the blackstone sessions
EP. 101 “Grace’s Surprise”
by
John Walsh
900 Bush St. Ste. 411
San Francisco, CA 94109
415-505-2589
john@ironcreative.com
www.ironcreative.com/johnwalshtv
ACT ONE
FADE IN:
BLACK SCREEN.
GRACE (O.S.)
Well, here we are. Can’t say I’m too
surprised. Cancer. It’s almost never good
news. And when they catch it late...
We fade up on...
INT. ATTORNEY DON JASPER’S OFFICE -- AFTERNOON (DAY 1)
We pan across the extended Blackstone family. A bearded and
jaded CARL BLACKSTONE (66) attempts to stifle his tears, but
periodic sobs escape him. LAURA MILLS BLACKSTONE (29) is
crying. DIANE MILLS (64) is crying. BOBBY BLACKSTONE (27) is
crying. JACKSON BLACKSTONE (31) is NOT crying. They’re
watching a video of GRACE BLACKSTONE (65) in a hospital bed.
GRACE
Anyway I asked Don to play this a few
weeks after the funeral, so my rotting
corpse wouldn’t be so fresh in your
minds.
Everyone looks over at DON JASPER (46), family attorney.
GRACE
I wanted to share some thoughts with you
all. When I look back, I remember a lot
of great things. Bringing you boys home
from the hospital, your first days of
school, Jackson and Laura’s wedding
and...well, fact is, that’s BS.
Everyone looks surprised.
GRACE
Majority of the time we’re a mess. I
mean...where do I start? Bobby, we’ve
said so many hurtful things over the
years ‘cause you were different, and then
when you told us you were...you know...
You may be living a life of sodomy and
sin, but I love you and so does your
father - even if he won’t say it.
Bobby looks touched. Carl suppresses more sobbing and shifts
in his seat, uncomfortably.
2.
GRACE
Carl, you haven’t spoken to Bobby
year! Let it go you old-fashioned
And Jackson, you’re as screwed up
rest of us - whether you admit it
for a
idiot.
as the
or not.
Jackson rolls his eyes.
GRACE
Anyway, point is, I prepared a little
surprise a few years back, for when I
checked out. It’s an insurance policy for
a half million dollars.
Carl looks up, through his on-going tears.
GRACE
But recently I made an adjustment to the
policy. I converted it to “therapy
dollars.” That is to say the policy funds
have been legally allocated for nothing
but therapy. For all of you.
Shocked expressions all around.
GRACE
Laura, Diane, I’ve always thought you
went overboard with the tree-hugging...
Laura and Diane smile, sadly.
GRACE
...but you’re always saying how much
you’ve gotten out of therapy. So I want
you two to pick the shrink. Okay, well, I
love you all, and I hope to see you in
the afterlife – even though I’ve never
put much stock in that crap.
Don turns off the TV. Everyone sits in silence for a moment.
CARL
(falling apart)
Aohhh! Damn it, Gracie.
JACKSON
Therapy dollars.
BOBBY
Why didn’t she just make it root canal
dollars?
3.
LAURA
Hey. This is a good idea.
DIANE
Good? It’s great! We’ll finally address
the issues interfering with our love for
one another.
CARL
(through his tears)
Shut up, hippy.
DIANE
After you, Neanderthal!
OPENING CREDIT SEQUENCE
4.
ACT ONE
INT. LOBBY OF DON’S OFFICE -- MOMENTS LATER (DAY 1)
The family filters out. Jackson, Laura and Diane gather.
LAURA
(to Jackson)
Sweetie?
Yeah?
JACKSON
LAURA
Are you...are you okay?
Sure. Why?
JACKSON
LAURA
Well, you haven’t really grieved or
mourned or...
JACKSON
You mean cried.
LAURA
Well...yeah.
JACKSON
Honey, I told you: my dad used to say
crying was for sissies. And I know it’s
silly, but it just stuck.
LAURA
Jackson, look at your father.
Jackson looks over at Carl, who is SOBBING at ridiculous
volume. Don stands with him, helpless.
CARL
Aoooaaaaoohhhh!
JACKSON
(shaking his head)
Sissy.
Bobby approaches, still crying.
BOBBY
Talking about me?
5.
No. Dad.
Oh, right.
