Victoria Maclachlan
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How has Information Technology contributed to the selective choice of
individual Social Relationships?
Information technology (I.T.) deals with,
“the use of electronic computers and computer software to convert, store, protect,
process, transmit, and retrieve information.”
Defined by wikipedia, I.T. has contributed to our selective choice of a social relationship
on an individual level. This can be seen through virtual communities, general interest site
and most common dating sites. This essay will also look largely on the internet dating
sites and that of matrimonial websites as well and the positive filtering that helps this
process. It will go into depth about the way marital websites are changing and helping
cultures. This essay will also look into why people choose to date virtually rather than in
reality and whether this helps our selective choice of our social relationships. In addition
the essay will look at the empowerment of shy people on the internet and the fact that it
hugely increases the range and amount of people you can meet.
Virtual communities and sites of that sort are popular in most people’s everyday
use; however that of internet dating is for a selection of people that use the internet for
the sole purpose of beginning a relationship. It can be fairly obvious to see that online
dating has enormously contributed to our social relationships, but the fact that it is
extremely particular and picky due to the positive filtering, which will be mentioned
later, that helps this selective process.
Online dating and matrimonial websites hugely increase social relationships in selective
way; this can be seen through different methods such as positive filtering. Positive
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filtering means on dating websites and such like it allows you to enter personal
information and then search for others similar to you. This can be based on for example;
age, gender location, interests, profession, political preference, religion, or even as
specific as a smoker or a non smoker, which allows people to view who they really want
to.
Online dating which is known also as internet dating or a net dating service,
Wikipedia defined it by,
“An example of a dating system and allows individuals, couples and groups to meet
online and possibly develop a romantic or sexual relationship. Such services generally
allow people to provide personal information, then search for other individuals using
criteria such as age range, gender and location.”
On most dating sites it is possible to upload photos and videos of each other for others to
look at. Additional services which are offered are web casts, online chat and message
boards1.
Online communities such as Bebo and dating sites allows people to scan and look
at you, your friends, interests etc in detail. Online dating has come along way and with
advancements it has been able to set up sites for even the sole purpose of getting married.
Choosing a partner over the internet can be a last resort to a lot of people. Usually
people start visiting these websites by being inspired by a lot of success stories. Most
people using these sites can be divorced, shy or just trying to find someone out of their
business or social circle. People can find it difficult to approach others when they do not
know any thing about the other person and also do not want the disappointment or
refusal. However details, descriptions and photographs make this easier. This is usually
1
Wikipedia, definition of Online Dating Service.
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why people usually meet others in the same social or business circles as there is
information known about them and whether they are interested. Online dating increases
the chance of someone wanting to meet you as well as you wanting to meet them. At the
beginning of the dating process there is huge anonymity about the experience which
empowers shy people and allows them to make moves or contact someone which they
would not normally do. This anonymity also allows the “ability to control which matters
we wish to reveal which allows us to safeguard our privacy while increasing emotional
closeness and openness”2. This shows us that the selection of social relationships online
can help people meet people they normally would never get the chance to, meet people
they know want to meet them back and empower people to make contact with someone
else. Whilst doing this it also allows people to have the ability to control privacy and then
increase emotional closeness and openness.
Positive filtering allows people to enter in personal information on to these dating
sites and then search for others based on other criteria which are important to them, this
could be their location, age, gender and interests for example. Along with personal
information photos and videos can be uploaded as well, so it is a more personal and
intimate experience.
Matrimonial websites are different from dating sites as there they are geared
towards meeting people for the purpose of getting married. These sites are known to be
used by people who favour arranged marriage over love marriage3. Gross
misrepresentation is less likely on these sites.
2
3
Ben-ze’ev A.(2004) LoveOnline: Emotions on the Internet Setion:Online Privacy and emotional closeness
Wikipedia, definition of Marriage Websites.
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An article on ‘abc’ news looked at how online matchmaking sites like that of
marital websites are changing the way of the traditional methods in finding a mate in
India. The article explains the problems faced by young people today in India and how
most people have to face the idea that the person that you are to spend the rest of your life
with will be chosen by your friends or family. Important criteria such as religion,
language spoken, education, dietary habits, social status, astrological sign, skin fairness,
caste and even green card status are all significant factors in determining a partner.
Having the option of these sites to find a partner on are making dramatic cultural changes
as young people facing an arranged marriage will gain control of a process that has never
been entirely theirs4. Parents will obviously still play a role in this process by approving
matches however it will be done in a less active way. One quarter of the members on
these sites are family and friends and there sole reason to be members is to facilitate
introductions with prospective partners. These sites offer filtering tools and the chance to
upload photos and videos so you can positively filter what you want in a partner, making
it much easier than searching through millions of matches. By joining a matrimonial
website, the main focus and outcome wanted is marriage, so these sites not only offer the
selective choice of a very intimate relationship but there is culture changing as more
marriage-seekers have control.
