ESSAY
Thesis Statement
The thesis statement is the most important sentence in the essay. It does not include specific
details that appear later in your essay, but it should answer the essay question clearly and
directly. If somebody reads the thesis sentence, they should be able to answer these two
questions:


What is the essay about?
What is your opinion?
Step one: get an opinion
The thesis statement must give an opinion--it tells the reader exactly what the writer thinks.
Examples of good thesis statements
As soon as you have decided what your opinion is, you can write your thesis statement. Let's say
you get this essay question:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Police officers should carry guns.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
If you agree with the statement, your thesis could be as simple as this:
Police officers should carry guns.
On the other hand, maybe you would like to disagree. In that case, your thesis could be just as
simple:
Police officers should not carry guns.
These are both acceptable thesis statements. They are simple and direct, telling the reader what
your opinion is and what the essay is going to be about.
It is good idea to write your thesis statement using key words or phrases from the orginal essay
question.
Examples of bad thesis statements
Before we look at examples of unacceptable thesis statements, let's have another look at our
sample essay question:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Police officers should not carry guns.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Now take a look at an unacceptable thesis statement:
Police officers work hard.
This thesis statement doesn't give us an opinion. It also doesn't tell us what the essay is about. In
fact, it's not related to the essay topic at all. Here's another one that's not so good:
Guns help to protect police officers.
Unacceptable. It may be true that "guns help to protect police officers," but we still don't know
what the writer's opinion is. And here's a third example:
Police officers don't need guns.
Again, it may be true that "police officers don't need guns," but what is the writer's opinion?
Should police officers carry guns?
Strong thesis statements
Now that we've seen a few examples of both good thesis statements and bad thesis statements,
the next question is this: how can we write a great thesis statement? Let's start with a thesis
statement that we already know is good:
Police officers should not carry guns.
This is a good thesis statement, but it's not a great one. We can improve it by making the
language stronger. Do this by using stronger language, words such as no or never. Here's what it
looks like when we've made our improvements:
Police officers should never carry guns.
We could also say something like this:
No police officer should ever carry a gun.
If our thesis statement is a positive sentence, we can strengthen the language with a word like
always. Here's an example:
Police officers should always carry guns.
Next we'll look at other ways of strengthening our the thesis statement.
Very strong thesis statements
Okay, we have written our thesis statement. Here it is:
Police officers should never carry guns.
It's already good, but we can make it even stronger by using a few phrases to emphasize our
point. Here are some that we can use: regardless of, under no circumstances, at no time, without
exception. This is what our final thesis statement will look like:
Regardless of the situation, police officers should never carry guns.
Or it could look like this:
At no time should a police officer ever carry a gun.
We can also use these same phrases to give the opposite opinion in our thesis statement, as in
this example:
Regardless of the situation, police officers should always carry guns.
--- INTRODUCTION --The introduction is the first paragraph of an essay, and it is important to make a good impression
here The followings are important to know about the introduction:





first paragraph of the essay
usually 3 to 5 sentences long
essay topic
opinion/hypothesis
a strong thesis statement
All introductions must meet these five conditions.
Beginning the introduction
The best way to begin the introduction is with a general statement about the essay topic. This
explains what the essay is going to be about and mentally prepares the reader for the arguments
that will follow. Do not give your opinion in this sentence--this is only a general statement about
the topic.
Here's an example of what a typical first sentence looks like:
Many communities have been debating whether or not police officers should carry guns.
You can see that there is no opinion in this sentence; it is only a general statement about the
essay topic.
Developing the introduction
After we have written our first sentence, it is time to develop the introduction. We do this by
adding a few more general statements about the topic. One strategy you can use is to explain
both sides of the argument. Here's an example:
In some situations, guns protect the police officer as well as the public. However, guns often
result in injuries and death.
By explaining both both sides of the argument (this is called contrasting), you show the reader
that you have thought carefully about the issue.
You should also know that when you contrast both sides of the argument, it is better to begin
with the side of the argument that you do not agree with. This is more natural in English, and
your essay introduction will develop logically toward the thesis statement.
Writing the thesis statement
Now it is time to write our thesis statement. This is the last sentence of the first paragraph. It is
also the most important sentence in the essay. The thesis statement does two things:


It directly answers the essay question.
It tells the reader what your opinion is.
For our introduction, the thesis statement could look like:
No police officer should ever carry a gun.
In this example, we have a strong thesis statement. It is simple and direct: it answers the essay
question and tells the reader exactly what our opinion is.
It is not an exaggeration to say that the thesis statement is the most important sentence in the
essay. In fact, if the reader has difficulty understanding the essay, he will often return to the
thesis statement to be reminded what the essay is about. A bad thesis statement results in a bad
essay.
If this is something new to you, we strongly recommended that that you learn more about how to
write a good thesis statement by visiting the tutorial on this website.
Putting it all together
We've finally completed our essay. Here it is:
Many communities have been debating whether or not police officers should carry guns. In some
situations, guns protect the police officer as well as the public. However, guns often result in
injuries and death. No police officer should ever carry a gun.
In the first sentence we began the introduction with a general statement about the essay topic.
Then, in the second and third sentences, we contrasted both sides of the argument. Our last
sentence was the thesis statement: this is where we answered the essay question and gave our
opinion.
--- BODY/CONTENT ---
The body is the meat and bones of your TOEFL essay.
The body of the essay is everything that comes between your introduction and the conclusion.
Here's what you need to know:




It's usually 2 paragraphs long.
Each paragraph has 1 topic sentence.
Each paragraph has 3 to 5 supporting ideas.
Its goal is to support thesis statement.
Paragraphs in the Body
Each paragraph of the body supports the thesis statement. And each paragraph has the same
structure--1 topic sentence followed by 3 to 5 supporting ideas. Like this:
Topic Sentence (first sentence)




supporting idea #1
supporting idea #2
supporting idea #3
supporting idea #4
It's okay if you don't understand topic sentences or supporting ideas. That's what we'll look at on
the next page. Read on.
The topic sentence
The topic sentence is the first sentence of the paragraph. This sentence should do 2 things:


Give 1 reason to support your thesis statement.
Tell the reader what the rest of the paragraph is about.
Supporting ideas
Everything that comes after the topic sentence is called a supporting idea. This is because it
"supports" your topic sentence.
A supporting idea could be almost anything: a story from your life, a philosophical argument, a
personal experience, or some statistical information. The important thing is that it explains why
you believe that the topic sentence is true.
--- TOPIC SENTENCE ---
Topic sentences are important because they support your
thesis statement.
First, let's have a quick review. We already know that the thesis statement is the last sentence of
the introduction. We also know that the thesis statement is where we give our opinion. Here's the
example we used:
No police officer should ever carry a gun.
It's a good thesis because it tells the reader what the essay is about and it gives an opinion. Now
the reader knows what our opinion is, but he doesn't know why. This is what topic sentence
does--it tells the reader why.
Here's the minimum you need to know about what a topic sentence is:



It is the first sentence of each paragraph in the body.
It gives one reason why the thesis statement is true.
It tells the reader what the rest of the paragraph is about.
A good way to write a topic sentence is to begin with a list of reasons that support your thesis
statement. When you have your list, then choose the two best reasons. That's what we'll do on the
next.
Writing a topic sentence
First we look at our thesis statement one more time:
No police officer should ever carry a gun.
Next we make a list of all the reasons why we believe our thesis statement is true. Here's what
we have:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
There is already too much violence in the world.
Police officers don't need protection.
Guns cause more harm than good.
Police officers like to shoot people.
Guns frighten people.
In most cases police officers don't need guns.
Violence of any kind is a bad thing.
Now we simply choose the best reasons. Let's choose number 3 and number 6. They look like
good reasons to me.
Now that we have two reasons that support our thesis statement, we are almost finished. We only
have to put the finishing touches on, and we'll do that next.
Finishing the topic sentences
On the last page, we chose two reasons to support our thesis statement. These are our topic
sentences. Here they are:
Guns cause more harm than good.
In most cases police officers don't need guns.
They already look good, but they could be better. We can improve them by adding a transitional
phrase at the beginning of each. A transitional phrase helps the reader understand your essay. It
also makes your essay sound more natural.
For our first topic sentence, we can use phrases such as First, First of all, In the first place, To
begin with, For one thing. And this is what our first topic sentence might look like:
First of all, guns cause more harm than good.
For our second topic sentence, we can use these phrases: Second, Next, In addition to the
previous point, More importantly. Like this:
In addition to the previous point, in most cases police officers don't need guns.
--- SUPPORTING IDEAS ---
Supporting ideas can be almost anything. The important thing is that they are all related to the
topic sentence and that they support the topic sentence in some way. Here are some things we
can use for our supporting ideas:




A logical argument
Statistical evidence
Factual information
Expert opinion
Writing supporting ideas
Before we begin, let's have another look at our first topic sentence. Here's what we have so far:
First of all, guns cause more harm than good.
Now let's use something that we've heard or read about for our supporting ideas. Our paragraph
might look something like this:
First of all, guns cause more harm than good. There are often stories in the newspapaer about
people who are accidentally shot. Moreover, many of these stories involve police officers. If
guns had not been involved, these accidents would not have happened. On the other hand, there
are very few stories about how a gun has saved somebody's life.
In this example, our supporting ideas come from stories we've read in the newspaper. And they
all explain why guns cause more harm than good.
We have also used a few interesting phrases at the beginning of some sentences: morevoer and
on the other hand. These are called transitional phrases. We'll talk about them in a separate
lesson.
Writing supporting ideas
Now let's take a look at our second topic sentence. Here it is:
In addition to the previous point, in most cases police officers don't need guns.
Now let's try using a personal experience for our supporting ideas. Here's one way we could
write the paragraph:
In addition to the previous point, in most cases police officers don't need guns. My father, for
example, has been a police officer for over 20 years, and he has never had to use his gun. In fact,
he says that most people who break the law are unarmed. Thus, it is often unnecessary for police
officers to carry guns.
There we have it! Again, our supporting ideas all tell the reader why our topic sentence is true.
You will also notice that we've used a few more transitional phrases: for example, in fact, and
thus. We'll talk about that after we write the conclusion.
---CONCLUSION ---
The conclusion is the essay's last paragraph. It restates the
thesis and summarizes the main points.
The conclusion of your TOEFL essay is probably the easiest part to write. Before we begin, here
is what you should know about the conclusion:



It's the last paragraph of the essay.
It's usually 3 or four sentences long.
It restates the essay's thesis.

