolonged the war (specific
feeling).
Writing Assignment: Essay about an outdoor activity Specific Subject: Use of barbed hooks for fishing
Thesis Statement: Barbed hooks (specific subject) should be banned from fishing (specific stand).
Writing Assignment: Research paper about human growth and development
Specific Subject: Personality traits
Thesis Statement: Certain personality traits (subject) are shaped primarily by a person's peer group (specific stand).
Writing Assignment: Extended analysis of a novel Specific Subject: Frankenstein by Mary Shelley
Thesis Statement: Mary Shelley's novel Frankenstein (subject) focuses on the theme of friendship (specific feature).
Try to write a thesis statement for each of the following TOPICS that are commonly selected as
sophomore project topics:
Football
The Obesity Epidemic
Teen Pregnancy
World War II
Skateboarding
Basketball
Music
__________________________ 23
Now, based on the research that you’ve done so far…(and you have to have done some research first…) try
a few thesis statements ABOUT YOUR TOPIC below.
Thesis Attempt 1:
Thesis Attempt 2:
Thesis Attempt 3:
Thesis Checklist
Make sure that your thesis statement:
__ identifies a limited, specific subject
__ focuses on a particular feature or feeling about the subject
__ is stated in a clear, direct sentence (and is NOT a question)
__ can be supported with convincing facts and details
__ meets the requirements of the assignment
********************************************************************************
Now that you have your thesis statement…you can think about how to write a paper using it. Yes,
you have to USE it! Think about the following major points before you can do your outline.
The paragraphs in the middle part of an essay contain the main points and supporting details that develop your thesis. In
most cases, you should develop each main point in a separate paragraph. Remember that specific details add meaning to
your writing and make it worth reading. Writing that lacks effective detail gives an incomplete picture.
A well-written supporting paragraph often contains three levels of detail:
Level 1: Controlling sentences name the topic:
Some states have adopted graduated licensing programs to produce better drivers.
Level 2: Clarifying sentences support the main point:
Such programs require that beginning drivers receive three different types of licenses.
Level 3: Completing sentences add details to complete the point:
First, they must obtain a learner's permit, then, after six months, a Junior Operator's License ....
Organizing Your Details
.,;.,
•. '"
·.c
_
With a clear thesis in mind, you may need to design a writing plan before you start your first draft. (Your plan can be
anything from a brief list of ideas to a detailed sentence outline.) Use the guidelines that follow to help organize your details
for writing.
1. Study your thesis statement. It may suggest a logical method of organization.
2. Review the details that support your thesis. See if an overall plan of organization begins to emerge.
3.Consider the methods of organization listed on the next page:
__________________________ 24
Listed below are some useful ways to organize details in your writing.
WATCH FOR THE ONES IN LARGER FONT!!!
1.
Chronological order (time) is effective for sharing personal narratives, summarizing steps, and explaining
events. (Can be used as a part of many types of writing.)
2.
Order of location (spatial) is useful for many types of descriptions.
Details can be described from left to right, from right to left, from top to bottom, from edge to center, and so
on.
3.
Illustration (deductive) is a method of arrangement in which you first state a general idea (thesis statement) and
follow with specific reasons, examples, and facts. (Very helpful in persuasive writing.)
4.
Climax (inductive) is a method of arrangement in which you present specific details followed by a general
statement or a conclusion. (Also helpful in persuasive writing.)
5. Compare/contrast is a method of arrangement in which you compare one
subject to another subject. In the process of your writing, you show how the
subjects are alike and how they are different. (Block or Point by Point
arrangement—if you need more specific notes, please ask.)
6. Cause/effect is a type of arrangement that helps you make connections between
a result and the events that came before it. Usually, you begin with a general
statement giving the cause of something, and then you discuss a number of
specific effects. (You will probably need to categorize them by short-term vs.
long-term effects, or positive vs. negative effects, or a combination of those—if
you need more specific notes, please ask.)
7. Problem/solution is a type of arrangement in which you state a problem and
explore possible solutions, in that order. (You would probably save the best
solution for last. Be sure your solutions and logical and do-able; if you need
more specific notes, please ask.)
8.
Definition or classification is a type of arrangement that can be used to explain a term or a concept (a machine,
a theory, a game, and so on). Begin by placing the subject in the appropriate class, and then provide details
that show how your subject is different from and similar to others in the same class. (Depending on your
topic, you might need to do this first—especially with unfamiliar terms.)
__________________________ 25
How To Do…
An outline is essentially the “layout” of your paper. It organizes your paper and will help you (and
your reader) get an overall view of your paper, and perhaps more important, to figure out how each
section relates to the others. Developing an outline will help you see the logical progression of your
argument.
Note: OUTLINES ORGANIZE AND SPLIT INFORMATION. YOU CANNOT SPLIT
INFORMATION INTO 1 PART. That means that you CANNOT have an A without a B or a 1
without a 2!
Outline Notes:
I.
Roman Numeral
A. Capital Letter
2.
YES, I AM GOING TO SAY IT
AGAIN!
For every I, you must have a II.
For every A, you must have a B. For
every 1, you must have a 2.
1.
No, you are not looking for Roman
numerals on the keyboard!
1. Number
B.
2.
II.
I. is a capital I. II. Is two capital I’s.
IV is an I and a V.
Watch the tabs (indents)!!!
A.
Use Times New Roman, 10 or 12 font.
B.
1.
2.
Your outline should be doublespaced. (These are not; I’m trying to
save space.)
and so on…and so on…
Sample Outlines—
compare & contrast, cause & effect, problem/solution:
(If you need a sample argumentative/persuasive outline, you are not a
strong enough writer to attempt that kind of paper yet.)
__________________________ 26
I.
II.
III.
IV.
V.
I.
II.
III.
IV.
V.
Introduction
A. Attention Grabber
B. Thesis Statement—Although Ford and GM trucks are similar, GM makes the superior truck.
Ford Trucks
Sample Compare and Contrast (Block
A. Basic Structure-body, frame, HP
Format) Outline
B. Style, specific model
Notice that the writer is going to talk about
C. Interior and Special Features
Ford trucks first, then GM, then their
D. Price
similarities, then their differences, and then
GM
he will tell us which one is better (GM,
A. Basic Structure-body, frame, HP
according to this paper) and WHY.
B. Style, specific model
When you are comparing and contrasting
C. Interior and Special Features
you
must compare the same things—in this
D. Price
case, structure, style, special features, &
Similarities
price!
A. They are both trucks
B. Both companies make crew, ex., and reg. cab
Differences
A. Both trucks are not the same price
B. One truck is better than the other—GM—because of features, options, value
**********************************************************************
Introduction
A. Attention-Grabber
B. Thesis: There are many similarities and differences between the two biggest rivals in ACC
basketball—UNC & Duke.
Players that made it to the NBA
A. UNC: 73 players that played for UNC made it to the NBA
B. Duke: 51 players that played for duke made it to the NBA
C. UNC: Michael Jordan and Bob McAdoo
D. Duke: Grant Hill and Jack Marin
Game History
A. UNC has never gone a season and lost more games than they won science day one.
B. Duke has gone a season and lost more games than they won
C. UNC has won 5 national Championships
Sample Compare & Contrast
D. Duke has won 4 national Championships
Outline:
This is a point by point comparison—
E. UNC has 17 ACC Championships
The writer is going to talk about
F. Duke has 18 ACC Championships
players that went on to the NBA from
Offensive Strategy
UNC & then Duke, then the game
A. UNC has a very spread apart offense
history for each (including national
B. Duke runs a motion offense
championship titles, offense, etc.)
C. Duke runs a 3 out 2 in motion offense
Q: What would have made this
D. Duke has great and smart forwards and guards
outline better? A: Arguing that one is
E. Duke’s can be used against zone and D
better than the other!
F. UNC’s main play is called shuffle and it is 3 in and 2 out
G. Another offensive play is called split
Conclusion
__________________________ 27
I.
Introduction
A. Hook: Marine Corps Recon. The very name stirs up images of great battles and fearless
men.
B. Show some examples of Special Forces
C. Briefly explain the three units: Rangers, SEALS, and Recon
D. Thesis: There are many similarities and differences between the various elite special
forces; however, Marine Recon is truly “the best of the best.”
II.
Rangers
A. Explains what they do, how they do it, what they use, and what their methods are.
B. Go into detail about the methods of equipment
III.
SEALS
A. Explain what they do, how they do it, what they use, and what their methods are.
B. Go into details about the methods and equipment
IV.
Recon
A. Explains what they do, how they do it, what they use, what their methods are.
B. Go into details about the methods and equipment
V.
Compare Rangers, Seals, and Recon
A. Recon and Rangers
1. Tactics, strategies, and equipment
2. Missions, history, and engagements
3. Cost-Effectiveness Ratio
B. Recon and SEALs
1. Tactics, strategies, and equipment
2. Missions, history, and engagements
3. Cost-Effectiveness Ratio
Sample BLOCK format Compare
and Contrast Outline
The author is going to give you some
background information on
RANGERS, SEALS, AND RECON,
and write about each one specifically,
and then tell you how each is similar,
and how RECON is the best of the
three.
•
Remember, your outlines should
be typed in Times New Roman 10
or 12 font and double-spaced.
VI.
Why Recon is better
A. Importance
B. Cost-Effectiveness
C. Prestige
VII.
Conclusion
***********************************************************************************
Introduction
A. Hook: The explosion of a nuclear warhead is the most destructive man made force on Earth
B. Thesis: Nuclear warheads are weapons of mass destruction and have many devastating effects.
I.
II.
Background Information
A. First bomb
__________________________ 28
B. Design
C. Types of bombs
D. Effects of bombs
Sample Cause and Effect Outline:
Notice the writer discusses some background
III.
Causes
information about nuclear bombs (since most people
are not that familiar with the topic) and then tells you
A. Disputes between countries
the causes (reasons why countries turn to nuclear
1. Israel and Iran
weapons) and the effects (consequences/results of
2. North Korea and the United States
using nuclear weapons.)
B. Countries on a power trip
1. Japan attacking Pearl Harbor in WWII
2. Germany trying to take over the world in WWII
C. Terrorists attacks
1. 9/11/01 World Trade Center and Pentagon attacks
2. 1998 U.S. Embassy Bombings
IV.
Effects
A. Mass destruction
1. Effects could cover up to 800 sq miles
2. Possible winds of 500mph
3. Thermal radiation is thousands of degrees
4. It takes years for radiation levels to die down to safe amount in effected areas
B. Long term effects
1. People exposed to radiation can experience physical abnormalities
2. The children of people who were exposed could have been birth defects
3. Psychological effects of war
V.
Conclusion
A. Summarize paper
B. Quote by Hans A. Bethe
C. Restate Thesis
***************************************************************************
Introduction
A. Hook: 543,000 babies, or 1 in 8, are born prematurely each year
B. Thesis: There are many causes and effects of premature birth; fortunately there are also
many ways to prevent it.
Sample Cause and Effect Outline
Causes
Notice
that this outline addresses the
A. Late or no prenatal care
causes first, then lists all effects, then
B. Smoking, Alcohol consumption, Drug abuse
lists ways to prevent those effects.
C. Domestic Violence
Notice that not all the information can
1. Sexual
be “split”—Diabetes is its own
2. Physical
category (H4) but (Mother’s) Age (I) is
split into 2 subgroups—younger than
3. Emotional
17 and older than 35.
D. High levels of stress
E. Lack of social support
F. Long work hours with long periods of standing
I.
II.
__________________________ 29
III.
IV.
V.
G. Exposure to certain environmental pollutants
H. Medical conditions
1. Infections
2. High blood pressure
3. Preeclampsia
4. Diabetes
5. Clotting disorders
6. Obesity
I. Demographic factors
1. Age
A. Younger than 17
B. Older than 35
2. Low socioeconomic status
J. Three groups of women are more at risk
1. Women who have had previous premature babies
2. Women who are pregnant with twins, triplets, or more
3. Women with certain uterine or cervical abnormalities
Effects
A. Respiratory
Remember, your outline should be
B. Infection
typed in Times New Roman 10 or 12
C. Anemia
font and double-spaced. Also, notice
that each outline is a different length.
D. Apnea
The length of your outline is
E. Retinopathy of prematurity
determined by your topic and how
F. Learning disabilities
specific you need (or think you need)
G. Autism
to be.
H. Lung problems
I. Hearing loss
FYI—The more specific your outline,
J. Bleeding in the brain
the easier it will be to write your paper.
K. Difficulties
Ways to prevent premature birth
A. Visiting a health care provider before and during pregnancy
B. Early and regular prenatal care
C. Preconception visit
D. Take multivitamin containing folic acid
E. Take folic acid year before pregnancy
F. Avoid harmful intake during pregnancy
1. Alcohol
2. Smoking
3. Illicit drugs
G. Try to reach healthy weight pregnancy
H. Gain the recommended amount of weight
1. 25-30 pounds for women who begin pregnancy at a normal weight
2. 15-25 pounds for women who begin pregnancy overweight
3. 28-40 pounds for women who begin pregnancy underweight
Conclusion
__________________________ 30
A. A lot of people don’t know the things they do can harm their baby when they are
pregnant.
B. There are both physical and mental factors that can increase someone’s chance of
having a premature baby
C. People should become more educated before deciding to have a baby so they can
reduce the risk of having a premature baby.
****************************************************************************
I.
Introduction
A. Has someone ever used you before or made you do something that you knew was wrong?
B. Some people believe that sports agents and their runners are the bane of college athletics because they pay
players, their families, and people who influence the players to sign with them and it’s illegal.
C. Thesis: Today sports agents are gambling with college athletes by bribing them with money, cars, jewelry, etc.
II.
Defining the Problem
A. Agents don’t care about the NCAA rules.
B. The player’s education doesn’t matter to them.
C. Agents operate outside the law.
D. Agents give bad advice when it comes to leaving school.
E. Agents don’t care if the players lose the eligibility.
F. Agents will do anything to sign the “big-time” college athletes.
Sample Problem/Solution Paper:
The author defines the problem: (agents
doing unethical or illegal things to bribe
players) and explains possible solutions.
