February 2008
Vol. 11, No. 6
®
still make the difference!
FDLRS/Westgate Associate Center
Help your child
practice the skill
of estimation
Ensure your preteen gets enough
sleep to remain focused in school
A
key part of your preteen’s
education exists far outside the
classroom. It’s sleep, and it’s critical
to his success in school. Why?
Because research shows that a lack of
sleep can make it tough for kids to
focus on learning.
Although everyone is different,
kids between 11 and 13 years old
need roughly 9.5 to 10 hours of sleep
per night.
To figure out whether your
preteen is getting enough shuteye,
ask yourself:
• Does he fall asleep within 30 minutes of going to bed?
• Can he wake up fairly easily in the
morning?
• Is he alert all day—with no
reports from school about him
dragging in class?
If you answered yes to all these
questions, chances are your preteen
is getting the right amount of sleep.
But if you answered no, it’s time to
take action. To help your preteen get
enough sleep:
• Enforce a regular bedtime.
• Limit his caffeine intake. Watch
for this stimulant in things like
cocoa, soda, iced tea and
chocolate.
• Ban before-bed TV watching, and
don’t put a set in his room. Studies
link watching TV to sleep problems.
Take these crucial sleep-saving steps
tonight, and your preteen may arrive
at school bright-eyed and ready to
learn tomorrow!
Source: Kyla Boyse, R.N. “Sleep Problems,” University of
Michigan Health System, www.med.umich.edu/1libr/
yourchild/sleep.htm.
You hope your child
realizes by now that
math is completely
linked with daily life.
BUILDING
MATH SKILLS Each time you look at
your watch, measure ingredients
or watch the gas gauge as you fill
up your car, you are using math.
Sometimes, though, it isn’t
necessary to do exact calculations.
For many everyday situations, the
math skill of estimation will be all
that’s needed. Practice this skill
with your child whenever you can.
Ask your preteen questions like
these to help her think in terms of
estimation:
• How long did it take us to get to
the dentist the last time we
went? What time do you think
we should leave today to get
there on time?
• We need to pick up a gallon of
milk, a loaf of bread and a
bunch of bananas. How much
money do you think we’ll need?
• That’s a thick library book you
just brought home. About how
many pages long is it? How
much time do you think it will
take you to read it?
Source: Patricia Clark Kenschaft, Math Power: How to Help
Your Child Love Math, Even If You Don’t, ISBN: 0-20177289-2 (Addison Wesley Publishing Co., 617-848-7500,
www.aw-bc.com).
738802
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www.parent-institute.com Practical ideas for parents to help their children
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Help your middle schooler banish Does your middle
bullying and stop being a victim schooler have
Is your preteen being
picked on at school? If he
is, there are steps he can
FITTING IN take to get his power
back. Help him:
• Figure out when the bullying
usually happens. Teach your preteen to notice where the problem
tends to start, and to avoid that
situation.
• Respond appropriately. Help your
preteen determine which
reactions—such as crying or
yelling—fuel more bullying.
Would humor lighten up the situation? Can he just walk away?
• Widen his horizons. Isolation can
lead to being bullied, so enlarge
your preteen’s social circle (such
as through a club or team). Work
with him on his social skills.
• Seek help from the school. Your
preteen should talk with a caring
adult at his school, such as his
guidance counselor. Most schools
have a no tolerance policy on
bullying. Make sure you and your
child know the details of your
school’s policy.
Source: José Bolton Sr., Ph.D., L.P.C. and Stan Graeve, M.A.,
No Room for Bullies, ISBN: 1-889322-67-9 (Boys Town Press,
1-800-282-6657, www.boystownpress.org).
Reinforce effective note-taking
skills for better comprehension
Listening when the
teacher is talking is the
most critical skill your
HOMEWORK/ child needs in class. Your
STUDY SKILLS
child can supplement
good listening with good notes.
Here are note-taking pointers to
offer your child:
• Write down lists. If the teacher
says, “Here are five causes of the
Revolutionary War,” your child
should write the five down.
• Listen for “extreme” words.
Anytime a teacher describes a
concept as the best, the weakest or
the last, your child should take
note of it.
• Write down what’s on the board.
Concepts a teacher takes time to
write on the board or present as a
slideshow are usually key concepts.
• Listen for tone of voice. A teacher
won’t always say, “This is important.” But if she seems enthused
when discussing a topic, it probably is important.
• Highlight concepts the teacher
mentions more than once.
Teachers reinforce concepts they
really want students to know.
• Stay with it. Teachers sometimes
squeeze in important topics near
the end of class as they realize
they are running out of time.