JACKSON
BOBBY
They both look over, as Carl lets out another GROAN of agony.
CARL
Aoooaaaaoohhhh!
BOBBY
(through his own tears)
Can you believe the sob-show macho man is
putting on?
He tries to wipe the tears from his eyes.
BOBBY
Just disgusting.
JACKSON
Yeah. Disgusting.
They continue to speak, over Carl’s cow-like VOCALIZATIONS.
DIANE
(to Bobby and Jackson)
You two. Your heart Shakras really need
attention. A few sessions with Foukra-LAURA
Mom, we’re not using Foukra.
DIANE
Dear, I think Grace wanted us to choose a
therapist together. And Foukra is-LAURA
He’s a Shaman, mom. Not a therapist.
DIANE
Oh, I suppose we’ll use your therapist?
Look at me, I’m Doctor Caruthers. I’m so
great. I have a PHd and I don’t
acknowledge the spirit world.
LAURA
We’re not using Doctor Caruthers either.
We’ll find the person who knows the best
way to treat a family like ours.
6.
BOBBY
Electroshock here we come. Thanks, mom.
LAURA
Bobby, she did this for your own good.
JACKSON
No. She did it ‘cause she’s dead and SHE
won’t have to talk to the damn shrink.
BOBBY
Yeah. Crazy cow’s putting it to us from
the grave. God rest her soul.
LAURA
(shaking her head in shock)
How can you people not know you need
therapy?
DIANE
Or a Shakra alignment ritual. We haven’t
made a final decision.
Laura shoots Diane an annoyed look.
INT. THERAPIST’S OFFICE -- SOME TIME IN THE FUTURE
Jackson is seated on a couch, in front of a camera. We don’t
see the THERAPIST, but we hear his voice.
THERAPIST
Do you mind if we record this?
JACKSON
No. Unless...you’re not some kind of
pervert, are you?
No.
THERAPIST
JACKSON
Wouldn’t surprise me. No offense, but I
hate therapists. Selling hope to people
too weak to handle their own problems.
You make me sick. But like I said, no
offense.
CUT TO:
INT. LOBBY OF DON’S OFFICE -- THE PRESENT (DAY 1)
Jackson, et al are where they were.
7.
BOBBY
You know, who is mom to be pointing the
crazy finger at all of us? She’s the one
who brought an exorcist to my apartment
the day after I came out to her.
LAURA
Bobby, again, in her own way, she was
trying to help you.
BOBBY
She did. Exorcist was gay. And my type.
JACKSON
Oh yeah - that was the guy that kept
dousing you with holy water after you...
BOBBY
Yeah. Total freak. I should call him.
ACROSS THE ROOM, Carl lets out another GROAN of agony.
CARL
Aaaoooaahhhhh!
DON
Carl, I’m so sorry.
CARL
For what? Your wife dead?
DON
Uh...no, ICARL
Then shove off, dumbass.
Don gives Carl a hesitant, consoling pat. Then at a loss,
backs away into his office.
CUT TO:
INT. THERAPIST’S OFFICE -- SOME TIME IN THE FUTURE
Carl is on the couch.
THERAPIST
So you put up all your assets to pay for
experimental treatments for Grace?
CARL
Yeah-surprise policy woulda come in handy
if it wasn’t in head shrinker money.
8.
THERAPIST
Did you tell her?
CARL
Nah. Didn’t wanna be a baby about it.
THERAPIST
And do you think your state of mind at
the lawyer’s office was a reaction to the
pressure you were under?
CARL
It was a reaction to Gracie dropping dead
from brain cancer, jackass! But...I guess
losing the house didn’t help.
THERAPIST
And had you figured out where you’d live?
CARL
I was looking for a time to talk to
Jackson. Gracie’s always...taken care of
me and I...well, it was Jackson’s place
or a home, where I’d...just wait to die.
THERAPIST
And what about Bobby?
CARL
Ha! You mean Captain Limp Wrist?
THERAPIST
Sounds like it bothers you that he’s
not...conventionally masculine.
CARL
Just want my boys to be real men. Like
me.
CUT TO:
INT. LOBBY OF DON JASPER’S OFFICE -- THE PRESENT (DAY 1)
Carl is still standing by himself, MUELING in agony.
CARL
Aooaaaooohhhhh!