Notice that the solutions are split into what
players can do and what agents can do.
III.
Solutions
A. Players shouldn’t give their emails, phone numbers, or addresses to agents.
B. Players should consider talking to agents when they are seniors or when they leave college early just to be
safe.
C. The NCAA should only allow agents to associate with players if they sign a contract saying that if they get
caught gambling with players they will be fined.
D. Until the NCAA changes the rules they should continue to be aggressive with the high profile players by
monitoring them like never before.
IV.
Conclusion
A. The NCAA needs to realize this is a problem and it needs to be solved.
B. College athletes shouldn’t jeopardize their college experience by consulting with agents who doesn’t care
about their fortune.
C. Athletes should just play their sport until they decide to take their talents to the next level.
D. Then that’s when they should start to persuade the players to sign, not their freshman year in college.
Outline Reminders:
1. Roman numeral I. should always be your introduction!
2. Always write out your hook and your thesis! It is up to you whether you write out your “bridge”
(or transition) between the two.
3. If you don’t know what’s in your conclusion yet, just leave blank space under the word
“Conclusion.”
4. Be sure to double-space your entire outline!
5. Watch the tabs! They should look just like the notes above.
6. Your outline should follow a logical order—introduction, then causes, then effects, then
conclusion… or introduction, then problems, then solutions, etc.
7. If you have an A, you must have a B, etc.
__________________________ 31
Assignment:
Before you try to write your own outline, fix the errors in the outline below:
1. Racism in America Today
a. Statistics
b. Thesis
2. Problem
A. Statistics
B. Definition of Racism
C. Modern Problems
3. Solutions
a. Education
4. Conclusion
a. Restate Thesis
b.
SUBMIT THIS YES TEST WITH YOUR OUTLINE! If you can’t answer YES to all
of these…DON’T TURN IN YOUR OUTLINE YET!
FIX IT FIRST!!!
Basic Requirements!
YES
NO
Is the outline typed, in Times New Roman
10 or 12 font?
Is the outline double-spaced?
Do the tabs (indents) match the correct
ones on page 25?
For every A, there is a B…For every 1,
there is a 2, etc.
Does the content flow—causes before
effects, problems before solutions, etc.
Are the thesis statement and hook written
out and clearly labeled?
Has the outline been proofread (by you or
someone else) and proven to be error-free?
How To Do…
According to the MLA Handbook, “Quotations are effective in research papers when used selectively.
Quote only words, phrases, lines, and passages, that are particularly interesting, vivid, unusual, or apt, and
keep all quotations as brief as possible. Overquotation can bore your readers and might lead them to
conclude that you are neither an original thinker nor a skillful writer.”
You must have at least two direct quotations in your sophomore research paper. Here’s how:
__________________________ 32
1. Never quote unless the meaning would be lost in the paraphrase/summary.
2. Always introduce your quote, paraphrase, or summary.
ex: John Smith, world-renowned scholar on Mayan culture, elaborates on the influence the ancient civilization has had
on today’s world, “whatever quote here…”
3. Quote should support ideas.
4. Quote should flow smoothly into the paper.
ex: Do not say: The following quote is about….Or on page 32 in the poem the author means…
5. Keep a quote grammatically correct.
6. If a quote is 4 lines or less:
a. integrate it into the paper
ex: “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times,” wrote Charles Dickens of the eighteenth century.
b. place the period after the citation
ex: your quote goes here” (Shaw 32).
7. If a quote is longer than four lines:
a. isolate the quote from the text
Be sure to watch the sample paper
in this packet (pages 47-50), in
addition to the sample ones in
class, for more instruction on how
to use quotes correctly.
b. introduce the quote with a colon:
c. use no quotation marks around it
d. place the period at the end of the quotation; hit the space bar twice and write the citation
e. double space the text of the quote just like the rest of the paper
f. tab twice from the left margin; the right margin remains one inch
ex: At the conclusion of Lord of the Flies, Ralph and the other boys realize the horror of their actions:
The tears began to flow and sobs shook him. He gave himself up to them now for the first time on the island;
great, shuddering spasms of grief that seemed to wrench his whole body. His voice rose under the black smoke
before the burning wreckage of the island; and infected by that emotion, the other little boys began to shake
and sob too. (Golding 186)
8. Never have back-to-back quotes.
9. Don’t overquote!
Reminder: Tip #1 Never quote unless the meaning would be lost in the paraphrase/summary.
Read the following paragraph about Abraham Lincoln.
In the 1835–1836 legislative session, he voted to expand suffrage to white males, whether landowners
or not. He was known for his "free soil" stance of opposing both slavery and abolitionism. He first
articulated this in 1837, saying, "Institution of slavery is founded on both injustice and bad policy, but
the promulgation of abolition doctrines tends rather to increase than abate its evils.”
What would you paraphrase? What, if anything, would you quote? Why?
Remember, to quote something, it does not already have to be in quotation marks. WHEN YOU
QUOTE IT, YOU PUT THE PHRASE OR SENTENCE IN QUOTATION MARKS.
__________________________ 33
So now that I know what to do with direct quotations…How do I figure out…
There are two ways to share information from
another source: (1) quote the source directly, or
(2) paraphrase the source. When you quote
directly, you include the exact words of the
author and put quotation marks around them.
When you paraphrase, you use your own words to restate someone else's ideas.
In either case, you must cite your source. (See “How to Do…Parenthetical Documentation” on pages 40-42).
To paraphrase, follow the steps below.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Plagiarism is literary theft.
Changing a few words is NOT
Skim the selection first to get the overall meaning.
enough. If you do a terrible job of
Read the selection carefully; pay attention to key words and phrases.
List the main ideas on a piece of paper, without looking at the selection. paraphrasing, that is accidental
Review the selection again.
plagiarism…and it’s still
Write your paraphrase; restate the author's ideas in your own words.
plagiarism…which means you will
a. Stick to the essential information (drop anecdotes and details).
fail. PAY ATTENTION TO THE
b. State each important idea clearly and concisely.
FOLLOWING EXAMPLES.
Don’t forget to put quotation marks around words taken directly from the source and arrange the ideas into a
smooth, logical order.
Check your paraphrase for accuracy by asking these questions:
Have I kept the author's ideas and viewpoints clear in my paraphrase? Have I quoted where necessary?
Have I cut out enough of the original? Too much?
Could another person understand the author's main idea by reading my paraphrase?
Sample Paraphrases
Following the original passage below from a book by Travis Taylor, you'll find two sample paraphrases, both properly cited.
ORIGINAL PASSAGE
Kyudo, which means "the way of the bow" in Japanese, is the Zen martial art of archery. It was adapted into traditional Buddhist practice from
medieval Japanese archers who used seven-foot asymmetrical bows called yumi. Although kyudo lacks the widespread popularity of karate or
judo, it is often regarded as one of the most intensive martial arts in existence, taking an estimated 30 years to master.
The standard execution of kyudo involves a series of specific actions, including assuming the proper posture, approaching the intended target,
nocking the arrow, drawing it, releasing it, and then repeating the process. After the second arrow has been released, the archer approaches the
target, withdraws the arrows, and thus completes the exercise.
There is far more to kyudo, however, than simply shooting arrows. For every movement, the archer must maintain a specific posture, inhaling
and exhaling at predetermined points throughout the exercise. The focus point for breathing and positioning is the region of the lower stomach
called the hara. Careful attention to the hara is supposed to help an archer maintain a solid center of balance.
With continued practice, the archer gains greater abilities of concentration and action. In addition, the repetitive action and deep breathing
greatly relaxes the archer--heightening his alertness and lowering his stress.
CORRECT PARAPHRASE
Kyudo is the Zen martial art of archery. It was adapted from medieval Japanese archery into a spiritual and physical
exercise. Through a series of specific actions, the archer prepares and shoots an arrow into a target and then repeats the
action one more time. The archer's sense of balance comes from focusing on the lower stomach region. The focused
breathing and balanced posture lessen stress and increase the archer's ability to concentrate (Taylor 26).
Kyudo is the Zen martial art of archery. It was adapted from medieval traditional Japanese archery into a spirit~l and
physical exercise. "The standard execution of kyudo involves a series of specific actions, including assuming the proper
posture, approaching the intended target, nocking the arrow, drawing it, [and] releasing it ... " (Taylor 26). An archer's
sense of balance comes from focusing on the lower stomach region. The breathing and balanced posture lessen stress and
increase the archer's ability to concentrate (Taylor 26).
__________________________ 34
Try it out: Paraphrase the following paragraphs in the margins:
Punk rock is an anti-establishment rock music movement with origins in the United States, United Kingdom[1][2] and Australia[3] around 19741975, exemplified by bands such as the Ramones,[4] Sex Pistols,[5] The Damned, and The Clash.
The term punk is used to describe the associated subculture, involving youthful aggression, specific clothing styles, ideologies, and a DIY (do
it yourself) attitude. The cities of London, Sydney, New York City, Washington DC, Los Angeles and Berkeley have been key locales for punk
bands, venues and audiences.
…In the early days of punk rock, musical virtuosity was often looked on with suspicion; complicated guitar solos were considered self-indulgent
and unnecessary, although basic guitar breaks were still common, even in early punk songs. Bass guitar lines are often basic and used to
carry the songs melody, although some punk bass players such as Mike Watt put greater emphasis on more technical bass parts. Guitar parts
tend to include highly-distorted power chords, although some bands take a surf rock approach with lighter, "twangier" guitar tones. Production
is minimalistic, with tracks sometimes laid down on home tape recorders. Punk vocals sometimes sound nasal, and are often shouted instead
of sung in a conventional sense.
Most punk songs have a verse-chorus form and a 4/4 time signature. Punk songs are normally about two and a half minutes long, but can be
merely a few seconds. Punk rock tends to have faster tempos than the rock bands who came before them. Drum beats are usually simplistic,
with quarter note grooves and not very technical bass or snare drum patterns. However, in hardcore punk the drumming is considerably faster
and quite technical.
By the mid-1970s, punk lyrics began to involve confrontational frankness and commentaries on social and political issues. Songs such as The
Clash's "Career Opportunities" and "London's Burning" and Chelsea's "Right to Work", dealt with unemployment, boredom, and other grim
realities of urban life. The Sex Pistols songs "God Save the Queen" and "Anarchy in the U.K." were openly disparaging of the British political
system.
Remember, before you can correctly paraphrase:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Skim the selection first to get the overall meaning.
Read the selection carefully; pay attention to key words and phrases.
List the main ideas on a piece of paper, without looking at the selection.
Review the selection again.
Write your paraphrase; restate the author's ideas in your own words.
a. Stick to the essential information (drop anecdotes and details).
b. State each important idea clearly and concisely.
Main Topic: Punk Rock
Passage specifically addresses:
1.
2.
3.
4.
The definition of punk
Where & when it started
What it sounds like
How it changed
HOW MANY TIMES DO YOU HAVE TO READ THE PASSAGE BEFORE YOU CAN SUCCESSFULLY
PARAPHRASE?
•
Don’t forget to put quotation marks around words taken directly from the source and arrange the
ideas into a smooth, logical order.
Let’s check your answers…and practice some more!!!
PROPER PARAPHRASE: Punk rock is a sub-genre of rock music that first started gaining popularity in
urban areas like London, NYC, and Washington DC in the 1970s. The general theme of punk rock is about
rebellion, much like that of hippies in the 1960s. The majority of punk bands utilize a verse-chorus format
in their songs. Songs are usually about two and a half minutes long, with heavy guitar chords, basic bass
lines, loud yet simple drum beats, fast tempos, and aggressive lyrics. Most punk vocalists shout or almost
rap instead of singing, as seen in bands like the Sex Pistols. By the mid 1970s, punk lyrics began to evolve
to address social and political issues. (Citation goes here!)
__________________________ 35
TIP: Beware the
he use of phrases that you don’t understand…like “anti-establishment”
or “musical virtuosity”—look
look them up before you use them, and CITE them (or
put them in your own words)!
What information can you eliminate?
Probably some (not all) of the bands; some specifics, like Mike Watt (unless
your paper is on influential bass players); maybe the stuff on surf rock,
unless your paper is comparing and contrasting subgenres within punk rock, etc.
Notice how much shorter the
t
properly paraphrased passage is!
Also, notice that it addresses all
the original topics:
1. The definition of punk
2. Where & when it started
3. What it sounds like
4. How it changed
Hey, that seems pretty easy! But wait! Usually your first few attempts
look more these bad examples below.
Read them…and don’t make the same mistakes!
“ACCIDENTALLY
ACCIDENTALLY” PLAGIARIZED PARAPHRASE:
(is too similar, doesn’t cut enough, adds new grammatical errors, and does not include citations.)
It is a type of rock formed by different count
countries like USA, United Kingdom, and Australia. Around 19741974
1975. Different bands
nds that set as an example are the Ramons, Sex Pistols, The Damned, and The Clash.
Punk is a type of style that in values aggression, A certain type of clothing, with a confident attitude the
cities of London, Sydney. New York City, and others are mostly associated with punk bands.
In early days of punk rock, they had guitar solo’s that was not necessary, Mike Watt put greater emphasis
on the technical’s bass parts, to play guitar
guitar- you should have highly distorted power chords, they take out a
lighter on songs its called surf rock, different guitartunes, they record songs to a tape for there fans to listen
to.
Chorus form appears in most punk rock songs also 4/4 time signatu
signature.
re. Most punk songs last two and
Verse-Chorus
a half minutes, tempo’s in punk rock are faster then rock bands before them, drum beats have patterns that
are simple, but its harder and faster in hardcore punk.
By 1970’s, Punk lyrics began to be about social and political issues. The Clashes, and Londons burning
started singing about people not having jobs, boredom, and other things that happen in reality. The sex
Pistols songs “God Save the queen,” and anarchy in the U.K. didn’t care about British political system.
syste
“Accidentally” Plagiarized and Incorrectly Paraphrased:
(needs citations or revisions, possible irrelevant details, adds grammatical errors, too vague—how
vague
is
punk any different from anything else?)