Source: William R. Luckie and Wood Smethurst, Study Power:
Study Skills to Improve Your Learning & Your Grades, ISBN:
1-57129-046-X (Brookline Books, 1-800-666-2665, www.
brooklinebooks.com).
®
still make the difference!
good attendance?
The holidays are over,
spring seems far away,
and your child may not
always “feel like” going to
PARENT
QUIZ
school. Don’t let your
child’s attendance slip!
Answer yes or no to the following
statements to find out if you are
promoting good attendance:
___1. I make clear to my child that
she must be in school unless she is
really sick or there is a family
emergency.
___2. I urge my child to maintain a
regular sleep schedule. Sleeping in
on weekends makes it more difficult
for her to get up for school.
___3. I am aware of how to access
information about weather-related
school closings.
___4. I encourage my child to get
everything ready for school the night
before. An unprepared child may be
tardy or absent.
___5. I encourage my child to wash
her hands regularly and dress for the
weather to minimize the chances
that she will become ill.
How well are you doing?
Each yes answer means you are
promoting good attendance for your
child. For no answers, try those ideas
in the quiz.
Publisher: John H. Wherry, Ed.D. Managing
Editor: Pat Hodgdon. Editor: Rebecca Miyares.
Writers: Maria Koklanaris & Holly Smith.
Illustrator: Joe Mignella.
Practical Ideas for Parents to Help Their
Children. ISSN: 1523-1283
1071-5118
For subscription information call or write:
The Parent Institute®, 1-800-756-5525,
P.O. Box 7474, Fairfax Station, VA 22039-7474.
Fax: 1-800-216-3667.
Or visit our website: www.parent-institute.com.
Published monthly September through May by
The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc., an
independent, private agency. Equal opportunity
employer. Copyright © 2008 NIS, Inc.
Have an idea to share?
The editors of Parents Still make the difference!
pay $25 for each original idea published (in
English, please), and you will receive credit in
the article.
Send ideas to Parents Still make the difference!,
Editorial Staff, P.O. Box 7474, Fairfax Station, VA
22039-7474 (or www.parent-institute.com/
ideas/pmd). Materials sent cannot be returned.
2 • Middle School • Parents still make the difference! • February 2008
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Copyright © 2008, The Parent Institute®
Stress the importance of reading
directions, finishing assignments
Your child’s middle
school assignments will
be more challenging than
REINFORCING those she had in elemenLEARNING tary school. Before she
can complete them correctly, she has
to know how to get started. She
should also have a plan for what to
do in case she runs into a problem.
Your child should:
• Always read directions first.
Too many students skip this step!
If your child just assumes she
knows what to do, she may miss
important information. She may
even miss the whole point of the
assignment.
• Look for examples. Assignments
often build on material previously
covered. Your child may be able to
find examples of what to do in her
textbook or notes.
• Have resources to turn to if she is
having problems with an assignment at home. She could ask an
adult for clarification, call a classmate, try a homework site on the
Internet, etc.
• Speak to a teacher the next day if
she continues to struggle after
trying the options above.
Source: Sydney S. Zentall and Sam Goldstein, Seven Steps to
Homework Success, ISBN: 1-886941-22-X (Specialty Press,
Inc., 1-800-233-9273, www.addwarehouse.com).
Teach your preteen a five-step
process to solve any problem
Boost your preteen’s selfassurance by boosting his
problem-solving skills.
When he’s faced with a
DEVELOPING
THINKING tough dilemma, help him
SKILLS
tackle it by following this
problem-solving model:
1. Define the issue and set a goal for
handling it. If the problem is a
poor grade in math, your preteen
could say (and write down), “I
want to bring my grade up to a B.”
Simply saying, “I want to do better,” doesn’t give him anything
concrete to work toward.
2. Brainstorm ways to reach the
goal. Sit with your preteen while
he thinks of ways to reach his goal,
and write down his ideas.
3. Evaluate options. Go over his
ideas together. Help him weed out
unrealistic ones by having him ask
himself, “Is this really doable?” At
the end of this step, he should
have a list of reasonable things
that he can try.
4. Develop a plan for trying his
ideas. If one option was to stay
after school every Tuesday for
tutoring, help him make it
happen. “If you bring your soccer
uniform to school with you and
change after tutoring, you’ll have
time to get to practice by 4:00.”
5. Assess and modify the plan. After
a while, check to see how his plan
is going. Is he reaching his goal?
Great! If not, have him evaluate
his options again and choose
another course of action.
Source: Susan Carney, “Problem Solving Skills for Teens,”
Suite 101, http://youthdevelopment.suite101.com/
article.cfm/problem_solving_skills_for_teens.