ACROSS THE ROOM, the rest of the family looks on, as if
observing an animal at the zoo.
BOBBY
Well, I’m gonna take off.
9.
JACKSON
Yeah, we’re gonna head out too.
LAURA
Are you guys kidding?
They give her a “What?” look.
LAURA
What about your father?
BOBBY
What about him?
Yeah?
JACKSON
LAURA
Look at him. And now he’s gonna go and
sit at home alone?
Jackson and Bobby stare back: “So?”
LAURA
I’m asking him to stay with us.
DIANE
Honey, let’s not be rash.
LAURA
What? Mom, look at him. He’s miserable!
DIANE
In fairness, he’s always miserable.
LAURA
Mother, I understand you and Carl don’t
get along, but he needs our support.
DIANE
Laura, you know I think all living things
are sacred. It’s just, he’s an exception.
BOBBY
I have to agree. He’s not sacred at all.
LAURA
You should be ashamed of yourselves. I’m
asking him to stay with us.
JACKSON
Wait a minute. Why us? Why not Bobby?
10.
BOBBY
You’ve got a three bedroom house, and you
think our father who shares his feelings
about gays with Hitler and the KKK should
come stay in my studio apartment?
JACKSON
Don’t exaggerate. You’ve got a one
bedroom.
Bobby shakes his head at Jackson.
BOBBY
(bitter)
You know, it could be Birmingham Palace,
he still wouldn’t set foot in there.
Carl approaches, uncomfortably, wiping his eyes.
INT. THERAPIST’S OFFICE -- SOME TIME IN THE FUTURE
Carl is on the couch.
CARL
Seemed as good a time as any to ask
Jackson about me moving in.
CUT TO:
INT. THERAPIST’S OFFICE -- SOME TIME IN THE FUTURE
Jackson is on the couch.
JACKSON
I can take an hour with my dad. Well,
five minutes. Five minutes, for sure. But
Laura inviting him over for A FEW DAYS?
I’d rather kill myself – with a rusty
spoon. I mean...in many ways, I’m just
like him. And I don’t like to be reminded
of it. He’s like my shadowy reflection.
My shadowy, bigoted, macho, male
chauvinist pig reflection. With a beard.
CUT TO:
INT. LOBBY OF DON JASPER’S OFFICE -- PRESENT (DAY 1)
Everyone is where we left them.
CARL
(working up his courage)
Jackson, this is hard...but...well...
11.
LAURA
Carl, we’ve been talking, and we’d like
you to stay with us a while.
Jackson sighs.
CARL
(half-assed)
Oh? Oh, I don’t know...you’ve got your
hands full with one geriatric case...
(fishing)
You don’t really want two, do you?
DIANE
I am NOT a ‘geriatric case.’
CARL
Oh, look in a mirror, Leather Face.
Barbarian!
Slut!
DIANE
CARL
LAURA
(jumping in)
Carl! At a time like this, I can’t bear
to think of you by yourself.
CARL
Well...if it’d make you more comfortable.
LAURA
(humoring him)
It really would.
BOBBY
Okay. Well, I’m gonna get going.
Bobby hugs everyone, but stops indecisively in front of Carl.
CARL
Hand shake’ll do, Mary Poppins.
BOBBY
(shaking hands unemotionally)
Ah, you’re talking to me again.
And...calling me Mary Poppins again.
Awesome.
12.
Bobby exits. Everyone else follows.
CUT TO:
INT. THERAPIST’S OFFICE -- SOME TIME IN THE FUTURE
Bobby is on the couch.
BOBBY
When your father showers you with hateful
barbs your whole life, you learn to deal
with it. I deal with it by picturing him
with an axe in his chest.
INT. JACKSON AND LAURA’S LIVING ROOM -- EVENING (DAY 1)
Jackson, and Carl enter. Carl is dragging three bags.
JACKSON
Dad, come on. Let me help you.
CARL
What’s that s’pose to mean?
JACKSON
Uh...I’d like to help you?
CARL
You can carry my bags when I develop a
menstrual cycle.
JACKSON
Okay. Well, keep me posted on that.
Carl proceeds slowly upstairs as Laura and Diane enter.
DIANE
All I’m saying is someone like Foukra
could uncover things others might miss.
