Mr. Everhart
Room 218
Third Marking Period Menu
11th Grade English
3rd Nine Weeks
3 rd Nine Weeks
Mr. Everhart
Room 218
Composition 9: Passionate Poem
PROMPT: Write a poem that expresses any strong emotion—that is, create a poem that is
“passionate.” If you have ever felt strongly about anything in your life, if you have ever
experienced anything intensely, this assignment is custom made for you.
Focus Skills
1. Spelling
2. 16 Lines Minimum
3. First-Person Narrative Mode
4. Passionate Tone [Square 5 Sensory Images/Vivid Verbs]
5. Underline 1 Set of Parallel Phrases
Bonus: +5 typed, +2 title, +2 vocabulary
Mega-Tips for Content Development

Do not try to rhyme, since rhyme can destroy passion and often get in the way of
choosing the most passionate words. Writers get so caught up in choosing rhyming words that
they forget all about the vivid verb or sensory word that will sound more passionate. There’s
nothing too passionate about “Humpty-Dumpty sat on a wall/ Humpty-Dumpty had a great fall,” is
there?

Write about a personal experience—but feel free to fictionalize. What is personal is
usually more passionate.

Envision this poem as a mini-mini-story.

Before you write, create an idea bank: that is, write out the brief story line for the poem in
one sentence, and then free-write a list of any phrases or impressions that come to mind when
you reflect on the event. Aim for sensory impressions especially. See the model idea bank
below for the student poem that follows.
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Mr. Everhart
Room 218
Model Idea Bank
Story Line: Hurt by my girlfriend’s insults, I fantasize about causing her equal pain by driving my
car on a suicide mission into the trees in front of her house.
Impressions: tiny shards of glass sprinkling over the grass, your heart cut like a blade, empty
cold road, sees her reflection in the ambulance ceiling
Making a Scene
Sometimes I’d rather drive into those trees,
The ones by your house,
Than think of all the condescension
That streams* from your mouth.
You’d see the tiny shards of glass
Sprinkling over your lawn,
Perhaps one piercing your ribs
Like a serrated blade
Before I am gone.
The surgeon will not cut more of me to pieces
Than your words have,
And so as I sit here on this empty road
Asking how I got
So cold
So far
From being able to apologize,
I swear that tonight
I can almost see your reflection
In the ambulance ceiling.
[* note italicized passionate words]
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Mr. Everhart
Room 218
Model Idea Bank
Story Line: I go to New York to visit my dad, hoping we can patch up our relationship; instead, he
takes me to a trashy bar where an old man hits on me.
Impressions: smoky air, an aging bar-whore with black bra strap, gold-chained Italian, grunting
old man leering at me, black 8-ball on green velvet pool table
An Upstate Reunion
it’s been a while
since I’ve seen him
new home, you know, upstate New York
damn proud of it, my father
he takes me to The Frog’s Hop
to watch him play pool
I sit at the smoky bar
watching
nothing more, nothing less
he lines up his shot
a bar whore makes her rounds
sports a button-up sweater
with too much cleavage
a black strap falls from her withered
shoulder
he takes his shot
an Italian man with a clear smoker’s voice steps
outside
he is covered in gold, head to toe
light- inhale-exhale-repeat
solid black sails against velvet green
the old man beside me orders another JD
downs it with a grunt and a bitter face
gives me the once over
I shudder
drop
wins the game, all right,
loses his daughter
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3 rd Nine Weeks
Mr. Everhart
Room 218
Gettysburg Address: Parallelism Practice and Bonus for 2nd/3rd 9-Weeks
"Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a
new nation, conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition that all men are
created equal. Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that
nation or any nation so conceived and so dedicated can long endure. We are met
on a great battlefield of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field
as a final resting-place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might
live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this. But in a larger
sense, we cannot dedicate, we cannot consecrate, we cannot hallow this ground.
The brave men, living and dead who struggled here have consecrated it far
above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note nor long
remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for
us the living rather to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who
fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here
dedicated to the great task remaining before us--that from these honored dead
we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full
measure of devotion--that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have
died in vain, that this nation under God shall have a new birth of freedom, and
that government of the people, by the people, for the people shall not perish from
the earth."
On another sheet of paper, list all 15 sets of parallelism in Lincoln’s speech as
follows:
#15. of the…, for the…, by the…
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Mr. Everhart
Room 218
Composition 10: Childhood Experience Poem
PROMPT: Reflect on an incident or experience from your childhood that has had enough
significance for you that you have remembered it all of these years. Write a narrative poem
recreating that experience or memory.
Focus Skills
1. Spelling
2. 16 Lines Minimum
3. First-Person Narrative Mode
4. Descriptive Diction [Square 5 Sensory Images/Vivid Verbs]
5. Underline 1 Set of Parallel Phrases
Bonus: +5 typed, +2 title, +2 vocabulary
Mega-Tips for Content Development

Envision this poem as a mini-mini-story told from your first-person point of view reflecting
back years ago.

Before you write, create an idea bank: that is, write out the brief story line for the poem in
a one sentence, and then free-write a list of any phrases or impressions that come to mind when
you reflect on the event. Aim for sensory impressions especially. See the model idea bank
below for the student poem that follows.