Punk Rock was originated in United States, United Ki
Kingdom
ngdom and Australia. It deals with aggression
clothing styles ideologies and a do it yourself attitude. The guitar solos where hard deals with screaming
and constant drumming. It has aggressive lyrics. There are also surf rock which is simple. Most punk rock
ro
songs are two and a half minutes long. Some songs are shorter and some are longer. They are sometime
constant and technical. By the 70’s the songs dealt with social and political issues
Incorrectly Paraphrased: (too vague; makes it a bit inaccurate, an
and
d adds grammatical errors)
Punk rock started in the U.S. and U.K. around the 1970s. It brought out clothing styles and aggression.
Punk rock is really focused on the guitar, to where hardcore punk rock the drums are very important. The
songs are usually shouted
outed and about two and a half minutes. Punk rock lyrics in the 70s was based on social
and political issues.
__________________________ 36
THERE ARE SEVERAL POSSIBILITIES FOR A CORRECT PARAPHRASE—THERE IS MORE THAN
ONE “CORRECT” ANSWER. However, a good paraphrase should include all of the topics that the
original passage had…unless those topics are irrelevant to your research.
ALSO, ALL PARAPHRASES MUST CONTAIN CITATIONS (PARENTHETICAL DOCUMENTATION) TO
BE CORRECT. I DID NOT GIVE YOU THE INFORMATION YOU NEED TO CITE EACH PARAPHRASE
CORRECTLY; HOWEVER, FOR THIS ASSIGNMENT, YOU SHOULD WRITE (CITATION GOES HERE)
WHEN YOU NEED A CITATION.
Let’s try some more paraphrases!
Sample Paraphrasing Attempt #2
Everyone should be aware of how his or her body normally feels and report any abnormal feelings to their doctor. Often,
these unusual feelings can be attributed to other causes, such as bronchitis. But a doctor should check anything that is
worrisome.
The signs and symptoms of lung cancer can take years to develop and they may not appear until the disease is advanced.
Some symptoms of lung cancer that are in the chest:
• Coughing, especially if it persists or becomes intense
• Pain in the chest, shoulder, or back unrelated to pain from coughing
• A change in color or volume of sputum
• Shortness of breath
• Changes in the voice or being hoarse
• Harsh sounds with each breath (stridor)
• Recurrent lung problems, such as bronchitis or pneumonia
• Coughing up phlegm or mucus, especially if it is tinged with blood
• Coughing up blood
If the original lung cancer has spread, a person may feel symptoms in other places in the body. Common places for lung
cancer to spread include other parts of the lungs, lymph nodes, bones, brain, liver, and adrenal glands.
Some symptoms of lung cancer that may occur elsewhere in the body:
• Loss of appetite or unexplained weight loss
• Fatigue
• Headaches, bone or joint pain
• Bone fractures not related to accidental injury
• Neurological symptoms, such as unsteady gait or memory loss
• Neck or facial swelling
• General weakness
• Bleeding
• Blood clots
Any unusual symptoms should be reported to your doctor.
Properly Paraphrased:
This one is tricky!
Main idea: symptoms of lung cancer
You can’t change or leave out
symptoms (unless that’s not the focus
of your paper).
Turn bullets into lists and CITE, CITE,
CITE!
Do not use YOU in a research paper.
Some common phrases can be “copied”
without citing, like, “Ask a medical
professional,” etc.
Many of the symptoms of lung cancer are same as those for relatively minor ailments like bronchitis, so individuals always
need to be aware of how their own bodies usually feel and report any concerns or abnormalities to a doctor, just in case.
The signs and symptoms can take years to develop and might not even show up at all until the disease has spread.
However, some chest-area symptoms that lung cancer is present include: coughing, especially if it persists or becomes
intense; pain in the chest, shoulder, or back unrelated to pain from coughing; a change in color or volume of sputum
;shortness of breath; changes in the voice or being hoarse; harsh sounds with each breath (stridor); recurrent lung
problems, such as bronchitis or pneumonia; coughing up phlegm or mucus, especially if it is tinged with blood , and
coughing up blood (Citation goes here).
If the original lung cancer has spread, a person may feel symptoms in other places in the body. Common places for lung
cancer to spread include other parts of the lungs, lymph nodes, bones, brain, liver, and adrenal glands (Citation goes here.)
Lung cancer can spread so that the afflicted may exhibit symptoms in areas other than the lungs. For example, loss of
appetite or unexplained weight loss; fatigue; headaches, bone or joint pain; bone fractures not related to accidental injury;
neurological symptoms, such as unsteady gait or memory loss; neck or facial swelling ;general weakness; bleeding; and/or
blood clots (CH).
__________________________ 37
Passage 3
Authorization--President Clinton signed Public Law 103-32 on May 25, 1993, authorizing the American Battle Monuments
Commission (ABMC) to establish a World War II Memorial in Washington, D.C., or its environs. It is the first national
memorial dedicated to all who served during World War II and acknowledging the commitment and achievement of the entire
nation.
Purpose--The memorial honors the 16 million who served in the armed forces of the U.S. during World War II, the more than
400,000 who died, and the millions who supported the war effort from home. Symbolic of the defining event of the 20th
Century, the memorial is a monument to the spirit, sacrifice, and commitment of the American people to the common defense
of the nation and to the broader causes of peace and freedom from tyranny throughout the world. It will inspire future
generations of Americans, deepening their appreciation of what the World War II generation accomplished in securing
freedom and democracy. Above all, the memorial stands as an important symbol of American national unity, a timeless
reminder of the moral strength and awesome power that can flow when a free people are at once united and bonded together in
a common and just cause.
Site--The first step in establishing the memorial was the selection of an appropriate site. Congress provided legislative
authority for siting the memorial in the prime area of the national capital, known as Area I, which includes the National Mall.
The National Park Service, the Commission of Fine Arts, and the National Capital Planning Commission approved selection of
the Rainbow Pool site at the east end of the Reflecting Pool between the Lincoln Memorial and the Washington Monument.
President Clinton dedicated the memorial site during a formal ceremony on Veterans Day 1995.
Design--ABMC engaged the General Services Administration’s (GSA) Public Buildings Service to act as its agent to manage
the memorial project. The design submitted by Friedrich St.Florian, an architect based in Providence, R.I., was selected as one
of six semi-finalists in an open, national competition. Leo A Daly, an international architecture firm, assembled the winning
team with St.Florian as the design architect. The team also included George E. Hartman of Hartman-Cox Architects, landscape
architect Oehme van Sweden & Associates, sculptor Ray Kaskey, and stone carver and letterer Nick Benson. St.Florian’s
memorial design concept was approved by the Commission of Fine Arts and the National Capital Planning Commission in the
summer of 1998. The commissions approved the preliminary design in 1999, the final architectural design and several
ancillary elements in 2000, granite selections in 2001, and sculpture and inscriptions in 2002 and 2003.
Fund-raising Campaign--The memorial was funded primarily by private contributions. The fund-raising campaign was led
by National Chairman Senator Bob Dole and National Co-Chairman Frederick W. Smith.
Senator Dole, a World War II veteran seriously wounded on the battlefield and twice decorated with the Bronze Star and
Purple Heart, was the Republican nominee for president in 1996 and the longest-serving Republican Leader in the U.S. Senate.
Frederick W. Smith is chairman, president and chief executive officer of FedEx Corporation, a global transportation and
logistics holding company. He is a graduate of Yale and a former U.S. Marine Corps officer, and serves on the boards of
various transport, industry and civic organizations.
The memorial received more than $197 million in cash and pledges. This total includes $16 million provided by the federal
government.
Timeline--Construction began in September 2001. The memorial opened to the public on April 29, 2004, and was dedicated
on Saturday, May 29, 2004. The memorial became part of the National Park System on Nov. 1, 2004, when it was transferred
from the American Battle Monuments Commission to the National Park Service, which now operates and maintains the
memorial.
ABMC--The American Battle Monuments Commission is an independent, executive branch agency with 11 commissioners
and a secretary appointed by the president. The ABMC administers, operates and maintains 24 permanent U.S. military
cemeteries and 25 memorial structures in 15 countries around the world. The commission is also responsible for the
establishment of other memorials in the U.S. as directed by Congress.
Topic: The World War II Memorial in
Washington, DC
Ask your teacher if he/she will allow you to
Discusses:
preview your paper on turnitin.com to see if
1. Who started it
2. Where it’s located
you have paraphrased properly by changing
3. Purpose of the memorial
enough of the original author’s wording!
4. Who came up with the design and
See next page for more paraphrasing
how it was selected
examples!
5. How much it costs
6. Where the money to build it came
from
7. The timeline for its completion
8. ABMC & National Park Service
__________________________ 38
Properly Paraphrased:
The World War II Memorial was authorized by President Clinton on May 25, 1993 in order to honor all
World War II veterans and to recognize the “commitment and achievement” of the entire nation
(Citation here). Congress eventually decided that the memorial should be located in the National Mall
area in between the Washington monument and the Lincoln monument. Costing somewhat less than
$197 million to build, most of the WWII memorial funds came from private donations, although 16
million came from the federal government (Citation here). It took about two and a half years to build
and opened to the public on April 29, 2004. The memorial is now operated and maintained by the
National Park Service. Monument visitors will see “a timeless reminder of the moral strength and
awesome power that can flow when a free people are at once united and bonded together in a common
and just cause” (Citation here).
Does it matter who the architect was? Probably not, unless it was someone famous for designing other
monuments. Does it matter when it was dedicated? Probably not. Does it matter what the monument looks
like? YES. Since that was not mentioned in this section, you would need to look at a different section of the
website or at a different website in order to get that information. Also, you should verify the amount of money
that it actually costs! You could include a different quote-- that the memorial is “symbolic of the defining event
of the 20th Century” or that it is a “monument to the spirit, sacrifice, and commitment of the American people to
the common defense of the nation and to the broader causes of peace and freedom from tyranny throughout the
world” (Citation goes here).
“Accidentally” Plagiarized:
(does not cut or change enough, needs citations, adds grammatical errors)
On May 25, 1993 signed the public law 103-32 President Bill Clinton authorizing the American Battle Monuments
Commission to make a World War 2 Memorial in Washington, D.C. It is the first major memorial dedicated to all
the people who worked in World War 2. There were 16 million, more than 400,000 who died and million
supporters are all honored here. The memorial will forever remind us how the world war two generation came
together to fight for peace and freedom.
Congress gave the authority for the memorial to be built between the Lincoln memorial and the Washington
monument. On Veterans Day 1995 born President Clinton decided the memorial site. An open national competition
was held for someone to design the memorial. An international architect firm named Leo A Daly assembled the
winning team with St. Florien as the design architect server others worked with them and the preliminary design.
Senator Bob Dole and Fredrick W. Smith lead the memorial fundraising which was funded mostly by private
contribution. Dole was a wounded veteran of world war two and Smith is chairman, president of the FedEx. The
memorial received more than $197 million in cash and pledges with the $16 million provided by the federal
government. The construction began in September 2001. It opened to everyone on April 29, 2004, and dedicated on
May 29, 2004. The National Park Service has operated and kept up the memorial since November 1, 2004.The
ABMC has 11 commissioners and a secretary appointed by the president. The administers works on 24 permanent
U.S. military and 25 memorial structures in 15 countries around the world. It is also responsible for the building of
other memorials in the US as directed by congress.
Improperly Paraphrased (wrong focus—ABMC is most likely unimportant in this context,
incorrectly interprets information, adds grammatical errors, needs citations)
On May 25th, 1993 President Clinton signed a law about ABMC. ABMC is a national memorial for veterans. It
was located in Washington, D.C. and construction began September 2001. The memorial opened on April 29th,
2004. Now, ABMC has opened 24 military cemeteries and 25 memorial structures in 15 countries.
President Clinton signed a law saying that they should build a memorial for the veterans in world war II. The
memorial is suppose to represent the 16 million veterans who fought in the war. They built the memorial between
the Lincoln Memorial and the Washington Monument. People celebrate it on veterans day. ABMC designed the
memorial. They approved the design in 1999. The memorial was funded by the citizens of America privately. They
put more than 197 million dollars in cash and donations. 16 million dollars came from the federal government.
They started building September 2001. They opened it to the public on April 29, 2004.
__________________________ 39
Passage 4
Teenage mothers are less likely to gain adequate weight during their pregnancy, leading to low birthweight. Low
birthweight is associated with several infant and childhood disorders and a higher rate of infant mortality. Lowbirthweight babies are more likely to have organs that are not fully developed, which can result in complications, such
as bleeding in the brain, respiratory distress syndrome, and intestinal problems.
Teenage mothers have a higher rate of poor eating habits than older women and are less likely to take
recommended daily prenatal multivitamins to maintain adequate nutrition during pregnancy. Teens also are more
likely to smoke cigarettes, drink alcohol, or take drugs during pregnancy, which can cause health problems for the
baby.
Teenage mothers receive regular prenatal care less often than older women. Prenatal care is essential for monitoring
the growth of the fetus and the health of the mother. During prenatal care, medical professionals provide important
information about good nutrition and about other ways to ensure a healthy pregnancy. According to the American
Medical Association (AMA), babies born to women who do not have regular prenatal care are 4 times more likely to
die before the age of 1 year.
Children Born to Teenage Mothers
In addition to increased health risks, children born to teenage mothers are more likely to experience social,
emotional, and other problems. These problems may include the following:
• Children born to teenage mothers are less likely to receive proper nutrition, health care, and cognitive and
social stimulation. As a result, they are at risk for lower academic achievement.
• Children born to teenage mothers are at increased risk for abuse and neglect.
• Boys born to teenage mothers are 13% more likely to be incarcerated later in life.
• Girls born to teenage mothers are 22% more likely to become teenage mothers themselves.
