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Thao Nguyen
Lynn C. Taylor
English 1010-033
30 November 2013
Argument Essay
Before 1975 in Vietnam, there were 10 percent of divorces. The divorce rate has
increased by 40 percent during the last thirty-five years. When two people are no longer in love,
should they not be forced to live together? It is not against the law to do whatever you want with
your life, but you pay the price yourself. A large number of marriages each year are ending in the
divorce courts, which is a matter of great concern. In Vietnam, one in every three marriages
breaks up. In the United States of America, it is about one in two. It is also important to
emphasize that among Asian people, divorces are becoming a common problem.
The high rate for divorce is not only a problem for a few countries. It has now affected to
over 60 percent of countries around the world. We will attempt to examine when divorce can be
justified by looking at some of the arguments advanced in favor of and against it. Can we believe
that divorce may be the best way to solve the marriage problem? We will focus on a few issues
that people think is causing the most marriages breaks up in Vietnam and United States.
We should take a position on controversy. First of all, marrying too young and lack of
preparation are the main sources that cause divorce. Second, divorce can be a much more
complicated process for victims of domestic abuse. Otherwise, sexual infidelity was the reason
for divorce. However, divorce should always be seen as a measure of last resort to be accepted
only when all reasonable attempts at reconciliation have been exhausted.
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First of all, marrying too young and lack of preparation are major problems causing
divorce. At the Kingdom’s time up to the early of the 20th century “many societies place utmost
value on a girl’s virginity. Child marriages are thus common in such communities in order to
protect girls from sexual exposure” (Gaffney 49). The Vietnamese culture is one that belongs to
that form. Previously marriage was influenced by Buddhist theology and Confucian philosophy.
They believed that the girl after marriage will become one of the husband’s family member and
no longer a part of their own family any more. They also became one of the biggest concerns to a
family since they were born in front of a dangerous male. One in four men across Asia admits to
having committed rape. The research through the Asian culture recorded that over 60 percent of
women before the age of 18 were raped by friends, bad guys, neighbors, and cousins.
“In addition, child marriages are the most ‘common among the poorest 20% of the
population’ by whom young girls may be regarded by their family as an economic burden”,
(Gaffney 49). This is true because couples could be young, may not have finished their education,
and may not have experience to prepare for their own family such as buying the right foods,
expenses of the baby, and financially stability. In the past, parents would protect and support
them on raising their family. Since Vietnam captured the new culture to attempt to change the
old culture, most early age marriages tend to get stuck in the middle of an economic problem.
This ends up with high divorce rates.
The Vietnam government should support young marriages because of their old culture. In
the United States, most parents think that young marriages are not a big deal because they do
have social help and wealth fair help from government. This is not the case in Vietnam, which is
one of the poorest countries in the world. Since the 1990’s, the new law states that 18 is the
minimum age for marriage. Sooner or later without help, their families will be ruined.
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Divorce can be a much more complicated process for victims of domestic abuse. “Private
violence can make one more fearful in public space. Domestic violence ‘may affect the broader
spatial experiences and choices of women affected by or threatened by it’” (Koskela 118). Most
mothers are responsible for domestic duties such as homemaking and raising children. They
don’t have to change to get any education. In the late 20th century woman had changed to go to
school and be able to get a high level of education before marriage. Even though, they have a
job and work outside the home to share the income for the family, women still have the same
main duties. Marital conflicts and domestic violence are considered to be intensely private family
matters. Domestic violence occurs throughout Vietnam, in all regions, in both urban and rural
areas and in families of all income levels.
Vietnamese culture is very complex in Vietnamese history. Previously marriage was
influenced by Buddhist theology and Confucian philosophy. Vietnamese believed that fate in
marriage, as well as wealth and position, were preordained, though choice could play some role
in activating a positive or negative fate. Generally, children lived with their parents until
marriage, and then the married couple would move to the husband's father's household. The
extended family arranged marriages, but individuals were usually consulted on the choice of
their spouse. The typical engagement lasted six months, with little contact between the bride and
groom prior to the marriage. Women kept their maiden names legally but used their husband's
name formally. Man is the only one that works and supports income to the family. Man also has
full power to control over family. Even though the family is viewed as a unit, the father or an
older male has the ultimate responsibility and acts as an authority leader while delegating tasks
and involving others in the decision making.
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Domestic abuse exists in all cultures. Vietnam government ought to make the right in
their constitution for equality between man and woman. The reason domestic violence exists is
because of deep-rooted attitudes regarding socially and culturally prescribed roles,
responsibilities, and traits of men and women. It is generally assumed that women are
responsible for maintaining peace and harmony within the family, and in family relations women
are considered subordinate to men. Although gender equality and freedom from violence are
guaranteed under the law, attitudes perpetuating inequality and violence persist in most
communities, and in institutions entrusted with overseeing and implementing the law. However,
it is important to know that Vietnamese women in the U.S. may be less likely to report abuse to
authorities or even discuss it with friends.