Include memorable or meaningful dialogue periodically.
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Mr. Everhart
Room 218
Model Idea Bank
Story Line: Dared by my friends, I jump from a hayloft into a pile of hay—and feel truly alive.
Impressions: the loft, ladder seemed taller than a tree, wooden rafters, death waiting below, pile
of straw, itchy, some up sleeves, explosions of dust, sun shining through cracks in barn wall, dust
suspended in the air, time stands still, gentle landing, high-fives
I am Whole
It is forbidden
And so it seduces us like a guiding voice.
First the check to ensure no one is here,
We behold the loft—
Where no child dare tread.
My stomach sinks in front of a ladder
That soars higher than the ancient catalpas in the yard.
“What? You scared?”
Such questions are not really questions.
“Nah, let’s do it.”
We climb.
Higher and higher, our destination joyously concrete:
The wooden rafters above.
Death licks its lips on the floor below,
An image I block from my eyes.
I obey the feet ahead of me,
Thirty feet might as well be a mile,
The loose straw below me jagged stones.
But already they plunge
In a whirl of raw passion
That explodes in clouds of dust and straw.
“Come on,” they urge.
I look down
And feel the afternoon sun through the cracks in the wall,
My feet fixed to the rafter beneath me,
Weighing for the moment the peculiar dangers
Of self-preservation.
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Mr. Everhart
Room 218
There is no choice.
I swallow deeply and exhale
And soon am weightless,
Falling to some uncertain outcome,
Hurtled downward with all of gravity’s wrath,
And in midair I find time irrelevant enough
To feel a blasé communion
With dust particles suspended in streaks of light,
Until at last a gentle golden landing reaches up for me.
Low-laughter and high-fives,
A few shakes of itchy straw from shirt sleeves.
I am whole.
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Mr. Everhart
Room 218
Model Idea Bank
Story line: My father makes a fool out of himself catching fireflies in our back yard.
Impressions: dusk, crickets, coolness of night, embers sprinkled from a fire, glowing like fairy
dust, electric darkness, miraculous, phosphorescence
Phosphorescence
It is a ritual of summer—
We sit on the porch steps
In the still July dusk
The crickets trilling in the coming coolness.
And we wait.
They come from the blackness beneath the trees,
Their lights aglow like fairy dust,
Yellow-green embers sprinkled from a celestial fire.
“Catch,” I shout.
So you lope through the grass
Slick with dew and other treacheries.
It’s a game of trajectory.
You aim inches, sometimes yards ahead of the lights,
Never sure what course they have taken since the last
signal.
You work on hunches in an electric darkness.
Off-balance, you dive for a shadow
And fall gracelessly.
“You miss,” I howl from the steps.
After repeated falls,
You return the magic quarry to my cupped hands,
And I watch the glow come on like a switch.
I burn to hold it tight,
To possess the phosphorescent miracle forever.
But I let it go.
“Daddy, catch another,” I beg.
And you do.
Because there are thousands of miracles
About tonight,
About this moment,
And the game is not really about bugs.
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Mr. Everhart
Because I Could Not Stop for
Death
Because I could not stop for DeathHe kindly stopped for MeThe Carriage held but just
OurselvesAnd ImmortalityWe slowly drove- He knew no
hasteAnd I had put away
My Labor- and my Leisure tooFor his Civility-
Room 218
Apparently With No Surprise
Apparently with no surprise
To any happy Flower-The Frost beheads it at its play
In accidental Power.
The blonde Assassin passes
on—
The Sun proceeds unmoved—
To measure off another Day
For an Approving God.
We passed the school where
children played
At Recess in a RingWe passed the fields of Gazing
GrainWe passed the setting SunOr rather He passed usThe Dews grew quivering and chillFor only gossamer was my gown
My Tippet- only TulleWe paused before a House that
seemed
A swelling of the GroundThe roof was scarcely visibleThe cornice in the GroundSince then ’tis centuries- but
Feels shorter than a Day
I fI I first surmised the Horses’ heads
Were toward Eternity.
3rd Nine Weeks
3 rd Nine Weeks
Mr. Everhart
Room 218
Composition 11: Student’s Choice Poem
PROMPT: Write a poem on any topic whatsoever, as long as it follows the focus skill guidelines
below.
Focus Skills
1. Spelling
2. 16 Lines Minimum
3. Underline 1 Set of Parallel Phrases
4. Descriptive Diction [Square 5 Sensory Images/Vivid Verbs]
Bonus: +5 typed, +2 title, +2 vocabulary
Composition 12: Essay Exam on Whitman’s War
Poems
PROMPT: Analyze how Whitman’s tone toward the Civil War shifts from resentful to sad to
accepting in three poems from his book Drum-taps.
INTRODUCTION: America has recently engaged in war with Iraq and terrorist groups in
Afghanistan. From your perspective, what tones or attitudes have Americans—you or your
friends or your family included—expressed about these modern wars. Did you notice any attitude
changes as these wars took shape? If so, what may have accounted for those changes in
attitude?
CONCLUSION: Summarize Whitman’s three tones and indicate what you believe Whitman had to
learn about life before he could learn to accept war as he did in his final poem.
RREQUIRED RESEARCH: You must include at least 3 MLA style citations within your essay
and a works cited page at the end of your essay or the highest score you can receive is an
80%/B-. +5 Bonus for an additional source cited
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Focus Skills for Exam Grade [PSSA 5-Step Pyramid] 10 Points per Skill
50 points
Are Details Relevant? [TS/Subs]
Are Details Developed? [3.5 Pages]
Are Details Accurate? [No Errors in Text Facts]
Are Details Specific? [at least 3 Cited Quotes & Refer to Text—what happens, what is
said?]
Are Details Interpretive & Insightful [“Perhaps…”—why does it happen, why is it said?]
Focus Skills for Essay Final Copy Grade, 10 Points per Skill
50 points
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Spelling
Frag/Run
TS/Subs/Intro./Concl
SV Agreement
Concrete Diction (no thing, stuff, nice, it)
*3 Citations / MLA Works Cited Required
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Mr. Everhart
Room 218
Whitman, Walt. “Beat! Beat! Drums!” Drum-Taps. New York: Myerson, 1861
Beat! Beat! Drums!—blow! Bugles! Blow!
Through the windows—through doors—burst like a ruthless force,
Into the solemn church, and scatter the congregation,
Into the school where the scholar is studying;
Leave not the bridegroom quiet—no happiness must he have now with
his bride,
Nor the peaceful farmer any peace, ploughing his field or gathering
his grain,
So fierce you whirr and pound you drums—so shrill you bugles blow.
Beat! Beat! Drums!—blow! Bugles! Blow!
Over the traffic of cities—over the rumble of wheels in the streets;
Are beds prepared for sleepers at night in the houses? No sleepers
must sleep in those beds,
No bargainers’ bargains by day—no brokers or speculators—would
they continue?
Would the talkers be talking? Would the singer attempt to sing?
Would the lawyer rise in the court to state his case before the judge?
Then rattle quicker, heavier drums—you bugles wilder blow.
Beat! Beat! Drums!—blow! Bugles! Blow!
Make no parley—stop for no expostulation,
Mind not the timid—mind not the weeper or prayer,
Mind not the old man beseeching the young man,
Let not the child’s voice be heard, nor the mother’s entreaties,
Make even the trestles to shake the dead where they lie awaiting the
hearses,
So strong you thump O terrible drums—so loud you bugles blow.
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Specificity-builder Tips:
In one sentence, summarize the basic story-line of this poem.
The drums and bugles in this poem symbolize the coming of the war. As you
read, underline three words that express Whitman’s anger toward the war music
[and therefore anger towards the war itself]. What do these three words mean—
and what do they suggest about the nature of war?
As you read, circle people whose peaceful lives are affected by the war and its
music, angering the poet.
Insight-builder Tips:
Why might an angry Walt Whitman have focused his poem on so many civilians
instead of battle scenes or soldiers? What’s he implying about the effects of
war?
Why might Whitman have ended his poem focused on the dead in their coffins?
What may he be implying about the ultimate goal and outcome of warfare?
