Running head: A CRITIQUE AND ANALYSIS OF INTERPERSONAL SKILLS
A Critique and Analysis of Interpersonal Skills
Dayle Lauren
Stenberg College
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A CRITIQUE AND ANALYSIS OF INTERPERSONAL SKILLS
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A Critique and Analysis of Interpersonal Skills
After recording, listening and analyzing my own response to a counselling session with
the subject-client, and by utilizing the TR Grid in this analysis, the writer was able to see the
micro skills that were used as well as those that were lacking. The writer had decided that
because she was unaware beforehand of what my subject wanted to discuss, that she would take
more of a Supportive Intervention approach with her client during the session. These types of
interventions “support, validate or offer encouragement” to the client in some way (Burnard,
2005, p. 32).
Analysis: The writer began the session by introducing her subject, which is part of the
Orientation phase of the therapeutic relationship process. What she failed to do during this phase
was to define any goals or expectations for the session, from the client’s perspective. A question
the writer could have asked regarding this was “What are you hoping to gain from our short
session together today?” The writer was acutely aware of the SOLER technique during the
attending phase of the session, and ensured that she was consciously aware of her body position,
eye contact, relaxed state, etc. throughout the entire session. The writer posits that she was able
to summarize what the client stated to her shortly after the session started, and the client was able
to confirm that the writer had understood what she was saying by validating her statement.
Continued active listening took place during what the client was saying, and the writer indicated
that she was listening by interjecting small indicators such as ‘right’, ‘mmm’, or ‘yeah’. At one
point, while the client was talking about feeling like the black sheep compared to her sister, the
writer only responded with “right” at various points of her story: what should have transpired
was a engagement in Positive Asset Search at this time, as it was obvious that the client had very
strong feelings about being the black sheep. The writer should have asked “How do you think
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that feeling like a black sheep affected your relationship with your sister?” This would have
steered her towards some deeper reflections surrounding her feelings about this. The next
portion of the recording was about her choice to stay involved in her church. During this
moment of her story, the client consistently added the word “Right?” to the end of her
statements. This indicated that she was seeking some sort of validation from the writer on her
choices at that time: the writer only utilized the skills of active listening, interjecting occasionally
with “mmm” and “yeah”. What she should have done was offer further reflection, perhaps with
the following statement: “It sounds as though you feel judged because of your decision to stay
connected to your church”. The client ended this portion of the story with a very strong
question; “Right?” to which the writer responded “Right, yeah” followed by the client saying
“’Kay.” This further illustrated the client’s need for validation at this moment, which the writer
failed to offer on a deeper level.
Her story then went further into detail about the popularity differences between herself
and her sister through the teen years. The writer supported and showed empathy by interjecting
“hmm” and joining her in a laugh at one point. These micro skills were Active listening,
Mutuality and Unconditional positive regard. What was missing from this moment was the
writer’s ability to link the content of what the client had stated to her feelings: the writer should
have said “It seems you feel like you were unfairly projected or perceived or even judged by
others in comparison to how your sister was perceived...” this would have forced the client to
look inward to how she perceived the differences between herself and her sister from an
emotionally attached perspective. Further along, the client began to talk about how her sister had
popularity at school, and that she, in comparison, felt like a wallflower. During this statement,
the writer sat silent in attendance, but should have used the moment to reframe the situation with
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a question such as “How had you dealt with feeling like a wallflower around your sister in the
past?” This reframing would have allowed the client to see the similarities that existed in other
moments between her and her sister, and would have allowed her to recognize some parallels in
her feelings and behaviours. When she continued in her story to tell her interviewer about how
her sister had stolen her boyfriend, the writer was empathetic in her responses. This was a use of
the skills of mutuality and empathy. However, again, the writer should have employed the
ability to link the content of the client’s statement to her feelings, with a statement such as “You
feel like your sister was constantly taking from you what little you thought you had in
comparison.” The client wrapped up this segment of her story by reiterating how awful an
experience it was for her, to which the author empathized and validated by stating “Yeah, wow.
So it was almost a rivalry between the two of you for some reason.” to which the client
responded “Very much so.”