Topic: Teen Pregnancy
Main Ideas: Effects/risks for
children of teen mothers
Properly Paraphrased:
Teen pregnancy has many negative short-term and long-term health effects, especially for the baby. Teen mothers
are less likely to gain adequate weight, eat nutritious foods, take prenatal vitamins, abstain from cigarettes, alcohol,
and drugs, and receive proper prenatal care, all of which are necessary to prevent low birthweight and ensuing
complications. Whenever teens do not follow the suggested medical advice about good nutrition and healthy habits,
their babies can develop problems as severe as undeveloped organs and bleeding in the brain, respiratory distress
syndrome, and intestinal problems (Citation goes here.) Many of these problems can be prevented with proper
prenatal care, but teen mothers are less likely to receive regular prenatal care than older women (Citation goes
here).
Unfortunately, even if a physically healthy baby is born to a teen mother, the child will most likely face many social,
emotional, and other problems. The child will be less likely to receive proper nutrition, health care, and cognitive and
social stimulation (and therefore, be at risk for lower academic achievement). Shockingly enough, boys born to teen
mothers are 13% more likely to be incarcerated than boys born to older mothers, and girls born to teen mothers are
22% more likely to become teen mothers themselves (Citation goes here.)
“Babies born to women who do not receive regular prenatal care are 4 times more likely to
die before the age of 1 year” is a great quote/statistic. Why not use it? You could, but you
need more information—how many—number or percentage--of those women are teens?
Once again, with medical topics, rephrase where/when you can…but you can’t change the
meaning. Be sure to cite frequently and direct quote when needed. Remember, you do not
need to direct quote common knowledge information that cannot be rephrased, like “more
likely to experience social, emotional, and other problems.”
Improperly Paraphrased: (Needs clearer focus, adds new grammatical errors, needs citations)
Teenage mothers who don’t gain weight during there pregnancy have a higher risk of there baby having
complications such as bleeding in the brain, respiratory stress syndrome, and inteston problems. Teen mothers have
poor eating habits and are most likely to smoke, drink, do drugs, which can cause health problems for the baby.
Teenage mothers that do not receive medical care often have a high percentage rate of losing there baby before the
__________________________ 40
age of one. In adision to increased health risks teenage mothers children are more likely to have social, emotional,
and other problems. These children are less likely to recseve proper nutrition, health care, and social stimulation.
These children are at increased risk for abuse and nuglect. Boys are 13% more likely to be incarcerated. Girls are
22% more likely to become teenage mothers themselves.
Improperly Paraphrased: (Too short/too vague and does not entirely address main idea, also includes new
grammatical errors, and needs citations.)
Over the past decade, only 43% of teens getting pregnant. During their pregnancy, only 23 % of them avoiding
drugs. Children born to teenage mothers are more likely to have problems that other children don’t have.
Improperly Paraphrased: (Too vague & does not address main idea, also includes new grammatical errors)
Teenage mothers are most likely to have premature or stillborn babys because of them not taking prenatal vitamins
So now you know how to paraphrase
correctly, and you know where a citation
goes, because you’ve been writing “citation
goes here”…but you obviously can’t do that
in your paper.
You need to know:
How To Do…
(inside the paper!!!)
FYI—The phrases “In-Text Citations” and “Parenthetical Documentation” are used interchangeably,
and are part of MLA Documentation (along with a Works Cited page.)
Why you document (CITE):
1. to alert readers to the source of our information
2. to give credit to the writers from whom you have borrowed words OR IDEAS.
When you document (CITE):
1. when you use a direct quote from an outside source or reference.
2. when you borrow any ideas from a source:
a.
b.
c.
d.
e.
paraphrase
sentences
summaries of paragraphs or chapters
statistics or little known facts
tables, graphs, or diagrams
IF YOU ARE NOT SURE WHETHER TO CITE A SOURCE OR NOT,
JUST DO IT!!!! Better safe than sorry!
__________________________ 41
Guidelines for Giving Credit In the Report (aka parenthetical documentation)
(HERE’S HOW YOU CITE INFORMATION INSIDE THE PAPER!
The period should always go after the citation unless you are citing a quote that is longer than 4 lines!!!!
1. Print Sources With One Author
(Last name Page #).
(Jones 64).
Exception=If the author’s name is given in a paragraph, just use the page number.
It may be true, as Robertson maintains, that “In the appreciation of medieval art the attitude of the
observer is of primary importance …” (136).
2. Print Sources by Authors with the Same Last Name
(First Name Initial Last Name Page #) (First Name Initial Last Name Page #).
(M. Smith 21) (J. Smith 33).
For all sources (but especially check
internet sources) whatever is in
3. Print Sources with More than One Author
(Last Name and Last Name Page #).
parenthetical documentation needs to
(Rust and Sharer 102).
“match up to” the entry on Works Cited
page.
(“New Information” 34) corresponds to an
4. Print Sources with No Author Given
entry starting with “New Information” in
(“Article Title” Page #).
(“New Information” 34).
the Works Cited.
5. More than One Print Source by the Same Author
(Last Name, “Title” Page #) (Last Name, “Title” Page #).
(Nissen, “Olmec Legacy” 21) (Nissen, “New Discoveries” 45).
6. Internet Source w/ Author Listed (You do not need a page number.)
(Author’s Last Name)
7. continued
(Whitmarsh)
Citing a Work Listed by Title
7.Internet Source without Author Listed
(“Article Title”)
(“American Heart Association”)
Exception=Unless there is no article title, then website title
(College Board) if the website is CollegeBoard.com
8.Interview Source
(Last Name of Person Interviewed)
(Luedtke)
The nine grades of mandarins were
“distinguished by the color of the button on
the hats of office” (“Mandarin”).
International espionage was as prevalent as
ever in the 1990s (“Decade”).
In winter the snowy owl feeds primarily on
small rodents (“Snowy Owl, Hinterland), but in
spring it also feeds on the eggs of much larger
waterfowl, such as geese and swans (“Snowy
Owl,” Arctic).
9.Multiple Pages
(Tannen 178-85) or (178-85) if the author’s name is used in the sentence.
10.An entire work—whether a print source; a non-print source such as a film, a television broadcast, or
performance; a Web publication that has no pagination or other type of reference markers--it is often
preferable to include in the text.
Example: Fukuyama’s Our Posthuman Future includes many examples of this trend. (Corresponds to
Fukuyama on Works Cited.)
__________________________ 42
Make sure that your parenthetical documentation DOES NOT LOOK LIKE ANY OF THESE!
THEY ARE ALL INCORRECT!!!
(Jones, 54).
(Stipe # 1001)
(Armstrong pg. 90)
(Osbourne 450.)
A paper with no parenthetical documentation counts as PLAGIARIZED, whether you meant it that way or not!
More GOOD Examples:
Wordsworth stated that Romantic poetry was marked by a “spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings”
(263).
Romantic poetry is characterized by “the spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings” (Wordsworth 263).
Wordsworth extensively explored the role of emotion on the creative process (Burke 3).
(“Impact of Global Warming”) (would correspond to Works Cited entry that starts with article title “Impact
of Global Warming” and does not have a page number listed because it is a web source)
Sample Paragraphs with Citations
Directions: After reading both paragraphs, highlight the citations (that would be the parenthetical documentation).
What kinds of information are cited?
Thirteen percent of US births are to teens. And about 85 percent of them are unplanned, accounting for about ¼ of all
accidental pregnancies yearly (Bode 131). Due to negative outcomes of early childbearing, most teens do not finish
high school, are in poverty, unemployed, and have low self-esteem (Christensen and Rosen 1).
Since human nature seems to dictate that we see things from a personal, and not environmental standpoint, the most
obvious consequence of sprawl-related traffic congestion is the time spent “stuck” in traffic—time lost and fuel
burned while stuck in traffic costs Americans tens of billions of dollars a year. In Los Angeles, residents have lost an
estimated 12 billion dollars a year due to traffic delays (“Sierra Club” 1). Residents of Atlanta have the unfortunate
designation of having one of the longest commutes mileage-wise in the country, clocking in at more than 35 miles on
the average, per commuter, each trip (Paving the American Dream).
Practice—Create parenthetical documentation for each of the following:
Watch out for the EXTRA information—don’t let it trick you!
1. The author is Marisa Kakerindes. The quote was found on page 385.
2. There is no author. The internet article title is “Heart Disease Facts.” You think the
page number might be 3, but you are not sure.
3. The authors are Dave Smith and Jon Kline. The book title is Teenage Pregancy: What
Can You Do?. You used information from page 43.
4. You are using information received in a personal interview on March 15, 2005 from a
pediatrician named Hubert Glax.
__________________________ 43
Before you go any further:
you must have finished your research (note-taking, highlighting, etc.)
you must have written an outline and had it approved by me! (You might change it
some later, but you have to have one to start your paper!!!)
Before you start writing your paper, set up the following:
12 Point Times New Roman Font (It probably defaulted to Calibri 11)
Double-Spaced AaBbCcDd paragraph normal (1st style under “Styles”)
1 inch Margins--Page Layout—Margins Normal 1” Top Left Bottom Right
Make sure the first page of your paper looks like the sample below:
Put your last name and page number in the header. (See below for directions.)
Last Name #
Your Name
Ms. P. Bridgers
English II
Date Turned In
08 May 2011
Title
Your last name and the page numbers of your paper go in the upper-right hand corner. This is what the
computer calls the header (so your last name and the page # will appear on each page of the paper.)
Be sure to follow the directions below because IF YOU MANUALLY ENTER THE NUMBER 1 IN THE
HEADER INSTEAD OF USING AUTOFORMAT, EVERY PAGE IN YOUR PAPER WILL BE
INCORRECTLY LABELLED AS PAGE 1—PAGE 1 WILL BE 1, PAGE 3 WILL BE 1, AND SO ON…
How to do last name/page numbers:
Under “Insert” (top left corner), click on “Page Number”
Choose the 3rd option (Plain #3)
The page number will appear in the right side margin. On the left side of the number, type your last name
and hit the space bar once.
It should look like:
Smith 1
If you followed the above directions correctly, every page should have the correct page number on it.
__________________________ 44
A Guide to
DRAFTING
This is it-your
your first draft, your first complete look at a writing idea.
All of your searching and planning have led up to this point. Write as much of your first draft as possible
in the first sitting while all of your prewriting is still fresh in your mind. Think of drafting as the process of connecting all of
the ideas that you have collected about your subject. Refer to your planning notes as you write, but be open to new ideas as
they emerge. Keep these additional points in mind as you write:
1. Concentrate on developing your ideas, not on producing a final copy.
2. Include as
s much detail as possible.
3. Continue writing until you make all of your main points, or until you come to a
logical stopping point.
Tip: Some writers pay special attention to the specific wording in their opening paragraph before they dive headfirst
into
o their first draft. Once the beginning part is set, they find it much easier to carry out the rest of their writing. Other
writers are more interested in getting all of their thoughts on paper right away. Author John Steinbeck supports the
second approach.. As he advises: "Write freely and as rapidly as possible and throw the whole thing on paper." YOU
CAN CHOOSE EITHER.
Tip: It’s easier to just sit down and type at the computer. Double
Double-space
space to make revising by hand much easier. If you
have to draft by hand,
nd, with pen and paper, write on every other line, and use only one side of the paper.
Remember to write your first draft freely, without being too concerned about neatness and correctness. This
is why a first draft is often called a rough draft. Just makee sure that your writing is legible.
THE BIG PICTURE: When writing a first draft, give special attention to these traits of effective writing: ideas,
organization, and voice.
Ideas: Develop all the worthwhile thoughts and ideas you have collected, and consider new ideas or directions as they
come to mind. (A first draft is your first look at a developing writing idea.)
Organization: Use your prewriting and planning as a general guid
guidee when you write. Try to work logically through
your draft from the opening to the closing paragraph.
Writing an Opening Paragraph (Introduction)
For almost all of your writing-narratives,
narratives, essays, reviews, and reports
reports-you
you need to plan an opening or lead
paragraph. Your opening should help clarify your thinking about your subject and accomplish three things: It should
introduce your subject, gain your reader's attention, and identify your thesis, or focus. The opening paragraph is one
of the most important elements in any composition because it sets the tone and estab
establishes
lishes the basic organization for
your writing.
There are many ways to begin an opening paragraph:
Share some thought-provoking
provoking details about the subject.
Ask your reader a challenging ques
question.
Begin with an informative quotation.
Provide a dramatic, eye
eye-opening statement.
Open with some thoughtful dialogue or an engaging story.
Identify the main points you plan to cover.
Which one of the above would work for you? Write any ideas here: _____________________________________.
__________________________ 45
Sample Opening Paragraph (Introduction)
The following opening paragraph comes from student writer Steve Crandall's essay about driver education.
Note how effectively he gains the reader's attention by offering thought-provoking ideas about his subject.
He also establishes a serious tone and sets down a basic organization for the rest of the writing. (The thesis
statement is underlined.)
The results of today's driver education programs are visible every day, on every road. You can see
them in the guy who squeals dangerously into traffic on a busy street or in the girl who nearly
blows through a stop sign while talking on a cell phone. Many people say younger drivers are to
blame for the problems on our roads; but, if they are to be blamed, it is only because they were
poorly prepared. Young drivers are products of driver education programs that are outdated,
ineffective, and in need of improvement.
ALWAYS END YOUR INTRODUCTION WITH YOUR THESIS STATEMENT!!!
Okay, the introduction is usually the hardest part…let’s move on!
Developing the Middle
The middle paragraphs in your draft should support your thesis. Make sure to use your planning notes
(outline, list, cluster) as a general guide for your writing. Here are some ways to support your thesis:
Explain: Provide important facts, details, and examples.
Describe: Tell in detail how something works, etc.
Define: Identify or clarify the meaning of a specific term or idea.
Argue: Use logic and evidence to prove something is true.
Compare: Provide examples to show how two things are alike or different.
Analyze: Examine the parts of something to better understand the whole.
Reflect: Express your thoughts or feelings about something (without using I or you—tricky!)
Good writing will utilize more than one of the above methods of elaboration.
You should not have anything, not one single sentence, ANYWHERE IN YOUR PAPER,
that does not support your thesis.