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Mr. Everhart
Room 218
Whitman, Walt. “The Unknown Road”. Drum-Taps. New York: Myerson, 1863.
A march in the ranks hard-prest, and the road unknown,
A route through a heavy wood with muffled steps in the darkness,
Our army foil’d with loss severe, and the sullen remnant retreating,
Till after midnight glimmer upon us the lights of a dim-lighted building,
We come to an open space in the woods, and halt…
’Tis a large old church at the crossing roads, now an impromptu hospital,
Entering but for a minute I see a sight beyond all the pictures and
poems ever made,
Shadows of deepest, deepest black, just lit by moving candles and lamps,
And by one great pitchy torch with wild red flame and clouds of smoke,
By these, crowds, groups of corpses vaguely I see on the floor,
Some in the pews laid down,
At my feet more distinctly a soldier, a mere lad, in danger of
bleeding to death, (he is shot in the abdomen,)
I stanch the blood temporarily, (the youngster’s face is white as a lily,)
Then before I depart I sweep my eyes o’er the scene fain to absorb it all,
Faces, varieties, postures beyond description, most in obscurity,
some of them dead,
Surgeons operating, attendants holding lights, the smell of ether,
odor of blood,
The crowd, O the crowd of the bloody forms, the yard outside also fill’d,
Some on the bare ground, some on planks or stretchers, some in the
death-spasm sweating,
An occasional scream or cry, the doctor’s shouted orders or calls,
I smell the odor.
Then hear outside the orders given, Fall in, my men, fall in;
But first I bend to the dying lad, his eyes open, a half-smile gives he me,
Then the eyes close, calmly close, and I speed forth to the darkness,
Resuming, marching, ever in darkness marching, on in the ranks,
The unknown road still marching.
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Specificity –builder Tips
Re-cap the events in this poem that contribute to the poet’s sadness—all that the
poet sees, hears, and smells in the church; what the church is being used for
versus what a church should be used for; the sad details of his interaction with
the boy.
Circle any color imagery in the poem. What is the predominant color—and why,
symbolically, does this particular color contribute to the sad tone?
Insight-builder Tips
How does the poet’s focusing the poem on a boy instead of on a man affect the
tone of the poem?
Consider the simile and color imagery for the dying boy. What do lilies and
whiteness traditionally symbolize? What might the boy’s death symbolize, then?
Explore possible meanings of the title and how it may also convey sadness.
Consider the many “unknowns” that any soldier must face each day.
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Mr. Everhart
Room 218
Whitman, Walt. “Give Me”. Drum-Taps. New York: Myerson, 1865.
Give me interminable eyes—give me women—give me comrades and lovers by the thousand!
Let me see new ones every day—let me hold new ones by the hand every day!
Give me such shows—give me the streets of Manhattan!
Give me Broadway, with the soldiers marching—give me the sound of the trumpets and drums!
(The soldiers in companies or regiments—some starting away, flush’d and reckless,
Some, their time up, returning with thinn’d ranks, young, yet very old, worn, marching, noticing
nothing;)
Give me the shores and wharves heavy-fringed with black war ships!
O such for me! O an intense life, full to repletion and varied!
The life of the theatre, bar-room, huge hotel, for me!
The saloon of the steamer! The crowded excursion for me! The torchlight procession!
The dense brigade bound for the war, with high piled military wagons following;
People, endless, streaming, with strong voices, passions, pageants,
Manhattan streets with their powerful throbs, with beating drums as now,
The endless and noisy chorus, the rustle and clank of muskets (even the sight of the wounded),
Manhattan crowds, with their turbulent musical chorus!
Manhattan faces and eyes forever for me.
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Specificity –builder Tips
What is the occasion for this Manhattan celebration?
How does Whitman’s reaction to this celebration signal his acceptance of the
war? What two often repeated words express that acceptance?
Underline all of the military words and images for which Whitman expresses
acceptance. Which of these images could the poet not accept in the previous
two poems?
Insight-builder Tips
What realizations might Whitman have had at the close of the Civil War that
enabled him to see some value in the bloodshed? What positive effects did the
bloodshed have on American society that may have stimulated Whitman’s joy at
this parade?
The Manhattan parade in this poem may symbolize the parade of life, which we
all know is filled with both pleasure and pain, peace and war, good and evil.
What realization about the “parade of life” might Whitman have come to that
allowed him to accept all the death and destruction that he witnessed in the
earlier poems?
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Mr. Everhart
Room 218
How to Climb the Five-Point PSSA Scoring
Pyramid
Write enough . [3.5 pages]
Stay relevant to the subtopics, unlike the student who wrote this last year:
Whitman might have meant all sorts of things by using words like ruthless and fierce to describe
the music in “Beat! Beat! Drums”. I certainly would not describe the music as ruthless. Most of
the music that I listen to is pretty wild, but not in a ruthless sort of way. I mean, good music can
have a conscience.
Be accurate, unlike this student:
In “The Unknown Road” there are pictures hanging all over the walls and a man who is gut shot
dies. The poet must leave the man behind because he has to go on fighting to free the slaves.
Quote important word choices that contribute to the tone and recap only those
events that capture the tone. Be specific.
Whitman used at least four phrases that painted a dark picture in the impromptu hospital. He
described the building as “dim-lighted,” covered in “shadows of deepest, deepest black,” and
related how soldiers had to keep marching in “darkness forever.”
Music even disrupted the dead in “Beat! Beat! Drums!” since the drums shook the stands which
supported coffins set for burial. As with the bridegroom at his wedding and the farmer in his field,
the war intrudes on everyone equally.
Interpret. This means explaining why the poet chose the words he did, what
his words might symbolize, or why he included a certain event. You are not
just telling what was said or what happened but are reading between the lines
to infer why he said it or why it happened. The words perhaps or maybe can
get you into this type of response.
Perhaps the boy’s face in “The Unknown Road” is described as “white as a lily” because
everything else in the poem is so dismally black. While the blackness of the rest of the poem
creates a sad tone, the white of the boy’s face makes it even sadder because lilies symbolize
purity and goodness, both of which die when he dies. It is as if Whitman is implying that…
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Mr. Everhart
Room 218
Composition 13: Writing a Short Story
PROMPT: Write a short story in which a character must deal with a conflict.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
Focus Skills
4.5 Pages of Rough Copy
Spelling
Show What Your Characters are Like
Follow a Pattern of Conflict
1-3 Scenes with a 2-Page Minimum per Scene
Maintain Same Point of View
Develop Setting w/ Sensory Details
Write Effective Dialogue
Mega-Tips for Content Development
 Write from 1st person point of view and personal experience. Everyday events and real
life often make better high school-level stories.
 Do not turn you characters into “cartoons”—that is, try to portray them as real people with
real human complexities and real lives—and real names. Fiction tries to hold a mirror up
to reality and portray real life—make this your aim.
Planning Stage 1: Showing What Your Characters Are Like
5 points
Ever since we were in kindergarten, it has been more fun to show than to tell. What was true in
the grade school game is also true in the fiction writing game—our audience has more fun when
we show them what our characters are like instead of spoiling the game by telling, telling, telling.
Below are three tell statements. Using sensory images and descriptive details, let’s rewrite these
sentences to show instead of tell.
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

