08_THS_CH08(150-169).qxp
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CHAPTER
passionate love a wildly powerful emotion
that is experienced as intense longing for
the selected love object, along with
profound sexual arousal and confused
feelings 162
08
Summary
WHAT ARE THE INTERPERSONAL
ATTRACTION THEORIES? 152
• Evolutionary theory proposes that we choose
•
•
• Both heterosexual and homosexual couples use similar dating
scripts to help guide their decisions and behaviors during romantic
socialization.
mates based on the probability of reproductive
success. Males inherently seek a large quantity of
sexual partners to pass on their genes, while women
prefer to be more selective due to the strain of childbearing.
Social exchange theory suggests that individuals are motivated by
self-interest to make the most out of the resources they possess.
In relationships, people act in ways that maximize the benefits and
minimize the costs.
The filter theory of mate selection claims that we each use variables such as propinquity and heterogamy to select potential
mates from the pool of eligible candidates.
•
•
are used to steer a couple toward the commitment
of marriage. The decision to wed is not taken lightly
and is usually decided by the entire family. In more
Western societies, dating is used in place of courtship. Dating is
more recreational and not necessarily seen as leading to marriage.
relational transgressions hurtful words or
actions that communicate a devaluation of the
partner or the relationship and include deceit,
styles exist: eros, ludus, manic, storge, pragma, and
agape. Another theory focuses on passionate and
companionate love; passionate love is based on
sexual arousal and physical attraction to a partner,
while companionate love stems from deep feelings
of attachment and friendship.
Breakups usually result from relational transgressions, and can lead
to distress or protest reactions.
Research of sexual relations has shown that higher levels of love
between partners lead to increased sexual pleasure and variety.
Men are more likely than women to have sex purely for pleasure
and to initiate it early on in a relationship. While men tend to
experience and express romantic feelings before women do, a
majority also claim that they profess false feelings of love to initiate
physical relations.
Key Terms
MULTIPLE CHOICE
1. Choosing mates based on reproductive purposes is the foundation
of which interpersonal attraction theory?
a. Social exchange theory
b. Filter theory of mate selection
c. Evolutionary theory
d. None of the above
2. Courtship includes:
a. Family involvement
b. One-on-one premarital relationships
c. Dating without the intention of marrying
d. All of the above
sexual selection process in which members
of one sex compete among themselves for
opportunities to mate when the pool of potential mating candidates is limited; the “winners”
out-reproduce the other competitors and
natural selection occurs 152
cost a debit that increases the likelihood or
probability that a person will not take part in a
given behavior 154
filter theory of mate selection theory that
suggests that when looking for mates, we use
a filtering mechanism that helps us sort out
a potential mate from the vast pool of
candidates 154
pool of candidates potential array of eligible
partners 154
155
dating scripts internalized guidelines, or a
“how-to” manual for social behavior 157
cyberstalking the use of information technology (such as the Internet or cell phones) to
harass others 160
eros a type of sensual or sexual love
161
erotic lovers passionate and romantic lovers
who seek passionately expressive lovers 161
ludic lovers playful, flirtatious, carefree, and
casual lovers who don’t care as much about
commitment as they do about playing the sport
or the game of love 162
storge friendship love, or a type of affectionate
love between companions 162
fertility cues traits associated with successful
fertility, such as full breasts, small waist, and
curvy hips 152
courting and courtship the practices that are
socially prescribed forms of conduct that guide
men and women toward matrimony 156
storgic lovers lovers who typically come to
love each other over time (compared to erotic
lovers) 162
protector/provider cues cues that indicate
that a man will be a good protector/provider,
such as intelligence, physical strength, industriousness, and ambition 152
dating an occasion in which people get
together socially for any number of reasons,
such as “hanging out,” pursuing a relationship
to determine whether the partner is a potential
partner for a lifelong relationship, or getting
together sexually with no strings attached 156
manic lovers lovers who exhibit jealousy, envy,
protectiveness, and exclusivity 162
script theory each of us uses scripts that
help us organize the information in our
environments 157
agape love a selfless, enduring, othercentered type of love 162
social exchange theory theory that centers
on the exchange of people’s resources and
asserts that individuals are thought to act out of
self-interest to make the most of the resources
they possess 154
4. False victimization in cyberstalking is when:
a. The cyberstalker claims the victim has harmed the stalker or his
or her family.
b. The cyberstalker tracks the victim’s IP address in an attempt to
gain more information.
c. The cyberstalker attempts to damage the reputation of the
victim.
d. The cyberstalker sends a virus to the victim’s computer.
7. According to Sternberg, commitment and intimacy comprise which
type of love?
a. Companionate love
b. Empty love
c. Passionate love
d. Consummate love
8. Which of the following can be considered a relational transgression?
a. Criticism
b. Deceit
c. Blaming
d. All of the above
SHORT RESPONSE
1. Which interpersonal attraction theory do you feel best describes the
way you have selected your mates thus far? Why?
2. How much influence have your parents had over whom you date
and for what purposes? If you were to have children, how much
influence would you want to have?
3. Using Sternberg’s classifications of love, which types have you
experienced?
4. Have you ever agreed to meet someone you met over the Internet in
person? How do you prefer to find potential partners?
5. Explain the difference between courtship and dating.
5. Which neurochemical is NOT one of the ones that mimics amphetamines when two people are attracted to one another?
a. Dopamine
b. Testosterone
c. Phenylethylamine
d. Norepinephrine
pragma a love in which the costs and
benefits associated are carefully weighed
and considered before entering into a
relationship 162
Answers: 1. c; 2. a; 3. d; 4. a; 5. b; 6. b; 7. a; 8. d
rewards benefits, such as payback or
compensations, that are exchanged in social
relationships 154
following in common with heterosexual women?
a. Emotional intimacy is a valued aspect when dating.
b. First dates feature deep levels of self-disclosure and emotional
sharing.
c. A close friendship is likely to be established before dating begins.
d. They tend to emphasize personality traits in their partners over
sexual attraction.
6. Storge love is:
a. Passionate and sexual love
b. Friendship and affectionate love
c. Flirtatious and casual love
d. Frenzied and chaotic love
Remember to check www.thethinkspot.com for additional
information, downloadable flashcards, and other helpful resources.
The Path to Commitment: Attraction, Dating, and the Experiences of Love
natural selection theory that nature selects
the best-adapted varieties of species to survive
and reproduce 152
pair bonds couples
protest reactions behaviors and feelings that
attempt to reestablish the relationship, such
as trying to re-involve the ex-partner in sexual
relations 166
Sample Test Questions
3. Regarding dating scripts, homosexual women have which of the
evolutionary theory theory that human beings
choose mates for the sole purpose of maximizing and enhancing our reproductive efforts,
ensuring reproductive success and the success
of the species and society 152
distress reactions breakup reactions that
include physical and emotional pain, loss of
interest in sex, and guilt 166
169
168
stalking the obsessive following, observing, or
contacting of another person, or the obsessive
attempt to engage in any of these activities 165
unfaithfulness, criticism, blaming, and betrayals
of self-disclosure 165
WHAT IS LOVE, ACTUALLY? 161
• According to John Alan Lee, six different love
WHAT MAKES UP THE PATH TO
COMMITMENT? 155
• In some societies, traditional courtship practices
Chapter 08
companionate love deep, tender, mature,
affectionate attachment bonds shared
between two people that may or may not
include feelings of physical arousal 163
jealousy an emotional reaction to the perception that a valued relationship is endangered
and may be taken over by a rival 164