The story then continued to expose that her sister and the boy she had stolen continued to
have an open dating relationship, of which was known throughout the neighborhood, but one in
which the client was also part of. The writer’s response in her role of listening was to convey
empathy and validation with interjections of ‘wow’. What she failed to do was link the client’s
feelings to the content, and could have done so with a statement such as “So it was validating to
you to continue to engage with this man, even though he was openly dating your sister, because
she had stolen him from you in the first place.” I think this may have made her realize that she
was in a position similar to that of her sister, but had justified her own actions and condemned
those of her sister. The writer was aware of the sensitivity of the moment however, and was
unsure of how to approach this without projecting her perception onto her client. Similarly,
when the client continued to explain a moment when this man put his arm around the sister, but
A CRITIQUE AND ANALYSIS OF INTERPERSONAL SKILLS
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use the same hand to caress the client’s thigh, the writer was empathetic with her statement of
summarizing her feelings when she stated “Wow. So lot’s going on there. Was your sister aware
of this at the time?” A more constructive approach would have been for the writer to link the
content of this information to her client’s feelings again, perhaps by reframing it into a question:
“How did you feel when he would do this?”
Reflection: Looking back through the notes and the TR Grid for this session has really
shown that there is much work to be done in order for the writer to be effective in the art of
counselling. There is a real need to remain attentive, while also being acutely aware of the tools
being used in the moment: it is as if one has to use both right and left sides of the brain
simultaneously, almost like rubbing one’s tummy and patting the head at the same time! The
writer’s inexperience in the counselling field is apparent. The session lacked direction and goal
planning. Although it was supportive in nature, it would have been more effective if she had
asked for the client’s goals at the beginning, therefore having something to work through and
towards in the session. As it were, the session presented like a friend listening to a friend’s life
story, rather than a therapeutic relationship between client and counselor. Further studying in the
areas of different counselling methods and theories, and adopting some of them that the writer
feels connected to would be of benefit for her in her nursing career. As the experiences come
from clinical settings and eventually the nursing profession, she will be more capable of
selecting appropriate methods of counselling clients that would be of value to them and their
recovery.
The writer’s predominant weakness, in her own opinion, was in being able to
successfully link the content of what was being said to the emotions, and being able to relay that
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back to the client in a manner that would allow further introspection on the client’s part. This is
a skill that the writer believes comes with further experience in the counselling field.
Further to these missing skills, the writer also feels that the ability to be confident in her
counselling methodology would be portrayed as such with the client, and may facilitate a more
structured approach to working with the client’s needs. The writer feels that the lack of
confidence may have lead to the consistent seeking of validation from the client throughout the
session.
Conclusion: In conclusion, being able to counsel someone effectively and efficiently
takes a series of macro skills that have to be strategized and implemented at precise moments
during the counselling session. Actively attending, working towards the collaborative goal,
assisting the client in reflections and subsequent actions as well as providing them with the
support and resources to implement changes are all skills that the writer recognizes as being
crucial to the therapeutic relationship. Some of the macro skills such as empathy, warmth, active
listening, summarizing, and mutualization were easy for the writer to engage in, and felt natural
for her to do so. When coupled with the skills that were lacking as noted above, the writer’s
counselling ability will improve dramatically. This exercise has helped to illustrate to the writer
what exactly is necessary to counsel in a productive manner, and is committed to working
forward in her nursing career to gain the necessary skills to ensure that this is an area that she
would be able to assist patients in, during their recovery.
A CRITIQUE AND ANALYSIS OF INTERPERSONAL SKILLS
References
Burnard, P. (2005). Counselling Skills for Health Professionals (4th ed.). Cheltenham: UK:
Nelson Thornes Ltd.
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A CRITIQUE AND ANALYSIS OF INTERPERSONAL SKILLS
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Appendix
Client Response
Talking about sister’s
use of FB to
communicate.. “and
she doesn’t go deep.”
“I’ve always felt like a
bit of a black sheep..”
“ I was the oldest girl,
right?”.. I had a lot of
responsibilities in our
teens, you know?”
…”Then I sorta got
into religion and that
pissed them off,
which… “Didn’t make
any sense because we
grew up in the Church,
right?”… “But then
everyone sorta left the
church and I stayed in
it.. right?”
“talk about church or
God… or anything.”
“Right?”
‘Kay…”
“even though I was the
older one, I always felt
less beautiful than her,
I was less popular; I
don’t know why she
was so popular.. I
mean she was cute, but
she was a bitch!”