Joe looked both cool and a bit dangerous on the lobby bench.
Elise was nervous as Joe approached her.
Mrs. McCready’s dog sure put the ug in ugly.
Now, identify a major character in your story. It need not be the main character, but it can be.
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Mr. Everhart
Room 218
Stage 1: Showing Character Traits
character’s name:________________________
5 points
Appearance
Write one descriptive sentence about your character’s appearance or manner of dress that shows
something about his/her personality. Example: Emma’s fishnet stockings seemed held together
by more than a few nail polish patch jobs.
Actions
Write one descriptive sentence about your character’s actions, postures, facial expressions, or
gestures that shows his/her personality. Example: Emma paused before the display window at
Victoria’s Secret, concentrating intently, not so much on the splash of pink merchandise but on
her reflection in the glass.
Words
Write one line of dialogue that shows something significant about your character’s personality.
Example: “Know what I’ve concluded about men, Jessie? They’re sort of like elephants. Some
are okay to look at, but you wouldn’t want to own one.”
What Other Characters Say
Write a line of dialogue spoken about your character by another character, a line that again
shows something about your character’s personality. Example: “Yah, I seen her. Bit of a doorknob, that girl. Everyone gets a turn.”
Attitudes/Personal Tastes & Thoughts
To show your character’s attitudes, complete the following questionnaire from his/her pt. of view.
Most valued personal possession:
Most important person in his/her life:
A pivotal event that has shaped his/her life:
A favorite activity or pursuit:
What most annoys or angers him/her:
His/her biggest regret:
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Room 218
Planning Stage 2: Follow a Pattern of Conflict
5 points
Author Kurt Vonnegut has observed that in every good story, a character wants something but
struggles to get it because of some type of obstacle. The character tries to take action to get
what he wants but at the same time he is acted upon by forces he cannot always control [bad
luck, bad timing, other characters, nature]. Whether he gets what he desires is not important,
only that he realizes something about life or self or changes in some way after the dust of the
conflict has settled.
What does your main character want?
Why can’t your character easily get what he wants? In other words, what’s the obstacle?
What action will your character take in the story to deal with his problem—and how might outside
forces beyond his control complicate his efforts?
What might your character end up realizing about life or about himself (or how might he change in
some way) as a result of his struggles?
PSSA WRITTEN RESPONSE PRACTICE QUIZ 20 points
After reading “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?” by Joyce Carol Oates, explain
how the story’s conflict follows Vonnegut’s four-part pattern described above. Your paragraph
should include details that are relevant to the prompt and topic sentence, be developed for 1page of lined composition paper, be accurate in details used from the reading passage, be
specific in terms of explanations and quoted passages, and be interpretive about reading
between and beyond the lines with personal insight. The underlines and text-boxes within the
story will guide you to relevant passages for Want, Obstacle, Action/Complication, and
Realization.
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Room 218
Stage 3: Scene Writing Guidelines
5 points
Below, map out who will appear in each scene, what will happen, and where it will happen. As
you do so, try to limit your story's time frame to no more than a few days, possibly even one day,
or one hour even…a slice of life, not a whole life's story! Scene 1 should hint at what the conflict
is and no scene should ever be less than 2 pages handwritten…don't rush it with 10 short,
choppy scenes. It's better to write one carefully detailed scene.
Scene 1
Where It Happens:
Who's In It:
What Happens (include detail of how conflict will be introduced):
Scene 2
Where It Happens:
Who's In It:
What Happens:
Scene 3
Where It Happens:
Who's In It:
What Happens:
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Mr. Everhart
Room 218
Stage 4: Maintaining a Point of View
5 points
The golden rule of narrators: Never switch types! Either have a character tell the story [1st
person] or you, the author who is not a character in the story, must tell it[3rd person]. Below, take
notes on the advantages and drawbacks of each narrator type, and then write the opening
paragraph of your story from one of these points of view.
Type of Narrator
1st Person
Advantage
Disadvantage
3rd Person
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________________________________________________
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Mr. Everhart
Room 218
Stage 5: Develop Setting w/ Sensory Details
5 points
Write a half-page description of a place from your scene plan. Be sure to describe the place
through the character's eye, use powerful sensory words, identify a fitting place name at some
point.
Which setting passage below would you find more interesting to read and why?
[A]
Sam entered 200-B and as usual took his seat in the third row where the rays from the morning
sun soaked his desk and highlighted the graffiti scrawled there by generations of bored
trigonometry students. Under the desks lurked wads of chewing gum, while the ceiling, which
was sound-proof and manufactured in Dayton, Ohio, was dotted with precisely 1,876,987 holes.
The floor tiles, which were constructed of industrial strength vinyl, were marred by a swirl of scuff
marks that disrupted their cream and green pattern. Samantha sat in front of him.
[B]
Sam entered 200-B and slid into the seat beside her. She was his reality at the moment, his
future or his doom. He didn't care which. The buzz of his balding trigonometry instructor faded
from his mind, blocked out by her playful giggle that trickled like water through the warm June air.
The sun soaked the room and lit her hair a fiery bronze. He saw how her tanned hand lay across
her graffitied desk and was struck by the contrast of beauty against obscenity, though, he had to
admit, his intentions were every bit as obscene.
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Stage 6: Write Effective Dialogue
5 points
Locate a scene in your Stage 3 scene plan where a conversation will take place. No phone calls,
please! Follow these ground rules for effective dialogue to write a brief dialogue in your story:



So that it is clear visually to your reader when one character stops talking and another
starts talking, indent whenever characters switch speaking—but do not separate a quote
from its tag.
To avoid annoying redundancy, drop your tags if the dialogue is long or if it is clear to the
reader who is speaking.
To avoid monotony, swing the fictional pendulum between dialogue and description.
Describe your character’s actions, appearance, thoughts, or the setting whenever they
are not talking.
Where Scene Takes Place:
Characters Speaking:
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~The Last Waking Hours of Henry Milton~
The sounds emanating from Henry Milton’s mouth were neither human nor
animal, but something too primal to be grasped by those surrounding him. The goosebump groans scraped the very depths of his stomach pit, echoed through his vocal
cords, amplified through the cramped room. And Henry Milton was suddenly terrified.
Faced with his fast-approaching death, he disintegrated into the prepubescent boy of his
fading youth, wet-faced and desperate in the locker room of his hulking tormentors. This
was the end, and Henry Milton, age 87, was anything but ready to let go. His wife
Marianne continued to ring the blood out of his left hand. The congregation of relatives
and friends gathered patiently in a semicircle around the bed, waiting for that fateful hour
which would be his last. He lay there, drifting in and out of consciousness, growing ever
more aware of the somber priest that awaited him in the doorway.
When Henry Milton was six years old, he decided to conduct an experiment in
the pond in his back yard. After a two-hour search, he captured a large bullfrog, around
which Henry tied a heavy rock with a length of string. He dropped the frantic creature in
the pond and watched curiously as it sank slowly to the bottom, weighed down by the
stone. The frog desperately continued to swim in an upward motion, combating
nature’s cruel laws as the air slowly pumped out of its lungs. Henry squatted above it
and watched. He waited and wondered what would happen. But minutes passed, his
young limbs twitched with impatience, and his mother finally called him in for supper.
The next day, Henry returned to the pond and noticed the light red tint that the water had
assumed. He searched the water intently for the cause and was horrified to see the
bullfrog’s limp body submerged on the pond’s bottom. The deep lacerations on its body
had been caused by the strain of the string against the creature’s flailing upward thrusts.
Henry wanted to scream but found no sound in his lungs. Gasping for breath, he
ultimately relieved his grief through a few salty tears. He ran through his yard
whimpering, ripping the leaves off of branches and tearing them to shreds. He was so
enraged by his actions, by the rash impulse and brash curiosity that led him to commit
such a monstrosity. Now on his deathbed, such defining memories washed over him,
flooding his thoughts during brief moments of clarity, losing his own battle against natural
law. He remembered every detail about that day – the gray-purple haze of the sky, the
soft, whispery aura of the warm Michigan air, the damp coolness of the ground. The
trees rustled at the bullfrog’s funeral, Henry’s calloused feet sinking into the moist earth,
remorse blurring his “Eulogy for an Amphibian.” This experience shaped him as a
person in an indescribably profound way. It lent him a quiet sensitivity, a slightly
introverted nature, a great appreciation for the beautiful and diverse life forms that filled
the planet. It was a life-altering moment, one that marked him with an artistic
temperament and mellow nature that characterized his difficult adolescence and
subdued his lust for life.
Snapshot moments from his life such as this passed before him like old newsreel
footage. He remembered how his grandmother’s bones felt like they were swimming
underneath her paper-thin skin when he visited her in the hospital as a child. Adopting
his first dog from the Humane Society. Being infatuated with his third grade teacher.
Learning that parents can separate and find new partners, as his did. How he hadn’t
celebrated his sixteenth birthday. The painfully long last years of high school. And, of
course, Nadia.
Henry Milton had fallen in love only once in his life, at twenty-one. He had
spotted her on the college campus greens, reading a copy of Howard Zinn’s A People’s
History of the United States, and fell head first into an all-consuming passion that he was
little equipped to deal with. He watched her from a distance for upwards of a month.
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Their first conversation, which finally happened in the cafeteria line, went something like
this:
“You like grapes?” he mustered up the courage to ask her, seeing a bowl-full of
fruit on her tray.
“Yeah, but I like guys who have better pick-up lines than that even better,” she
replied.
Henry Milton, unable to mask his shock, choked on the spittle in his throat and
blushed severely. Nadia noticed his bewildered embarrassment and interjected
mercifully, “It’s okay…I’m just kidding.” She laughed.
Henry offered a few chuckles, more relieved than amused.
“Yeah…okay.” With this he ended the conversation, albeit prematurely.
Now lying on his deathbed, Henry Milton chuckled, genuinely amused, at the
lung-constricting moments that he had had with Nadia when they first met. He was shy,
awkwardly unfamiliar with the world of women. And she had consumed his entire being,
eclipsing every other aspect of his life. After a few more decidedly less inept meetings,
Henry miraculously managed to win her over. She was mysterious and bewildering.
Alive and vivacious in a way that was completely opposite Henry’s nature. They were
together for only a few months, however, when Nadia began to grow weary of Henry’s
seemingly taciturn and docile manner. She misconstrued this as emptiness, a gross
indifference that sooner or later would reveal that he did not care for her. She left just as
quickly as she came. The emotional implications of both of these events were too much
for him to handle. Henry Milton began to cry without noticing it.
“Honey, what’s wrong?” he heard his wife Marianne ask. “Are you in pain,
sweetheart?”
He could not answer. The priest did instead.
“It’s a natural reaction the body undergoes moments before leaving us. It’s
nothing to worry about.” His voice had an eerie quality to it that resonated through the
crowded room. The congregation shifted uneasily.
Henry was insulted by the way the priest’s black robe acted as such a blatant
preview of his impending funeral. He tightly grasped the clean white sheets. This bed in
which he had slept for the last forty years was so unfamiliar, with its freshly bleached,
crisply folded starchy fabrics. It seemed stiff, as if his body rested only above the
mattress, unable to sink in. The bed was altered and improved to bid Henry Milton
farewell. He noticed how unfamiliar the entire room felt, the off-beige carpet and light
blue wallpaper so foreign. The old odor of fresh ink and cat litter was now smothered
beneath a heavy mist of industrial-strength disinfectant and cleanser that gave off a mist
more sterile than a hospital room. His pillow swallowed his disheveled, sweaty head of
hair. His wife’s ever-strong perfume offered him no comfort. Marianne looked so
grotesque, her tears and eye makeup staining the sheets, her face deteriorating into a
fleshy red pulp. She sniveled loudly.
Henry and Marianne’s marriage was straight out of a Jane Austen novel. It was
practically arranged by their parents, their families linked through generations of
business dealings. But he was forty and she thirty-five, so Henry knew that very few
opportunities would present themselves hence. All traces of youthful ambition and
idealism had long been washed away, weathered by year upon year at his import-export
cubicle job. But Marianne proved to be a dutiful wife. Idyllic, even. The two simulated
happiness together, distanced by all those things they refused to admit to each other.
They shared a bed but nothing more. He never really loved her. He had to admit. A
few years into marriage they decided to adopt a Russian orphan named Alexander, both
secretly hoping that this new life would create a useful distraction in those long moments
of empty silence that plagued them. The three lived in uneventful faux-contentment. He
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drove to work everyday, forever haunted by the life that he could have lead. She cooked
and cleaned, just as desperate, but hiding it better under layers of makeup and shy
smiles. But she looked so sad now. It was as if all the affection she had ever felt toward
him was compacted into her grief, which contorted her face and made the blue veins on
her cheeks stand out. Perhaps she did love him. They had spent forty-seven years
together. Henry Milton began to cry profusely.
“Father, I…I…think he…” Marianne could not verbalize the end that she saw in
her husband’s eyes.
The priest dramatically descended to the other side of the bed and began to
speak to him in mournful tones.
“Henry, now is the time to confess your sins. God is listening. You will be joining
him any minute now. Are you ready? Say what is on your mind.”
‘Where is this God now?’ he wished to say. ‘Where has he been all of my life?’
As Henry Milton aged, he grew increasingly bitter and frustrated with his disposition, and
found the only scapegoat in the forces of the universe that were throwing his life off
balance. He felt he had done nothing to deserve this life of quiet desperation that was
now going to end. ‘When you bury me, bury me standing up so that I may face this God
eye to eye when I finally meet him,’ he wished to say. His mind screamed with the
ultimate confession.
‘Father – I never went to your church on Sundays because I find your sermons
haughty and overbearing, just like your demeanor now. Alexander – your mother and I
have yet to tell you the truth about your adoption, though you are forty-four years old.
I’m sorry. And Marianne, I never really loved you that much. You’ve been very kind,
and you might even feel the same way. When I was six years old I butchered a bullfrog.
Nadia – you are the only person I have ever really loved. Heaven better be better than
this, though I probably don’t deserve to go there.’
Henry Milton forced his mouth open.
“I…I…I…”
His last breath was a silent one.
He closed his mouth and awaited the end. Because he was not a martyr.
Because he was just as much to blame for his discontent as anything or anyone else.
Because, all in all, his life was not so bad, so tragic. Because, ultimately, some things
are just better left unsaid.
Composition 14: Essay Exam on Black
Dehumanization
PROMPT: Explain how American painting, literature, comedy, and history (pick any three) show
how blacks have been dehumanized in the nation’s past both through stereotyping and through
physical attacks.
INTRODUCTION: Tell of an incident when blacks have been dehumanized …and you were there
to witness it. It may have been a remark made by a friend, a joke, a news story, something a
relative told you, an actual attack, a scene from a movie that you'll never forget. Explain why the
incident was dehumanizing to blacks. [show American History X You-tube link]
CONCLUSION: How much progress do you believe America has made in race relations over the
centuries, and what evidence can you offer to back up your belief?
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RREQUIRED RESEARCH: You must include at least 3 MLA style citations within your essay
and a works cited page with at least 2 works at the end of your essay or the highest score you
can receive is an 80%/B-. +5 Bonus for an additional source cited
1
2
3
4
5
Focus Skills for Exam Grade [PSSA 5-Step Pyramid] 10 Points per Skill
50 points
Are Details Relevant? [TS/Subs]
Are Details Developed? [3.5 Pages]
Are Details Accurate? [No Errors in Text Facts]
Are Details Specific? [at least 3 Cited Quotes & Refer to Text]
Are Details Interpretive & Insightful [Perhaps…]
Focus Skills for Essay Final Copy Grade, 10 Points per Skill
50 points
1 Spelling
2 Frag/Run
3 TS/Subs/Intro./Concl
4 High Quality Detail
5 Pronoun Usage
*3 Citations / MLA Works Cited with 2 works minimum required
The Stereotypes
SAMBO
--the belief that blacks are lazy and stupid, suited best to be athletes and entertainers, not
thinkers and leaders
NAT
-- the belief that blacks are criminals and pursuers of white women seeking revenge against the
white man (like Nat Turner) for the historical injustices of slavery
UNCLE TOM OR MAMMY
-- the slavery-era belief that blacks were eager to serve white folks and actually wanted to be
slaves because they felt loyal to the white masters who protected and fed them. This belief
helped soothe the consciences of slave owners.
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Subtopic Option One:
American paintings depict stereotypes and physical dehumanization.
Slavery through a White Brush
What do you see in each painting that reveals stereotypes about black slaves or that sugarcoats
the house-slave / field-slave experience? Consider the historical story-line, the facial expressions,
the scenery, the symbolic use of color, the position of the characters relative to each other—how
all of these details contribute to a fairy-tale view of human bondage.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Asleep in the Hay
The Beauties of Billiards
Admiration*
At My Master’s Bedside
The Dark-Town Fire Brigade*
Slavery through a Black Brush
What physically dehumanizing realities of the slavery experience do you see in each painting?
Consider what the historical story-line, the facial expressions, the scenery, the symbolic use of
color, the position of the characters relative to each other—how any of these details contributes to
a dehumanizing but truthful view of human bondage.
6. The Slave Market*
7. Mulatto*
8. The Lash
9. Branding Slaves
10. Mob Lynching a Negro in Clarkson Street
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Subtopic Option Two:
American comedy exposes the stereotypes that exist in society.
Bruce, Lenny. “Just How do you Relax with Colored People at Parties?” Black
Voices in America. New York: Doubleday, 1969.