Sample Middle Paragraphs
Provided below are three sample paragraphs from Steve Crandall's essay on driver education.
In the first paragraph, he describes and reflects upon a special type of licensing program.
Some states have adopted graduated licensing programs to produce better drivers. Such programs require that
beginning drivers receive three different types of licenses. First, they must obtain a learner's permit, then, after six
months, a Junior Operator's License. After another six months, they are eligible for a full license. Before getting this
license, a new driver cannot have anyone under 18 in the car unless
an over-21 adult is in the front passenger seat. A new driver is also not allowed to drive between midnight and 5 a.m.
This approach seems good in theory, but is it really effective? For example, do the drivers in these programs receive
enough behind-the-wheel experience during their training period? In addition, can any over-21 adult accompany a
junior operator? What if this adult has a poor driving record?
In this paragraph, the writer analyzes the existing driver education program in his state and compares it to
those in other countries.
A few simple changes in the existing driver ed program would do a great deal to improve the quality of new drivers.
On the written test in our state, a score of 14, on a 2O-question test is a passing grade. It would not be unreasonable to
require at least a score of 18 on this test. Currently, only 54 total hours of training are deemed necessary, with 30 of
these hours completed in .the classroom. Some countries, including Canada, require many more hours of training
(triple or quadruple the time), with a higher percentage of in-car training. Those same countries also require beginning
__________________________ 46
drivers to spend a significant amount of money (up to $2,000) to receive their training. This is not necessarily what
should be done here, but certainly many more hours of behind-the-wheel training are necessary.
Later in the essay, the writer reflects on the cause and possible prevention of most traffic accidents.
Human error accounts for most traffic accidents. Weather would not have to be a major factor if drivers were taught
how to drive on wet or icy roads. Road rage may cause some accidents, but many could also be avoided if drivers were
properly trained. Unfortunately, no training can help drivers in certain situations, such as confronting drunk drivers.
Still, new drivers ought to receive training in night driving, driving in rainy and foggy conditions, and in defensive
driving.
Bringing Your Writing to a Close
Closing paragraphs are important when you need to tie up any loose ends or clarify certain points in your essay.
They help readers see the importance of your thesis or message. Experiment with possible closings before you
settle on one. Closing paragraphs should do one or more of the following things:
Restate the thesis.
Answer any questions left unanswered in the middle paragraphs.
Review the main points.
Emphasize the special importance of one of the main points.
Connect with the reader's experience or with life in general.
An effective closing is an ending-plus more to think about. In the first part of your closing, review specific
points you covered in your writing. In the second part, broaden your scope by saying something more
general about the subject, something that will keep the subject alive in the reader's mind.
Sample Closing Paragraph
In this sample closing, the writer restates the thesis of his essay and reviews some of his main
points. In addition, the final point emphasizes the importance of the subject.
The current driver education programs don't meet the needs of today's young drivers.
What's needed are new, more extensive programs, producing young drivers who are much
better prepared for the road and much less likely to have careless accidents. Human error,
which causes most accidents, will never be totally eliminated; but it can be reduced if
young drivers are prepared in the proper way. In the end, this training may mean fewer
traffic injuries and deaths on the road, something that would benefit everyone.
CONCLUSION REMINDERS/TIPS:
Did you remember summarize your main points?
Did you leave your reader thinking about the future of this issue, and why it’s important?
Include a lovely quote from someone else—they probably said it better than you could have. DON’T FORGET TO CITE☺.
GENERAL WRITING TIPS:
After you have completed this first writing, review your writing plan and your note cards to see if
you have missed or misplaced any important points. Then continue writing, filling in or
reorganizing ideas as you go along.
1.
2.
3.
4.
Use your own words as much as possible. Include the ideas of others or direct quotations only
when they add significant support to your thesis.
Keep your readers in mind. What do they already know about your subject? What do they need
to know? How can you keep their interest?
Expect to make many changes in your first draft before it says what you want it to say.
Make sure that your introduction gains your reader's attention and identifies your thesis, that
each paragraph in the body develops a main point about your subject, and that your
conclusion ties everything together.
__________________________ 47
Now look at the sample paper to see more examples of parenthetical documentation, etc.
While you are reading the sample paper, please notice:
The attention-grabbing introduction
The thesis statement
The topic sentences
The quotes
The elaboration
The grammar and mechanics
The computer requirements—header, etc.
The conclusion
OFFICIAL DIRECTIONS:
Using your five pack highlighters, you are going to highlight the following information in
the sample paper. Use this chart to help you:
Trait
1. Parenthetical Documentation & Thesis Statement (Once you have
highlighted all the documentation and the thesis, go back and
underline the thesis in black ink as well…)
Color
Yellow
2. Attention-grabber (also known as a hook)
Orange
3. Direct Quotes
Pink
4. Topic Sentences
Green
5. Elaboration
Blue
(Don’t worry, I promise we’ll discuss your answers when you’re done! And yes, that means you still have
to do it!!! )
Tips:
Don’t try a creative introduction like this one UNLESS YOU CAN DO IT WELL! (He does, but if
YOU can’t, stick with what you know—for example, a rhetorical question, a staggering statistic,
etc!)
When this paper was submitted, the student’s last name and page number were on all pages of the
paper. I removed the name and the page numbers so the author would remain anonymous and so
you would not be confused by two sets of page numbers. It was also originally double-spaced (like
yours should be) but this manual is already more than 70 pages long.
And don’t use “you!” (Other than that, this is a great paper☺). However, something like that can
be the difference b/w an A & B.
__________________________ 48
Chris P___________
English II
7 December 2004
Protecting Your PC
It was a cold night in April. James had just logged on to his new computer, and he was downloading files
at random. As he downloaded files he found one that didn’t seem quite right. He thought to himself, “It’s
just a file.” Ten minutes later, his computer…was dead. That file was the dreaded Anarchy.6093 Virus,
and James isn’t alone in this problem. The damage done by computer viruses can best be exterminated by
using anti-virus software, being cautious about downloads; and being suspicious of all software and files.
A virus is any application, text document, or other kind of executable file, and as Maya Angelou puts it best
"Love is like a virus. It can happen to anybody at any time," (“Think Exist”). Viruses are used as weapons
of mass destruction on computers. People to access your information, deleted files for malicious purposes
use them, or scare people into doing drastic things, such as run system recovery programs. Most viruses fall
under the title of Trojan horses, but there are others such as worms, files that go through a net work and eat
slowly at your files, and bombs, viruses that when activated destroy everything.
Viruses are made to destroy data, steal information, or play a cruel joke on someone. Most viruses
are best known as Trojan horses. They can be interpreted any way, but the best is that it enters your
system, disguised as another type of file. Usually this file is a helpful file, like an anti-virus scanner or
spyware removal tool. This file can be activated on restart, or by installing whatever kind of file the virus
is disguised as. When the virus is installed on to your system, it can do whatever it wants. The virus will
set into your computer like a termite. It sets in slowly, being fairly difficult to detect, unless you have a
more recent anti-virus scanner. After going through your systems registry, deleting things that would make
it difficult for the virus to take over. Finally, after it has made a path for itself, it will set in completely.
Unless your anti-virus detected it early, it will become more difficult to destroy now (Berger 1).
They are sent as files, that you download, or install from a removable storage device (CDs, Floppy disk,
etc…), cookies, files that your computer downloads in order to remember the websites you have visited
making it easy to access them later, or various other sources (Berger 3).
The virus, depending what kind it is, will activate its true purpose. The worst thing it can do is
format your hard disk drive, this means it will delete everything off your hard disk drive (“Virus
Nightmare”). Another thing, considered by most to be the worst, is when the virus monitors when you type
passwords into things, such as e-mail accounts, and copies your username and password. It then sends both
to the virus operator. This is considered hacking, and is covered by a different type of protection, but it is
mostly affiliated to viruses. The last thing one can do if act as a joke, also called a Hoax virus. A hoax
__________________________ 49
virus can do any harm. Some people get a laugh from seeing people become frantic with fear from a virus.
Someone people, mainly those who have little computer knowledge, take such measures as running a
system recovery disk to rid themselves of the virus. The disk will reinstall your operation system, which
means you will lose all files on your hard disk drive.
There are many ways of protecting yourself from viruses. The most effective is using an anti-virus
program. There are many kinds of anti-virus programs, a lot of them work wonders, but there are some that
are fakes. They are, ironically, viruses. The best logic is to now just have one virus scanner, but to have
two or more. The more you have the better chance you have of one of them detecting a virus that the other
cannot yet detect. The best anti-virus scanners out today are McAfee and Panda (“Virus Nightmare”).
McAfee isn’t free but once you buy it you will get updates for as long as the program exists. Panda, on the
other hand, is both free and purchasable. You can run the scanner directly from their website, which is very
effective, or you can buy it and run it off your computer. These are the best, but there are others are easily
comparable. AVG is a newer scanner but that doesn’t make it any less adequate. It is free, and comes with
monthly updates. You can also purchase it, but that is not necessary for it offers just as many features in
the free edition as it does in the full, paid for, edition.
As stated before, anti-virus is the best means of protecting your computer, but one of the some of the worst
viruses come from types of files called spyware. Spyware is anything one your computer that allows
someone other than you, or anyone you have given access, to see and use things on your computer. With
access to your computer, anyone could put whatever he or she want on your computer at any given time.
The only way to rid your computer of spyware is by using spyware removal programs, such as Ad-aware or
Spy Sweeper. Both of these programs are free, and offer excellent protection.
To add to spyware, there are other problems involving people breaking into your computer. Some
people will use openings, called ports, to gain access to your computer and plant spyware. To avoid these
people getting into your computer you will need a firewall (Mohamed 1). Firewalls are like those little
plastic covers parents put on electrical outlets to avoid little children from getting hurt. Your computer is
the child, and the port is the outlet.
Another method, considered by computer technicians to be common sense, is just being careful.
Most of the time people acquire viruses by downloading files that are obviously infected, opening
attachments in e-mails or clicking those pop-ups on websites that ask you to accept, and trust them (“Virus
Nightmare”). When you download files, you need to be very careful. There are some common sense facts
that will help you when downloading files. Do not download anything off a website that you have never
been on, or have heard of before. If you receive and e-mail, with an attachment, from a person you’ve
never heard of before, do not download the attachment. Finally, on some websites they have a pop-up that
__________________________ 50
asks you to accept the following agreement. Never accept these things. There are some that you can trust,
like Microsoft.com and Macromedia.com, but other then the obvious ones, do not accept these.
Of course, protecting yourself only goes as far as to make sure you don’t receive the virus in the
first place. If you already have a virus you will have to do things differently. If you don’t already have an
anti-virus scanner, then you will need to get one. Running an online scanner, like Panda, is recommended.
Offline ones, like AVG, will work too, but sometimes a virus can deactivate your anti-virus without you
even knowing. Also, as stated before, try and get two anti-virus scanners. The more you have the better
chance your computer has of preventing infection.
Sometimes when you get a virus, like the deadly Klez virus, you will be unable to delete it with an
anti-virus program. This is when you must find single use utility. There are many utilities, most of them
designed to destroy a certain virus. They work the same as an anti-virus program, except they work
completely on destroying one virus. These utilities are usually found on websites like Download.com and
Pcworld.com.
To conclude, viruses are the biggest problem facing computers today. There are more viruses in
existences then can ever be contained. The best answer to computer protection is to just get an anti-virus,
or two. To avoid problems, be careful what you download and install. Finally, for those who don’t know
enough about computers, and demonstrate computer skills equal to my mother’s, the words of Chandler
Bing, from the popular show “Friends,” will explain what this paper cannot, “Don't touch the computer.
Don't ever touch the computer,” (Tuck 1).
Only cite (list) works that
YOU ACTUALLY USED!!!!!!
How To Do A…
If you need 5 sources, and you have 5
sources listed in your Works Cited, but
you only cited three sources in your
paper, then you have three sources, not
five.
A works cited is, you guessed it!
A list of the resources you used, yes, actually used, in your paper.
If your source cards are correct…just do the following:
1. Begin your Works Cited as a separate Word file.
2. Center the words Works Cited one inch
from the top of sheet of paper. Do not underline it.
If your source cards
AREN’T correct, you
have to fix them before
you can go any further!
3. Enter the source information from
the middle of your source cards in alphabetical order. (See “Guidelines for Recording Source
Information” on pages 6-11 ). Once again, IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER.
__________________________ 51
4. Double-space the entire Works Cited.
5. Double check that all citations are blocked on the left (NOT INDENTED!)
6. If a citation continues to the next line, then THAT line, and any following lines, are indented. (It’s
the opposite of a paragraph!)
The following is NOT a Works Cited. It is a list of websites. If you do this, I can
grade your paper, but you will not receive any credit for having a Works Cited
page.
Work cited
http://www.crimical-law.freeadvice.com/drunk_driving/north-carolina-dui.htm
http://www.burroughs-law.com
http://psychologicalinfo.com/problems/family/html
http://www.nhs.uk/chq/pages/2096.aspx?categoryid=87&subcategoryid=871
http://www.lifestyle.iloveindia.com/lounge/drunk-driving-facts-1454.html
The following Works Cited page is almost correct.
What’s wrong with it? Refer to pages 6-11 & 50-53 if you need to.
Works Cited
Lewis, Diane P.”Common Barn Owl-Tyto Alba” Owlpages. N.p. Web. 9 December 2010
http://www.owlpages.com/owls.php?genus=Tyto&species=alba
“Striped Owl- Asio Clamator” Owlpages. N.p. Web. 9 December 2010
http://www.owlpages.com/owls.php?genus=Asio&species=clamator
König, Claus, Friedhelm Weick, and Jan-Hendrik Becking. Owls: a Guide to the owls of the World
World. 1st ed. Hong Kong: Yale University Press, P 1999. Print.