LAURA
Mother, this family needs psychotherapy,
not a guy that communes with the dead.
DIANE
He does NOT commune with the dead.
Beat.
DIANE
He channels them. It’s much harder.
13.
LAURA
Oh, bull! He’s a fake. A big fake faker.
DIANE
You just can’t open your mind to new
things, can you?
I can too!
LAURA
JACKSON
Look, you should forget this whole thing.
That’s what I’m gonna do.
LAURA
Forget your mother’s last request?
Wouldn’t you feel a LITTLE guilty?
Eh.
JACKSON
(shrugging)
LAURA
I married a cyborg.
DIANE
You know - you’ve never valued my
opinions.
LAURA
Oh God. Do you know why I’m a consultant
for PETA? And the EPA? Why I spend every
day working for reform? Huh?
Diane looks away.
LAURA
Because of you, you left-wing whack job!
DIANE
(re-engaging)
You call that working for reform?
LAURA
What do you call it?
DIANE
Going to an office and typing. AKA,
playing into the hands of The Man.
LAURA
So I can’t have a career?
14.
DIANE
Sure. And you can clear cut a rain forest
and cram a baby cow into a crate the size
of a shoe box. If that’s your thing.
LAURA
Oh! I make a difference in MY WAY, mom.
And when dad left you and you moved in
here, you said you’d stop criticizing me.
DIANE
Well would it kill you to chain yourself
to a Redwood in front of a bulldozer once
in a while?
LAURA
It might, mother!
They steam silently. Jackson shakes his head at Laura.
JACKSON
Kids today. All shortcuts and cop-outs.
INT. JACKSON AND LAURA’S BEDROOM -- LATER (DAY 1)
Laura is in bed. Jackson climbs in and gets situated. After a
moment, he feels her staring at him. He looks over.
LAURA
So. How are you feeling? Anything you
want to talk about?
JACKSON
No. I’m good. Thanks.
LAURA
Are you sure?
JACKSON
Oh come on. Honey, why are you always
trying to get me to...feel stuff?
LAURA
Why are you always repressing stuff? You
really do need therapy.
JACKSON
I don’t need it, and I’m not getting it.
Look, you know feelings aren’t my thing.
I mean, I don’t ask you to...club baby
seals. Why? Because I know it’s not your
thing.
15.
LAURA
So me asking you to express your feelings
over your mother’s passing is the same as
you asking me to club something to death?
JACKSON
Not EXACTLY. Just roughly.
LAURA
Oh, okay. Now it doesn’t sound crazy.
JACKSON
Look, I have to worry about your
feelings, your mother’s feelings, my
brother’s feelings...the last thing I
need is to have my own.
LAURA
So you just shut your emotions out
because they’re inconvenient?
JACKSON
Sure. Besides - you don’t really want me
to cry anyway. You women. You’re always
like “Why can’t men be sensitive and
cry?” Then, when we do cry, you’re like
“Oh, my God. Can I get you a tissue?
Or...a dress?” It’s a trap - a trap to
make men show weakness, so you can be all
“I am woman, hear me roar.”
LAURA
Wow. I was wrong about you needing a
therapist. You need a TEAM of therapists.
He shrugs and turns out the lights.
END OF ACT ONE
16.
ACT TWO
FADE IN:
INT. JACKSON’S AND LAURA’S LIVING ROOM -- AFTERNOON (DAY 2)
Carl is sitting, watching TV. Bobby enters, with two pizzas.
CARL
What are you doing here?
BOBBY
Laura asked me to pick up pizza.
He holds up the box, which pictures a jolly old woman and the
pizza parlor name: “Mama’s Pizza.”
BOBBY
I got Mama’s. I think we’re all having
lunch together, because we’re a regular,
happy, healthy family.
CARL
Ha. Funny, Tinkerbell.
BOBBY
Ooh. ‘Tinkerbell.’ That’s a new one,
bastard. Say, I just went by the house.
CARL
(worried)
You what?
BOBBY
Yeah, figured you’re not there. Might be
a good time to get some of my stuff.
Oh.
CARL
BOBBY
My stuff wasn’t there, though. House was
empty. Empty, and for sale.
CARL
Thought it was time for a change.
BOBBY
Really? What happened to “The next place
I live’ll be a box in the ground?”
