Persuasive Openings
Statement of Fact
Asthma, cancer, and stinky breath – it isn’t just a chance that smokers might have these
problems; it is a fact. If smoking were banned from public places, more people might quit
and these problems would go away. We could all be a lot healthier without smoke
hanging in the air everywhere we go. Let’s ban smoking in public.
Metaphor
Cigarette smoke and nicotine are enemies that attack a smoker’s lungs. They wage a war
inside your body and destroy you with asthma and cancer. If we could get smoking
banned in all public places, many people might quit smoking. They would be winning a
big war and make life a lot better for non-smokers too. I think smoking in public must be
banned.
Simile
Imagine eating at a restaurant with air as fresh as a mountain breeze. Imagine a hospital
as empty as a ghost town. Those dreams could come true if smoking were banned from
public places. Smokers suffer from cancer and asthma, and non-smokers have to put up
with stinky, smelly smoke burning their eyes and lungs. Let’s ban smoking in public so
that we can have fresh air and fewer health problems.
Onomatopoeia
Cough, hack, wheeze! Those are the sounds of a smoker. To help those smokers avoid
cancer and asthma, we must pass a law to make smoking illegal in public places. I think
a lot of people would quit and a lot of lives could be saved.
Personification
Sometimes I go to a restaurant to eat, and I have to put up with cigarette smoke pestering
me and crawling up my nose. I hate the smell of it, and I worry that I might end up with
cancer or asthma just because people are rude. We must ban cigarettes from all public
places. Maybe the ban would be aggravating enough that it would make people quit, and
we could all stop worrying about getting a bad disease.
Alliteration
Cigarettes stink, cancer kills and asthma is awful. Banning cigarettes in public places
might make people stop. The more people who quit, the more cancer and asthma go
away. Wouldn’t that be great? I vote to ban all smoking in public.
Bold Statement
Smoking must be banned from all public places. We need protection from people who
are trying to give us cancer and asthma. Even if I don’t get a horrible disease, the smoke
makes my clothes and hair stink. Ick! Let’s ban smoking.
Definition
Do we need to read Webster’s Dictionary to learn the definition of cancer or asthma? I
don’t think so. Everyone knows that cancer and asthma are killers, and they are caused
by smoking. Smoking should be banned in all public places so that we can eliminate
cancer and asthma.
Personal Definition
Many people who smoke define it as their right. I define smoking as rude, foolish and
dangerous. The surgeon general has been telling us a long time that smoking can cause
cancer, asthma, and lots of other problems. It’s right there on the cigarette pack. I think
smoking should be banned from all public places.
Question
Why is the smoking ban even being talked about? Doesn’t it make sense that we should
ban something that is deadly and stinks? Smoking causes lots of sicknesses like cancer
and asthma. No more smoking in public places!
Quote
“Smoking kills.” Those are the words of the AMA. What more do they need to say? I
think smoking should be banned in all public places because it would help to get rid of
asthma and cancer. Maybe a bunch of people would even quit if smoking became a
hassle. That would be good for everyone’s health.
Personal Quote
I have heard my mom say a hundred times, “I wish I would have never started smoking.”
Now she coughs all the time and doesn’t know how to quit. If smoking would have been
banned when she was a teenager, maybe she wouldn’t have ever started. Now I worry
that she might get cancer or asthma. I am never going to smoke, and I think it needs to
be banned from all public places so that more people decide not to smoke.
Closings
Final Statement
We need to do something to help people who don’t know how to help themselves. I
strongly urge that smoking should be banned from public places. Let’s make the air clean
for everybody. Sure it’s going to make smokers mad, but it might keep them alive.
Quotation
It says it right there on the cigarette package, “Smoking could be dangerous to your
health.” If people can’t stop smoking by themselves, then maybe the laws could help
them. Make smoking illegal in public and more people might quit. We will all be a lot
healthier if smoking was banned.
Author’s Feelings
I feel very strongly that smoking should be banned from public places. The smoke makes
everything stink and even worse it makes people sick. If we get rid of the smoke, we
might get rid of lung cancer and asthma. Get on the bandwagon with me and speak out
against smoking.
Prediction
I predict that if smoking would be banned in public, the rates of cancer and asthma will
go down. I think that it is just common sense. I also think that a lot of people would quit
and some teenagers might just never start. If we ban the smoking, it just won’t be worth
the hassle anymore.
Question
Don’t you agree that smoking is making a lot of people sick? Can you see that banning
smoking in public places is just a good thing to do? Let’s fight stinky clothes. Let’s fight
cancer and asthma. Let’s fight smoking in public. It’s a fight where everyone comes out
a winner.
Expository Openings
Original Opening – Taken from ISBE 5th
Grade ISAT Writing Samples
Statement of Fact
Today we have a lot of bad role models. We have sports fans that cheat by using
steroids. Singers are going to jail for drunk driving when they should be home with their
little boys. I think a person that would be a good role model would be Justin Jones. He
never yells at his class, he’s nice, and he is a good teacher. Those facts prove why Mr.
Jones is a good role model.
Metaphor
He towers above most people I know. I don’t mean that he is tall. I mean that I look up
to Mr. Jones and that is what makes him tower above everyone else. He is my role model
for a lot of reasons. He never yells at us; he is nice. But most of all he is a super great
teacher.
Simile
His smile is like a ray of sunshine and he makes me feel as smart as Stephen Hawking. I
think Mr. Jones is the best role model any school kid could ever have. He never yells at
the class and he is nice. He is a great great teacher.
Onomatopoeia
Slam! Bang! Wham! Those are sounds you would never hear in our classroom. That is
because our teacher Justin Jones never yells at us, loses his temper or throws things. He
is always nice and that is what makes him such a great teacher. He is about the best role
model in the whole wide world.
Personification
Our classroom hums a happy tune every day. The biggest reason for that happy hum is
Justin Jones. He never yells at his class and he is always nice. He is a really good
teacher. Because of all those things I have chosen him to be my role model. I think he is
a good choice.
Bold Statement
Every teacher in the United States should take a lesson from Justin Jones. Here’s what
they’d learn. Justin Jones is nice and never yells at his class. He is a great teacher. If all
teachers would be like him then every teacher in the United States could be role models
too.
Definition
If I was writing Webster’s Dictionary I would just put a picture of Justin Jones next to the
word role model. Then I would say that he is a good role model because of all the good
things about him. He doesn’t yell at his kids; he treats them nice. And he is a really great
teacher. Yep, he could be the Webster’s definition for role model.
Personal Definition
Some people define role model as someone with lots of money and is famous. I define
role model with two words – Justin Jones. He is nice and never yells at his class. But the
biggest thing about Mr. Jones is this. He is a great teacher.
Question
What do you think makes a good role model? Tons of money? Or do you want someone
who is pretty or good-looking? You better think again because those kind of people
don’t always make such very great role models. I picked Justine Jones because he is nice,
never yells at his class, and is a good teacher.
Quote
Britney Spears said, “I would like to be called an inspiration to people, not a role model-because I make mistakes like everybody else. When I'm offstage, I'm just like everybody
else.” Well, Britney doesn’t have to worry much about me picking her for a role model.
I’d sooner have Justin Jones. He is nice and never yells at the class. Most of all I picked
him because he is a good teacher.
Personal Quote
My grandpa once told me, “When you pick a role model, get someone who is good. Pick
someone who can show you how to act.” I listened to Grandpa’s advice and decided that
Justin Jones is that type of person. He is nice and never yells at his class. Most of all, he
is a good teacher.