[text in this packet]
What stereotype prompts the white guy to use substandard English/ Ebonics when
speaking to the black guy? How closely does the black man fit the white man’s
stereotype?

What stereotype prompts the white man to refer to so many black entertainers as a way
to strike up conversation?

What stereotype prompts the white guy to have second-thoughts about inviting the black
man to his house?

What other ethnic stereotypes shine through here?
Wayans, Keenan. In Living Color, Fox Network. WWCP, Altoona. 7 Jun, 1991.
“Hey Mon—The Hospital”

What details depict the whites as lazy and blacks as hardworking?

Why might the Sambo stereotype about black laziness have been reversed in this skit?
What effect might the writers of this skit intend to have on white viewers who view blacks
as lazy?

How does the skit address the Uncle Tom stereotype?
“Black Like You: The Tom Brothers”
“Homeboyz Shopping Network”

You decide—does this skit perpetuate or satirize the Nat stereotype? Give evidence.
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Lenny Bruce’s “Just How Do You Relax With Colored People at Parties?”
WHITE:
NEGRO:
WHITE:
NEGRO:
WHITE:
NEGRO:
WHITE:
NEGRO:
WHITE:
NEGRO:
WHITE:
NEGRO:
WHITE:
NEGRO:
WHITE:
NEGRO:
WHITE:
NEGRO:
WHITE:
NEGRO:
WHITE:
NEGRO:
WHITE:
NEGRO:
WHITE:
NEGRO:
WHITE:
NEGRO:
WHITE:
NEGRO:
WHITE:
NEGRO:
WHITE:
NEGRO:
WHITE:
NEGRO:
WHITE:
NEGRO:
WHITE:
NEGRO:
WHITE:
NEGRO:
WHITE:
3rd Nine Weeks
Boy, what a hell of a party, eh?
Yes, I’m enjoying myself, having a wonderful time.
I really stuffed myself, boy, and full to the ears on top of it. Oh, boy. Before you
drink you should take a tablespoon of olive oil.
Is that right?
Thass the best.
Oh.
I didn’t get your name.
Miller.
Miller, the name’s Anderson.
Glad to know you.
Pleasure to know you indeed, sir…You know, that Joe Louis was a helluva fighta.
Yes, you can say that again, an outstanding pugilist.
What a man, boy.
Yes, got right in there, right out.
He’s a credit to your race. Don’t you ever forget dat, you sunofagun.
Thank you very much. I won’t.
Thass awright, perfectly awright…Well, here’s to Henry Armstrong.
Yeah, right, here’s to Henry Armstrong.
You know I did all the construction here, you know?
Oh, you did?
All except the painting, and these Hebes—you’re not Jewish are you?
No man, I’m not.
You know what I mean, you gotta ask.
I understand.
Just so you know, if someone calls me a Sheeney I’d knock him on his butt. I
just wanna tell ya sometin, I don’ care what a guy is so long as he keeps in his
place.
Right.
So anyway, I tell these Mochs—these Jews—I tells them I’s gonna put up the
lath. And you know how they talk, “Vut tchou doink, dahlink?” So anyway they
says, “Vut tchou doink vit de paint?” And then they pick this color themselves.
Now isn’t dat a crappy color for ya?
No, I don’t think so. That’s very interesting how they used the Dufy Blue with so
many other pastels.
What? That sounds like a lotta Commie horse crap to me—Du-fee Blue?
That is what it is, a Dufy Blue.
Whatthehellissat?
A French painter derived that color.
Yeah? Du-fee Blue! I like that! You didn’t learn dat on the back of a bus, you
sunofagun! You awright! Du-fee Blue. How bout dat. You know, you’re okay,
you’re like a white dude. You’re really a good guy.
Thanks, I guess.
I guess you know a lotta people in show business, eh?
I’ve met a few in my travels.
Aaaah, I’m bad on names, what the hell, aaaah—you know Aunt Jemimah?
No, I don’t know Aunt Jemimah.
How bout dat guy on the Cream of Wheat box?
No, I don’t know him either.
Say, you get anything to eat yet?
No, I am kind of hungry. I wish I had a sandwich or something.
Well we don’t have no fried chicken or watermelon, whatever you people
eat…but we’ll fix you something there. You know sometin, you’re a good guy.
29
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Mr. Everhart
NEGRO:
WHITE:
NEGRO:
WHITE:
NEGRO:
WHITE:
NEGRO:
WHITE:
NEGRO:
WHITE:
NEGRO:
WHITE:
NEGRO:
WHITE:
NEGRO:
WHITE:
NEGRO:
WHITE:
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Room 218
And I’m a good guy too—see what I just did. I touched ya! Now you come over
here, you sonofagun, you’re awright.
Thank you.
I’d like to have you over the house.
Thanks, I’d like to come over.
Wouldja like that?
Very much so.
Aaaah, well, it’ll be dark soon. I mean, you gotta be careful these days because
they’re all movin’ in, you know? First the Indians were here and then the white
people came and they said, “Oh dude, the white people are movin’ in…and pretty
soon they’re gonna be all over!” But that’s dangerous talk, that kinda talk, you
know? … But here’s to all colored people.
Okay.
Now, I wanya to comover da house, but I gots to tells ya somtin cause I know
you people get touchy once in a while.
Go ahead.
Aaaah, I gotta sista, ya see?
Yes?
Well, now cummere…you wouldn’t wanna Jew puttin’ moves on ya sista,
wouldja?
It makes no difference to me, as long as he’s a nice guy.
What, you on da weed or somtin? You can come over to my house if you
promise you don’t put moves on my sister. Now you promise!
Okay, man, I promise.
Awright.
Here’s to the Great White Race!
Awright.
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Mr. Everhart
Room 218
Subtopic Option Three:
American literature depicts the stereotypes and physical abuses of blacks.
The Color Purple. Screenplay by Alice Walker. Harpo Productions, 1990.

What happens in this excerpt that shows how blacks in the 1930's south were physically
dehumanized?