17.
Eh.
CARL
(shrugging)
BOBBY
Wait. Was it...was it something to do
with mom?
(realization dawning)
The treatments! The doctor said they were
experimental...
CARL
You shut up now.
BOBBY
Geez. Where are you gonna live?
CARL
I was thinking...
He looks around the house.
BOBBY
You want to move in with Jackson? Hmm.
Nothing else occurred to you?
Like what?
CARL
BOBBY
(swallowing his feelings)
I don’t know, I...nevermind. And how’s
Jackson feel about a nasty, psychotic old
man in his house?
Carl doesn’t answer.
BOBBY
You haven’t told him!
CARL
I’ll get to it.
BOBBY
Oh, he’s totally gonna put you in a home.
CARL
Horse crap!
BOBBY
Come on. It won’t be that bad. We’ll
visit. Once a year. While you’re asleep.
18.
CARL
Jackson’ll put me in a coffin before he
puts me in a home.
BOBBY
Really? Then why haven’t you mentioned
any of this to him? Tell you what: why
don’t I talk to him for you?
CARL
You keep your mouth shut!
BOBBY
Wait a minute. What did you do with our
stuff? Did you put it in storage out in
the middle off nowhere?
CARL
Nah. Wouldn’t do that. Had a yard sale.
BOBBY
You what?! What about my CDs?
CARL
Didn’t sell well. Ended up throwing half
of ‘em away.
BOBBY
What?! Wait.
(panic setting in)
What about...what about my Friend Bears?
CARL
Oh, yeah. Some lady bought ‘em for her
daughter.
(shaking his head disdainfully)
Figures.
BOBBY
You bastard!
CUT TO:
INT. THERAPIST’S OFFICE -- SOME TIME IN THE FUTURE
Bobby is on the couch.
BOBBY
Lovey Bear. Kissy Bear. I had all the
rare ones. They were worth $900.
CUT
TO:
19.
INT. THERAPIST’S OFFICE -- SOME TIME IN THE FUTURE
Carl is on the couch.
CARL
You’d be amazed what freakin’ Teddy Bears
go for. I got 25 bucks for ‘em.
CUT TO:
INT. JACKSON’S AND LAURA’S LIVING ROOM -- THE PRESENT (DAY 2)
Carl and Bobby are where we left them.
BOBBY
You miserable, selfish S.O.B.!
Jackson enters.
JACKSON
Hey! What’s going on?
Bobby looks at Jackson, then at Carl. Carl looks nervous.
Bobby hesitates, then answers.
BOBBY
Nothing. He called me a pansy.
JACKSON
Oh. Seems like you’d be kinda...used to
that by now.
BOBBY
Yeah well, you know us gays. Very
dramatic.
CUT TO:
THERAPIST’S OFFICE -- SOME TIME IN THE FUTURE
Bobby is on the couch.
THERAPIST
You were angry at him, why didn’t you
tell your brother about his situation?
BOBBY
What’s the matter with you? I hate him,
but he’s...he’s my father. What’s the
matter with you?
CUT TO:
20.
INT. JACKSON’S AND LAURA’S LIVING ROOM -- THE PRESENT (DAY 2)
Jackson, Bobby and Carl open the pizza and dig in as Laura
comes down to join them. Diane enters with Foukra (38), who
looks distinctly Indian.
DIANE
Everyone, this is Foukra. We’re going to
be giving him a try as our therapist.
CARL
Where’d you find this guy? Beggin’ for
work with the rest of the day laborers?
DIANE
(to Foukra)
See? You need to teach them to stop hate
and start love, like you taught me.
(to Carl)
Pig!
Hag!
CARL
LAURA
Look, Foukra, I think this is the wrong
family for-DIANE
Laura, I’m curing you of your closemindedness if it’s the last thing I do.
LAURA
I am not close-minded!
DIANE
Really? Because truly open minded people
can open their minds to the possibility
that their minds are closed.
LAURA
You’re nuts.
DIANE
Could be. See? I don’t deny
possibilities. I accept them.
FOUKRA
(attempting to take control)
Please...perhaps a demonstration of my
methods. I know you’ve suffered a loss.
I’d like you to gather around and embrace
one another.
21.
BOBBY
Like a...group hug?
Well, yes.