“Barn Owl” Peregrinefund. N.p. Web. 9 December 2010
http://www.peregrinefund.org/explore=raptors/owls/barnowl.html
Thurber, Walter A, Rebecca Lohnes, and Thomas S. Schulenburg. “Pseudoscops clamator”
NeotropicalBirds. Cornell Lab of Ornithology 2009. 9 December 2010
http://neotropical.birds.cornell.edu/portal/species/identification?P_P_spp=36400
Moser, Penny. “Eye of the Beast” discovermagazine.com. N.p. 1 December 1999. Web. 12
December,2010
http://discovermagazine.com/1999/dec/feateye/?searchterm=eyes%20of%20the%20beast.
__________________________ 52
There is something seriously wrong
with the next Works Cited, even
though you might not notice it at
first—what’s wrong with it?
Work Cited
1776, By. “The Illuminati.” Anti-Masonry: Points of View. Web. 20 Dec. 2010
<http://www.masonicinfo.com/illuminati.htm.>
Exposing the NOW Global Governance Conspiracy for Setting up a One World Government.
Web. 20 Dec. 2010. <http://www.newworldorderinfo.com/>.
“Quotes on the New World Order.” The Illuminati is setting a One World Government! Web. 20 Dec.
2010. <http://www.jesus-is-savior.com/FalseReligions/Illuminati/uotes_on_the_new_world_order.htm>.
“SMOKING GUN PROOF THAT THE ILLUMINATI PLAN TO ATTACKON 9/11 AND BEYOND
WAS WELL KNOWN AS FAR BACK AS 1995.” The Cutting Edge-Spiritual Insights Into The New
World Order So Startling You’ll Never Look At The News The Same Way Again. Web. 20 Dec. 2010
<http://www.cuttingedge.org/news/n1753.cfm>.
Works Cited
These are both correctly formatted
examples of a Works Cited page.
However, there is something wrong
with the second one (see next page)what is it?
Angelfire: Welcome to Angelfire. Web. 17 Dec 2010
<http://www.angelfire.com/la/raeder/Germany3.html>.
“Attack At Pearl Harbor, 1940” Eye Witness to History – History through the Eyes of Those Who Lived It.
Web. 17 Dec. 2010. <http://eyewitnesstohistory.com/blitzkrieg.htm>.
“Blitzkreig, 1940.” EyeWitness to History – History through the Eye of Those Who Lived It.
Web. 17 Dec. 2010. <http://eyewitnesstohistory.com/blitzkrieg.htm>.
MaXimus, By. “World War Two - Main Causes.” History on the Net Main Page. Web 17 Dec. 2010.
<http://www.historyonthenet.com/WW2/causes.htm>.
“Nazi Party in Germany.” German Culture. Web Dec. 2010.
<http://www.germanculture.com.ua/library/weekly/aa012400b.htm>.
World War 2. Web. 17 Dec. 2010. <http://www.world-war-2.info/atomiic-bomb/>.
__________________________ 53
Works Cited
Berger, Sandy. “What is a Computer Virus?” AARP Member Tips. AARP. n.d. Web. 27 Nov. 2004.
<Http://www.aarp.og/computers- howto/articles/a2002-0718-virus.html >.
Chesbro, Mick. "Ten Tips To Protect Your PC For Free." N.p. n.d. Web. 27 Nov. 2004.
<http://www.alpharubicon.com/elect/10pctipsmc.htm.>
"Computer Virus Help." N.p. 23 October 2004. Web. 27 Nov. 2004. <http://pages.prodigy.net/henri_delger/prevent.htm.> .
"History of Computer Viruses," Global Issues Today. N.p. n.d. Web. 26 Nov. 2004.
<http://www.kfor.com/Global/story.asp?S=1162736>.
Mohamed, Asif. "Top 10 Ways to Protect Your Computer." Computer Q& A. Science Now. 20 Feb. 2003. Web. 26 Nov. 2004.
<http://www.caribvoice.org/Science%20&%20Tech/10waystokeep.htm>.
“The History of Computer Viruses – A Timeline.” Computers A-Z. N.p. n.d. Web. 26 Nov. 2004.
<Http://www.exn.ca/nerds/20000504-55.cfm. >.
“The History of Computer Viruses.” N.p. 19 March 2004. Web. 26 Nov. 2004.
<Http://www.virus-scan-sotware.com/virus-scan- help/answers/the-history-of-computer-viruses.shtml>.
Tuck, Michael. "Troubleshooting and Resource Guide to Windows." N.p. 02 Jan. 2004. Web. 26 Nov. 2004.
<http://www.toejumper.net/.>.
"Think Exist." N.p. n.d. Web. 4 Dec. 2004. <http://www.thinkexist.com/>.
"Virus Nightmare." PC Maintenance Monthly. 03 July 2004. Web. 26 Nov. 2004.
<http://www.pcsndreams.com/Pages/Virus_protection.htm>.
The following is a not-so-perfect Works Cited. Fix it!
(If you can’t proofread this one, how can you proofread your own?)
Source Page
Budge, E. A. Wallis. The Mummy, A Handbook of Egyptian Funerary Archaeology. Canada: General Publishing Company,
1989.
Freeman, Charles. The Legacy of Ancient Egypt. New York: Facts on File Inc.; 1997.
Haslam, Andrew. Make It Work; Ancient Egypt. United States: World Book Inc.; 1997.
Johnson, Andrew. Interview. October 23rd, 2004.
www.ancientegypt.com. December 27th, 2004.
Don’t wait until the last minute to do your Works Cited page! A Works Cited is annoying and complicated, and you will do it incorrectly if
you wait until 2 AM the morning it’s due to do it.
Follow the guidelines. If you have questions, please ask! Don’t think you can just ignore the format and it will just go away! You can
easily lose at least 15 points from mistakes found only on the Works Cited page!
If you don’t turn in a Works Cited page with your paper, I WON’T ACCEPT YOUR PAPER!
__________________________ 54
Research Paper Yes Test
DO NOT SUBMIT YOUR PAPER UNTIL YOU CAN ANSWER “YES” TO ALL OF THE FOLLOWING.
THIS SHEET SHOULD BE THE FIRST SHEET IN YOUR BROWN CLASP ENVELOPE.
DO NOT STAPLE IT; JUST PUT IT IN THERE FIRST!!!
YES
NO
BASIC REQUIREMENTS
1. Paper is typed AND header is in correct format.
2. Outline is included.
3. Paper meets correct length requirements (4-6 pages).
4. Thesis is clearly stated in introduction and “wrapped” in conclusion.
5. Thesis is supported by the content of the paper.
6. Correct documentation style is used in text. (MLA Format)
7. Student’s last name and page # are on each page of the paper.
8.Works Cited page is correctly formatted WITH THE CORRECT
NUMBER OF SOURCES.
9. Paper is written in third person, non-biased research.
(No I, me, you…)
10. There is evidence of consistent and conscientious editing.
11. All notes and related process materials have been submitted.
Notes to Myself
Things I Need to Fix:
__________________________ 55
No, if you ignore it, it won’t just go away!
PURPOSE: Revising is the process of
improving the thoughts and details that carry the message in your writing. It
consists of adding new information, rewriting or rearranging parts, cutting
unnecessary ideas, and so on.
Don't pay undue attention to surface issues (spelling, usage, grammar, and so on) too early
in the process; otherwise, you may overlook ways to improve the content of your writing.
STARTING POINT: You're ready to revise once you ...
complete a first draft
set it aside for a day or two (if possible)
are really ready to closely review your writing.
Focus first on the big picture-the thesis and overall organization of your writing.
Then carefully examine the specific parts, which should support or develop the thesis.
(No matter how you revise, always save your original copy for future reference. You may want to add something back in
later. )
THE BIG PICTURE: When revising,
1. Pay special attention to the following traits of good writing: ideas, organization, and voice.
2.
Ideas: Make sure that you have included sufficient information to support or develop your thesis.
Always keep your readers in mind when you evaluate the effectiveness of your ideas. Have you
answered their most pressing questions about your subject?
3. Organization: Check the overall design of your writing, making sure that it moves smoothly and
logically from one main point to the next. Also check the effectiveness of each main part-the
beginning, the middle, and the ending-in your writing.
4. Voice: Does your writing sound like you are genuinely interested in your subject? Does the tone of
your writing match your purpose (polite, serious, lighthearted)?
5. Look at specific chunks of information. Rewrite any parts that aren't as clear as you would like
them to be. Also cut information that doesn't support your thesis, and add ideas if you feel
your readers will need more information.
6. Evaluate your opening and closing paragraphs. Make sure that they effectively introduce and wrap
up your writing. (This is the hard part!)
7. Now you can worry about spelling, grammar, and punctuation!
__________________________ 56
A Closer look at Revising…
Knowing Your Purpose and Audience
Always know why you are writing-your purpose. Are you sharing information, arguing for or against
something, explaining a process? When you have a clear purpose, it is much easier to know what to
change in your writing. Also consider your readers-your audience. How much do they know about your
subject? How much do they need to know? How can you gain and hold their attention?
Escaping the "Badlands"
The later stage of revising is one of the most important in the whole composing process. Why? Because here you
can escape the "badlands" of writing-those stretches of uninspired ideas that can make a composition seem boring.
Use these questions as a guide to check for these "badlands."
Is your topic worn-out? An essay entitled "Lead Poisoning" sounds like a real yawner. With a new twist, you can
revive it: "Get the Lead Out!"
Is your approach stale? If you have been writing primarily to please a teacher or to get a good grade, start again. Try
writing to learn something or to trigger a particular emotion in your readers.
Is your voice predictable or fake? If it is ("A good time was had by all"), start again. This time, be honest. Be real.
Does your draft sound boring? Maybe it's boring because it pays an equal amount of attention to everything. Try
skimming through the less significant parts by "telling" what happened; then focus on the more important parts by
"showing" what happened.
Does your essay follow the "formula" too closely? For example, the "five-paragraph essay" provides you with an
organizing frame to build on. However, if a frame is followed too closely, it may get in the way. Read your draft
again, and if your inner voice says "formula," try something new.
I put these sections in here for a reason. See if you can figure it out!!!
Check for Depth (Level of Detail)
Let's say you are writing a technical essay explaining how the healing process works, and you realize that a
certain passage needs more support. To improve the passage, you add more details.
Original Passage (Too general—Remember, YOU don’t get to use “YOU” in a research paper.)
As soon as you receive a minor cut, the body's healing process begins to work. Blood from tiny vessels fills the
wound and begins to clot. In less than 24 hours, a scab forms.
Revised Version (More specific)
As soon as you receive a minor cut, the body's healing process begins to work. In a simple wound, the first and
second layers of skin are severed along with tiny blood vessels called capillaries. As these vessels bleed into the
wound, disklike structures called platelets help stop the bleeding by sticking to the edges of the cut and to one
another, forming a plug. The platelets then release chemicals that react with certain proteins in the blood to form a
clot. The blood clot, with its fiber network, begins to join the edges of the wound together. As the clot dries out, a
scab, forms, usually in less than 24 hours.
Check the Overall Focus
After reviewing your essay about teen magazines, you notice that your opening paragraph lacks a specific focus.
You revise the opening so that it builds to a specific thesis statement.
Opening Paragraph (Lacks focus or direction)
Teen magazines are popular with young girls. These magazines contain a lot of how-to articles about self-image,
fashion, and boy-girl relationships. Girls read these magazines for advice on how to act and how to look. There are
many popular magazines to choose from, and girls who don't really know what they want are the most eager readers.
Revised Version (Builds to a specific thesis statement)
Adolescent girls often see teen magazines as handbooks on how to be teenagers. These magazines influence the way
they act and the way they look. For girls who are unsure of themselves, these magazines can exert an enormous
amount of influence. Unfortunately, the advice these magazines give about self-image, fashion, and boys may do
more harm than good.
__________________________ 57
Check the Focus of Each Supporting Paragraph
Suppose you are developing an expository essay about paper recycling, and you discover that one of the paragraphs lacks
focus. You change it and narrow the discussion to just one aspect of paper recycling (the fact that it has become a big
business).
Original Paragraph (Not focused on one main point)
Paper recycling has indeed become big business. Since Americans throw away more paper than anything else, there is much to
be gained by recycling paper. For example, Fort Howard Corporation of Green Bay, Wisconsin, uses recycled paper to produce
bathroom tissue. Recycling equipment at this time cannot handle certain types of paper, including paper with staples, glossy
paper, envelopes, and so on. Five thousand community programs exist nationwide for the recycling of paper products.
Revised Version (One main point developed in detail)
Paper recycling has indeed become big business. Manufacturers use recycled paper to make cardboard, paper napkins,
printing paper, and toweling, as well as insulation and animal bedding. The demand for recycled products of all kinds is
increasing daily. To help meet the demand, U.S. papermakers have invested $10 billion in new recycling capacity in the
past 10 years. As a result, the use of recycled paper has grown more than four times faster than the overall growth in
paper consumption. Recycled paper now provides more than 37 percent of the raw material fiber used at U.S. mills. This
percentage should continue to grow well into the 21st century.
Check for Clarity and Completeness (This is not a research example, but you get the idea.)
Let's say a classmate has a few questions about a paragraph in your narrative. She doesn't know who Mary is or what
blue and pink dresses you are talking about. In your revision, you answer these questions.
Original Paragraph (Confusing ideas)
Mary and I played make-believe a lot. She was my constant companion in our long dresses or in our ballerina dresses. They
were blue and pink and also itchy. We wore them when we played house and a lot of other things, including riding our tricycles.
Revised Version (A clear, more unified paragraph)
My days of make-believe sometimes included my sister Mary, who was my constant companion. We played in long
dresses or dressed up in our ballerina dresses. Her ballerina dress was blue and mine was pink. They itched worse than
poison ivy, but we'd wear them for hours. We wore them when we played house and store and restaurant ... and even
when we rode our tricycles down the driveway.
Don’t forget to revise for organization and flow of ideas!
Revising Checklist
Use this checklist to revise your writing. Remember: When you revise, you improve the thoughts and
details that carry your message.
Q: Why do I need a Revising
Does my writing have a clear focus?
Checklist when I have the
Do I focus on an interesting part of my subject?
Do I express my feelings about the subject in a thesis statement?
Research Paper Yes Test on
Does my writing follow a clear method of organization?
page 54?