Explain how these two comments made by Miss Millie, Sophia's "owner," reveal
stereotypes about blacks that either damaged their lives or could have resulted in a
lynching: "You wanna be my maid, you wanna work for me?" and "Those men tried to
attack me!"
Hughes, Langston. “The South”, The Collected Works. New York: Knopf, 1950.

[text in this packet]
What are the rare gifts that Hughes perhaps wanted to give to the south, and why might
the south have rejected these?

What stereotype does the south operate under in rejecting a black poet, versus a black
basketball star?

What love-hate imagery conveys Hughes' attraction and disgust for the south that he
both loves as his home-land and yet hates because it has rejected him? Why does he
love and hate the South at the same time?
David Margolick, Strange Fruit: Billie Holiday, Café Society, and an Early Cry for
Civil Rights (Philadelphia: Running Press, 2000), pp. 25-27.

[text in this packet]
What does the metaphorically strange fruit represent? What word choices extend the
metaphor of this dehumanizing practice in American history?
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The South
by
Langston Hughes
The lazy, laughing South
With blood on its mouth.
The sunny-faced South,
Beast-strong,
Idiot-brained.
The child-minded South
Scratching in the dead fire's ashes
For a Negro's bones.
Cotton and the moon,
Warmth, earth, warmth,
The sky, the sun, the stars,
The magnolia-scented South.
Beautiful, like a woman,
Seductive as a dark-eyed whore,
Passionate, cruel,
Honey-lipped, syphilitic-That is the South.
And I, who am black, would love her
But she spits in my face.
And I, who am black,
Would give her many rare gifts
But she turns her back upon me.
So now I seek the North-The cold-faced North,
For she, they say,
Is a kinder mistress,
And in her house my children
May escape the spell of the South.
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Strange Fruit
by
Lewis Allan
Southern trees bear strange fruit,
Blood on the leaves and blood at the root,
Black bodies swinging in the southern
breeze,
Strange fruit hanging from the poplar trees.
Pastoral scene of the gallant south,
The bulging eyes and the twisted mouth,
Scent of magnolias, sweet and fresh,
Then the sudden smell of burning flesh.
Here is fruit for the crows to pluck,
For the rain to gather, for the wind to suck,
For the sun to rot, for the trees to drop,
Here is a strange and bitter crop.
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Mr. Everhart
Room 218
Subtopic Option Four:
American history’s account of Malcolm X reveals a tale of dehumanization.
Malcolm X. Screenplay by Arnold Perl. Dir. Spike Lee. Warner Bros., 1992.
Malcolm Little's life provides a portrait of how white society has dehumanized and
stereotyped blacks in America. Consider the following events from his life as
proof of the historical reality of racism in America and as an explanation of the
racial anger that many blacks continue to harbor against whites.
916-1127: The Story Of Malcolm's Grandmother
What dehumanizing experience happened to Malcolm's grandmother that made his mother feel
the need to marry a dark black man, and how did she feel about her own skin color?
2420-2712: The Story of Malcolm's Family And His Schooling
How did the white-operated welfare agency dehumanize Malcolm's family after his father died?
What remarks by his schoolmaster reveal the damaging Sambo stereotype that ruins the selfesteem of many black children?
4925-5111: The Story of Malcolm's Father
How did the Klan dehumanize Malcolm's father—and why?
11150-11815: Malcolm's Imprisonment
Malcolm was jailed 10 years for sleeping with a white woman who seduced him? While no crime
was committed, what stereotype probably made his sentence so long?
Malcolm's Muslim teacher teaches him the stereotypical dictionary definitions of black and white.
List some of them, and then explain how these cultural meanings might affect both the selfesteem of blacks and white folks’ perceptions of black people.
Why isn't his teacher impressed with Jackie Robinson's admission to the majors as a sign that
blacks are gaining equality in society?
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Part 2: 2115-2900: Malcolm's Plan For Social Equality In The 1960's
List at least 5 brutalities that you observe in the 1960's newsreel footage of the way blacks were
dehumanized during the civil rights movement.
Malcolm X
Martin Luther
King
What is the goal?
How should the goal
be achieved?
What role should
religion play in
reaching the goal?
How should protests
be conducted?
With what
stereotype does
each leader become
associated?
A.
Racial equality and justice.
B.
Non-violently…using “passive resistance, refuse to sit at the back of the bus.
C.
Create a separate--and if necessary—a militant “Nation of Islam” within the U.S. to
oppose the white men who controls it. It is not wise to love an enemy “who has attacked you and
raped your women for 400 years.”
D.
Perceived by blacks as an Uncle Tom, a “house negro” kissing up to his white master.
E.
“By any means necessary”—which may include blowing up the bus.
F.
Racial equality and justice.
G.
Segregation of the races.
H.
Follow Christianity’s command to “love your enemy” so that gradually he is shamed into
seeing his injustices and feeling sympathy for blacks.
I.
Perceived by whites as a Nat, an angry “field negro” rising up violently against them.
J.
Integration of the races.
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Culminating Project PBA Cover Page
__________________________________
[student name]
Grade 11
English 11
Mr. Everhart
Due: End of 3rd Marking Period
Highlight with a marker the number of the prompt that applies to your PBA:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
First Marking Period
Persuade a magazine audience that an individual deserves praise for his
accomplishments.
Analyze advertising's rhetorical techniques.
Compare horror masters Poe and Hitchcock. Optional topic: Explain what
makes your three favorite horror flicks or novels scary.
Narrate a story dramatizing the truth of an Emerson or Thoreau adage.
Second Marking Period
Evaluate the realism of a piece of fiction.
Analyze comedy techniques. Optional topic: Explain why you believe three TV
comedies are so popular with viewers.
Research an issue and then advocate a policy change or adopt a stance on it.
Optional topic: Write a letter to your school principal suggesting three
changes that you wish that the administration would make to improve
education at TAHS.
Recommend that readers read the novel Speak.
Third Marking Period
9. Analyze the tone shifts in Whitman's Civil War poetry.
10. Write a first-person point-of-view short story.
11. Analyze how various humanities depict the dehumanization of blacks in
America.
Optional topic: Write an essay in which you explain how three
different groups of people are unfairly stereotyped in our society…blacks,
blondes, cheerleaders, athletes, the disabled, the obese, students with high
GPA's.
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Room 218
Performance Based Assessment Rubric~
Focus
My Focus Is
Exceptionally Clear.
4
My Focus Is
Satisfactorily Clear.
3
My Focus Is
Marginally Clear.
2
My Focus Is
Inadequately Clear.
1
Content
My Content Is
Exceptionally
Specific, Accurate,
And Developed.
My Content Is
Satisfactorily
Specific, Accurate,
And Developed.
My Content Is
Marginally
Specific, Accurate,
And Developed.
My Content Is
Inadequately
Specific, Accurate,
And Developed.
4
3
2
1
Organization
My Organization Is
Exceptionally Clear.
My Organization Is
Satisfactorily Clear.
My Organization Is
Marginally Clear.
My Organization Is
Inadequately Clear.
4
3
2
1
Style
My Style Is
Exceptionally
Effective.
My Style Is
Satisfactorily
Effective.
My Style Is
Marginally
Effective.
My Style Is
Inadequately
Effective.
4
3
2
1
Conventions
My Conventions Are
Exceptionally
Correct.
My Conventions Are
Satisfactorily
Correct.
My Conventions Are
Marginally
Correct.
My Conventions Are
Inadequately
Correct.
4
3
2
1
[Circle the student's over-all writing performance level below.]
ADVANCED
PROFICIENT
BASIC
BELOW BASIC
3rd Nine Weeks
18-20
15-17
12-14
5-11
36
3 rd Nine Weeks
Mr. Everhart
Room 218
Peer or Self Editing Response Sheet
Attach this sheet to the back of your final copy. It will be worth 10 points when completed by either you or a peer editor.