FOUKRA
CARL
What? We’re paying’ YOU, and WE’RE
putting on the sex show? Seems like it
oughtta be the other way around.
JACKSON
I don’t...really want to have physical
contact with anybody.
CARL
Look FubarFOUKRA
It’s...Foukra.
CARL
You say it your way, I’ll say it mine.
Anyway, you some kind of fruit? ‘Cause we
got plenty a’ that here already.
BOBBY
He’s talking about me. I’m gay and he
can’t deal with the fact that my mother
wouldn’t let him burn me at the stake.
CARL
Ha! I wouldn’t a’ wasted the wood!
BOBBY
Rot in hell!
You first!
CARL
An uncomfortable silence falls over the room.
FOUKRA
(turning to Diane)
Um...Diane, I’m afraid your daughter’s
right. These people aren’t really ready
to be healed. I wish you luck.
He bows and walks out.
DIANE
Foukra, wait!
22.
She glares at everyone and chases after him.
JACKSON
Well, that went well. When’s our next
session? The pizza’s kinda cold. I’m
reheating.
He takes the pizza into the kitchen.
LAURA
(with something in mind)
I’ll...help.
Laura follows him. Carl and Bobby stare at one another. Bobby
looks uncomfortable and turns on the TV.
INT. KITCHEN -- MOMENTS LATER (DAY 2)
Jackson watches the pizza in the microwave.
LAURA
That’s too long. It’ll be too hot. You’ll
burn yourself.
JACKSON
I’m tough. I can take it.
LAURA
Um...I wanted to say I’m sorry.
For what?
JACKSON
LAURA
Pushing you to express your feelings. My
mom’s reminded me it sucks when someone
pressures you to be what you’re not.
JACKSON
(taking pizza out of microwave)
Eh. Didn’t bother me that much.
LAURA
What? How can you say that?
JACKSON
I don’t know. Just...wasn’t that bad.
LAURA
I’ve been harping on you for days about
being unfeeling! What kind of an
emotionless robot doesn’t mind that?
23.
Jackson sighs, then takes a bite of pizza. It’s too hot.
Oww!
JACKSON
LAURA
I told you!
JACKSON
Yeah, yeah.
LAURA
I...uh...honey...are you all right?
We see his eyes are full of tears.
Yeah. Why?
JACKSON
LAURA
Well, your eyes are...
He dabs at his eye and looks at his hand.
JACKSON
What the...what the hell is this?
LAURA
I think you’re crying.
JACKSON
(heavy sarcasm)
Ha. Yeah, right! That’s what I’m doing.
I’m crying.
He chuckles. Then he dabs at his eye again.
JACKSON
(disturbed)
Wait a minute. I...you know I think you
might be right.
Laura is suddenly uncomfortable.
JACKSON
Hey, why are you looking at me like that?
LAURA
Like what? I don’t know what you mean.
Can I...can I get you a tissue?
24.
JACKSON
I knew it! I knew it! Look at you. You’re
horrified! Repulsed!
LAURA
I just...who cries ‘cause they burn their
mouth?
JACKSON
Well apparently I do! Your husband. Or
should I say your wife?
LAURA
Honey - crying doesn’t make you less of a
man.
CUT TO:
INT. THERAPIST’S OFFICE -- SOME TIME IN THE FUTURE
Laura is on the couch.
LAURA
All I could think was “What a girl!” And
it didn’t make sense! He goes all Niagra
Falls over hot pizza, but his mom dies,
not a tear. And that’s when it hit me.
CUT TO:
INT. JACKSON AND LAURA’S KITCHEN -- THE PRESENT (DAY 2)
Tears continue to pour down Jackson’s face, though he still
shows none of the other usual signs of crying.
JACKSON
It won’t stop! Why won’t it stop?!
LAURA
(realization dawning)
Hold on. Honey you’re not crying about
the pizza burn.
JACKSON
Oh, good. You wanna pretend this isn’t
happening and I’m still the man and
you’re still the woman. Like when I found
you waxing your mustache.
LAURA
It was a couple of hairs!
25.
JACKSON
Whatever you say, Magnum P.I.
LAURA
You promised to stop calling me that!
JACKSON
Well somebody’s gotta be the man here!
Look at me! What if this keeps happening?