(laughs)
“ I was in a situation
in high school… ‘she
was a cheerleader, she
had boyfriends, she
was popular.. and I
was a wallflower”
Student
Response
Skill Used
Skill Missed
Better
Phrase
Introduction of
interviewee at
beginning of session
Orientation
Defining Goals and
Expectations
‘What are you
hoping to gain in
this short session
today?”
‘So you feel that’s part
of the communication
breakdown between
the two of you: A).
She’s not letting you
in and when she does,
its superficial”
Summarizing
Positive Asset
Search: it was
obvious that the
client had strong
feelings surrounding
her being the black
sheep
“How do you
think that feeling
like the black
sheep affected
your relationship
with your sister?”
Reflection:
“It sounds as
though you feel
judged because of
your decision to
stay connected to
your church.”
Active Listening:
“Right”
SOLER
“Right”
“Hmm”
Active listening
SOLER
“yeah”
‘mmm”
“Right, yeah”
‘hmm’
Client’s use of the
question ‘right?”
after her statements
indicative of her need
to hear some
validation from me
Validating
Should have
validated with a
structured statement
of acknowledgement
Active Listening:
Linking content to
her feelings
SOLER
Mutuality
(laughs)
Unconditional
Positive Regard
Reframing:
Active listening:
(silent)
Attending
“It was unfair of
them to be angry
with you because
you chose to stay
in the church after
they decided to
leave.”
“It seems you feel
like you were
unfairly projected
or perceived or
judged by others
in comparison to
how your sister
was perceived..”
“How had you
dealt with feeling
like a wallflower
around your sister
in the past?”
A CRITIQUE AND ANALYSIS OF INTERPERSONAL SKILLS
“couple that with the
fact that…. “I had a
boyfriend…”first
boyfriend…”anyways,
so she stole him from
me. Seriously.”
“She didn’t need my
boyfriend, she had
plenty of her own.. ‘so
it was awful.”
‘yeah, very much so..”
“He wanted both
sisters.. he was dating
her openly .. and
flirting with me.. we
started seeing each
other behind her
back… and this
carried on all
summer.”
“He would put his arm
around her… but
would be rubbing my
thigh at the same
time..”
“No! Devastating for
you!”
Mutuality
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Linking content to
feelings
‘You feel like
your sister
constantly took
from you what
little you thought
you had in
comparison”
“yeah, wow.”
“ So it was almost a
rivalry between the
two of you for some
reason.”
“wow”
Empathy
Validating
Attending
Linking content and
feelings
Validating
“Wow.. a lot of mixed
emotions”
“Wow. So lot’s going
on there.. Was your
sister aware of this at
the time?”
Empathy
Linking content to
feelings
Reframing
“So it was
validating to you
in a sense to
continue to engage
with this man,
even though he
was openly dating
your sister,
because she had
stolen him from
you in the first
place.”
“How did you feel
when he did that?”
A CRITIQUE AND ANALYSIS OF INTERPERSONAL SKILLS
Appendix
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A CRITIQUE AND ANALYSIS OF INTERPERSONAL SKILLS
Grade
Graded on
11
29.00 / 30.00
Friday, 29 June 2012, 12:09 PM
Graded by
Mary Jordan
Therapeutic Relationships & Communication Skills : Assignment
#2 Marking Grid
Student:
Mark Assigned Mark Given
Comments
20
18
Reflection and
Critical
Thinking
10
10
Some good coverage
and analysis of your
interview. For future
essays, ensure that
you add in more
references. This
provides the instructor
with an idea of your
knowledge of theory
into application.
Good efforts made to
provide critical
reflections made
throughout the essay.
Structure &
Scholarly
Presentation
Grammar,
5
5
5
5
√
10
10
Again,try and add in
more references into
your essay. These
references can include
evidence from theory
to further support
Dayle
Lauren
Analysis
Feedback
comments
Syntax and
Sentence
Structure
Use of
References &
APA format
A CRITIQUE AND ANALYSIS OF INTERPERSONAL SKILLS
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your understanding of
the course concepts.
Final Mark
50
48
Regarding APA
format when using
headings, please refer
to the specific format
for heading useage.
Dayle, this
assignment is worth
30% and you have
earned 28%. You
have done a great job
with your analysis of
this assignment. Keep
up the great work!