“Adolescence is a period of
rapid changes. Between the
ages of 12 and 17, for example,
a parent ages as much as 20
years.”
Q: I don’t want to be a busybody,
but one of my child’s teachers is
assigning way too much homework—sometimes two hours per
night! How can I take action without seeming pushy?
Questions & Answers
A: If you feel there’s a real problem
with the amount of work your
child brings home, it’s reasonable
to speak with the teacher about it.
To make sure everyone benefits
from the conversation, be sure
you:
• Schedule an appointment with
the teacher. Never show up
unannounced.
• Prepare for your meeting
ahead of time. Write down your
concerns and try to cite specific
examples of the problem.
• Really listen to what the
teacher says in response to
your concerns. If you hear
something that seems confusing or misses the point, ask him
to clarify what he means.
Really listen to what the
teacher says in response to
your concerns.
• Give yourself time to go home
and reflect on it. Think about
what you and the teacher said
to each other. Can you come up
with any new ideas or solutions
that maybe didn’t occur to you
before?
If the problem continues, meet
with your child’s principal. Follow
the same steps you used when
meeting with the teacher and see
if the issue can be resolved. By
staying on top of it and working
with the school, you will find a
solution to the problem.
—Holly Smith,
The Parent Institute
—Anonymous
738802
February 2008 • Middle School • Parents still make the difference! • 3
Copyright © 2008, The Parent Institute®
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It Matters: Motivating Your Child
Use realistic
expectations to
motivate kids
Expectations can be
tricky. You want to set a
high bar for your child.
Research shows that
SETTING
EXPECTATIONS
students often live up
to parent and teacher expectations,
whether the expectations are high
or low.
But realism is important, too.
Most students are not going to excel
in everything. If you are only satisfied with near-perfection across the
board, your child may well say to
himself, “What’s the point?” and
stop trying altogether.
Here are some tips for balancing
your expectations to your child’s
greatest benefit:
• Encourage your child to do his
best in all his pursuits. That
means he engages with the
material and puts forth effort.
• Let your child know you are
proud of his effort and hard
work. Emphasize that he should
be proud of himself.
• Have unique expectations for
each of your kids. Do not compare your child with siblings or
friends.
• Remember, your expectations
are for your child, not for you.
Your child is entitled to his own
dreams. It is not fair to him if you
simply want him to do what you
wished you had done.
• Celebrate your child’s interests.
When a child feels parents value
these, it can spur him to try to do
better in all his pursuits.
Source: Donald E. Greydanus, M.D., Caring for Your
Adolescent: Ages 12 to 21, ISBN: 0-553-07556-X (Bantam
Dell Publishing Group, 1-800-733-3000, www.random
house.com/bantamdell/).
Help your middle schooler
bounce back from any setback
S
etbacks happen, but don’t let
them derail your middle
schooler! The next time life—or a
bad grade, a painful defeat in a ballgame, etc.—throws her for a loop,
help her bounce back. You can:
• Give her time and space to get
over her disappointment.
• Point out that setbacks are
normal, and that everyone
experiences them.
• Praise her when she copes well
with her disappointment.
• Remind her that tomorrow can
be a fresh start.
It is important not to dismiss your
middle schooler’s frustration over a
setback. After all, her feelings
matter. But encourage her to grow
from the experience. Have her think
about what she’s learned from it
and what she might do differently
next time. And don’t let her wallow—
it’ll only prolong everyone’s misery.
Source: “Motivating Kids,” Families Online, www.
familiesonline.co.uk/article/articleview/184/1/37.
Encourage your preteen to stay
motivated by being organized
A disorganized child
loses a lot, especially
time. Without enough
MOTIVATING time to do her work, or
YOUR CHILD
with precious time
wasted searching for what she
needs, your child can quickly
become discouraged.
Try these organization ideas to
keep that from happening:
• Give your child a planner to
write down assignments, the
materials she will need to complete them and important dates.
• Buy inexpensive file folders
from a discount store. Label
them by subject. Have your child
spend fifteen minutes a week
going through her papers. She
can file what she needs to keep
and toss the rest.
• Set aside another block of time
each week for backpack maintenance. She should sort, file and
toss.
• Make sure your child has some
bins to hold desktop supplies.
Check these weekly to see if she
is running low. If she doesn’t
work at a desk, help her stock a
box with supplies. She can carry
it to wherever she is working.
Source: Donna Goldberg with Jennifer Zwiebel, The
Organized Student: Teaching Children the Skills for Success in
School and Beyond, ISBN: 0-7432-7020-7 (Fireside Press, a
division of Simon & Schuster, 1-800-456-6798,
www.simonsays.com).
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4 • Middle School • Parents still make the difference! • February 2008