Composition 14: Dehumanization & the African-American Experience
Write the topic sentence, underlining the subtopics that the author plans either to
“echo” or to “camouflage”—[a technique for advanced classes only].
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
The paper is now ____ pages. The author needs to add ____ more pages to make 3½
pages total.
Check the introduction technique used to grab the reader’s attention:
___the rhetorical question technique
___the imagine technique
___the quotation technique
___the personal anecdote [story] technique
___the plot or character summary technique
___powerful statistics or facts technique
Write one word [a lively verb or a sensory image, for example] from the introduction that
impresses the reader from the start:
_________________
List 3 words whose spellings should be double-checked when doing the final copy:
__________ __________ __________
Write one sentence from the composition that you are not fully sure is either a run-on or
a fragment: [put a * by any intentional stylistic fragments in the final copy]
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
Write the first word, last word, and the paragraph number of a sentence whose pronoun
agreement or pronoun case you are not 100% certain about: [Example: Dogs…bridge.
Paragraph #3] Ask your teacher or a peer for advice—make sure to Grammar-Check it
on Microsoft Word on the final copy.
___________________________________
Review any “low-quality detail” point deductions on the essay exam draft of this
composition and revise the sentences that pertain to those deductions, improving their
relevance, development, accuracy, specificity, and/or insightfulness.
3rd Nine Weeks
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3 rd Nine Weeks
Mr. Everhart
3rd Nine Weeks
Room 218
38
3 rd Nine Weeks
Mr. Everhart
Room 218
Peer or Self Editing Response Sheet
Attach this sheet to the back of your final copy. It will be worth 10 points when completed by either you or a peer editor.
Composition 13: Short Fiction
The paper is now ____ pages. The author needs to add ____ more pages to make 4½
pages total.
List 3 words whose spellings should be double-checked when doing the final copy:
__________ __________ __________
Copy here a sentence that develops the setting (a place in the story) with sensory
description:
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
Copy here a sentence that describes a character pretty well by showing (versus telling)
what the character is like:
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
Conflict planning….What did the character want in this story—and what was the major
obstacle to getting it?
Want: _________________
Obstacle: ___________________
Does the story contain dialogue? Yes_______ No ________
If “No”, indicate with a
large “D” in the margin of the rough copy a place where the author could easily
incorporate a conversation.
Draw an arrow  everywhere in the margin of the rough copy where the author
neglected to indent dialogue.
Who narrates this story? [check 1]
________ a character in the story [1st person]
________ a 3rd person voice outside of the story
If the author did not stick to this point of view throughout the entire story, indicate with
an “X” in the margin of the rough draft where the author inadvertently shifted narrator
types.
3rd Nine Weeks
39
3 rd Nine Weeks
Mr. Everhart
3rd Nine Weeks
Room 218
40
3 rd Nine Weeks
Mr. Everhart
Room 218
Peer or Self Editing Response Sheet
Attach this sheet to the back of your final copy. It will be worth 10 points when completed by either you or a peer editor.
Composition 12: Whitman’s & The Civil War--Tone Analysis
Write the topic sentence, underlining the subtopics that the author plans either to
“echo” or to “camouflage”—[a technique for advanced classes only].
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________
The paper is now ____ pages. The author needs to add ____ more pages to make 3½
pages total.
Check the introduction technique used to grab the reader’s attention:
___the rhetorical question technique
___the imagine technique
___the quotation technique
___the personal anecdote [story] technique
___the plot or character summary technique
___powerful statistics or facts technique
Write one word [a lively verb or a sensory image, for example] from the introduction that
impresses the reader from the start:
_________________
List 3 words whose spellings should be double-checked when doing the final copy:
__________ __________ __________
Write one sentence from the composition that you are not fully sure is either a run-on or
a fragment: [put a * by any intentional stylistic fragments in the final copy]
___________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________
________________________________________________________
Write the first word, last word, and the paragraph number of a sentence whose subjectverb agreement you are not 100% certain about: [Example: Dogs…bridge. Paragraph
#3] Ask your teacher or a peer for advice—make sure to Grammar-Check it on Microsoft
Word on the final copy.
___________________________________
Use Ctrl + F on the final copy to find all 4 of these non-concrete, non-specific words in
the document. Replace them with more precise, specific phrasing when it is possible:
thing
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nice
stuff
41
it
3 rd Nine Weeks
Mr. Everhart
3rd Nine Weeks
Room 218
42
3 rd Nine Weeks
Mr. Everhart
Room 218
Peer or Self Editing Response Sheet
Attach this sheet to the back of your final copy. It will be worth 10 points when completed by either you or a peer editor.
Composition 11: Student’s Choice Poem
Number the lines of the poem. The poem is now ____ lines. The author needs to add
____ more pages to make it 16 lines minimum.
Write at least 5 powerful words [lively verbs or sensory images] from the poem:
__________ __________ __________ __________ __________
List 1 word whose spelling the author should double-check when doing the final copy:
__________
List here one set of 2 or 3 parallel phrases in the poem:
Having read the poem aloud, what do like most about it in terms of its message/theme,
its style, its tone, or its approach?
__________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________.
3rd Nine Weeks
43
3 rd Nine Weeks
Mr. Everhart
3rd Nine Weeks
Room 218
44
3 rd Nine Weeks
Mr. Everhart
Room 218
Peer or Self Editing Response Sheet
Attach this sheet to the back of your final copy. It will be worth 10 points when completed by either you or a peer editor.
Composition 10: Childhood Experience Poem
Number the lines of the poem. The poem is now ____ lines. The author needs to add
____ more pages to make it 16 lines minimum.
Write at least 5 powerful words [lively verbs or sensory images] from the poem:
__________ __________ __________ __________ __________
List 1 word whose spelling the author should double-check when doing the final copy:
__________
List here one set of 2 or 3 parallel phrases in the poem:
Having read the poem aloud, what message/moral/theme [if any] does the childhood
experience seem to convey to the readers about life or about themselves?
__________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________.
3rd Nine Weeks
45
3 rd Nine Weeks
Mr. Everhart
3rd Nine Weeks
Room 218
46
3 rd Nine Weeks
Mr. Everhart
Room 218
Peer or Self Editing Response Sheet
Attach this sheet to the back of your final copy. It will be worth 10 points when completed by either you or a peer editor.
Composition 9: Passionate Poem
Number the lines of the poem. The poem is now ____ lines. The author needs to add
____ more pages to make it 16 lines minimum.
Write at least 5 words [lively verbs or sensory images] from the poem that convey a
passionate tone:
__________ __________ __________ __________ __________
List 1 word whose spelling the author should double-check when doing the final copy:
__________
List here one set of 2 or 3 parallel phrases in the poem:
Having read the poem aloud, what is the most powerful, passionate, or meaningful line
in your opinion. Briefly explain why.
Line # _______ is meaningful or powerful because________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________.
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Mr. Everhart
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Room 218
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