Do I use a method of organizing my ideas? (See page 24.)
Do I need to add any information?
A: Because the Yes Test
Do I need to make my opening clearer and more interesting?
determines whether you
Do I need to add details to support my thesis?
followed the directions for
Do I need to make my closing more effective?
formatting, not whether the
Do I need to cut any information?
content of your paper is good or
Do any of my details not belong?
not!
Do I repeat myself in parts?
Do I say too much about a certain idea?
Do I need to rewrite any parts?
Do some of my ideas sound unclear?
Do I need to reword any explanations?
Do I need to reorder any parts?
Do any ideas or details seem out of place?
Does the most important point come either near the beginning or near the end?
__________________________ 58
Now that you’ve revised for content, you can work on:
Editing and proofreading deal
with the line-by-line changes you
make to improve the readability
and accuracy of your writing. More
specifically, when you edit, you make
sure that the words and sentences in
your revised writing are clear and correct. When you proofread, you need to make sure that the final copy of
your writing is free of errors.
You're ready to edit, once you ...
complete your major revisions-adding, cutting, rewriting, or rearranging the ideas in
your writing;
make a clean copy of your revised writing
set your writing aside for a day or two (if time permits).
First, check for the style of your writing, and then check its accuracy, focusing on one
type of error at a time. Always edit on a printed copy.
Don’t try to edit directly on the computer! Don’t forget to make the changes in the computer, save
the changes, and print a good copy!
Remember: Have a reliable editor check your work as well.
You're too close to your writing to spot everything that needs to be changed.
THE BIG PICTURE: When you edit and proofread, pay extra-special attention to the following three traits of
effective writing: sentence style or smoothness; word choice; and correct, accurate copy.
Editing and Proofreading Checklist
Use this checklist as a guide when you edit and proofread your
writing. Remember: Edit your writing only after you have revised it.
Sentence Structure
Did I write clear and complete sentences?
Do my sentences flow smoothly?
Did I use sentences of different lengths and with a variety of beginnings?
Word Choice and Usage
Did I avoid redundancy and unnecessary repetition?
Did I use the correct word (like their, there, or they're)?
Did I use specific nouns, vivid verbs, and colorful modifiers?
Punctuation
Does each sentence have the correct end punctuation?
Did I use commas and apostrophes correctly?
Did I punctuate quotes correctly?
Capitalization
Did I start all of my sentences with capital letters?
Did I capitalize the proper names of people, places, things, and ideas?
Grammar
Do the subjects and verbs agree in all my sentences?
Do the pronouns agree with their antecedents?
Did I use the correct verb tenses?
Spelling
Did I check for spelling errors (including those the spell checker may have missed)?
________________________ 59
Research Paper Rubric
Attach this sheet to the front of your brown clasp envelope.
Otherwise, you will receive your grade on a Post-It note
(and without any helpful comments or justification of your grade.)
Your name goes in the blank in the upper right hand corner.
Content/Trait
Heading (name, class, date)
Effective Introduction
Thesis Statement
(Strong and Easily Identified)
Computer Requirements
Clarity
Organization (Follows Outline)
Points Possible
5
5
10
Points Earned
*
10
10
Effective Use of Quotes (at least 2 direct)
5
Effective Conclusion
Thesis Statement is Proven
10
10
Research
Works Cited Page
Parenthetical Documentation
Correct # Required Sources
10
10
5
Plagiarism
-100
4-6 pages
Grammar and Mechanics
**
10
Total Points
100
*Papers that are not typed will not be accepted.
**10 points will be deducted for each page under 4 or over 6.
Yes! I remembered to include:
my approved letter of intent
my STAPLED paper (outline, paper, works cited) containing MLA parenthetical
documentation and a Works Cited page
my notes (highlighted printouts, photocopies, etc.)
my notecards and sourcecards
my last name and page number on all the pages of my paper
this rubric (with my name on it, no less!)
YES, I REMEMBERED TO SUBMIT MY PAPER TO TURNITIN.COM!
________________________ 60
I think you need…
It might help you to look at pp. 31-32
(“Using Quotes Correctly”) and pp. 4042 (“MLA Documentation”).
Checking for Effective Sentence Style (And Content. And Grammar. And MLA doc.)
You are going to “rewrite” other students’ paragraphs. Some things to keep in mind before you start:
Always check for and correct the following types of sentence problems.
Short, Choppy Sentences Combine any short, choppy sentences.
Incorrect Sentences Check carefully for fragments, run-ons, and rambling sentences and correct them accordingly.
Unclear Sentences Rewrite any sentences that contain unclear wording, misplaced modifiers, dangling modifiers, or
incomplete comparisons.
Unacceptable Sentences Change any sentences that include nonstandard language, double negatives, or unparallel
construction.
Unnatural, Flowery Sentences Simplify any sentences that contain flowery language, deadwood, or cliches.
How can I tell if my sentences read smoothly?
Read your writing out loud, paying special attention to the flow of your ideas. Then have someone else read it
aloud as you listen carefully for anything that causes the reader to stumble. Edit your writing until all of your
sentences read smoothly.
YOU MIGHT NEED TO DO THE SAME FOR SOME OF THE PARAGRAPHS BELOW!
Please note: All mistakes are the authors’, not mine!
The topics for each paragraph are labeled in bold to help you.
**************************************************************************************
The introduction below is not perfect, but it is pretty darn good. Why?
Each year, more than 775,000 children 14 and under are treated in hospital emergency rooms for sports-related injuries
(“Youth Sports Injuries” 1). Children are blessed with the abilities and energy to play all day and not be affected by
anything. They also have the opportunity to learn how to stretch their limits and realize the value of sportsmanship and
discipline when they participate in sports and other recreational activities (“Youth Sports Injuries” 1). But when these
children have these opportunities to learn all that, they also have the opportunity to become injured because of their
participation in these activities. Being responsibly knowing of your body and how it operates can prevent these injuries.
Improper techniques in stretching, warming up and cooling down are the three main causes of youth sports injuries.
The following paragraphs are NOT perfect, although some are definitely better than others. They are here as
examples to help you avoid making the same mistakes in your own rough drafts/final papers. And above
all…don’t laugh at them, or you might find your paper in this packet next year☺
☺.
Directions: (Follow these for EACH section below.)
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
Read through each of the following paragraphs.
Underline the “important parts” of each paragraph.
Cross out any information that is not necessary.
Put a question mark beside anything that just doesn’t make sense.
Then we’ll discuss out loud.
For homework, you are going to REWRITE the appropriate number of paragraphs from each
section. You get to choose which ones you want to rewrite. You may add, delete, or change as much of
the original paragraph as necessary.
________________________ 61
INTRODUCTIONS (CHOOSE TWO!)
(Causes/Effects of ADD/ADHD)
Today was a really bad day for Nicole. Actually she seemed to be having a bad day everyday. Both Nicole’s Math and history
teacher had gotten onto her for disturbing and not paying attention in class. Nicole was having problems at home with her mom.
She wasn’t getting he chores done and she was talking back to her mom. She was wondering why everybody was being mean
and why they were mad at her. She told herself that she knew she had problems, but she thought that was normal. One day
Nicole had asked her mom to go see a doctor. The next day they went to a health clinic. The doctor had told Nicole and her mom
that she had the same symptoms for ADD/ADHD. In people with ADD/ADHD there were many imbalances of differences in the
chemicals used by the brain to control activity, attention, motor skills, and some other aspects of attention.
(Causes/Effects of WWII)
The causes and effects of World War II is still kind of a mystery to most of us and I’m here to find them out. WWII was
mainly fought because of what the Japanese did to Pearl Harbor. But the reason they did that was because the United States
cut off all shipping to and from them.
(Cause/Effect of the Death Penalty)
The death penalty is an effective tool to keep murderers and rapists off the streets in the United States. Its purpose is
meaningful, constitutional, and stands for justice. If America could use this method of execution as a statue to deter
other criminals, there would be less capital crimes and safer streets.
(Causes/Effects of Hip-Hop’s Influence on Teens)
Hip hop began in the 1970’s. It began with the beats at house parties on the streets of New York. I believe that this new genre of music was a
way for African-Americans and eventually rappers to express themselves or to tell what’s going on in their lives. Rap music is poetry of the
streets. As it became more and more common, it addressed things like racism, sex education, drug use, single-parent households and
violence. Nowadays, people are only drawn to talk about the negativity of rap; but to me, it is much more. Are the negative messages in music
affecting teens on the streets?
BODY PARAGRAPHS (CHOOSE TWO!)
(Causes/Effects of WWII)
The attack on Pearl Harbor was a turning block in U.S. history. It was the first time we had been attacked on American soil since
the American Revolution. At that point America no longer felt they were out of harms way. After the bombing of Pearl Harbor
Admiral Yamamoto had this to say “I feel we have only woken a sleeping giant” But not only did the Germans have
concentration camps we did to. Another effect of Pearl Harbor was that people oh the U.S. thought that Japanes people who had
been living here for hundred of years, generations by generations were spies. We did exactly like the Germans did to the Jewish
people put them in camps located in the United States and would not let the out. (War time line)
(Cause/Effect of the Death Penalty)
Capital Punishment has been one of the most debated issues because some believe that the procedure of killing convicted
criminals is morally wrong. The focus should be set upon the fact that out of the 38 states that enforce the death penalty, the
murder cases are statistically lower. Since 1994, the largest declines in murder statistics were present in states that were strong
supporters of the death penalty (Tucker 9). “The execution of each offender seems to save, on average, the lives of 8 potential
victims” (Tucker 9). Enforcement of capital punishment deters not increases murder. Of the 2, 575 prisoners sentenced to death
in 1999, 1 out of 11 had prior felony convections of homicide. If they were sentenced to death their second victims would
probably still be alive. Anti-death supporters argue that the death penalty is unconstitutional but yet during the Gregg vs. Georgia
case, the Supreme Court ruled that the death penalty was constitutional. (Martinez 1). Abolitionists believe that not killing the
criminals is morally more important than saving the life of the potential victim (Hagg 26). Americans should quit being
softheaded sentimentalists when it comes to punishing criminals so we can ensure our rising society with a safe future (Crowe 6).
(Problem/Solution on Beach Erosion)
About 15 percent of the Carolina coast is critically eroding and 18 percent of the shoreline is severely eroding, which is defined as areas that
are eroding at a rate greater than 4.5 feet per year. The Division of Coastal Management estimates that roughly 2 percent of the coast has no
dry sand at high tide. It is also estimated that about 240 miles, or 75 percent of the coast, is eroding with the balance of the coastline accreting.
“A storm surge of 5 to 8 feet, combined with 80 mile per hour and gust of 95, can reduce a significant bluff to a sandy clay beach.” (Riggs 2)
Just imagine what those same conditions can do to a beach that has no dry sand at high tide.
________________________ 62
CONCLUSION (CHOOSE ONE!)
(Problem/Solution on the Legalization of Marijuana)
In conclusion there are many different arguments for and against the Legalization of Marijuana and we have only touched
the surface of the different pros and cons. The pros would make it a great accomplishment in society to be able to legalize
marijuana, but the cons are what make it hard to make such a big accomplishment. The cons are also what make it a very
hard solution because it is already a giant problem in society already so something needs to be done. As George W. Bush Jr.
said on September 16, “Something must be done”.
(Causes/Effects of WWII)
In all I think my paper has covered all aspects of the war. Including some of the very things that we already know and
some of the stuff we would never have known unless I have told you in this paper
(Cause/Effects of the Death Penalty)
Rape, child molestation, murder, beatings etc…These are crimes that are brutal enough to punish with the death penalty. Is
America blind that these acts are being committed as though they were okay? There are so many heart-stopping stories of how
these barbarous criminals go out of their way to inflict as much pain on not only there victim(s) but the family and friends who
have to go through the grief of such hideous actions. Losing a loved one is not something you can just forget and get over. That
pain stabs you like a knife and reminds you everyday of how merciless some people can be. Executing a convicted criminal of a
felony in a manner that was more then likely a lot more humane then the way he killed his victim is hardly cruel. We must feel
like we have met some kind of retribution for their wrong and the death penalty is cure. We have to think about this and
remember that with every person executed saves 8 potential victims and maybe we could even be one of those potential victims.
SENTENCE COMBINING (CHOOSE ONE!)
(Compare/Contrast of Catholicism and Protestantism)
Now, for the second largest religion in the world, Catholicism, this religion is very similar to Protestantism, as stated in
the paragraph before. There are 62 million followers in the United States and 1 billion worldwide (Why So Many Gods
11). Catholics believe there is one God who created everything. He is omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent. They
have the same beliefs as Protestantism except that they believe you must also do good works to get into heaven. They
believe that Jesus was born of the sinless, virgin Mary. After Catholics die, they are sent to a holding place called
Purgatory. They wait in Purgatory for their family members and closest friends to pray them into heaven, if they are
biblically eligible. If not they go straight to the fiery pits of hell.
(Causes/Effects of ADD/ADHD)
Teachers may play a big role in teaching children with disorders and helping children with ADD/ADHD. “Never do today what you can put off til
tomorrow.” (Browne 3) Teachers have to make the child feel comfortable within the classroom procedures; work demands, self-esteem issues,
and frequent parent teacher contact can create a great deal. ADD may be a life-long assistance. Families and the children themselves need
our understanding and support. So if your child is diagnosing with ADD or ADHD help them find themselves by showing you care.
(Cause/Effect of Hip-Hop’s Influence on Teens)
The language of hip-hop has had an effect on our culture and the way we speak. With hip-hop came something known as street
slang. Street slang is words that originally had one meaning and then in came to mean something else. For example, “hoe” is a
garden tool but now we also hear “ho” as in a girl that sleeps around. When walking around local places, you hear all kinds of
profanity. Teen’s language has become so vulgar. Every other word coming out of some teens’ mouths is a bad word. When you
listen to rap songs that are unedited, you hear a ton of profanity; but if you listen to the edited version of the song on the radio,
you can miss a lot of the song because they are cut out. Now when you go to the store, compact discs come with warning labels.