LAURA
You’re still the man. You’re not crying
because of the pizza, you’re crying
because your mother died.
JACKSON
Hmm. Okay, yeah. Convenient timing.
Anybody asks, that’s what we’ll tell ‘em.
LAURA
No. You don’t understand. You really ARE
crying because of your mother. It’s
called displacement.
JACKSON
I don’t know. The pizza was pretty hot.
LAURA
Honey, you’ve been repressing your
feelings and the pizza burn just
triggered them for some reason. Wait...
She picks up the box, which pictures Mama.
LAURA
Mama’s Pizza! It wasn’t the burn, it was
the box! Like a...subliminal suggestion.
JACKSON
(grimacing at the box)
Damn you, old woman.
LAURA
You know, without me going to therapy,
we’d think you were crying ‘cause you
burned your mouth.
JACKSON
Hmm. So what you’re saying is: if it
weren’t for therapy, I’d be a sissy?
LAURA
Yes. Yes you would.
26.
JACKSON
(still skeptical)
All right. I’ll...give it a try.
INT. JACKSON’S AND LAURA’S LIVING ROOM -- SAME TIME
Carl and Bobby watch TV in silence. Bobby works up his
courage and speaks up.
BOBBY
Look, I...I’m not too happy you hocked my
stuff. But I’ll get over it. The thing
that bugs me is...well, why’d you go to
Jackson for help? Why not me?
Carl takes a moment, then speaks from the heart.
CARL
He didn’t run like a girl.
BOBBY
What? He didn’t “run like a girl?” That’s
it?
CARL
That, and I never had to worry about
walking in on him prancing around,
singing Diana Ross into a hairbrush.
BOBBY
It was Whitney Houston!
CUT TO:
THERAPIST’S OFFICE -- SOME TIME IN THE FUTURE
Bobby is on the couch.
BOBBY
I wanted to dance with somebody. And so
did Whitney. We knew each others’ pain.
CUT TO:
INT. JACKSON AND LAURA’S LIVING ROOM -- THE PRESENT (DAY 2)
Carl and Bobby are where they were.
BOBBY
So it really is just the gay thing.
27.
CARL
Well it’s...when you were kids, I never
knew what to make of you. He was a
regular boy. Did regular stuff. I could
relate.
BOBBY
(understanding)
Huh. Look Dad, we’re different, but we’re
family. I may run like a girl, and throw
like one, but I could...be there for you.
CARL
(taken off-guard)
Uh...yeah. Well I...
CUT TO:
INT. THERAPIST’S OFFICE -- SOME TIME IN THE FUTURE
Bobby is on the couch.
BOBBY
For the first time in my life, I felt
like I was making a connection with him.
CUT TO:
INT. THERAPIST’S OFFICE -- SOME TIME IN THE FUTURE
Carl is on the couch.
CARL
(touched, but conflicted)
I don’t know. It was like he was trying
to...make some kinda connection with me.
(macho denial)
What a fairy.
CUT TO:
INT. JACKSON AND LAURA’S LIVING ROOM -- THE PRESENT (DAY 2)
Carl and Bobby are where they were.
CARL
Listen kid...time like this, I guess I
just go with what I know. And Jackson’s
like me - manly man, you know?
Jackson enters with the pizza, tears streaming down his face,
but otherwise unemotional. Carl and Bobby stare at him.
28.
CARL
What the hell’s the matter with you?
JACKSON
(nervous)
Oh, I’m...crying. ‘Cause mom is dead.
CARL
(suspicious)
What? Well, why now?
Yeah?
BOBBY
JACKSON
‘Cause displacement and...repression.
CARL
(pointing at the pizza)
Hmm. Gimme another slice of that.
Jackson hands Carl a piece of pizza and leans over to Laura,
his eyes still filled with tears.
JACKSON
(whispering optimistically)
I think they’re buying it.
He gives a “thumbs up.” She shakes her head. Diane enters.
DIANE
Well, I hope you people are happy. The
negative energy in here bloated Foukra’s
spleen. And I may never see him again.
BOBBY
Oh, no. What’ll we do if we need a
chicken sacrificed?
Everyone laughs.
DIANE
You’re like a pack of hyenas. I’ll be in
my room.
She starts up the stairs.
