The Expectations of a Dominican male
Ashly Marquez
Being born in a Dominican family you have many expectations, especially if you
are a male. A typical Dominican male is usually a ladies man, he is very machismo, and
loves the ladies. He is always convinced that he can get any girl that he wants. Usually its
true because of the way that they carry themselves. Their self confidence comes to them
so easily. All of this has to do with the influences they have in their homes, what they see
is what they learn and do. It certainly must be difficult for a Dominican male who is born
into a family that doesn’t have a male figure. Who will explain to them how things
should be? The males’ family constantly watches him and makes sure that he is living up
to the expectations. If they don’t live by these lifestyle rules the family will feel as if they
did wrong and they will feel disappointed on how they raised their child. It is as if you
are a disgrace to your family if you don’t match up to the role of a typical Dominican
male. At times, it is difficult for the male to comprehend why he has to act or behave a
certain way. Sometimes they think differently, the males with this particular perspective
are considered the outcast or the odd ball of the family. In the novel The Brief Wondrous
Life of Oscar Wao Junot Diaz uses Oscar’s lack of masculinity to show the reader the
expectations of a typical Dominican male.
Throughout the novel we learn about Oscar and his family. By learning about
Oscar’s family we notice the expectations that they have for not only Oscar but on every
Dominican male. The male figure in a Dominican family is seen as a very high power. He
has to act a certain way and have a certain charm. He must be aggressive or violent, and
of course he must be attractive and sexually active. If a male didn’t match up the
expectations then they would basically be lost in life. It is as if they are born with it,
which is why people failed to understand how Oscar could be so naïve in that department.
When Oscar was young he was a ladies man but as he grew up everything changed. He
gained weight and just simply lost his luck with the ladies. Although Oscar lacked the
appearance he still slightly had the mind of a Dominican. One of his main goals
throughout the novel was to have a girl who could simply love him for who he was.
Unfortunately his lack of game and physical attraction did not help him achieve his goal
at all. Continuously being criticized and looked down on because of his lack of
masculinity made Oscar the outcast not only in his family but every where he went. He
wasn’t like everyone else. His state of mind was different. Unfortunately this made
Oscar’s life odd to everyone’s perspective on how life really should be.
In the first page of The Golden Age in the second paragraph it says “…dude never
had much luck with the females (how very un-Dominican of him).” Junot Diaz has a
different style of writing. He uses his techniques to show that the sentence does not have
only one meaning. His style makes the reader have to read between the lines and dig a
little deeper to find the second meaning. I feel that the way that Junot Diaz italicized the
word “very” made the point across that Oscar’s ways of life was extremely different to
the way it should be. Junot Diaz could have simply written “very” rather than “very” but
his choice of language and style emphasize the point that he is trying to get across. On
pg. 24 the narrator says “Everybody noticed his lack of game and because they were
Dominican everybody talked about it.” This quote is an example of everyone’s point of
view on the way that Oscar chose to live his life. “…because they were Dominican
everybody talked about it.” If Oscar was another ethnicity maybe people wouldn’t find it
shocking enough to talk about it. It is as if “the game” had to be something that Oscar
was born with. Apparently Oscar was born with it but as he grew older he lost it which is
quite unfortunate. Even the sentence before this quote the narrator also says “Anywhere
else his triple-zero batting average with the ladies might have passed without comment,
but this is a Dominican kid we’re talking about, in a Dominican family: dude was
supposed to have Atomic Level G, was supposed to be pulling in the bitches with both
hands.” That quote explains everything! Oscar was obviously the odd ball of the family
and people were just appalled with his strange ways. It was as if Oscar was placed in the
wrong family. Oscar is just trying to find where he belongs. It is evident that he cant fit in
anywhere. He couldn’t fit in back in New York and certainly not in the Dominican
Republic where he was a complete outsider.
On the other hand the narrator, Yunior has it all. He definitely has the
characteristics that the Dominican male is generally supposed to have. Yunior is basically
one of the major symbols in the novel of how a typical Dominican is supposed to be like.
Yuniors’ presence in the novel helps demonstrate to the readers who don’t know what a
typical Dominican male is supposed to be like. Yunior tends to sleep with more than one
girl whenever he is given the chance which is pretty frequent in the novel. Oscar’s Tio
Rudolpho is also another perfect example. Rudolpho was always encouraging Oscar to
sleep with women, he tried to make Oscar another version of himself but Oscar failed to
accept the tips. Both Yunior and Tio Rudolpho tried to help Oscar out with his
masculinity but it never seemed to work out. Oscar didn’t understand why he had to be
this certain way. He didn’t understand why he couldn’t just find a girl who had the same
perspective as him. Oscar didn’t like the idea of sleeping with random girls that he had no
feelings for. While the typical Dominican males were out looking for the ladies Oscar
was most likely buying the newest edition of a Star Trek everything and anything.