The United States has the highest divorce rate in the world. “When infidelity occurs, it is
typically viewed as a marital betrayal and is in fact one of the most commonly cited reasons for
marital dissolution” (Allen 243). The often-supposed reason for divorce attributed to the
appearance or presence of another man or woman in the life of one of the partners is simply a
symptom of a pre-existing desire to escape the malaise of a moribund relationship. One may seek
solace in the other man or woman relationship with the prime purpose of re-injecting life or
purpose in an existence that may seem to have become barren.
The general trends for marriage in several Asian nations, with a focus of the swiftly rising
divorce rates and changing cultural attitudes to marriage, is discussed as current relationship
education initiatives. In Vietnam, many men of older age find these newly emerging symptoms
difficult, and their presence in a wife of many years may lead to emotional and physical
withdrawal by both parties, which appears around the age of 50 in normal development on
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symptoms of menopause. On that point, the husband, if experiencing his wife’s coldness or
withdrawal altogether from sex, could find easy excuses for infidelity with younger women who
understand when his wife has failed to do so. With most marriages in Vietnam, the male will
normally marry a female that is much younger than them so that female can handle the family
when the male gets old. As life goes on, we all undergo personality changes. None of us by age
50 can truthfully believe we are the same person we were at 25. We learn, educate, grow, and
change at uneven rates that are heavily dependent upon many variables— including intelligence,
receptivity, and intensity of experiences. Uneven growth between spouses is common, and unless
great pain is taken to assure continuing effective communication, the marriage can fail. The
female at that time is still younger and can easily seek out others to escape from marital
unhappiness.
Sexual infidelity is the main reason for divorce in Vietnam today. This omission is
notable considering that the United States is an aging society. “Further, marital problems are a
relatively accepted social script for justifying infidelity” (Allen 245). In the past, the youngest
couples were the first cohort to divorce and would remarry. Now, they are aging into their fifties
and sixties, and this portends that a growing number of older adults will experience divorce
because remarriages are more likely than first marriages to end through divorce. Elizabeth S.
Allen believed that the increase in divorce for women in their forties and fifties of lifelong
marriages was positively caused by high education. During work females may easily be affected
by the experience of engaging in infidelity and then be affected on extramarital sexual behavior.
The culture experience has affected Vietnam as well. Marriages in the 1950s are very
different from today’s marriages in Vietnam as well as in the United States. When married, the
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new couple will likely establish their own household, rather than remain with the husband’s
family. The preparation for early marriage is still a concern in both Vietnam and the United
States. They do need social help and do need to get at least a basic education to keep their
marriage in good condition.
Unlikely men, divorce, separation, or widowhood expose many women to a significant
loss of income, while single woman and female-headed households, in particular, are more
seriously and adversely affected by the loss of employment resulting from illness or other factors.
Hence, unmarried women may be more vulnerable to life events associated with economic
insecurity, material hardship and social dislocation, which has negative consequences that both
directly and indirectly affect their health. This is why most Asian women just ignore domestic
abuse and stay with their unhappiness marriage. In the United States, many groups have created
communities to help single mothers to stay healthy and take good care of their children. This
model is now forming in Vietnam too.
In the past, men were the main source of income and most of their marriages ended up in
infidelity. Now women can get higher education and a better job than men. Women then spend
more time at work and in the community than with their families. Otherwise, women in their
middle ages are having more libido than normal and are easily variable to touch with
extramarital sexual behavior. Economic resources tend to reduce the risk of divorce. The college
educated women are much less likely to divorce than those with lower levels of education.
Employment and earnings are help against divorce. An excellent law in the United States today
is the harassment program. This law affects all employment and protects women from sexual
orientation from co-workers.
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Works Cited
Allen, Elizabeth S., et al. "Premarital Precursors Of Marital Infidelity." Family Process 47.2
(2008): 243-259. Academic Search Premier. Web. 22 Nov. 2013.
Amato, P.R., & Previti, D. (2003). People’s reasons for divorcing: Gender, social class, the life
course, and adjustment. Journal of Family Issues, 24, 602–626.
Gaffney-Rhys, Ruth. "A Comparison Of Child Marriage And Polygamy From A Human Rights
Perspective: Are The Arguments Equally Cogent?." Journal Of Social Welfare & Family
Law 34.1 (2012): 49-61. Academic Search Premier. Web. 22 Nov. 2013.
Jenson, R. and Thornton, R., 2003. Early female marriage in the developing world. Gender and
development, 11 (2), 9–19.
Koskela, Hille. "'Gendered Exclusions': Women's Fear Of Violence And Changing Relations To
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Pain, R. (1991): Space, sexual violence and social control: integrating geographical and feminist
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UNICEF, 2005. Early marriage: a harmful traditional practice – a statistical exploration.