It summarizes the essay's main points.
The conclusion must restate your thesis statement and summarize the essay's main points. If it
doesn't do this, then it's a bad conclusion.
In order to write the conclusion, we have to look at three important sentences in our essay. We
look at our thesis statement and we look at our two topic senteces. This is what we'll do on the
next page.
Writing the conclusion
First we have to look at our thesis statement:
No police officer should ever carry a gun.
Next we look at our two topic senteces:
First of all, guns cause more harm than good.
In addition to the previous point, in most cases police officers don't need guns.
Now we simply put them all into one paragraph, beginning with the thesis statement:
In conclusion, police officers should not carry guns. Guns usually cause harm to people.
Moreover, police officers often don't need them to do their jobs.
Maybe you have noticed that we made small changes to the thesis statement and topic sentences.
This is becuase it's not good to copy the sentences exactly--it's boring for the reader. These
changes give our writing more variety.
We also added two transitional phrases to our conclusion: in conclusion and moreover.
Our TOEFL essay
We've finally completed our essay! Here it is:
Many communities have been debating whether or not police officers should carry guns. In some
situations, guns protect the police officer as well as the public. However, guns often result in
injuries and death. No police officer should ever carry a gun.
First of all, guns cause more harm than good. There are often stories in the newspapaer about
people who are accidentally shot. Moreover, many of these stories involve police officers. If
guns had not been involved, these accidents would not have happened. On the other hand, there
are very few stories about how a gun has saved somebody's life.
In addition to the previous point, in most cases police officers don't need guns. My father, for
example, has been a police officer for over 20 years, and he has never had to use his gun. In fact,
he says that most people who break the law are unarmed. Thus, it is often unnecessary for police
officers to carry guns.
In conclusion, police officers should not carry guns. Guns usually cause harm to people.
Moreover, police officers often don't need them to do their jobs.
--- TRANSITIONAL PHRASES ---
Transitional phrases help the reader understand your essay. Learning how to use them will really
make your TOEFL essay flow. They can be used in two places: at the beginning of a paragraph
or at the beginning of a sentence. Here's how:
At the beginning of a paragraph
Pargraph 1
This is your introduction. Do not use any transitional words or phrases at the beginning of this
paragraph.
Pargraph 2
This is the first paragraph of the essay body. Use any of these at the beginning of this paragraph:
first, first of all, for a start, for starters, in the first place, for one thing, to begin with Pargraph
3
This is the second paragraph of the essay body. Use any of these at the beginning of this
paragraph:
second, next, in addition to the previous point, more importantly, more important than, another
key point is Pargraph 4
This is your conclusion. Use any of these at the beginning of this paragraph:
in conclusion, in closing, to summarize, in sum, in summary
At the beginning of a sentence
There are many transitional words and phrases that we can use at the beginning of a sentence.
These words have many different meanings, and this makes it more difficult for us to use them
correctly.
However
in spite of that; on the other hand; but
It is true that guns are dangerous. However, they are not responsible for the sudden rise in
violent crime. Moreover
here is some more information; in addition; also
Television is a complete waste of time. Moreover, there is never anything good to watch.
Nevertheless
but; however; in spite of that
Sometimes my boyfriend makes me crazy. Nevertheless, I still love him. For example
here is one example of what I mean
A dog is a wonderful pet. For example, it always comes when you call its name.
For instance
here is one example of what I mean
The internet is one of the greatest achievements in history. For instance, people can now learn
about almost anything online--it has more information than most libraries! For one thing
this is my first example; one example is this
I hate my car! For one thing, it never starts in the morning. In fact
here is some more specific information
Americans are fat people! In fact, statistics show that 4 out of 5 Americans are overweight. In
point of fact
but here is some surprising information
Some people argue that guns are responsible for violence in our society. In point of fact, most
violent crimes do not involve guns. Similarly
in the same or similar way
Both of my parents were teachers. Similarly, I am also a teacher.
Likewise
in the same or similar way
All machines require some kind of energy. Likewise, the human body also requires energy--in the
form of food. In contrast
on the other hand
Animals just make sounds. In contrast, humans can speak and communicate. In other words
what I mean to say is this
All politicians lie, cheat, and steal. In other words, the only people they really care about are
themselves. All in all
in general; overall
My town has a library, a swimming pool, and a few good places to eat. All in all, it's a nice place
to live. In short
here is a summary in very simple language
Pollution causes global warming, destroys the environment, and endagers human life. In short,
there is nothing good about pollution.
Grammar note: don't forget the comma!
Transitional phrases are usually used at the beginning of a sentence. They are always followed
by a comma. Examples:
In contrast, humans can speak and communicate.
For example, it always comes when you call its name.
Moreover, there is never anything good to watch.
Never forget your comma! This is a very, very important part of writing
TOEFL Essay Structure: Self Test 1
How well do you know the TOEFL essay structure? Can you
answer these questions about a sample essay?
Answer the following questions about the TOEFL essay structure. Each question is based on the
sample essay below. You don't have to read the entire essay to answer correctly.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
How many paragraphs are there in the essay?
How many paragraphs are there in the essay body?
What is the thesis statement of the essay?
What transitional phrase is used at the beginning of the conclusion?
What are the two topic sentences in the essay's body?
How many transitional phrases are used in the second paragraph?
What supporting ideas (sentences) are found in the second paragraph?
How did you do? Ready to check your answers?
Sample TOEFL Essay 1
Use this sample essay to answer the questions above. You do not have to read the entire essay.
The debate over whether or not animals should be kept in zoos is a hot topic, one that generates
passionate arguments both for and against. On the one hand, it is sometimes argued that animals
should be free to live in the wild and not held in captivity. On the other hand, it is also argued
that zoos are important places that not only provide people with a unique learning experience,
but also play an important role in protecting animals and preserving their environment. Indeed,
zoos offer benefits to people as well as animals, which is why animals should be kept there.
First of all, there are the educational aspects associated with zoos. Zoos provide an opportunity
for people to encounter a wide variety of animals, including some strange and exotic ones.
Children especially benefit from visits to the zoo, and in doing so they are given an opportunity
to learn something about nature, the environment, and the animal kingdom. Moreover, zoos help
children develop an appreciation for these things.
In addition to offering unique educational opportunities for people, many zoos attempt to
improve the plight of rare species by protecting them. In fact, animals are likely better in a zoo
than in the wild. Imagine an antelope faced with the danger of being eaten by a lion, a wolf faced
with the prospect of starvation, or a tortoise faced with a long and arduous fight to the sea. Are
these animals better off than those held in captivity? Probably not. Moreover, many zoos attempt
to reproduce the animals' natural habitats. In such zoos, animals are not kept in cages but rather
allowed to roam freely in large, open areas.
In conclusion, it is clear that the educational opportunities, protection of animals, and
preservation of habitats offer sound evidence of the value that zoos bring to both people and
animals. While a case can be made to eliminate zoos, the advantages clearly outweigh the
disadvantages.
On the next page you'll find answers to each of the questions about this essay.
TOEFL Essay Structure: Self Test 1
PAGE 2 OF 2
If you've had any trouble answering the questions, you may want to consider reviewing the
TOEFL essay structure.
1. How many paragraphs are there in the essay?
Four.
2. How many paragraphs are there in the essay body?
Two.
3. What is the thesis statement of the essay?
Indeed, zoos offer benefits to people as well as to animals, which is why animals should
be kept there.
4. What transitional phrase is used at the beginning of the conclusion?
In conclusion
5. What are the two topic sentences in the essay's body?
First of all, there are the educational aspects associated with zoos.
In addition to offering unique educational opportunities for people, many zoos attempt to
improve the plight of rare species by protecting them.
6. How many transitional phrases are used in the second paragraph?
2 (first of all, moreover)
7. What supporting ideas (sentences) are found in the second paragraph?
Zoos provide an opportunity for people to encounter a wide variety of animals, including
some strange and exotic ones.
Children especially benefit from visits to the zoo, and in doing so they are given an
opportunity to learn something about nature, the environment, and the animal kingdom.
Moreover, zoos help children develop an appreciation for these things.