The gangster was also a major representative of how a typical Dominican male
should be. The gangster was just a straight up player. On page 123 going into 124 the
narrator describes the Gangster “…the Gangster was a man of the world, had fucked
more prietas than you could count. He didn’t care about that shit.” The Gangster was
obviously the most masculine of all characters in the novel; he was the biggest typical
Dominican male in the novel. I feel that Dominican females are attracted to the typical
Dominican males and that’s how the typical Dominican male gets so many girls, that’s
why the females didn’t pay attention to Oscar, and that’s why Belicia was attracted to the
Gangster and Lola was attracted to Yunior. The Gangster had a wife whom was Trujillo’s
sister and had his girl on the side whom was Belicia (Oscar’s mother). He got Belicia
pregnant and created an illusion in her head that made her feel as if she was his one and
only. Belicia would have never imagined that he was a married man. Who knows how
many other girls he had. But it was okay for him to be the unfaithful man that he was
because…he’s Dominican and he always has tohave this specific image. He has to prove
that he can get girls and that he is a true Dominican. On page 138 the second paragraph
says “The Gangster had told Beli many things in the course of their relationship, but there
was one important item he’d failed to reveal. That he was married. I’m sure you all
guessed that. I mean, he was dominicano, after all.” Since he was Dominican it wasn’t
shocking that he was unfaithful because it was part of the characteristics of every typical
Dominican male. Being Dominican made it okay for the Gangster to treat Belicia the way
he did. It was a typical thing of him to do due to how he was raised and where he was
from. That must be difficult for the girls to find a good Dominican significant other but
maybe they liked them like that. Oscar was definitely faithful, if he had a girl he would
stick to that one girl and give her his all and not share. Obviously no girl wanted Oscar
therefore the girls most likely liked the typical Dominican males like the Gangster, Tio
Rudolpho and Yunior who don’t really care about how the women feel or anything they
just want to use and throw her away when she’s useless.
The stereotype of the typical Dominican male continues everytime a male is born
into a family. Oscar had the potential to break that cycle. The Dominican females don’t
acknowledge how low they are when they seek a relationship with a typical Dominican
male. They Dominicans wouldn’t like for their daughters or sisters to get played like that
so why do they continue training the males of the family to be a typical Dominican?
Oscar had a very different state of mind and possibly those questions ran through his
head several times in his brief life.
In conclusion a typical Dominican male is expected to act a certain way and he is
excused for doing unfaithful things because that’s the way things should be. The
Dominican male has the power and he has a better say than the females. It seems as if the
Dominican females don’t mind though because they give the impression that they like the
masculinity in the Dominican males. When they search for a guy they first see his
masculinity rather than his personality and who he really is. I feel that the Dominican
females didn’t know any better because although they are females they are affected by
the expectations of a typical Dominican make as well. The Dominican females have
feelings too. They just don’t know they can do better because they were raised thinking
that guys should be that way. So who could blame the females for their bad judgment in
men? This all shows why Oscar had no luck in the ladies department. Oscar didn’t care
about his appearance, he was aware of how to be the typical Dominican male because he
obviously had many influences but he chose not to be that way, for his own certain
reasons. Oscar’s decision on not living up to these families’ expectations made him an
outsider everywhere he went. In the end he ended up falling in love and he actually lost
his virginity before he died. On page 174 Oscar had said to Yunior “I have heard from a
reliable source that no Dominican male has ever died a virgin. You who have experience
in these matters-do you think this is true?” and Yunior responded “O, it’s against the laws
of nature for a dominicano to die without fucking at least once.” Although Oscar didn’t
look like a typical Dominican male or necessarily act like one this goes to show that
every Dominican male has his own masculinity inside. Oscar’s goal had been
accomplished. He wanted to fall in love and lose his virginity before he died. On page
334 in Oscars final letter he speaks about his intimacies with Ybon “He wrote that he
couldn’t believe he’d had to wait for this so goddamn long.” Apparently Oscar couldn’t
believe all that he had missed out on and he probably thought if he had listened to Tio
Rudolpho, Yunior,
followed the steps of the Gangster and listened to everyone else he could’ve experienced
it a long time ago. The last sentence of page 334 and basically of the whole novel says
“He wrote: So this is what everybody’s always talking about! Diablo! If only I’d known.
The beauty! The beauty!” Oscar obviously did regret waiting so long to experience this
himself. I feel that although he was previously talking about his intimacies with Ybon,
this last quote isn’t quite exactly all about the sex. He was also talking about love and
how he had a woman at his side who he loved and he believed loved him back.
Throughout the novel one of his main goals was to find love and find someone who could
accept him the way that he was. I wonder if Ybon actually did love him or if she just felt
bad for the poor guy and just gave him what he wanted. In the end it didn’t really matter
whether Ybon slept with random guys the important thing was that she was at his side
and she gave him the time of day. In the end Oscar achieved his goals and hey maybe his
reliable source and Yunior were right…No Dominican man dies a virgin. I’m sure his
mother was proud.