ELABORATION (EVERYONE HAS TO DO THIS ONE
ONE!)
(Cause/Effect Alcohol Abuse)
Some people experience sudden mood swings. Drugs and alcohol can have many different effects on your actions, some
such as violence, vandalism, and unusual behavior. These mood swings can cause loss of friendship, and lowered social status.
________________________ 63
General Revising and Editing Skills (Choose two. You determine the subject of each.)
1.One of one hundred twenty-four players that played for duke and UNC that made is to the NBA, seventy-three players that
played for UNC made it to the NBA. Fifty-one players that played for Duke made it to the NBA. Two players that were from UNC
that made it to the NBA are Michael Jordan and Bob McAdoo. Both players were good enough to make it to the hall of fame.
Michael Jordan Made more winning game shots ever scored in the NBS. Many students and recruits will join UNC just because
of Michael Jordan’s effects on UNC’s. Bob McAdoo was another great basketball player that played for UNC and made it to the
NBA. Out of the fifty-one players that came from the NBA, Grant Hill now plays for the Phoenix Suns and his position is small
forward. In his first year in the NBA he earned the rookie of the year reward. Jack Marin was the fourth highest scoring from
Duke with 12,541 points. The similarities between the two teams are that they both had a bunch of players that made it to the
hall of fame and duke didn’t have any players that were good enough to make it to the hall of fame.
2.For most parents, there’s nothing more they love than to see their child’s smile. But keeping a child’s smile healthy requires
early training to get the child accustomed to good dental hygiene habits. It’s good to start teaching a child good hygiene skills
early (such as brushing and flossing), practicing a healthy diet, (such as avoiding sweets and sugary drinks), avoiding bad habits
(such as thumb sucking or nail biting) and take the child to the dentist to be better informed on how to take care of their teeth
properly. Informing the child of good dental habits early is important because it could prevent future complications, self esteem
and overall well being.
3.Does smoking cause you to not have friends when you smoke at a young age? The answer is yes, a lot of teens choose
to do drugs to fit in, but knowing that you don’t need to do drugs to be with cool friends, more than 3,000 teens who will
become regular smokers. There not so cool if they choose to do drugs, while trying to get an education. Smoking is not a
good thing to do, not having friends can make you feel happy when you’re sad, for an example when you’re feeling down,
and who do have beside your family to make you feel like no other. There is eighty times as likely to use marijuana and
twenty two more times to smoke cocaine. The friends you have when you smoke wouldn’t encourage you, as if a friend
who doesn’t smoke would, Friends are a key thing to life. “The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they
can grow separately without growing apart-unknown”
4. 37, 466,904 were killed, missing, wounded during World War One. During World War One there technology was not that advance, but had
made many advancements to the technology to make the battle a little more intense. The machine gun became a lot more popular in World
War One because everyone was using it. The British also used tanks and planes which they made in 1916. The Germans were pretty smart
they came out with the flamethrower and which later on they used them in the war. Tanks, machine guns, flamethrowers, and planes were all
technological advancements they used in World War On. (technologyofwwI.com)
Tanks back then weren’t as great as today’s tanks. They were not very big and very weak. The reason from this type of machine was to cover
large amounts of land, mostly to destroy things and kill people. The lack of soldiers, buildings, and any other environmental things were
caused by tanks everything then tank touch got messed up they were small but could still bring down homes, buildings, trenches, enemies
base, other tanks, and other big land weapons like cannons. The Sturmpanzerwagan A7V of Germany probably was the biggest thank. It held
about 18 people, weighted about 74,000lbs, and 26 feet long 10.5 feet wide. It was roughly 10 foot 10 inches high, had a range of 25 miles.
The armor wasn’t very good it was from .39-1.18 of an inch thick, it had 2 x 100hp engines and could barely push 10 miles per hour. Unlike the
Austin-Putilov-Russia and England it was fairly small. It held 5 people and weighed about 11,440lbs. it was 16 foot long, 6’4.75 wide and about
10.5 foot tall. It had a range of 125 miles, and since it was smaller than the other tanks even though it had a 50hp engine it got up to speeds
around 31-35 miles per hours. (tanksusedduingwwI.com)
Now that you’ve had a good laugh off of some of these…look at your paper. If it sounds like the BAD ones in this
section, you need to try the following strategies to add variety to your sentences:
In one column on a piece of paper, list the opening words in each of your sentences. Then decide if
you need to vary some of your sentence beginnings.
In another column, list the verbs in each sentence. Then decide if you need to replace any overused
"be" verbs (is, are, was, were) with more vivid ones (snap, stare, stir).
In a third column, identify the number of words in each sentence. Then decide if you need to change
the length of some of your sentences.
________________________ 64
Sophomore Portfolio Checklist & Rubric
Directions: Use this checklist to keep track of your progress!
Remember, the purpose of the portfolio is to attractively and creatively showcase
ALL aspects/phases of your project!
Materials Needed:
3 Ring Binder (probably ½ to 1 inch)
Computer Paper
All phases of your research…except thesis and notecards
Self-Reflection (see page 66 for ideas)
Page Protectors
Anything else you deem creatively necessary!
Put the following items in the portfolio in this order!
Cover Page (include: name, date, English 2, teacher’s name, your topic, & some sort of art)
Table of Contents (do this last) & accurate page numbering
Research Letter of Intent
Research Outline
Research Paper (Final Draft) (put pages in separate sheet protectors)
Research Works Cited
Printouts of your Power Point presentation (handouts format, please)
Self-Reflection (at least 1 page typed about what you learned from the research project…isn’t
necessarily limited to content….) See page 66 for ideas!
FYI—Here is the rubric I use to grade your portfolios! Put this sheet in your binder!
Task/Trait
1. Cover Page
2. Table of Contents (and correct numbering)
3. Research Letter of Intent
4. Outline
5. Research Paper
6. Works Cited
7. Power Point (outline format—not slides☺
☺)
8. Reflection
9. Neatness/Creativity
Total
Possible Points
10
5
5
5
5
10
20
20
20
Points Earned
100
Teacher Comments:
Date Due: _________________________
________________________ 65
Power Point Requirements Directions, Checklist,
Checklist & Rubric
The objective: Your Power Point should p
provide
rovide an outline for your speech.
It should give me a brief summary of your resear
research
ch AND SHOULD FOLLOW THE APPROVED
OUTLINE FOR YOUR PAPER. If you did not get an outline approved, or if you did not follow the outline
that was approved for your paper, YOU NEED TO SEE ME BEFORE YOU CAN CONTINUE.
If you
u do not know how to do a PowerPoint, please ask me (or another student).
It should also contain some self-reflection
reflection about what you learned from the research process ((NOT
NOT JUST CONTENT).
(See page 66 for ideas.)
It should be 8--10 slides in length*.
10 slides, I must approve it to make sure that you are not going to go over or
If you are going to have more or less than 88-10
under your allotted time.
YOU DON’T GET A GRADE UNTIL YOU DO THESE THINGS:
1. Attach a paper HANDOUTS copy of your Power Point to the back of this sheet!
2. Give both to me.
3. Present!
Things to REMEMBER:
Don’t overload each slide with information! (No paragraphs!)
Don’t forget to proofread!
Don’t put busy backgrounds or crazy (illegible) fonts!
Don’t have just words on a slide (and not have any pictures!)
Don’t make the fonts too small!
Just because you CAN do something on Powerpoint, doesn’t mean that you SHOULD do it!
(ex: irritating animations, sound effects, etc.)
Use the checklist/outline below to create and organize your Power Point:
(You may even want to use these titles as your slide titles. Remember, FOLLOW YOUR APPROVED OUTLINE!!!)
OUTLINE!!!
Title Slide—include
include your name, your topic, and some sort of artwork
Introduction
Background Information—define
define any term
terms, etc.
Causes/Problems/Comparison Item 1
Effects/Solutions/Comparison
/Comparison Item 2
Self-Reflection (see page 66)
Conclusion
Trait
1. Introduction
2. Background Information
3. Causes/Problems
4. Effects/Solutions
5. Self-Reflection
6. Conclusion
7. Layout
8. Neatness/Creativity
9. Grammar, Spelling, etc.
Points Possible
10
5
10
10
10
10
20
20
5
Points Total
Additional Comments:
100
Points Earned
________________________ 66
Research Self-Reflection/Self-Evaluation Questions
You may use these questions to write your self-reflection, or you may use your own questions/ideas.
Be sure to write in complete sentences (not necessarily complete paragraphs, although you certainly can!)
You can type the questions in bold, and then answer them underneath in regular font.
OR You can answer the questions in paragraphs, essay-style, in whatever order you choose.
You do not have to answer every single question…however, your self-reflection should be at least one page
typed, double-spaced, 10 or 12 Times New Roman font.
Narrowing the Topic:
Did you choose your topic thoughtfully or in a hurry? Explain. Are you satisfied with your
topic choice?
Locating Sources
How well did you research your topic? Did you use a wide variety of sources? Did you use
all of the sources that were available to you?
Problems
What problems arose during your research project? How did you solve them? Explain.
Time Management
How would you describe your time management skills prior to the completion of the
sophomore project? Have your time management skills changed as a result of successful
completion of the sophomore project? Explain.
Overall Evaluation:
If you could go back and do anything (or things) about the project differently, what would
you do and why?
If you had to offer any advice to future sophomores about the project, what would it be and
why? (And no, you cannot tell them to move somewhere else where they don’t have to do
sophomore projects).
What three adjectives (yes, that’s describing words) would you use to describe you and/or
your research process? Explain.
Did you experience a learning stretch? If so, in what way(s)? Explain.
________________________ 67
Introduction Tips
If your outline is correct, your speech will
largely follow the outline for your paper.
You will need to add a self-reflection &
be prepared to answer impromptu questions.
Hook your audience! (The first 30
seconds of a speech is the most
important!)
Use a Quote
“Men are born to succeed, not to fail.”
Henry David Thoreau
Content
Begin with Humor
Lighten the mood if your topic calls for
it!
Ask a rhetorical question
Questions should provoke a thought
directed toward your topic.
Did you love to go on roller coasters
when you were younger?
Begin with facts
People remember 90% of what they
teach to someone else. They only
remember 10% of what is lectured to
them.
Use an anecdote
(Short accounts of interesting or
Humorous—if appropriate-- events—
fiction or REAL)
•
5-7 minutes
•
Effective Introduction
•
Clearly Stated Purpose
•
3-5 Main Points
•
Organization
•
Effective Conclusion
BODY OF THE SPEECH
Deductive vs. Inductive—
Deductive—Lets the audience know up front what your topic is and where you stand
Inductive—Builds up to your topic and opinion
Cause and Effect—
What events led up to the current situation?
Increasing levels of pollution have led to an increase in acid rain.
Chronological Order—
Just like it sounds—1,2 ,3 in order!
As a sophomore, dressing up is extra
credit. If you are not sure exactly what
constitutes “dressed up,” see the next
page and /or ask me.
Transitions—
Lead the audience from one topic/point to another SMOOTHLY
See rubric (p. 69) for a more complete list…
•
Eye Contact (Don’t stare at me…or at your paper!)
•
Voice, Volume, Rate
(Don’t talk too loudly, too softly, too quickly, or too slowly!
•
Note Cards
(Use them to help you remember—don’t read directly from them!)
•
Stalling (No ums….wells…etc.)
•
Word Choice (How’s your vocabulary?)
________________________ 68
•
•
•
•
A Visual (Yes, you need one!)
Don’t read from it—Powerpoint is for us!
Don’t overload each slide! USE PHRASES!
Beginning with: “my name is Dave and I did my project on…” DOES NOT COUNT AS AN
ATTENTIONATTENTION-GRABBING OPENING!)
Conclusion Tips!
Conclusion
•
•
•
We should know that you are finished!
Summarize!
Leave Us Thinking!
•
Sum it up and send ‘em
thinking!
•
If you began with a
question, ask it again and
give the answer.
If you gave a startling fact
or stat, end with suggestions
on how to alter those stats.
Go out with optimism!
Close with a question.
•
•
•
•
Leave the audience with
positive memories of your
speech.
Suggestions for Professional Dress
Males
Dress Pants w/ Appropriate Belt
Dress Jacket/Sport Coat (optional)
Button down shirt w/ collar and tie
Shirts should be tucked in
A tasteful tie that coordinates w/ dress shirt & pants
Dress shoes (no athletic shoes or flip flops)
Minimal and tasteful jewelry and accessories
If in doubt, ask me!
Females
Dress
Suit, Dress pants or skirt w/ appropriate blouse
Do NOT wear TIGHT or SHORT clothing
Blouses should coordinate w/ suit, skirt, or dress
pants, be long enough to cover your midriff and not
show any cleavage
Wear appropriate undergarments (they should not
show)
Dress shoes (no flipflops) (Be careful of sandals.)
Minimal and tasteful jewelry and accessories
If in doubt, ask me!
________________________ 69
You must turn in this sheet with your name on it BEFORE YOU PRESENT!
DON’T FORGET—I ALSO NEED YOUR POWERPOINT RUBRIC (p. 65)!
Speech Rubric
1—Highly Competent
2—Competent
3—Developing
4—Not Evident
Time Started: ______________ Time Stopped: __________________
Trait
Content
Effective AttentionGrabber
Clearly Stated Purpose
1 (A)
2 (B/C)
3 (D/F)
4 (F)
10
8
7
6 or less
10
8
7
7 or less
Organization
10
9
8
8 or less
Word Choice
10
9
8
7 or less
Delivery
Eye Contact
10
8
7
6 or less
Voice—Volume, Rate
10
9
8
6 or less
Smooth
Delivery
10
8
7
7 or less
Gestures & Composure
Energy, Enthusiasm,
Personalization
Conclusion
5
5
3
4
2
2
0
0
10
8
7
6 or less
5
5
100
4
4
82
3
66
0
2 or less
55 OR LESS
+7
+5
+3
Correct Time
Impromptu Q & A
Total
Extra Credit for
Professional Dress
Your Total
Comments: