Women —
Revolution and Results
by Jane Bouterse
WOMEN—
You can’t live with them, and you can’t live without them.
T
hat observation had to be one
of Adam’s earliest, and time has
neither dimmed nor diminished
its accuracy. But how does one write
about the subject of WOMEN? In
pursuit of this goal, forests have been
consumed by the paper required to
address just that subject, not to mention
the kilowatts required to convey audio
and video discussions, or the hours of
conversations around water coolers, in
lawyers’ offices or late night or luncheon
settings. To paraphrase the King in
Rodgers and Hammerstein’s THE KING
AND I, Women are a puzzlement!
So…what do I do about this
assignment to write about WOMEN?
Of the world’s almost 7 billion people, a
large percentage are women and girls.
The color of their skins, their cultures and
languages and costumes differ markedly,
but many of the challenges they face
remain the same. How do I refer to them:
by first name and hyphenated last name?
as Mrs. Miss or Ms? The form of address
is important because words shape our
world. “Mrs. and Miss,” according to
Gibbs, “for much of the 18th and 19th
centuries were deployed to signal age,
not marital status. Both were derived from
Mistress, a word that, before it put on its
feather boa and fishnet stockings was the
title for any woman with authority over
a household.” Ms. although considered
new is not. “It was first spotted on the
tombstone of Ms. Sarah Spooner in
1767….” With the publication of Ms.
magazine in the early 70s, Ms. became a
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handy word for addressing women who
wanted to be recognized as individuals
rather than by their relationship with a
man.
The linguistic puzzle simply
accentuated the growing perplexity of
women in the culture. Maria Shriver
has identified the confusion of women
as “The Unfinished Revolution.” In
the historical world of Eunice Shriver,
Maria’s mother, women were supposed
to be soft and submissive, and Eunice
Shriver came from a family (the
Kennedys) who expected a great deal
from their boys and “very little from their
girls.” For Eunice Shriver to step outside
those expectations took courage. My
mom lived in the same world. Hindsight
has illuminated the boldness with which
she, too, lived her life, for she was
both the submissive wife and superior
homemaker and the independent spirit
who changed the lives of those around
her—beginning with her children. She
and my dad convinced my sister and
me that, equipped with education and
a willingness to work, we could do or
be anything in the world we wanted. At
the same time, she went back to the
workplace and handed over to my dad
all but $50 of every paycheck when he
noted the family needed more money.
My mom’s world required courage, too,
as well as coping with change.
The partnership of courage
and change are familiar to women
worldwide. On July 11, 2009, the
United Nation’s World Population Day
focused on women and girls around
the world. The emphasis of the day
was on girls becoming educated and
women as major economic agents in
the development of their countries. According to UNFPA, “…women, more
than men, invest their earnings in the
health and education of their children.
Investments in public health, education,
child care and other social services
help mitigate the impact of the crisis on
the entire family and raise productivity
for a healthier economy.” This fact
has not been lost on prize-winning
journalist and First Lady of California,
Maria Shriver. She and her team have
joined forces with Joseph Podesta,
President of the Center for American
Progress to generate The Shriver
Report: A Woman’s Nation Changes
Everything. Their study has concluded
that by the end of this year, “for the first
time in history the majority of workers
in the U.S. will be women.” Just to be
sure the men have plenty of input, The
Shriver Report has been joined by the
Rockefeller Foundation in collaboration
with Time to explore “whether the battle
of the sexes is really over, and if so who
won? “
A glance backward to the
20th century will focus principally on
the changing dynamic of the family, a
change caused in large part by World
War II.
With American men enlisting
in the war effort, the work force quickly
PHENOMENAL WOMAN
by Maya Angelou
Pretty women wonder where my secret lies
I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size
But when I start to tell them
They think I’m telling lies.
I say,
It’s in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.
I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It’s the fire in my eyes
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing of my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.
Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can’t touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them,
They say they still can’t see.
I say
It’s in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.
Now you understand
Just why my head’s not bowed.
I don’t shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It’s in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
The palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
‘Cause I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.
diminished. Who would “man” the
assembly lines in the factories to
produce the many needed items for the
current war? Filling a gross shortage of
manpower, through the factory gates
flooded an army of woman power.
Mothers, daughters, secretaries, wives
and even schoolgirls picked up the
factory duties the men had left behind.
“Rosie the Riveter” pulled
women out of their homes and into the
workplace, and they seldom looked
back. As co-author Podesta observes,
“…the movement of women out of
the home and into paid employment
stands out as a unique and powerful
transformation.” That change in the
organization and values of the culture
has dictated permanent alterations-some good, some not. Nonetheless, the
roles of women became clearly even
more multi-faceted and rules of the
society’s operation had to be changed.
The Shriver Report, the Rockefeller
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Foundation and Time’s studies attempt
to call attention to those changes
in action and attitudes because, as
always, the culture is changing faster
than the laws which govern it. For
example:
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Moms aren’t home all day
caring for younger children and
available to pick-up the kids
from school, yet quality child
care and flexible hours at work
are in short supply.
Workplaces are no longer the
domain of men. While men
and women still tend to work
in different kinds of jobs, most
workers under 40 have never
known a workplace without
women bosses and women
colleagues. Yet, for every $1
men made in 1972, women
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earned 58₵. In 2008, women
made 77₵ for every $1 men
earned.
Schools still let kids out in the
afternoon, long before the
workday ends, and they shut
their doors for three months
during the summer, even though
the majority of families with
children are supported by a
single working parent or a dualearning couple.
Most workers—men and
women—now have family
responsibilities they negotiate
daily with their spouses, family,
employees, bosses, colleagues.
But it is still a rare doctor’s
office that is open evenings
or weekends, even though so
many people work at all hours in
our 24/7 economy.
To reinforce this
point, David
Gregory, Moderator
of MEET THE
PRESS, shares this
story:
Just this
week I had a
conversation at
NBC News with a
female executive
about some of
the things that I’m
doing inside of-not my hours, per
se, but some of
the things that I
should be engaged
in. And one of
the things that
came up in that
conversation, I
said, “Look, I need
to factor this in a
little bit with my
wife’s schedule,
because she’s
traveling more as
a lawyer.” And I
thought to myself,
you know, 20
years ago with-and her response,
by the way, was,
“Absolutely. Well,
you’ve got to come
to me, let me know
what works.” And I
thought, would that
conversation have
happened 20 years
ago, you’d have a
female executive
and somebody
in my position bringing these
issues up?
The results of these studies may
be surprising to some, but women will
probably be the least surprised of all.
For so many women, the juggling of
responsibilities has been their way
of life for so long they would be hard
put to live any other way. When I
was in grade school (more years ago
than I care to count now), one of my
classmates lived on a farm in the Red
River bottomland, literally at the end of
the road. It was and is a beautiful place
which supported crops, cattle and a few
horses. The well groomed, productive
pecan orchard produced valuable
native pecans in large quantities, which
provided not only revenue but also a
haven for varied wildlife. Most of the
time the farm’s proximity to the river
was an advantage, but when the rains
came the gravel-clay roads became
challenging to negotiate. Although
it was probably only about 15-20
miles from the farm to the school,
getting there required planning and
determination. Yet that mother drove
that dusty, sometimes muddy pick-up
every school day from the farm into
town. Her son was never late for school
and seldom absent in all the years
he attended. His mom usually had
errands to run for her husband before
she returned to her farm duties, which
included any job which had to be done.
There was no gender distinction when
it came to any piece of farm machinery,
herding, doctoring, gardening or even
preparing massive meals for the farm
hands during harvest or haying time.
When the PTA met, she was there;
when a home room mother was
needed or another job to be completed
at the school, she never hesitated
to volunteer. She must have been a
superb listener and reader, for she was
always well-informed. Because of her
business acumen and her activities,
she knew and enjoyed people all over
the country. I never understood how
she could get everything done, but she
did and always with a to-be-anticipated
smile. That was a woman who followed
the directions of her heart and head
while she negotiated with multifaceted responsibilities and cultural
expectations.
For women who have chosen
this route, the path has not been
easy. In a man’s world, strong women
have often been perceived as threats.
Therefore, keeping women in their
“places” (i.e. the kitchen or the nursery)
and without an income have been tools
not only of security but also control. (But
women would probably argue about the
control, even so.) As The Shriver Report
notes: In 1950, women were just 29.6
percent of the work force. By the end
of 2009, they will be 50%. “Almost 40
percent, 40 percent of working wives.”
a somewhat-dismayed David Gregory
notes during the October 18 MEET
THE PRESS, “ are earning as much or
more than their husbands, they are the
breadwinners. How do these two points
underscore the title of this report, ‘A
Woman’s Nation’? How do those make
this a woman’s nation?”
MS. MARIA SHRIVER: Well, I think
what’s really important is these changes
are permanent. Women are now
half of the work force, two-thirds of
mothers are primary breadwinners or
co-breadwinners, and that this is where
we are now in this country. And that
change affects every institution that
this country is dealing with. Less than
30 percent of kids have a stay-at-home
parent today. What impact does that
have to the government, to business,
to men, to women, to faith-based
institutions?
Nancy Gibbs in her TIME
SPECIAL REPORT (October 26, 2009.
26) writes:
So it’s worth stopping to look
at what happened while we were busy
ending the Cold War and building
a multicultural society and enjoying
the longest economic expansion in
history….In 1972 only 7% of students
playing high school sports were girls;
now the number is six times as high.
The female dropout rate has fallen in
half. College campuses used to be
almost 60-40 male; now the ratio has
reversed, and close to half of law and
medical degrees go to women, up from
fewer than 10% in 1970. Half the Ivy
League presidents are women, and
two of the three network anchors soon
will be; three of the four most recent
Secretaries of State have been women.
There are more than 145 foundations
designed to empower women around
the world, in the belief that this is the
greatest possible weapon against
poverty and disease; there was only one
major foundation (the Ms. Foundation)
for women in 1972. For the first time,
five women have won Nobel Prizes in
the same year (for Medicine, Chemistry,
Economics and Literature). We just
came through an election year in which
Hillary Clinton, Sarah Palin, Tina Fey
and Katie Couric were lead players, not
the supporting cast. And the President
of the United States was raised by a
single mother and married a lawyer who
outranked and outearned him.
Like all changes, there are
trade-offs to be made by men, women
and the culture—costs and casualties,
if you will. Since more women can
now support themselves and a family,
marriage appears to be less important
to women’s happiness than to the
happiness of men. Financial security
and parenthood are still important to
women, but there is a kind of “I can
do it on my own” attitude. According
to Time’s research: “The percentage
of children born to single women has
leaped from 12% in the 70s to 39%
today.” Most women still believe in the
existence of a “glass ceiling,” and 69%
of women and 59% of men agree there
would be fewer problems in the world if
women were more equal in government
and business.
Not to be forgotten or ignored
are those women who have the
fortunate privilege of staying at home
with their children. The value of their
contributions to this “Woman’s nation”
world is immeasurable. The changes
required by women in the workplace are
equally important to these homemakers.
Spending all day, every day with
children is a rigorous responsibility
which begs for the same kinds of
support and opportunities needed by
workplace moms.
Obviously, the structure of a
“Woman’s Nation” is filled with many
new methods of operation with which
both women and men must deal. It is a
world in which a woman is empowered
to realize her dreams while dealing
with change, seeking opportunities and
acceptance and striving for balance.
A woman can be successful in the
boardroom, but the breakfast table is
still important. With all her success on
the economic front, a woman must not
lose sight of her individuality—of her
own beauty. A woman can be beautiful
in so many ways. Maya Angelou calls
her “Phenomenal:”
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Pretty women wonder where my secret
lies
I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion
model’s size
But when I start to tell them
They think I’m telling lies.
I say,
It’s in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.
And that’s only the first stanza of
Angelou’s poetic celebration of
“Phenomenal Woman.” (See Page 45 for
entire poem.)
To illustrate the wisdom of Maya
Angelou’s poem I offer my Mom, Louise
Aycock. How grateful I am for this
opportunity to celebrate the phenomenally
beautiful woman she was! Her physical
stature was not much over five feet; her
weight, slightly over 100 lbs.; her fragile
facial skin still bore the scars of having
been burned by X-rays twice to rid her
of the acne she suffered while growing
up. Her weekly trip to the beauty shop
occupied ritual status in her world as did
the comfortably classic attire that was
her preference. When she walked across
the room, she could turn heads more
because of her smile and extended hand
than her physical beauty, however. My
Mom believed in hugs and handshakes
and unconditional love. Her heart
had room for so many, but her family
occupied a special place—especially her
three granddaughters who discovered
she had eyes in the back of her head.
She took great pride in being a stay-athome mom, yet she was equally at home
in the workplace. She retired early from
the classroom she loved so she could
care for my dad and his developing
health issues. She remained active (she
actually wore out two stationary bicycles)
and kept her own teeth throughout her
life.
My mom’s kingdom was her
kitchen. Every meal was a tribute to
her creativity and love, but the beauty
and tasty abundance of her magnificent
holiday meals have yet to be duplicated.
The memory of them adds special
significance to every holiday repast.
She was a hard worker, a doer, a
fabulous cook, a counselor, a neighbor,
a caretaker of her family and friends, a
learner, a teacher.
Several years ago, as I stood in
a grocery store check-out line, I heard,
“Who are you?”—a suspect question for
me, at least. I turned my head to see a
somewhat chubby woman whose gray,
slightly unkempt hair framed her bright
eyes and wrinkle-streaked face. The
pleasant smile which dominated her
appearance made it obvious she was
speaking to me. When I replied, she
smiled. “I thought so. Your mom was my
second grade teacher, and you look just
like her. I remember when she used to
bring you to her classroom. Is she still
alive?” Regrettably I had to answer, “No.”
“She was a special teacher. I
still remember her so well,” the stranger
added. A lump seized my throat as I
tearfully shared her long-cherished
memory. Not surprisingly, my mom
continues to be remembered with equal
fondness by many of those women—
now grand and great grandmothers--she
taught in health and physical education
classes. No greater tributes can be paid
to the teacher and person—a woman of
caring and character—who was my Mom.
A phenomenal woman!
Adam or whoever was right:
Women, you can’t live with them, and
you can’t live without them. They give
life, literally and figuratively, to the world.
Whether they are hyphenated or called,
Mrs., Miss or Ms. really makes little
difference. The important point is that
most women don’t have to pick a title
much anymore but can be comfortable
with them all, meaning they can be
comfortable with themselves. As for who
has won the legendary Battle of the
Sexes? Polls and pundits are declaring “a
tie.”
ALT is taking the opportunity to
celebrate the conclusion of the Battle and
acknowledge some of the winners. What
a rare chance to recognize these Beautiful
Women in our individual and community
lives! The magazine cannot contain
enough pages to include them
all. However, the tributes we will
be paying can remind us of their
presence—or memory--and spur us
to say to all the Beautiful Women
we know a “Thank you” or “I love
you,” or even “I appreciate so
much all that you do.” When that
happens, when we understand and
remember that beauty exists on
the inside of a person as well as
the outside—we make our world
a happier, better place to be—one
Beautiful Woman at a time!
********************
Much of the information in this article was
obtained from:
Angelou, Maya. “Phenomenal Woman.”
Gibbs, Nancy. “What Women Want Now: A
TIME Special Report.” TIME. October 26,
2009. 26-31, 64.
Gregory, David. MEET THE PRESS
Transcript. October 18, 2009.
Shriver, Maria and John Podesta. THE
SHRIVER REPORT: A WOMAN’S NATION
CHANGES EVERYTHING.
Shriver, Maria. “The Unfinished
Revolution.” TIME. October 26, 2009. 35.
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