Read the two paragraphs below. They are both introductions to an essay about the effects of
love. Based on these two different introductions, which essay would you be more likely to want
to read all the way to the end? Please write three sentences explaining your choice:
Introduction #2 makes me far more likely to want to read the rest of the essay for a number of reasons. The second
introduction begins with a tiny story (an anecdote) that catches my attention. I want to know what happened to Ka’Juan,
and I want to know more about the writers experiences as a high school student thinking about love. The second
introduction also does a better job making the topic of love’s effects seem like something that might be important to my life
as a high school student and also by explaining just how powerful it is.
Essay #1 Introduction:
Love is when two people feel very strong affection for one another. It is a very powerful
emotion. In fact, it is one of the most powerful emotions in the world and it is an emotion that almost
everyone feels at some point in their lives, if they are lucky. The dictionary defines love as a “strong
or warm personal attachment.” This can only partly explain love. Love also has countless effects on
the way that we live our lives, whether we are very young or very old. It has effects that are extremely
positive and it also has other effects which are extremely negative. The dictionary cannot even begin
to explain these effects. In this essay, I also cannot explain all the effects of love, but I can discuss the
three most important effects. Those effects include that love can effect our mood by making us happy,
love can effect our personality by making us courageous, and love can effect our social life by making
us popular.
Essay #2 Introduction:
“Hey, did you hear what happened between Ka’Juan and his girl this weekend?” Two girls
were chattering in the corner of the classroom. I could only guess that they were talking about love
and romance. Practically every single day, you can hear students at Southeast Halifax High School
exchanging gossip about some new love related event, and teenagers are not the only ones obsessed
with and affected by love. Love is an incredibly powerful and common emotion that affects people of
all ages in many ways. From a teenager perspective, some of the most important effects of love are
that it causes gossip, it affects people’s popularity, and it affects people’s sense of who they are.
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Have you ever picked up a book, read the first page, and thrown it back down because it seemed
boring? As you can see from the introductions that you just read, people will do the same thing to your
essays, unless you grab your reader’s attention with something that makes them want to keep reading
past the first sentence. Just like if you were talking to someone in person, you have to make a strong
and interesting first impression.
HOW TO WRITE AN INTRODUCTION:
(1) Grab the reader’s attention
(2) Establish significance – why should your reader want to KEEP reading?
(3) Thesis Statement
WAYS TO GRAB ATTENTION
(1) very short anecdote
(2) quote
(3) interesting fact or statistic
Practice Identifying the Parts of an Introduction (Essays on the Effects of Love)
For each introduction below write down what type of attention grabber is being used. Then:
(1) Put brackets [like this] around the attention grabber  [ for example ]
(2) Put a squiggly line under sentences that establish significance  for example
(3) Put a straight line under the sentence(s) that are the thesis  for example
(1) Examples of Grabbing Attention by ___Anecdote______________________________:
[“Honey, I just don’t think we belong together anymore…” I held the phone against my
ear, disbelieving the words I had just heard. I was waiting for Marcus to say, “Just kidding!
April Fools!” but there was only silence. Suddenly, my hand began to shake and the phone
dropped to the floor. I had never felt such pain as that evening or the many months that
followed.] I wish someone had told me sooner how much love can hurt. Like me, most teens
have no idea what they are getting into when they start a relationship. Before I ever fell in
love, I only thought of the wonderful effects of love, like butterflies in your stomach and
having someone to praise you. My relationship with Marcus showed me that many of the
effects of love are actually negative. Some of the common negative effects of love, which
teens should be prepared to face are the pain of heartbreak, loss of individuality, and isolation
from friends.
(2) Examples of Grabbing Attention by __________________________________:
Lao Tzu once said, “Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage." So often, in
books or movies, we see love transform ordinary people into courageous heroes, just as Lao
Tzu suggests. It happens throughout the world and throughout history, and it is only one of
love’s many effects. Strangely most of us never stop to consider the fact that love has such
incredible effects. If we did, perhaps more of us would strive to find love and fight to keep it.
In fact, love is one of the most powerful forces in the universe, and it has many positive effects
including bringing people happiness, making people selfless, and giving people courage.
(3) Examples of Grabbing Attention by __________________________________:
Married men are half as likely to commit suicide as women and have a much lower
likelihood of dying early than single men. Few people realize this shocking advantage of
marriage and of love. We rarely stop to consider that it is such a strong emotion that it could
actually save our lives, despite the fact that every song on the radio and every movie in
cinemas seems to be about love! In fact, love has many effects that people often overlook,
some of which are positive and some of which are negative. The most important effects of love
include its incredible ability to help people become themselves, to motivate people to work
hard for success, and to make people act kindly towards others.
Which of the introductions above was your favorite? Why?
NAME ____________________________
DUE DATE 2/11/14
Practice Writing Introductions
Directions: In the space below write three introduction paragraphs based on the theme you looked at
for Night. Follow the patterns above. Each paragraph should include all three steps: 1. Grab the
reader’s attention 2. Establish significance – why should your reader want to KEEP reading? 3. Thesis
Statement. Use a different way to grab attention in each paragraph you write (very short anecdote,
quote, interesting fact or statistic). Your thesis can be the same in each paragraph.
1. Introduction paragraph using anecdote to grab reader’s attention.
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2. Introduction paragraph using a quote to grab the reader’s attention.
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3. Introduction paragraph using an interesting fact or statistic to grab the reader’s attention.
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Thesis Statement Review:
A thesis statement is a broad, general statement that your essay and your ideas will center on.
It is almost like a main idea.
Every topic sentence (the first sentence of your body paragraphs) that you write in your essay should
be able to link up to your thesis statement.
Many times, a thesis statement is an opinion, but you never use the words “I” or “my” in a thesis.
Your thesis statement should be specific—it should cover only what you will discuss in your paper and
should be supported with specific evidence.
The thesis statement usually appears at the end of the first paragraph of a paper.
What are the most important qualities of a leader?
Leaders
Thesis statement: The most important qualities in a
leader are ______________________________ ,
________________________________ , and
Positive
Committed
Motivating
___________________________________ .
Many people want to extend the school day. Should Newark Public Schools extend the
school day?
Thesis statement:
Answer
____________________________________
____________________________________
____________________________________
___ , ___________________ , and
__________________________ .
1.
2.
3.