Kelly Caraher
COM 492
2/19/03
Reaction Paper #2
Relationships are an absolutely pivotal aspect of everyday life. Indeed we as
human beings are social creatures and in today’s society the potential for the pursuit of
new relationships has achieved a level never before possible. Gumpert and Cathcart
(1979) state that, “the acceleration of media (technological innovation) has had an impact
on all our relationships” (p. 9). They suggest that the numerous new forms of electronic
media have in fact altered “what we know, who and what we talk about, who talks to us,
and who listens” (p. 9). Indeed many transformations have occurred with the
advancement of Internet technology. The world as a result has become a much smaller
place now, as the potential to communicate with individuals in different time zones, in
other countries, or even on other continents has become much more accessible and
practical than before e mail, instant messaging, and the like. The possibility for forming
a relationship with someone on the other side of the world for example, can now occur
without either person ever getting on a plane and traveling the physical distance. While
this specific example may lack the face-to-face element generally attributed to
interpersonal communication, the fact remains that new technology has most certainly
created the potential for relationships that before would most likely have been an
impossibility.
An extremely popular trend in today’s media environment is that of reality
television. A recent article featured in the February 12, 2003 edition of Time magazine
entitled Why Reality TV is Good For Us summed up the success of reality television by
calling it “the one mass entertainment category that thrives because of its audience’s
contempt for it.” The article goes on to call reality TV as the best thing to happen to
television in several years arguing that it has given the networks water cooler buzz again.
While reality shows come in many different varieties today including everything from
The Osbourne’s to American Idol, the reality is that reality TV sells in a big way
garnering huge numbers in terms of both viewers and dollars. One of the hottest types of
reality TV today are those shows that attempt to play matchmaker. Shows such as Joe
Millionaire, The Bachelor and Bachelorette, and a seemingly endless plethora of other
almost game show like dating shows have captivated some while leaving others in total
disgust. Dating shows have become so popular that even The Learning Channel has
joined in for a part of the market with its own version of reality dating The Dating Story.
While many people question the motives of the individuals that appear on these shows,
many others are left asking the question if it is possible for true love to even occur
through reality television. If the first two seasons of the ABC’s The Bachelor are any
indication, that answer it would seem is NO!
Andrew Scharf (2003) a reporter with The BG News put it this way; “the shows
are not about building a personal relationship with another human being, it’s about
manipulating an audience into believing the moments are real and fairy tales exist.” The
participants of reality dating shows according to Scharf “ are only expressing one kind of
love, the love of the camera.” Similarly, Justin Ryan a development assistant with The
Free Congress Foundation, an online publication of the Free Congress Research and
Education Foundation expresses his views concerning some of the more game show like
versions such as Blind Date, 5th Wheel, and Elimidate, noting several possible negative
effects. “The programming’s glamour merely sinks our young people’s expectations for
possible mates even lower, not higher. It legitimizes objectifying the opposite sex,
encourages uncommitted unethical sexual practices outside the confines of marriage, and
gives no help to those men who do not know so much as to pick up the bill at a restaurant
or open the door for a lady.”
Indeed there is much popular debate and controversy that surrounds these shows,
however what is quite interesting about reality dating is that it provides yet another
specific example of an intersection point between mass and interpersonal communication,
and one that provides the potential for much inquiry. Going beyond questions addressing
the effects that viewing these shows have on the formation and maintenance of our own
interpersonal relationships, issues including not only what motivates individuals to
participate in shows of this nature, but what the motivations and expectations that viewers
bring to them consist of. Further considering the wide range and nature of reality dating
shows, which are broadcast not only on the major networks but also on various cable
stations as well such as MTV and The Learning Channel, one might assume that these
shows are targeted at different audiences. An interesting issue therefore might be to
examine how different age, racial, or cultural groups, as well as the two genders interpret
these shows, their motives for watching, and the implications. While to some reality
dating shows such as Blind Date may be viewed for its comical aspects, it is quite
possible as Ryan (2002) suggests that the behaviors depicted and observed many have
negative implications for younger or adolescent viewers.
In a strict traditional sense, interpersonal communication is generally limited to
that which takes between two people. In addition, there is an inherent link between
interpersonal communication and the pursuit and development of romantic relationships.
While reality dating does in fact often depict just that, the one on one interaction of two
people, the closely following camera, lighting, and sound crews allow millions of viewers
at home the opportunity to watch and listen to what traditionally would be private
conversation. It is this aspect of reality dating that seems to be most troublesome in
many ways. In fact, a common criticism of reality dating shows is that they are in
essence anything but real. Ryan (2002) explains that, “this so-called reality television is
nothing of the kind. Few will remember a time when they were given the opportunity to
go on a date with someone for free, in a location they could never afford if it weren’t free,
with a person they don’t even know.”
In addition, the ultra competitive nature of many of the reality dating shows
strengthens this argument that they are unrealistic, and that the goal is not to find love,
but to be the winner. The probability therefore that participating on a reality dating show
will result in a successful match appears to be low at best, as participants in an attempt to
be the one that gets that rose may often choose to present a false image of themselves or
even go as far as using deception in an attempt to win. While truthfulness is certainly by
no means a requirement or pre requisite for interpersonal communication, as it is just as
common for a spouse to deceive his or her partner as it is for Joe and his 50 Million
dollar lie, this aspect of reality dating seems to damage its credibility in a sense.
As has been the case so far this semester in seminar, the task of determining and
distinguishing the boundaries between the various types of communication has proven to
be a difficult one. Once again, it appears that the debate over how “real” the relationships
depicted on reality dating shows are, and how they can best be classified is a difficult
one. Scharf’s characterization of reality dating shows as perpetuating the idea of the fairy
tale relationship is a very interesting. I feel that it is safe to assume that most
interpersonal scholars and most individuals would agree that relationships in general and
especially romantic relationships require a certain amount of effort and maintenance in
order for them to be successful. While I would most certainly argue that some of the
relationships of reality dating shows do possess certain features that are generally
characteristic of typical romantic relationships such as physical attraction and selfdisclosure, I would not go as far to say that they are a reflection of a typical relationship.
The situational factors that I have discussed, for example the extremely competitive and
at times almost cut throat opposition seen, as well as the likelihood for deception and a
false portrayal of self because of the presence of cameras does not appear to make for the
best circumstances under which a successful relationship might be fostered. Despite all
of this however, the fact remains that reality dating shows are extremely popular and the
demand for them does not appear to be declining. In fact, we will soon see several new
types of reality dating shows, as the networks all compete for roses of their own from the
millions of viewers in the form of ratings!