The second part of this essay will look into why people choose to date virtually rather
than in reality and whether this helps our selective choice of our social relationships. An
article on Love Online: A report on digital dating in Canada looked at the advantages of
online dating and the reasons these sites are getting more popular. It was observed
through telephone and online surveys. People were asked to evaluate possible advantages
4
http://abcnews.go.com/International/story?id=2501711&page=3
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and motivations in online dating this was compared against that of other ways and means
of meeting new people. The results showed that it was less stressful, less expensive, and
easier to end a relationship, offers privacy and confidentiality, more certain way of
meeting people that want to meet you, more convenient and online dating provides more
information about people. In conclusion of these findings the report regards online dating
as a highly effective means of meeting people5, proving that dating online has contributed
to the selective choice of social relationships. The report also goes on to look at face to
face meetings and contacts that are a result from online dating. The results of this show
that face to face meetings happen 67% of the time. They also show that if the person
initiated the meeting then 36% had 1-5 contacts and 19% had 6-10 contacts however if
someone else initiated it then 35% had 1-5 contacts and 31% had 11+ contacts. These
results show that online dating can contribute hugely to helping our social relationships
due to large numbers of people actually meeting this develops interactions,
communication and then relationships.
A different article on BBC News which is more recent saw that 94% of UK online
agency customers questioned saw their "e-partner" again after the first face-to-face
meeting6. Again illustrating relationships online help contribute to our everyday social
relationships. On the same article it tells us that 9% of chat room users use webcams,
which is a same percentage however for that 9% of people it allows others to see who
they really are and interact with them in a way that you could do in reality. Online dating
and matrimonial websites also have special features and additional services that attract
people to use their sites.
5
Brym et al. (2001) Love Online: A Report on Digital Dating in Canada. Section: Motivations for using
Online dating Services
6
Gavin, J. (2005) Online dating ‘good for romance’
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Dr. Jeff Gavin a psychologist stated that one in five interviewed had started a
relationship lasting a year via a dating website and saw a “similar level of success to
partners who had met in more conventional ways7. Gavin also found that male members
on the website felt to be ‘more committed’ and could express their feelings in an easier
way. A lot of the public think there are general dating sites but there are all sorts now,
from people who want to meet beautiful people to those who want to meet someone who
are obese.
After looking at a cross section of the public it is clear that there have been many
success stories and a few bad ones. However opinions from people that have met others
online, believe that it important to not misrepresent themselves and that way there is a
larger chance of making it with someone else. Others even go as far as believing that it is
a “way forward in finding a soul mate”8. However most of these opinions help others in
the selection of a social relationship.
An article on Online Dating Service Offers Criminal Background Checks, tells us
about how dating websites are introducing to their members a service which can help
determine their ‘Perfect Partner’, this can be done through criminal background checks
when you become a member. This assures members and helps determine that the person
you are talking to is not a murderer, a sex offender or even married. Though offering
these services to the public it makes online dating sites more popular and therefore
develops the selection of social relationships.
7
8
Gavin, J. (2005) Online dating ‘good for romance’
Ibid
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Victoria Maclachlan
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In conclusion we can see that virtual communities, online dating and sites of
matrimonial interest have all contributed to the selective choice of an individual social
relationship. These sites offer additional services such as positive filtering, that ability to
upload photos and videos, use web cams and such as Skype that make them well used
and popular, resulting in more people using them and making more social relationships.
This essay has seen that online dating has empowered shy people and increases the range
and amount of people you can meet. The results from the online dating survey in Canada
has shown significant results from online dating and show that online dating can
contribute hugely to helping our social relationships due to large numbers of people
actually meeting this develops interactions, communication and then social relationships.
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Bibliography
1.
Ben-ze’ev A. (2004) LoveOnline: Emotions on the Internet – E-Book –
Cambridge University Press
2.
Brym et al. (2001) Love Online: A Report on Digital Dating in Canada.
Social Relationships in Electronic Forums
http://www.december.com/cmc/mag/1996/jul/kling.html
3.
Gardener, W. D. (2006, September 6) Online Dating Service Offers
Criminal Background Check
http://www.techweb.com/wire/ebiz/192503613
4.
Gavin, J. (2005, February 14) BBC News: Online dating ‘good for
romance’ http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/education/4250281.stm
5.
Hitsch et al. (2005, January) What Makes You Click: An Empirical
Analysis of Online Dating
http://www.aeaweb.org/annual_mtg_papers/2006/0106_0800_0502.pdf
6.
Kling, R. (1996) Social Relationships in Electronic forums
http://www.december.com/cmc/mag/1996/jul/kling.html
7.
Shibani, s. (2006, September 28) Love and Marriage in an Indian
Marriage: Online Matchmaking Web Sites are changing the Face of
Arranged Marriage in India.
http://abcnews.go.com/International/story?id=2501711&page=1
8.
Wikipedia – online dating
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Online_dating
9.
Wikipedia – Information Technology
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Information_technology
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