CARL
Say, son I...was wondering, you gonna be
needing that guest room any time soon?
JACKSON
You mean, like, in the next few days?
29.
CARL
I was thinking more like...ever.
LAURA
You...want to move in?
Diane pauses on the stairs.
DIANE
Oh, please! You want a change of scenery,
I’m sure the museum of natural history’d
build you a nice habitat so people could
come see a real live cave man.
CARL
Shut up woman. Nobody’s talking to you!
DIANE
I’ll shut up when you make me!
CARL
It’ll be my pleasure!
JACKSON
Dad! Dad, I’m not following. What are you
talking about?
Carl hesitates and looks at Bobby, who offers him a
supportive nod.
CARL
Well, it’s like this. When I lost your
mom, I...lost everything.
JACKSON
Dad, I know it feels that way but-CARL
No, I...put up the house, our
investments. Everything - for the
experimental treatments.
JACKSON
What? Dad...if you needed money...
CARL
Hey, I don’t need your money! I pay my
own way.
Beat.
CARL
By the way, I...sold all your stuff.
30.
JACKSON
What? You...I...Why wouldn’t you ask for
help?
CARL
I AM asking for help.
JACKSON
Oh. Right. So you want to live...here?
CARL
That’s what I was thinking.
JACKSON
But then you’d be...here.
Yeah.
CARL
JACKSON
In our house. With us. Here.
CARL
Son, without your mom, I’m...
He pauses, at a loss.
CARL
I need family.
CUT TO:
INT. THERAPIST’S OFFICE -- SOME TIME IN THE FUTURE
Carl is on the couch.
CARL
It was the hardest thing I ever had to
ask anybody. But...I knew my boy would
come through.
CUT TO:
INT. THERAPIST’S OFFICE -- SOME TIME IN THE FUTURE
Jackson is on the couch.
JACKSON
I thought, “To hell with you old man.
You’re going to live in a home.” But
then...it was weird. I thought of gravel.
That’s what he did for thirty years, you
know: delivered gravel.
(MORE)
31.
JACKSON (CONT'D)
And I always thought he was incapable of
love, but at that moment I just had this
image of him driving around all day,
shoveling rocks into peoples’ driveways.
And...it hit me. The man did for us.
CUT TO:
INT. JACKSON’S AND LAURA’S LIVING ROOM -- THE PRESENT (DAY 2)
Everyone is where they were.
CARL
So how ‘bout it?
Jackson looks at Laura. She hesitates, then shrugs and nods.
JACKSON
I...I guess we could...yeah.
CARL
Thanks. Laura, I really appreciate it,
‘cause I know we don’t see eye to eye on
saving the whales and...respecting women
and what not.
Laura bites her lip and nods.
CARL
And son, I...
He hugs Jackson. At first it’s a back-patting man hug, but as
Jackson pulls away, Carl squeezes him tight. Jackson returns
the gesture and they remain there. Laura and Diane look at
the two men, touched. Then they turn and look at one another.
BOBBY
(to Carl and Jackson)
Man. And you guys think I’M gay.
Carl and Bobby break the embrace, suddenly uncomfortable.
CARL
(wiping his eyes)
Never happened.
JACKSON
Don’t even know what you’re talking
about.
Laura approaches Diane on the stares.
32.
LAURA
Mom, look. I’m sorry I wasn’t more open
to the Foukra thing.
DIANE
And I’m sorry I said you work for The
Man. You’re doing a lot to change the way
we treat the environment and animals.
LAURA
Thanks. That means a lot coming from
someone who did time for trying to skin
the governor and wear him as a coat to
“see how he liked it.”
DIANE
All that salt and pepper hair. Bastard
woulda made a sharp lookin’ fur.
LAURA
How ‘bout we take some time next week and
interview some therapists together?
Diane smiles. They hug.
CUT TO:
INT. THERAPIST’S OFFICE -- SOME TIME IN THE FUTURE
Laura is on the couch.
LAURA
We have our differences, but...I love my
mom.
CUT TO:
INT. THERAPIST’S OFFICE -- SOME TIME IN THE FUTURE
Diane is on the couch.
DIANE
The EPA. PETA. Ha! We can hug and make up
‘till the cows come home, but the fact
is, she’s doing the devil’s work.
END OF SHOW
FADE OUT.